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This programme contains
some strong language.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Ladies and gentlemen...

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welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.

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Hello! Ha-ha-ha!

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Well, it's my son Dermot
and Maria's wedding this week...

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Everybody's so excited.

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Cathy is worried about fitting
into that dress so she's going to
her aerobics.

9
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Yeah, aero...
that's a made-up name.

10
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I think the gym owners said,
"We'd better call it something fancy,

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"cos they won't pay if we just call
it feckin' jumping up and down."

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Ow!

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Sorry... a bit distracted,
it's not just the wedding,

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it's Dermot's reaction to it.

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Dermot doesn't take stress well.

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When his father died, he went into
the wardrobe in his bedroom
and didn't come out for two weeks!

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Hiya, Mammy.

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Hello, son.
Would you like a cup of tea?

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Yeah, Mammy.

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A penny for your thoughts, love. Just
thinking about me getting married!

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Do you see what I mean?

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My God, it's hard to believe
you'll soon have children of your own
to worry about.

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And after the way you treated me,
I hope they break your feckin' heart!

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Do you remember
being pregnant on me?

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Ha-ha. Do I remember?

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I'll never forget it, son.

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Me arse was as wide as the
arrivals gate in Dublin Airport!

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What were you hoping I'd be?
Your father's!

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Seriously?

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Don't be a feckin' idiot,
of course not!

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Your arrival was a big event
in my life. I'll never forget it...

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12 pounds, 8 ounces you were.

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They couldn't even
get you with the forceps.

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At one point I thought they were
going for a tow truck and a rope!

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22 stitches I had.

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I could walk down both sides of
Grafton Street at the same time.

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I'll never forget it.

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A beautiful, sunny Tuesday! Saturday!

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Saturday! Saturday, yeah!

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In July.

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September. September, yeah!

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Which feckin' one are you?

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No, it was lovely and the
nurses in Galway were so nice.
I thought I was born in Dublin.

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No, Galway. It would have been Dublin
only your father wanted
to stay for the last race!

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I don't think I'm ready
to be a parent.

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For feck's sake, son,
none of us are!

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Any parent will tell you.

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You're an amateur parent
with an amateur child,

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and just when you
have the job right...

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they marry someone and leave.

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Yeah, well...

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Mammy, don't worry,
I'll never be far away.

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Don't you feckin' threaten me, son!

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Good morning! Morning, Rory!
Morning, Mammy! Hello, love!

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Dermot, getting nervous yet?

56
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Stop, stop it! Leave me alone!

57
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Rory, have you and Dino decided
which girls you're going to be
bringing to the wedding?

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Er, no. Listen, I have to dash.
I'll see you later. Bye-bye!

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He's in a feckin' hurry!

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Mammy, Rory's not bringing
a girl to the wedding. Why not?

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Mammy,
what if I turn out like me dad?

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You and Rory need to talk.
He's not into women.

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What are you saying? I said,
"What if I turn out like me dad?"

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No, not you, love, Cathy.

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I heard what you said! You won't.

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Rory is... a friend of Dorothy's.

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Can't he bring Dorothy
to the wedding, then?

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Wouldn't that be all right?

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I have to go.
Mammy, we'll talk later.

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What if I become an alcoholic?

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Your father wasn't an alcoholic.

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We couldn't afford that.

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He was a drunk!

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Yeah, I know what you mean, yes.

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Well, marriage is not just all
about sex. Now that's what I say.

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Yes... Oh, you're so right!

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Oh, listen,
I remember when one night himself...

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oh, he went... he went from
one o'clock in the morning
till quarter past two!

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Yeah. No, well, it was the night
that the clocks went forward!

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Mammy, for God's sake!
Oh, hold on. What, Cathy?

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Just order the pizza!

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So that's a...

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a deep pan Hawaiian, a pepperoni
and a side order of garlic bread.

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All right, thank you!

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Mammy, sit down for a second.

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What, Cathy?

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Look at this.

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I want you to take
a little time to read this.

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What is it?

