1 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,638 We have an important meeting. - They're not all here yet. 2 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,948 Would you like to be in the middle? or sit at the end of the table? 3 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:36,280 I'll sit in the middle and Ms Belfridge at the end. 4 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,794 Coffee? - Please. 5 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,675 Come on, Captain Peacock. Ms. Brahms. You too, Spooner. 6 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,917 This Think Tank meeting would start at 8:30. 7 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,157 Mr Humphries and Mrs Slocombe are also included. 8 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,399 I don't plan to to start before they get there. 9 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:00,798 8:32. Where are they anyway? - It's no use for her to be late. 10 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,551 Didn't she say anything? They went to a party. Costumed. 11 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,833 She didn't invite me at all. - She thought you were too fancy for it. 12 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,599 What did she go as? - No idea. 13 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,270 She does have some sanitary items taken. 14 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,994 She probably went like an old boiler. 15 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,716 Wouldn't you be so condescending? want to talk about her? 16 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,117 Mrs Slocombe is a respected staff member. 17 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,995 Totally agree. 18 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,668 Goddammit. Cocheese and Hiawatha. 19 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,919 I'm sorry we're so late. 20 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,396 Mr Humphries and I haven't been home yet. 21 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,752 What happened? - We had a party in Peckham. 22 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,669 We couldn't take the bus because we had to dress up. 23 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,758 Good of you to mention that. 24 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,350 It was a punk party. 25 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,838 Just a shame that a group Hell's Angels surrounded the house. 26 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:13,353 Early this morning Mr Humphries is through climbed down a drainpipe... 27 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:18,680 to get a cop's attention. - That shouldn't have been that hard. 28 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,836 I didn't see any. 29 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:26,990 I asked a man if he knew. He said 'no' and gave me his wallet. 30 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,510 He ran away, I followed. 31 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:36,317 Suddenly there were police vans around me. Please explain that. 32 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:41,469 That's why we're so late. - I have to go to Mr. Grace soon. 33 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:47,357 Can't we just dress up? - First I want to hear your ideas. 34 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,518 I was indeed too fancy for it. 35 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,359 What is that? - My mother's broadcasting system. 36 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,791 We have another one at home, so we can talk to each other. 37 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,356 I have it just in case but took it out of my car. 38 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:16,997 So can we start now? In short, it comes down to this: 39 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,751 The sales figures are up to critical level has fallen and must be raised. 40 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,999 You know that Mr. Grace wanted to buy advertising time on TV... 41 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,589 but that was too expensive. 42 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,155 That's why we're going to do it via radio. 43 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:36,992 If you've thought about it, we can present our idea to him. 44 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,432 What have you come up with? - I was thinking about a sale. 45 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,757 Not very original. - I also said I was thinking about it. 46 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:51,399 Then I thought: I don't get any commission, so what am I worried about? 47 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:55,388 If we have to close this department, what are you going to do then? 48 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,155 Salute. 49 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,589 Record it. 50 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,429 Do you still have our problem? can think? 51 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,918 I was too busy dressing up. 52 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,432 Then why are you here? - Because I had to. 53 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:18,076 Mr Grace on the line. He wants to hear your ideas now. 54 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:21,750 But we don't have that yet. Do you know something? 55 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:27,512 I just realized that I'm my neighbor have to ask to look at my pussy. 56 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,599 She must be worried sick because I wasn't there last night. 57 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,917 It won't be long before you can enjoy it all day long stay with that cat. 58 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:39,875 Our existence now depends of a single idea. Well? 59 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,873 Someone must have an idea, right? 60 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:52,272 Breakie, breakie. This is Big Red in a twenty-ton truck on the highway. 61 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,109 Little Boy Blue, will you receive me? 62 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:01,075 Loud and clear. But I can now don't talk. Over and close. 63 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:07,831 I continue to be amazed by your lifestyle. - Who was that? 64 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:13,831 It can be very lonely on the road. This way you can talk to all kinds of people. 65 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:19,273 This driver has a tough boy. - That's what it sounded like. 66 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,513 That's exactly what I was looking for. 67 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,393 Then you can hurry. He's on his way to Dover. 68 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,354 No, for that commercial. We'll just do it via this channel. 69 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:35,509 That costs nothing. Mr Grace will find it a good idea. Well done, team. 70 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,552 I'm going to Pam's Pantry for a decent cup of coffee. 