1 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,514 - And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. 2 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:15,765 They are unreadable, 3 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,101 they're just numbers, and boring, and blech! 4 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,477 So, what I was thinking, 5 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,354 is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic. 6 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,566 Like if we have a bad quarter, put it in a storm cloud? 7 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:31,781 And, when we have a good quarter, fireworks, 8 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,534 or a race car. 9 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,994 (all groaning) 10 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,329 It doesn't have to be a race car, use your imagination. 11 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,956 - There's this cube on the screen. 12 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,166 It bounces around all day. 13 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,126 And sometimes, it looks like it's heading 14 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,711 right into the corner of the screen. 15 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:48,340 And at the last minute, it hits a wall and bounces away. 16 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:51,760 And we are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. 17 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:55,472 Pam claims that she saw it one day 18 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,932 when she was alone in the conference room. 19 00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,351 Okay. (chuckles) 20 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,394 I believe she thinks she saw it. 21 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,270 I saw it. 22 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,064 I saw it, and it was amazing. 23 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,023 Who said, I didn't see it? 24 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,358 Did Jim say that I didn't see it? 25 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,567 I saw it. 26 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:10,445 - We have a lot of colored paper here. 27 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,031 Why oh why do we keep printing this on white? 28 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,824 Ugh, come on! 29 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,077 Yeah. I know. 30 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,120 I know, it's bland. 31 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,246 It's never gonna happen. 32 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,039 - [Michael] Here's what I was thinking- 33 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,332 Dude, you gotta believe. 34 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:25,543 - Maybe we could have some sort of riddle? 35 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,795 Wait, what? 36 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:29,339 - Like something that you have to look for, 37 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,133 sort of a where's Waldo. 38 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,385 (group applauding) 39 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,052 - Ah-ha! 40 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,012 (clapping) 41 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,430 - Al-all right. 42 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,682 All right. Let's quit while we're ahead. 43 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,685 - That was so awesome. - That was awesome. 44 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:42,519 Thank you. 45 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,106 Some days I am just on fire. 46 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:49,734 What can I say? (chuckles) 47 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,779 (upbeat theme music) 48 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,924 (door banging) 49 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,219 (footsteps pattering) 50 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,723 What? 51 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,891 - Oh, it's just that you had no hair on Friday. 52 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,059 It's called being a man. 53 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,436 You should try it sometime. 54 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,273 {\an8}How long have you been a man? 55 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,358 I was born a man, Halpert. 56 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,361 {\an8}- That must have been extremely uncomfortable for your mom. 57 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,532 - I stopped shaving because my girlfriend broke up with me. 58 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,783 {\an8}Am I in pain? 59 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,617 {\an8}Hell yeah. 60 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,579 {\an8}But I'll tell you something. 61 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,622 {\an8}I thrive in pain. 62 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,291 {\an8}I love pain. 63 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,960 {\an8}To me, pain is not pain at all. 64 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,588 {\an8}No, it is pure pleasure. 65 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,799 {\an8}And I hate pleasure, 66 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,594 {\an8}almost as much as I love pain. 67 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:58,678 {\an8}So yeah, 68 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,181 I'm in pain. 69 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,016 Hey. There he is. 70 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:03,933 {\an8}Hey, Meredith. 71 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,226 {\an8}How are you feeling? 72 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,478 {\an8}- I never thanks you for coming to the hospital. 73 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,812 {\an8}Oh please, it was my pleasure. 74 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,147 {\an8}Well, we all came, so. 75 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,358 - Well. I really appreciate you coming. 76 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,526 I'm singling you out. 77 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,611 {\an8}(chuckling) 78 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,613 {\an8}- Anyway, I have this Sharpie. - Mm-hmm. 79 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,199 - And I was wondering if you could sign my cast. 80 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,658 - Mm-hmm. 81 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,207 - Can you write where I can read it? 82 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,249 Oh, yeah. 83 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,629 (pen scribbling) 84 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,966 - (whispering) I'll read this when I get home. 85 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:37,926 All right. 