1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,660 I know a lot of us have been feeling under the weather lately, 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:04,966 it's that time of year, 3 00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,099 and according to a study done by the University of Arizona, 4 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,801 they discovered that your keyboards 5 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:12,403 have hundreds of times more bacteria 6 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:14,414 per square inch, than a toilet seat. 7 00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:15,972 I heard your mama has more bacteria 8 00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,142 per square inch than a toilet seat. 9 00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,448 That's true. That's true. I dated her mama. And you know what? 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,510 Stop. 11 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,245 All right. 12 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,915 One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs 13 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,960 is to use something called the vampire cough. 14 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:28,693 Did you say vampire? 15 00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,588 Oh, no, it's just that, if a vampire had to cough, 16 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,099 he would do it like this. 17 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,395 18 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,664 Uh-huh. Right, and ruin their cloaks? 19 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,365 Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 20 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,463 'Cause of the euro. 21 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,375 Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease 22 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,776 are to wash your hands regularly, 23 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,541 don't come in if you're sick, 24 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,582 Ah. and get your flu shot. 25 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,847 Also, I'm going to set up hand-sanitizing stations around the office. 26 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:56,151 No. No, no. They will cost you your life. 27 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,247 Elaborate. 28 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,883 The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. 29 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,551 They need to fight their own battles. 30 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,296 If Sabre really cared about our well-being, 31 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,924 they would set up hand-desanitizing stations. 32 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,366 A simple bowl at every juncture 33 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,962 filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter. 34 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,062 Exposing yourself to germs... 35 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,164 I'm not going to do that. 36 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,472 ...is the best way to make yourself stronger. 37 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,479 So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you. 38 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,673 Yes. I would welcome it. 39 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:23,873 40 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:26,978 You're welcome. 41 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,383 The principle is sound. 42 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,219 To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, 43 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,750 enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. 44 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,056 45 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,758 I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. 46 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,996 Maybe they have something against living forever. 47 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,951 Jim, Pam, 48 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,020 and the precious bundle of God's best everything, 49 00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,529 I wish you both a pleasant day. 50 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,066 And you, too. Yes. Praise God. 51 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,125 Okay. 52 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,329 PAM: Cece's getting christened today. 53 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,394 JIM: Big day. 54 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,597 Everyone from work is here. 55 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,698 We weren't planning on that. 56 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:22,868 Nope. 57 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,511 Top of the Sunday morning to you. 58 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,604 And a top of the day to you, too, sir. 59 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,245 I hope you brought your pipes. 60 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,408 We're about to smoke the opium of the masses. 61 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,213 Oh, yes, doobie-doobie-doo. 62 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,343 63 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,786 I invited everyone in the office 64 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:38,155 because it's not a day for just Jim, 65 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,154 or Pam, or the baby, or me. 66 00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,092 It is about us all. 67 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,462 And I thought we should all celebrate 68 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,594 my joy and our... All of our joys. 69 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,935 Oh, man... 70 00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:53,631 71 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,775 ANDY: Does the Nard dog want Nard pups? Yeah. 72 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,607 I want a big old litter of Nard pups, 73 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,307 all jumping around and sucking on the teat. 74 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,940 Put them in a box, give them to my neighbors. 75 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,518 Yeah, I want kids. 76 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,045 For all your paper and printer needs. 77 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,783 For all your paper and printer needs. 78 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,393 For all your paper and printer needs. 79 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,487 TOBY: Sunday church service. It's been a few years. 80 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,263 The big guy and I, we've got some catching up to do. 81 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,227 Hey. Hey. 82 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,665 I got an offer that you can't refuse. Scooch over. 83 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,334 Oh, Michael, this is just for family. 84 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,911 But I'm the godfather. 