1 00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:07,250 I got a little card from Marcy. She's having a great time in Hawaii. She met a 2 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,250 boy over points. 3 00:00:09,690 --> 00:00:11,190 Mom, you read our mail? 4 00:00:11,730 --> 00:00:14,330 Well, honey, it's just a postcard. It's like skywriting. It's for everybody. 5 00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:19,630 Mom, you're always doing this. Come on, Lisa, this is our stuff. Yeah. 6 00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:23,290 Okay, fine, I'm fine. I just butt out. I'm butting out, butting out. See, my 7 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,290 boat's back. 8 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:30,350 When you get to be our age, one of the most important things in life is 9 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:33,070 I mean, it's all we have. Yeah, I mean, think about it. 10 00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:37,010 We can't vote and we don't own real estate. We can't even get our ears 11 00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,010 without a signature. 12 00:00:38,630 --> 00:00:41,350 So all we can hope for is a little piece of privacy. 13 00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:43,390 Not that we have anything to hide. 14 00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:47,490 You guys, maybe we shouldn't be doing this. 15 00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:48,449 Chill, dear. 16 00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:49,910 You always worry so much. 17 00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:51,730 Ah, first cigarette of the day. 18 00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:53,790 Whoa! 19 00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:56,650 Here, you need a light. 20 00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:12,530 things to talk about. 21 00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:16,310 Scott was checking me out today. But detention was... He what? 22 00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:17,888 He's cute. 23 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:22,450 I know, he is too fine to define. I know, he's got a baby face, but he is 24 00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:24,470 dangerous. I know, that's what's so hot about him. 25 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:25,728 Uh -huh. 26 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,470 Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. 27 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,970 Uh -huh. That's Morse code for our parents at home. 28 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,610 Well, don't feel a bad way. They just don't want to talk in front of you. 29 00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:35,450 Yeah, they're both here. 30 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,690 We gotta go. I can't really talk. 31 00:02:43,690 --> 00:02:44,890 more details. My head is spinning. 32 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,230 Don't you think your girls are spending too much time on the phone? 33 00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:52,590 You know, Dad, you're right. We shouldn't be tying up the line. 34 00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:53,870 Well, that's right. 35 00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:56,910 Well, maybe it would be better if you got your own line. 36 00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:02,550 I got my own line. You get your own line. 37 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,900 When no salesman see young naive girls like you, you're going to be like sharks 38 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:51,900 in a feeding frenzy. 39 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,760 Like a lion stalking his prey. 40 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,140 Like Lisa circling fresh baked goods. 41 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,180 Just can't let that Beamer thing go, can you, Ray? 42 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,260 All I'm saying is, listen to that little alarm clock that goes off in your head. 43 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,620 The one that says, walk away, walk away. 44 00:04:17,969 --> 00:04:21,130 Okay, walk away, Ray. So what happened to the little alarm clock? 45 00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:23,770 Um, I bought one. 46 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:30,090 Well, we got our own phone. A major step towards privacy. 47 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:33,750 Yep, and we had to find the perfect message. Something that said we were 48 00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:36,030 We were happening. We were not home. 49 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,880 like Tia. We're not homes to leave a message -ia. 50 00:04:58,880 --> 00:04:59,880 Message -ia? 51 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,700 This is for stuff. 52 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,940 Twins like a box of chocolate. 53 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,160 You never know which one you're going to get. 54 00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:09,920 So please leave a message. 55 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:12,980 Huh? Huh? 56 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,480 Stupid ears and stupid nose. 57 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,140 Hi, this is the washing machine. 58 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,870 The answering machine can't answer the phone. right now. 59 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,720 about, do you? 60 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,460 Well, you see, my skills lie more in the management area. 61 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:05,540 What does that mean? 62 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,220 It means I'll give you $5 an hour. 63 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,200 And I promise to have the twins having a marriage? 64 00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:10,620 Forget it. How about a foot? 65 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,400 Roger. 66 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,280 Well, I need to hook up your satellite cable on the roof. Wait a minute. 67 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000 Isn't that kind of dangerous? 68 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:21,720 You know, Mr. Campbell, I haven't told a lot of people this, but my nickname is 69 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:22,720 Spider -Man. 70 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,220 That's funny. I thought it was Spider -Head. 71 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,760 It's now six. Six dollars an hour. 72 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,720 Oh, hey, Ray. Have you seen the girls? 73 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,120 I was going to ask you the same thing. 74 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,040 I called, but all I got was their machine. 75 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,100 Like they're never around anymore. 76 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,980 Remember when they needed us for everything? 77 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,500 Oh, yeah. 78 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,720 When Tia was little, she used to run to me with every kind of thing up her nose. 79 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,420 Buttons, lima beans, Barbie doll shoes. 80 00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,600 She was a busy little girl. 81 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,820 One time she even got an apple seed stuck up there. 82 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,240 She was crying because she thought an apple tree was going to grow out of her 83 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:12,240 head. 84 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:16,380 Boy, I tell you, Ray, I'd give anything if she ran in here right now with an 85 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:17,380 apple seed jammed up her nose. 86 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,440 I'm hurting, Lisa. 87 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,440 And after that story, so am I. 88 00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:25,660 The house just feels so empty. 