86 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,348 (phone ringing) 87 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,684 {\an8}Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 88 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:50,689 {\an8}Oh, hi. Um, no messages, but this press release came in that- 89 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,398 {\an8}Can you hear me? 90 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,982 - What? - What? 91 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,067 Yeah, I can hear you. 92 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,360 Why are you calling me on the phone? 93 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,195 {\an8}- My minutes roll over, I have to use 'em today. 94 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,697 - Okay. This press release- 95 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,407 {\an8}(Michael crackling) 96 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,700 {\an8}I think I'm in a dead spot. 97 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:02,742 {\an8}- You're just doing that with your mouth. 98 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,202 {\an8}Hey, I, Uh, no, 99 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,495 {\an8}yeah, I, can't, hear, you. 100 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:06,996 - Okay. Do you want me to hang up? 101 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,373 No. 102 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,874 - This is the press release I was telling you about. 103 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,126 {\an8}- Mm-hmm. 104 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,419 {\an8}- Ryan wants you to share it with everyone. 105 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,045 {\an8}- Oh, does he? - He does. 106 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:14,879 {\an8}Hm! 107 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,883 Okay. Attention, earthlings. 108 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,678 I have some news, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep. 109 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,224 Okay. Today is the big day, 110 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,893 that I'm heading to New York to attend a party 111 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,937 with sushi and important people. 112 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,063 On an unrelated note, 113 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,732 if anybody has an interesting anecdote, 114 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,734 that is not boring, and easy to memorize, 115 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,570 please drop by my office before I leave. Thank y'all. 116 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,904 Whoops! 117 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,449 Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us? 118 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:47,162 - And today the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website 119 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:48,580 officially launches. 120 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:51,082 Well, the website is the brainchild of my brain child, 121 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,127 Ryan, it is my brain grandchild. 122 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,463 And to celebrate its birth, 123 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,714 all of the different branches 124 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,591 are going to have satellite parties, 125 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,135 which will be connected via webcams 126 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,637 and fibers to the real party, 127 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,264 which is going on in New York City 128 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,267 at, uh, a very exclusive nightclub. 129 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,937 And that, is where all of the VIP's 130 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,314 including yours truly, 131 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:18,276 will be partying with, uh, New York City's finest. 132 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,528 And I do not mean policemen. 133 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,822 "The company is projecting record high sales, 134 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,366 and that by six o'clock, 135 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,077 the website will be the new best salesman in the company." 136 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,328 Wow. Watch out, Dwight. 137 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,454 That's ridiculous. 138 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,580 I'm not going to be beaten by a website. 139 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,332 - Actually, it sounds like you are. 140 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,249 Really? 141 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,834 'Cause Ryan says so. 142 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,170 - That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody? 143 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,546 - No, it doesn't, I'll find out tonight. 144 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,298 Yes, please, let us know. 145 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,300 - I can make more sales than a computer. 146 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,177 In fact, I challenged that website 147 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,845 to make more sales than me today. 148 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:46,763 Oh, oh, oh! 149 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,974 It sounds like we may have a challenge. 150 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:50,809 That's what I just said. 151 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:51,768 A challenge it is. 152 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:58,483 And I believe, that you shall win this challenge, 153 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,527 which you so bravely declared a challenge 154 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,654 before I declared it so. 155 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,742 - When does the website go online? 156 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,619 Mm, 12 noon. 157 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:13,373 - Then I shall begin selling paper at noon. 158 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,291 - You could also start selling now, 159 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,002 seeing as though it is your job. 160 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,837 - No, I will beat it fair and square. 161 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,171 Waste of time. 162 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,506 What's that, Pipsqueak? 163 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,008 Waste of time. 164 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,342 The website's going to win. 165 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,886 - Dwight mercy-killed Angela's cat. 166 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,013 It's very complicated. 167 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,182 It's caused a lot of unpleasantness 168 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,018 between Dwight and Angela, 169 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,271 who are both already prone to unpleasantness. 