85 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,206 It is really funny, but, you know, 86 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,975 that can be confusing at a christening, 87 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,913 because you are not the godfather. 88 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:37,983 Are you talking to me? 89 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,511 Okay, your turn. 90 00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,953 Scooch, before I shoot you in the head. 91 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,783 Okay, Michael, um, 92 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,189 you know, I love when you do that voice, 93 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:49,091 but today, I'm so sorry, 94 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,155 I need you to tell me that you know you're not Cece's godfather. 95 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,229 Yeah. 96 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,800 I'm sorry, Michael. I need you to say it. I'm so sorry. 97 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,234 I'm not the godfather. 98 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:02,908 Okay. Thank you. 99 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,212 So who is the godfather? 100 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,042 Our friend Seth and his wife there. Yeah. 101 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,082 Okay. 102 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,044 Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten? 103 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,317 No, I met his wife in Mommy And Me. 104 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,982 They're a great couple. You should meet them later. 105 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,084 No, I have plenty of friends, so... 106 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,988 All right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show. 107 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,362 Okay. Thank you for coming, Michael. 108 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,662 MICHAEL: I don't even know how to say this. 109 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:32,431 But Cece is turning out to be a little B-I-T-C-H. 110 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,534 And that's not true, 111 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,906 but her parents are kind of boxing me out. 112 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,211 113 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,180 Good morning. ALL: Good morning. 114 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,247 Good morning. 115 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,254 What a terrific day this is, 116 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,988 and not just because the Eagles are playing. 117 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:56,693 118 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,459 You may have seen the bus out front. 119 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,092 Today we also say goodbye to our young adult ministry. 120 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,701 They're leaving for three months 121 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:06,672 to build a school for the village of Quimixto in Cabo Corrientes, Mexico. 122 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,599 I've heard of that place. 123 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:12,510 If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes. 124 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,675 Okay, this is... All right, this is silly. 125 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:24,417 Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. 126 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:28,050 And thank you for your prayers for Justin. 127 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,596 We hope for a speedy recovery. 128 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,087 Thank you. 129 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,428 Anyone else with a prayer or a remembrance? 130 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,330 Good morning. Dwight Schrute. 131 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:44,310 Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. 132 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,538 Like Justin and his disfigurement, 133 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,172 I, too, have had a horrible year. 134 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:52,508 They say that the middle class is disappearing, 135 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,555 and with it, the soul of America. 136 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,857 So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, 137 00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,917 I would like to offer a 4% discount 138 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,725 on all Dunder Mifflin-Sabre products 139 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,494 if you buy a printer at full price. 140 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,333 Christening calls to repentance, 141 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,634 to faithfulness and to discipleship. 142 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,674 We've come to celebrate these babies. 143 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,140 Somebody needs a change. 144 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,540 Right now? 145 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,376 Well, she can't bring this up with her. 146 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,046 Okay. 147 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:26,814 All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going? 148 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,785 We're gonna take a little field trip. 149 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,285 Okay. Okay. 150 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,817 There's my girl. All right. 151 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,358 Hold on one second. There we go. 152 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,420 153 00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,194 What's that face for? 154 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,132 Oh, my... Oh, my God. 155 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,728 Cece, no. No, no, no. Not on the dress. 156 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:45,828 Cece, stop. 157 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,879 158 00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,275 What? What? 159 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,887 Honey, no. Yes. 160 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,116 No, no. 161 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,316 This is happening. 162 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,755 We have an extra outfit in the bag. 163 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,486 No. There's no extra outfit in the bag. 164 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:09,926 You said you checked it. I did 165 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:11,787 say that. 166 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,494 At this time, will the families please come join me? 167 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,905 MICHAEL: Jim and Pam and Cece really seem to be clicking. 168 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,371 They are totally gelling. 