1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:37,103 - Is she asleep? - Nearly. 2 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:47,380 You ready? Alfonso's waiting downstairs. 3 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,416 I'll be back in a couple of hours. 4 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,685 Go, don't worry. 5 00:00:53,152 --> 00:00:55,455 - It's absolutely fine. - Thanks. 6 00:00:56,422 --> 00:00:58,992 I'm scared something might happen to Mamma. 7 00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:01,861 I don't want her to be alone if anything happens. 8 00:01:03,429 --> 00:01:04,931 Go. 9 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,065 Yeah. 10 00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:33,059 Marisa was always free to cheat on me if she wanted. 11 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,399 I gave her kids a name. 12 00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:42,368 But she's mad at me anyway. 13 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,103 We'll never get there. 14 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,005 She spat in my face a bunch of times. 15 00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:50,510 She says I deceived her. 16 00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:53,813 And did you deceive her? 17 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,915 How could I ever? 18 00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:01,621 You're an intelligent person, an intellectual, you get it. 19 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,125 I was deceived the most. 20 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,729 Deceived by myself. 21 00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,101 - Asshole, you fuckin' blind? - Fuck you! 22 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,169 Your mother's a whore! 23 00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:18,671 Jackass. 24 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,411 And if Lila hadn't helped me... 25 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,982 I would have died cheated. 26 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:35,755 The finest thing she did was to impose clarity on me. 27 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,726 She taught me to realize 28 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,061 that if I touch a woman's bare foot, 29 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,399 I feel nothing... 30 00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:52,205 But I'm swooning with desire to touch a man's foot. 31 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,042 And caress his hands, 32 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,812 cut his nails with scissors, 33 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,216 squeeze his blackheads. 34 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:18,631 Remember when we were little? 35 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:23,670 You and Lila came to ask my father to give back your dolls. 36 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,072 Who could forget? 37 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,876 D'you remember he called me 38 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,213 and asked, teasing me, 39 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,683 "Alfonso did you take them?" 40 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,752 And everyone laughed. 41 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:45,058 I was the shame of my family, 42 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,827 I played with my sister's dolls and put on Mamma's necklaces. 43 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:54,000 As a kid I already knew I wasn't what others thought, 44 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,136 or even what I thought I was. 45 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,006 "I'm something else," I said. 46 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:04,911 A nameless thing crouched deep in my veins, waiting. 47 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,688 I didn't know what it was, 48 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,924 until Lila forced me to... 49 00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:21,928 I don't know how to explain it. 50 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,132 To take a little bit of her. 51 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,213 My little lamb 52 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,449 What did you do 53 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:50,156 When you ended up in the wolf's mouth? 54 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,137 We blended ourselves, 55 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:08,007 and now I'm not what I used to be. 56 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,743 I'm not Lila either. 57 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,148 I'm another thing, 58 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,017 that is gradually taking form. 59 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,141 Hi, Marcello. 60 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,410 Hi, Lenù. 61 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:49,048 - Hi, Marcello. - Your mother's better today. 