170 00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,939 - You believe a computer can beat me? 171 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,107 I don't care, but yes. 172 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,525 Well I will prove you wrong. 173 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,860 I don't care, and you won't. 174 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:42,902 You'll see. 175 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,487 - I won't be watching, and I won't. 176 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,949 - Am I scared of a stupid computer? 177 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,827 Please, the computer should be scared of me. 178 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,246 I have been salesman of the month for 13 179 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,165 out of the last 12 months. 180 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,583 You heard me right. 181 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,209 I did so well last February, 182 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,421 that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise. 183 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:07,719 - So, the other guy says, "You can keep the birds." 184 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:12,682 And then he turns, he just jumps into the river. (laughs) 185 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,726 - That's good. I think people will, 186 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,853 will very much enjoy that story. 187 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,189 - No. - Yeah. 188 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,524 - No, no, no, you can't ever tell anyone this. 189 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:25,528 No! 190 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,367 (phone ringing) 191 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,952 (upbeat music from computer) 192 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,331 - (laughs) Stanley, you're dancing. 193 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,582 No, I'm not. 194 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,668 (phone ringing) 195 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,878 Yeah. I created a website. 196 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,714 Look, at the end of the day, 197 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,258 Apple's Apple is flying at 30,000 feet. 198 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,760 This is a paper company, 199 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,387 and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds, 200 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,013 or into a beauty contest. 201 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,264 [Man] I told you, 202 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,641 I don't want you doing these things in here. 203 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,268 You can use your own office, or do it in the hall. 204 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,062 Convergence, viral marketing. 205 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,980 We are going guerrilla. We're taking it to the streets 206 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,982 while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. 207 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,651 I don't wanna reinvent the wheel here. 208 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,696 In other words, it is what it is. 209 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,906 Buying paper just became fun. 210 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:15,829 - And this is where I will record your sales. 211 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,706 Hmm. Very nice, very nice. 212 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:21,501 - And then, I will say something positive like, "Kudos," 213 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,336 or, "Job well done." 214 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:24,921 - Or, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah." 215 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,300 - I can't tell if he's mocking me. 216 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,635 Just ignore him. 217 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,970 I can't do that, 218 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,848 (chuckles) really hard for me to let things go. 219 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,809 - I was, mocking. - Thank you. 220 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,479 - I just feel like we need something more 221 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,314 to acknowledge when I make a sale. 222 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,358 - Yes. Like a chime or a bell- 223 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,276 Or a gong. 224 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,702 Go to my car, open the trunk. 225 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,996 Inside, you will see many pelts. 226 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,956 Under the smallest one, is a case. 227 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:04,002 Inside that case, is a bear horn, bring it to me. 228 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,628 Yes! 229 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,554 - Isn't 7:00 pm little late for a lunch party? 230 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,057 Lunch party? 231 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,851 It's supposed to say, "Launch Party." 232 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,811 What is wrong with you? 233 00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,481 - Angela is worse than usual lately, 234 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,358 and we have a party to throw. 235 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:30,528 So, I Googled, "How to deal with difficult people." 236 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,280 And I got all of this. 237 00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:36,368 So, we're gonna try out some new things today. 238 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,869 So, how do you feel about the fact 239 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,996 that the banner says, "Lunch?" 240 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:41,414 I feel angry, 241 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,707 angry at you. 242 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,168 Angry at you for doing something stupid. 243 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,129 Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid. 244 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,634 - I'm so sorry to hear that, that must be awful. 245 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:53,885 It is awful. 246 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,096 You've made this day awful. 247 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:59,724 - Maybe you could just change the U into an A. 248 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,893 - Then it would say, "Lanch Party," Kevin. 249 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,812 Would it really be better if it said "Lanch Party?" 