1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,930 What about this one? It's kind of badass, right? 2 00:00:05,971 --> 00:00:08,531 It just seems kind of crazy in a way I might need right now. 3 00:00:08,707 --> 00:00:13,371 I don't know. Oh, that's not yours. 4 00:00:13,645 --> 00:00:16,045 JIM: Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug 5 00:00:16,148 --> 00:00:19,709 and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. 6 00:00:19,818 --> 00:00:22,116 So, the question has to be asked, 7 00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:25,350 is there no limit to what he won't notice? 8 00:00:25,924 --> 00:00:28,051 What's a seven-letter word for purse? 9 00:00:29,194 --> 00:00:30,422 Satchel. 10 00:00:30,596 --> 00:00:32,359 No. Starts with an "H." 11 00:00:32,431 --> 00:00:33,659 Handbag! 12 00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:36,223 Hmm, thank you. 13 00:00:38,737 --> 00:00:39,726 Shh. 14 00:00:50,782 --> 00:00:52,477 All right, everybody. Take a seat. 15 00:00:52,751 --> 00:00:55,811 As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter 16 00:00:55,954 --> 00:00:58,252 is up 8,000% in sales. 17 00:00:58,590 --> 00:00:59,852 18 00:01:03,128 --> 00:01:06,495 Hold up. That clock is slow. It is 5:00. 19 00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:08,824 I will see you all tomorrow. 20 00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:10,266 Bye, Stanley, love you. 21 00:01:14,339 --> 00:01:15,397 So long, Stanley. 22 00:01:15,474 --> 00:01:16,873 Night, everybody. 23 00:01:43,135 --> 00:01:44,693 So, what kind of statement are you making 24 00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:46,067 with that costume, Kevin? 25 00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:48,571 Well, the statement that I am making, Oscar, 26 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,972 is I kind of look like Michael Moore. 27 00:01:51,176 --> 00:01:52,473 28 00:01:52,878 --> 00:01:54,209 Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin. 29 00:01:54,313 --> 00:01:56,941 Happy Halloween. How can I haunt you today? 30 00:01:57,115 --> 00:01:59,481 A lot of people are really getting into Halloween this year. 31 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,018 Six seconds, MacGruber. 32 00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:02,951 Pam's got a lot of fun stuff planned... 33 00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:05,051 Two seconds, MacGruber. 34 00:02:05,123 --> 00:02:08,286 Including a costume contest and bobbing for apples 35 00:02:08,594 --> 00:02:09,788 and a ouija board. 36 00:02:09,861 --> 00:02:12,159 Oh! Boom! Oh! Explosion! 37 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:13,888 MacGruber! 38 00:02:14,666 --> 00:02:17,294 People are really into the costume contest this year. 39 00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,431 Might have something to do with the prize. Maybe you've heard of it? 40 00:02:20,539 --> 00:02:23,337 The 2011 Scranton-Wilkes-Barre coupon book, 41 00:02:23,408 --> 00:02:26,809 worth over $15,000 in savings. 42 00:02:28,847 --> 00:02:30,371 Stop. Too late. 43 00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:34,009 If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you'd be so strangled by now. 44 00:02:34,186 --> 00:02:36,916 And if you're out there, Strangler, you will get caught. 45 00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:38,513 By me. 46 00:02:38,757 --> 00:02:40,418 Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us 47 00:02:40,492 --> 00:02:42,016 that he's not the Scranton Strangler. 48 00:02:42,094 --> 00:02:43,857 To my chickens, I'm the Scranton Strangler. 49 00:02:45,464 --> 00:02:47,432 DWIGHT: Oh-ho. That's very funny. 50 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,498 Looks like someone decided to dress up as old Dwight Schrute's mom. 51 00:02:50,702 --> 00:02:52,465 What? You're only one-third as beautiful 52 00:02:52,537 --> 00:02:53,799 and about half her height. 53 00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:56,672 I am supposed to be Olive Oyl. And it makes more sense 54 00:02:56,742 --> 00:02:58,869 when I'm standing next to Popeye, 55 00:02:58,944 --> 00:03:01,412 but Jim doesn't wanna put his costume on. 56 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,874 I am Popeye. 57 00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:05,648 I've never really been a costume guy. 58 00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:08,445 Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for. 59 00:03:09,621 --> 00:03:14,024 And then this morning, Pam hands me this little number. 60 00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:15,817 No. 61 00:03:16,094 --> 00:03:20,758 In case you can't read my, my, my poker face, 62 00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:22,833 We will be reviewing our sales policies. 63 00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:27,468 I have 10 seconds to explain them or this whole place blows up. 64 00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:29,029 MacGruber! 65 00:03:29,941 --> 00:03:31,033 Lame. 66 00:03:31,643 --> 00:03:33,304 Why don't witches wear panties? 