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CHANDRA: How much?
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MAN: 6 million.
7
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But that's ridiculous.
8
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It's worth 30.
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It'll have to be split up.
We'll lose 40% of it.
10
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,479
Enough!
11
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What?
12
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I am Clouseau,
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and justice will be done
in the name of the law.
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[GUNSHOT]
15
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[THE PINK PANTHER THEME
PLAYING]
16
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[TAP TAP]
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[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
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[BEEPING]
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[POP]
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[BANG]
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00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,247
[CLICKING]
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[BOOM]
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00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:44,670
[CLINKING]
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One year ago today,
inspector Jacques Clouseau,
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the police academy's most
illustrious graduate, disappeared.
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We found it appropriate to broadcast
this commemorative program
27
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from the academy,
28
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where a new generation
of police officers
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00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,958
are about to receive
their shields.
30
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The question on every
frenchman's mind is…
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"What has happened to
France's greatest detective?
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Why haven't the authorities been
able to solve the mystery?"
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Woman:
Monsieur President?
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Tell the police commissioner
35
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I want to see him.
36
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:54,507
Oui, Monsieur President.
37
00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:00,179
The President himself
gave the order!
38
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,815
And at 3:00 this morning
the commissioner woke me up
39
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:06,652
to say he was putting me
in charge. Me! Ha ha ha!
40
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,356
And I've got one month to make
Operation Paragon a success.
41
00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:12,892
Otherwise, I'll be back
on the vice squad
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staking out pissoirs for
what is left of my career.
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Operation Paragon?
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Yes.
The President's idea.
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00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,335
If France's greatest
detective is missing,
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then get the world's greatest
detective to find him.
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And how do you find the
world's greatest detective?
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By computer.
[CHUCKLES]
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The commissioner's idea.
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Interpol has computer files
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on every law enforcement
agency in the world.
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And I am supposed
to program the computer
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00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,720
to select Clouseau's clone.
54
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,388
But Clouseau…
55
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,523
You and I know he was an idiot,
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00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:48,427
but the rest of the world sees him
as a fearless deductive genius…
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00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,029
Another Sherlock Holmes…
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00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,231
And that's the type of man
we are now looking for.
59
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,566
Then you have a problem.
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00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,702
Yes, because a man like this
might find Clouseau.
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00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,371
A horrible thought.
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00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,706
What's the alternative?
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00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,875
I don't know.
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[CHUCKLES]
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I'm damned if I do…
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And I'm damned if I don't.
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[COMPUTERS WHIRRING]
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A series 600 Huxley computer.
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00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,735
You can program it by
voice command, you know.
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Wait. Observe this.
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Activate.
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[BEEPING AND CLICKING]
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00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,075
Aldous.
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00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:38,411
Ready, Dave.
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00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:41,247
Aldous can even recognize
people's voices.
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00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,482
Amazing.
Elementary.
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Chief inspector Dreyfus, Suréte,
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00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:47,587
vital statistics, please.
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00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,422
Coming up, Dave.
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00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,791
[HUMMING]
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00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,659
What's the delay?
82
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,261
Lots of material.
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00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:58,464
Just give an
abbreviated version then.
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00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:01,267
All right.
Charles LaRousse Dreyfus.
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Born Marseilles April 1, 19…
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Skip that.
Skip that.
87
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,943
What is the subject's
present occupation?
88
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,446
Subject's present occupation…
89
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:17,016
Chief inspector,
criminal division… Suréte.
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00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,118
How's his health?
91
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:21,787
Last complete
physical examination…
92
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:24,457
January 7th, this year.
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Chronic hypertension.
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00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:30,629
May, 1978, suffered
nervous breakdown
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and was committed
to the state mental…
96
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,467
Skip that bit.
Sorry.
97
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,835
Do you want to ask him anything?
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00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,371
Uh… yes. Ahem.
99
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,473
What are the odds
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00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:43,542
that the greatest
detective in the world
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will find Clouseau?
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Even money.
Take your pick.
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00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:53,719
Well, aren't you being
slightly optimistic?
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00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,488
Not at all.
105
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:58,991
Why? Are you afraid
he'll drive you crazy again?