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Homosexuality And Me.

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I want you to read it, Mammy.

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I want you to look around you for
signs and then we'll have a talk.

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Signs? What kind of signs?

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Read it... and then we'll talk.

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I wish you'd tell me
what this is all about.

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G'day, g'day!

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Hello, son!

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Oh, do you smell wedding cake?

99
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I smell wedding cake! Do you
smell wedding cake? Don't, Mammy.

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Maria standing there in a beautiful
white gown, think about that!

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Stop, Ma, not now!

102
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I'm only getting excited.

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I'd love to be a feckin' kangaroo.

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I'd have had 12 children
if I could have matured
them in me handbag!

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Do you want a cup of tea, love?
No, thanks, Ma.

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I'm fine, it's just...

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everything's happening so fast.

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I feel...

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Doesn't matter. Never mind.

110
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I can't believe your boss
made you hop around
the week you're getting married!

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He didn't ask me, I wanted to.

112
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I'm going for me bath.

113
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Make sure to wash your Joey!

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Dermot! Can I just say something?

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I'm off, Mammy!

116
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I'll see you, love.

117
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And, Mammy, read the book! I will.

118
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How are you, Mrs Brown?
Is Dermot here?

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Dermot!

120
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There's a gobshite
down here looking for you!

121
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And me!

122
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So how's your speech coming along?

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I'm still trying to
pronounce me haitches more.

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Your best man's speech
for the wedding!

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The best man's speech
is the highlight of the reception!

126
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Really?!

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You didn't know you'd to
make a speech at the wedding?!

128
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No.

129
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I suppose I'll just make something
up on the day. No, you won't!

130
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Jacko was our best man and he did
that and loads of crap came out.

131
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You will not. You'll write a speech
before the wedding and you'll run it
past me first. Are we clear? Yeah!

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I'd die if Dermot's marriage
was a repeat of my own.

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That man feckin' ruined our wedding!

134
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Right, Mrs Brown...

135
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will you tell Dermot
to follow me down to Foley's?

136
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I've some thinking to do.

137
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Yes, you have.

138
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Holy God!

139
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Cathy's a lesbian.

140
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What?!

141
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,079
Cathy.

142
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,079
It explains a lot. She's a lesbian!

143
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,999
But what about Mick the boyfriend?

144
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He must be a lesbian, too!

145
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Mick is a homo?

146
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,719
Winnie, the book says
you can't say that.

147
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It's not politically correct.

148
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What do you say, then?

149
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I don't know. Queer, I think.

150
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Right so!

151
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Now goodnight, folks. Come on.
You got no homes to go to?

152
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,360
Agnes, what does the book say
is the signs of being a lesbian?

153
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"There will be a noticeable
absence of men in her life."

154
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That's very vague, Agnes.

155
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Sure, your husband's dead
and my Jacko's always in hospital!

156
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Jesus, that's true!

157
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,119
Well, here...

158
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"The closest person to her will be
another woman

159
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"and it will become apparent
that she feels she cannot
be without that woman."

160
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Again, Agnes, that could be anyone.

161
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,320
Sure, that could be me or you!

162
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What does the book say...

163
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lesbians do together?

164
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,040
Does it mention bingo?

165
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,800
We'd better move. Yeah!

166
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:38,879
I'm going to go home, ring Jacko
at the hospital, and have phone sex.

167
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,879
He'll be asleep, for God's sake!

168
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,079
Well, I'll leave a message then.

169
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,239
Listen, I'm going to pay Mr Foley
for the drink he's leaving
at the house.

170
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,239
Right. You go on ahead.
Goodnight then, love. Goodnight.

171
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,440
Goodnight, love. Yeah.

172
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,679
Mr Foley. Hello. That's the stuff
we need and there's a few bob.

173
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,839
Two dozen lager, two dozen stout,
case of wine, assorted spirits...

174
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,959
half a dozen Babycham? Rory! Oh...

175
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,160
I'll tot it up! Thanks very much.

176
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,760
What about this? Jesus Christ!