67 00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:34,503 Oh, here we go. 68 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,543 Because they need to grip the broom. 69 00:03:36,648 --> 00:03:37,808 70 00:03:39,117 --> 00:03:42,609 Oh! Who likes to water-ski on Lake Eerie? No, wait. 71 00:03:42,821 --> 00:03:44,049 Where does Dracula like to water-ski? 72 00:03:44,122 --> 00:03:45,282 Lake Eerie. 73 00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:47,325 When our warehouse workers make deliveries, 74 00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:50,418 they're gonna be encouraged to offer clients extra products. 75 00:03:50,662 --> 00:03:52,459 And then they will split those commissions with sales. 76 00:03:52,531 --> 00:03:55,091 Wait, so drivers are gonna be able to sell paper on the road? 77 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,156 That is correct. 78 00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:58,292 Has anyone started calling you Gabe-wad yet? 79 00:03:58,637 --> 00:03:59,661 Not here, no. 80 00:03:59,738 --> 00:04:00,796 Gabe-wad. 81 00:04:01,873 --> 00:04:03,340 GABE: Okay, guys. Fun is fun, but... 82 00:04:05,877 --> 00:04:06,866 Blackula. 83 00:04:06,945 --> 00:04:08,037 Dracula. 84 00:04:08,113 --> 00:04:10,843 Oh, so, and I almost forgot, 85 00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:12,408 you'll find this hilarious. 86 00:04:12,851 --> 00:04:16,685 Apparently corporate is going to have drivers 87 00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:19,280 sell paper on their routes now. 88 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:22,225 That's, like, exactly sort of the idea that you had. 89 00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:26,156 Yes, I do remember saying something like that to you. 90 00:04:26,465 --> 00:04:27,864 Yeah. 91 00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:29,923 I'm sorry. 92 00:04:30,635 --> 00:04:31,624 I blew this. 93 00:04:31,837 --> 00:04:33,270 You should have gotten credit for that, man. 94 00:04:33,438 --> 00:04:34,735 I'm just glad we're gonna try it out. 95 00:04:34,806 --> 00:04:35,932 Really? We're good? 96 00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:37,132 We're cool. 97 00:04:37,209 --> 00:04:38,506 Okay. 98 00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,304 Okay. What's that in your shirt? 99 00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:41,904 Oh. 100 00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:45,575 That's a ream of paper. I thought you might hit me. 101 00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:49,916 Darryl Philbin is the greatest guy in the world. 102 00:04:50,355 --> 00:04:51,447 And you know what I'd like? 103 00:04:51,556 --> 00:04:55,856 I would like to have all the racists brought together, 104 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,657 and take Darryl Philbin out to lunch, 105 00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,391 just to see what they're missing. 106 00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:01,855 It's a great stick, right? 107 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:02,957 RYAN: It's really good. 108 00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:05,569 A classic. I feel like you might win the whole thing with that. 109 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,738 Thanks. OSCAR: Everyone realizes 110 00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:11,003 this coupon book is not actually worth $15,000, right? 111 00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:13,806 You'd have to spend $200,000 on crap you don't even need 112 00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:15,804 to get $15,000 worth of benefits. 113 00:05:16,415 --> 00:05:18,246 I'm not the only one who sees this, right? RYAN: No. 114 00:05:18,316 --> 00:05:19,305 Well, sure. No. 115 00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:20,373 No. 116 00:05:20,452 --> 00:05:21,441 I get that. I get that. 117 00:05:21,686 --> 00:05:23,119 Uh, excuse me, everyone? 118 00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:26,487 I wanna invite you all to the Halloween party I'm having at my bar. 119 00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,020 You own a bar? 120 00:05:28,226 --> 00:05:30,160 Public School, at exit 11. 121 00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:34,461 That's a great name. You're hilarious. 122 00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:36,456 A plus! 123 00:05:36,535 --> 00:05:38,935 So, you're all on the list. 124 00:05:39,037 --> 00:05:42,029 Hey, man, can I get a plus five? It's all guys. 125 00:05:42,174 --> 00:05:44,802 Hey, what's the crowd like, Danny? Our age? 126 00:05:44,943 --> 00:05:45,932 Okay. 127 00:05:46,711 --> 00:05:49,976 I don't think that she would leave Jim for Danny. 128 00:05:50,081 --> 00:05:52,072 I don't know. They're both handsome. 129 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:56,311 Pam is gonna choose whoever has a scent most like that of her father. 130 00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:57,855 Does anyone remember what her dad smelled like? 131 00:05:58,089 --> 00:05:59,215 I think he... 132 00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:00,383 Hey, hey, gang, quiet. Here she comes. 