62 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:50,850 Good. 63 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,797 He thinks Michele's gone crazy because of me. 64 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,802 Lila encouraged me to be like her. 65 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,972 She likes to see how I distort her 66 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,844 and she likes the effect this distortion has on Michele. 67 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,714 And I like it too. 68 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:23,683 That's the truth. 69 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,628 If I get killed, remember, it was Marcello. 70 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,498 What are you saying? 71 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,682 - Basic Sight. - Ada, put Enzo on. 72 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:33,419 He's out on an errand. Then he's coming to get you. 73 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,388 Tell him I'm going into labor. 74 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,611 What's going on? 75 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:01,714 The baby's in her cradle. Take care of her. 76 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,551 - I gotta run. - Do you want to come in? 77 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,553 I gotta go or I won't make it. 78 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,157 - The baby! - I'll see to her, don't worry. 79 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,153 Help me! 80 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,056 Help! 81 00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:48,861 Help me, I'm in labor. 82 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,165 My God! Get in, quick. 83 00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,068 I'll take you to the hospital. 84 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:57,770 Lila! 85 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,674 Is he your husband? 86 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,477 What happened? 87 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,014 Let's hurry, this is it. 88 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,083 Really? This is it? 89 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,923 Don't hold back, push! 90 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,461 Get it out of me! 91 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,997 Cut open my belly, bitch! 92 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,633 - Come on, push. - Cut open my belly! 93 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,735 Come on! 94 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,937 I can't do it! 95 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,509 Come on! 96 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,581 Don't hold back. 97 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,516 The fuck you on about! 98 00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:52,158 Fucking cow, get this baby out of my belly! 99 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,626 You turd! 100 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:57,030 You're killing me! 101 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,300 Help me! 102 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:27,994 It's a girl. 103 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,700 It's a girl. 104 00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:56,649 It's not true you only suffer with the first child 105 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,551 and after that it gets easier. 106 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,087 You suffer each time, Lenù. 107 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,958 Your body becomes its own enemy 108 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,694 and inflicts the most atrocious pain on itself. 109 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,429 You're exaggerating. 110 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,863 I'm exaggerating? 111 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,434 You're such a liar. 112 00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:17,470 What beautiful experience? 113 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,477 I swear I'll never get pregnant again. 114 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,455 She's beautiful. 115 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,397 You know you named her after my doll? 116 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,904 Which doll? 117 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,206 Tina. 118 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,975 Remember? Nunziatina. 119 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,046 It's true. 120 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,483 I didn't do it on purpose. 121 00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:06,352 She was a beautiful doll. 122 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:09,789 I was so attached to her. 123 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,058 My daughter's more beautiful. 124 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,456 Hi, how are you? Did you come to visit your friend? 125 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,058 Yes. 126 00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,759 I found her exhausted. 127 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:51,965 If you care about her, help her focus on something good, 128 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,000 or with that dancing brain of hers 129 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,369 she'll get herself and those around her in trouble. 