169 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,136 It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office 170 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,040 that sells happiness. 171 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,134 And good for them. 172 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,614 That's great, because, you know, 173 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,651 the paper industry's not gonna last forever. 174 00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,715 MINISTER: Before we go, I'd like to remind everyone 175 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,658 that the Halberts have been kind enough to host a reception next door 176 00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:41,217 immediately following the service. 177 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,956 Mmm. Mmm. 178 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,725 No. Wrong on both counts. 179 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:48,027 Okay, A, "Halbert"? 180 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,762 And, B, I think a more appropriate statement would be, 181 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:54,865 "The 'Halberts' are hosting an intimate reception 182 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,432 "for their invited guests." 183 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,746 For all their generosity of spirit, 184 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,941 they password-protect their wireless? 185 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,074 Try "Jesus." 186 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,611 Opus Dei. 187 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,619 Hi. Good morning. 188 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,650 Good morning. 189 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,588 Good morning. Good morning. 190 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,057 Hello. 191 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,457 192 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,223 How are you? Good morning. 193 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,697 Good morning. Good morning. 194 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,062 MICHAEL: I am feeling this. 195 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,636 Call it the Holy Spirit or the Passion of the Christ, 196 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,762 I am loving these people. 197 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,173 Hi. Thanks for having us. 198 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,677 I'm Doug McPherson, Davey's uncle. 199 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,244 Oh, well, Dave is an adorable baby. 200 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,474 Davey. 201 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,844 Yeah. 202 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,141 203 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,183 Well, this is intimate. 204 00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,847 We just had to add a few more tables. 205 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,322 We weren't expecting this many people. 206 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,855 You don't know them all? 207 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,393 Nope. And we're gonna need 208 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,123 a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all. 209 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,523 Jesus is not your caterer. 210 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,100 But he should be your caterer, 'cause you're a little angel. 211 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,534 Why didn't your parents get you a caterer? 212 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,365 'Cause they don't think. 213 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,967 Mmm! Don't listen to her. 214 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,773 She's just jealous 'cause she doesn't get to come home 215 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,836 to someone as cute as you. 216 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,504 You think she is jealous about having a baby? 217 00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,083 I don't know. I'm just hungry. 218 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,743 Okay, well, you know what, everybody's hungry. 219 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,946 Sorry. I think I'm just hungry. 220 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,992 Oh, after you. Oh, no, after you. 221 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,960 No, I insist. After me. 222 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,620 I'm gonna use that one. 223 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,663 Have a good lunch. Thank you. You, too. 224 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,098 This is not the meal I was promised. 225 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,898 I'm going to have no energy for the rest of the day. 226 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:34,031 I canceled my plans to come to this thing and they repay me with this? 227 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,334 You know what, guys? Let's just enjoy lunch. 228 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,344 With what? How? 229 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,638 Sometimes, Michael. 230 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,713 Sometimes. 231 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,285 Excuse me, everyone, on behalf of the Youth Ministry 232 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,842 that's leaving for Mexico, 233 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,718 I just wanted to thank our hosts 234 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:52,220 and tell you about those good-looking guys and gals over there. 235 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,124 236 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,125 Teach For America girls are way hotter, 237 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,591 but they're nuts. 238 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,290 This is Jessica Ortega. 239 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,927 I met her when she and I were both seven years old, 240 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:07,303 when my parents took me to Quimixto on a service trip. 241 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,508 Who takes a kid to Mexico? 242 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,602 I would run to Mexico if that's where the sandwiches are. 243 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,668 Shh! 244 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:16,307 Right now, Jessica's children have to walk 12 miles 245 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:17,714 to a school with dirt floors. 246 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,979 No. 247 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,980 It's gonna be three months of hard work, 248 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,889 and when we're done, we'll practically be Quimixtanos. 249 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,286 Greg, hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. 250 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,389 You want to know my 11th commandment? 251 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,494 I will not be undersold. 252 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,621 Dwight. Dwight, hey. 253 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,395 I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kind of discounts. 