133 00:06:01,359 --> 00:06:05,227 Did you hear about that Danny guy? Heard he used to date Pam. 134 00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:08,025 So, four years ago, when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, 135 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:11,728 and dating someone else, Pam went on two dates with Danny, 136 00:06:11,837 --> 00:06:14,203 which was obviously the greatest love story ever told, 137 00:06:14,272 --> 00:06:16,297 given how much people are walking on eggshells around us. 138 00:06:16,374 --> 00:06:18,535 We were basically Romeo and Juliet. That's right. 139 00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,510 Except where Juliet doesn't have that great a time 140 00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:22,672 and Romeo doesn't call back after two dates. 141 00:06:22,747 --> 00:06:23,805 Yikes. 142 00:06:23,915 --> 00:06:26,611 But I've learned to love again. 143 00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:28,653 He's a cartoon sailor, Oh! No. 144 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,984 And he looks so handsome in his uniform. No. 145 00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,045 Please! No, I'm not gonna... No. 146 00:06:32,524 --> 00:06:34,856 Tuna! Tuna! 147 00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:37,585 If you want us to skip this party... 148 00:06:37,762 --> 00:06:38,751 I don't care. 149 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,628 KEVIN: I am never gonna forget what Danny did to Pam. 150 00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,494 I forget nothing. 151 00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:45,161 I'm like an elephant in that way. 152 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:46,261 You know what else? 153 00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:49,307 This sucks for Jim, right? 154 00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,966 But it also sucks for us 155 00:06:51,042 --> 00:06:53,704 because we don't get invited to a ton of Halloween parties. 156 00:06:53,778 --> 00:06:56,406 Yeah. And like, everyone's gonna be there. 157 00:06:56,548 --> 00:06:58,140 Stanley, 158 00:06:58,216 --> 00:06:59,205 Phyllis, 159 00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:00,478 Angela, 160 00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:01,849 Darryl... 161 00:07:01,953 --> 00:07:04,012 Creed's a maybe. Creed's going? 162 00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:10,455 Madge from the warehouse just made her first sale. 163 00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:13,930 Madge! We should have been doing this a long time ago. 164 00:07:16,968 --> 00:07:21,428 Erin? Would you please do me a solid, 165 00:07:21,506 --> 00:07:24,703 and get Darryl Philbin on the speakerphone? 166 00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,302 167 00:07:26,378 --> 00:07:27,436 168 00:07:29,047 --> 00:07:30,071 Hello? 169 00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:31,775 Hi, Darryl, come out here, please. 170 00:07:32,851 --> 00:07:33,875 I'm good. 171 00:07:34,152 --> 00:07:35,551 You need to stop being so shy, 172 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:38,487 come out here and embrace who you really are, superstar. 173 00:07:38,557 --> 00:07:39,819 This is embarrassing, Michael. 174 00:07:39,891 --> 00:07:40,983 MICHAEL: Yeah, I bet it is. 175 00:07:41,059 --> 00:07:42,959 You're gonna do your job well here, 176 00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:44,859 you gotta get used to being embarrassed. 177 00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:46,227 Well, let me put my shoes on. 178 00:07:46,998 --> 00:07:48,192 179 00:07:49,768 --> 00:07:51,258 Hit the speakerphone button. 180 00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:54,005 The speakerphone button. 181 00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:55,697 Same button as you hit before. 182 00:07:56,675 --> 00:07:57,767 Same... AUTOMATED VOICE: Your call cannot... 183 00:07:57,842 --> 00:07:58,831 Or sit on it. 184 00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:02,877 This whole delivery slash sales idea, you know whose that was? 185 00:08:02,981 --> 00:08:04,107 That was Darryl Philbin's. 186 00:08:04,349 --> 00:08:08,183 He thought of that way before the corporate fatsuits. 187 00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,354 So, what happened? I got in the way. 188 00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:12,355 I said, "No," 189 00:08:12,457 --> 00:08:14,550 and it just stopped. 190 00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:17,652 But then, corporate comes up with this idea. 191 00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:21,358 But you know what? They need to know that it was yours. 192 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,094 And I don't care if I take a bullet. 193 00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:24,499 We are going to call them, 194 00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:26,662 we are gonna put them on speakerphone right now, Oh. Oh. 195 00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:29,567 And we are going to straighten this out. 196 00:08:29,674 --> 00:08:32,234 Screw corporate! They probably stole the idea anyway. 