1
00:00:00,940 --> 00:00:03,140
Show me that smile again.

2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:08,620
Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

3
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,420
We're nowhere near the end.

4
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:15,100
The fest is ready to begin.

5
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,640
As long as we got each other.

6
00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:33,310
Sharon's left even alone.

7
00:00:39,310 --> 00:00:40,830
Mike, can I get your picture, please?

8
00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:43,710
Yo, Fido, dinner!

9
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:47,630
I'll be right down, fire hydrant.

10
00:00:49,910 --> 00:00:52,690
Tell Mom I'm just going to finish this
paragraph.

11
00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:54,830
Hey, Mom, Fido's going to finish a
paragraph.

12
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:58,090
Thank you, I heard. And frankly, fire
hydrant.

13
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,900
I don't think it's funny or appropriate
for you to call your sister Fido.

14
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,340
You're right. It's a boy's name.

15
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,740
Is she still working on that article?

16
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,440
Uh -huh. Well, she's taking this tryout
for the school paper very seriously.

17
00:01:11,860 --> 00:01:15,720
Come on, Ed. This is the Walt Whitman
Chronicle here, one of the world's great

18
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:16,720
papers.

19
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,160
It's right up there with Charmin and
Neisenthoft.

20
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:25,240
Mike, this is very important to Carol.
Try to keep your snide comments to a

21
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,640
minimum. So like what? Three or four?

22
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,260
You're working awfully hard, sweetheart.

23
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:37,240
Yeah, I just want to get it right. You
know, so it's like the best article

24
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,300
they've ever got.

25
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,620
Mm -hmm. Pretty tough to beat last week,
too.

26
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,140
Granola bars, you played gummy bears and
snack machines.

27
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000
That's one.

28
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:47,920
One what?

29
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,480
Snag comments.

30
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,220
Mom says Mike can make three more at you
during dinner.

31
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:57,100
I think probably that was the last one,
right, Mike?

32
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,220
Why, yes, Father, I believe it was.

33
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,100
Anyway, tomorrow's the moment of truth.
Tomorrow, Mr.

34
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,759
Simmons reads all the articles and
decides to get to the job.

35
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,840
Oh, no, not Simmons.

36
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,320
Why? Who's Simmons?

37
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,660
That's the teacher who locked a kid in a
closet for not closing a quote.

38
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:21,740
I don't think you have anything to worry
about. Just do the best you can, and

39
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:22,740
I'm sure he'll be impressed.

40
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,200
This is so exciting!

41
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:26,960
The roar!

42
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:31,060
through my veins.

43
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:35,120
Maybe I've got what it takes. Maybe I
don't. But I'll never find out if I

44
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,300
leap into the darkness and give it my
all.

45
00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:41,540
If she sings, I gotta be me. I swear
I'll throw up.

46
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,120
That's two.

47
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:50,580
Mom, do you think you could read my
article tonight and tell me what you

48
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,720
Boy, I'd be happy to, honey.

49
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,080
You'll be honored?

50
00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:56,140
Savagely honored.

51
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,480
I know.

52
00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:01,210
I'm probably... Probably just to worry
for nothing, but have you ever wanted

53
00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:04,190
something so much you could feel it with
your entire body?

54
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:12,330
Well, now that you mention it... Yeah,
Jerry, yeah, put

55
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,330
me in for 20 bucks.

56
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:15,450
Yeah, of course I have it.

57
00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,570
Look, only a scuzzball wouldn't have 20
bucks.

58
00:03:18,910 --> 00:03:19,910
Yeah, okay.

59
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,030
Come on.

60
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,210
Hey, Ben, give me 20 bucks. No way.

61
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:27,550
Ben, we didn't want you to know this,
but...

62
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:30,880
Well, Mom needs an operation.

63
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,460
That's low, Mike, even for you.

64
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,460
Okay, okay, okay.

65
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:40,000
Look, Jerry Della, she's over at Off
Track Bedding, and he's got a hot tip on

66
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,160
pesky -persky in the fort.

67
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,540
Is that a horse?

68
00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:44,240
No, it's an imported beer.

69
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:45,740
Of course it's a horse.

70
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:49,000
Ben, look, I'm giving you the
opportunity to make $100.

71
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:51,180
Hmm.

72
00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:54,060
That sounds pretty good.

73
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,140
Of course it sounds pretty good.