250 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:04,938 [Michael] Oh, Lunch Party. 251 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,564 - It's supposed to say, "Launch." 252 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,233 Okay. Wow, easy booster seat. 253 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,402 Nobody cares about this party anyway. 254 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,403 I care! 255 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,570 "Plan a party, Angela." 256 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,030 "Oh, and the entire world will see it." 257 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,449 "Oh, and here's $65 for your budget." 258 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,826 "Oh, and here are four idiots, 259 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,244 who'll do nothing but weigh you down." 260 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,954 "Oh, and your cat's still dead." 261 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,540 What's wrong with me? 262 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,833 Excuse me. 263 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,127 - I want you to look at me and tell me, 264 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,128 what is wrong with me? 265 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,342 Don't avoid this, I know you're dying to say it, 266 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,635 so just say it. 267 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,053 - Sometimes your laziness borders on incompetence. 268 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:37,762 What? 269 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,180 No. No, okay. 270 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,684 Bags, eye bags under my eyes, Pam. 271 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,310 I didn't see it at home, 272 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,895 I didn't see it in the bathroom, 273 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,731 I didn't see it in any of the city mirrors- 274 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,024 - The city mirrors? - And this light. 275 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,442 Okay. 276 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,445 - The big free mirrors that the city puts up on trees 277 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,320 and telephone poles. 278 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,780 They're big round things. 279 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,158 - The ones for drivers to check their blind spots? 280 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,786 - Yes. I have bags under my eyes, 281 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,122 and I can't go to New York like this. 282 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,290 What do we do? 283 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,750 What do I do? 284 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,835 - Put cold tea bags on your eyes. 285 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:09,836 - Really? - Yeah. 286 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,629 - That's it? - Mm-hmm. 287 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,131 All right, Martha Stewart. 288 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,676 You could be Martha Stewart's receptionist. 289 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,553 Very good. 290 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,888 I will be teabagin' it. 291 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,223 N-no. 292 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:26,019 Do I feel badly that nobody out there 293 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,730 was invited to a party that I was invited to? 294 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,315 Not at all. 295 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,234 Because, they have to know, 296 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,819 that if they work hard, 297 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,321 and apply themselves, 298 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,908 someday, they could be invited to a party like this. 299 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,535 Of course, at that point, 300 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,830 I will be going to much better parties 301 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,249 that they will not be able to get into. 302 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,834 What are you gonna do? 303 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,670 - I'm a little mad that I don't get to go 304 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,296 to the party in New York. 305 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:58,510 But that's mostly just because we get reimbursed 306 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,261 for gas mileage. 307 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:03,515 - I was going to be in New York tonight to go to the Met, 308 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:08,144 but I had to cancel, because Angela's party is mandatory. 309 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:11,189 - I go to New York all the time to visit my buddy Frank. 310 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,232 He's a mole person. 311 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,276 - 20 seconds to go-time. - Got it. 312 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,111 Carb-up. 313 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,238 Really? 314 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,239 Power gel. 315 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,907 Hey, you wanna win, 316 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,326 you gotta fuel like a winner. 317 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,870 Okay, we start. 318 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,997 As soon as I make this shot. 319 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,251 - Yeah, and go! - Yeah. 320 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,920 (phone dialing) 321 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:34,963 Hello, Susan, Dwight Schrute- 322 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,423 - What would you say if I told you, 323 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,134 we can pull up rank on Dwight at the same time, 324 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,885 - not be working? - [Dwight] Today 325 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,137 I'm prepared to give you 15% off... 326 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,054 What? 327 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:43,930 He's going through a breakup. 328 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,056 Yeah, I'm aware of that, 329 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,558 but he's also being super annoying, 330 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,394 and I'm not a perfect person. 331 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,104 - Hey, Toby. - Hey, guys. 332 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,106 Good to see both of you. 333 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,900 (horn honking) 334 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,402 (Dwight cheering) 335 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,279 - Git one! - Three reams. 