130 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,671 Why do you say that? 131 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:02,041 Her delivery was different from yours. 132 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,278 In the delivery room I saw a fight against nature, 133 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,981 a horrible clash between a mother and her child. 134 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,184 A truly unpleasant experience. 135 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,488 It's unpleasant to hear you say these things. 136 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:36,075 The babies became an excuse to be together more. 137 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,013 Lila and I spoke on the phone, 138 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:43,082 we met up to take our two babies out, 139 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:47,086 we spoke endlessly, no longer about us, but about them. 140 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,489 Or at least so it seemed. 141 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:57,063 A new richness and complexity in our relationship began to emerge 142 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,533 through a mutual attention to our two daughters. 143 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:06,439 And this gave me relief from worrying about my mother. 144 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,846 Is it true Lila offered you a job? 145 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,985 I'm not sure I would call it a job... 146 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,688 She wants us to work for a client of hers in Baiano. 147 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:23,656 And you? 148 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,127 What are we gonna do in Baiano? 149 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,500 You pieces of shit! What you gonna do in Baiano? 150 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,069 Shut up, Lenù. 151 00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:37,704 Don't be like this. 152 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,974 That poor woman is doing it out of pity for me 153 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,877 and out of friendship for your sister. 154 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:49,015 She knows you don't deserve anything! 155 00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:51,985 Calm down, it's not good for you... 156 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,087 - Shut up, asshole! - Mamma. 157 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:59,058 I know what you two deserve, 158 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,394 to stay where you are, 159 00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,430 to live in the filth you live in. 160 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,798 No, Mamma. 161 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,006 Why are you crying? 162 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,175 Because I'm sorry. 163 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,912 Don't treat us like this. 164 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,748 Why, do you love me? 165 00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:24,584 Of course, what kind of question is that? 166 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,720 Well, if you do love me, 167 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,957 you gotta let me die with my heart at peace. 168 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,663 Yes, Mamma. 169 00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,433 Go to Lila today, 170 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:44,404 tell her the job's perfect, thank her... 171 00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:50,577 Tell her you accept with pleasure. 172 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,213 Is that clear? 173 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,515 Yes, Mamma. 174 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,852 I didn't hear you, Peppino. 175 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,159 All right, Mamma. 176 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,563 And you know you can't fool me. 177 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,533 Lila tells me everything. 178 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,136 You gotta do it now. 179 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,046 Now send in Marcello. 180 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,827 I love you, Ma. 181 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,444 Bye, Ma. 182 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,103 You mustn't get worked up like this. 183 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,041 How can I not? 184 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,909 It's bad for you. 185 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,113 I wanna talk to Marcello. 186 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,616 He's coming. 187 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,005 Imma... 188 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,978 Mamma. 189 00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,016 Do you need anything? 