1 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,710 Media studies 516. 2 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,911 Professor Kane. 3 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:27,815 Moneyballs, why baseball sucks now. 4 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,050 Jocks play sports and nerds don't. 5 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,225 The one chair. 6 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,193 For this paper, I've assembled the ultimate 7 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,462 "Game of Thrones" fan fiction index. 8 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,332 Reverse ranked by character life expectancy and cra-- 9 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,137 Fox News is terrible. 10 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,472 Here's why it makes money. 11 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,407 The answer may shock you. 12 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,708 When I turn on my TV-- 13 00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,147 Media studies 516. 14 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,082 Professor Marty Kane. 15 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,917 December 12th, midterm. 16 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,353 Sigurd Rossdale. 17 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:08,756 The subject of this paper is, was, 18 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:12,393 to be the chrysalis phase of American pop stars. 19 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:15,229 Wherein high profile performers alter their image, 20 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,930 change their public face, 21 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,233 become a being so diametrically opposed 22 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,501 to who they once were, 23 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,270 that the transformation can only be likened 24 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,637 to a new stage of life. 25 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,575 The more I investigated, however, 26 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:28,842 the more it struck me 27 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,111 that often there is no transition phase. 28 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:34,948 Sometimes people just change, overnight. 29 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,319 So, the author of this paper, 30 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,989 I am not Sigurd Rossdale. 31 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,926 Hereinafter referred to as Shit Heel. 32 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,663 I am Shit Heel's ghost writer. 33 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,499 I'm not a student. 34 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,966 I was. 35 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,569 But then tuition like tripled, my grant got cut. 36 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,039 I chose dropping out over going broke. 37 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,742 So fuck it. 38 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,477 Now this is my life. 39 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,381 I write and sell papers to students. 40 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,320 A lot of students. 41 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,823 Yes, even some from your classes, Professor. 42 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,792 But this story is not about them. 43 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,463 This story is about Shit Heel, 44 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,698 and you're not gonna like it. 45 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:25,699 I should have known better 46 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,568 the second I walked in the door. 47 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,902 He handed me a Red Bull 48 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,805 like I was the one with the bloodshot eyes. 49 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,575 The place reeked of bong water and bullshit. 50 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,944 Wow, are we gonna be longer than I thought? 51 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,679 - Discussion of the subject is important. 52 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,881 - How much floor space does talking take? 53 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,716 - I want this to sound authentic. 54 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,418 - Don't trust me? 55 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,587 - I don't know you. 56 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,022 - Papers you sent me were plenty sample materials. 57 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:49,957 - Don't judge. 58 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,425 See, you're emulating now. 59 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,628 - 10 pages, single spaced, "Simpsons," celebrity cameos. 60 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,930 No, I was making it sound like 61 00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,033 the person who wrote that had a good idea. 62 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,134 - You know, I have a 4.0. 63 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,337 Ow, oh, ow. 64 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,573 - He has a four point? 65 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,341 Got a needle? 66 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,344 - No, I don't sew. 67 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,278 - Of course not. 68 00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,413 You use a needle? 69 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,246 - Works. 70 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:14,915 - Ow. 71 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,420 I might have a safety pin. 72 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,288 - It's a crap class, you know. 73 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,423 - What? 74 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,591 Alt Cinema? 75 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:24,925 - Professor's a wanker, 76 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,061 the topics are pretentious, and so is he. 77 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,230 You know, he doesn't accept papers by email. 78 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,865 - Oh, I know. 79 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,502 - And Alternative Cinema, really? 80 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,703 Alternative to what? 81 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,938 That assumes a norm that cannot be assumed. 82 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,609 - You don't think there's a norm in filmmaking? 83 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,110 Hell no. 84 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,479 Unless you mean contemporary, 85 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,081 American heterosexual filmmaking. 86 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,016 - That's the point. 87 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,418 That is exactly what was meant. 88 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,587 - Is that shit on the end? 89 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,855 - Oh, it's resin. 90 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,123 Here, you want some? 91 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,691 - No. 92 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,560 Some grad student. 93 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,662 Alt Cin is a 200 level. 94 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,597 It's for sophomores and burn outs. 95 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,065 Should you towel the door? 96 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:05,933 No offense. 97 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,504 The pin. 98 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,072 - I did. - No. 99 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,042 It's right here. 100 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,878 - It's filthy. 101 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,712 Hey. 102 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,048 Finger. 103 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,719 - Oh. 104 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,121 Ow. 105 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,757 Fuck it, ow, ow, shit. 106 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,091 - Look, I'm not a surgeon. 107 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,194 You do your finger, and I'll stop the pain. 108 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,631 - I hadn't finished telling you how I want-- 109 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,899 - It's fine. 110 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:42,603 Hidden homo eroticism in mainstream movies, 111 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,604 1980 to present. 112 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,773 - Don't say movies. 113 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,308 - You're one of those film assholes. 114 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,409 You cannot say movies. 115 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,344 You must say film. 116 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,714 Almost be cute if it weren't incorrect. 117 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,348 - Movies is slang for motion picture. 118 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,750 We don't fucking call 'em talkies. 119 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,918 - What if they're shot on HD? 120 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,820 What are they then, film or video? 121 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,388 - The term film has come to mean 122 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,389 to the collective film-- 123 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,624 - That's it's only job. 124 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,925 All movies depict movement, 125 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,727 but not all films are shot on film. 126 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,595 - It implies respect for the subject. 127 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,929 - For the subject? 128 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,498 No, it's personal. 129 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,366 You film students, it'd have to be called video students, 130 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,135 and who wants that? 131 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,904 - My finger really fucking hurts. 132 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,171 - Next time leave the bed where it is. 133 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,106 - Am I paying you? 134 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:19,907 Not yet you haven't. 135 00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,141 - Oh, it's right there. 136 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,075 So listen to me. - On the dresser? 137 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,376 - I have my thesis to work on. 138 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,512 I have no interest in this class. 139 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,445 The Prof is a wanker, 140 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,914 and if it wasn't a requirement, 141 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,315 I would take a dump in his lectern and walk off. 142 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,717 - I'll stop you right there. 143 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:33,020 - But it is a requirement. 144 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,655 And my success, my academic success, 145 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,289 which in turn determines my professional success, 146 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,859 is very, very important to me. 147 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,628 I sleep on alternate Tuesdays. 148 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,962 And here is this class, 149 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,764 these bullshit credits to fulfill, 150 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,265 which do abso-fucking-lutely nothing, 151 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:48,669 so you, this, this is time management. 152 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,804 You are not here because I can not write a paper. 153 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,841 You are not here to Cyrano some fool to glory. 154 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,809 You are here to do my chores. 155 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,044 - Yeah, fine. 156 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,546 - And I want my chores done right. 157 00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,748 - I can't defend what happened next. 158 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:01,982 Have fun, Cinderella. 159 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,216 I don't need this shit. 160 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,519 - It's a bad way to do business. 161 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,420 - I do business with whom I choose. 162 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,257 One thing I'm not is your fucking maid. 163 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,292 I don't do windows, I don't take orders. 164 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,827 And if you have a problem with that, 165 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,463 good luck finding a house keeper who knows Fellini. 166 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,499 So, want to do this or what? 167 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,001 - Yeah, I do. 168 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,536 - Yeah. 169 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:23,370 You do. 170 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,773 No, no, no no no. 171 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,276 I think he's a witch. 172 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,551 I got it all worked out. 173 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,485 - Yeah? 174 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,953 - Title and everything. 175 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,121 - Alright, let's hear it. 176 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,023 - "Last Tango in Cash in Paris," 177 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,825 everything you might have suspected 178 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,193 about the buddy flick, 179 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,396 but were too afraid to ask. 180 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,232 - Wow, that's really good. 181 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,305 Floor or bed? 182 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,139 - Whatever. 183 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:01,675 - Ow, oh. 184 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,278 - Got it. 185 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,749 That was probably a mistake. 186 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,684 A fun mistake. 187 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:11,885 But I was kicking myself 188 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,087 before I even got home. 189 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,022 The last thing you want 190 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,289 is a client like Shit Heel 191 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,759 getting confused about what he bought. 192 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,762 I wrote his paper, hastily, if I'm honest. 193 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,231 Thought that was the last I'd see of him. 194 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,100 But some people have a way of finding you again. 195 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,135 - Hi. 196 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:28,969 Busy? 197 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,638 - I have a meeting. 198 00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,573 You're gonna scare him off. 199 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,609 - Is it business or pleasure? 200 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,912 - Definitely business. 201 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,280 - I got an A in Alt Cinema. 202 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,149 - Knew you would. 203 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,483 - Well, you did. 204 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,653 So please, hats off. 205 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,254 - It's been on cable all month. 206 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,355 Kane's a sucker for puns. 207 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,422 The rest writes itself. 208 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,590 - Oh. 209 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,159 You should charge extra. 210 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,326 - Writing papers? 211 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,327 - Yeah, make it a surcharge. 212 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,262 Why not? 213 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,697 - Some people don't want As. 214 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,898 - Really? 215 00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,566 - Yeah, I mean, they might want 'em, 216 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,302 but some people have never had an A in their lives. 217 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,971 Wouldn't seem like their work. 218 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,338 That's how you get busted. 219 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,273 - Yeah, yeah. 220 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,641 If pride goeth before I fall. 221 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,878 - I'm serious, he won't come if you're here. 222 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,147 - Did you write it for him already? 223 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,115 He'll come. 224 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,918 - Freshman. 225 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:18,852 First time. 226 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:19,953 - Now I see why you're so cocky. 227 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,488 You do frosh papers. - Go away. 228 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,224 - I have a project for you. 229 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,025 - Due when? 230 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,526 I'm busy these days. 231 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,428 - Next week, Tuesday. 232 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,863 - What's the class? 233 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,998 - Politics and Policy. 234 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,366 - I thought you were media studies. 235 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,303 - Well, politics is a media event. 236 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,171 - Such bullshit. 237 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,973 - No, no, policy is shaped by our perception. 238 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,710 Our perception of politicians and their campaigns, 239 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,344 their affairs, how they appear on television, 240 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,612 or HuffPo, or-- - Yeah I get it. 241 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,380 But shouldn't the class be called 242 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,817 Policy and Politics through the media, 243 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,351 or something over-descriptive like that? 244 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,886 - No, no, that would presume 245 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,155 that we're viewing our subject from a tangential position. 246 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,425 Without the media, there is no such thing as politics. 247 00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,827 Null and void. - That's ridiculous. 248 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,561 Process and principles of government. 249 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,430 What they do, simple as that. 250 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,597 - No, leaders who make decisions 251 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,598 without the public's knowledge 252 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,801 is internal affairs, covert ops. 253 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,302 That is not politics. 