106
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,826
Cool it, Aldous.
107
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,729
Just responding with
an obvious observation.
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00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:07,833
I hope I didn't offend you,
inspector Dreyfus.
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Not at all.
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00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:13,572
By the way, it's chief
inspector Dreyfus.
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00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,675
Shame on you, Aldous.
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Nobody's perfect.
Have a happy day.
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00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,514
[KNOCKING]
Yes?
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00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:24,550
Prisoner Steiger has arrived.
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00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,052
Show him in.
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Come in.
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Wait outside.
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Sit down.
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Maurice Steiger…
15 years for bank robbery.
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Hmm.
121
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Uh, how much was it?
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About 150 million.
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Give or take a few francs.
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And it's never been recovered.
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It must be hell
sitting in prison,
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dreaming about what you could do
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with all that money, hmm?
128
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,728
It's not so bad.
129
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,563
I'm a model prisoner.
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00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,565
I come up for parole
in six months.
131
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,733
Yes, but there's always a chance
132
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:17,069
the parole board
will turn you down.
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00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,738
Ah, I see.
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00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,474
I tell you where the money is,
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and you put in a good word
with the parole board.
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00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,911
No.
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00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,413
Listen…
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00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:31,584
It took a computer
genius to embezzle
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00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:35,588
150 million francs
from the Bank of France…
140
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:38,124
And, I… ahem… have a problem
141
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,260
that requires a computer genius.
142
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,429
You help me solve that problem,
143
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,598
and in 6 months time
you'll be a free man,
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00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:49,268
living out 150 million dreams.
Ha ha ha!
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00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:51,637
Give or take a few dreams.
146
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,272
What's your problem?
147
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:57,143
Can you rig a computer
148
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so that no matter what
I program into it
149
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:04,116
it will select
the exact opposite?
150
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,951
Black is white?
Day is night?
151
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,786
Exactly.
152
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,822
What sort of computer?
153
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:14,960
A Huxley 600.
154
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:17,129
There is only one of
those in this country.
155
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:20,199
How are you going to
get me into Interpol?
156
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,134
Hmm, I can't.
157
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,803
Then how do you
expect me to rig it?
158
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:28,307
I don't. I expect you
to tell me how to rig it.
159
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,509
[SIRENS]
160
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:41,820
The President has just arrived
161
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:45,057
and is being greeted by
sergeant Duvall of the Suréte,
162
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,193
and secretary general DuLong
of Interpol.
163
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,161
And now we switch
to Michelle Chauvin
164
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:51,830
who is about to interview
the star of these proceedings.
165
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:53,232
Good morning, Michelle.
166
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,734
This is chief inspector dreyfuss
of the Suréte.
167
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,070
You're the one who's
gonna program Aldous
168
00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:00,673
to select Clouseau's successor?
169
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:01,674
Yes, uh…
170
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,175
Oh, no,
171
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:06,178
he's not gonna be
Clouseau's successor.
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00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:07,846
Why not a she?
173
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,181
What?
174
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:11,183
Well, couldn't it
just as easily be a woman,
175
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:14,587
or are you purposefully
programming it to be a man?
176
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,022
Oh, no, no, no.
177
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,058
We are just trying
to find the best,
178
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:20,226
the most qualified…
179
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:21,727
The most like Clouseau.
180
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,230
[CHUCKLES]
Yes.
181
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:25,231
Yes.
182
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,865
To paraphrase an old saying,
183
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:30,035
"send a great detective
to find a great detective."
184
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,704
Exactly, but, uh,
185
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:34,873
he or she will not be
Clouseau's successor.
186
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:38,210
I mean, they won't be
going to work for the Suréte,
187
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:39,211
I hope.
188
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,080
[CLAPPING]
Excuse me.
189
00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:43,582
The President has just arrived.
190
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,751
In a few moments,
Aldous the computer,
191
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:47,219
will select from the files
192
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,622
of all the law enforcement
agencies in the world
193
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:52,725
the one man or woman
194
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,727
most qualified to solve
the disappearance
195
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,562
of France's greatest detective.
196
00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:58,097
And screw up my entire life.