190 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,754 For you to marry my daughter. 191 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,058 I mean it. 192 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,326 I know. 193 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,530 The only reason we haven't gotten married yet 194 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,933 is because we're waiting for you to recover. 195 00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,438 And seeing as you're better now, 196 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,108 yesterday we decided to do the paperwork. 197 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:47,387 Then, do the paperwork and get married as soon as possible. 198 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,788 Yes, Mamma. 199 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,959 You want to save Peppe and Gianni 200 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,296 and you marry your daughter to Marcello? 201 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,797 Be quiet. 202 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,822 Mom, the girls want to see you. 203 00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,924 The girls are here. 204 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,727 Go on, don't be scared. 205 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,831 Come. 206 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,734 Come. 207 00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,893 Sit down. 208 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,763 Gently, Dede. 209 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,666 Come to Grandma. 210 00:21:15,909 --> 00:21:17,944 Now I'm content. 211 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:19,946 Truly. 212 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:27,153 You're the only one left I'm worried about. 213 00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:32,792 But you are you, 214 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:37,263 you've always fixed things the way you want. 215 00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:41,067 So I'll have to trust you. 216 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:53,479 What do you want me to make now that I'm coming home? 217 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:55,348 French fries. 218 00:21:56,049 --> 00:21:57,984 - For you too? - Yes. 219 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,621 Doesn't Mamma know how to make them? 220 00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,961 Doesn't she know how to make them? 221 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,900 Just then, for the first time, I felt the impact of time, 222 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:17,770 the force that was pushing me towards forty, 223 00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:21,074 the speed at which life was consumed, 224 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,544 the concreteness of exposure to death. 225 00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:28,748 If it's happening to her, I thought, there's no escape, 226 00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:30,550 it will happen to me too. 227 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:31,538 I struggled to accept my mother's death. 228 00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:40,547 Even though I didn't shed a tear, my grief lasted a long time. 229 00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:48,321 And, perhaps, it has never truly gone away. 230 00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:42,041 My condolences. 231 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,212 I'm sorry, 232 00:26:20,213 --> 00:26:21,848 but this is what we are: 233 00:26:22,015 --> 00:26:24,851 neighborhood people who are born and die. 234 00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:27,954 We can't fool ourselves we'll become who knows what. 235 00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,891 That goes for you and your friend too. 236 00:26:37,797 --> 00:26:39,198 I'm sorry. 237 00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:46,573 In the following days, I felt how you do when there's a sudden downpour, 238 00:26:46,639 --> 00:26:50,577 you look around and you can't find a place to take shelter. 239 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:55,415 For weeks I saw her and heard her everywhere, 240 00:26:55,481 --> 00:26:57,550 night and day. 241 00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:01,054 She was a flame that, in my imagination, 242 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:03,523 continued to burn without a wick. 243 00:27:05,592 --> 00:27:07,493 When did you arrive? 244 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,128 The other day. 245 00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:11,097 Where are you staying? 246 00:27:11,664 --> 00:27:13,833 At the Jolly Hotel. 247 00:27:24,410 --> 00:27:26,446 Almost a year had passed, 248 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,682 but my mother kept shaking me, 249 00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:31,985 as if she wanted to take over my body, 250 00:27:32,452 --> 00:27:35,121 leaving inside me the signs of her limp. 251 00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,523 Sweetheart. 252 00:27:38,691 --> 00:27:40,827 What are you doing awake? 253 00:27:56,943 --> 00:27:58,578 Dede, Elsa, there's dessert. 