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Hi, I'm Brian Henson.

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When you watch The Muppet Show, it's the
only show on air where you're actually

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only seeing the top 18 inches of the
action.

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And in a lot of ways, what goes on
underneath the camera frame is just as

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exciting and sometimes more exciting
than what's going on in front of the

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camera.

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If you think about it, this is the way
it is.

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The camera's shooting basically from the
top of your head up to your hand. And

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that's the way all the performers are
working.

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They're all watching monitors to see
what the camera can see. And it's great

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watching the performers underneath,
watching them jockeying for position and

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people reaching between each other
trying to get to an arm run.

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It's really, it's a bit like watching a
pit stop at an Indy 500 race.

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It's really quite impossible, which is
what makes it so much fun to do.

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Here's the Muppet Show.

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Beverly Sills?

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Fifteen seconds for curtain, Beverly.

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Thank you, Scooter. I'm just warming up
my voice.

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Wow, what a note.

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Oh, that's nothing.

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My glasses.

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Don't worry, dear. I have a deal with an
optician.

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The Muppet Show with our very special
guest star, Beverly Sills.

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It's time to play the music. It's time
to light the lights. It's time to get me

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started. Why don't you get me started?

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Where'd this lobster come from?

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Newberg I

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play

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by ear

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Tonight's guest star, believe it or not,
is one of the great stars of opera,

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Miss Beverly Sills.

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But first, an opening number.

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Oh, no. I can't take any more of your
opening numbers.

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Come on, guys. What's wrong with them?
They're so weird.

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Yeah, what do you have tonight?

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A Chinese gorilla dancing ballet?

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Cancel the opening number.

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Listen, guys, I'm tired of all this
criticism. What would you do for an

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number? Funny you should ask. Yes, we do
have some ideas about that.

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We have a secret recipe.

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That's true.

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Concocted with much skill.

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Yes.

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And once you've tried our special
dish... That's right. You'll never get

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fill.

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Take ten terrific girls, but only nine
costumes, and you're cooking

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up something grand.

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Mix in some amber light and elegant
scenery.

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Then stir in a fine jazz band.

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Then add some funny men and pepper with
laughter.

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It's tart and tasty, I know.

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The Servant Wiping Hut.

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And what have you got?

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A burlesque show.

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Okay, girl, move it.

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Move it.

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Come on, Beaker, lift and push.

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Only three bars to go. Hurry.

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Move it. Move it. We'll see how it's
done. There, up top.

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All right.

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Everybody ready? Here.

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Floor, fly in that backdrop.

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Oh, no.

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Fly in the backdrop.

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Okay. Okay. Raise the curtain. Raise the
curtain. Okay. Curtain going up.

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some fudgy men.

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And pepper with laughter.

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It's hot and tasty, I know.

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Tell me, Mr. Waldorf, what do you get
when you pour boiling water down a

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hole? I don't know, Mr. Stadler. What do
you get when you pour boiling water

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down a rabbit hole?

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Hot truss bunnies.

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Boo!

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Piss! Get off this day!

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Tell me, Mr. Stadler, why do bees hum?

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I don't know, Mr. Waldorf. Why doobies
come?

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Because they don't know the word.

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We just did.

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Yeah, so you did.

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Wasn't very good after all.

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Oh,

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terrible.

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Okay, come on, come on. That was
wonderful. Okay, that was very nice.

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that great, Kermit?

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It was.

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Hey,

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Kermit, Kermit. Yes, Scooter? Somebody
outside was trying to break the

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combination lock on your bicycle, but I
stopped him.

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Oh, good. What did you do?

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I told him the combination.

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Oh, no. I'm a fuzzy.

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Listen, would you introduce the next
actor? I'll be right back. Kermit, I

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I don't know how.

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Oh, boy.

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Okay, Scooter, who's our next? Oh,
Beverly Sills. You know who she is,

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you? Scooter, you don't have to tell me
about Beverly Sills. She is a legend in

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music. Oh, boy.

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Boy, Fozzie even knows about opera
singers.

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Kermit has asked me to introduce
tonight's guest star.

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Ladies and gentlemen.

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One of the truly great singers of
country and western music, the Queen of

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Nashville, here she is, Miss Bev Sills.

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May I have some music for this aria?

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Here you go, Bev.

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It's our time, isn't it?

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Beverly Sills, the opera singer.

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That Beverly Sills.

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Well, what are we going to do about it?

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I'll ask Kermit.

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Wait a minute. What am I supposed to do
out here all by myself? Why do you do

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that? You wouldn't know how to tap
dance, would you?

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Well, as a matter of fact, I do know how
to tap dance.

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Fuck, I'm dead.

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You did what?

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Please don't yell at me.

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Beverly, I'm terribly sorry. Listen, you
don't have to sing country music or tap

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dance or anything.

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Don't tap me now, honey. I'm just
getting the hang of it.

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Now that's talent. An opera singer who
tap dances and sings cowboy songs.

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I wonder if there's anything she isn't
good at.

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Yes? Choosing what show to be on.

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Gee, Kermit, Miss Sill seemed to have a
lot of fun in that number. Oh, yeah, I

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think so. Well, you know, it was a
change for her. We're doing an opera

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later on in the show, though. Oh, I
know. Guess who wants to be in it with

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Me!

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Me, me, me, me, me, me!

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Oh, hello, Kermit.

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I didn't know you were there.

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Um, hello, Miss Piggy.