254 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,738 - You're baiting me. 255 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:11,671 Well if a tree falls in the forest. 256 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,006 - It fucking makes a sound. 257 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,842 That's the stupidest saying ever. 258 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:17,077 - Okay, maybe. 259 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,979 But there's no one around the describe it. 260 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,682 Fuck. 261 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,218 Hey, you don't like me now? 262 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,419 - I never liked you. 263 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,455 - Well you haven't heard my proposal yet. 264 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,024 - Policy, politics, told you, I'm busy. 265 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,659 - What if I booked you 'til the end of the semester? 266 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,361 Wait a second. 267 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,563 All of my classes, everything. 268 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,397 - You can't afford it. 269 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,398 - I'm dead serious. 270 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,332 I could bankroll you exclusively. 271 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,106 - You want me to be your paper slave? 272 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,574 - Ghost writer, thank you. 273 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,742 Come on, you can focus. 274 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,577 No frosh year remedial math. 275 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,779 No switching voices. 276 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,146 It's one family of topics. 277 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,314 - Family isn't right. 278 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,582 - It just makes it easier. 279 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,984 Most of the work is for one professor. 280 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:57,951 - Wanker? - Yes, the very one. 281 00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,587 He does Alt. Cinema 516-- 282 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,855 - 516? 283 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,290 - Yeah, Media Studies 516. - I know. 284 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,425 Isn't that like the foundation of your degree? 285 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,929 - If you want to be technical, yes, it is-- 286 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,798 - You want me to ghost the most important class. 287 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,300 - No, there is nothing important about that class. 288 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,503 After six years, I can tell you, 289 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,238 all I want are the letters after my name. 290 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,807 All the school wants are federally-backed loans. 291 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:20,740 That is a deal we cut. 292 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,175 The only thing I will do in here 293 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,945 that matters out there is my thesis. 294 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,785 - I don't like it. 295 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,354 Why not? 296 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,588 You score grades all the time. 297 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,523 - Not all scores are created equal. 298 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,258 Some are froshy papers. 299 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,192 Cookie cutter stuff. 300 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,861 I can pull one in advance. 301 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,095 I've done from my vault. 302 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,032 - You have a vault? 303 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,967 - Yeah, how do you think I keep up with demand? 304 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,136 I only do original material. 305 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,637 - I kind of thought that was the idea. 306 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,807 - You'd be surprised how many ghosts are still swift. 307 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,075 - But not you. 308 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,476 - Straight lifts from excellent material, 309 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,978 even light lifts can get you flagged 310 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,047 by the grading software. 311 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,882 The only business that matters is repeat business, so yeah. 312 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,117 - Excuse us. - I have a vault. 313 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,220 But that won't work for you. 314 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,156 You need tailors. 315 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,692 Custom designs for your very own special voice. 316 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,528 A whole semester's worth. 317 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,765 Do you get what that entails? 318 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,200 - I will pay you double. 319 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,473 Admit it, you ever try to lift a whole degree before? 320 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,643 - What about the other thing? 321 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,647 - That's your name for it? 322 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,018 - I just want to know what to expect 323 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:41,754 as your paper slave. - No, subcontractor. 324 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,156 - Cyrano. 325 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:43,991 You're Cyrano. 326 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,135 I don't understand this at all. 327 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,905 Thus began a fruitful time. 328 00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,306 A collaborative time. 329 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,841 I cut loose my other clients, 330 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,945 which felt uncomfortably like going steady. 331 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,314 But there just wasn't room for 'em. 332 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,217 For weeks, I was camped out at his apartment, 333 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,886 writing paper after paper. 334 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:17,290 I only came back home for my clothes and birth control. 335 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,392 And when we needed to get out, 336 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,194 we'd go back to campus. 337 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,130 Do the handoff in public. 338 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,831 Like playing spies. 339 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,800 And I had to admit, Sigurd, 340 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,504 Shit Heel was right. 341 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:35,375 Before we met, I'd been spinning my wheels. 342 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,578 Lateral movement may as well be no movement. 343 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,881 For a change, it felt like I was getting somewhere. 344 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,684 "Video Drum," 1983. 345 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,220 James Woods is sucked into an erotically violent TV show 346 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,090 and grows a tape deck in his belly. 347 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,291 X extends-- - It's a vagina. 348 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,726 - A vagina tape deck, yes. 349 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,897 X extends 1999 Jude Law and Jennifer Jason-Leigh 350 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,000 sucked into a violently erotic video game, 351 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,369 and grow plug-in ports in the lower spine. 352 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,603 - Not those, they're their assholes. 353 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,173 - These films were made 16 years apart. 354 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,275 The only difference between them is the technology. 355 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,542 - And the orifice. 356 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,978 - Is it just me or did David Conimer 357 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,246 spend the last 30 years making the same film? 358 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,181 - You really should try this. 359 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,015 Here look. 360 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,051 Alright, suit yourself. 361 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,486 - We get it, I mean, 362 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,188 man has machine, machine is sex, 363 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,390 and everything else is really a bug. 364 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:26,259 - Come on, I'm eating, food. 365 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,361 - This week's paper is on "Video Drum" 366 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,597 and the employment of the sexually grotesque. 367 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,633 - Okay. 368 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,169 - Okay, so next week's paper is on "Dead Ringers" 369 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,171 and the employment of the sexually grotesque. 370 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,506 - Okay. - Okay? 371 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,309 - It's about gynecology. 372 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,743 What do you want? 373 00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,578 - By the time we get past spotter, 374 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,880 I would've written the same thing, like-- 375 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,516 - Okay, this has pineapple in it. 376 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,218 Pineapple is-- - It's not like this 377 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,120 is gonna be interesting. - Nature's sponge. 378 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,654 - I mean the guy invented a forearm that if you just-- 379 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,089 - It tastes like whatever you put it in. 380 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,224 Anything. 381 00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,058 - I thought that was tofu. 382 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:58,992 - No, who eats that? 383 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:01,861 - He doesn't acknowledge prior discussion. 384 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,831 He leaves the biggest questions unasked. 385 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,735 What makes a man dedicate his life to monstrosity? 386 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,371 What, is it the monsters inside his head 387 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,505 he needs to get out? 388 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,008 Or are the nightmares really for us? 389 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,077 Why can't we talk about that? 390 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,046 He asks so little of us. 391 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:21,781 What? 392 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,184 - Us. 393 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,285 You're not taking the class. 394 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,519 He asks so little of me. 395 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,589 Come on. 396 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,423 You love it. 397 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,460 - It's just pineapple. 398 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,294 - Cronenberg. 399 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,896 It's indulgence to spend three grand 400 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,298 or whatever on the seminar. 401 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,666 A purely theoretical discussion 402 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,069 of an eccentric writer-director, 403 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:45,572 who has no bearing on foreign policy 404 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,274 or climate change or the debt. 405 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,210 It's a film asshole thing. 406 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:52,745 And you, 407 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,814 you love it. 408 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,453 - I'm just trying to do my job. 409 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,538 - Hey. 410 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,174 - Yeah? 411 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,242 - Did you try something? 412 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,377 - Yeah, what? 413 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,082 - Don't get freaked out. 414 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,650 Remember you can say no. 415 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,191 - Show me or shut up. 416 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,064 - I have this thing. 417 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:46,833 - What thing? 418 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,076 - It's a dog fibula. 419 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,145 Not too wide. 420 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,190 What if I gently... 421 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,094 - I don't. 422 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,364 - Or you could. 423 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,399 - No. 424 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:21,868 - Okay. 425 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,077 - Is it your dog? 426 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,781 - No, no, that would be weird. 427 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,249 I found it, I was hiking. 428 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,452 Wanted to turn it into a pipe. 429 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,287 It's too thin. 430 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,625 - Have you used it before? 431 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,428 On other women. 432 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:50,430 - No. 433 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:52,532 No. 434 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:54,934 - You're lying. 435 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,071 - Yes. 436 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,142 - Who? 437 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:06,646 - No one important. 438 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,217 - No one? 439 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:12,752 - It's clean. 440 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,258 - It can't be. 441 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,792 It's porous. 442 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,466 It was in an animal. 443 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,270 Then in the ground. 444 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,473 And in women now. 445 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,610 Different women like you were checking their oil. 446 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,780 - This bone is like God's finger. 447 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,616 It can reach where mine can't. 448 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:46,986 It can touch you in places 449 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,221 that will make you speak backward. 450 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:06,005 - You have no idea how violent you are. 451 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,944 - David Cronenberg was certainly 452 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,514 not the first to link intercourse with machinery. 453 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,184 But he sure understood that dance. 454 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,989 He said secretly the edge saw had a vagina in the front. 455 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,426 Of course, everybody said, wait a minute. 456 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,628 Cars have to be cocks. 457 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,029 There's gonna be a disaster. 458 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,433 Maybe women will like it. 459 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,568 - Shit Heel doesn't have a car. 460 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,103 He has, 461 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,671 something else. 462 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:41,308 That is the last time we fuck in your van. 463 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,409 Would you get back here? 464 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,710 - Last time. 465 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,345 You're too ashamed to keep me in your room, 466 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,746 find a hotel room, money bags, 467 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,014 which you will pay for. 468 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,148 I don't care how late your daddy's check came. 469 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,617 - I told you as soon as I get 470 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,784 even a single fucking penny. - Super, I don't care. 471 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,920 Motel 6 infestations, very fat desk, 472 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,589 look, anything but that putrid mother fucking van. 473 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,490 I need air. 474 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,801 Some people had a camp fire here. 475 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,737 They were drinking the same. 476 00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:13,172 - Yeah, you're probably sitting in broken glass. 477 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,074 - No more van, God damn it. 478 00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,008 The van reeks. 479 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,977 - Well whose fault is that? 480 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,145 It reeks of our love. 481 00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,982 - Oh, common cinnamon Christmas trees. 482 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,451 - I could switch to pine, if you like. 483 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,753 - You need a whole pine forest. 484 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,955 Or the yellow kind. 485 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,057 - What do the yellow trees smell like? 486 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:31,891 - Lemon? 487 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,125 - Who cares? 488 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,026 My back is breaking out from new rock. 489 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,328 Prissy. 490 00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,262 - I'm not. 491 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,331 - I like my van the way it is. 492 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,532 - Crawling? 493 00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:41,968 Says the woman ass deep in dirt. 494 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,870 - I'm on a log, thank you. 495 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,237 - Which isn't dirty? 496 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:47,774 - Logs are supposed to have worms in them. 497 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,542 I think most people would agree 498 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,010 that carpets are-- - Most people are prissy. 499 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,211 Most people have a backwards view of what is clean 500 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,179 and what is dirty. - Stop saying that word! 501 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,547 Upholstery causing skin rash, 502 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:55,247 I would consider-- - You don't have a skin rash. 503 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,549 - I do, look. 504 00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:57,350 - Okay. 505 00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:01,388 Well, that's gross. - See? 506 00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:02,622 - No, there's nothing there. 