197 00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:33,843 MICHAEL: Mmm-hmm. Uh. 198 00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:35,071 Corporate stole nothing. Okay? 199 00:08:35,146 --> 00:08:36,670 Darryl brought this idea to me. 200 00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:39,249 And then I told them, giving Darryl full credit. So, 201 00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:41,246 no need to "screw corporate." 202 00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:44,113 Everyone, let's give Darryl a round of applause as planned. 203 00:08:49,527 --> 00:08:51,119 I'm a little peeved at Darryl right now. 204 00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:52,754 He went to Gabe behind your back! 205 00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:55,458 No, he didn't go behind my back. He went over my head. 206 00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,933 He went over your head to go behind your back. 207 00:08:58,670 --> 00:09:00,228 What is taking someone from behind? 208 00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:01,567 No. Shh. Michael, listen. 209 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,108 This cannot stand. You can't have workers going straight to corporate. 210 00:09:04,175 --> 00:09:05,369 It makes your job superfluous. 211 00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:06,808 It was a good idea, though. 212 00:09:06,911 --> 00:09:10,711 Yeah, here's another good idea, corporate chain of command. 213 00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:15,178 We need to strangle Darryl's idea. 214 00:09:15,987 --> 00:09:17,249 Hey, Danny. Hey. 215 00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:20,581 I'm really sorry, but we can't come to your party tonight. 216 00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:22,717 I was looking forward to throwing some darts with you guys. 217 00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:23,985 You were? Okay, well then... 218 00:09:24,062 --> 00:09:27,554 I mean, maybe we could do it like, next Halloween? 219 00:09:27,766 --> 00:09:28,755 For sure. We're just, like, 220 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,467 totally caught in the middle here. 221 00:09:30,535 --> 00:09:31,661 What are you talking about? 222 00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:34,731 Well, Jim and Pam basically begged us not to go. 223 00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:36,667 Jim and Pam really don't want you to go? 224 00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:40,168 They're really upset about the whole Danny situation. 225 00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:41,438 I'll talk to 'em. 226 00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:45,005 Yeah, but do you know what? Don't tell them that we said anything to you. 227 00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:46,874 Okay. 228 00:09:46,951 --> 00:09:48,316 Okay? Or you're dead. 229 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,409 Okay. 230 00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:50,510 Okay. 231 00:09:52,857 --> 00:09:55,417 Kelly! Great costume. 232 00:09:56,394 --> 00:10:00,228 Kelly! You cannot change costumes in the middle of the day! 233 00:10:00,331 --> 00:10:01,423 Pam, she's out. 234 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:05,298 If I'm out, I'm gonna sue this entire company for discrimination. 235 00:10:05,403 --> 00:10:07,928 Guys, you're arguing over a one-in-sixteen chance, 236 00:10:08,073 --> 00:10:10,564 over a prize worth $40. 237 00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:12,242 Fifteen thousand bucks, Oscar. 238 00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:13,709 Yeah, shut it, Oscar. Pam? 239 00:10:13,945 --> 00:10:15,469 This is an amazing prize. 240 00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:17,538 I mean, I don't even wanna give Pam a compliment, 241 00:10:17,615 --> 00:10:21,142 'cause she's so, ugh... But she did a good job. 242 00:10:21,219 --> 00:10:22,311 I really want that coupon book. 243 00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:24,948 Garbage magnet. Garbage magnet. 244 00:10:25,056 --> 00:10:27,217 God! Magnets are interesting enough, 245 00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:30,318 you don't need to tart 'em up with some design. 246 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:33,590 I can't believe this doesn't make you mad. 247 00:10:33,698 --> 00:10:35,131 What the hell are they talking about? 248 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:39,299 Hmm. Kevin and Gabe? Probably about the extremes of the human physique. 249 00:10:39,404 --> 00:10:41,133 Do you think Kevin is going over my head? 250 00:10:41,272 --> 00:10:44,799 I don't... Oh, my God. Okay. All right, all right, all right. 251 00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:47,743 You know what? That's inappropriate, Kevin. 252 00:10:47,846 --> 00:10:48,870 I am your boss. 253 00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:51,313 And if you have something to say, it goes through me, 254 00:10:51,483 --> 00:10:52,745 and then I take it to Gabe. 255 00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:54,507 Chain of command. Do you understand? 