71 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,990 How far does he get? - No idea. 72 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:52,115 Let's give it a try. - Let's see who we can find. 73 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,312 You are in the air. - What should I say? 74 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,432 Just tell me who you are. 75 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,758 Hello, radio enthusiasts. This is Big Bert Spooner. 76 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,556 If you hear this, respond. - Hello, Mr. Spooner. 77 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,399 Can you tell us a little more about yourself? 78 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,990 I'm tall, dark and handsome. 79 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,760 Where do you live, Mr. Spooner? 80 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:21,911 Listen, baby. Before I give you the address give up my romantic abode... 81 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:26,477 I would like certain things have essential data. 82 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,478 I'm blonde and six feet tall. 83 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:34,629 I have big blue eyes and I weigh sixty kilos. 84 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,479 Exactly what I'm looking for. What are you driving? 85 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:42,470 In a blue police car and we are coming to you now. 86 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,394 You have it on the police channel coordinated. 87 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,752 Stay away from it anyway. Later we will all be arrested. 88 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:55,556 Do you have to ruin it again? - I still want to. Go on. 89 00:06:55,760 --> 00:07:00,709 They can't find us anymore. - You're in the air. 90 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:10,753 Is anyone there? who wants to talk to someone here? 91 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,748 Can you hear me above all the noise? 92 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,157 Loud and clear. 93 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,070 Ask what his name is. - Hello? What's your name? 94 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:27,398 Big Jock McGirk. I'm bringing a load dynamite to Gravesend. 95 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,239 How brave. 96 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:35,355 What is your chassis number and what is on the counter? 97 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,395 Excuse me? 98 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:45,390 He means: What do you look like and how old are you? 99 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:52,316 My chassis number is 90-60-90. 100 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,239 Must have an MOT inspection. 101 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:04,318 My age is a secret, but he is far below the speed limit. 102 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:08,069 Is that inside? or outside the built-up area? 103 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,068 Inside, of course. - You have a lovely voice. 104 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,909 How nice he is. - Almost all of them are. 105 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,556 I can already see him in my mind. Strong tattooed arms... 106 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,230 who fiddle with that enormous steering wheel. 107 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,069 Not knowing that he talks to the oldest punk in the world. 108 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,078 Just shut up. I like it just as much. 109 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:35,752 Do you have hobbies? - Of course. Gardening. 110 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,919 And of course I venture every now and then a gamble on bingo night. 111 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,759 And I make my own jam. 112 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,999 Quite a homebody, aren't you? - So what. I also knit my own sweaters. 113 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,478 And I just put the finishing touches on the bedspread. 114 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,877 She will start soon too about that cat of hers. 115 00:08:55,080 --> 00:09:00,393 On the mantelpiece in my There is a row of silver cups in the living room. 116 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,229 What are they for? - For my pussy. 117 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:09,833 Every time I show it, I win a prize. 118 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,477 What happened? - He must have stopped for a cup of coffee. 119 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:30,354 Congratulations. I heard that Mr. Grace was wildly enthusiastic when he heard it. 120 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,232 Because it doesn't cost a cent. 121 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:38,834 Rumor has it that you... want to put into diary form. 122 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,918 We haven't quite figured that out yet. 123 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:47,752 We are working on it now. - You get ten pounds per episode. 124 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,316 That's why I want offering my literary talents. 125 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,751 I still have some stories behind hand. 126 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,155 We can do it without you. 127 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,750 A story is about a department head... 128 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:06,990 who was stuck in the elevator with someone Ms. Johnson from the candle department. 129 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,078 To date no one knows still from here. 130 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,796 If we could use your help, we will of course let you know. 131 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,549 That's what I thought. Have a nice day. 132 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,397 What was that about? - No idea. 133 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,239 Instead of going in on such speculations... 134 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:31,117 I suggest we try the attract the listeners' attention. 135 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,552 With an English version of Dallas, full of sex and intrigue. 136 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,468 I was thinking of Brideshead Revisited. - Too fancy. 137 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:45,312 There is nothing wrong with speaking the English language heard pronounced correctly. 138 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,069 Do you mean me there? would be too ordinary or something? 139 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,717 I'm just saying that we have a beautiful language. 140 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,718 We have the best classical writers. 