177
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You were that close to death!

178
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,919
Ahem. "What is the story,
everybody?"

179
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,599
No, no... that's,

180
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,440
"Ladies and gentleman
and Reverend Father..."

181
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,239
It's his best man's speech. Oh!

182
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,080
"Ladies and gentlemen
and Reverend Father...

183
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,439
"the first time me
and Dermot went shoplifting..."

184
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,479
Scratch that!

185
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,519
My Dermot never went shoplifting!

186
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,800
He did!

187
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,600
Of course he didn't...

188
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,720
What about this?

189
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,839
"Me and Dermot met in a private
school... " Yeah, that's nice!

190
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,399
"recommended by a judge."

191
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,959
NO! It's funny but, isn't it?
No! It's not funny!

192
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,760
What did Dermot think of this effort?

193
00:11:08,761 --> 00:11:10,919
He didn't come down to Foley's.

194
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,199
I tried to call him
but his phone's turned off.

195
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,199
Good luck!

196
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,799
It doesn't take two and a half hours
to have a bath.

197
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,719
Maybe he went out to Maria's.

198
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,999
Thanks very much, Mr Foley.
There you go.

199
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,639
Huh, kids. What are you going to do,
hey?

200
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,239
Hey. Well, with our Nicole we're
really lucky. Ah, that's nice.

201
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,519
No, no, she's good as gold...
I'll tell you now, hey,
Josh and Oliver...

202
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,600
Mr Foley...
Agnes fuckin' bored now. Goodnight!

203
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,599
Is there anything I can do?
Anything that will cheer you up?

204
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,999
No! Just leave me alone, Mammy!

205
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,559
You don't have to get married!
I want to! Then what's wrong?

206
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,519
I just need to think.

207
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,599
That's what you said when your
father died. You didn't come out
for two feckin' weeks!

208
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,960
And we don't have two weeks, Dermot.

209
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,839
Hiya, Mammy!

210
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,520
Dermot's in the cupboard again!

211
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,279
Hiya, Dermot! Hiya, Cathy.

212
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,480
Do you want tea? No, thanks.

213
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,559
Do you want tea, Mammy? Yes,
I've made some. It's on the table.

214
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,840
You're breaking your mother's heart!

215
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,919
Dermot?

216
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,599
The man is here
about the wedding video!

217
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,559
Mammy, did you read the book?

218
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,239
Yes. Well? Is it you?

219
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,519
What?! No. For God's sake, Mammy!

220
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,759
Well, I've been looking for signs
but everywhere I look, I see signs!

221
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,959
Listen...

222
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,999
"Many people will have a homosexual
experience while in prison."

223
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,279
Dermot was in prison.

224
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,399
Is that why he's in the cupboard?
So he can...

225
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,479
"Come out"?

226
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,039
Mammy! No, it's not Dermot.

227
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,079
Well, now,

228
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:17,399
"The homosexual will try
on many occasions to give
the family hints or signs."

229
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,079
You gave me the book.
Are you sure it's not you?

230
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,279
No! If it was me, I'd tell you!

231
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,160
There you are.
It's not you or Dermot,

232
00:13:25,161 --> 00:13:28,360
I know it's not Mark, and Trevor's
celibate. Which only leaves?

233
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,599
It's me!

234
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,200
Waaah!

235
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,959
No, it's not you, Mammy!
For God's sake. Thank Jesus!

236
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,520
Think about who you left out.

237
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,759
Rory?! Exactly.

238
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,960
Don't be ridiculous. If it was Rory,
he'd have tried to tell me.

239
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,999
Hiya, Agnes, love.

240
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,479
Sit down, Winnie.
I want to tell you something.

241
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,559
Jesus, Agnes. What's wrong?

242
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,519
Rory is homosexual.

243
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,159
I know, but what's wrong?

244
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,120
What do you mean, you feckin' know?!

245
00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:14,959
Agnes, everyone knows!

246
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,600
Why didn't you
say that in the pub?