197
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,798
Just over a year ago,
198
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,233
while investigating
yet another theft
199
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,902
of the famous diamond,
The Pink Panther,
200
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:07,072
inspector Clouseau seemed to
vanish from the face of the earth,
201
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:10,743
leaving behind one of France's
greatest unsolved mysteries.
202
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:12,911
Not to mention the 4,000
francs he owes me.
203
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:15,914
And now, working on a theory that
the best person to find Clouseau
204
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:18,917
is someone almost
exactly like Clouseau,
205
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:22,621
chief inspector Dreyfus will
program Aldous the computer
206
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,157
with a character profile
of inspector Clouseau.
207
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:28,260
That's going to put a hell of
a strain on poor old Aldous.
208
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,129
Obviously,
Mr. President,
209
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:32,264
so as not to limit our choice,
210
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:36,168
I will omit sex, height, weight,
211
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:39,305
race, and nationality.
212
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,309
Ready, Aldous?
213
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:44,977
Ready, Charles.
214
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:50,215
Age… 61.
215
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:54,353
Senior officer.
216
00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,691
I.q…
217
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:01,794
[CHUCKLES,
COUGHS]
218
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:04,330
Ahem. Genius.
219
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,702
Specialties…
220
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:14,840
Judo, kung fu,
okinawan weaponry,
221
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:18,711
karate expert…
222
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,979
[SNICKERING]
223
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:22,848
Black belt.
224
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:31,657
Expert ma… Ma…
225
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,226
Marksman.
226
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:37,162
Fearless.
227
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,732
Courageous.
228
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,202
A born leader.
229
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,205
[SMOTHERED LAUGHTER]
230
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,406
Sir.
231
00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,174
Is that it, chief?
232
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,043
Mm-hmm.
233
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:52,177
Select.
234
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:54,413
Coming right up.
235
00:16:54,446 --> 00:17:00,919
[HUMMING]
236
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,723
What is he humming?
237
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,760
It sounds like Moon River…
238
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,261
Backwards.
239
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:14,266
Chief inspector Dreyfus
is obviously nervous.
240
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,368
The President
and the commissioner
241
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:18,937
are waiting tensely as
the moment draws near.
242
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,739
Aldous:
Ladies and gentlemen,
243
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,242
after thoroughly
searching the records
244
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:28,714
of 13,623,055 candidates,
245
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:32,251
I have come up with your man.
246
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:33,252
It's a man.
247
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:34,887
From the 11th precinct
248
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,790
of the New York City
police department,
249
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,258
I give you…
250
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:41,727
A little drum roll, please…
251
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,563
[DRUM ROLL]
252
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:49,468
…officer Clifton Sleigh.
253
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,238
[FALSETTO]
Got a light, big boy?
254
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:58,410
Clif, broads don't call
guys "big boy" anymore.
255
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,947
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh. Right, Charlie.
256
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:04,316
[CLINK]
257
00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:06,118
I thought you didn't smoke.
258
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,420
I think it kinda
goes with the look.
259
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,322
Thanks.
260
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,126
[COUGHING]
261
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:16,295
[COUGHING OVER RADIO]
262
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,998
Jesus, I don't believe it.
263
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,266
He's gonna blow their cover.
264
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,134
[ COUGH]
265
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,470
That's a nasty cough
you got there, lady.
266
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,606
You shouldn't oughta be smokin.
267
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:29,007
I lost a contact lense.
268
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,109
What?
269
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,510
I lost a lens.
270
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:34,513
I'll look for it later.
Can't you just do with one?
271
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:37,015
I can't see without it
and it cost me 85 bucks.
272
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,151
I'll lend you the money,
for godsakes.
273
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,486
Oh, my… I found it.
274
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,855
Come on, let's go.
275
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:55,300
Well…
276
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,035
[COUGHS]
277
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,838
[FALSETTO]
See you later.
278
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,514
[COUGHING]
279
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,151
He's gonna blow it.
280
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,987
CHARLIE: He's
gonna blow it.
281
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,188
Stay with him.
282
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,990
Don't forget
the guys we're after
283
00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:20,325
put a little old lady
in a hospital.