141 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:00,629 Why don't we do something like that as Forsyte Saga? 142 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,990 You can always play the maid. 143 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:08,115 He always says those things because I live in a terraced house. 144 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,436 He thinks everyone is ordinary. 145 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:14,758 Of course not. We have to be kind to each other. 146 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,269 He probably didn't mean anything by it. 147 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:23,510 In Upstairs Downstairs the best scenes occur with the staff. 148 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:29,509 Then we play the staff and Captain Peacock is the man of the house. 149 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,356 I can talk quite nicely. 150 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,597 If he keeps this up, I'll have dinner at another table. 151 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,916 In England we call that 'lunch'. 152 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:42,671 If England is such a great country, Then why is there such inflation? 153 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:47,431 And strikes? And why is it raining then? always? What's so great about that? 154 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,279 Let me tell you what's so great. 155 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:54,837 It's the only great country in the world that is free standing. 156 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,270 This is the final straw. I'll submit my own story. 157 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:05,270 I also have an idea that I am alone can work out. Just the title. 158 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,429 How about 'The Adventures of Korky the Cat'? 159 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,154 I will also dine elsewhere. 160 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:18,670 I also had an idea. But if we not joining forces... 161 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:24,671 I'll just go to the toilet for business reasons to think about it quietly. 162 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,189 Barbara Cartland has also left. 163 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,915 Then there are only the two of us. 164 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:38,831 I think my military career is one could make for a fascinating story. 165 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,600 From quite a few episodes. 166 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:47,511 It is indeed a long way from it engineer corps to Brideshead Revisited. 167 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:51,838 Yes yes. I'll dine at another table further away. 168 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,631 The ideas are already sprouting like mushrooms out of the ground? 169 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,354 They become individual contributions. 170 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:02,269 Then I expect you on Monday morning at five o'clock. 171 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,598 Then Ms. Belfridge still time to read them. 172 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,839 She had English Literature in her subject package. 173 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,915 Not just a pretty face? 174 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:19,750 Thank you. Did you have a nice dinner? 175 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,076 Of course, Mr. Grace. That will certainly work. 176 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,273 You think it's a good idea? Very nice. 177 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,598 Inside. 178 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:36,318 The literary stars are outside. - Let them in. 179 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:42,476 I am very impressed with it the quality of the submitted work. 180 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,911 Of course we only pay when the piece is used. 181 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,192 But it can still be done nicely run into the numbers. 182 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,837 There is also a fee. - How many? 183 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:58,318 That depends on the size. - Then you're in. 184 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,994 Don't worry about it. - I do that too. 185 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,429 Ms. Belfridge has every story evaluated. 186 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,438 There is a lot of unsuspected talent here. 187 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,918 But we can only tell one story use. First Mr. Spooner. 188 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,476 You have received two stars. Subject: Good. 189 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,355 Science fiction always does well. E.T. And so. 190 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,678 But we liked the plot quite far-fetched. 191 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,998 It was about a government in control of an alien pudding... 192 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,670 who had entrenched himself in the post office. 193 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,997 Pretty silly. - Ever tried calling them? 194 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:42,069 They never answer. - The pudding has become stiff. 195 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:47,038 Where's your contribution, Ms. Brahms? - I have it here. 196 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:53,349 It's about a girl who is taken by a man is rejected because she is poor. 197 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,154 There's some truth in that. 198 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:00,353 But she takes revenge: She wins the draw, ruins him on the stock market... 199 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:05,350 so he lives in a terraced house in Surbiton have to live. 200 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,077 Quite an anti-climax. - But he smears it... 201 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:16,718 is arrested and sold to a male harem in the Middle East. 202 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,913 What nonsense. There are none male harems in the Middle East. 203 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,271 Then I'll change it to Watford. 204 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,519 It's too bizarre. And now Mrs Slocombe. 205 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,676 I thought it was very good. 206 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:37,512 It just flowed out of my pen once I got started. 207 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,836 'Journey to the Continent.' 208 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:46,354 The story of an ordinary housewife who becomes a truck driver. 209 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:51,429 Some of those adventures with hitchhikers were quite daring. 210 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,074 A touch of Harold Robbins. 