254 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,697 Are you kidding me? Stop it. 255 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,260 I'll call you back. 256 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,500 My parents explained it to me this way. 257 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,771 You wouldn't hesitate to save a family member from a burning building, 258 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,244 but what if the earth was your building 259 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,941 and all the people on it were your family? 260 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:52,247 What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your hair brush? 261 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,048 MICHAEL: Shh! Thank you. 262 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,089 Or should I say, gracias. 263 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,230 Cece went down. 264 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,231 What was this? You're out of it. 265 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,135 Scones. I didn't get one. 266 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,265 Well, if it makes you feel better, I didn't get one either. 267 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,202 Is it just the one jug of apple cider? 268 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,205 Who the heck was that? 269 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,007 I think that was Sconesy Cider, 270 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,143 noted baptism reception critic. 271 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,087 We need more food. 272 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,623 I'll go get some subs and sodas. 273 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,056 All right. 274 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,284 And cider. 275 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,488 Look at that. Look at that. That's fun. 276 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,659 We need to do stuff together outside of work. 277 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:46,231 Let's go help Africa. Let's go build an airport. 278 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,534 We'll start small. We'll have a carwash. 279 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,736 We'll send some cheerleaders to regionals. 280 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:53,005 You could feed the hungry. Us. 281 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,672 OSCAR: Why do we have to do something together? 282 00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,477 I volunteer at a clinic on my own time. 283 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,176 Yeah, well, that's just a pick-up scene. 284 00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,844 MICHAEL: Okay, we don't have to volunteer. 285 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,387 But I think we should hang out more together. 286 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:04,218 We are hanging out. Right now. 287 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,783 You want some more of this? 288 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,521 Look at these people. These are church-going people. 289 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,390 And they know how to party. 290 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,864 Church isn't a party, Michael. 291 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,560 Well, it's... It's... Welcome to the party. 292 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,865 Everybody have their Kool-Aid? No. 293 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,529 Okay, you know what? That's inappropriate. 294 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,595 What is wrong with you guys? 295 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,731 What is wrong with you? 296 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,741 What is so horrible about wanting to 297 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,209 get together and do something nice? 298 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,074 Why did you guys even come today? 299 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,339 What's so great about your lives 300 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,109 that you think you're better than everybody else? 301 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,810 That you can make fun of everybody else? 302 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,950 You're mean. You're mean girls, 303 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,551 like the movie Mean Girls. 304 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,081 And Kevin and Stanley, 305 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,683 if you don't stop worrying so much 306 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,729 about what you're gonna put in your gullet, 307 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:45,264 you're gonna die in about a month. 308 00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:52,030 Oh, hey, Meemaw, would you watch Cece for a second? 309 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:55,165 Don't worry. She's asleep. I'm just gonna track down some more chairs. 310 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,539 Fine. 311 00:12:56,643 --> 00:13:00,045 Fine, I guess I'll watch Suzanne's purse and your baby. 312 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,481 313 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,750 314 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,626 Bye. Good luck. 315 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,665 Good luck to you. Bye. 316 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,598 Do good. Do good. 317 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,000 Bye. Have fun. 318 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,433 We're proud of you. 319 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,767 320 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,916 Bye. Okay. 321 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,248 Hey. Hey. Is this the bus to Mexico? 322 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,788 ALL: Yeah! 323 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:44,949 I'll take a shirt. 324 00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,083 Are you coming? 325 00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,318 If you'll have me, yes. Heck, yes. 326 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,057 Really? 327 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,366 Thank you. All right. 328 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,102 Michael? Get off the bus. 329 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,694 No, I'm not. I'm staying on the bus. 330 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,364 I'm already on the bus. I'm going. 331 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,099 Michael, this is irresponsible. 332 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,609 It is not irresponsible! 333 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,169 I have never been more confident about a decision in my life. 334 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,010 I agree. I think it's superb. 335 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,414 Well, you have a job to do. Okay? 336 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,678 There is no off-season when it comes to printer sales. 337 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,744 You know what? My job will be here when I get back. 338 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,790 Michael, you can't go to Mexico. 