256 00:10:54,619 --> 00:10:56,348 I am so sorry. Oh, you're sorry? 257 00:10:56,488 --> 00:10:58,115 I just thought... What did you just thought? 258 00:10:58,723 --> 00:11:00,520 Well, Gabe asked me if there were 259 00:11:00,592 --> 00:11:03,254 any really cool Lady Gaga moves 260 00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:04,828 that he could do for the catwalk. 261 00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,054 And so, then I told... 262 00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:08,523 All right. 263 00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:10,726 I told him that there was this one cool move 264 00:11:10,835 --> 00:11:13,065 where she powers down like a robot. 265 00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:14,160 Okay. 266 00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:16,070 Okay? But I'm so sorry that... 267 00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:17,335 All right. I didn't tell you first. 268 00:11:17,408 --> 00:11:19,535 Well, don't let it happen again. 269 00:11:19,611 --> 00:11:22,171 You think that I would let this happen again? 270 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,941 No way, Jose! 271 00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:25,740 Um. 272 00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,083 you, Gabe. 273 00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:32,980 Can you imagine? It's just crazy. 274 00:11:33,057 --> 00:11:34,115 JIM: That is crazy. 275 00:11:34,392 --> 00:11:36,451 We would never care if Andy or Kevin went to your party. 276 00:11:36,528 --> 00:11:38,621 Look, I'm just glad we can laugh about it, 277 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:41,198 because I was a little nervous about coming to work here, 278 00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:42,699 with, you know, our history. 279 00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:45,199 Oh, my gosh. Everyone keeps blowing that out of proportion. 280 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,329 It's not even a history. Exactly. 281 00:11:47,438 --> 00:11:50,134 It's not like you guys had some long relationship, right? 282 00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:52,001 Big painful breakup I don't know about? 283 00:11:52,076 --> 00:11:53,168 No! 284 00:11:53,478 --> 00:11:54,706 Two or three dates. It was two. 285 00:11:55,079 --> 00:11:56,478 Was it two? I thought it was three. 286 00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:59,278 No, we had plans for a third, 287 00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:01,841 but then, I don't know, you never called me back. So... 288 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,444 Oh! You can't handle the truth! 289 00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:04,545 290 00:12:04,622 --> 00:12:06,487 Well, that does not sound like me. 291 00:12:06,558 --> 00:12:08,992 Yeah. It was, though. That's what happened. 292 00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:11,187 Uh. 293 00:12:12,397 --> 00:12:14,695 Well, great, I just wanted to make sure things weren't weird. 294 00:12:14,899 --> 00:12:16,025 Uh-uh. 295 00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:21,161 Okay. This whole going over my head gate 296 00:12:21,272 --> 00:12:22,705 is making people act weird. 297 00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:24,169 Chain of command is crumbling. 298 00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:26,368 Do you know what just happened? I just made Kevin cry. 299 00:12:26,744 --> 00:12:29,907 And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That's not Halloween. 300 00:12:30,248 --> 00:12:33,342 Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters 301 00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:34,680 and not be mad at each other. 302 00:12:34,752 --> 00:12:36,481 I'm not mad. Are you mad? 303 00:12:36,621 --> 00:12:39,089 You went over my head, and then you lied to my face. 304 00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,591 So, my head and my face have taken a beating. 305 00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:44,451 Well, I'm sorry if it seems that way to you. 306 00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:45,654 Okay, that might help. 307 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:47,823 If you said "I'm sorry" in front of everybody... 308 00:12:47,999 --> 00:12:49,091 Mike. ...in front of me. 309 00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:52,295 You made a bad call and I fixed it. 310 00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:54,098 So, I'm not apologizing. 311 00:12:54,239 --> 00:12:55,900 So, that's it? 312 00:12:56,341 --> 00:12:57,672 That's it. Is it? 313 00:12:58,076 --> 00:12:59,134 Yes. 314 00:13:02,714 --> 00:13:03,703 Sookie! 315 00:13:04,148 --> 00:13:05,240 316 00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:08,213 Bill Compton from True Blood. 317 00:13:08,286 --> 00:13:11,483 How many freaking vampires am I supposed to care about these days? 318 00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:13,687 Well, I guess you could say I'm still in costume. 