284
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,995
I can't believe the lieutenant
would let a screw-up like Sleigh
285
00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:24,229
work this kind of stakeout.
286
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:26,565
The lieutenant's been under
a lot of pressure lately.
287
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,534
Yeah? What kind of pressure?
288
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,068
Sleigh.
289
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,170
He's been driving
the lieutenant bananas.
290
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,539
Maybe he hopes Sleigh
291
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:35,874
will end up
like the little old lady.
292
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,342
Ah, come on.
293
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,544
To tell you the truth,
294
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,246
that thought has passed
through my mind.
295
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:47,452
MAN: Stop! Stop!
Back up! Back up! Back up!
296
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:55,060
Stop! Stop! Go forward.
Go forward.
297
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:57,296
Now, stop!
298
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,567
Hi there, beautiful.
299
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,902
Pardon me. I…
300
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:07,372
I feel that I know you.
301
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,374
Are you by any chance
302
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:13,579
Sheila Swanhill from
Petoskey, Michigan?
303
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:15,047
[JINGLING]
304
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,449
Well, if not, um…
305
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:20,452
Are you her sister
306
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:24,056
or in any way related
to the Swanhill family?
307
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:28,226
Obviously not. You would
have recognized me by now.
308
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:32,631
Allow me to introduce myself.
Holly Hamill Carr III.
309
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,268
I'm in cement.
310
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:38,236
Did you know that Petoskey
311
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:42,074
is the cement capital
of the world?
312
00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:44,977
Huh. Some drunk's
trying to pick him up.
313
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:50,115
She had a cousin named…
314
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:54,286
Huh. Lindtrude.
315
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:57,589
[FALSETTO]
My name's Doreena.
316
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:02,094
♪ Doreena!
317
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:05,097
You have a lovely voice.
318
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,966
♪ You do
319
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,268
♪ something to me
320
00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:13,105
♪ something that
321
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:16,108
♪ simply mystifies me
322
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,276
♪ tell me
323
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,312
♪ why should it be
324
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:23,649
♪ you have the power
to hypnotize me ♪
325
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,684
[DOGS BARKING]
326
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,452
It's getting out of hand.
327
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:28,954
Hey!
328
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,456
[SINGING]
329
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:34,293
I want you off my street!
330
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,294
SLEIGH: What are you
doing to me?
331
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,296
CHARLIE: A real hooker's
just joined the party.
332
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,465
[SHOUTING]
333
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:43,302
[TIRES SCREECH]
334
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,504
[SHOUTING]
335
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:54,179
Charlie:
I'm going in.
336
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:59,351
[SCREAMING AND SHOUTING]
337
00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:05,524
[SIREN]
338
00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:16,201
Not only did you
screw up the stakeout,
339
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:18,670
but another little
old lady was mugged.
340
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:20,405
To make matters worse,
341
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:22,674
we're the laughingstock
of the whole 28th precinct,
342
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:25,343
and by the time those crumbs get
through spreading it around town,
343
00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:27,045
we'll be the laughingstock
344
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,181
of the whole goddamn
New York City police force.
345
00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,515
With all due respect…
346
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:31,850
What respect?
347
00:22:31,883 --> 00:22:33,518
What do you know about respect?
348
00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:35,353
You sure as hell
don't respect me.
349
00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:37,189
Oh, yes, I do.
350
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:38,690
I got an ulcer,
I'm losing my hair,
351
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:41,393
and you're driving me
straight to the funny farm!
352
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:43,361
You call that respect?!
353
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:45,530
What happened tonight was
not entirely my fault.
354
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,699
3 years on the police force,
355
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:51,069
you don't know how to
handle a common drunk?!
356
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:53,238
You had to be there.
357
00:22:53,271 --> 00:22:55,407
Sleigh…
358
00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,045
If it wasn't for the fact
359
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:04,216
that you're a third-
generation police officer
360
00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:07,385
and that your father
was not only my captain
361
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,221
but my daughter's godfather
362
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:12,557
and a close personal
friend of nearly 20 years,
363
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:16,061
I'd have you back doing guard
duty at the public library!