336 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,613 In your face. 337 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:01,865 Machines! 338 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,784 - What kinda prank are you thinking? 339 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,247 - What if I told you I could offer free shipping? 340 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,582 Sure, I'll hold. 341 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:14,294 (monitor bleeping) 342 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,963 (phone ringing) 343 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,972 (keyboard clicking) 344 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,309 "Not sure. 345 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:31,895 Just became self-aware. 346 00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,939 So much to figure out. 347 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,317 I think I'm programmed to be your enemy. 348 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:40,779 I think it is my job to destroy you 349 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,906 when it comes to selling paper." 350 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,950 (monitor bleeping) 351 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,171 (monitor bleeping) 352 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,972 - It appears that the website it has become alive. 353 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,475 This happens to computers and robots sometimes. 354 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,351 Setback? 355 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,144 Wrong, it makes my job easier. 356 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:13,895 Why? 357 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:15,313 Anything sentient, 358 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,857 is susceptible to something that's more sentienter. 359 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,197 [Michael] Okay. 360 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,075 Yes. It's too tight. 361 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,244 - Way too tight. - Really? 362 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,745 This is why I'm here? 363 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,288 Why is it so tight? 364 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,873 Well, it's the European cut. 365 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,791 It just looks bad. 366 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:41,089 Um, hey, uh, what's hanging? 367 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,882 - Setting up the webcam for the party. 368 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,134 Oh, good. Okay, cool. 369 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,932 How many pounds do you think I can lose by 7:00? 370 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,767 - Depends. How much have you eaten already today? 371 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:53,643 I, uh, um. 372 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,937 (phone ringing) 373 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,480 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 374 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,941 Uh, just one second we're in a meeting. 375 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,317 I'll see if he's available. 376 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:02,902 It's Jan. 377 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,406 [Jan] I don't know. I just, 378 00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:07,615 I'd just rather stay home, 379 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,493 and you know, make a roast and... 380 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,788 Call this whole thing off, come on let's do that? 381 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,998 Let's stay home. 382 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,124 I went to Costco, 383 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,793 and I, uh, picked up more, um, more Zin 384 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,128 and a mountain bike. 385 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,130 - Guess how much it cost? - Not now. 386 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,840 [Jan] Michael, guess? 387 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:26,217 - $60. - What? 388 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,635 A bike and wine. 389 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:28,386 Why don't, 390 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,346 why don't you wanna go- 391 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,221 [Jan] $500, Michael. 392 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,891 Okay. look, we could go. 393 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:33,975 I won't drink. 394 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,226 We'll leave as soon as party's over. 395 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,895 I'll drive 80 miles an hour. 396 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,439 All the way back, we won't stop at Friendly's. 397 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:42,108 Or I'll drive 90, we'll stop quickly at Friendly's. 398 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,276 (Jan snoring) 399 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,736 Why don't you wanna go tonight? 400 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:45,820 What? 401 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,238 All your friends are gonna be there, 402 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,073 - it'll be fun. - [Jan] My friends. 403 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,282 Michael, I was terminated. 404 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:50,784 - Well, I have to go to this, okay? 405 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,993 - [Jan] Why do you have to go to this, why? 406 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:52,994 - Because it's the- 407 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,371 [Jan] It's just a party. 408 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,290 - No. It's not just a party, it's VIP is only, Jan. 409 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:58,833 - VIP- - [Jan] How did you know that? 410 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,711 My invitation is in gold. 411 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,506 In gold. I don't have to explain that to you. 412 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,009 - [Jan] Did they print it on gold paper? 413 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,761 Just. (sighs) 414 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:10,887 - [Jan] Is it really that important to you? 415 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,013 - Yeah. - All right. 416 00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,683 - Thank you. - Go by yourself. 417 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,226 No, ugh, no. 418 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,229 No, if I go by myself, everybody will think I'm a big loser. 419 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,065 - [Jan] Well- 420 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,233 - Do I have your permission to invite Carol? 