339 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,949 You don't have your passport. 340 00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,716 You don't need one to get in. 341 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,125 Plus, we can just have it sent to him down in Mexico. 342 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,252 Hey, right? 343 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:26,060 Michael, what am I supposed to tell my clients if they ask about you? 344 00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,432 Tell them that I died and I turned into an angel, 345 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,038 and when they feel a breeze 346 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,665 in a room with all the windows closed 347 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,472 or that chill on the back of their neck, 348 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,910 that is just me watching over them. 349 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,311 Okay, but what about the bigger corporate accounts? 350 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,439 Tell them that I'm in a meeting. 351 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,211 Michael, I am just about to close a sale. 352 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,616 Can I authorize a 15% discount? 353 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,676 No, you may not. 354 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,755 ERIN: I think it's really cool, Michael. 355 00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,888 I wish I had a job that I could just leave. 356 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,251 Thank you. 357 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,157 Save me an aisle seat, Michael! I'm coming! 358 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:03,099 I will not stand idly by while these Mexican villagers are sick. 359 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,864 We're actually building them a school. 360 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:05,927 Whatever. 361 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:06,995 They need to learn. 362 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,598 I won't... I won't stand for it. 363 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,312 See you in a few months. 364 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,244 If the whole world were like you guys, 365 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,081 we wouldn't have so many problems. 366 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,018 Hmm, that's not gonna happen. 367 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,522 We're one in a million. 368 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,682 I know. 369 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,591 Nobody I know would leave their jobs and friends and families 370 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,526 to do manual labor for three months. 371 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:33,324 Well, you know what? Everybody thinks that I am crazy, 372 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:37,632 and that tells me that I am the sanest person I know. So... 373 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,165 Just a heads up. Probably gonna be borrowing a few things. 374 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,641 Gonna need a contact lens case, 375 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,202 some sunscreen, some sandals... 376 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,412 Why you always got to be so mean to me? 377 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,926 Uh, Meemaw, where's Cece? 378 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,556 I don't know. I lost the purse, too. 379 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,939 Goodbye, Lackawanna county. 380 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,336 How long till we get to Mexico? 381 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,266 Well, two days minus... 382 00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,369 How long we've been on the road, 45 minutes? 383 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,246 So, like, two days basically. Maybe more. 384 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,409 What are we building down there again? 385 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,611 Like, a hospital? A school for Mexicans? What? 386 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,118 I don't know, I thought it was like a gymnasium or... 387 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,181 Why aren't they building it themselves? 388 00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,385 They don't know how. 389 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,927 Do we know how? I don't know how. 390 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,292 You know how? Well, Carla knows. 391 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,092 Carla knows. 392 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,494 Oh. 393 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,229 I feel like there were so many more people on this bus. 394 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:46,033 There were, like, 200, 300 people before. 395 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,935 Hey, Carla? 396 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,571 Carla? 397 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,110 Hi. What are you doing? 398 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,773 Mmm, trying to sleep. 399 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,717 What is happening? 400 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,622 Oh, God, what is happening? 401 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,191 Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese? 402 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,525 Oh, God, you know what? 403 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,863 I am gonna be in Mexico for my half-birthday. 404 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,837 And the Christmas party. And Cinco De Mayo. 405 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:20,806 Nah. No, we'll be back before that. 406 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:23,877 No, we... You know how these things go. 407 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,538 Construction projects, they say three months, 408 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:30,105 and then, after two years, the lazy bums haven't even started. 409 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,310 Now we're those lazy bums. 410 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,651 I gotta get off this bus. 411 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,690 Hey, guys, has anybody seen the baby? 412 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,786 Here's her carrier, but no Cece. 413 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,354 Jim, Jim, I want to give a toast. 414 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:46,592 Where's the little girl of honor? 415 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:47,656 I don't know, Dad. I don't know. 416 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,894 I don't mean to bug, 417 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,231 but do you know when those subs are due into port? 418 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,396 I got a hungry bunch of McPhersons over there. 419 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,996 I don't know. Hey, have you seen my baby? 420 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,564 I think maybe some blonde lady had her. 421 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,473 A small blonde woman? Smaller than me. 422 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,671 Everyone. Everyone, can I just have your attention? 