254 00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,947 - What dessert did you make? - Baba. 255 00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:04,183 - With rum in it? - A tiny bit. 256 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:12,959 There you go. 257 00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:23,436 Thank you. 258 00:28:23,870 --> 00:28:26,940 She doesn't have to follow you at all costs... 259 00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:29,909 I'd gladly have done without her too, 260 00:28:29,976 --> 00:28:34,914 but there's not even one author who has met their deadline. 261 00:28:35,315 --> 00:28:36,416 You see... 262 00:28:36,482 --> 00:28:37,617 Thank you. 263 00:28:37,684 --> 00:28:42,355 I've written two thirds of the book and I have notes for the rest. 264 00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:45,191 I'll complete it in no time. 265 00:28:45,258 --> 00:28:48,461 Whenever you like, I'll send it to you. It's not a threat. 266 00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,331 All right. 267 00:28:51,965 --> 00:28:55,468 An important publisher like you, can't not deal with FIAT. 268 00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,838 I'm saying this regardless of my book. 269 00:29:00,173 --> 00:29:04,577 It occurred to me that the robotization of FIAT 270 00:29:04,644 --> 00:29:08,615 is a perfect synecdoche for the working world. 271 00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:10,583 In fact, for the world. 272 00:29:10,783 --> 00:29:15,054 But the Left is convinced that capitalism is at a standstill, 273 00:29:15,388 --> 00:29:17,457 but instead it has moved. 274 00:29:18,324 --> 00:29:22,996 But we use outdated formulas that don't grasp the change. 275 00:29:23,062 --> 00:29:26,499 Instead we must study, remove our blinders. 276 00:29:26,566 --> 00:29:28,835 - Do you like it? - It's very good. 277 00:29:29,202 --> 00:29:31,938 - What did you study? - I'm a biologist. 278 00:29:33,373 --> 00:29:36,142 Thank God, a scientist! 279 00:29:36,209 --> 00:29:37,410 See? 280 00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:41,080 Marx was a scientist. 281 00:29:41,481 --> 00:29:46,085 But today, he'd roll up his sleeves 282 00:29:46,386 --> 00:29:50,123 and collect data, reformulate hypotheses, 283 00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,659 and he'd declare himself a non-Marxist. 284 00:29:52,725 --> 00:29:55,028 And if that's not a paradox... 285 00:29:55,094 --> 00:29:58,665 When the formulas are worn out, you need the courage to put them aside. 286 00:29:58,731 --> 00:30:02,535 The Left knows it, but doesn't have the nerve to say so 287 00:30:02,602 --> 00:30:04,337 because it's locked up in its enclosure. 288 00:30:04,571 --> 00:30:08,808 We need to come out of these enclosures, get fresh air. 289 00:30:09,142 --> 00:30:12,712 We need to have the courage to enter parties, banks, 290 00:30:12,879 --> 00:30:16,783 television, the so-called halls of power. 291 00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:21,654 We need to enter them, disassemble them and restyle them. 292 00:30:22,455 --> 00:30:25,725 My book isn't about redecorating, 293 00:30:25,792 --> 00:30:27,894 but rather about work, I assure you. 294 00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:31,864 It's interesting, perhaps we can discuss it later. 295 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,568 And you? 296 00:30:37,704 --> 00:30:38,938 Me? 297 00:30:39,305 --> 00:30:40,907 I wanted to have a chat with you. 298 00:30:43,743 --> 00:30:45,612 About what? 299 00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:50,383 Can I schedule the release of your book for the fall? 300 00:30:51,184 --> 00:30:52,385 This fall? 301 00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:54,921 Fall 1982? 302 00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:57,657 Fall 1982, of course. 303 00:30:59,726 --> 00:31:03,062 Maybe, I'll know better in a while. 304 00:31:03,129 --> 00:31:04,864 You have to know now. 305 00:31:06,633 --> 00:31:10,203 - I don't feel ready. - Until now you've been very lucky. 306 00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:13,773 Your last book did very well, you're respected, 307 00:31:14,007 --> 00:31:16,175 you've gained many readers. 308 00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:19,412 But readers have to be cultivated, because if you lose them, 309 00:31:20,079 --> 00:31:22,148 you lose the chance to publish other books. 310 00:31:22,482 --> 00:31:24,817 Have you read that article about the new writers? 311 00:31:25,518 --> 00:31:27,520 "Elena Greco is a meteor." 312 00:31:27,587 --> 00:31:29,822 They write whatever they feel like. 313 00:31:29,889 --> 00:31:31,791 Yet they wrote it. 314 00:31:31,858 --> 00:31:34,494 It's Adele's suggestion, as we both know. 315 00:31:36,529 --> 00:31:38,865 Don't you want to prove everyone wrong? 316 00:31:40,833 --> 00:31:42,335 Nino, are you a slow writer too? 317 00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:45,438 I'm very chaotic. 318 00:31:45,705 --> 00:31:49,609 I work on more than one project at once, so... 319 00:31:51,144 --> 00:31:54,113 If you ask me for a book in October, you get it in October. 320 00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:57,150 But as you can see, this isn't necessarily a virtue. 321 00:31:57,350 --> 00:32:00,687 The truth is that it's not a good moment for essays. 322 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:09,963 - Are you tired? We'd better go. - Yes, yes. 323 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:11,497 Thank you. 324 00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:13,399 All right. 