211 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,669 How about that lan Fleming-esque piece? 212 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:02,910 If she defeats the hijackers, they will kill her want to steal a load of homemade jam. 213 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,273 She just has to be thirty years younger to make it believable. 214 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,598 She records on almost every page a herbal bath. 215 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,110 Many men prefer to older women. 216 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,835 How about Joan Collins from Dynasty? 217 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:26,113 She doesn't jump at a hundred kilometers per hour from a truck... 218 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,279 while she screams: Surrender or I'll kick your ass. 219 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,154 Anyway, not. But he does get seven points. 220 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,272 And now Mr Humphries. What a style. 221 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,278 What imagination, what ingenuity. 222 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,756 What's all that blue? - The pieces that are unusable. 223 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:50,114 But what is left then? - The title: 'Nellie the Naughty Nun'. 224 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,596 There's nothing in it which is not in the dictionary. 225 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,916 But not on the same page. 226 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,429 And now Captain Peacock. 227 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:04,192 As expected he tells us an erudite story about the army. 228 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:09,076 The reader feels the heat and the flies. He smells the bazaars. 229 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:14,400 He sympathizes with the remarkable story of the protagonist... 230 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,910 which changes the course of world history changes. 231 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,271 It's a genius piece. 232 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:28,238 Ms Belfridge has rightly pointed out that it is a copy of Lawrence. 233 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,598 I have some changes made. 234 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,190 'Peacock of Arabia' isn't enough anyway. 235 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,790 I have seven points. Does this mean I won? 236 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,073 There was another contribution that contained the right ingredients. 237 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:48,989 A kind of Tom Jones, full of adventure, sex and excitement. 238 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,432 From whom? - Mr. Harman. Very talented. 239 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,518 You are the stars and can play all roles. 240 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,679 Absolutely not. My piece is much better. 241 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,155 If my Nellie doesn't join in, I'm gone. 242 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,636 That also applies to me. - It makes a hundred pounds. 243 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,671 We're participating. 244 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,030 We can start. 245 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,835 Thank you. That was the theater department. 246 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,033 They want their punk clothes back. - I have something else on my mind now. 247 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:27,473 Hopefully you can figure this out feet. Turn the pages gently. 248 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,076 The squire doesn't have much text. 249 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,353 If you don't want to play the squire, I'll do it. 250 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,358 I would like some extras for such a character role. 251 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,473 I think I got the tone right have found. 252 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,839 When I'm around you again of my little Nell... 253 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,749 then you get there hard and merciless from along. 254 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:55,235 Now add a parrot and we can reenact 'Treasure Island'. 255 00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,076 I'd like it a bit more aristocratic. 256 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,075 And then something in between. 257 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,158 Where's little Nell? - I'm here. 258 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,915 Mrs Slocombe? - They only hear our voices. 259 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:20,989 I sound precise like a young, innocent girl. 260 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,591 A fine piece of acting. - But I would do it, wouldn't I? 261 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:30,078 You're busty Sal. The barmaid who is in love with Jim. 262 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,592 And Jim, as we'll see later, tries to live beyond his means. 263 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,999 Can we start? It's so break. - Good. First take. 264 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:51,750 Grace Brothers presents today for the first time via the channel: 265 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,953 'The Adventures of Jim.' 266 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:02,272 A lustful young man. We write 1642, the village of Bobington-in-the-March. 267 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,439 Smuggling is the order of the day. The Squire Dunwell... 268 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,438 Played by Steven Peacock. - Also a pastor. 269 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,995 Also played by Steven Peacock. 270 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:18,435 Son of a farrier, engaged to the busty barmaid Sally Sparks. 271 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:25,760 But Jim is in a secret relationship with... Nell, the squire's daughter... 272 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,839 Wait a minute. When do we even start? 273 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,749 If I say so. Now I have to rewind everything again. 274 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,829 How long do we have to wait? - I still have to explain the plot. 275 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,634 Can't you shorten it a bit? 276 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,748 Now let's go back quickly to the English countryside... 277 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,873 where the bad-tempered squire leads the hunt. 278 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,509 Hear, there sounds the hunting horn. The hunt has begun. 279 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,914 Don't fall off, Dad. 280 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,510 Hello, little Nell. Let me hold you in my arms. 281 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,269 What a stunner you have there. 