247
00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:19,159
Cos I thought you were
looking for lesbians!

248
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,040
Feckin' idiot.

249
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,479
"Even the police who
arrested us love Dermot..."

250
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,640
Get out! Out!

251
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,639
Here, Do you want me to do
anything for the wedding, pet?

252
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,519
No, no, we're all set.
It'll be a great day, Agnes! Yeah.

253
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,960
Even though you are losing Dermot.

254
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,400
Another one gone, what?

255
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,759
Look, I should go.

256
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,159
I have to get across to the hospital
with them clothes for Jacko.

257
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,839
He's coming out for the wedding!
Of course he is.

258
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,080
Everything's free!

259
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,999
You know, I have to get
two buses across to that hospital.

260
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,799
Two buses over and two buses back?
Four buses? Yeah!

261
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,399
Twice a day? Eight buses.

262
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,959
Seven days a week, fifty six buses!

263
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,759
Yeah! If the man had any decency,
he'd fuckin' die!

264
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,999
Agnes!

265
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,040
I'm only joking!

266
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,879
It's not a bypass he needs,
it's a bus pass!

267
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,519
Well,
thank God he's coming home tomorrow!

268
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,039
Yes. I'll tell the bus company,

269
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,360
they can let some staff go!

270
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,599
So, Father...

271
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,639
busy?

272
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,879
Well, er...

273
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,559
No, not too bad.

274
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,199
This time of year tends
to be quiet. Oh!

275
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,760
It's open!

276
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,320
I'm so sorry I'm late, Mrs Brown...

277
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:46,999
Oh, hello, Father Quinn.

278
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,399
Where's Dermot?
Yes, Mrs Brown, where IS Dermot?

279
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,159
He's in the cupboard!

280
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,959
The cupboard? Are you OK, Dermot?

281
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,839
Yes, love!

282
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,400
Right, then...

283
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,079
let's begin.
But the groom is in the cupboard.

284
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,639
How can we have a pre-marriage
talk with him in there?

285
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,679
Did you hear that, Dermot? Yes!

286
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,759
He can hear you, Father. Go ahead!

287
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,840
Well...

288
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,399
You two, having declared
your intention to marry,

289
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,839
will be asked on the wedding day
to make certain vows,

290
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:23,599
now, not just to each other
but to the Lord Almighty himself.
Now, do you understand this?

291
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,759
Yes. What vows?

292
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,599
Well, to bring your children up
as strong and Christian soldiers.

293
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,919
Are we expecting a war, Father?

294
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:37,279
And you know the church's stance
on contraception and divorce?

295
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,440
Yes, and you need to cop on.

296
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,040
Look, Father, if you don't play the
game, don't make the feckin' rules!

297
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,799
Mrs Brown!

298
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,279
Father, marriages aren't made in
heaven, they're made here in Finglas,

299
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,479
or in Birmingham,
or Liverpool, or New York.

300
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,080
And it's tough.

301
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,079
You fight with each other,
you love each other

302
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,599
and sometimes you'll feckin' hate
each other. But with God's help...

303
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,959
Ah, "With God's help..."

304
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,639
God'll help you stay sane,
the rest is up to you!

305
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,439
It's about respect
and learning to love!

306
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,879
Yes, and children! Learning to
love your children, no matter what.

307
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,159
Whether they go to prison, or lock
themselves in a feckin' cupboard,

308
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,079
or even if they're homosexual.
Am I right, Father?

309
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,399
Well, er... homosexual is a bit...

310
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,439
And if you get it right, and I
think these two have got it right...

311
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,399
Oh, Maria,

312
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,440
you can be happy. Happier
than you ever thought possible.

313
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,999
There's your
pre-marriage chat, Maria...

314
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,480
Do you have anything
to add to that, Father?

315
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,320
No.

316
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,319
Not a thing. Thank you, Father.

317
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,480
Goodnight and God bless you.

318
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,639
Goodnight, Dermot. Father, you're
talking to the ironing board now.

319
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,999
Goodnight, Dermot.