507 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:03,523 I'm kidding, you don't have a rash. 508 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:04,457 - I itch. 509 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,257 - Do you want me to clean it? 510 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:06,192 - Don't touch me. 511 00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,794 - The van. 512 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:08,761 - Do what you want. 513 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,363 - If it bugs you, I'll clean it. 514 00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:13,533 What the fuck? 515 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:14,934 - What are we even doing here, Sigurd? 516 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:16,603 It's a field trip. 517 00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:19,005 - How's your thesis coming along? 518 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,607 Because unless it's about rotting logs, 519 00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:23,242 I think you're wasting your time. 520 00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:25,712 I've been sitting in your apartment for three days now, 521 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,714 and you've been with me the entire time. 522 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,316 - Well we're out here now. 523 00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:34,854 Your notes are in my van. 524 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,155 Fuck my notes! 525 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:39,258 - Vanilla. 526 00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:41,160 Yellow trees are vanilla. 527 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,862 I wanted to set fire to something. 528 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,766 I settled for the next best thing. 529 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,701 Do you recall, Professor, 530 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,970 the feminist-bent Shit Heel took on 531 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,272 in the weeks after Fall break? 532 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,975 On the sidelines, your border-line chauvinist 533 00:22:55,975 --> 00:23:00,212 pupil's sudden advocacy for gender parody on ESPN. 534 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,882 I was sure he'd discover my quiet rebellion 535 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,717 when the grade came back. 536 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:09,188 But instead, he asked me to start doing the drop-offs. 537 00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,256 He didn't have time. 538 00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:12,058 His thesis, you know. 539 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:15,161 It just proved what I'd already come to suspect. 540 00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:17,797 He was no longer reading my work. 541 00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:22,134 So I threw one in for spite. 542 00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:24,537 A fleeing of the usual suspects 543 00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,939 as exclusionary boys club. 544 00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:30,577 He would sooner call "Goodfellas" a little slow. 545 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:32,512 No way he'd let this one slide. 546 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,683 Except he did. 547 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,422 I think Snoopy has a couple of spots. 548 00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:50,663 - Yeah? 549 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:51,498 Hey. 550 00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:55,468 Is it a bad time? 551 00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,671 - No, just finishing dinner. 552 00:23:59,672 --> 00:24:00,607 Okay, sorry. 553 00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,374 I don't want to stand between 554 00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:04,844 you and your pumpkin pies. 555 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:07,747 - It's fine. 556 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,752 So when finals are over, 557 00:24:12,752 --> 00:24:14,253 we should talk about, 558 00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:15,454 or when the break's over, 559 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,423 we should talk about finals. 560 00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,692 - I'm not taking your finals for you, Sigurd. 561 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,294 If you didn't learn what you needed to 562 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:23,763 during the semester. - No I know. 563 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,297 I wasn't expecting you to. - It's not my problem. 564 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:30,670 What are you getting out of this? 565 00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:33,740 Huh? 566 00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:36,576 - I mean, I don't have a contract, you know. 567 00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:38,077 So if you're not into it anymore-- 568 00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,245 There's this weird noise. 569 00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:40,513 Are you doing dishes or something? 570 00:24:40,513 --> 00:24:41,514 When I get-- 571 00:24:41,514 --> 00:24:43,850 - No, I'm just, 572 00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:46,118 I just said I'm not, I don't have a contract. 573 00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:48,187 Go ahead. 574 00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:49,321 I'm asking you over. 575 00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:51,423 - What? 576 00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:52,892 Like a date. 577 00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:54,827 - In your apartment, again. 578 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:55,828 Yeah a viewing party, 579 00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,997 for something near to my heart. 580 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:58,865 Say yes. 581 00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:03,435 - Alright. 582 00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:09,075 That's close enough, I'll take it. 583 00:25:09,075 --> 00:25:10,042 Happy Thanksgiving. 584 00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:14,146 Well you know. 585 00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:17,349 There's Snoopy rounding the corner. 586 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,585 Speaking of Peanuts. 587 00:25:18,585 --> 00:25:21,721 It's a great site to see Snoopy. 588 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:26,292 - What the hell are you doing? 589 00:25:26,292 --> 00:25:27,627 - I'm just looking for my damn, 590 00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:28,961 oh fuck. - What? 591 00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:30,362 What, what? 592 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:31,731 - No, shoot, it's starting. 593 00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:35,935 I don't know. 594 00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:37,937 I think we should talk to somebody about it. 595 00:25:37,937 --> 00:25:39,405 Oh I don't know. 596 00:25:39,405 --> 00:25:41,674 Everybody will pretty much everything go there. 597 00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:44,744 It doesn't seem fair. 598 00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:47,847 See that's what I was-- 599 00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:52,118 It's a commercial break. 600 00:25:52,118 --> 00:25:53,620 It's a Wendy's commercial. 601 00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,054 - I know, I just can't get past the square burger. 602 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,355 It doesn't taste the same. 603 00:25:58,357 --> 00:26:00,226 Now at Wendy's. 604 00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:02,128 - God damn, I hate commercials. 605 00:26:02,128 --> 00:26:04,296 Don't you have this shit on DVD, or something? 606 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:06,165 - See, if I don't watch it in real time, 607 00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:07,399 then some other dip shit will, 608 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,335 and that dip shit will be the dip shit 609 00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:11,604 they base their fault line up around. 610 00:26:11,604 --> 00:26:13,806 - You know you don't have a Nielsen box, right? 611 00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,275 - DVR, every house is a Nielsen house now. 612 00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,010 - Wait, you have a DVR? 613 00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:18,845 - Yeah. 614 00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:21,047 Whoa, oh. 615 00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:22,649 You have to stop this. 616 00:26:22,649 --> 00:26:23,482 Stop fighting. 617 00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,065 Well you know, 618 00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:40,232 I suppose if they were going to get litigious, 619 00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:42,601 they could all just come after me. 620 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,904 Being a bad teacher sometimes has limitation. 621 00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:47,940 - Did the 516 paper come back yet? 622 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,041 Just wondering if you noticed-- 623 00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:50,843 - Apu rocks. 624 00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:52,344 Watch. 625 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,780 Thank you, come again. 626 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:56,348 One beverage please. 627 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:57,917 - Watch these people here. 628 00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:58,918 Wait for it. 629 00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,255 That's a pretty straightforward homage. 630 00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:06,558 - Have you seen Requiem for a Dream? 631 00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:07,794 - How high are you? 632 00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:08,594 - That's genius homage. - From one to Whitney 633 00:27:08,594 --> 00:27:09,762 Houston in a bath tub. 634 00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:11,864 How high are you right now? 635 00:27:11,864 --> 00:27:14,466 - I mean, I was about to crack a beer. 636 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:15,301 Other than that. 637 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:20,139 - I told you no more "Simpsons" abstracts. 638 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,374 - Okay, so, alright, we won't. 639 00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:25,011 - And it's not even an impressive homage. 640 00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:26,178 I mean, we get it. 641 00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:27,947 Homer's drug of choice is the Ribwich. 642 00:27:27,947 --> 00:27:29,749 It's no more potent than speed 643 00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:32,284 to a dieting housewife for heroine 644 00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:35,054 to Jennifer Connelly and what's-her-face. 645 00:27:35,054 --> 00:27:36,322 What's his name? 646 00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,123 - He looks like a girl, Jared Leto. 647 00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:38,224 - Jared fucking Leto. 648 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,727 I mean, this stupid bullshit, 649 00:27:40,727 --> 00:27:43,029 the Ribwich bullshit is missing the point. 650 00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,731 It's missing the ethical debate. 651 00:27:44,731 --> 00:27:46,532 Should Lisa take a bribe, 652 00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:48,234 and take a dive in the spelling bee, 653 00:27:48,234 --> 00:27:49,401 and let that stupid poster boy take-- 654 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:50,837 - So you have seen it then? 655 00:27:50,837 --> 00:27:51,670 - Of course I've seen it. 656 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,505 Everyone's seen it. 657 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:56,242 What happens when she decides to do the right thing, 658 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:59,712 she fucks up a word and she loses everything. 659 00:28:00,913 --> 00:28:01,848 Your kids spells things 660 00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:03,950 pretty good there, Homer. 661 00:28:03,950 --> 00:28:07,253 Yeah, me and Carl don't spell so good. 662 00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:08,520 Yeah that's right. 663 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:12,158 - I think you have a handle on your work. 664 00:28:13,592 --> 00:28:14,526 Wait, what are you doing? 665 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,262 - Just watch the TV, it's fine. 666 00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:18,164 - The whole point was to watch with you. 667 00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:19,465 You know, you come over, 668 00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:22,434 we watch a dumb cartoon, and have a laugh, 669 00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:23,669 maybe make out a little. 670 00:28:23,669 --> 00:28:25,371 - Discussion of the subject is important. 671 00:28:25,371 --> 00:28:26,305 - What subject? 672 00:28:26,305 --> 00:28:27,473 It's what you said. 673 00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:28,908 - You want to discuss the "Simpsons?" 674 00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:29,842 - You don't want to discuss anything. 675 00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:31,978 - Alright, I'm fucking lost. 676 00:28:31,978 --> 00:28:33,679 - Forget it, just watch your show. 677 00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:40,887 You insisted we discuss every and and the 678 00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:42,354 in every single paper. 679 00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:44,723 My academic success is important to me. 680 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:45,557 That's what you said. - You remember saying 681 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:46,725 I didn't trust you? 682 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,994 - You're missing the point. 683 00:28:47,994 --> 00:28:50,096 - You are bent on feeling insulted. 684 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:55,401 Come on. 685 00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:57,203 Hey, you're gonna freeze your tits off. 686 00:28:57,203 --> 00:28:58,004 - Fuck you! 687 00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:01,240 These papers are for your graduate degree. 688 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,674 They're part of what you do to earn it. 689 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,376 - A diploma does not mean that you're smart. 690 00:29:04,376 --> 00:29:05,644 It means you do as you're told. 691 00:29:05,644 --> 00:29:07,546 - Yeah, it's part of the deal you cut, 692 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,181 and you're welshing on the deal. 693 00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:12,018 - It's right, I could just drop out like you. 694 00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:13,185 - I couldn't afford it. 695 00:29:13,185 --> 00:29:14,320 I don't have your money. 696 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,322 - Oh you didn't respect it. 697 00:29:17,890 --> 00:29:20,359 You think the achievement itself is specious 698 00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:23,796 and the arbiter is someone whose intellect is beneath yours. 699 00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:25,798 He expects so little of us, you remember? 700 00:29:25,798 --> 00:29:26,999 - I don't sound like that. 701 00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,200 - Fuck, alright, just take your coat. 702 00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:33,372 - You know, I'm smarter than all the fuckers out there. 703 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,641 But when I go, when I leave, 704 00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,109 when this falls through, 705 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,311 I'll be qualified for a minimum wage at Jamba Juice, 706 00:29:39,311 --> 00:29:40,479 and that's not fair. 707 00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:41,713 - Fair? 708 00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:42,982 How long have you been haunting this joint, 709 00:29:42,982 --> 00:29:44,216 getting freshmen out of their homework? 710 00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:46,285 - It's what I know how to do. 711 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:47,553 - There's a moral answer. 712 00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:49,155 - I never claim morals. 713 00:29:49,155 --> 00:29:51,457 - But you did question mine. 714 00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:52,992 - Look, I know everyone could benefit 715 00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:55,027 from a secretary, I get that. 716 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:57,763 I did it not because of the money. 717 00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:59,999 Well, okay, a lot because of the money, 718 00:29:59,999 --> 00:30:04,636 but because I felt like we weren't cheating doing this. 719 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,305 - We were always cheating. 720 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,875 - But you obviously cared about the work. 721 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:12,511 You got so turned on by ideas. 722 00:30:14,246 --> 00:30:16,115 I don't know, I thought maybe one day 723 00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:17,884 you might even show me your thesis. 724 00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:22,554 But it's been all "Simpsons" and dirty sex. 725 00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:23,689 Maybe you just used me. 726 00:30:26,725 --> 00:30:28,327 I don't know, I thought you were different. 727 00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:29,261 - You thought what? 728 00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:30,562 - I thought you were different. 729 00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:34,433 I was right. 730 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:36,402 - Okay I've used you. 731 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,771 Okay, I used you, as a friend. 732 00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:43,609 I've used you as a lover. 733 00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,480 As an equal, as a superior mind. 734 00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:52,284 But here's the thing. 735 00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:54,220 When someone says I could use you here, 736 00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:58,324 what they mean is I want you here. 737 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:01,693 I want you here. 738 00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:02,895 You keep me awake. 739 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:06,398 I don't hound you about my papers 740 00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:07,499 because I trust you. 741 00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:11,103 I trust you, Annalee. 742 00:31:12,571 --> 00:31:13,872 I sure could use you here. 743 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,654 - For an asshole, that was awful sweet. 744 00:31:50,442 --> 00:31:51,477 So you want to talk a little later 745 00:31:51,477 --> 00:31:54,280 about the next 516 paper? 746 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,647 - Colbert's on soon. 747 00:31:55,647 --> 00:31:57,049 - I mean it. 748 00:31:57,049 --> 00:31:59,385 I want to start talking again. - Okay, okay, okay. 749 00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:02,088 - I was thinking, 750 00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,756 the chrysalis phase of American pop stars. 751 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:05,591 - Oh, that's terrific. 752 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:06,658 What does that mean? 753 00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:08,827 - What's this? 754 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:12,498 I did it not because of the money. 755 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:13,765 A lot because of the money. 756 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:17,236 Sigurd, what the fuck? 757 00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:21,974 I am not Sigurd Rossdale. 758 00:32:23,109 --> 00:32:26,078 Hereinafter referred to as Shit Heel. 759 00:32:27,246 --> 00:32:29,515 Told you you weren't gonna like it. 760 00:32:29,515 --> 00:32:32,584 I expect you know what to do now, Professor. 