74
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,940
And you're acting like I'm trying to put
one over on you or something.

75
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,300
I'm sorry.

76
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:02,700
Look, forget it. But you'll do it?

77
00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:05,320
Sure, and we'll split the profit.

78
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,640
All right, then.

79
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,280
70 -30 mine.

80
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:09,560
What?

81
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:11,080
Take it or leave it.

82
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,160
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

83
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,420
It's a pleasure doing business with you,
Mike.

84
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,740
That kid's gonna be good.

85
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,940
Carol's paper can't be that bad.

86
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,720
She wrote about guys who dig for clams.

87
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,200
Well, what's wrong with that?

88
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:38,380
She called it, I clam, therefore I am.

89
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400
Did she?

90
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:41,760
Listen to this.

91
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:47,660
Night abduces the isthmus neath its
obsidian mantle.

92
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:54,480
The mollusks imbibe one last sip, twixt
their valves, and expel the day's

93
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,520
mucus.

94
00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:57,940
She could be pushing a little.

95
00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,500
Jason, read this.

96
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:07,080
With dexterous manipulation of his
digits, the master clamor extricates the

97
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,140
muculent mollusk from its lipidious
menage.

98
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:17,580
Well, look at it this way. We have a
daughter who knows what muculence is.

99
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,240
How many people know what muculence is?

100
00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:22,840
Nobody knows what muculence is.

101
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,500
And that's the problem.

102
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:25,599
Mm -hmm.

103
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,840
The newspaper already needs to be clear.

104
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:29,760
Accessible.

105
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:35,100
Ah, Jason, what am I going to tell her?
She asked for my honest opinion.

106
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,520
No kid wants your honest opinion.

107
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,240
They want unconditional approval.

108
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:42,140
And what if you don't approve?

109
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,520
Then you have a significant dilemma,
much like the one you're in now.

110
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,900
Thank you, Dr. Smith.

111
00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:52,140
Oh, come on, Jason. Help me out here.

112
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:57,050
Well, look, we want this to be a
learning experience for her. Go on. And

113
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,950
learning is based on positive
reinforcement. More.

114
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:04,190
See, if you want a pigeon to perform,
you reward it with a pellet. What are

115
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:07,150
saying? I'm saying we should have had
pigeons. They're easier to raise.

116
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:09,110
Come on.

117
00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:14,950
You just start off by pointing out the
strength of the article. And then you

118
00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:17,030
show her how the article could be
improved.

119
00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:18,450
You're right.

120
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:20,850
Accentuate the positive.

121
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:24,030
Yes, be gentle and nurturing and
supportive.

122
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:29,110
Then if that doesn't work, you simply
tie her to the bed and set her Reeboks

123
00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:30,110
fire.

124
00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,050
Carol?

125
00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,570
Come in.

126
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:51,220
Well, it's... It's late. You must be
tired. We can talk about this later. No,

127
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:52,780
no. I've been waiting for you.

128
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:59,120
I read the article again, and I think I
can be more objective now.

129
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,260
Well, that's a good thing to do.

130
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:04,180
Put it away for a while. Get some
distance.

131
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,700
Often what you thought was perfect... I
know, I know, I know. I already changed

132
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,500
it. You did?

133
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,080
Yeah. Ah.

134
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,380
The two muculences in the same sentence.

135
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,300
Terrible.

136
00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:20,810
Made the second one pituitousness.

137
00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:23,870
Oh.

138
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,550
Are you proud of me, Mom? The truth.

139
00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:32,190
Of course, honey. I am always proud of
you. You think I'll make the paper?

140
00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:37,570
Well, it's obvious you have potential.

141
00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:42,430
Very few people could write like this.

142
00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:45,890
Oh, you don't think I could change
anything?

143
00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:47,480
Mom. This is great.

144
00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:54,840
Well, what I'm saying is, Carol, it's
clear that

145
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,820
you put a lot of time into this article.

146
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:03,500
It's well thought out. It's well typed.

147
00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:08,680
And I just love these margins.

148
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:10,180
But?

149
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,540
Well, it's not so much a but.

150
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,860
Just like a but. Well.

151
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,620
What I'm trying to say is... Cut to the
butt, Mom.

152
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:26,980
But... It's just not newspaper writing,
honey.

153
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,480
Look.

154
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:32,940
In any field, there are rules.

155
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,840
You just have to learn them.

156
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,960
Newspaper writing has to be more simple.