325 00:32:15,201 --> 00:32:19,405 Yes, I'll give you my book in time to publish it in the fall. 326 00:32:21,407 --> 00:32:23,409 At last some good news. 327 00:32:23,476 --> 00:32:24,844 Let's have a toast. 328 00:32:26,279 --> 00:32:27,413 To Elena. 329 00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:28,681 To Elena! 330 00:32:29,916 --> 00:32:31,517 Actually standing up. 331 00:32:48,034 --> 00:32:50,803 It's obvious that Adele is still at war with me. 332 00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:57,710 Now I'm in trouble. 333 00:32:57,777 --> 00:33:00,179 Don't get hung up on the Airotas' plots. 334 00:33:00,313 --> 00:33:01,481 It went well, didn't it? 335 00:33:02,015 --> 00:33:06,185 All you had to do was promise you'd work. He was very pleased. 336 00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:08,087 He calmed right down. 337 00:33:08,154 --> 00:33:10,890 - He did, but I didn't. - Don't tell me... 338 00:33:12,191 --> 00:33:13,192 What do you mean? 339 00:33:14,827 --> 00:33:16,062 Nothing, nothing. 340 00:33:17,730 --> 00:33:20,433 When am I going to write this book? 341 00:33:21,701 --> 00:33:24,771 How will I find the time to focus and commit? 342 00:33:24,837 --> 00:33:26,873 Do you know what my life is like? 343 00:33:27,941 --> 00:33:30,143 Come on, you'll find a way. 344 00:33:33,580 --> 00:33:36,049 My mother fell ill and then died, 345 00:33:36,583 --> 00:33:40,186 I still had to take care of Dede and Elsa, of the house. 346 00:33:40,253 --> 00:33:42,655 And on top of that, my pregnancy, Imma... 347 00:33:42,822 --> 00:33:44,958 None of which you helped me with. 348 00:33:45,258 --> 00:33:47,594 In fact, you take no interest at all. 349 00:33:48,394 --> 00:33:50,897 Me? What are you talking about? 350 00:33:51,197 --> 00:33:55,235 You run from one conference to the next, more often without me. 351 00:33:55,702 --> 00:33:59,973 Am I supposed to give up conferences because you can't travel? 352 00:34:00,173 --> 00:34:02,242 Not to mention the disgust. 353 00:34:03,843 --> 00:34:05,478 Disgust, yes 354 00:34:05,945 --> 00:34:07,680 at sharing you with Eleonora. 355 00:34:07,747 --> 00:34:09,415 Here we go again! 356 00:34:09,916 --> 00:34:12,085 You always drag Eleonora into it. 357 00:34:12,185 --> 00:34:15,588 - Now I'm the one who drags her into it? - Lower your voice. 358 00:34:17,190 --> 00:34:19,893 I'm about to be divorced from Pietro, 359 00:34:19,959 --> 00:34:21,694 just look at where you are. 360 00:34:21,794 --> 00:34:23,830 You haven't even separated from her. 361 00:34:24,697 --> 00:34:27,567 Can I write amid all this tension? 362 00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:29,702 Only you matter. 363 00:34:29,769 --> 00:34:33,973 You must have peace, no problems or, poor thing, you can't work... 364 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:38,745 But we hired Silvana to help you with the girls and the house. 365 00:34:38,912 --> 00:34:41,548 No, Silvana doesn't do homework with the girls, 366 00:34:41,614 --> 00:34:43,583 she doesn't take them out and about. 367 00:34:43,650 --> 00:34:46,419 And above all, she doesn't solve the real issue: 368 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,455 that you've stayed with your wife. 369 00:34:49,522 --> 00:34:52,525 When you're like this, there's no talking to you. 370 00:34:55,061 --> 00:34:56,996 And you're also unjust... 371 00:34:58,498 --> 00:34:59,999 because I love you. 372 00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:04,671 I do what I can. I love you, the girls, 373 00:35:04,737 --> 00:35:06,539 I can't do without Imma. 374 00:35:06,606 --> 00:35:07,874 You love me, yes... 375 00:35:08,808 --> 00:35:11,077 But you don't even care about my work anymore. 376 00:35:11,144 --> 00:35:12,879 What are you talking about? 377 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,350 When you used to come to Florence, you urged me to write, 378 00:35:17,850 --> 00:35:20,787 you stimulated me, you imposed it on me. 379 00:35:21,621 --> 00:35:24,557 Now you don't even know what I want to write, 380 00:35:24,624 --> 00:35:26,626 what's in my head. 381 00:35:26,893 --> 00:35:28,061 Wait a minute... 382 00:35:28,962 --> 00:35:33,266 if you just said you don't know what to write, how should I know? 383 00:35:33,399 --> 00:35:35,001 See what you do... 384 00:35:35,335 --> 00:35:36,569 It's unbelievable. 385 00:36:00,093 --> 00:36:03,730 The words my mother said to me at the end, 386 00:36:03,796 --> 00:36:06,132 stayed with me for a long time. 387 00:36:07,867 --> 00:36:11,738 She died sure that, because of my temperament, 388 00:36:11,804 --> 00:36:14,107 the resources I'd secured, 389 00:36:14,173 --> 00:36:16,943 nothing would ever overwhelm me. 390 00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:20,880 This idea made its way inside me and, in the end, helped me. 391 00:36:21,915 --> 00:36:25,151 I decided to prove her right, 392 00:36:25,218 --> 00:36:27,654 and I began to take care of myself. 393 00:36:27,854 --> 00:36:29,956 I had to think of my future, 394 00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:32,425 fuck grocery shopping and all the rest of it. 395 00:36:34,561 --> 00:36:38,031 My future was to put together a novel in just a few months. 396 00:36:39,766 --> 00:36:42,735 And that novel had to be very good. 397 00:36:42,802 --> 00:36:47,473 Nothing, not even Nino, would prevent me from doing my work well. 398 00:36:56,482 --> 00:36:59,719 Let's be honest, Enrico's very boring. 399 00:37:01,955 --> 00:37:05,692 You were annoyed by what he said about your essay. 