761 00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,553 Happy Solstice. 762 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:35,821 The paper store. 763 00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:38,424 - I want to thank you both for coming here. 764 00:32:38,424 --> 00:32:39,958 Miss Monaghan, it's good to finally meet you. 765 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,027 Mm-hmm. 766 00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:42,761 Mr. Rossdale. 767 00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:43,996 - Can we skip this? 768 00:32:43,996 --> 00:32:44,796 I just want to know if I should be packing. 769 00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:46,632 - You should be packing. 770 00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:48,334 - You've got nerve. 771 00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:49,535 - You bet ya. - Alright, alright. 772 00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:50,669 We're just here to talk. 773 00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:51,937 - Why? 774 00:32:51,937 --> 00:32:53,439 You got his paper three weeks ago. 775 00:32:53,439 --> 00:32:55,341 Shit Heel should be halfway up his own creek by now. 776 00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:56,642 - That's nice. 777 00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:57,909 It's Winter break. 778 00:32:57,909 --> 00:32:59,178 I think that creek is frozen right now. 779 00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:00,679 - Nice. 780 00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:02,981 - The Dean isn't coming back from Beaumont Somero, 781 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,017 wherever he is, just to sort out this, 782 00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:09,821 well we don't really know what to call this, do we? 783 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:10,922 - Don't we? 784 00:33:10,922 --> 00:33:11,857 What do you need? 785 00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:13,459 Do you need it in writing? 786 00:33:13,459 --> 00:33:15,561 Oh, that's right, you have it in writing. 787 00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:16,795 - Your version. 788 00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:19,365 - Oh, did you want to make a statement? 789 00:33:19,365 --> 00:33:20,199 Please. 790 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,235 I implore you, go on. 791 00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:27,005 I didn't think so. 792 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,575 I can't imagine you painting 793 00:33:29,575 --> 00:33:32,411 a more thorough picture than she did. 794 00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,681 Which brings me to the question. 795 00:33:35,681 --> 00:33:37,616 Annalee, if I may. 796 00:33:37,616 --> 00:33:38,984 What did you hope to accomplish 797 00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:40,352 by sending this to me? 798 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,888 - I wanted to bust his ass. 799 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,159 You said that I might be familiar 800 00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:49,428 with some of your prior work. 801 00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:51,330 - My clients are my business. 802 00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:54,800 - Yell cheating on a college campus 803 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,169 is like yelling suicide is a psych ward. 804 00:33:58,537 --> 00:33:59,805 Your little confessional. 805 00:33:59,805 --> 00:34:01,039 - Not confessional, expose. 806 00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:05,177 When you confess, you sign your name. 807 00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:07,979 He only had so many bargaining chips. 808 00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,350 He had to figure he was gonna use one of them. 809 00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:13,685 - Yeah, I didn't think he'd be that stupid. 810 00:34:13,685 --> 00:34:15,754 What should Sigurd do, boys and girls? 811 00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:18,023 A, he could plead ignorant, 812 00:34:18,023 --> 00:34:20,058 call the paper a prank. 813 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,327 Something a classmate made up, 814 00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:24,163 or freaky ex-girlfriend. 815 00:34:24,163 --> 00:34:27,733 Or B, he could hand deliver the one person 816 00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:29,635 that would corroborate the whole thing with, 817 00:34:29,635 --> 00:34:31,737 you know, hard evidence. 818 00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:33,071 That's a thinker, alright. 819 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,407 But you know what? - If you're so smart, 820 00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:36,708 why'd you show up? 821 00:34:39,378 --> 00:34:40,212 - Admit it. 822 00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:44,250 You ever try to lift an entire degree before? 823 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:45,384 - Her version. 824 00:34:47,286 --> 00:34:49,588 - I understand if we want to hear your version, 825 00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:51,523 all we have to do is press play. 826 00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:54,226 I have to ask. - I can't wait to hear this. 827 00:34:54,226 --> 00:34:56,128 - What the hell were you thinking? 828 00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:57,396 You've seen Serpico. 829 00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:58,997 You know how this turns out. - Oh my God. 830 00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:00,732 Is that what you were doing? 831 00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:02,468 What, did someone promise you the Dean's list 832 00:35:02,468 --> 00:35:03,802 to take down the paper store? 833 00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:05,771 - Your vanity is ridiculous. 834 00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:06,738 - Then why? 835 00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:11,443 - It was for my thesis. 836 00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:14,380 - You're so full of shit. 837 00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:16,582 - Look, it's difficult to help you 838 00:35:16,582 --> 00:35:17,416 if you're gonna be like-- - Fuck him. 839 00:35:19,385 --> 00:35:20,586 Nail him to the wall. 840 00:35:21,687 --> 00:35:22,788 Leave my name out of it, 841 00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:23,889 and I will hand over-- - I'm afraid 842 00:35:23,889 --> 00:35:25,157 I can't promise that. 843 00:35:25,157 --> 00:35:26,725 - Why not? 844 00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:29,127 - What kind of pull do you think I have around here? 845 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,529 Huh? 846 00:35:30,529 --> 00:35:31,697 I'm not even tenured. 847 00:35:32,731 --> 00:35:33,565 - Well fuck it. 848 00:35:36,001 --> 00:35:38,404 Bet you wish you had eight copies now, huh, wanker? 849 00:35:38,404 --> 00:35:40,672 - Alright, you're free to go, Mr. Rossdale. 850 00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:43,675 Without evidence, your ass is un-busted. 851 00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:45,877 Miss Monaghan, somebody will be in touch. 852 00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:48,880 - No problem. 853 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,982 I got more pen names than you've had tables for one. 854 00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:55,787 - And the University has a semester's worth 855 00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:58,424 of your work that it can pour into its software. 856 00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:02,361 One customer with a zero, 857 00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:06,031 and your brand equity is zilch on this campus. 858 00:36:06,031 --> 00:36:07,866 - What I do, I can do from anywhere. 859 00:36:09,134 --> 00:36:10,336 Once I'm gone, I'm gonna email this to someone 860 00:36:10,336 --> 00:36:11,770 who gives a shit. 861 00:36:11,770 --> 00:36:12,571 - And then what? 862 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:14,940 What, you move to a town 863 00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:17,042 where nobody knows your name? 864 00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:19,445 In a business that you can't advertise? 865 00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:22,748 What are you gonna rebuild? 866 00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:26,151 I can see you found a marketplace 867 00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:28,220 for your considerable skill set. 868 00:36:29,255 --> 00:36:31,790 All these lazy students. - Oh come on. 869 00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:34,059 - Just addicted. - Really? 870 00:36:34,059 --> 00:36:35,594 - To instant reward. 871 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:40,932 Now maybe his academic record should be invalidated, 872 00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:43,001 but if I send this upstairs, 873 00:36:43,001 --> 00:36:44,570 you go along with it, 874 00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:48,173 and you will never be allowed on this campus again. 875 00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:49,241 And not just here. 876 00:36:50,476 --> 00:36:52,378 Any request for your transcripts 877 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,780 will turn up this story like a scarlet letter. 878 00:36:56,348 --> 00:36:58,850 Now if this becomes a formal inquiry, 879 00:36:58,850 --> 00:37:01,086 it's out of my hands. 880 00:37:01,086 --> 00:37:03,221 Any help that I can give you 881 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,991 begins and ends in this office. 882 00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:09,861 I don't want to see you end up 883 00:37:09,861 --> 00:37:12,163 behind a counter of a, what was it, Jamba Juice? 884 00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:37,523 - So what's he get, community service? 885 00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:40,392 Sigurd, for you, 886 00:37:40,392 --> 00:37:42,328 I think we just turn back the clock. 887 00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:45,063 You get incompletes until the work can be redone. 888 00:37:45,063 --> 00:37:46,298 And that's redone by you. 889 00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:48,367 In case that part was unclear. 890 00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:49,968 We take three classes, 891 00:37:49,968 --> 00:37:51,002 plus my course load for Spring. 892 00:37:51,002 --> 00:37:51,937 Shit, while we're at it, 893 00:37:51,937 --> 00:37:53,639 why don't we add a dance minor? 894 00:37:53,639 --> 00:37:54,573 A second chance, 895 00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:55,807 that doesn't appeal to you? 896 00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:56,842 No it's not that, it's my schedule. 897 00:37:56,842 --> 00:37:58,510 There is no room. 898 00:37:58,510 --> 00:37:59,745 Make some. 899 00:37:59,745 --> 00:38:01,246 No see, if I don't stay 900 00:38:01,246 --> 00:38:03,281 on the two year track then none of this matters anyway. 901 00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,483 As they say 902 00:38:04,483 --> 00:38:05,417 in the knock knock joke, boo-hoo. 903 00:38:05,417 --> 00:38:07,619 I'll submit make-ups. 904 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:08,454 Well then you'll always 905 00:38:08,454 --> 00:38:09,688 count as pass-fail, 906 00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,657 which does some damage to your four point. 907 00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:12,924 Fine, God damn it. 908 00:38:12,924 --> 00:38:16,362 I will retake Alt. Cin to keep me cum laude. 909 00:38:16,362 --> 00:38:17,596 Done. 910 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,130 But there will be new films this semester, 911 00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:22,033 so don't think you can just grab her old notes. 912 00:38:23,369 --> 00:38:25,103 And her, what does she get? 913 00:38:25,103 --> 00:38:27,138 - Happy Monday to you all. 914 00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:29,107 Welcome to Alternative Cinema. 915 00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:32,077 For those of you who don't know who I am, 916 00:38:32,077 --> 00:38:33,178 shame on you. 917 00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:35,180 My name is Professor Marty Kane. 918 00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:37,916 Please enter that into your auto-complete settings. 919 00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,551 Let me introduce Miss Monaghan. 920 00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:41,219 Our new TA. 921 00:38:41,219 --> 00:38:43,355 Please consider her a resource. 922 00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:46,425 She is available for free individual 923 00:38:46,425 --> 00:38:49,461 and group tutoring throughout the semester. 924 00:38:49,461 --> 00:38:52,798 You can sign up for a session after the class. 925 00:38:52,798 --> 00:38:55,534 Now, Alternative Cinema. 926 00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:59,304 Begs the question, alternative to what? 927 00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:02,441 Does the phrase assume a norm 928 00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:04,309 that cannot be assumed. 929 00:39:04,309 --> 00:39:07,579 Are we presupposed to what is proper 930 00:39:07,579 --> 00:39:09,715 versus what is deviant? 931 00:39:09,715 --> 00:39:12,518 What is clean versus what is dirty? 932 00:39:12,518 --> 00:39:13,752 Or more importantly, 933 00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:15,921 are you, the audience, 934 00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:19,958 Miss Monaghan. 935 00:39:21,226 --> 00:39:22,628 Miss Monaghan, are we ready? 936 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,199 Come here, come here. 937 00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:29,234 I got it, I got it. 938 00:39:42,481 --> 00:39:45,417 We instinctively trust the voice in our ears, 939 00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,919 even if we know that voice is fallible. 940 00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:51,389 This is the way that cinema 941 00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:55,060 can rob us of our compass, moral or otherwise. 942 00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,529 Now can anybody give me an example? 943 00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,297 Miss Monaghan, how about you? 944 00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:02,100 - Yeah. 945 00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,034 Sure. 946 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,504 The cabinet of Dr. Kalagari 947 00:40:05,504 --> 00:40:08,306 is considered the grandfather of the form. 948 00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:11,443 One of the first examples of frame story in film, 949 00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:16,915 we believe that our narrator is the hero, 950 00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:19,651 as he uncovers Kalagari's secrets, 951 00:40:19,651 --> 00:40:21,953 only to learn that his story is fiction, 952 00:40:21,953 --> 00:40:23,555 and that he is insane. 953 00:40:24,790 --> 00:40:26,592 - Excellent, yes. 954 00:40:26,592 --> 00:40:27,425 Excellent. 955 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:28,259 Bullshit. 956 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,729 - I'm sorry? 957 00:40:30,729 --> 00:40:32,631 - Her example is bullshit. 958 00:40:33,965 --> 00:40:35,166 Being nuts didn't affect 959 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:36,868 the narrator's ability to tell his story. 960 00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:39,137 It was a yarn for the other inmates. 961 00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:40,338 So what if it's not true? 962 00:40:40,338 --> 00:40:41,640 Neither is "Three Little Pigs." 963 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,174 - But he thinks it's true. 964 00:40:43,174 --> 00:40:44,576 Which makes us think it's true. 965 00:40:44,576 --> 00:40:48,780 That's the definition of an unreliable narrator. 966 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,448 - Oh. 967 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:51,382 I'm sorry. 968 00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:52,350 No, I get it now. 969 00:40:52,350 --> 00:40:53,819 So he's a liar. 970 00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:56,287 But since he's the only one talking, 971 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:57,656 everyone has to take him at his word. 972 00:40:57,656 --> 00:40:59,257 Okay, yeah, cool. 973 00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:01,960 - These are excellent, 974 00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:06,297 excellent points, both of them. 975 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:08,366 Very good, I think it's time to move on. 976 00:41:08,366 --> 00:41:09,400 Anybody else? 977 00:41:10,502 --> 00:41:11,469 Yes, Mr. Hooper. 978 00:41:12,437 --> 00:41:14,606 - You mean, like "Fight Club?" 979 00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:18,544 - Only in the most derivative sense. 980 00:41:18,544 --> 00:41:20,679 Kalagari has proven seminal. 981 00:41:20,679 --> 00:41:23,481 Hitchcock famously drew on Varner's masterpiece. 982 00:41:24,349 --> 00:41:26,918 Media Studies 516. 983 00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:28,654 Professor Marty Kane. 984 00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:30,488 Make-up assignment number one. 985 00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:33,391 Topic, confirmation bias, 986 00:41:33,391 --> 00:41:35,861 or why Freddie Nuendeich got what he deserved. 987 00:41:37,763 --> 00:41:39,130 You don't need anyone to go 988 00:41:39,130 --> 00:41:41,700 all Spanish prisoner on you to be duped. 989 00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,334 Whether it's Dean Keaton's guilt, 990 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,036 or Mr. Orange's innocence. 991 00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:47,939 People only look for the things they want to find. 992 00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:51,476 Maybe that's why it's so easy for you 993 00:41:51,476 --> 00:41:52,811 to believe that a feminist paper 994 00:41:52,811 --> 00:41:54,279 couldn't possibly be mine. 995 00:41:54,279 --> 00:41:57,182 So, setting the record straight, 996 00:41:57,182 --> 00:42:00,085 I was never against female sports reporters. 997 00:42:00,085 --> 00:42:01,787 It takes guts to grill a safe seed 998 00:42:01,787 --> 00:42:03,822 about his botched coverage. 999 00:42:03,822 --> 00:42:05,824 Even more guts to do it in heels. 1000 00:42:05,824 --> 00:42:08,627 But there's a reason for the gender gap 1001 00:42:08,627 --> 00:42:09,995 in the sports broadcasting booth, 1002 00:42:09,995 --> 00:42:13,398 and it's not chauvinism, it's experience. 1003 00:42:13,398 --> 00:42:14,633 There are men behind a desk 1004 00:42:14,633 --> 00:42:16,167 who can barely put a sentence together, 1005 00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:19,470 but we value their opinions because they've been there. 1006 00:42:21,172 --> 00:42:24,142 They've been elbowed by Kobe, beaten by Pedro, 1007 00:42:24,142 --> 00:42:26,211 sat on by Helotsian Gotta. 1008 00:42:26,211 --> 00:42:27,779 But no matter how much game tape 1009 00:42:27,779 --> 00:42:29,615 Susie Colber breaks down, 1010 00:42:29,615 --> 00:42:31,182 the biggest NFL hit she's ever taken 1011 00:42:31,182 --> 00:42:32,884 was Joe Namath's whiskey breath. 1012 00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:37,055 So, until the WNBA spits out a few more retirees, 1013 00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:39,891 or until we from the Rockford Peaches, 1014 00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,192 those gals are on the sidelines 1015 00:42:41,192 --> 00:42:43,328 because that's where their experience lies. 1016 00:42:44,763 --> 00:42:47,465 Certainly long days journey into night, 1017 00:42:47,465 --> 00:42:50,268 then Williams came on board. - Reynaldo, put it away. 1018 00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:53,972 - Making an impact not only on New York theater, 1019 00:42:53,972 --> 00:42:56,775 but then transitioning to celluloid with-- 1020 00:42:56,775 --> 00:42:58,009 All I'm saying is, 1021 00:42:58,009 --> 00:42:59,277 you can't know what the game is like 1022 00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:00,378 until you've played it. 1023 00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:06,384 - And then we consider women under the influence. 1024 00:43:06,384 --> 00:43:07,886 - There was a vibe there. - It has nothing to do 1025 00:43:07,886 --> 00:43:09,587 with knives, it has nothing to do with murder. 1026 00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:10,856 - Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. 1027 00:43:10,856 --> 00:43:12,090 - It has to do with how he identifies. 1028 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:13,324 - I watched that movie like twice. 1029 00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:14,559 I still don't know what's going on. 1030 00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:15,961 Is there a body or not? - Dude, do you know 1031 00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:17,395 that's not the point, right? - Of course it's the 1032 00:43:17,395 --> 00:43:18,563 freaking point, Annalee. 