157
00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:40,159
Straightforward.

158
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:44,140
Oh! I think my article's garbage.

159
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:55,180
Sweetheart, if I let you turn this in to
Mr. Simmons, he'd tell you the same

160
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:56,260
things, only meaner.

161
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:06,200
Introduction to journalism.

162
00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:10,840
I found it very helpful, and I'm sure
you will, too.

163
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,000
Yeah.

164
00:09:20,170 --> 00:09:21,169
Are you okay?

165
00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:22,170
Yeah, I'm fine.

166
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,050
Really?

167
00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:31,410
Yeah, really. Thanks for your advice.

168
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:33,230
Good.

169
00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:35,630
Night, pumpkin.

170
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,440
I know. Jerry says we bet on undulating
the eight. I say we bet on arbitrary.

171
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,580
Why? Why not?

172
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:03,700
Ben, look at these times. I mean, you'll
be growing chest hair before arbitrary

173
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:04,780
finishes this race.

174
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,720
I just got a hunch about this one.

175
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,200
Ben, you can't bet a race on a hunch.

176
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:15,600
Okay, but what about that arbitrary
comes out of secretary by way of

177
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,360
And Alonzo picked up three purses in his
last four turns that week.

178
00:10:21,390 --> 00:10:27,050
Yeah, I know that. But I say we stick
with Jerry. I mean, he's been right so

179
00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:28,590
far. I'm not so sure.

180
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,490
Ben, who's got the connections?

181
00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:34,090
Who's got the money? Who's got the
weight advantage?

182
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:36,130
The Angela.

183
00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,250
Earth to Maggie.

184
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:44,470
Everything okay?

185
00:10:45,130 --> 00:10:46,130
Oh.

186
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:50,270
Well, I was just wondering why Carol
hasn't come down yet.

187
00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:54,770
Oh, I hope I wasn't too hard on her last
night.

188
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:59,890
No, I'm sure you were just... Unless...
Did you burn her Reeboks?

189
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:05,190
What do you want for Christmas, Mom?
Because my middle name is Money.

190
00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:09,130
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been
living under the assumption your middle

191
00:11:09,130 --> 00:11:14,150
name was Humphrey. I hate Humphrey. Oh!
And a kid with $65 can call his own

192
00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:15,210
shots. Really?

193
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:18,550
Where did you get $65?

194
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:23,750
I came into a little money, Mom, and
you've always taught me to share, so I'm

195
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:24,750
sharing it with my little bro.

196
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:29,090
Now, just for the heck of it, Mike, the
truth.

197
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,850
Jerry Delish bet on a horse for us from
the one.

198
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:36,750
Mike, you took Ben's money and ripped it
on a horse?

199
00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:38,270
It was a sure thing, Mom.

200
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,850
Jerry Delish said so.

201
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:43,410
Jerry, I swear she looked 18, Delish.

202
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:47,010
There will be no more betting. But,
Mom...

203
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:52,780
I know. Wait, but Mom, these guys are
hot. They're on a roll. They won.

204
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:58,460
Now, I'm sure there are some people who
actually lose money at the track.

205
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:03,320
But those people don't know Jerry
Delish.

206
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,420
Ah.

207
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:14,500
Well, maybe you're right, Jason. These
boys do seem to have winter written all

208
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,389
over them.

209
00:12:15,390 --> 00:12:21,550
So we can let it ride on undulating the
eights? Boy, and I say this to you as a

210
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:24,790
friend, I think you'd be crazy not to.

211
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:26,910
Yeah, all right.

212
00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:28,710
Thanks a lot. See you later.

213
00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:36,150
Don't worry, this will work.

214
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,610
Two bucks says you're a loser. You're
on.

215
00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:41,630
Carol?

216
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,420
Don't worry, she'll be fine.

217
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,560
After all, she is a fever.

218
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,420
She can take criticism.

219
00:12:55,540 --> 00:13:00,240
Good morning, Carol.

220
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:03,820
You look nice.

221
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,080
Thank you.

222
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,300
That's a real cute sweater.

223
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,240
Oh, you like it?

224
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:12,679
A lot.

225
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,480
It's a good color for you. It brings out
your eyes.

226
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,760
Not too bright?

227
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:18,450
It's very becoming.

228
00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:21,490
Sure, if not, I imagine there's a book I
could read, perhaps.

229
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,070
Introduction to Dressing?