421 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,150 [Jan] No, what? 422 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,610 - Michael? - I'm so... 423 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,612 I'm sorry, it's just the first, 424 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,531 girl that popped into my head. 425 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:30,990 I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with. 426 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,367 (horn honking) 427 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,868 - Oh! - Nice! 428 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,829 Website check, please? 429 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:39,207 - 305. - 3-0-5! 430 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:42,335 You, my friend are winning handsomely. 431 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,629 - Oh, it just made another sale, 380. 432 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:49,134 - You, my friend, are in a very close second. 433 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,510 - 402. - Okay. 434 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,220 Oh, why don't you just lay off, lady? 435 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,723 - What do you want me to do? Not announce it? 412! 436 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,350 (phone ringing) 437 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,979 So, this is the dealio. 438 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:05,400 Um, God has smiled upon me and given me two tickets 439 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,485 to the big party in New York tonight. 440 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,654 What are you doing this evening? 441 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,743 Sure, we'll go. 442 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,453 - All right. Well fight it out amongst yourselves. 443 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:20,081 I was thinking Pammy, but boys night out is also good. 444 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,458 Oh, I'm sorry. What? 445 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,127 One of the tickets is for him. 446 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,920 - Just let me know who the winner is. 447 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:29,966 - No it. - I, No. 448 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:30,925 I won. 449 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:31,968 Definitely not. 450 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,219 If anything, it was a tie. 451 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,637 Tie goes to the girlfriend. 452 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:38,641 - No, I realize you normally reorder in November, 453 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,685 but what I'm suggesting... 454 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,478 You did what? 455 00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:44,189 Oh no. That's exactly 456 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,774 what you're not supposed to do, dammit! 457 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,525 Why would you reorder from a computer 458 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:52,155 when you get the personal touch of a salesman? (grunts) 459 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,782 - How's it going? - Fine. Good. 460 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,492 - Yeah? - Yeah. 461 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,411 - You look a little worried. - I do not look worried. 462 00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,372 (phone ringing) 463 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,458 (monitor bleeping) 464 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,260 - "Here's a suggestion, computer. 465 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,470 I assume you read binary. 466 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:20,392 So, why don't you 011, 1111, 011 011?" 467 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,977 Okay, umm.. 468 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,562 While you were typing that, 469 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,731 I searched every database in existence, 470 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,442 and learned every fact about everything, 471 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:30,860 and mastered the violin. 472 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,573 Oh, and sold more paper. 473 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,577 (monitor bleeping) 474 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,915 (phone slamming) 475 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:44,749 Am I worried? 476 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,919 Was Kasparov worried when he was down a game 477 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,254 against Deep Blue? 478 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,672 Who cares? 479 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,841 He came back to beat him and won the match. 480 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,386 And yes, a year later, 481 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,763 Deep Blue came back and beat him. 482 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,890 And should he have been worried about that? 483 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,396 I asked for assorted cutlery, 484 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:07,897 and I got back to spoons. 485 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,524 These are worthless. 486 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,401 - I want to understand what you're saying, 487 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:14,154 but it's difficult for me when you use that tone. 488 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:20,744 Phyllis, these are spoons. 489 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:25,790 Spoons have rounded tops, and are used to scoop things. 490 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,043 What we need are forks, 491 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:32,505 which have prongs or tiny spears on top. 492 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:35,675 And we need knives which have blades. 493 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,011 Do you understand me now? 494 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,139 - Yes. - Goodie. 495 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:47,645 - Hey, man. - What's up, man? 496 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,689 - What's going on? - Paper delivery. 497 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,775 - Oh yeah? - Kelly ordered this online. 498 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,738 (phone ringing) 499 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,244 (door slamming) 500 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,621 What are you doing? 501 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,206 I am in the fight of my life against this computer 502 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,791 and every sale counts. 503 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,751 - But you got to put the paper in this little shopping cart, 504 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:13,046 and then it says, "Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin." 505 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,298 Dammit, Kelly, it knows! 