400 00:37:05,758 --> 00:37:09,162 - He was a bit offhand. - What do I care? 401 00:37:11,531 --> 00:37:15,501 When it's finished, I'll send it to him. We'll see what he says. 402 00:37:18,304 --> 00:37:20,340 Whereas she, Clara 403 00:37:21,007 --> 00:37:23,076 was more interesting. 404 00:37:23,810 --> 00:37:25,979 She's definitely better than him. 405 00:37:27,180 --> 00:37:28,514 I didn't doubt it. 406 00:37:29,816 --> 00:37:31,150 Why? 407 00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:34,420 Is it possible that stupid women don't exist? 408 00:37:34,654 --> 00:37:36,489 I didn't say that. 409 00:37:37,590 --> 00:37:40,793 But by and large, you're always better than us. 410 00:37:41,361 --> 00:37:43,863 - I'm better than you? - Absolutely yes. 411 00:37:44,898 --> 00:37:47,467 And I've known it for a very long time. 412 00:37:49,536 --> 00:37:51,170 Out of curiosity, 413 00:37:51,237 --> 00:37:53,706 in your life, have you ever met a bitch? 414 00:38:02,315 --> 00:38:03,683 Yes. 415 00:38:04,050 --> 00:38:05,785 Tell me her name. 416 00:38:13,192 --> 00:38:15,628 - Tell me. - No, you'll get mad. 417 00:38:15,695 --> 00:38:16,696 I won't get mad. 418 00:38:19,165 --> 00:38:20,166 Lila. 419 00:38:28,875 --> 00:38:31,444 Hurry up, it's late! 420 00:38:32,378 --> 00:38:33,680 Elsa's slow. 421 00:38:33,746 --> 00:38:36,149 Silvana, dry your hands. Take the baby. 422 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,121 We're out of diapers. 423 00:38:42,455 --> 00:38:44,424 Now I'll go buy them. 424 00:38:44,924 --> 00:38:47,894 Meanwhile, I'll use the cloth like we used to. 425 00:38:48,061 --> 00:38:49,195 Yes, good idea. 426 00:38:50,463 --> 00:38:53,066 Don't let her cry, Nino' sleeping. 427 00:38:53,132 --> 00:38:54,767 - Come on. - Yeah. 428 00:38:55,401 --> 00:38:58,137 I've already made lunch, but wait for me to feed her. 429 00:38:59,572 --> 00:39:01,541 Hang out the laundry. 430 00:39:05,745 --> 00:39:07,013 Be a good girl. 431 00:39:09,782 --> 00:39:14,454 Don't worry, call me if you need anything. 432 00:39:15,054 --> 00:39:17,156 Don't let her sleep all morning. 433 00:39:21,561 --> 00:39:23,029 Go, hurry. 434 00:39:36,876 --> 00:39:39,679 When I come to pick you up, I'll wait for you down there. 435 00:39:39,812 --> 00:39:41,981 - Yes. - You say that every day. 436 00:39:42,448 --> 00:39:43,883 Scatterbrain. 437 00:40:01,801 --> 00:40:04,637 That morning all I could think of was him, 438 00:40:05,805 --> 00:40:08,007 I'd left him sleeping, 439 00:40:08,074 --> 00:40:12,078 but I hoped when he woke up he'd play with Imma, 440 00:40:12,145 --> 00:40:14,480 and not just hand her over to Silvana. 441 00:40:15,848 --> 00:40:18,151 Of course, I wouldn't hold my breath. 442 00:40:18,618 --> 00:40:22,021 Nevertheless I let myself go for a few minutes 443 00:40:22,088 --> 00:40:23,890 to free, unfettered reflection. 444 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:30,597 It seemed the connection I'd established 445 00:40:30,663 --> 00:40:34,868 between my crush on him in the neighborhood and then in high school, 446 00:40:35,435 --> 00:40:37,704 and the passion that overwhelmed me 447 00:40:37,770 --> 00:40:40,640 when he reappeared in the bookstore in Milan, 448 00:40:40,707 --> 00:40:42,609 no longer existed. 449 00:40:48,681 --> 00:40:51,551 Now I thought I could see 450 00:40:51,618 --> 00:40:54,621 the fracture generated by his love for Lila. 451 00:40:56,289 --> 00:40:59,792 That fracture should have erased Nino from my life forever, 452 00:41:01,094 --> 00:41:04,097 but I didn't want to consider it. 453 00:41:04,163 --> 00:41:06,165 I didn't want to see it. 454 00:41:06,232 --> 00:41:09,335 I preferred to forget about that couple 455 00:41:09,669 --> 00:41:12,739 that was born in front of my eyes. 456 00:41:16,175 --> 00:41:18,511 "I could write," I imagined, 457 00:41:18,778 --> 00:41:21,381 "a story where a woman marries the man 458 00:41:21,447 --> 00:41:23,683 she's been in love with since childhood. 459 00:41:24,484 --> 00:41:26,853 But on her wedding night she sees 460 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:30,523 that while a part of his body belongs to her, 461 00:41:30,590 --> 00:41:35,161 the other part is occupied by her childhood friend in miniature, 462 00:41:35,728 --> 00:41:38,064 a lively and imperious little woman." 463 00:41:47,707 --> 00:41:49,409 Fuck, the diapers! 464 00:42:05,124 --> 00:42:07,694 Silvana, I got the diapers. 465 00:44:42,215 --> 00:44:43,783 You've wet yourself. 466 00:45:16,049 --> 00:45:18,051 I couldn't believe it. 467 00:45:18,117 --> 00:45:20,920 Was it possible that the Nino I had discovered 468 00:45:20,987 --> 00:45:24,490 thrusting himself into an older woman, 469 00:45:24,557 --> 00:45:26,993 was the boy from my adolescence? 470 00:45:40,974 --> 00:45:44,644 I felt as if, entering the house, 471 00:45:44,711 --> 00:45:49,082 I'd suddenly found in my bathroom, 472 00:45:50,116 --> 00:45:51,885 an alien. 473 00:45:58,057 --> 00:46:00,526 The stranger had Nino's features 474 00:46:00,793 --> 00:46:02,428 but it wasn't him, 475 00:46:02,929 --> 00:46:04,664 it was the other one. 476 00:46:05,865 --> 00:46:07,934 The one born after Ischia, 477 00:46:08,735 --> 00:46:11,538 the one who'd gotten Silvia pregnant, 478 00:46:11,604 --> 00:46:14,007 he was Mariarosa's lover, 479 00:46:14,073 --> 00:46:15,842 Eleonora's husband. 480 00:46:19,979 --> 00:46:22,115 In reality there was no split 481 00:46:22,448 --> 00:46:24,684 between the man who came after Lila 482 00:46:24,751 --> 00:46:27,554 and the boy who, before Lila, 483 00:46:27,620 --> 00:46:30,056 I had been in love with since childhood. 