282 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,835 That's what it says. What a stunner you have there. 283 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:23,672 You have turned two pages. He just caught a big pike. 284 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,392 Stop with the coconuts. 285 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:42,672 When I do this it means: Nuts with those nuts. 286 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,839 If I turn it on, you leave it sound slowly fades away. 287 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:59,034 Little Nell, alone at last. Give me a kiss. 288 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,596 But soon someone will see us. 289 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,756 Come on, let's go to the barn. 290 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:09,750 It's so muddy there. My shoes are getting ruined. 291 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,599 I'm carrying you. 292 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,631 A few steps through the mud and we are here, darling. 293 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,680 A few steps. 294 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,349 Be gentle with me. 295 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,269 I'll lay you down here in the hay. 296 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:46,274 Meanwhile, the squire drives very fast chasing a fox. 297 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:52,157 Hallali... Is this my entire text? 298 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,910 You're too busy driving. Hurry, otherwise the fox will escape. 299 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,988 Meanwhile, rolling around in the hay... 300 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,112 When is my turn? 301 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,271 This is where you're supposed to kiss. 302 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,596 Mr. Harman, are you ready? 303 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:28,557 In the meantime we are back the barn, where Jim kisses her tenderly. 304 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,112 That's not the sound we were looking for. 305 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,596 Isn't it better to actually do it? Very close to the microphone. 306 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,428 Only if there really is no other option. 307 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,519 What about this thing? - Great idea. We're going to try. 308 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:01,031 It was a kiss that never ended. 309 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,157 It's like as if he were drooling profusely. 310 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,512 If you're going to interrupt again, give up a sign or something. I keep rewinding. 311 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,429 I wouldn't put up with it if anyone did would kiss me like that. 312 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:25,270 Get your lips close to the microphone and do it your way. 313 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,590 Nell felt passion flare. 314 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:36,510 Finally she was alone with the man she loved. 315 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,915 When can I have it? 316 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:43,439 You are behind the bar and pours a beer for the squire. 317 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,428 He passed by for a moment, after he lost the fox. 318 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,270 Back at the bar again, where the squire stopped for a beer. 319 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:58,998 He looks admiringly at the busty Sally as she bends over. 320 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,473 Hallali... 321 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:08,477 That's not your text. - Completely forgot. 322 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,513 You are no longer on your horse. 323 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:16,032 Good thing I'm so fast, otherwise there would be a lot of mounting to be done. 324 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:22,511 Good. Special effects. Pouring a beer. 325 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,236 You must be longing for that, squire. 326 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,233 That's right. 327 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,432 Can you please pour a little less? 328 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,995 Ready for the beer? Action. 329 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,712 I didn't order a bucket of beer, did I? 330 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,430 Those are the special effects. 331 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,110 I have to go to the toilet. 332 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,357 Not until we do it all again have done. 333 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,677 What do you mean, again? - I had to keep rewinding it. 334 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,078 This is a recording, right? - We're going to broadcast this. 335 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,350 But the line is already open. 336 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:29,918 Do you mean everything has been broadcast? - So far. Anyway, I'm on a break now. 337 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,598 The Association of Concerned Parents just called. 338 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:38,749 Mr Humphries, you are responsible. - I didn't know it was being broadcast. 339 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:44,717 The street is full of trucks and the drivers fight to get in. 340 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,629 What should we do? - Leave it to us. 341 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,430 Mr Grace on the line. 342 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,520 I don't know where to start... 343 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,597 You can't wait for episode two. 344 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:06,238 It was risky, but my idea seems like it to have borne fruit after all. 345 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:13,240 Mr Grace is not dissatisfied, but has haven't seen the new customers yet. 346 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,752 I don't help clumsy truckers. - They're breaking things down. 347 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,555 Someone has to do it. Be true Mrs Slocombe and Mr Humphries? 348 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:30,430 Big Betty and Little Boy Blue we'll solve it. 349 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,154 Good. There's the women's section. 350 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:37,592 Don't you dare take one step there otherwise you'll go crawling back. 351 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:42,430 That applies to me too. - This isn't what I imagined. 352 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:47,839 You're absolutely right. Come on, let's go to Harrods.