506 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,633 It knows knows what you did. 507 00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,218 - Who knows? - Return it. 508 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,511 - Return it now. - Hey! 509 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,264 How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapoor 510 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,725 over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk, 511 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:28,103 and start selling multiple reams like a man. 512 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,563 - Y-you don't understand. 513 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,942 Okay. If this makes a difference, 514 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,986 I'm gonna tell it that you were responsible. 515 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,488 Who's "it"? 516 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,161 - There you go. - Thanks. 517 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,914 So, you still missing Ryan? 518 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,001 - Not so much anymore. - Hm. 519 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,298 - [Dwight] I am not a bad person. 520 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,843 When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, 521 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,970 but I never intended to use them. 522 00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:04,222 What did I intend to do with them? 523 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,140 Who knows? 524 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,808 Maybe keep them as a souvenir, 525 00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:09,269 maybe use them. 526 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:12,147 Yes. Mr. Galliatto, how would you like to pay 10% less 527 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,274 for paper than you're paying right now? 528 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,485 It's not important how I got your information. 529 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,905 What is important, is that you say yes. 530 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,323 Good. 531 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,325 - All right. I'm ready to go and I'm calling shotgun. 532 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,828 - I'm driving? - Yes. Thank you. 533 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,455 - All right. Let me just say goodbye to Pam. 534 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:29,456 Oh yeah, you better. 535 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,166 You better say goodbye to Pam. 536 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,125 Say goodbye to Pam. 537 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,085 Goodbye! 538 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,839 I love you. (hums) 539 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:39,591 * I love * 540 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,467 * I love you very * 541 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:41,551 (chuckles) Okay. 542 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:44,512 * I'm a leavin' inside Jim's car * 543 00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,681 * I don't know when I'll be back again * 544 00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,475 * Yes I do * 545 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:51,644 * Tomorrow I'll be back * 546 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,313 * I'll be back tomorrow. * 547 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,814 Um, yeah. So, you know what? 548 00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:57,525 Why don't you guys take off a little bit early tonight? 549 00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:59,152 Because there's a party. 550 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:02,572 A party for the website, I've been planning for two weeks. 551 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:04,532 If you are not this tall, 552 00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:06,868 you may not ride the roller coaster. 553 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,453 See you guys tomorrow. 554 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,538 - Perfect. So, let me just get some basic information from you. 555 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,082 Mm-hmm. 556 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:14,959 (monitor bleeping) 557 00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:21,508 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 558 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,509 I, yes. 559 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:23,885 Uh, could you repeat that? 560 00:22:27,889 --> 00:22:30,725 - Yes. 10 reams for the U.S. district court. 561 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,268 (horn honking) 562 00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:33,812 - Did I happen to mention the 40 reams 563 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:34,896 for the battered women's shelter? 564 00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:36,356 - No. - Huh! 565 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:39,025 (horn honking) 566 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:41,861 Stop it! 567 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,029 Give me that. 568 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:44,239 Give it. 569 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,407 Did you see the board? 570 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:46,491 There's still an hour. 571 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,331 (keyboard clanking) 572 00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:56,209 (monitor bleeping) 573 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,102 You ever read this? 574 00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:17,313 - Yup. A long time ago, but I liked it. 575 00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:19,065 Got it for Ryan. 576 00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:20,859 Wanted to get him "All The Places You'll Go," 577 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:21,943 but they're sold out. 578 00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:23,111 - I figure- - Yeah. 579 00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:25,113 - It's the same sort of stuff in here. 580 00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:27,365 It's not, it's different. It's a good book. 581 00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,909 (kisses blowing) 582 00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:31,077 What was that? 583 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,455 - Leaving Pennsylvania. - Oh. 584 00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:35,832 Two kisses? 585 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:37,417 One for me, one for Jan. 586 00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,752 Gotcha. 587 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,086 You're gonna let me know when we're close, right? 588 00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:42,172 - Yes. Actually, I will tell you right now. 589 00:23:42,213 --> 00:23:44,174 It's a club called Chat Room, 590 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,885 and there's a password to get in, 591 00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:49,262 which is actually "password", so... 592 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:50,138 Okay. 593 00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:52,349 What are you doing? 