484 00:46:30,657 --> 00:46:32,692 There was only one Nino. 485 00:46:34,527 --> 00:46:36,129 I'm the one who needs you. 486 00:46:49,042 --> 00:46:51,110 He was what he didn't want to be 487 00:46:51,444 --> 00:46:53,713 and yet what he had always been. 488 00:47:23,176 --> 00:47:24,477 Imma's here! 489 00:47:27,881 --> 00:47:29,983 - Why did you wrap her in your coat? - It's cold. 490 00:47:30,049 --> 00:47:32,685 - She's getting it dirty. - It doesn't matter. 491 00:47:32,752 --> 00:47:36,122 Once I got it dirty and you slapped me. 492 00:47:36,456 --> 00:47:37,957 - That's not true. - It's totally true! 493 00:47:38,024 --> 00:47:39,926 Why isn't she wearing a diaper? 494 00:47:40,994 --> 00:47:42,695 She's fine like this. 495 00:47:42,762 --> 00:47:44,998 - Something happened. - No. 496 00:47:45,064 --> 00:47:47,500 You've never come to pick us up with Imma. 497 00:47:47,567 --> 00:47:50,303 - Today, we'll have lunch with Aunt Lila. - Really? 498 00:47:50,370 --> 00:47:51,671 Yes, get in. 499 00:47:51,938 --> 00:47:53,673 I'll hold Imma. 500 00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:58,211 - It's not fair, you always hold her. - Stop making the usual fuss! 501 00:47:58,778 --> 00:48:00,079 I'll hold her. 502 00:48:00,146 --> 00:48:02,582 - I want to hold her. - Let go of her. 503 00:48:02,649 --> 00:48:04,584 Mamma, why is she holding her? 504 00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:07,420 Don't pull her, you're making her cry! 505 00:48:07,554 --> 00:48:09,289 Fuck off, you hold her! 506 00:48:09,355 --> 00:48:11,558 Who taught you that? 507 00:48:11,891 --> 00:48:14,794 - You hold her, you can get dirty! - Stop it! 508 00:48:16,896 --> 00:48:18,097 Enough! 509 00:48:18,531 --> 00:48:20,066 I said enough! 510 00:48:21,301 --> 00:48:23,536 See? You made her cry. 511 00:48:24,237 --> 00:48:26,105 Now shut up both of you. 512 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,990 - Do you have a diaper? - Of course. 513 00:48:44,757 --> 00:48:45,925 Come in. 514 00:48:46,459 --> 00:48:48,628 Can we stay here for a while? 515 00:48:48,995 --> 00:48:50,630 Tina's in there. 516 00:49:02,542 --> 00:49:03,676 Hi, Tina. 517 00:49:06,846 --> 00:49:07,947 Put this on her. 518 00:49:20,059 --> 00:49:21,327 Something wrong? 519 00:49:22,195 --> 00:49:23,196 Yes. 520 00:49:25,732 --> 00:49:27,100 What happened? 521 00:49:28,468 --> 00:49:30,503 What you predicted. 522 00:49:30,970 --> 00:49:32,839 You fought with Nino? 523 00:49:55,428 --> 00:49:57,997 This morning, something shocking happened. 524 00:50:02,835 --> 00:50:06,206 But it's not just that, if I'm honest. 525 00:50:11,844 --> 00:50:14,781 I found him in the bathroom fucking Silvana. 526 00:50:15,548 --> 00:50:17,550 The lady who helps us out. 527 00:50:19,752 --> 00:50:21,955 Lila, she's old. 528 00:50:23,223 --> 00:50:26,226 She has gray hair, a flabby, fat body. 529 00:50:32,832 --> 00:50:34,968 What I saw was ridiculous. 530 00:50:37,670 --> 00:50:39,906 That asshole woke up, 531 00:50:39,973 --> 00:50:42,575 he found Silvana in the bathroom and before peeing 532 00:50:42,642 --> 00:50:44,744 he lifted her dress and put it inside her! 533 00:50:57,824 --> 00:50:59,659 Did you already know? 534 00:51:04,631 --> 00:51:06,466 Did Nino call you? 535 00:51:09,569 --> 00:51:11,437 Did he call you? 536 00:51:17,944 --> 00:51:19,045 Yes. 537 00:51:19,579 --> 00:51:21,447 What did he tell you? 538 00:51:22,015 --> 00:51:23,850 That it was nothing, 539 00:51:24,884 --> 00:51:28,454 that I have to help you understand that's how we live today. 540 00:51:29,088 --> 00:51:30,523 Just words. 541 00:51:32,759 --> 00:51:33,893 And you? 542 00:51:34,961 --> 00:51:37,163 I hung up on him. 543 00:51:39,265 --> 00:51:40,667 He'll call back. 544 00:51:41,734 --> 00:51:43,703 No way he won't call back. 545 00:51:47,173 --> 00:51:49,676 I don't know how to live without him. 546 00:51:51,211 --> 00:51:53,646 It hardly lasted at all. 547 00:51:54,948 --> 00:51:56,950 I broke off my marriage, 548 00:51:57,150 --> 00:52:00,987 I moved here with the girls, I had another daughter, but why? 549 00:52:01,588 --> 00:52:03,523 Because you made a mistake. 550 00:52:07,327 --> 00:52:09,028 I need to talk to him. 551 00:52:10,096 --> 00:52:12,031 I need to confront him. 552 00:52:13,399 --> 00:52:15,835 Do you really want to stay with him? 553 00:52:15,902 --> 00:52:17,437 What can I do? 554 00:52:18,138 --> 00:52:20,273 The only thing possible: 555 00:52:21,307 --> 00:52:22,609 leave him. 556 00:52:28,948 --> 00:52:32,485 You can't throw yourself away like this. 557 00:52:33,787 --> 00:52:37,757 Your destiny's different, you sweated blood to have it. 558 00:52:38,291 --> 00:52:41,394 If you go on like this, you'll lose yourself. 559 00:52:57,577 --> 00:53:00,547 If you have something to say to me, say it. 560 00:53:14,494 --> 00:53:16,863 Nino came after me a bunch of times. 561 00:53:18,965 --> 00:53:21,968 And a bunch of times he asked me to get back together. 562 00:53:22,902 --> 00:53:25,438 Both before he got together with you 563 00:53:26,039 --> 00:53:27,774 and after. 564 00:53:33,179 --> 00:53:36,282 Remember when we took your mother to the hospital? 565 00:53:38,485 --> 00:53:41,387 That time he was particularly insistent. 566 00:53:43,089 --> 00:53:47,293 And while we waited to talk to the doctors, 567 00:53:50,497 --> 00:53:53,800 he told me he was with you only to be closer to me. 568 00:53:57,804 --> 00:53:59,839 He swore it was true. 569 00:54:06,045 --> 00:54:07,747 Look at me, Lenù. 570 00:54:10,784 --> 00:54:12,318 Look at me. 571 00:54:15,955 --> 00:54:19,092 I'm mean to tell you these things, 572 00:54:19,626 --> 00:54:21,828 but Nino's much worse than I am. 573 00:54:22,362 --> 00:54:26,166 His meanness is worse, it's pure vanity.