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Piggy, please, if you're thinking about
that opera piece, as far as I'm

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concerned, you are in the opera number.

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I am? Oh, Jeremy, what a surprise.

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Yes, but it's really not up to me
because Beverly Sills is holding some

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auditions a little later.

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Dear, I am not worried. I just hope
you're doing something suitable for my

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talents.

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Piggy, you're going to love it. It's
called Pigoletto.

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Welcome.

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Where's a Muppet News flag?

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Soprano Beverly Sills withdrew her
announced plans to retire from the

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stage. I'll be singing opera until the
cows come home, she said today in a...

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Hey,

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Beverly, I want to thank you for having
this meeting with me.

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Oh, that's all right.

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What's this very important matter you
want to talk to me about?

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Well, I have created a new art form.

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Really? Yes.

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This will rank with the creation of the
first opera.

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It's a cultural breakthrough.

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Well, what is it?

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Spoon hanging.

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Spoon hanging?

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Yes. Look, let me show you how it's
done. Here, take a spoon.

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Okay. Now, where do we hang it? Aha!

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That's the cultural part.

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Now, do you swear that Beverly Sills is
in this dressing room? Cross my heart,

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Sam. Oh, the Beverly Sills.

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World famous soprano and director of the
New York City Opera.

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The very one.

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Oh, I must go in and worship at her
feet.

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Miss Sills, I want you to know what a
thrill.

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What's the matter? Don't you like art?

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Poor fellow. He's obviously a lowbrow.

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Of course, and I'll call you. Miss Piggy
will do just fine.

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Yes, of course.

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What can I do for you, Miss Piggy? Well,
Kermie told me that we were doing an

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opera. Yes, we are. We're doing an opera
called Pigaletto.

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Yes, I know. And I bet I know why you're
here.

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Well, I am a pig.

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Yes, and I know you want to audition for
the opera.

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Yes, how did you guess?

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Oh, honey, they're coming out of the
woodwork.

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audition. That's why I didn't understand
what you mean. It must be difficult.

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There are so many talented singers. It's
very hard for me to say no. I'm glad

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you said that.

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Okay, you can all be in Pigoletto.

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Beverly, shall I keep my tambourine?

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Oh, absolutely, Miss Piggy. Why, you
play that tambourine almost as well as

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sing.

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Hey, hey, wait.

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What's going on? Hold it, hold it. Wait
a minute. What's going on here?

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because you're doing Pigoletto tonight.

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What's wrong with that? Well, there's an
opera for us cows.

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What's that?

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Madame Buttermilk. Hey,

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there's one for us goats, too.

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Goater Dommerung.

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Watch your language.

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And there's even an opera for us otters,
too. What's that?

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La Traviata.

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That's enough of that. Come on, back to
your dressing rooms. Come on, get out of

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here.

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Scram, scram, scram.

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Uncle Kermit? Yeah? There's an outfit
for little frogs like me, too.

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Really?

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Low and green.

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Robin, you're as bad as they are. Now
get out of here.

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Low and green.

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Gee, I could play the lead if I
scrunched down.

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Welcome to Muppet University.

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Hello. Today's lecture will be on
microscopic life forms.

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Underneath this terribly expensive
scientific doohickey is a

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single drop of pond water.

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Aha! Leaving frivolity behind, let us
now explore the world of the

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water drop. Lights, please.

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Ah.

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What wonders await our eyes?

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Hi -ho!

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Kermit the Protosaur here.

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And what a show we have for you. And now
to kick things off, here is the king of

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the single -celled comics, Fozzie
Amoeba!

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Yay!

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Hey, hey, hey!

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A funny thing happened to me on the way
to the microscope.

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This blog came up to me and said, I
haven't had a disease in weeks.

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So I bit him.

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Class dismissed.

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Okay, that was very nice, Sam.

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It was a fiasco.

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No, no, no. It was educational.

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I learned a lot from that.

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You did? Oh, bless you, Kermit. Tell me,
what did you learn from that? Well, I

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learned that those little green protozoa
have a lot of talent.

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Well, Kermit, everybody's on stage for
the opera except the spear carriers.

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They want more money. No way.

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See how much they want. Right.

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And now, ladies and gentlemen, we
present a totally unknown and

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opera, Pigoletto, sung to the music of
La Traviata and performed for you by the

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Muppetopolitan Opera Company.

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It's all very strange, but the good
thing about it is that it stars Miss

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Sills!

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I don't know.

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what it means.

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saw the beginning and middle of the
Muppet Show, so this must be the end.

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Which means it is time to say thank you
to our very special guest, our lady

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gentleman, Beverly Sills!

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And

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thank

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00:25:08,170 --> 00:25:09,170
you, Kermit.

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Oh, thank you, Beverly. You're a great
sport to put up with all of our

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goofiness. Oh, not at all. I really
enjoyed it. Oh, good. As a matter of

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doing the Muppet Show is almost as much
fun as doing a serious opera.

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Wow. Does that mean you'd like to come
back next week?

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I said almost.

245
00:25:25,570 --> 00:25:29,590
Beverly, Beverly, does this mean that
you are forsaking spoon -hanging for

246
00:25:29,590 --> 00:25:30,750
lesser art form?

247
00:25:31,950 --> 00:25:34,250
We'll see you next time on the Muppet
Show.

248
00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:20,900
Who's the guest star tonight?

249
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,160
Beverly Hills?

250
00:26:22,220 --> 00:26:23,260
I've been there before.