230
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:32,790
You call these facts?

231
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:37,250
How many kids threw up from the tuna
casserole?

232
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:41,090
And where is the cafeteria side of the
story?

233
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,770
Food services had no comment.

234
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:50,430
Food services had no comment. You go
back down to the cafeteria. Somebody in

235
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,210
sandwiches or in pudding has an axe to
grind.

236
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:57,170
You find yourself a deep throat and you
bring back a story.

237
00:13:58,770 --> 00:13:59,770
Next.

238
00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:07,370
Sit down.

239
00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:22,450
You want the job?

240
00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:23,970
You got it.

241
00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:31,490
Really? You like my writing? I work so
hard on my metaphors. Metaphors stink.

242
00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:35,850
Your similes are more... Similes stink.

243
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,790
Your writing, it stinks.

244
00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:45,290
What? Oh, excuse me. I forgot who I was
talking to. It is replete with

245
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:46,290
stinkiosity.

246
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,180
others that they can't even spell.

247
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,500
You spell words that nobody knows.

248
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,620
Mucus.

249
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:01,120
What in the hell is mucus?

250
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:08,980
Well, it's, um, it's basically slimy
glop. Can you call it

251
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:13,440
slimy glop? People know what slimy glop
is.

252
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,460
Yeah, well, I just felt that maybe it
was... Felt is for poop.

253
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:27,250
Work the job.

254
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,890
Around the fourth turn, it's Nice Girl
and Delete.

255
00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:32,190
Come on, Undulate!

256
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:36,750
It's still Nice Girl a full six lengths
ahead of Hedge Trimmer, with Undulate a

257
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:37,750
distant third.

258
00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:40,850
Hey, guys, it looks like Undulate's
gonna be very late.

259
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:44,870
Relax. Nice Girl always starts strong.
She'll fade.

260
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,830
And Nice Girl's starting to fade.

261
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:49,750
Now, come on, you can do it, Undulate.
Don't worry.

262
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:52,770
She'll make her move on the outside,
right here.

263
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:55,940
And let's see. Moving on the outside,
it's Undulate. Undulate.

264
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,319
Look at her go.

265
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,020
And they're moving down the final
stretch.

266
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,280
They're neck and neck.

267
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:01,920
It's nice girl, undulate.

268
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,640
Nice girl, undulate.

269
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:08,840
And at the finish, it's undulate by a
nose hair.

270
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,540
And she'll pay off at nine to one,
folks.

271
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,740
Nine to one. Holy cow, that's 450 bucks.

272
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:21,360
All right, I think Jerry called from
OTB. What do we do fast, Benny? We keep

273
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,140
450, let it ride on nail biter in the
ninth.

274
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,470
Guys, I think you should quit while
you're ahead.

275
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:26,810
Jason.

276
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,050
Maggie, that's $450.

277
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:33,370
You put that in a rollover account with
interest to wait. Oh, come on.

278
00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:35,990
We could teach him this gambling lesson
another time.

279
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:37,490
Okay.

280
00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:43,730
Boys, I'd say this is no time to stop.
You know, you got it. You got that

281
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:46,910
All right, Jerry, put it all on
Nailbiter to win.

282
00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:51,010
Oh, hi, Carol.

283
00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,760
How did it go with the... Simmons.

284
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,900
Fine, thank you. I got the job.

285
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,280
Oh, really?

286
00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,560
Well, congratulations,

287
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,740
honey. That's wonderful.

288
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,960
Carol got the job on the paper.

289
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
What are you doing?

290
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:32,960
Farming out of my way.

291
00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:38,920
Carol, how come you turned the job down?

292
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,640
I mean, it really seemed like you had
your heart set on it.

293
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,900
Yeah, well, that was before I realized
there's nothing really creative about

294
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,400
journalism. I mean, all you do is
regurgitate facts.

295
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:50,980
Now we're going to be a writer?

296
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:54,980
I'd rather do a novel. At least people
don't train their puppies on Moby Dick.

297
00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:04,630
I can understand you being angry at me
for my criticism of your article.

298
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:06,390
Why should I be angry?

299
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:08,710
Simmons gave me the job.

300
00:18:09,430 --> 00:18:10,430
I know.

301
00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:18,490
I know, and I guess what I'm trying to
say is, well, honey, it's always tricky

302
00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:22,050
giving criticism to someone you love,
and I guess I just didn't do a very good

303
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,050
job.