89 00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:27,860 Lisa, you've got to let the girls go. 90 00:07:31,809 --> 00:07:34,430 But I do miss having the kids around. 91 00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:38,930 Good. 92 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,400 to let us use her car. Well, I was supposed to take my little brother over 93 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,339 soccer practice. 94 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:18,920 Then where is he? In the trunk. 95 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,620 Johnny, will you shut up in there? 96 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:26,560 You guys, I'm getting busy and I feel kind of nauseous. Great. 97 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,300 That means that you're doing it right. 98 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,080 Hey, look, there's a car full of guys over there. 99 00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:32,820 No, no, no, don't look. 100 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,780 They're looking at us. 101 00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:39,200 Oh my gosh, okay, guys, we're going to roll down our windows and act very, very 102 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,559 cool. And Denise, do the best you can. 103 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,040 One, two. 104 00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:26,270 Not conducive to good parenting. 105 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:33,690 Listen, girl, whatever they do in the dark has got to come out in the light. 106 00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:34,690 I lying? 107 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:40,950 Lisa, remember when you were their age and your mother spied on you? 108 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,530 Yeah, that was bad. 109 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,830 Remember what you were doing to make your mom... 110 00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:27,219 We got trouble. 111 00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,440 Tia and Tamara are smoking. 112 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,760 Our kids? 113 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,080 No, Ray, Bebe's kids. 114 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,060 I heard it on their phone machine. I got it all on tape. 115 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,040 What do you say we go bust them? No, no, no, no, we can't. Then they'll know we 116 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,140 were sneaking around in their room. 117 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,420 We? 118 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:44,160 I told you, Ray, you didn't run to the cops, so that makes you more guilty than 119 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,160 me. 120 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,460 Well, what do you want me to do? Just stand here while they go out and just 121 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:51,100 poison their lungs? No, no, but they can't find out what I did. It was 122 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,800 dishonorable. It was deceitful. 123 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,520 Well, what do you want to do, Lisa? 124 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:56,020 Trick them into a confession. 125 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,400 That's them. 126 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,520 Hi. 127 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,220 Lisa. 128 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,040 Oh, oh, oh, yeah. 129 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,240 Oh, hi, girls. 130 00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:14,900 How was your day? 131 00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:16,380 Fine. Good? 132 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:20,420 Oh, mine was lousy. My car broke down. It was smoking. 133 00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:26,040 Yeah. Maybe you need a new filter. 134 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:29,940 Yeah, maybe. 135 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:37,740 Well, I better get my butt moving and get started on dinner. We're having a 136 00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:39,260 smoked salmon. 137 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,660 Mom, I don't think you're going to want to hear this. 138 00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:48,100 Oh, honey, I'm open to anything you want to tell me. 139 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,840 A starving polar bear wouldn't eat your salmon. 140 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,000 And she likes it more than I do. 141 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,000 You know, I'm going bowling tonight. 142 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,040 Maybe I'll hit a lucky strike. 143 00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:10,280 I've been waiting my entire life to be at school. 144 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:15,540 You guys, I hate to be the one to say this, but isn't this getting kind of 145 00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:16,540 gross? 146 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,200 Look, I know you guys are going to rag on me, but I've got to be honest. 147 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,440 We stink. 148 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,220 I'm not the only one who feels this way. 149 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:32,560 You know, my clothes do reap. 150 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,920 My hair does, too. 151 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,920 Yeah, and when my boyfriend kisses me, it's like he's licking an ashtray. 152 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,420 You don't have a boyfriend. 153 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:43,760 I'm thinking ahead. 154 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:45,860 It's fun. 155 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,360 We're having fun here. 156 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,780 Do you know what causes cancer, emphysema, heart disease, and wrinkles? 157 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,820 Wrinkles? 158 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,200 Now, get this. 159 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:01,900 Me too. 160 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:05,800 I have been waiting my whole life to be this mature. 161 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,340 You know, guys, I feel good. I feel responsible. 162 00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:13,140 So, what are we going to do now? 163 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,560 Let's go find those guys from Mundo. 164 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,579 Come on, Ray. 165 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:37,580 Come on. 166 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,480 Lisa, this is like sneaking into somebody's room. 167 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,280 Good, Ray. 168 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,520 This is hard evidence. 169 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:47,600 Stinky shirt, cigarette or two, we're home free. 170 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,360 Why don't you just tell them you listened to their machine? 171 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,740 I can't do that, Ray. They never trust me again. 172 00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,220 Lisa, I'm not going to be a party to this. 173 00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:58,500 Ooh, a diary. 