423 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,441 Has anyone seen a small... 424 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,380 Stop that tiny, blonde woman! She stole my baby! 425 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,249 What are you doing? 426 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,343 Give me the baby. 427 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,218 What? Kevin! 428 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:12,986 Hi, honey. I was just changing the baby. 429 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,961 Hi. Hi. All right. 430 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,925 Travel safe, Angela. 431 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,863 Did you think I stole your baby? 432 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,025 What's that? 433 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,200 Oh, yeah, back then I did. Just now. 434 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:27,068 So don't, because I've got my eye on you. 435 00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,901 Look at these scones, Jim. 436 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,239 Give me that! 437 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,835 Thousands of them. 438 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:36,473 What kind of a person steals scones from a baby? 439 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,177 Someone put them in my bag. 440 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,182 So that was lunch, eh? 441 00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:45,120 McPherson troop, let's haul out. Rendezvous at Friendly's. 442 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,124 Did you lose Cece? 443 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,184 Yeah. 444 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,491 Yeah, a little bit. I did. 445 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,224 Can you fake a seizure or a heart attack or something? 446 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,667 I can make myself cry. 447 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,034 Do that. Do it. 448 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,903 Should I... I got it. I got it. 449 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:05,035 Hey, I saw a sign for a scenic overlook coming up. 450 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,545 Really love to check out the view. 451 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,103 Can't stop. We're on a schedule. 452 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,006 Well, there's a nice bistro coming up. 453 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,052 We could pick up some paninis for the road. 454 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,781 Maybe we'll stop in Tennessee. 455 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,186 It's unsafe to talk to a driver. 456 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:19,783 Okay, driver, driver, if you're not gonna stop this bus, 457 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,885 then I'm going to stop it for you. 458 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,829 Okay? Hang on. 459 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,400 Stopping in Tennessee. 460 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,761 Hey, is there a problem, you guys? 461 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,963 Yeah, just get him to stop the bus, please. 462 00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,129 Why? 463 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,902 Just make him stop the freaking bus! 464 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,068 Stop the bus, okay? 465 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,202 Are you okay, sir? 466 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,438 I didn't sign up for this. 467 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,209 You guys are young, that's great. 468 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,113 You want to give back to society. 469 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,549 I've done that. 470 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,745 I need to take. 471 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,811 You have plenty left to give. You're doing... 472 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:49,878 Blah-di-blah! 473 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,924 It doesn't matter. We could go back and forth all day. 474 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,721 It's not gonna solve anything. 475 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,989 If we went to Mexico, we'd probably screw everything up anyway. 476 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,963 Do you want that for little Jessica? No, you don't. 477 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,055 And the answer is clear. 478 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,164 Stop the bus. Okay? Stop the bus! 479 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,998 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 480 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,833 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 481 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,134 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 482 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,341 Okay, stop the dang bus. 483 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,908 Okay, well, a pleasure. 484 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,237 Go save the world. 485 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,408 We'll keep an eye on America for you. 486 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,487 Wait for me! 487 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,597 Don't say anything to my parents. 488 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,668 Get in quick. 489 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,445 Why quick? So it's faster. 490 00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,278 Do you guys want me to take you home or go back to the church? 491 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,479 Is anyone still at the church? 492 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:57,045 No. Actually, most of them went to go see a movie. 493 00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,384 What? Shut up. 494 00:20:58,457 --> 00:20:59,447 Yeah. 495 00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,255 Kevin suggested it, and then they all went in Meredith's minivan. 496 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:05,526 It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies. 497 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,329 I bet, you guys... 498 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,731 Can I come? 499 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,430 Oh! Lake Wobegon is on. 500 00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:14,905 Do you guys... Are you cool with that? 501 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,374 MAN ON RADIO: ...banana bread, but, 502 00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,671 Fred Northquest had no appetite. 503 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,838 He was thinking about his pair of new boots. 504 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:24,850 It'd been 10 years after all, and, as he told Mrs. Northquest, 505 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,684 it would take two years to get comfortable with the new boots.