319 00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:16,554 I'm a rational "consumer." 320 00:13:17,228 --> 00:13:18,490 Oh. Oh, yeah. So, it's... 321 00:13:20,698 --> 00:13:22,757 This stupid coupon booklet. 322 00:13:23,468 --> 00:13:25,493 Have you seen my costume? I'm a rational "consumer." 323 00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:28,004 Yeah, I heard you say it to Phyllis. That's a good line. 324 00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,663 Okay, everybody. After you walk the runway, 325 00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:33,210 everyone has to vote for who gets the coupon book. 326 00:13:33,278 --> 00:13:34,643 And you can't vote for yourself. 327 00:13:34,712 --> 00:13:37,146 Pam, can you vote for other people? 328 00:13:37,215 --> 00:13:40,241 Hey, I gotta get in on this. Hey, it's cool, man. 329 00:13:40,318 --> 00:13:43,412 I work in the warehouse. I'm cool! 330 00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:45,351 I'm hip and I'm jive! 331 00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:47,783 But I don't care about nobody! 332 00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:49,458 Do you know who I am? 333 00:13:49,594 --> 00:13:52,461 Happy Halloween, jerk! 334 00:13:53,698 --> 00:13:54,858 Still don't know who I am? 335 00:13:55,199 --> 00:13:56,632 I'll give you a hint. 336 00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:58,764 I go over other people's heads. 337 00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:00,232 Michael, this is a bad idea. 338 00:14:00,305 --> 00:14:01,499 What's a bad idea? 339 00:14:01,739 --> 00:14:04,606 Dressing up as somebody. I mean, when has that ever worked for you? 340 00:14:04,742 --> 00:14:05,731 Never! 341 00:14:06,577 --> 00:14:09,375 Okay, you know what, fine. I'm not Darryl. 342 00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,309 And thank God I'm not Darryl. 343 00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:13,609 Could you have for once just let us enjoy a party, 344 00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,448 instead of making it about all your issues? 345 00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:18,987 346 00:14:19,557 --> 00:14:21,047 347 00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:22,953 348 00:14:24,495 --> 00:14:25,723 349 00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:26,886 That's a warrior! 350 00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:36,930 I present to you the rational "consumer," 351 00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:38,464 as it were. 352 00:14:46,484 --> 00:14:48,281 TODD: Slow, nice and slow, honey. 353 00:14:48,353 --> 00:14:49,581 PAM: Angela as a nurse. 354 00:14:49,687 --> 00:14:51,314 Don't... No, slow it down. CREED: There it is. 355 00:14:51,422 --> 00:14:52,446 ANGELA: I don't like your tone. 356 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:55,659 Look, they were sold out of all the other costumes, okay? 357 00:14:57,495 --> 00:14:59,463 I think we all live in the real world here. 358 00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:03,056 Let's not pretend to be unaware of what sells in this office. 359 00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:04,259 PHYLLIS: What should we ask? 360 00:15:04,335 --> 00:15:05,893 Hey, can I play? 361 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:09,599 Why don't you ask if Darryl is a bad friend 362 00:15:09,707 --> 00:15:11,004 who backstabs people in the back? 363 00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:14,309 We have one question to ask the spirit world and you want us to ask that? 364 00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:16,173 He says no. 365 00:15:16,247 --> 00:15:18,010 Uh, Darryl moved it. You moved it. 366 00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:19,206 No. 367 00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:20,807 Hey, Dwight, you saw Darryl move it, right? 368 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,715 Let's just say I saw exactly what the two of you wanted me to see. 369 00:15:25,857 --> 00:15:27,848 I know how to sit on a fence. 370 00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:30,519 Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. 371 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:33,826 The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth. 372 00:15:34,132 --> 00:15:36,327 If you had one word you would use to describe Darryl, 373 00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:37,868 what would that word be? 374 00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:40,695 ERIN: A... 375 00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:43,162 S... 376 00:15:43,808 --> 00:15:44,797 S... 377 00:15:48,146 --> 00:15:49,773 H... No! 378 00:15:50,581 --> 00:15:52,242 Uh. E... 379 00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:53,839 T. 380 00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:55,077 An asset. 381 00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:56,547 382 00:15:58,756 --> 00:15:59,745 That's enough. 