1033 00:43:18,563 --> 00:43:19,698 The dude is blowing up the picture 1034 00:43:19,698 --> 00:43:20,966 over and over and over. - Yeah, the name 1035 00:43:20,966 --> 00:43:22,901 of the movie is Blowup, okay? - Guys, stop! 1036 00:43:22,901 --> 00:43:25,536 - Wow, you're a smart one, aren't you? 1037 00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:27,973 - Why are you convinced this is so hard? 1038 00:43:27,973 --> 00:43:29,708 It is not differential calculus. 1039 00:43:29,708 --> 00:43:33,211 You just need to be alive and occasionally awake. 1040 00:43:33,211 --> 00:43:34,312 Hooper. - I was tired. 1041 00:43:34,312 --> 00:43:35,513 - I was awake. 1042 00:43:35,513 --> 00:43:36,982 - It still don't make no damn sense. 1043 00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:38,216 I just want to drive that home. 1044 00:43:38,216 --> 00:43:39,017 - You know what, there is literally 1045 00:43:39,017 --> 00:43:39,985 no wrong answer here. 1046 00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:41,720 How did it make you feel? 1047 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:42,921 - Fucking pissed. 1048 00:43:42,921 --> 00:43:44,155 - Great, why? 1049 00:43:44,155 --> 00:43:45,590 - 'Cause Kane's gonna give him another D. 1050 00:43:45,590 --> 00:43:47,959 - You came, both races. 1051 00:43:47,959 --> 00:43:49,828 - Antonio need a provocateur. 1052 00:43:49,828 --> 00:43:51,529 If you felt like pissed at the end, 1053 00:43:51,529 --> 00:43:53,865 there's a chance you understood it exactly. 1054 00:43:55,734 --> 00:43:56,601 - I really didn't. 1055 00:43:58,269 --> 00:44:00,672 - Oh, Anna, come on. - What did I say? 1056 00:44:00,672 --> 00:44:02,240 - This is your job, last time I checked. 1057 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:05,010 - You know I didn't gather you together, right? 1058 00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:08,680 You signed up for this, you volunteered. 1059 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,081 I have my own homework. 1060 00:44:10,081 --> 00:44:12,951 Risk aversion psychology in End Person Games 1061 00:44:12,951 --> 00:44:15,553 for Dr. Uva due tomorrow. 1062 00:44:15,553 --> 00:44:16,654 And if you don't know what that means, 1063 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:17,588 just know it's gonna take 1064 00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:19,190 a little more than 90 minutes 1065 00:44:19,190 --> 00:44:21,092 and some popcorn to prep. 1066 00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:22,794 But you all just want some spoon fed answer 1067 00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:24,062 you can plug into your papers. 1068 00:44:24,062 --> 00:44:25,831 - Yeah, unless you want to write it for us, too. 1069 00:44:25,831 --> 00:44:27,265 Now that would be sweet. 1070 00:44:27,265 --> 00:44:29,000 - For real, yo. - He showed our class. 1071 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,135 He said that was totally fine. - How much you think 1072 00:44:30,135 --> 00:44:31,369 something like that cost? 1073 00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:32,603 - If you listen to nothing else I say, 1074 00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:34,305 just listen to this, for your own good. 1075 00:44:35,473 --> 00:44:37,175 You can never ever trust the people 1076 00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:38,910 that deal in that world. 1077 00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:40,011 You will get caught. 1078 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,089 Ogden minus six. 1079 00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,692 Archiati minus 12. 1080 00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,527 - I weep for their squandered tuition. 1081 00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:57,729 - A parents tuition and don't. 1082 00:44:57,729 --> 00:44:58,563 It's their fault she's like that. 1083 00:44:58,563 --> 00:44:59,765 - How is that fair? 1084 00:44:59,765 --> 00:45:02,033 - That kind of dumb is cultivated 1085 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:03,668 like a rare and beautiful orchid. 1086 00:45:03,668 --> 00:45:06,304 Gina Richard minus seven. - These are not the results 1087 00:45:06,304 --> 00:45:08,840 I hoped for when you started teaching my students. 1088 00:45:10,876 --> 00:45:12,643 - Sub-par sows ear. 1089 00:45:12,643 --> 00:45:14,746 I mean, no one should have told 1090 00:45:14,746 --> 00:45:16,815 Mitchell Hooper to go to college. 1091 00:45:16,815 --> 00:45:18,683 - Einstein said, 1092 00:45:18,683 --> 00:45:19,951 "Everybody's a genius, 1093 00:45:19,951 --> 00:45:21,452 "but if you judge a fish 1094 00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:23,588 "by his ability to climb a tree." 1095 00:45:23,588 --> 00:45:24,655 - Yeah, it's on your wall. 1096 00:45:24,655 --> 00:45:25,891 Mitchell Hooper is a fine fish, 1097 00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:28,726 but you know, academia is not his tree. 1098 00:45:29,928 --> 00:45:31,897 Smart enough to write 'em but not read 'em. 1099 00:45:31,897 --> 00:45:33,398 - Don't bother. 1100 00:45:33,398 --> 00:45:34,399 It's just a 516. 1101 00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:35,400 - I know what it is. 1102 00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:37,268 I can take it. 1103 00:45:45,510 --> 00:45:46,912 Lance Armstrong, Milli Vanilli, 1104 00:45:46,912 --> 00:45:48,814 and the little shit who cried wolf. 1105 00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:52,050 B minus. 1106 00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:55,854 That's a lot of red for a B minus. 1107 00:45:55,854 --> 00:45:57,655 - Sigurd's problem, 1108 00:45:57,655 --> 00:46:00,558 other than eternally searching for shortcuts, 1109 00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:02,961 is his authenticity. 1110 00:46:02,961 --> 00:46:04,863 Kid needs to find his own voice. 1111 00:46:04,863 --> 00:46:06,898 - I think the voice is pretty clear. 1112 00:46:06,898 --> 00:46:08,466 He's writing about me. 1113 00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:11,569 This is just like the others. 1114 00:46:11,569 --> 00:46:14,605 It's not a paper, it's a vendetta. 1115 00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:22,848 - He's searching through the wilderness, 1116 00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:24,282 groping for the truth. 1117 00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:27,052 It will get personal. 1118 00:46:28,053 --> 00:46:29,687 It will get worse. 1119 00:46:29,687 --> 00:46:31,256 - Relevancy of the re-release. 1120 00:46:31,256 --> 00:46:32,657 Why bother? 1121 00:46:32,657 --> 00:46:34,325 80 inch home streams 4K, 1122 00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:36,094 on demand streaming, why leave the house 1123 00:46:36,094 --> 00:46:38,696 if "Eraserhead" is back in theaters? 1124 00:46:38,696 --> 00:46:40,265 Oh. 1125 00:46:40,265 --> 00:46:41,732 Here we go. 1126 00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:46,004 What Annalee, hereinafter referred to as Minion. 1127 00:46:46,004 --> 00:46:47,238 - Never understood as the reason 1128 00:46:47,238 --> 00:46:48,439 we'd line up to buy another ticket 1129 00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:51,776 to see Frodo and Sam, Luke and Leia, 1130 00:46:51,776 --> 00:46:54,312 or even Jack and Rose, 1131 00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,746 is not the new tech. 1132 00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:00,952 It's not even the story. 1133 00:47:00,952 --> 00:47:02,587 It's the ritual of its telling. 1134 00:47:02,587 --> 00:47:04,389 We revisit the past because 1135 00:47:04,389 --> 00:47:07,158 we want to be the people we were then. 1136 00:47:09,394 --> 00:47:10,661 When we first saw it. 1137 00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:17,502 Before we know how the story ends. 1138 00:47:25,476 --> 00:47:27,078 - No. 1139 00:47:27,078 --> 00:47:28,479 No, you're uncomfortable. 1140 00:47:30,115 --> 00:47:32,783 Surely you've seen the uncut version before. 1141 00:47:32,783 --> 00:47:34,252 No such thing as an uncut version. 1142 00:47:34,252 --> 00:47:36,154 All movies are edited, hence cut. 1143 00:47:36,154 --> 00:47:38,423 - Well someday you might lighten up a bit. 1144 00:47:38,423 --> 00:47:40,691 - And yes I had seen the NC-17 version. 1145 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:41,960 We watched it for your seminar. 1146 00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:43,361 Different on the big screen. 1147 00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:47,798 - James Spader was masterful. 1148 00:47:47,798 --> 00:47:51,102 - A puppet who fucked a leg wound. 1149 00:47:51,102 --> 00:47:52,037 - I have to tell you, 1150 00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:53,571 I'm very surprised by this. 1151 00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:55,340 - You shouldn't be. 1152 00:47:57,408 --> 00:47:59,577 - You wrote a very elegant paper on "Crash." 1153 00:47:59,577 --> 00:48:00,811 - I'm sure I did. 1154 00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:03,614 It was probably also the third paper that week. 1155 00:48:03,614 --> 00:48:05,616 - Your position, as I remember it. 1156 00:48:05,616 --> 00:48:08,286 - I never had a position on "Crash." 1157 00:48:08,286 --> 00:48:10,255 - You said that the employment 1158 00:48:10,255 --> 00:48:12,290 of the sexual-- - Sexually grotesque. 1159 00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:13,524 - It's a powerful metaphor. 1160 00:48:13,524 --> 00:48:14,725 - Not a metaphor. 1161 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,594 Literalization of the sickness in "Saw." 1162 00:48:17,762 --> 00:48:19,864 - You said that the heart of the film 1163 00:48:19,864 --> 00:48:22,067 was not the so-called perversions, 1164 00:48:22,067 --> 00:48:24,302 but the willing community of the perverse. 1165 00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:25,503 And that these characters 1166 00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:28,606 built a relationship around this common bond. 1167 00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:31,609 - The car crashes make them wet in the pants. 1168 00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,811 - Sharing this perversion, 1169 00:48:33,811 --> 00:48:36,714 it makes them feel less alone. 1170 00:48:36,714 --> 00:48:39,150 - Yeah, that's how NAMBLA works, too. 1171 00:48:41,586 --> 00:48:44,089 - I thought that you'd have a more open mind. 1172 00:48:44,089 --> 00:48:46,958 Come on, let's get some coffee, okay, pie. 1173 00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:49,727 - Sorry, I gotta go shower the Spader off me. 1174 00:48:52,197 --> 00:48:54,365 - If you're going to write a paper, 1175 00:48:54,365 --> 00:48:56,434 why wouldn't you own up to it after? 1176 00:48:57,835 --> 00:48:59,804 - What did you want out of tonight, Marty? 1177 00:48:59,804 --> 00:49:00,738 - What are you implying? 1178 00:49:00,738 --> 00:49:01,806 - Why'd you drag me here? 1179 00:49:03,241 --> 00:49:05,410 As you would say, what did you hope to accomplish? 1180 00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,248 - Not everybody who's interested 1181 00:49:10,248 --> 00:49:12,950 in developing your mind wants to fuck you. 1182 00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:19,557 - I'm sorry. 1183 00:49:24,395 --> 00:49:26,597 - If you must know, tonight was a celebration. 1184 00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:28,366 I was notified by the tenure committee, 1185 00:49:28,366 --> 00:49:30,235 I'm up for review, finally. 1186 00:49:30,235 --> 00:49:32,437 - Wait, that's great, right? 1187 00:49:32,437 --> 00:49:33,504 - I was gonna tell you over coffee, 1188 00:49:33,504 --> 00:49:35,906 but you ruined that. 1189 00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:39,610 - When's the hearing? 1190 00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:42,013 - The end of classes. 1191 00:49:43,881 --> 00:49:46,417 But it's been a long time coming. 1192 00:49:46,417 --> 00:49:48,686 You know, it's not being an associate, you know, 1193 00:49:48,686 --> 00:49:50,521 not only is it a wholly inaccurate term, 1194 00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:54,192 but demeaning to a man my age. 1195 00:49:54,192 --> 00:49:55,260 An adjunct. 1196 00:49:57,628 --> 00:50:00,798 It's been seven years without health insurance. 1197 00:50:00,798 --> 00:50:01,599 - I'm familiar. 1198 00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:05,970 So wait, if you get this, 1199 00:50:05,970 --> 00:50:08,206 that means you can't be fired. 1200 00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:09,707 - Not without cause. 1201 00:50:09,707 --> 00:50:11,876 But before, they could just fire me for no reason at all. 1202 00:50:13,078 --> 00:50:16,381 - So what does one get a newly-tenured professor? 1203 00:50:17,615 --> 00:50:19,016 Cuff links? 1204 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:19,850 Fancy pen? 1205 00:50:21,086 --> 00:50:22,220 - You know what I would love. 1206 00:50:22,220 --> 00:50:23,488 I'd love for you to stop taking 1207 00:50:23,488 --> 00:50:26,191 these opportunities that I'm handing you, 1208 00:50:26,191 --> 00:50:28,426 and treating them like I'm grounding you. 1209 00:50:29,627 --> 00:50:31,129 I've got to dive head first 1210 00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:32,697 into preparing for this review. 1211 00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:36,234 I need your full commitment. 1212 00:50:36,234 --> 00:50:37,435 - What else do you want? 1213 00:50:38,936 --> 00:50:40,071 You'll take over my office hours, 1214 00:50:40,071 --> 00:50:41,239 tomorrow for starters. 1215 00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:45,076 - Yeah, sure. 1216 00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:48,846 - Good. 1217 00:50:48,846 --> 00:50:50,615 And I enjoy a good Scotch. 1218 00:50:56,587 --> 00:50:58,556 - Oh, sorry. 1219 00:50:58,556 --> 00:51:00,091 We thought-- 1220 00:51:00,091 --> 00:51:02,627 Oh, I'm doing his office hours today. 1221 00:51:02,627 --> 00:51:04,795 - Oh, that's totally chill. 1222 00:51:04,795 --> 00:51:06,497 I'd rather talk to you. 1223 00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:10,568 - Well, we-- 1224 00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:13,138 - Wanted to ask about our grades. 1225 00:51:13,138 --> 00:51:15,873 - I should probably talk to you separately for that. 1226 00:51:15,873 --> 00:51:17,342 - We wanted to ask if there 1227 00:51:17,342 --> 00:51:19,610 was any extra credit we could do or something. 1228 00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,212 We can ask that? 1229 00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:24,014 - Extra credit isn't really Professor Kane's thing. 1230 00:51:24,014 --> 00:51:25,350 An extra paper? 1231 00:51:25,350 --> 00:51:26,917 I mean, he likes papers, right? 1232 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,657 - Emily, if I remember right, 1233 00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:36,093 you're solidly in the B range without even trying. 1234 00:51:37,027 --> 00:51:38,229 - I'm trying. 1235 00:51:38,229 --> 00:51:39,530 Who said I'm not trying? 1236 00:51:39,530 --> 00:51:40,931 I just meant that-- 1237 00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:41,832 - Em wants a four point. 1238 00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:42,833 - I do. 1239 00:51:42,833 --> 00:51:44,369 My sister just got engaged, 1240 00:51:44,369 --> 00:51:46,471 and I'm down a bullet point in the family newsletter. 1241 00:51:46,471 --> 00:51:48,173 - Well an A is totally in reach, 1242 00:51:48,173 --> 00:51:49,707 if you just like-- - What about your 1243 00:51:49,707 --> 00:51:51,442 discussion groups, we've been to like all of those. 1244 00:51:53,010 --> 00:51:55,480 - Those aren't for credit, they're for you. 1245 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,183 - Right, but I mean. - It's like extra school. 1246 00:51:58,183 --> 00:51:59,150 - Yeah. 1247 00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:00,685 - Well it's all extra, isn't it? 1248 00:52:00,685 --> 00:52:03,288 If you take a walk off campus and into the woods, 1249 00:52:03,288 --> 00:52:05,022 no truant officer is gonna come find you. 1250 00:52:05,022 --> 00:52:06,257 - I guess. 1251 00:52:06,257 --> 00:52:07,858 - You gotta stop using your credit hours 1252 00:52:07,858 --> 00:52:09,860 and your grade point as a yard stick. 1253 00:52:09,860 --> 00:52:11,829 And you've shown a ton of improvement 1254 00:52:11,829 --> 00:52:13,364 in such a short space of time. 1255 00:52:13,364 --> 00:52:14,632 - Am I passing? 1256 00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:17,535 - Okay give me a sec, I'll bring it up. 1257 00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:21,506 - I don't think Kane likes me. 1258 00:52:21,506 --> 00:52:23,441 - Well I like you, Hooper. 1259 00:52:24,609 --> 00:52:25,543 So let's see. 1260 00:52:25,543 --> 00:52:29,079 You are passing is what you are. 1261 00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:30,815 - See, I told you. - I'm passing? 1262 00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,719 I'm fucking passing. - I told you. 1263 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:36,187 You're almost at a C. 1264 00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:39,123 - I just want to do better, you know? 1265 00:52:39,123 --> 00:52:42,327 I feel bad my parents had to like mortgage 1266 00:52:42,327 --> 00:52:43,361 all their shit for this. 1267 00:52:43,361 --> 00:52:46,331 I just, fuck. 1268 00:52:46,331 --> 00:52:47,265 I thought I was gonna have to 1269 00:52:47,265 --> 00:52:48,699 start studying for my CDL, 1270 00:52:48,699 --> 00:52:50,100 saving up for a rig. 1271 00:52:51,336 --> 00:52:53,271 - Can I ask you a personal question? 1272 00:52:53,271 --> 00:52:54,605 Yeah, of course. 1273 00:52:56,441 --> 00:52:58,576 - If you'd been failing, like, 1274 00:52:58,576 --> 00:53:00,545 flat out totally failing, 1275 00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:03,581 would your parents be sad that you quit, 1276 00:53:03,581 --> 00:53:07,852 or would they be happy to stop writing you checks? 1277 00:53:07,852 --> 00:53:09,119 - My dad would fucking disown me 1278 00:53:09,119 --> 00:53:10,488 if he saw me on a truck. 1279 00:53:10,488 --> 00:53:12,223 Why, what does he do? 1280 00:53:12,223 --> 00:53:13,791 - He drives a truck, obviously. 1281 00:53:17,262 --> 00:53:18,929 - Well. 1282 00:53:18,929 --> 00:53:20,097 You know, there's plenty of time 1283 00:53:20,097 --> 00:53:22,833 to raise your grades before finals. 1284 00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:24,935 - Oh yeah, alright. - Definitely, thanks. 1285 00:53:24,935 --> 00:53:28,539 Yeah. 1286 00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,774 Come on. 1287 00:53:29,774 --> 00:53:33,311 I'm so glad it was her and not Kane. 1288 00:53:56,934 --> 00:53:58,168 Alright, how many of you 1289 00:53:58,168 --> 00:53:59,437 watched all the before and after parents? 1290 00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:00,638 Media Studies 516. 1291 00:54:00,638 --> 00:54:03,140 Professor Marty Kane. 1292 00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:05,075 Make-up assignment number seven. 1293 00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:08,513 Topic, Steve Jobs, modern Caesar. 1294 00:54:09,947 --> 00:54:10,981 Which alternatives crossed over 1295 00:54:10,981 --> 00:54:12,450 to the studio system, 1296 00:54:12,450 --> 00:54:14,352 maintained an alternative aesthetic, 1297 00:54:14,352 --> 00:54:16,220 and who sold out? 1298 00:54:16,220 --> 00:54:17,054 By a show of hands. 1299 00:54:17,054 --> 00:54:19,123 - Emmanuel Conte said, 1300 00:54:19,123 --> 00:54:20,525 "Immaturity is the inability 1301 00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:21,992 "to use your own intelligence 1302 00:54:21,992 --> 00:54:24,595 "unless you get outside approval." 1303 00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:27,298 In short, if you can't think for yourself 1304 00:54:27,298 --> 00:54:28,366 then you're a child. 1305 00:54:31,469 --> 00:54:32,603 Miss Monaghan used to tell me 1306 00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:34,305 frequently how immature I am. 1307 00:54:35,540 --> 00:54:37,708 But Miss Monaghan, or Annalee as she was known 1308 00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,009 in her former life, 1309 00:54:40,244 --> 00:54:42,212 was also prone to grandstanding against 1310 00:54:42,212 --> 00:54:44,281 a permanent display of corporate branding 1311 00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:47,084 on her person, being used as a billboard. 1312 00:54:47,084 --> 00:54:48,486 Her words. 1313 00:54:48,486 --> 00:54:50,488 Even used to cut the labels out of her clothing. 1314 00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:52,657 But now, 1315 00:54:54,058 --> 00:54:56,260 now she has officially joined Media Studies. 1316 00:54:57,562 --> 00:55:00,431 I can tell because she sports the uniform. 1317 00:55:00,431 --> 00:55:01,399 See, no one would be caught 1318 00:55:01,399 --> 00:55:03,368 dead in here without a MacBook. 1319 00:55:03,368 --> 00:55:05,870 The brand creative thinkers use. 1320 00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,775 Why do we accept as gospel 1321 00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:15,045 that the computer age's most notorious autocrat 1322 00:55:15,045 --> 00:55:16,614 is the symbol of free thought? 1323 00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:21,719 Because here, our doctrine, 1324 00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:23,320 is the consumers control brand identity 1325 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,855 by signaling their allegiance. 1326 00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:28,526 So Miss Monaghan as a creative thinker 1327 00:55:28,526 --> 00:55:31,328 doesn't really have a choice now, does she? 1328 00:55:34,264 --> 00:55:35,332 So what changed? 1329 00:55:38,002 --> 00:55:38,836 What changed? 1330 00:55:40,638 --> 00:55:42,072 Not a God damn thing. 