174 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:08,220 Welcome to the dark side, Ray. 175 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,320 Geometry 101. 176 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,300 Some pretty hot triangles in there, Ray. 177 00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:17,640 Can we just hurry this up? Okay, well, you check the vanity. I'll check the 178 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,640 desk. 179 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,360 So you got your lipstick, your eyeliner, your mascara, your powder. 180 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,800 What do our girls really look like? 181 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,360 Come on now, Ray. We got to get going. 182 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:32,579 Uh -oh. 183 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,559 Where's the girls? 184 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,560 Oh, wow! 185 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,520 They're coming up the stairs. 186 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,180 Run. 187 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,000 Look at this room. 188 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,260 Yeah. Who cleaned it up? 189 00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:52,540 They're not leaving. 190 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,640 Therefore, we're not leaving. Therefore, I hate you. 191 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,140 Okay, admittedly, Ray, we're in a bind. 192 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,500 A bind? 193 00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:05,680 This is the most embarrassing situation I have ever been in in my entire life. 194 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,099 Ray, I think you're selling yourself short. 195 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:23,119 There's something we have to confess. 196 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:24,079 Say it. 197 00:17:24,079 --> 00:17:25,079 We're in love. 198 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,680 What? What? 199 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,220 Excuse me. 200 00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:31,500 What are you guys doing in our closet? 201 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:35,640 There's a perfectly logical explanation for this. Yeah, you guys are spying on 202 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,220 us. Let's not get emotional. 203 00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:39,800 Let's talk calmly and rationally. 204 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,860 I'm your mama. Are you trying to break my heart? How could you smoke? 205 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,180 Didn't we teach you anything? 206 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,240 Do you know about the smoking? 207 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,140 I wasn't born yesterday, you know. 208 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,360 I'll say. 209 00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:55,390 Well, you see, T and I, we... Wait a minute. How could you guys spy on us? 210 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,750 We weren't spying. We were just watching you very, very closely from the closet. 211 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:03,230 We're going to Sarah's. Oh, no, you're not. Oh, yes, we are. 212 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,510 Oh, no, you're not. 213 00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,110 Oh, yes, we are. 214 00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:09,870 Oh, no, you're not. Fine, we're going to Denise's. Oh, no, you're not. Oh, yes, 215 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:12,810 we are. As long as you live under my roof, you live under my roof. 216 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:14,410 Actually, it's my roof. 217 00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:16,490 As long as you live under Ray's roof, you live under my... 218 00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:22,770 is better than staying here. 219 00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:24,850 I've got twin beds. 220 00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,250 We're going to our room. 221 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:29,390 Oh, no, you're not. Wait, wait. 222 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:30,630 We won this one. 223 00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:55,990 up there, Ray. 224 00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:57,710 They won't answer the door. 225 00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:01,050 They won't eat my chicken, my meatloaf, my peach cobbler. 226 00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,410 Lisa, those plates are almost empty. 227 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,430 Yeah, well, the girl burns a lot of calories running up and down them 228 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,530 Well, the children of the corn are back. 229 00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:17,270 You know, there's something wrong with my tweeter. 230 00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:21,210 Ray, our family is disintegrating, and you're worried about your stupid 231 00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:22,210 tweeters? 232 00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:24,170 Well, Lisa, there's something I can fix. 233 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,300 It was all right till Roger started messing with the speaker wires back 234 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 Whoa. 235 00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:32,700 Uh -oh. 236 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,500 Girls, girls, you all right? 237 00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,320 Just say something. 238 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,360 You shouldn't have gone into our room. 239 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:41,620 Say something else. 240 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:45,200 Well, you shouldn't have been smoking. 241 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,780 And it's not the kind of conversation I want to have in the dark. 242 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,380 Ray, they got lighters. They're professionals. 243 00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:56,280 Shoot! Dang, it's hot! 244 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,420 I guess they're not professionals. 245 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,760 Now, look, girls, I just don't want you to mess up your life. 246 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:03,839 Ow, ow! 247 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,120 Lisa, please stop gesturing. 248 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:08,400 Mom, this is our life. 249 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,240 I want to be a part of it, okay? 250 00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,680 I was there when you were growing fruit out your nose. 251 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,780 Mom, I'm really sorry about this. 252 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,140 You know, we quit smoking on our own. 253 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,800 You did? 254 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,290 That makes me so happy. 255 00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:28,590 Mom, where are you? Dad, I'm over here. 256 00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:30,310 Ray, watch out for that. Ow! 257 00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:31,810 Table. 258 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:34,870 What is this I'm holding on to? Ray, that is not my elbow. 259 00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,210 Ah. 260 00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:38,670 Well, we're all here. 261 00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:46,450 You know, some things look better in the dark. 262 00:20:49,530 --> 00:20:50,530 Roger!