320
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,040
Goodnight, Father.

321
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,759
Rory...

322
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,319
I want to talk to you...
about your illness.

323
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,679
Mammy, it's not an illness!
Well, it's not normal!

324
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,160
Mammy!

325
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,559
Fine.

326
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,919
Rory...

327
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,239
what I'm trying to say is...

328
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,999
you are what you are. Whatever you
are, I will always be your mother.

329
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,359
And I want you to know that it
doesn't matter how far we are apart,

330
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,959
or long we are apart,
I will always be here waiting...

331
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,279
with a loving heart.

332
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,679
Awww! It's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

333
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,359
I read it on a card!

334
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,639
May you rest in peace.

335
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,839
Mammy!

336
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,440
Sorry.

337
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,559
Rory,
what I am trying to say is...

338
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:59,680
have you ever considered
that you might be... homosexual?

339
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,119
Now, I know this comes
as a bit of a shock.

340
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:10,319
And you probably want to think about
it, but here's a book. Here!

341
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,079
That'll explain everything,

342
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,879
except why Cathy hasn't got
a boyfriend even though
she's not lesbian or gay.

343
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,759
Mammy!

344
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,879
Sorry.

345
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,880
Thanks, Mammy.

346
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,160
Oh, you're hurting Mammy now!

347
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,839
OK, erm...

348
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,440
I'd better go and... read.
Do, love.

349
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,720
Well, Mammy, I thought
you handled that very well.

350
00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:45,079
It wasn't easy, it was difficult.

351
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,679
I hope Rory never has to have that
talk with any of his own children.

352
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,559
Dermot, love...

353
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,400
your wedding suit is here.
I don't care!

354
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,919
You should go up and have a bath
for the big day tomorrow.

355
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,760
No. Go away.

356
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,879
Cathy, what are we going to do?

357
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,360
The wedding's tomorrow and we won't
all fit in that fuckin' cupboard!

358
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,519
Mrs Brown,
I think I have it this time...

359
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,319
Lovely. Leave it on the table,
Buster. I'll read it later.

360
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,119
God, Buster, you look exhausted!

361
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,719
I am, Cathy,
I haven't slept for two days.

362
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,639
Well, you want to sleep tonight.
We need you fresh tomorrow!

363
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,639
Don't worry.

364
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,719
Hold on, Buster. Yeah? Read this
to Mammy and see what she thinks.

365
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,319
Leave it there. I'll read it later.
No, Mammy. Listen now. Sit down.

366
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,480
Here, Buster...

367
00:20:43,481 --> 00:20:45,080
Read!

368
00:20:51,401 --> 00:20:54,239
"Ladies and gentlemen
and the Reverend Father."

369
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,440
Yeah, very well done, well done.

370
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,479
"Can you believe that
Dermot Brown is married?

371
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,080
"And to such a beautiful girl."

372
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,240
From there.

373
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,119
But you're skipping me joke about
the camel, the nun and the coconut!

374
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,599
We'll live... read!

375
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,479
Let's hope the camel does.

376
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:21,399
"I don't know why Dermo picked me
to be his best friend...

377
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,719
"but I'm really glad he did.

378
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,600
"All I ever wanted to be
when I grew up was Dermot Brown.

379
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,839
"He's the one who makes you laugh

380
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,520
"even when you're in prison."

381
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,080
I'll take that out.

382
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:48,719
"I don't know why, but someone,
somewhere looked down on me
and thought...

383
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,880
"'that eejit
needs a guardian angel'...

384
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,400
"and they sent Dermot Brown."

385
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,680
I'm going up for me bath!

386
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,360
So, what do you want changed?

387
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,159
Nothing. I think it's
absolutely perfect, Buster.

388
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,280
Oh, yes!

389
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,719
So, Winnie, Jacko's blind now, is he?

390
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,319
It was his own fault, Agnes.

391
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,519
He was dying for a cigarette as
soon as he got out of that hospital!

392
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,000
If only he'd taken off
the oxygen mask!