364
00:23:16,094 --> 00:23:19,731
I request no special attention
because of my family.
365
00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:22,234
Don't tell me what you request!
366
00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,469
I owe your old man!
367
00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:27,806
Your grandfather talked me
into being a cop!
368
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:30,575
He used to walk the
toughest beat in Boston
369
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:32,244
carrying only
a rolled-up newspaper!
370
00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:33,612
He still carries it.
371
00:23:33,645 --> 00:23:35,647
Sleigh…
372
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:40,152
Until this came,
I was a desperate man
373
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,454
faced with 2 choices…
374
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,756
Retirement or murdering you.
375
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:47,325
Gee, I don't know what to say.
376
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,795
Fortunately, you don't
have to say anything.
377
00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:52,664
The police commissioner
said it for both of us.
378
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:55,600
Congratulations, Sleigh.
379
00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:59,137
You're assigned to
special duty with Suréte.
380
00:24:02,808 --> 00:24:05,477
Suréte? Me?
381
00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:09,314
Paris, France?
382
00:24:11,516 --> 00:24:14,519
There must be some mistake.
383
00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:17,956
Oh, undoubtedly.
384
00:24:17,989 --> 00:24:19,791
I trust you'll bring this error
385
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:23,795
to the commissioner's attention.
386
00:24:23,829 --> 00:24:26,364
[CHUCKLES]
I considered it.
387
00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:30,335
But then I remembered the immortal
words of Theodore Doppler,
388
00:24:30,368 --> 00:24:32,704
the Cousbay Strangler
whose death sentence
389
00:24:32,737 --> 00:24:35,173
was commuted 2 minutes before
they pulled the switch.
390
00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:39,211
"Never look a gift horse
in the mouth."
391
00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:41,313
[CHUCKLING]
392
00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:43,348
Bon voyage, Sleigh.
393
00:24:44,382 --> 00:24:47,185
Bon voyage.
394
00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:51,890
My bag.
395
00:24:56,862 --> 00:24:58,230
Unh.
396
00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:02,701
[GROWLS]
397
00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:19,251
Hey, business is booming since
Clouseau disappeared, huh?
398
00:25:19,284 --> 00:25:22,254
Yeah. My books show an increase
of 18% since February.
399
00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:24,356
Gambling accounted
for half a billion.
400
00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:25,724
Nearly double last year.
401
00:25:25,757 --> 00:25:27,525
You think that's good?
402
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:30,228
Wait'll you hear the rundown
on drugs and prostitution.
403
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:31,429
Hold it a second.
404
00:25:31,463 --> 00:25:33,365
Don't take a genius to know
405
00:25:33,398 --> 00:25:34,933
when Clouseau isn't around,
business flourishes.
406
00:25:34,966 --> 00:25:37,602
Still hard to believe.
You ever meet the guy?
407
00:25:37,636 --> 00:25:40,372
Yeah, I met him once.
Acted like a real idiot.
408
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:41,706
Facts are facts.
409
00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:44,709
If this American detective is
as good as they say he is,
410
00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:47,245
we're gonna have Clouseau
right back in our laps.
411
00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:50,215
Maybe Clouseau
isn't just missing.
412
00:25:50,248 --> 00:25:51,950
Yeah.
Maybe he's dead.
413
00:25:51,983 --> 00:25:54,386
Can't take that chance.
414
00:25:54,419 --> 00:25:56,388
So what do we do?
415
00:25:56,421 --> 00:25:58,256
Get rid of the American.
416
00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,392
I'll call Calucci in Chicago.
417
00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:01,826
Have him put out a contract.
418
00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:11,403
P.A.: TransWorld
Airlines flight 24
419
00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:13,972
for Chicago and Dayton,
420
00:26:14,005 --> 00:26:17,909
will depart from gate 39.
421
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:22,514
Passengers may proceed
to the gate area for check in.
422
00:26:23,848 --> 00:26:26,618
[WIND HOWLING]
423
00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:45,804
TransWorld Airlines flight
24 for Chicago and Dayton,
424
00:26:45,837 --> 00:26:49,774
will depart from gate 39.