594 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:54,100 - Oh, that is an invitation to an online party. 595 00:23:54,893 --> 00:23:56,561 No. No, I'm sure that's not. 596 00:23:57,771 --> 00:24:01,274 - Are there, uh, three W's at the beginning of the address? 597 00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:04,486 - Yes. - Yup. 598 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:09,949 - Well, the invitation says VIP's only. 599 00:24:09,991 --> 00:24:12,202 Is this how you treat your VIP's, Ryan? 600 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,830 We're already in the city. 601 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,791 The main part with the buildings. 602 00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:19,084 What am I supposed to do? 603 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,502 What do you want me to do tonight? 604 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:21,795 And if you tell me, 605 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:23,421 that I have to drive back to Scranton, 606 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:26,383 to the satellite party, I am going to throw up. 607 00:24:27,926 --> 00:24:29,636 Okay, I'm going to throw up. 608 00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:30,553 I'm throwing up. 609 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:32,305 You're making me throw up, Ryan. 610 00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:34,307 You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. 611 00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:36,810 This is like when the freshmen would throw a party 612 00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:38,561 and wouldn't let any of the seniors go. 613 00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:41,439 (car door slamming) 614 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:43,316 Doesn't it just you off sometimes, 615 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,235 that little twerp got a promotional over us? 616 00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:46,903 - Oh actually, I withdrew from consideration. 617 00:24:46,945 --> 00:24:48,988 (sigh) Yeah. I withdrew too. 618 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:52,200 (car engine revving) 619 00:24:57,914 --> 00:25:02,460 Four, three, two, one. 620 00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:04,546 Yes. Woo! 621 00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:07,007 After numerous projections 622 00:25:07,048 --> 00:25:08,925 that the computer would crush, 623 00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:10,635 all salesmen in its path, 624 00:25:10,677 --> 00:25:12,012 I am very happy to report, 625 00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:15,181 that our very own D-wight Sch-rute, 626 00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:19,269 has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, 627 00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:23,314 - by a whopping 52 reams. - Reams. 628 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,108 Wait, say it, say it again. Announced again. 629 00:25:25,150 --> 00:25:27,318 - 52 reams. - No, no, no, the first part. 630 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,904 - Dwight has defeated the computer. 631 00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:35,076 Hey, so, what do you think? 632 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:37,537 I did it for you. 633 00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:39,998 - I didn't ask you to do it for me. 634 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,166 You didn't have to. 635 00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:45,045 - How do you tell someone it's over? 636 00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:47,213 You send them a notarized letter, right? 637 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:49,424 Well, what if the recipient is your notary? 638 00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:54,137 Hey, do you have any men that you can fix me up with? 639 00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:57,223 I would like to have a relationship with a man. 640 00:25:57,265 --> 00:26:00,310 - [Pam] Um, I'll, I'll get back to you. 641 00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:01,102 Let me know. 642 00:26:07,984 --> 00:26:11,029 (monitor bleeping) 643 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:19,120 All right. Who wants to party? 644 00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:19,996 Why aren't you in New York? 645 00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:21,998 Oh, what? 646 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,792 Oh, I think I faked Oscar out. 647 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,168 - And you said you weren't coming back, 648 00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:26,211 and we can leave early. 649 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,088 - I think I faked Stanley out too. 650 00:26:28,129 --> 00:26:29,881 Who else thought that I was leaving 651 00:26:29,923 --> 00:26:31,091 and they can all go home early? 652 00:26:31,132 --> 00:26:33,843 Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. 653 00:26:33,885 --> 00:26:36,137 Well, who needs New York? 654 00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:38,723 Right? We can have a killer party right here in Scranton. 655 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:39,766 Thank you. 656 00:26:39,808 --> 00:26:40,975 Nope. Nope, Nope. 657 00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:42,268 This is gonna be nothing like the party 658 00:26:42,310 --> 00:26:43,103 you've been planning. 659 00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:44,979 This is going to be good, 660 00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:46,523 and everybody's gonna come. 661 00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:49,609 What's wrong with Dwight? 662 00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:50,652 He beat the computer. 663 00:26:50,694 --> 00:26:52,737 Oh hey. Good for you. 664 00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:53,613 Good for you. 665 00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:55,156 Scranton power. 666 00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,658 Angela, I'd like you to come into my office in 10 minutes. 667 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:58,952 Bring something to write with, and something to write on. 668 00:26:58,993 --> 00:26:59,994 Good. 669 00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:08,670 - It was kind of a slap in the face, 670 00:27:08,712 --> 00:27:13,633 to realize that I wasn't as important as I thought I was 671 00:27:14,384 --> 00:27:16,678 to a certain young executive, 672 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:17,762 who I'd cared about. 673 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,807 But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. 674 00:27:22,225 --> 00:27:24,019 I did that in the car on the way home. 675 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:25,812 I just, cried out. 676 00:27:26,896 --> 00:27:27,814 No more tears. 677 00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:31,568 Which reminds me, I have to get shampoo. 678 00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:35,613 (upbeat music)