393
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,799
Yeah.

394
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,799
Whooooo! Wah-hey!

395
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,199
God, I'd nearly go straight myself!

396
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,079
Really?! No!

397
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,799
Not even Father Quinn
will be safe today!

398
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,840
Shag off!

399
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,719
Well, well, Cathy.

400
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,719
You look different!

401
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:09,360
So what do you think, Mammy? I think
you've never looked more beautiful.

402
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,599
Mammy, that's the suit
from Marcelle's window.

403
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,039
Isn't it beautiful? You couldn't
afford that. Where did you get it?

404
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,000
It was a surprise, I came out
of the shower and someone left it
on the bed for me!

405
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,079
Grandad, you can't go like that!

406
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,519
Ma, Grandad's stripped again!

407
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,399
Oh, for God's sake, Cathy.
I thought I told you to dress him!

408
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,159
Yeah, Mammy, twice already.
He keeps taking off the suit!

409
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,199
Well, go back up and put it on him.

410
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,120
And staple the feckin' thing
to him if you have to!

411
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,079
Well, at least he's wearing
more than Cathy!

412
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,640
Careful, Winnie, you'll end up having
a meal through a tube beside Jacko.

413
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,119
"Ladies and gentlemen
and the Reverend Father..."

414
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,080
Yeah! We've heard it before. Get out!

415
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,879
Here, Agnes...

416
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,360
remember the excitement
the morning of my wedding?

417
00:24:08,361 --> 00:24:10,599
I do. Sure, mine was the same!

418
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,519
I remember standing on the altar and
the priest looked at me and he said,

419
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,279
"Agnes, do you take...

420
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,559
"this... to be
your lawfully wedded husband?"

421
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:26,319
And I remember, I looked
into Jacko's eyes and I whispered,
"I do".

422
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:30,279
I remember, I looked into
Redser's eyes and I said,

423
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,640
"I'll see."

424
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,319
Here, you had that Father...

425
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,239
Oh, what was his name? Oh, erm...

426
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,199
Father McCrum!
Right, Agnes, McCrum.

427
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,279
And in his deep voice, he said,

428
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,559
"I now pronounce you man and wife!"
Yes...

429
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,279
and then me waters broke! Yeah!

430
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,599
Well, someone's having a good time!

431
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,519
Hello! Hiya!
We were just over at Maria's...

432
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:00,359
She looks stunning! Does she?
And her hair's only fabulous!

433
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,559
Of course!

434
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,759
OK, everybody.

435
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,639
It's the big moment.

436
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,039
Ladies and gentlemen...
Dermot Brown!

437
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,719
Oh, my God, Dermot...

438
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,519
you look amazing! Thanks, Mammy!

439
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,479
It only feels like yesterday
I was bathing you...

440
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,919
It was yesterday!

441
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,079
Dermot, son...

442
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,200
I've never told you
that I'm proud of you.

443
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,919
Right.

444
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:40,239
Let's get down to the church
and get this thing feckin' started!

445
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,439
Get the flowers! Get the flowers!

446
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,120
I'll get the feckin' flowers!

447
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,359
Well, that's that then...

448
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,680
Another one gone. Huh!

449
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,159
It's always difficult for a mother
when another one leaves the nest.

450
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,919
But that's our job, you know,

451
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,800
to get them ready to go out into
the mad, mad world on their own.

452
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,839
It'll be strange to look
into Dermot's bedroom
and just see an empty bed...

453
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,839
and a stack of dirty magazines!

454
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,439
Mammy! Dermot?

455
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,039
Is there any chance Maria and me
can stay here for a while,

456
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,760
just until we get
a place of our own?

457
00:26:23,761 --> 00:26:27,999
Of course. You and Maria can stay
here for as long as you like.
As long as you feckin' like!

458
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,799
Thanks, Ma.
That's a load off me mind.

459
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,319
It's a load off my mind!

460
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,080
Will I ever get feckin' rid of them?

461
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:41,800
I'll see you, goodbye!