425
00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:54,479
Passengers may proceed
to gate area for check in.
426
00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:24,042
Excuse me, please,
but where do I check in?
427
00:27:24,075 --> 00:27:26,811
Sleigh:
Check in?
428
00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:27,846
Right over there.
429
00:27:27,879 --> 00:27:29,347
[WIND HOWLING]
430
00:27:30,348 --> 00:27:32,317
[SCREAMING]
431
00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:33,485
[THUD]
432
00:27:33,518 --> 00:27:34,686
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Ahh!
433
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:49,668
How did it happen?
434
00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:51,002
We don't know.
435
00:27:51,036 --> 00:27:52,670
He fell from a balcony.
436
00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:54,672
Never got a shot at him.
437
00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:57,042
When does this
sergeant Sleigh land?
438
00:27:57,075 --> 00:28:00,412
Eleven-twenty,
tomorrow morning, TWA.
439
00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:02,380
You want us to hit him
at the airport?
440
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:03,515
Right.
441
00:28:03,548 --> 00:28:05,717
Great.
This time, no slip-ups.
442
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:10,588
[HONK HONK]
443
00:28:21,966 --> 00:28:24,569
[WHIRRING]
444
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:38,416
[WHIRRING]
445
00:28:40,618 --> 00:28:41,886
It's very Nice to see you.
446
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,989
We've been waiting
for you. This way.
447
00:29:05,777 --> 00:29:07,612
Out through here?
448
00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:15,120
Aah!
449
00:29:18,189 --> 00:29:19,958
Oof!
450
00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:21,459
[SHOUTING IN FRENCH]
451
00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:24,629
Aah!
452
00:29:26,164 --> 00:29:28,166
Yes, commisioner.
453
00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:30,802
Quite remarkable.
[CHUCKLING]
454
00:29:30,835 --> 00:29:33,938
It seems the computer
certainly picked
455
00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:36,474
the right man for the job.
456
00:29:38,309 --> 00:29:39,944
Yes, sir.
457
00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:42,147
Thank you, sir.
458
00:29:46,017 --> 00:29:48,486
[BUZZ]
459
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,687
Yes?
460
00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,789
Detective Sleigh has arrived.
461
00:29:51,823 --> 00:29:54,192
Show him in.
462
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:01,065
Detective sergeant
Clifton Sleigh.
463
00:30:03,034 --> 00:30:04,068
Oh!
464
00:30:05,837 --> 00:30:07,505
Aah!
465
00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:15,647
How is he, doctor?
466
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,315
Well, he'll be here
for a few weeks,
467
00:30:17,348 --> 00:30:19,817
but he's very lucky.
We just got him in time.
468
00:30:19,851 --> 00:30:22,187
He could have choked to
death on that goldfish.
469
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:23,655
Can I see him?
470
00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:25,156
Yes, but don't stay too long.
471
00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:27,025
He's very tired.
472
00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:34,732
Hello.
473
00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:39,537
I won't stay long.
474
00:30:39,571 --> 00:30:41,573
I wish I could say the same.
475
00:30:41,606 --> 00:30:44,242
Is there anything
I can do for you?
476
00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:45,577
Ahh…
477
00:30:45,610 --> 00:30:47,679
Are you in much pain?
478
00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:52,016
Ah, my leg hurts, but
my throat is killing me.
479
00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,686
You nearly choked
to death on a goldfish.
480
00:30:54,719 --> 00:30:57,222
Where is he?
481
00:30:57,255 --> 00:31:00,058
I don't know. I don't
think they kept it.
482
00:31:00,091 --> 00:31:04,062
Not the fish!
Detective Sleigh!
483
00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:07,065
Oh. He waited around until
he heard you were all right,
484
00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:09,100
then he went over to
Clouseau's apartment.
485
00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:11,936
But he said he'd be back
to see you this evening.
486
00:31:11,970 --> 00:31:13,204
Wonderful.
487
00:31:13,238 --> 00:31:14,872
He said he wanted
to make it up to you
488
00:31:14,906 --> 00:31:17,709
by solving the case
as quickly as possible.