383 00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:05,886 I don't think it's gonna work out the way you think. 384 00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:07,525 I don't think you get it. 385 00:16:10,568 --> 00:16:12,035 Hey. Hey. 386 00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:13,262 This is some party, huh? 387 00:16:13,337 --> 00:16:15,601 When you work hard, you play hard around here. 388 00:16:15,673 --> 00:16:16,697 Even if you don't work hard. 389 00:16:16,874 --> 00:16:17,932 390 00:16:19,677 --> 00:16:20,905 Oh, here's something. 391 00:16:20,978 --> 00:16:22,070 Uh. 392 00:16:22,146 --> 00:16:24,944 Why didn't you ever call Pam back? 393 00:16:25,216 --> 00:16:26,205 Serious? 394 00:16:27,251 --> 00:16:30,243 Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that everybody has to fall in love or anything. 395 00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:31,548 I'm just saying, but... To, you know, 396 00:16:31,622 --> 00:16:33,055 to not even call her back is... 397 00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:35,684 You know what it was? I think she gave me her number, 398 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,785 but then, her fours look like eights and... 399 00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:38,886 Could be. 400 00:16:38,963 --> 00:16:42,364 But you also called her the second time, so you had the number right. 401 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:43,422 TODD: Halpert, 402 00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,969 you looking for someone to bang your wife? 403 00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:47,435 No. Okay. 404 00:16:48,906 --> 00:16:49,895 You want to know? 405 00:16:50,341 --> 00:16:51,330 406 00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:53,577 I didn't call her back because she spent the whole date 407 00:16:53,644 --> 00:16:54,770 talking about you. 408 00:16:55,446 --> 00:16:58,108 She was obviously in love with you. 409 00:17:00,418 --> 00:17:01,851 Fifty-seven, fifty-eight... 410 00:17:01,919 --> 00:17:03,546 Wait, wait. She hasn't moved in a while. 411 00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:05,146 Erin! 412 00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:08,192 Two! I got two! I ate two whole apples! 413 00:17:08,493 --> 00:17:09,551 414 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:15,264 I'd remember talking about Jim. That wasn't it. 415 00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:17,834 Just tell her the real reason. 416 00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:20,260 Do you honestly wanna know why I didn't call her back 417 00:17:20,338 --> 00:17:21,737 on a date over four years ago? 418 00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:23,034 Hey, she had a nice time. 419 00:17:23,107 --> 00:17:24,096 It seems rude. Well... 420 00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:25,802 I did. Yeah, and it's one of those things 421 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,435 that's just gonna keep gnawing at me. 422 00:17:27,845 --> 00:17:30,780 Like, gnaw, gnaw... "Why? Why didn't he? I have no idea why." 423 00:17:30,948 --> 00:17:33,576 Okay, honestly, I didn't call you back 424 00:17:33,684 --> 00:17:35,914 because I just thought you seemed a little 425 00:17:35,987 --> 00:17:37,011 dorky. 426 00:17:40,224 --> 00:17:41,623 Hey, man... Thank you! 427 00:17:41,692 --> 00:17:44,286 Thank you. I got it. 428 00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,929 Now I know. 429 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:49,299 You thought I was a little dorky. You know? 430 00:17:51,102 --> 00:17:56,665 Okay. Well, excuse me. 431 00:17:58,876 --> 00:18:01,401 In the future, you need to get Michael's approval on anything 432 00:18:01,479 --> 00:18:03,208 before coming to me. Thank you. 433 00:18:03,281 --> 00:18:05,146 You're gonna miss out on some good ideas. 434 00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:08,009 Okay, well, obviously if it's a really, really good idea, 435 00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:09,211 then my door is open. 436 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,845 If they're good ideas, I'm not gonna say, "No." 437 00:18:11,989 --> 00:18:13,013 You said, "No" to this one. 438 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:15,524 That's... Okay, I make one mistake in 15 years 439 00:18:15,593 --> 00:18:17,117 and you drag me over the coals. 440 00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:18,319 After everything I did for you? 441 00:18:18,396 --> 00:18:19,385 What have you done for me? 442 00:18:19,664 --> 00:18:21,495 Oh, well... What have you done for me? 443 00:18:21,632 --> 00:18:23,566 Ed Truck hired me. 444 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,067 Jo promoted me. 445 00:18:25,136 --> 00:18:28,537 Gabe listened to me. All you've ever done was say, "No" to me. 446 00:18:31,242 --> 00:18:33,267 I have ambition, 447 00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:35,278 and you kept me at the same level for years. 448 00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:37,678 Dropping bombs, right? 449 00:18:38,182 --> 00:18:39,274 450 00:18:39,684 --> 00:18:40,776 This really make you think, Michael? 