304
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:29,650
Obviously, Simmons was very happy with
what you did, and I'm... I'm glad that I

305
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,650
was wrong.

306
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:33,270
No.

307
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:37,009
Pardon me?

308
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,730
I said no, okay? Are you happy? You did
everything you said only worked.

309
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:50,590
He said my article was replete with
stinkiosity.

310
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,510
But you said that you got the job.

311
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:57,760
Yeah, well, that was... only because all
the other articles were repleted with

312
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,760
stinkiosity.

313
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:03,480
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.

314
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,880
He said he didn't even know what mucus
was.

315
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:13,380
Well, that's... That's just his
stupidity, sweetheart. Everybody knows

316
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:14,380
mucus is.

317
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:20,960
I'll never be able to write like you.
Oh, oh, hold on, hold on, honey. That's

318
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,960
just not true.

319
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,580
Now, maybe you were reaching a little.

320
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:28,050
But you have great natural ability.

321
00:19:28,490 --> 00:19:29,650
You're just saying that.

322
00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:33,290
Hey.

323
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:39,130
Didn't I establish myself last night as
someone who isn't afraid to tell the

324
00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:40,130
truth?

325
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:42,410
Yeah.

326
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,890
Even if it does mean crushing a little
kid's ego.

327
00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:54,490
You really think I might have natural
ability?

328
00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,060
I dug this out of the attic this
afternoon.

329
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,580
And I thought that you might like to
take a look at it.

330
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,040
A letter I wrote from camp five years
ago?

331
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:09,900
Read it.

332
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,540
Dear Mom and Dad, Camp is fun.

333
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,800
Except for the rash I got when I tried
to find out what poison sumac looks

334
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,980
Except for the kids teasing anyone who's
small or fat or left -handed.

335
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,860
Except for missing you and baby Ben.

336
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,460
And even Michael Little, but don't tell
him.

337
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,240
Bring my chemistry set and potato chips
on visiting day.

338
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,400
Love, Carol.

339
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:44,880
That's not so good.

340
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,940
Hey, didn't we bring your chemistry set
and your potato chips?

341
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:52,580
Yeah.

342
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,100
Then you got your point across.

343
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,760
Yeah. Yeah.

344
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,300
Yeah, I see what you're saying.

345
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,420
But I still think it could have been
better.

346
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,960
Now, what makes you say that?

347
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,620
Well, as I remember, you brought Mike,
too.

348
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:20,560
And this is unbelievable. Coming around
the final turn, it's nail -biter by 18

349
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:25,100
lengths. Running a distance second is
Slim's Frog, with Arnold's Dream Date in

350
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,100
third position.

351
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,420
And it's Nailbiter by 20 lengths.

352
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,500
And Nailbiter's at the final pole.

353
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,080
And he must be a full 25 lengths ahead.

354
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,380
That horse could walk in from here. Go,
Nailbiter!

355
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,440
I'll never have to work again!

356
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,099
Uh -oh.

357
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,540
Ladies and gentlemen, wait a minute.

358
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,900
There's been an accident.

359
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,400
Nailbiter has tripped and gone down.

360
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,340
The horse is on the ground.

361
00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:55,910
In all my years at the track, I've never
seen anything like this. A foot from

362
00:21:55,910 --> 00:21:57,970
the finish line. Maybe two feet.

363
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:01,590
And the jockey is trying to drag the
horse across the finish.

364
00:22:02,830 --> 00:22:04,270
This is amazing.

365
00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:08,590
A 94 -pound man trying to drag a
racehorse by one leg.

366
00:22:10,970 --> 00:22:16,210
Look out! Coming up to the outside is
Slim's frog.

367
00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:18,330
And the winner is...

368
00:22:18,890 --> 00:22:19,890
Slim's frog!

369
00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:27,230
I hope you boys have learned your
lesson.

370
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:34,750
Oh, look at here.

371
00:22:35,510 --> 00:22:39,150
X -rays reveal that nail biter suffered
a fractured fibula.

372
00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:44,670
Trainer Jim Shepard immediately
announced that his prized thoroughbred

373
00:22:44,670 --> 00:22:45,670
put out to stud.

374
00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:57,330
Well, Ben, sometimes when a boy horse
gets hurt, they use them to get lots and

375
00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:58,670
lots of girl horses pregnant.

376
00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:00,550
That's very good.