489
00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:19,210
You know, François,
490
00:31:19,244 --> 00:31:20,378
I have a horrible feeling
491
00:31:20,411 --> 00:31:23,281
we're seeing history
repeat itself.
492
00:31:23,314 --> 00:31:25,250
What do you mean?
493
00:31:25,283 --> 00:31:28,219
When they were pulling
out the goldfish,
494
00:31:28,253 --> 00:31:30,054
I remember thinking,
495
00:31:30,088 --> 00:31:33,891
"did Clouseau have any
relatives in the states?"
496
00:31:33,925 --> 00:31:37,095
You mean… Oh, but
that's impossible.
497
00:31:37,128 --> 00:31:39,897
You programmed
the computer yourself.
498
00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:41,232
[CHUCKLES]
499
00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:44,736
Compared to me, I'm afraid
500
00:31:44,769 --> 00:31:48,273
Baron Frankenstein was a quack.
501
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:08,626
[BUZZ]
502
00:32:10,028 --> 00:32:11,996
[BUZZ]
503
00:33:35,279 --> 00:33:36,914
[WINDOW SQUEAKS]
504
00:33:43,554 --> 00:33:45,223
Aah!
505
00:35:00,164 --> 00:35:02,133
Hmm.
506
00:35:06,003 --> 00:35:07,271
Yaah!
507
00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:12,343
Aah! Oh, god!
Oh, god!
508
00:35:26,157 --> 00:35:28,059
Aah!
509
00:35:31,395 --> 00:35:33,498
Ooh! Ha ha ha!
510
00:35:33,531 --> 00:35:36,067
Ooh! Ooh! Aah!
511
00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:42,340
Unh!
512
00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:58,890
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
513
00:36:00,525 --> 00:36:02,860
[RING]
514
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:04,662
[RING]
515
00:36:04,695 --> 00:36:06,264
Aah!
516
00:36:08,032 --> 00:36:10,167
Inspector Clouseau museum.
517
00:36:10,201 --> 00:36:11,903
This is Balls.
Is this Cato?
518
00:36:11,936 --> 00:36:14,338
No. This is Sumo
the night janitor.
519
00:36:14,372 --> 00:36:16,374
Mr. Cato is
in south America.
520
00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:17,875
Merde!
521
00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:19,176
I am not giving you any merde.
522
00:36:19,210 --> 00:36:20,545
Where's the money?
523
00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:22,380
I don't know anything about
any money he owes you.
524
00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:24,348
If you want to get
in touch with him,
525
00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:26,217
he can be reached
at the Rio Hilton.
526
00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:28,085
Mor merde!
527
00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:30,187
And the same to you, professor.
528
00:36:30,221 --> 00:36:31,255
[HANGS UP]
529
00:36:31,289 --> 00:36:35,359
Allow me to introduce myself.
530
00:36:35,393 --> 00:36:37,194
I am Cato.
531
00:36:37,228 --> 00:36:40,598
I thought you said
your name was Sumo
532
00:36:40,631 --> 00:36:43,034
and that Cato was
in south America.
533
00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:45,102
Only where Professor Balls
is concerned.
534
00:36:45,136 --> 00:36:47,205
Inspector Clouseau disappeared
535
00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:49,540
owing the professor
4,000 francs.
536
00:36:49,574 --> 00:36:52,243
And he keeps threatening
to close down the museum
537
00:36:52,276 --> 00:36:54,211
and take back all his disguises.
538
00:36:54,245 --> 00:36:56,547
I'd give him
something on account,
539
00:36:56,581 --> 00:36:58,382
but I only make enough
to pay the utilities
540
00:36:58,416 --> 00:37:00,251
and keep myself Yin-Gow San.
541
00:37:00,284 --> 00:37:01,619
I don't believe I know the dish.
542
00:37:01,652 --> 00:37:03,387
It's my girlfriend.
543
00:37:03,421 --> 00:37:05,056
Ah.
544
00:37:05,089 --> 00:37:06,557
I'm sorry I attacked you.
545
00:37:06,591 --> 00:37:09,427
Oh. You thought I was from
the collection agency.
546
00:37:09,460 --> 00:37:12,229
No. I know who you are.