1331 00:55:43,207 --> 00:55:45,175 No one tricked her into homogeny. 1332 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,981 Tadpoles only turn into frogs. 1333 00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:52,483 Maggots only turn into flies. 1334 00:55:53,651 --> 00:55:55,586 Once he found out he was an almighty swan, 1335 00:55:56,521 --> 00:55:57,722 oh that fucking dumb thing 1336 00:55:57,722 --> 00:56:00,224 forgot all about the family who took him in. 1337 00:56:00,224 --> 00:56:01,559 At the end of the day, 1338 00:56:01,559 --> 00:56:02,693 at the end of the day, 1339 00:56:04,228 --> 00:56:06,230 we only change into who we already were. 1340 00:56:07,732 --> 00:56:09,767 How many people here think 1341 00:56:09,767 --> 00:56:11,669 that Scorsese has held onto 1342 00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:14,739 that gritty mean streets feeling? 1343 00:56:18,909 --> 00:56:20,310 - Where are they, Shit Heel? 1344 00:56:21,178 --> 00:56:22,480 Where are they? 1345 00:56:23,781 --> 00:56:27,284 - Where, what in the fuck? 1346 00:56:27,284 --> 00:56:28,252 What are you talking about? 1347 00:56:28,252 --> 00:56:29,487 Hey, put that down. 1348 00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:31,622 - Don't make me ask you a third time. 1349 00:56:31,622 --> 00:56:33,023 What are you talking about? 1350 00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:34,459 - My papers. - Your papers. 1351 00:56:34,459 --> 00:56:36,461 - My intellectual property. 1352 00:56:36,461 --> 00:56:37,862 - I paid you fair and square for those. 1353 00:56:37,862 --> 00:56:38,896 That makes them work for hire. 1354 00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:40,364 - False pretenses, Shit Heel. 1355 00:56:41,832 --> 00:56:43,333 - Why do you want them? 1356 00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:44,769 - Maybe I'll publish. 1357 00:56:44,769 --> 00:56:47,071 - You have copies on your hard drive for that. 1358 00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:48,873 - This isn't complex. 1359 00:56:48,873 --> 00:56:51,709 I don't want anything of mine with you. 1360 00:56:51,709 --> 00:56:54,278 - Then why aren't you asking me for the tapes? 1361 00:56:54,278 --> 00:56:55,212 - 'Cause fuck those tapes. 1362 00:56:55,212 --> 00:56:56,447 - That's good, that's good. 1363 00:56:56,447 --> 00:56:58,382 I wouldn't give 'em to you anyway. 1364 00:56:58,382 --> 00:56:59,316 - What am I supposed to think 1365 00:56:59,316 --> 00:57:00,250 when you say shit like that? 1366 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,652 - The worst, think the worst. 1367 00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:03,153 - Well you don't leave me much choice. 1368 00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:04,054 Fine. 1369 00:57:04,054 --> 00:57:05,623 Damn it. 1370 00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:08,358 I never wanted any of this shit. 1371 00:57:08,358 --> 00:57:10,160 But that August, I got a letter from my advisor. 1372 00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:11,529 What the fuck? 1373 00:57:11,529 --> 00:57:13,230 Mr. Rossdale, if you insist up 1374 00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:15,500 on using profanities and raising your voice. 1375 00:57:15,500 --> 00:57:16,934 - I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. 1376 00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:18,168 If you'd like to see the handbook. 1377 00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:19,203 - I would not like to see the handbook. 1378 00:57:19,203 --> 00:57:20,771 - Then I'm sure you are aware 1379 00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,206 that students are not eligible 1380 00:57:22,206 --> 00:57:23,107 to submit a thesis-- - I don't need 1381 00:57:23,107 --> 00:57:23,941 to see the manual. 1382 00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:24,909 I took the fucking, 1383 00:57:24,909 --> 00:57:26,143 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, 1384 00:57:26,143 --> 00:57:28,579 I took the class, I took those three hours 1385 00:57:28,579 --> 00:57:29,514 you say I'm-- - Three and a half. 1386 00:57:29,514 --> 00:57:30,781 - Yeah you're right, I'm sorry. 1387 00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,850 That extra half credit is a real gate keeper. 1388 00:57:32,850 --> 00:57:34,885 It's not an arbitrary figure. 1389 00:57:34,885 --> 00:57:36,286 - Oh, it's the definition of an arbitrary figure. 1390 00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,889 - Just because one is not privy to a logic, 1391 00:57:38,889 --> 00:57:40,891 doesn't mean there is none. 1392 00:57:40,891 --> 00:57:42,893 - I took the class. 1393 00:57:42,893 --> 00:57:44,361 It's four credit hours. 1394 00:57:44,361 --> 00:57:45,730 Even here in communications. 1395 00:57:45,730 --> 00:57:48,032 Four is more than 3.5. 1396 00:57:48,032 --> 00:57:51,068 - You didn't take the class here in communications. 1397 00:57:51,068 --> 00:57:53,370 You took the class at the college of information studies. 1398 00:57:53,370 --> 00:57:55,506 - It's the same fucking class. 1399 00:57:55,506 --> 00:57:57,508 It's the same professor in the same building. 1400 00:57:57,508 --> 00:58:00,010 It might even be the same fucking room. 1401 00:58:00,010 --> 00:58:01,145 No, no, no. 1402 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:02,379 I deserve an answer to that. 1403 00:58:02,379 --> 00:58:03,881 I deserve an answer that makes sense. 1404 00:58:03,881 --> 00:58:06,851 I deserve to know why you are keeping me trapped here 1405 00:58:06,851 --> 00:58:08,553 for an entire extra year 1406 00:58:08,553 --> 00:58:12,289 when I learned the things I was supposed to learn. 1407 00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:14,358 Here I am, I'm ready for the big work. 1408 00:58:14,358 --> 00:58:16,393 I'm a boat tied to the dock. 1409 00:58:16,393 --> 00:58:18,095 I'm in for 3.5 credits. 1410 00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:19,630 I'm being tethered to shore. 1411 00:58:19,630 --> 00:58:23,367 Just fucking bobbing in the wake 1412 00:58:23,367 --> 00:58:24,802 with the jet skis and you know, 1413 00:58:24,802 --> 00:58:26,971 I got the growing up the side of me, 1414 00:58:26,971 --> 00:58:28,372 it's the scales on the bottom. 1415 00:58:28,372 --> 00:58:29,607 They're white, they're hard, 1416 00:58:29,607 --> 00:58:30,541 they're fucking crusty. - Barnacles. 1417 00:58:30,541 --> 00:58:31,475 - Yes, thank you, barnacles. 1418 00:58:31,475 --> 00:58:32,509 I could not think of the word. 1419 00:58:35,780 --> 00:58:37,181 - Okay. 1420 00:58:37,181 --> 00:58:38,583 You're a kayak. 1421 00:58:39,817 --> 00:58:41,652 Are we meant to just let you 1422 00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:45,255 float along the rapids without first learning how to paddle? 1423 00:58:45,255 --> 00:58:46,691 - I got my bachelor's here. 1424 00:58:46,691 --> 00:58:47,524 That's four years. 1425 00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:48,693 Six figures in the hole. 1426 00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:50,094 If I wasn't learning how to paddle, 1427 00:58:50,094 --> 00:58:53,230 please, what the fuck? - A Bachelors isn't a Masters. 1428 00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:55,532 That's why they have different names. 1429 00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:57,101 And as a matter of fact, 1430 00:58:57,101 --> 00:58:59,336 you were enrolled in the correct course 1431 00:58:59,336 --> 00:59:02,573 until you deliberately decided to switch out. 1432 00:59:02,573 --> 00:59:04,842 So I am not sure what you expect me 1433 00:59:04,842 --> 00:59:07,077 or the University to do. - It conflicted with work. 1434 00:59:07,077 --> 00:59:08,212 It conflicted with my job. 1435 00:59:08,212 --> 00:59:10,648 I work, for money. 1436 00:59:10,648 --> 00:59:11,982 - In your field? 1437 00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:14,018 Because perhaps I could-- - No, no, no. 1438 00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:15,252 I was a cater waiter. 1439 00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:17,622 There's nothing paid in my field. 1440 00:59:17,622 --> 00:59:20,157 Not without a Masters. 1441 00:59:20,157 --> 00:59:23,794 - And you felt an internship was beneath you. 1442 00:59:24,929 --> 00:59:26,163 - No. 1443 00:59:26,163 --> 00:59:27,965 It was not beneath me, it was beneath my rent. 1444 00:59:27,965 --> 00:59:29,566 - Have you considered entering 1445 00:59:29,566 --> 00:59:31,736 the grad school housing lottery? 1446 00:59:31,736 --> 00:59:33,804 - If I win the lottery, is it free? 1447 00:59:34,839 --> 00:59:36,106 - Housing fees can be rolled 1448 00:59:36,106 --> 00:59:38,108 into your financial aid package. 1449 00:59:38,108 --> 00:59:40,177 - So more debt? 1450 00:59:40,177 --> 00:59:42,012 - I'm not sure if you're aware of this, 1451 00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:44,248 and if not, it may ease some of your concerns, 1452 00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:47,351 but as long as you are enrolled in college, 1453 00:59:47,351 --> 00:59:50,387 you don't have to start repaying those loans. 1454 00:59:50,387 --> 00:59:51,321 As a matter of fact, 1455 00:59:51,321 --> 00:59:53,590 I think a three year course-- 1456 00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:56,293 - I will jump off a bridge. 1457 00:59:56,293 --> 00:59:58,863 And the bank can scrape my brains up as collateral. 1458 01:00:00,865 --> 01:00:01,699 Okay. 1459 01:00:03,734 --> 01:00:08,739 What if I were to take an extra class this semester? 1460 01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:11,375 Can I start my thesis then? 1461 01:00:12,242 --> 01:00:13,410 - Just out of curiosity, 1462 01:00:13,410 --> 01:00:15,780 what is your thesis proposal? 1463 01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:16,714 - I have no idea. 1464 01:00:22,019 --> 01:00:24,922 It's not going to be easy given your schedule. 1465 01:00:25,756 --> 01:00:26,724 - Is that, are you? 1466 01:00:27,591 --> 01:00:28,959 Oh thank you. 1467 01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:29,894 Thank you. 1468 01:00:29,894 --> 01:00:31,829 Thank you, I swear to God, 1469 01:00:31,829 --> 01:00:33,197 if I become a mogul one day, 1470 01:00:33,197 --> 01:00:35,199 I will name a library after you. 1471 01:00:40,604 --> 01:00:41,571 Hey, what is that? 1472 01:00:41,571 --> 01:00:42,639 Isn't Alt. Cin a 200-level? 1473 01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:44,008 - Have you taken it before? 1474 01:00:44,008 --> 01:00:45,676 - No. - Then it doesn't matter, 1475 01:00:45,676 --> 01:00:47,978 as long as you stay within the department. 1476 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,749 - I feel like a faster kayak already. 1477 01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:55,119 - And Professor Kane's Cronenberg seminar. 1478 01:00:56,620 --> 01:00:58,989 - It's gotta be what it's gotta be, I guess. 1479 01:01:00,224 --> 01:01:02,259 Yeah, yeah every Saturday. 1480 01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:05,062 That was the only time I was available. 1481 01:01:05,062 --> 01:01:06,997 No, no Kevin, that's not what I'm saying. 1482 01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:09,133 No, no listen, listen. 1483 01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:11,335 I can still do shifts, 1484 01:01:11,335 --> 01:01:12,369 I just can't-- 1485 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:15,139 No. 1486 01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:16,841 No, no no no no. 1487 01:01:16,841 --> 01:01:19,076 God damn it. - Are you going out tonight? 1488 01:01:19,076 --> 01:01:21,045 - They fucking carded me last time. 1489 01:01:21,045 --> 01:01:21,879 - That's gay. 1490 01:01:21,879 --> 01:01:22,713 - Good morning. 1491 01:01:23,881 --> 01:01:26,116 If you are supposed to be in Alternative Cinema 1492 01:01:26,116 --> 01:01:28,218 with Professor Marty Kane. - No of course not. 1493 01:01:28,218 --> 01:01:29,486 You are in the right class. 1494 01:01:29,486 --> 01:01:30,755 - Why should you be anything different? 1495 01:01:30,755 --> 01:01:32,022 Complete fucking cock. - Please enter my name 1496 01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:32,957 in the auto-complete settings, thank you. 1497 01:01:32,957 --> 01:01:34,191 Now for those of you who think 1498 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,125 that you're gonna come into class, 1499 01:01:35,125 --> 01:01:36,360 watch a movie, eat some popcorn, 1500 01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,428 maybe make out with the girl next to you, 1501 01:01:39,629 --> 01:01:41,631 you have chosen poorly. 1502 01:01:41,631 --> 01:01:43,834 In addition to the syllabus, 1503 01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:47,004 there will be some outside viewing. 1504 01:01:47,004 --> 01:01:48,472 - "Fat Girl." 1505 01:01:48,472 --> 01:01:49,039 - It's about your mom. - As well. 1506 01:01:51,008 --> 01:01:53,110 - "400 Blows" is about your mom. 1507 01:01:54,078 --> 01:01:55,880 - There's grading requirements. 1508 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,848 These are to be hard copy, 1509 01:01:57,848 --> 01:02:00,951 hand delivered, no emails, no exceptions. 1510 01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,822 This paper should focus on homoeroticism from 1980 1511 01:02:06,290 --> 01:02:07,124 until the present. 1512 01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:08,658 It's due Tuesday. 1513 01:02:08,658 --> 01:02:13,663 Have a good weekend. 1514 01:02:19,904 --> 01:02:21,972 - No, this isn't mine. 1515 01:02:21,972 --> 01:02:22,807 - Whose is it? 1516 01:02:22,807 --> 01:02:23,640 Joe? 1517 01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:24,474 - Oh I'm Joe. 1518 01:02:26,710 --> 01:02:28,112 - Sup? 1519 01:02:28,112 --> 01:02:28,913 Thanks. 1520 01:02:29,914 --> 01:02:32,549 - Dude, B minus though. 1521 01:02:32,549 --> 01:02:34,551 What we paid, shit should have been an A. 1522 01:02:34,551 --> 01:02:35,986 - That's not how it works, dude. 1523 01:02:35,986 --> 01:02:37,154 She told us. 1524 01:02:37,154 --> 01:02:39,289 - Dude, don't be asking me to remember. 1525 01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:40,524 - Hey fags. 1526 01:02:40,524 --> 01:02:41,525 Hang back a second. 1527 01:02:41,525 --> 01:02:43,027 - What's up? 1528 01:02:43,027 --> 01:02:44,628 - You got any weed? 1529 01:03:05,950 --> 01:03:06,951 Hey guys. 1530 01:03:06,951 --> 01:03:08,152 You gotta go. 1531 01:03:08,152 --> 01:03:09,686 Your girl's here. 1532 01:03:09,686 --> 01:03:10,988 Come on. 1533 01:03:10,988 --> 01:03:11,922 Come on. 1534 01:03:11,922 --> 01:03:12,890 Let's go. 1535 01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:14,258 Hey, hey. 1536 01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:16,693 Yo, get up, get up. 1537 01:03:16,693 --> 01:03:17,794 - Dude, relax, chill. 1538 01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,096 - What are you, Frosted Flakes? 1539 01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:21,165 - Unclench the sphincter. 1540 01:03:21,165 --> 01:03:23,067 - Guys guys guys, please get out, please. 1541 01:03:23,067 --> 01:03:24,301 Fuck dude, chill. 1542 01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:25,235 - Guys, you're gone. 1543 01:03:25,235 --> 01:03:26,503 - Yeah man, unclench the ass. 1544 01:03:26,503 --> 01:03:27,437 - What the fuck did you just say to me? 1545 01:03:27,437 --> 01:03:29,373 - Oh my God, whoa man, relax. 1546 01:03:29,373 --> 01:03:32,176 - You too big guy, let's go. - Fuck dude, relax. 1547 01:03:32,176 --> 01:03:33,610 - Unclench the ass. 1548 01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:43,453 - Paper's due Tuesday. 1549 01:03:44,855 --> 01:03:45,689 - Yeah. 1550 01:03:48,492 --> 01:03:51,395 - Monday, student cafe, no open mark. 1551 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,905 Have fun with your thesis. 1552 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:05,042 - Hi, Josette. 1553 01:04:05,042 --> 01:04:06,043 Hi, it's Sigurd Rossdale. 1554 01:04:06,043 --> 01:04:07,611 I was in your office just, 1555 01:04:07,611 --> 01:04:08,812 you know who I am. 1556 01:04:08,812 --> 01:04:10,714 I have schedule problems, swear a lot. 1557 01:04:10,714 --> 01:04:13,450 The kayak, the kayak, I'm the kayak, yeah. 1558 01:04:13,450 --> 01:04:15,385 This is the loan in Kurt Rossholder. 1559 01:04:15,385 --> 01:04:16,486 Partners in crime. 1560 01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:19,723 Prevention tango catch. 1561 01:04:19,723 --> 01:04:23,627 - I wanted to talk to you about my thesis proposal. 1562 01:04:24,728 --> 01:04:26,363 You know what? 1563 01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:27,898 Nevermind, thank you. 1564 01:04:30,667 --> 01:04:33,837 October fourth, a breakthrough. 1565 01:04:33,837 --> 01:04:35,505 A revelation. 1566 01:04:35,505 --> 01:04:37,641 My path has become clear. 1567 01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:39,609 My vision, swept clean. 1568 01:04:39,609 --> 01:04:42,446 The subject of my thesis was to be some bullshit. 1569 01:04:42,446 --> 01:04:43,647 Leading candidate, 1570 01:04:43,647 --> 01:04:45,149 something about cable news Chairans 1571 01:04:45,149 --> 01:04:48,085 and their impact to tell on, I don't know. 1572 01:04:48,085 --> 01:04:52,056 But by God, it was going to be some clever bullshit. 1573 01:04:52,056 --> 01:04:53,924 Something that manufactures deep meaning 1574 01:04:53,924 --> 01:04:55,993 from superficial symbols. 1575 01:04:55,993 --> 01:04:57,928 Something so, oh Jesus, 1576 01:04:57,928 --> 01:04:59,096 something so fucking meta 1577 01:04:59,096 --> 01:05:01,098 that next years freshmen will do a study, 1578 01:05:03,067 --> 01:05:04,301 of my study. 1579 01:05:04,301 --> 01:05:05,402 In other words, 1580 01:05:07,137 --> 01:05:08,338 convoluted and self-referential, 1581 01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:09,473 just the way the department likes it. 1582 01:05:09,473 --> 01:05:10,307 But then, 1583 01:05:11,741 --> 01:05:12,576 I met her. 1584 01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:15,279 And scrapped all that 1585 01:05:15,279 --> 01:05:17,847 for something that might get me expelled. 1586 01:05:17,847 --> 01:05:20,084 We academics look down our nose. 1587 01:05:20,084 --> 01:05:22,052 We call her a doer, not a thinker. 1588 01:05:22,052 --> 01:05:24,121 A lowly contractor in a room full of architects. 1589 01:05:24,121 --> 01:05:25,990 Her worth is less in our eyes, 1590 01:05:25,990 --> 01:05:27,191 and statistically in the workplace, 1591 01:05:27,191 --> 01:05:28,492 because she comes in and doers by sheep skin. 1592 01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:29,826 No matter how versatile her mind, 1593 01:05:29,826 --> 01:05:32,062 we cite the superiority of theoretical 1594 01:05:32,062 --> 01:05:33,263 knowledge over applied. 1595 01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,465 Without Newton, there would be no NASA. 1596 01:05:35,465 --> 01:05:37,501 No, no, fucking gene therapy 1597 01:05:37,501 --> 01:05:38,435 without Watson and Cricketts. 1598 01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:39,703 How we reassure ourselves 1599 01:05:39,703 --> 01:05:40,637 we didn't just pitch our tuition 1600 01:05:40,637 --> 01:05:42,006 down a fucking rabbit hole. 1601 01:05:42,006 --> 01:05:45,709 So my thesis will be an experiment. 1602 01:05:46,743 --> 01:05:49,179 Proof or disproof of hypothesis. 1603 01:05:51,648 --> 01:05:53,217 The only thing studied by Media Studies 1604 01:05:53,217 --> 01:05:55,852 is the color of the emperor's new clothes. 1605 01:05:55,852 --> 01:05:57,121 I will send out my course work 1606 01:05:57,121 --> 01:05:59,056 the way some students send out their laundry. 1607 01:05:59,056 --> 01:06:01,191 Every assignment ginned up 1608 01:06:01,191 --> 01:06:04,261 by someone who unequivocally disbelieves every word. 1609 01:06:04,261 --> 01:06:05,729 At the end of this, 1610 01:06:05,729 --> 01:06:07,297 all it takes for a diploma 1611 01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:09,799 is to show up and pay up. 1612 01:06:11,768 --> 01:06:15,005 Then she is not the only paper store around here. 1613 01:06:19,776 --> 01:06:22,179 - Thought telling me this would make things better. 1614 01:06:23,847 --> 01:06:25,982 - Why did you tell him? 1615 01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:27,684 - Because you already lied to me. 1616 01:06:27,684 --> 01:06:29,386 - No, no about us. 1617 01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:30,487 Why did you tell him? 1618 01:06:32,556 --> 01:06:34,224 - 'Cause it was part of the story. 1619 01:06:40,630 --> 01:06:43,033 I don't care what I turn into, 1620 01:06:43,033 --> 01:06:45,069 just as long as there's no statue. 1621 01:06:45,069 --> 01:06:47,771 I'm gonna get cremated. 1622 01:06:47,771 --> 01:06:49,239 Yeah well leave me with that stupid urn 1623 01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:52,509 that looks like some bowling trophy thing. 1624 01:06:53,710 --> 01:06:55,312 And have someone scatter you. 1625 01:06:55,312 --> 01:06:56,246 - Only if they want to. 1626 01:06:56,246 --> 01:06:57,214 I don't remember saying that. 1627 01:06:57,214 --> 01:06:58,415 When did I say that? 1628 01:06:58,415 --> 01:06:59,583 The Canyon, like-- 1629 01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:03,353 - I don't have them. 1630 01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:04,188 What? 1631 01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:05,021 - Your papers. 1632 01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:06,623 I don't have the papers. 1633 01:07:06,623 --> 01:07:07,457 - Bullshit. 1634 01:07:08,792 --> 01:07:11,128 - No, the day Marty called, I threw 'em out. 1635 01:07:11,128 --> 01:07:12,796 I put 'em in a sack, 1636 01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:15,432 and drowned them in the river like feral cats. 1637 01:07:15,432 --> 01:07:16,466 - Appalachian trail. 1638 01:07:16,466 --> 01:07:17,467 Now your poor kids-- 1639 01:07:18,335 --> 01:07:19,236 I feel sick. 1640 01:07:19,236 --> 01:07:20,170 You should. 1641 01:07:20,170 --> 01:07:21,438 Those cats deserve better. 