451 00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:43,411 Stop it. Stop. Stop. We're thinking. 452 00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:45,989 We're thinking about it. GABE: Yeah. 453 00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:48,355 You don't have to point to the fact that we're thinking about it. 454 00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:50,017 Stop it. Just let us think. 455 00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:55,229 Okay, next time you have a really great idea, 456 00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:57,267 we will put it in a hat, 457 00:18:58,035 --> 00:19:00,833 and then we will have Erin pick it out of the hat and let her decide. 458 00:19:00,905 --> 00:19:02,304 I don't understand the point of a hat. 459 00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:04,401 You're right, we don't need a hat. 460 00:19:04,475 --> 00:19:06,170 I am not budging on the hat issue. 461 00:19:06,277 --> 00:19:08,802 Okay, we're gonna table the hat question. 462 00:19:08,913 --> 00:19:10,346 The best ideas are gonna come to me. 463 00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,712 I make the final decision, period. 464 00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:17,117 Okay, we both reserve the right to go to Jo if we disagree with Gabe. 465 00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:19,147 Okay. DARRYL: Fair enough. 466 00:19:19,423 --> 00:19:22,221 Why don't we simplify this? Darryl brings it to Michael, 467 00:19:22,326 --> 00:19:24,988 Michael brings it to me, no one calls Jo. 468 00:19:26,764 --> 00:19:28,561 Unless you and I decide we wanna talk to Jo, 469 00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:29,691 then we'll give her a call. 470 00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:31,358 Cool. 471 00:19:31,435 --> 00:19:33,335 Hey, sorry I left. 472 00:19:33,437 --> 00:19:35,598 I'm sorry I was a jerk. 473 00:19:37,341 --> 00:19:38,672 MICHAEL: Friends fight. 474 00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:40,970 Friends fight. 475 00:19:41,178 --> 00:19:42,167 What's up, man? 476 00:19:42,713 --> 00:19:44,044 Sometimes it seems like it was better 477 00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:45,377 down in the warehouse, you know? 478 00:19:45,449 --> 00:19:47,212 When I was a freshman in college, 479 00:19:47,285 --> 00:19:49,276 I worked at the student newspaper, 480 00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:51,480 the Cornell Daily Sun. This was at Cornell. 481 00:19:51,555 --> 00:19:54,854 I had to write an op-ed column every day, "Bernard's Regards." 482 00:19:55,393 --> 00:19:56,724 This was your freshman year? 483 00:19:57,094 --> 00:20:00,154 I started to ask myself, do I have big plans here? 484 00:20:00,564 --> 00:20:03,089 I didn't wanna become editor of that paper, so 485 00:20:03,401 --> 00:20:05,733 I got up and walked right out of Walter Bernard Hall, 486 00:20:06,103 --> 00:20:07,934 and that's actually when I heard 487 00:20:08,239 --> 00:20:10,139 eight male voices 488 00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,504 singing, 489 00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:14,177 unencumbered by instruments. 490 00:20:15,079 --> 00:20:16,103 I was hooked. 491 00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:20,241 So, is becoming CEO of this company 492 00:20:22,653 --> 00:20:23,847 your a cappella group? 493 00:20:25,556 --> 00:20:27,581 Come on. We're going to Danny's bar, Public School. 494 00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,488 No, I got some work to do. 495 00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:32,122 I do have big plans at this company. 496 00:20:32,897 --> 00:20:34,558 ERIN: She... It was fantastic. Yeah. 497 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,156 It was like a little gentle... 498 00:20:37,568 --> 00:20:40,059 JIM: To be honest, I still can't believe he didn't call her back. 499 00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:44,101 Who doesn't call a dork like that back? 500 00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:48,141 Oh! Wow! 501 00:20:48,312 --> 00:20:49,574 Spinach in a can! 502 00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:50,978 Power from spinach! 503 00:20:51,082 --> 00:20:52,140 Ag, ag, ag, ag, ag, ag! 504 00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:53,410 Oh, my hero! 505 00:20:58,389 --> 00:21:01,187 PAM: Okay, everyone, I've tallied the votes, and the winner 506 00:21:01,692 --> 00:21:03,887 of the Costume Celebration Spectacular 507 00:21:03,961 --> 00:21:05,986 and the Scranton-Wilkes-Barre coupon book, 508 00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:07,223 Oscar Martinez. 509 00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:09,655 PHYLLIS: Who? 510 00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:14,436 If I have to vote for someone, 511 00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,700 I don't want it to be someone who can beat me. 512 00:21:17,742 --> 00:21:20,472 Shake things up. I'm a Nader guy. 513 00:21:21,379 --> 00:21:25,315 Best Edward James Olmos costume I've ever seen. 514 00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,045 Like, freaky good.