1642 01:07:21,438 --> 01:07:23,640 - You never even read them, you lousy fuck. 1643 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:24,774 I read them. 1644 01:07:26,143 --> 01:07:29,079 - Where be the bitches in this here film? 1645 01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,707 - Get out a blank piece of paper. 1646 01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:01,077 We're gonna have a quiz on Goddard. 1647 01:08:04,848 --> 01:08:06,383 - Ogden, minus three. 1648 01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:07,717 Archieti minus five. 1649 01:08:07,717 --> 01:08:09,786 I mean, minus nine. 1650 01:08:09,786 --> 01:08:11,155 Dowd, minus five. 1651 01:08:11,155 --> 01:08:13,857 - Three, nine, and minus five. 1652 01:08:13,857 --> 01:08:14,791 - Minus five, yeah. 1653 01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:17,627 - Next. 1654 01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:18,962 - Rossdale, absent. 1655 01:08:18,962 --> 01:08:20,264 Hooper, minus five. 1656 01:08:20,264 --> 01:08:22,566 - How irritating. - What? 1657 01:08:22,566 --> 01:08:23,767 - When they miss their quiz days. 1658 01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:26,136 They know what it does for their grade. 1659 01:08:26,136 --> 01:08:27,070 Alright, you know what, 1660 01:08:27,070 --> 01:08:29,373 I'll double grade 'em Friday, 1661 01:08:29,373 --> 01:08:30,207 and I'll just, 1662 01:08:31,641 --> 01:08:34,110 I'll ask for a one page abstract on any topic. 1663 01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:35,179 - What are you doing? 1664 01:08:36,180 --> 01:08:37,214 Sigurd got a zero. 1665 01:08:38,081 --> 01:08:39,349 - Yes? 1666 01:08:39,349 --> 01:08:42,085 - So he gets a zero, that's how it works. 1667 01:08:42,085 --> 01:08:43,320 You don't do extra credit. 1668 01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:46,490 That's what you said. - Of course, of course. 1669 01:08:47,857 --> 01:08:51,027 You think it was an isolated incident, his absence? 1670 01:08:53,597 --> 01:08:54,498 - I wouldn't know. 1671 01:08:57,401 --> 01:08:59,703 If he wants to fuck off all day, that's his business. 1672 01:08:59,703 --> 01:09:01,471 - Not when my tenure review is nigh. 1673 01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:02,406 I got seven failing kids, 1674 01:09:02,406 --> 01:09:04,341 that's a quarter of the class. 1675 01:09:04,341 --> 01:09:05,609 Very inauspicious group. 1676 01:09:05,609 --> 01:09:06,943 - Well if you let him off the hook, 1677 01:09:06,943 --> 01:09:08,545 it's not fair to the kids that showed up. 1678 01:09:08,545 --> 01:09:09,979 - Pardon me if I add a grain of salt 1679 01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:11,848 to your ethics advice. 1680 01:09:11,848 --> 01:09:14,851 - What did Sigurd do with the last two chances you gave him? 1681 01:09:18,622 --> 01:09:19,456 - Does that hurt? 1682 01:09:22,926 --> 01:09:24,127 - It's fine. 1683 01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:29,866 The tenure committee, they want to see success. 1684 01:09:29,866 --> 01:09:30,967 Is that the deal? 1685 01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,570 So what about the other seven kids? 1686 01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:36,740 And you didn't pull all those strings 1687 01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:39,876 to have me take roll and pass out quizzes. 1688 01:09:43,547 --> 01:09:44,848 Good afternoon, all. 1689 01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:47,884 Professor Kane got stuck in a meeting, 1690 01:09:47,884 --> 01:09:50,119 so I'll be teaching class today. 1691 01:09:53,757 --> 01:09:57,494 So, today we'll be looking at "Grindhouse." 1692 01:09:57,494 --> 01:10:01,498 A term you probably know because of Tarantino. 1693 01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:06,035 After all, he was a fanboy before he was a thief. 1694 01:10:11,140 --> 01:10:16,145 First, let's discuss 1943's "Lady of Burlesque" 1695 01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:17,881 which coined the term 1696 01:10:19,249 --> 01:10:22,218 named for the bump and grind houses of 42nd Street. 1697 01:10:28,091 --> 01:10:29,559 Let's back up a step. 1698 01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:31,227 What's "Grindhouse?" 1699 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:32,061 Amanda. 1700 01:10:33,129 --> 01:10:34,097 - I don't know. 1701 01:10:34,097 --> 01:10:36,266 We haven't covered that yet. 1702 01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,167 - Bishop, what's "Grindhouse?" 1703 01:10:39,869 --> 01:10:40,837 - Mandy's right, we haven't-- 1704 01:10:40,837 --> 01:10:42,806 - Emily, what's "Grindhouse?" 1705 01:10:42,806 --> 01:10:43,773 - Hey that's not fair. 1706 01:10:43,773 --> 01:10:44,908 She's in your study group. 1707 01:10:44,908 --> 01:10:46,476 - Look, you can't give us a quiz 1708 01:10:46,476 --> 01:10:47,877 on something we haven't learned yet. 1709 01:10:47,877 --> 01:10:50,847 Yeah. 1710 01:10:50,847 --> 01:10:52,181 - Guys. 1711 01:10:52,181 --> 01:10:53,450 This isn't a quiz. 1712 01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,684 This is just to get you thinking. 1713 01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:55,919 So, don't wait for me. 1714 01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:57,220 Just call it out. 1715 01:10:57,220 --> 01:10:59,188 How do you know it's a grind house flick? 1716 01:10:59,188 --> 01:11:00,290 - Violence. 1717 01:11:00,290 --> 01:11:01,224 - Violence. 1718 01:11:01,224 --> 01:11:02,726 - Violence and casual sex. 1719 01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:05,962 - Casual sex. 1720 01:11:05,962 --> 01:11:07,263 What else? 1721 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:08,998 - It's always all grainy looking. 1722 01:11:08,998 --> 01:11:11,034 - Low budget production. 1723 01:11:11,034 --> 01:11:12,969 - Well that's something that can be faked, right? 1724 01:11:12,969 --> 01:11:13,903 - Yes. 1725 01:11:13,903 --> 01:11:15,138 You can. 1726 01:11:15,138 --> 01:11:16,473 Why? 1727 01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,408 Why would someone try and replicate that? 1728 01:11:18,408 --> 01:11:20,009 - 'Cause you don't want to see a bunch of shiny shit. 1729 01:11:20,009 --> 01:11:21,511 You want to see real shit. 1730 01:11:21,511 --> 01:11:25,415 - Oh my God, you people are so surfacey. 1731 01:11:25,415 --> 01:11:28,318 It's about like fucking female vengeance. 1732 01:11:28,318 --> 01:11:31,688 Women kicking fucking ass. 1733 01:11:31,688 --> 01:11:33,056 - In the back. 1734 01:11:33,056 --> 01:11:34,824 - Someone drives the grind house. 1735 01:11:34,824 --> 01:11:36,393 What else? 1736 01:11:36,393 --> 01:11:37,527 Rape and pillaging. 1737 01:11:37,527 --> 01:11:39,796 - Rape and pillaging. 1738 01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:41,431 Porn, porn. 1739 01:11:41,431 --> 01:11:43,533 So why is porn different? 1740 01:11:43,533 --> 01:11:44,534 - Consent? 1741 01:11:48,938 --> 01:11:50,840 - Absolutely make sure you write 1742 01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:52,676 this one down for Kane's final. 1743 01:11:52,676 --> 01:11:56,413 But this is only the origin story. 1744 01:11:56,413 --> 01:11:59,148 How things began is such a small part 1745 01:11:59,148 --> 01:12:00,116 of what they become. 1746 01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:45,529 See you in class. 1747 01:12:45,529 --> 01:12:48,598 Probably not. 1748 01:12:50,467 --> 01:12:51,835 - It's not even that generous. 1749 01:12:51,835 --> 01:12:54,504 It's like, look how many people miss me. 1750 01:12:54,504 --> 01:12:57,541 And my stone palace. - So stupid. 1751 01:12:59,342 --> 01:13:00,710 - In the end. 1752 01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,579 It is why we want credit. 1753 01:13:02,579 --> 01:13:03,880 For having been. 1754 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:05,782 - Yeah, it's not our best feature. 1755 01:13:05,782 --> 01:13:07,283 Why don't we leave departed on a mountainside 1756 01:13:07,283 --> 01:13:08,918 for buzzards like the good old days? 1757 01:13:08,918 --> 01:13:11,020 - Some cultures still do that. 1758 01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:14,624 You need a mountainside, kinda. 1759 01:13:14,624 --> 01:13:15,859 - Don't say never, 1760 01:13:15,859 --> 01:13:18,194 your people are far too squeamish about bones. 1761 01:13:18,194 --> 01:13:20,664 - I like the notion of nature taking it back. 1762 01:13:22,265 --> 01:13:23,700 Grass. 1763 01:13:23,700 --> 01:13:25,435 Coming up from the sidewalks. 1764 01:13:25,435 --> 01:13:28,572 Railroad ties dissolving into the ground. 1765 01:13:28,572 --> 01:13:29,639 - Are you gonna be a railroad tie? 1766 01:13:29,639 --> 01:13:30,740 - Yeah. 1767 01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:32,008 Beats being a mummy. 1768 01:13:32,008 --> 01:13:34,711 In a fucking forever box like these guys. 1769 01:13:34,711 --> 01:13:36,613 - I don't care what I turn into. 1770 01:13:36,613 --> 01:13:38,615 Just as long as there's no statue. 1771 01:13:38,615 --> 01:13:40,717 - Why don't you get cremated? 1772 01:13:41,851 --> 01:13:43,086 - No, then you have that stupid urn 1773 01:13:43,086 --> 01:13:47,023 that looks like some bowling trophy thing. 1774 01:13:47,023 --> 01:13:48,925 - Have someone scatter you, then. 1775 01:13:48,925 --> 01:13:50,126 - Only if they want to. 1776 01:13:50,126 --> 01:13:51,761 If someone wants to take a road trip 1777 01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:54,297 and dump me in the canyon like Donny Karabotsels, go nuts. 1778 01:13:54,297 --> 01:13:57,200 But no fucking way am I leaving instructions. 1779 01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:58,668 That's like worse than a monument. 1780 01:13:58,668 --> 01:14:00,236 That's like saying from now on, 1781 01:14:00,236 --> 01:14:02,071 this canyon is fucking mine. 1782 01:14:02,071 --> 01:14:04,007 I mean, it's just bossy. 1783 01:14:04,007 --> 01:14:07,711 This fucking command from beyond the grave. 1784 01:14:07,711 --> 01:14:10,113 Dump my ashes on the Appalachian trail. 1785 01:14:10,113 --> 01:14:12,048 Now your poor kid's gotta do all this hiking 1786 01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:14,350 to dump your ashes in some deer turds 1787 01:14:14,350 --> 01:14:16,853 so you can be part of the everlasting cycle. 1788 01:14:16,853 --> 01:14:19,188 Your kid can't go walking in the woods now 1789 01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:21,057 without thinking about fucking death. 1790 01:14:27,897 --> 01:14:29,298 - I'd scatter you somewhere. 1791 01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:32,301 - It's on you. 1792 01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:39,008 I'd scatter you everywhere. 1793 01:14:39,008 --> 01:14:39,909 Really. 1794 01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:41,244 Yeah. 1795 01:14:44,748 --> 01:14:46,783 - Hooper, talk to me about "The Fly," go. 1796 01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:50,419 - Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis, 1986. 1797 01:14:50,419 --> 01:14:52,188 - This isn't trivia night, themes. 1798 01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:53,523 - Themes, themes. 1799 01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,424 I'm bad at these. 1800 01:14:55,424 --> 01:14:56,593 Emily help him out. 1801 01:14:56,593 --> 01:15:00,163 - Oh, the primary theme is transformation. 1802 01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,498 Mainly because he turns into-- - A fly, it's a fly. 1803 01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,400 - Good, Emily, because transformation 1804 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:05,769 is the scientists' goal, too. 1805 01:15:05,769 --> 01:15:07,003 - No, what? 1806 01:15:07,003 --> 01:15:08,705 - No, it's because he wanted to teleport. 1807 01:15:08,705 --> 01:15:09,573 - Yeah, but-- 1808 01:15:09,573 --> 01:15:10,807 - My notes say teleport. 1809 01:15:10,807 --> 01:15:12,776 - Yes, but what is teleportation? 1810 01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:15,945 - You know, like, up, there, over there. 1811 01:15:15,945 --> 01:15:17,781 Teleport. 1812 01:15:17,781 --> 01:15:19,015 - Can one of you please just answer 1813 01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:20,083 without looking at your notes 1814 01:15:20,083 --> 01:15:21,785 to see what Kane told you to say? 1815 01:15:21,785 --> 01:15:23,019 - I didn't look at my notes. 1816 01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:23,787 - That's 'cause you didn't take any notes. 1817 01:15:25,388 --> 01:15:27,290 - She's getting on you. 1818 01:15:31,928 --> 01:15:33,496 - Yeah. 1819 01:15:33,496 --> 01:15:34,898 I mean, me too, it was okay. 1820 01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:37,967 - What if we just focus 1821 01:15:37,967 --> 01:15:39,002 on what's gonna be on the midterm 1822 01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:40,236 instead of the papers? 1823 01:15:40,236 --> 01:15:41,304 I mean, isn't that a bigger portion 1824 01:15:41,304 --> 01:15:42,572 of our grade, anyway? 1825 01:15:42,572 --> 01:15:43,740 - Yeah, I mean, if I do good on that, 1826 01:15:43,740 --> 01:15:45,241 I'm gonna get a C, right? 1827 01:15:45,241 --> 01:15:46,509 Fucking tight. 1828 01:15:47,611 --> 01:15:48,945 - Why is that alright? 1829 01:15:48,945 --> 01:15:50,313 Why is that tight, Hoop? 1830 01:15:50,313 --> 01:15:51,581 Don't you want an A? 1831 01:15:51,581 --> 01:15:53,917 - If I got an A, someone would think I cheated. 1832 01:15:53,917 --> 01:15:55,384 - What if I told you that right now 1833 01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:57,053 you're probably sitting on an A? 1834 01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:57,987 No I'm not. 1835 01:15:57,987 --> 01:15:59,522 You said last week that I got-- 1836 01:15:59,522 --> 01:16:02,058 - Beginning of term, you have 5,000 points available to you. 1837 01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:03,927 You can afford to lose 500 of those 1838 01:16:03,927 --> 01:16:05,194 and still get an A. 1839 01:16:05,194 --> 01:16:06,963 I mean, Emily is right, the grades are weighted, 1840 01:16:06,963 --> 01:16:08,798 so the final and midterm count 1841 01:16:08,798 --> 01:16:11,067 for more than all the quizzes combined. 1842 01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:13,737 But right now all of you have As. 1843 01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:18,675 - Wait, I mean, it's the same, right? 1844 01:16:18,675 --> 01:16:20,543 Like, math-wise. 1845 01:16:20,543 --> 01:16:22,278 - Well it is, but we're just looking at it 1846 01:16:22,278 --> 01:16:23,947 from a different direction. 1847 01:16:23,947 --> 01:16:25,514 Hooper, a few weeks ago, 1848 01:16:25,514 --> 01:16:28,284 the unreliable nerd, or what did you say? 1849 01:16:28,284 --> 01:16:29,218 - "Fight Club." 1850 01:16:29,218 --> 01:16:31,120 - Right, what did Marty say? 1851 01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:31,955 - Derivative. 1852 01:16:31,955 --> 01:16:33,256 - You weren't wrong. 1853 01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:34,290 You should know that. 1854 01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:37,093 I mean, "Fight Club" won't be on the midterm. 1855 01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:38,294 You should know that too. 1856 01:16:38,294 --> 01:16:40,463 But you weren't wrong. 1857 01:16:40,463 --> 01:16:41,665 Yeah, it's like he was just 1858 01:16:41,665 --> 01:16:43,867 thinking about it from another direction. 1859 01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:47,837 So is "The Fly" gonna be on the midterm? 1860 01:16:47,837 --> 01:16:48,805 - Sure. 1861 01:16:48,805 --> 01:16:50,774 Alright then. 1862 01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:52,008 - What about... - It's 'cause of 1863 01:16:52,008 --> 01:16:53,176 all the little bits. 1864 01:16:54,577 --> 01:16:57,380 Like, when he teleports, 1865 01:16:57,380 --> 01:17:00,183 all the little-- - Molecules. 1866 01:17:01,617 --> 01:17:04,654 - They gotta go back the same way they were before. 1867 01:17:04,654 --> 01:17:07,156 But I mean, things don't work like that. 1868 01:17:07,156 --> 01:17:10,259 Every time you move, you change what's around you. 1869 01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:11,695 When what's around you is different, 1870 01:17:11,695 --> 01:17:13,730 that makes you different. 1871 01:17:13,730 --> 01:17:15,965 Every molecule in him would know what it's like 1872 01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:18,167 to be apart from the other ones. 1873 01:17:18,167 --> 01:17:19,869 Even if a fly never got in there, 1874 01:17:19,869 --> 01:17:22,305 he was always looking to change. 1875 01:17:22,305 --> 01:17:24,373 It just didn't happen the way he expects. 1876 01:17:25,574 --> 01:17:27,043 - Swear to me you didn't write this. 1877 01:17:28,011 --> 01:17:28,845 - It's all him. 1878 01:17:30,513 --> 01:17:32,916 - I mean, he couldn't have written this three weeks ago. 1879 01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:34,383 - He's been working his ass off. 1880 01:17:34,383 --> 01:17:36,519 - That you could squeeze this from a stone. 1881 01:17:39,222 --> 01:17:40,423 - Aren't you gonna grade it? 1882 01:17:40,423 --> 01:17:42,125 - No, no, not now, later. 1883 01:17:42,125 --> 01:17:43,592 The committee, I swear to you, 1884 01:17:43,592 --> 01:17:46,963 they want every academic journal I've ever appeared in. 1885 01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:47,931 - Is that a lot? 1886 01:17:47,931 --> 01:17:49,198 - No. 1887 01:17:49,198 --> 01:17:51,400 So I've got to get a really nice binder. 1888 01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:53,169 Don't worry. 1889 01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:57,073 I am humbled and amazed. 1890 01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:58,174 Keep up the good work. 1891 01:18:37,313 --> 01:18:39,282 - Sigurd Rossdale, Professor Marty Kane. 1892 01:18:39,282 --> 01:18:43,119 Media Studies 516, April 12th. 1893 01:18:43,119 --> 01:18:44,387 Final make-up assignment. 1894 01:18:44,387 --> 01:18:47,356 Topic, Alpha 60 versus Eric Harris. 1895 01:18:49,525 --> 01:18:50,760 Everyone has thought 1896 01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:51,694 about killing himself. - Everyone has 1897 01:18:51,694 --> 01:18:52,929 thought about killing himself. 1898 01:18:52,929 --> 01:18:53,763 Everyone. 1899 01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:58,301 For the privilege of the dead is to die no more. 1900 01:19:02,438 --> 01:19:04,640 The hard part's getting the note right. 1901 01:19:04,640 --> 01:19:08,077 Something quiet and stoic, dignified. 1902 01:19:09,946 --> 01:19:11,314 Football season is over. 1903 01:19:12,849 --> 01:19:14,350 Brooks was here. 1904 01:19:17,686 --> 01:19:21,557 Maybe it's better then to go out big and loud, 1905 01:19:22,926 --> 01:19:24,427 like Private Pyle. 1906 01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:26,195 Your meeting crystal fucking clear. 1907 01:19:26,195 --> 01:19:27,630 Make sure you storm out 1908 01:19:27,630 --> 01:19:29,465 just so no one thinks you limped away. 1909 01:19:30,834 --> 01:19:32,068 And my thesis was definitely 1910 01:19:32,068 --> 01:19:33,269 intended as a kind of suicide bomb. 1911 01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:35,504 I might not have known it at the time, 1912 01:19:35,504 --> 01:19:36,739 or maybe I did. 1913 01:19:36,739 --> 01:19:38,875 I mean, Jesus, and least snake oil moisturizes, 1914 01:19:38,875 --> 01:19:40,810 but what are you people selling? 1915 01:19:40,810 --> 01:19:42,778 What system just lets a mind like Annalee 1916 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:44,080 walk out the door, 1917 01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:45,614 but goes out of its way to find 1918 01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:47,316 an indefinite home for me? 1919 01:19:47,316 --> 01:19:49,318 This place is nothing but a coven 1920 01:19:49,318 --> 01:19:51,454 of criminal naval gauges and I, 1921 01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:53,656 I plant to lay waste to it. 1922 01:19:55,424 --> 01:19:57,526 In hindsight, I can pinpoint exactly when 1923 01:19:57,526 --> 01:19:58,962 I knew I was in trouble. 1924 01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:02,465 We were watching "Ordinary People" of all things. 1925 01:20:02,465 --> 01:20:03,933 She couldn't sit still. 1926 01:20:03,933 --> 01:20:05,801 White people problems. 1927 01:20:05,801 --> 01:20:08,972 But every time Mary Tyler Moore hit screen 1928 01:20:08,972 --> 01:20:11,640 as that pastel cyborg of a mother, 1929 01:20:12,675 --> 01:20:14,010 Annalee's back went rigid. 1930 01:20:15,879 --> 01:20:17,446 Like she'd witnessed a hanging. 1931 01:20:19,682 --> 01:20:20,716 We're at the climax. 1932 01:20:20,716 --> 01:20:24,087 Donald Sutherland weeps at her. 1933 01:20:24,087 --> 01:20:25,188 We'd have been alright 1934 01:20:25,188 --> 01:20:27,390 if there hadn't been any mess. 1935 01:20:27,390 --> 01:20:29,258 But you can't handle mess. 1936 01:20:29,258 --> 01:20:31,360 - There's your mess, bitch. 1937 01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:32,595 There it is. 1938 01:20:32,595 --> 01:20:34,630 I tried to deny it for a few weeks, 1939 01:20:34,630 --> 01:20:36,732 but the flaw in my theory was obvious. 1940 01:20:38,234 --> 01:20:40,603 However little she thought of the source material 1941 01:20:40,603 --> 01:20:41,537 or the professor, 1942 01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:44,807 something in the work itself 1943 01:20:44,807 --> 01:20:46,642 just lit her up like a kid 1944 01:20:46,642 --> 01:20:48,244 who just learned how to cartwheel. 1945 01:20:48,244 --> 01:20:49,879 And how could I blow that up? 1946 01:20:51,981 --> 01:20:53,249 On the other hand, 1947 01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:55,718 if I told her just how many different ways 1948 01:20:55,718 --> 01:20:56,986 I'd been lying to her, 1949 01:20:56,986 --> 01:20:58,387 that she'd never speak to me again. 1950 01:20:58,387 --> 01:21:00,623 No matter how much money I owed her. 1951 01:21:00,623 --> 01:21:03,292 So I did what academics do best. 1952 01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:05,628 Nothing. 1953 01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:09,232 I sat quietly by. 1954 01:21:09,232 --> 01:21:12,001 Impartially observing my experiment 1955 01:21:12,001 --> 01:21:15,404 while she felt abandoned and enraged. 1956 01:21:16,906 --> 01:21:19,442 I impartially observed as she 1957 01:21:19,442 --> 01:21:20,676 grew to hate me. 1958 01:21:23,046 --> 01:21:24,313 I decided to come clean. 1959 01:21:24,313 --> 01:21:25,548 Picked a day and everything. 1960 01:21:25,548 --> 01:21:27,783 But of course as we all know, 1961 01:21:27,783 --> 01:21:30,419 what happens when Lisa finally does the right thing? 1962 01:21:30,419 --> 01:21:32,688 She fucks up spelling her word, 1963 01:21:32,688 --> 01:21:33,722 and loses everything. 1964 01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:38,327 Maybe this is too mainstream an idea 1965 01:21:38,327 --> 01:21:39,695 for Alternative Cinema, 1966 01:21:39,695 --> 01:21:42,131 but a broken heart. 1967 01:21:42,131 --> 01:21:43,933 - Just as long as there's no statue. 1968 01:21:45,434 --> 01:21:48,504 Is only cliche when it's not your heart. 1969 01:21:48,504 --> 01:21:49,338 - I don't remember saying that. 1970 01:21:49,338 --> 01:21:50,806 When did I say that? 1971 01:21:50,806 --> 01:21:52,608 She has erased everything about me. 1972 01:21:52,608 --> 01:21:54,443 Except the part where I ruined her life. 1973 01:21:56,412 --> 01:22:00,316 So, as much as I have wanted to swoop in, somehow, 1974 01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:03,987 and save Annalee from your professorial treadmill, 1975 01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:10,759 I guess we just all have our chrysalis phase. 1976 01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:14,597 Caterpillars become moths. 1977 01:22:15,598 --> 01:22:17,166 Students become teachers. 1978 01:22:20,303 --> 01:22:22,938 Even a tree that falls in the forest 1979 01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:24,540 sometimes become a railroad tie, 1980 01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:27,343 waiting to rot back into the Earth. 1981 01:22:28,744 --> 01:22:31,514 This paper officially fulfills my obligation, Professor. 1982 01:22:31,514 --> 01:22:33,716 That means no honor board hearing. 1983 01:22:33,716 --> 01:22:34,750 She's safe, 1984 01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:38,487 and you can go shit in your hat. 1985 01:22:39,622 --> 01:22:42,691 I quit. 1986 01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,768 - Please, come in. 1987 01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:56,772 Just clear off any seat, make yourself at home. 1988 01:22:59,008 --> 01:23:00,243 Red Bull? 1989 01:23:00,243 --> 01:23:02,145 Or would you like something with pep? 1990 01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:03,046 - I'm fine. 1991 01:23:06,815 --> 01:23:07,650 - So. 1992 01:23:09,085 --> 01:23:12,321 To what do I owe this unexpected visit? 1993 01:23:14,723 --> 01:23:16,125 - This says Sigurd Rossdale. 1994 01:23:17,893 --> 01:23:19,328 - So? 1995 01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:20,329 - You said you were letting him go. 1996 01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,497 - Now when did I say that? 1997 01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:23,066 - I rescue the seven failing kids, 1998 01:23:23,066 --> 01:23:24,567 you give him the grade he deserves. 1999 01:23:24,567 --> 01:23:25,668 That's the deal. 2000 01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:28,304 - How do you know he doesn't deserve this grade? 2001 01:23:28,304 --> 01:23:29,372 - An A minus? 2002 01:23:31,140 --> 01:23:32,775 Maybe I didn't know it was to which 2003 01:23:32,775 --> 01:23:34,543 hat he was referring. 2004 01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:45,221 - Oh no. 2005 01:23:47,723 --> 01:23:48,957 Oh Christ. 2006 01:23:48,957 --> 01:23:50,626 - Did you bother to read it at all? 2007 01:23:51,894 --> 01:23:54,397 - I haven't read his stuff in weeks. 2008 01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:55,231 It's drivel. 2009 01:23:56,632 --> 01:24:00,736 It's the half romantic rantings of the deranged. 2010 01:24:00,736 --> 01:24:01,937 If he's not gonna take this seriously, 2011 01:24:01,937 --> 01:24:02,938 why should I give him the time? 2012 01:24:02,938 --> 01:24:04,307 - Because you're his teacher, 2013 01:24:04,307 --> 01:24:06,309 and that's what he pays you for. 2014 01:24:06,309 --> 01:24:08,611 - There are people one pays to care about you. 2015 01:24:09,612 --> 01:24:11,080 They're not called teachers. 2016 01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:12,781 - Then what the hell have I been doing, 2017 01:24:12,781 --> 01:24:14,317 busting my ass? - Anna, I'm not gonna 2018 01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:16,252 flunk Sigurd, I can't. 2019 01:24:17,286 --> 01:24:18,954 My tenure review is next week. 2020 01:24:18,954 --> 01:24:21,090 - But I told you, these kids I've been working with-- 2021 01:24:21,090 --> 01:24:23,626 - Oh please, I don't care about these kids. 2022 01:24:23,626 --> 01:24:26,061 Fuck 'em, they mean nothing. 2023 01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:28,664 It's too much deviation from the norm. 2024 01:24:28,664 --> 01:24:30,599 What is the committee gonna say? 2025 01:24:30,599 --> 01:24:33,669 My barely functioning sophomores 2026 01:24:33,669 --> 01:24:35,604 are now in the 98 percentile. 2027 01:24:35,604 --> 01:24:37,906 Okay, there's a big red flag. 2028 01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:39,708 My best grad student, 2029 01:24:39,708 --> 01:24:42,711 he's flunking a 200-level. 2030 01:24:42,711 --> 01:24:44,713 Another red flag. 2031 01:24:44,713 --> 01:24:46,849 They're outliers. 2032 01:24:46,849 --> 01:24:48,651 The committee's gonna want to know why. 2033 01:24:48,651 --> 01:24:49,885 Who's this new TA? - Don't. 2034 01:24:49,885 --> 01:24:51,120 - What are we doing different? 2035 01:24:51,120 --> 01:24:52,721 What kind of strings did I have to pull 2036 01:24:52,721 --> 01:24:54,223 to get you here, huh? 2037 01:24:54,223 --> 01:24:56,058 Would you like to explain the previous six years? 2038 01:24:56,058 --> 01:24:57,260 - Fuck, Marty. 2039 01:24:57,260 --> 01:24:58,161 Why did we even bother? - Because it's what 2040 01:24:58,161 --> 01:25:00,963 you wanted to hear. 2041 01:25:00,963 --> 01:25:02,030 There was never a solution 2042 01:25:02,030 --> 01:25:03,166 that didn't land these grades 2043 01:25:03,166 --> 01:25:04,600 in the middle of the fairway. 2044 01:25:05,801 --> 01:25:07,836 Now what you've done is outstanding work. 2045 01:25:09,905 --> 01:25:11,874 - What do they get in return? 2046 01:25:11,874 --> 01:25:13,676 - Their marks will show improvements. 2047 01:25:13,676 --> 01:25:14,510 Improvement? 2048 01:25:14,510 --> 01:25:16,612 - Yes, to a degree. 2049 01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:17,880 I'm not gonna give Hooper an A. 2050 01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:20,015 It won't seem like his work. 2051 01:25:20,015 --> 01:25:21,150 - His paper on "The Fly," 2052 01:25:21,150 --> 01:25:22,451 what grade did you give him? 2053 01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:23,719 I don't know. 2054 01:25:23,719 --> 01:25:25,521 - You said you were humbled and amazed. 2055 01:25:25,521 --> 01:25:26,422 What grade? 2056 01:25:26,422 --> 01:25:27,856 - I gave him a C plus. 2057 01:25:28,791 --> 01:25:29,992 Oh will you calm down? 2058 01:25:29,992 --> 01:25:31,460 A C plus-- - Fuck you, calm down. 2059 01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,596 - Oh don't be so overdramatic. 2060 01:25:33,596 --> 01:25:36,031 - When Hooper hears that grade, it'll ruin his life. 2061 01:25:36,031 --> 01:25:37,833 - Oh please. - Ruin his life, 2062 01:25:37,833 --> 01:25:40,536 because Hooper succeeding and Sigurd failing 2063 01:25:40,536 --> 01:25:42,205 might just fuck up your tenure. 2064 01:25:42,205 --> 01:25:43,606 - Yes. 2065 01:25:43,606 --> 01:25:47,109 Yes, it will fuck up my tenure. 2066 01:25:47,109 --> 01:25:49,612 Tenure is not a merit badge. 2067 01:25:49,612 --> 01:25:50,946 It's up or out. 2068 01:25:50,946 --> 01:25:53,382 Consolation prize, non-renewal. 2069 01:25:53,382 --> 01:25:54,683 But that's alright. 2070 01:25:54,683 --> 01:25:56,852 Because I'll just brush up my resume, 2071 01:25:56,852 --> 01:25:59,388 which now bears the skunk spray of rejection. 2072 01:26:00,556 --> 01:26:02,057 But I'm fine. 2073 01:26:02,057 --> 01:26:04,393 Because I'm sure I'll find a school 2074 01:26:04,393 --> 01:26:07,596 who's just itching to find a tenure track 2075 01:26:07,596 --> 01:26:09,765 for a recently passed over middle aged man. 2076 01:26:09,765 --> 01:26:11,900 - Tenure track isn't the only track there is. 2077 01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:14,437 - No, I can become an adjunct again. 2078 01:26:14,437 --> 01:26:17,072 The day laborer of University life. 2079 01:26:17,072 --> 01:26:20,175 Shit pay, no overtime, no insurance. 2080 01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:22,511 Not even unemployment. 2081 01:26:22,511 --> 01:26:24,313 - Well I hear Jamba Juice is hiring. 2082 01:26:25,614 --> 01:26:27,616 Get 'em back. 2083 01:26:27,616 --> 01:26:28,451 - He quit. 2084 01:26:29,318 --> 01:26:30,586 For real this time. 2085 01:26:30,586 --> 01:26:32,087 - I won't ask, you won't tell. 2086 01:26:34,089 --> 01:26:35,824 But I'm sure you have your methods. 2087 01:26:37,426 --> 01:26:40,496 And in three years when you're getting your doctorate, 2088 01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,432 you'll think back on this moment, 2089 01:26:45,401 --> 01:26:47,336 and exactly how you chose to thank me. 2090 01:27:11,260 --> 01:27:12,094 - Sigurd. 2091 01:27:13,662 --> 01:27:14,497 Sigurd. 2092 01:27:17,165 --> 01:27:18,567 Jesus. 2093 01:27:18,567 --> 01:27:21,804 What the fuck, you scared me. - What the fuck, you? 2094 01:27:21,804 --> 01:27:23,706 I'm not the one going in for the jugular. 2095 01:27:23,706 --> 01:27:26,742 What the hell happened to you? 2096 01:27:26,742 --> 01:27:27,576 - What? 2097 01:27:29,778 --> 01:27:30,579 Shit. 2098 01:27:31,714 --> 01:27:33,115 - Thought that whole killing yourself 2099 01:27:33,115 --> 01:27:34,850 thing was like a metaphor. 2100 01:27:35,718 --> 01:27:37,520 When's the last time you slept? 2101 01:27:37,520 --> 01:27:39,755 - About 30 seconds ago. 2102 01:27:40,689 --> 01:27:42,458 - That was some paper. 2103 01:27:42,458 --> 01:27:44,092 - Did Kane shit in his hat yet? 2104 01:27:44,092 --> 01:27:44,927 'Cause that would be awesome. 2105 01:27:44,927 --> 01:27:46,362 - Sigurd. 2106 01:27:46,362 --> 01:27:47,896 Sorry, I know he's your Yoda. 2107 01:27:47,896 --> 01:27:52,034 - He's not, he's not my Yoda, okay jackass? 2108 01:27:52,034 --> 01:27:54,202 Fuck Marty, he is nobody's Yoda. 2109 01:27:56,204 --> 01:27:57,640 Don't quit. 2110 01:27:57,640 --> 01:27:58,974 - It's done. 2111 01:27:58,974 --> 01:28:00,443 In the morning-- - Nothing's done. 2112 01:28:00,443 --> 01:28:01,310 I'm living proof. 2113 01:28:02,511 --> 01:28:04,447 No, you're the exception, always. 2114 01:28:04,447 --> 01:28:06,148 Just shut the fuck up. 2115 01:28:06,148 --> 01:28:07,416 We need your recordings. 2116 01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,251 All of them. 2117 01:28:09,251 --> 01:28:11,053 We're gonna take 'em to the Dean. 2118 01:28:11,053 --> 01:28:12,154 What's your password? 2119 01:28:12,154 --> 01:28:13,456 - What happened? 2120 01:28:13,456 --> 01:28:14,790 - He's a liar is all. 2121 01:28:16,024 --> 01:28:17,426 Password. 2122 01:28:17,426 --> 01:28:18,927 - No, I didn't do a million make-up assignments 2123 01:28:18,927 --> 01:28:20,295 so you could turn it in and get yourself expelled. 2124 01:28:20,295 --> 01:28:21,630 - Those make-ups had nothing to do 2125 01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:22,965 with academic integrity. 2126 01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:24,867 They were about keeping you on the hamster wheel 2127 01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:26,101 so he could get his tenure, 2128 01:28:26,101 --> 01:28:28,637 and I'm making damn sure he goes down with us. 2129 01:28:28,637 --> 01:28:30,473 What is your password? 2130 01:28:33,241 --> 01:28:34,109 - Cyrano. 2131 01:28:35,010 --> 01:28:36,412 Capital C and a zero. 2132 01:28:40,516 --> 01:28:42,618 It doesn't matter, anyway. 2133 01:28:42,618 --> 01:28:44,387 We both agreed to the terms. 2134 01:28:44,387 --> 01:28:47,222 - This from a guy who made his thesis into a bomb. 2135 01:28:47,222 --> 01:28:48,824 - Yeah I thought you might like that. 2136 01:28:48,824 --> 01:28:49,892 Did you like it? 2137 01:28:49,892 --> 01:28:51,093 - Can't decide. 2138 01:28:51,093 --> 01:28:53,028 On one hand, it seems incredibly stupid. 2139 01:28:53,028 --> 01:28:54,397 You had every reason to think 2140 01:28:54,397 --> 01:28:57,299 they'd just toss that proposal out on its ass. 2141 01:28:57,299 --> 01:28:58,901 - Yeah. - But in its own way, 2142 01:28:58,901 --> 01:29:00,536 it's kind of ingenious. 2143 01:29:00,536 --> 01:29:02,438 I mean, they almost have to say yes 2144 01:29:02,438 --> 01:29:03,672 if only to bury the thing, 2145 01:29:03,672 --> 01:29:05,508 and they toss you, you spy publish, 2146 01:29:05,508 --> 01:29:07,743 probably a bigger platform. 2147 01:29:07,743 --> 01:29:09,512 And as a certain wanker once said, 2148 01:29:09,512 --> 01:29:11,814 you mention cheating on a college campus. 2149 01:29:11,814 --> 01:29:13,348 - Fuck, I didn't even think about that. 2150 01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:14,617 I should have consulted you about this so much earlier. 2151 01:29:14,617 --> 01:29:16,251 Damn it, Sigurd. 2152 01:29:16,251 --> 01:29:17,520 Where the hell are those recordings? 2153 01:29:17,520 --> 01:29:18,521 - I don't have them. 2154 01:29:20,155 --> 01:29:21,390 - What? 2155 01:29:21,390 --> 01:29:23,225 - Yeah, I didn't need them anymore. 2156 01:29:23,225 --> 01:29:24,560 - God damn it, Sigurd. 2157 01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:26,094 Did you even take a breath 2158 01:29:26,094 --> 01:29:28,797 before trashing an entire semester's worth of work? 2159 01:29:31,400 --> 01:29:32,868 - Here's what I know. 2160 01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:39,141 My lie, no matter what the reason, hurt you. 2161 01:29:42,110 --> 01:29:44,747 And that is a scar I will always have to live with. 2162 01:29:46,181 --> 01:29:47,249 His lie. 2163 01:29:48,451 --> 01:29:52,354 However noxious, you're a fish who found water. 2164 01:29:52,354 --> 01:29:53,221 Be grateful. 2165 01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:57,826 If you threw this all out now, 2166 01:29:57,826 --> 01:29:59,227 you'd just be stupid. 2167 01:29:59,227 --> 01:30:01,263 And one thing you most definitely are not is stupid. 2168 01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:08,737 - Well, if throwing it all away is so stupid. 2169 01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:10,072 - Oh I fucking hate school. 2170 01:30:10,072 --> 01:30:11,474 It took me six and a half years 2171 01:30:11,474 --> 01:30:15,043 and a six figure loan to figure out I don't like school. 2172 01:30:15,043 --> 01:30:17,145 - Well I'm glad you found a zen about it. 2173 01:30:17,145 --> 01:30:19,247 Or at least a zen-aesthetic. 2174 01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:20,983 But I'm turning it the fuck in. 2175 01:30:20,983 --> 01:30:22,417 - Yeah, well I heard somewhere 2176 01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,720 that without evidence it's just an accusation. 2177 01:30:26,455 --> 01:30:27,289 - Sigurd. 2178 01:30:36,665 --> 01:30:38,634 Why didn't you tell me that-- 2179 01:30:46,408 --> 01:30:48,076 - I really hope you just burn 'em. 2180 01:31:16,505 --> 01:31:18,040 - Annalee. 2181 01:31:18,040 --> 01:31:19,374 Hey. 2182 01:31:19,374 --> 01:31:21,476 Hey, we got you something. 2183 01:31:21,476 --> 01:31:23,411 - Come on, Mitch, don't get it all sweaty. 2184 01:31:23,411 --> 01:31:25,313 It's a gift certificate. 2185 01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:26,715 - To the Apple store. 2186 01:31:26,715 --> 01:31:30,485 - Guys, this, you didn't need to do that. 2187 01:31:31,920 --> 01:31:34,823 - Well, anyways, congrats and thanks. 2188 01:31:34,823 --> 01:31:36,224 - Yeah, thanks again. 2189 01:31:49,838 --> 01:31:52,107 - Step one, get to the top. 2190 01:31:52,107 --> 01:31:53,642 Step two, open container. 2191 01:31:53,642 --> 01:31:55,510 - No one needs beer this bad. 2192 01:31:55,510 --> 01:31:56,779 - The point is the journey. 2193 01:31:56,779 --> 01:31:58,346 You are fucking with me. 2194 01:31:58,346 --> 01:31:59,748 A fellowship, huh? 2195 01:31:59,748 --> 01:32:00,949 They're sending me to England. 2196 01:32:00,949 --> 01:32:03,686 Oh, fancy pants. 2197 01:32:03,686 --> 01:32:06,622 I've been warned everyone says wanker there. 2198 01:32:06,622 --> 01:32:08,056 - You found your people then. 2199 01:32:09,625 --> 01:32:11,694 - And you are. 2200 01:32:13,495 --> 01:32:15,363 - Me and Lucy are doing alright. 2201 01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:19,534 You underestimated her, you know. 2202 01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:21,804 New brakes, new shocks, new blankets. 2203 01:32:24,072 --> 01:32:24,907 - The van. 2204 01:32:27,409 --> 01:32:29,511 Lucy is the van? 2205 01:32:29,511 --> 01:32:30,345 - Oh yeah. 2206 01:32:31,279 --> 01:32:32,414 The heat even works now. 2207 01:32:32,414 --> 01:32:33,315 AC doesn't. 2208 01:32:34,482 --> 01:32:36,318 - Sigurd, you're living in the van? 2209 01:32:36,318 --> 01:32:38,386 - Yeah, I mean it's the fastest way 2210 01:32:38,386 --> 01:32:39,822 to pay off the student loans. 2211 01:32:41,023 --> 01:32:41,857 It's okay, it's okay, really. 2212 01:32:41,857 --> 01:32:42,991 It gets me to work. 2213 01:32:44,226 --> 01:32:45,628 I blow shit up all day. 2214 01:32:46,662 --> 01:32:49,031 Gets me back to the state park. 2215 01:32:49,031 --> 01:32:50,232 Nature's taking me back. 2216 01:32:51,233 --> 01:32:52,434 - You kinda smell though. 2217 01:32:54,036 --> 01:32:55,704 - This is what nature smells like. 2218 01:32:58,073 --> 01:32:59,474 - Was she always called Lucy? 2219 01:33:01,677 --> 01:33:03,245 - Steering panel came loose, 2220 01:33:04,813 --> 01:33:06,882 and I feel like she needed a fresh start. 2221 01:33:06,882 --> 01:33:07,716 - Oh. 2222 01:33:12,788 --> 01:33:13,622 - So. 2223 01:33:14,589 --> 01:33:16,058 The weirdest thing. 2224 01:33:16,058 --> 01:33:19,094 There I am at the mail deposit box, 2225 01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:25,200 and out falls this fucking letter. 2226 01:33:26,735 --> 01:33:27,569 - Ass. 2227 01:33:28,837 --> 01:33:30,906 I've been sitting here waiting. 2228 01:33:32,107 --> 01:33:34,042 - Congratulations, Mr. Rossdale, thank you, 2229 01:33:34,042 --> 01:33:35,978 on the acceptance by the graduate studies committee. 2230 01:33:35,978 --> 01:33:37,612 - You just let me sit here the whole time. 2231 01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:38,914 - On your masters thesis. - Climbed eight 2232 01:33:38,914 --> 01:33:42,184 million stairs. - Requiem for a Ribwich. 2233 01:33:42,184 --> 01:33:44,586 - Swan song of classic homage. 2234 01:33:44,586 --> 01:33:45,788 - It's a pretty boss title. 2235 01:33:45,788 --> 01:33:47,322 They should have known it wasn't me. 2236 01:33:47,322 --> 01:33:48,556 Come on. 2237 01:33:48,556 --> 01:33:49,958 - Cover to cover, ginned up by someone 2238 01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:52,360 who disbelieves every word. 2239 01:33:52,360 --> 01:33:53,829 - Kane was wrong. 2240 01:33:53,829 --> 01:33:56,131 They will never invent software better than you. 2241 01:33:57,565 --> 01:33:59,101 - He has tenure now, you know. 2242 01:34:00,102 --> 01:34:01,336 His fucking tenure. 2243 01:34:01,336 --> 01:34:04,406 - Still I'm glad that you didn't turn him in. 2244 01:34:04,406 --> 01:34:05,373 This looks good on you. 2245 01:34:05,373 --> 01:34:06,942 - I really wanted to. 2246 01:34:06,942 --> 01:34:08,243 You know, I just really, 2247 01:34:09,544 --> 01:34:12,280 really really wanted to. 2248 01:34:12,280 --> 01:34:13,581 - That extra year of school 2249 01:34:13,581 --> 01:34:16,018 really broadened your vocabulary, didn't it? 2250 01:34:20,588 --> 01:34:24,592 - I burned the papers in the reservoir, 2251 01:34:24,592 --> 01:34:25,728 scattered the ash. 2252 01:34:26,795 --> 01:34:28,196 - It's what I would've done. 2253 01:34:29,464 --> 01:34:31,233 - No you wouldn't. 2254 01:34:31,233 --> 01:34:33,068 - I would, too. - No you would not. 2255 01:34:33,068 --> 01:34:35,137 - I would, too have. - You didn't even, 2256 01:34:35,137 --> 01:34:37,205 you had them in your luggage instead of clothes. 2257 01:34:37,205 --> 01:34:38,440 I mean, 2258 01:34:38,440 --> 01:34:40,108 what exactly were you gonna do with them? 2259 01:34:40,108 --> 01:34:42,044 - I don't know. 2260 01:34:42,044 --> 01:34:43,111 I don't know. 2261 01:34:44,813 --> 01:34:47,282 It's probably the same reason 2262 01:34:47,282 --> 01:34:49,718 I had that tape recorder in my pocket that night. 2263 01:34:51,119 --> 01:34:52,955 Even when I was trying to come clean. 2264 01:34:58,293 --> 01:35:00,028 - Because it was part of the story. 2265 01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:05,300 - Something like that. 2266 01:35:10,338 --> 01:35:12,507 I'm gonna get this framed. 2267 01:35:14,109 --> 01:35:16,311 Fucking masters degree. 2268 01:35:16,311 --> 01:35:18,680 Break glass in case of emergency. 2269 01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:21,750 Guys in the crew will love it. 2270 01:35:21,750 --> 01:35:24,652 - Where are you gonna frame it and hang it, in Lucy? 2271 01:35:24,652 --> 01:35:26,054 - Yeah, don't make fun. 2272 01:35:26,054 --> 01:35:26,889 She can hear you. - Oh. 2273 01:35:26,889 --> 01:35:28,023 - She has ears. 2274 01:35:28,023 --> 01:35:29,524 It's really nice in there now. 2275 01:35:30,692 --> 01:35:32,761 It's got the vanilla trees and everything. 2276 01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:35,563 Hey. 2277 01:35:36,899 --> 01:35:37,699 You wanna? 2278 01:35:40,035 --> 01:35:40,869 - Oh. 2279 01:35:46,141 --> 01:35:46,975 No. 2280 01:35:53,015 --> 01:35:54,216 - It's worth a shot.