547
00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:14,298
I was hoping I could
beat you up so badly
548
00:37:14,332 --> 00:37:17,268
you might give up trying to
find inspector Clouseau.
549
00:37:17,301 --> 00:37:18,936
Oh?
550
00:37:18,970 --> 00:37:20,738
Why don't you want
me to find him?
551
00:37:20,771 --> 00:37:23,307
Because he used to
beat me up so badly
552
00:37:23,341 --> 00:37:26,143
I kept wishing
he would disappear.
553
00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:28,579
There's an old Chinese saying…
554
00:37:28,613 --> 00:37:33,150
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
555
00:37:33,184 --> 00:37:34,652
Ahh. Ha ha!
556
00:37:34,685 --> 00:37:37,088
You speak Chinese?
557
00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:39,290
Uh… no.
558
00:37:39,323 --> 00:37:42,493
Well, the nearest english
equivalent would be…
559
00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:46,330
"Never look a gift horse
in the mouth."
560
00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:47,632
Would you like some tea?
561
00:37:47,665 --> 00:37:49,500
No. I've got
to crack this case,
562
00:37:49,533 --> 00:37:51,936
and I'm on a tight schedule.
563
00:37:51,969 --> 00:37:54,171
Tell me about
this Professor Balls.
564
00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:56,607
He used to make all of
the inspector's disguises.
565
00:37:56,641 --> 00:37:59,276
As a matter of fact,
566
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:03,347
he was the last one to see
the inspector alive.
567
00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:06,350
You don't say.
568
00:38:07,652 --> 00:38:10,488
[CLOCK CHIMES]
569
00:38:18,496 --> 00:38:20,298
That's him.
570
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,333
[JINGLING]
571
00:38:23,401 --> 00:38:26,504
[OPERA PLAYING]
572
00:38:52,396 --> 00:38:54,198
Can I help you?
573
00:38:54,231 --> 00:38:57,702
Yes. I'd like to see
Professor Balls.
574
00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:08,045
[INHALES]
575
00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:10,181
[BLOWS]
576
00:39:10,214 --> 00:39:12,350
[COUGHING]
577
00:39:12,383 --> 00:39:17,254
There is someone here
to see the professor.
578
00:39:28,099 --> 00:39:29,233
[MUSIC STOPS]
579
00:39:36,574 --> 00:39:38,375
[BLOWS]
580
00:39:38,409 --> 00:39:40,644
[BRRAAAPP]
581
00:39:45,416 --> 00:39:47,418
Professor Balls?
582
00:39:48,319 --> 00:39:50,454
Do we know each other?
583
00:39:50,488 --> 00:39:52,623
I'm…
584
00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,395
I'm a police officer.
585
00:39:58,429 --> 00:40:03,134
I was in Zagreb visiting my
half-brother at the monastery.
586
00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:07,605
I only want to ask you
a few questions.
587
00:40:07,638 --> 00:40:09,907
Nevertheless, I have
a perfect alibi.
588
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:12,076
For what?
589
00:40:12,109 --> 00:40:13,577
For practically anything.
590
00:40:13,611 --> 00:40:16,480
I am a law-abiding citizen.
Right, Cunny?
591
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,315
My little friend here
will back me up.
592
00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:20,251
Right, Cunny?
All right, that's enough.
593
00:40:20,284 --> 00:40:22,653
Down! Pssht!
594
00:40:22,686 --> 00:40:25,289
He's been with me for 20 years.
595
00:40:25,322 --> 00:40:27,625
Sometimes he thinks
I'm his girlfriend.
596
00:40:27,658 --> 00:40:30,761
He is also the best fitter
in Paris, Monsieur.
597
00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:32,763
In all of France,
for that matter.
598
00:40:32,797 --> 00:40:34,598
He can whip you up
a very Nice suit
599
00:40:34,632 --> 00:40:36,767
with 2 pair of pants
while you wait.
600
00:40:36,801 --> 00:40:39,270
No, you see, I'm investigating…
601
00:40:39,303 --> 00:40:40,771
Of course you are investigating!
602
00:40:40,805 --> 00:40:42,940
You are a policeman!
603
00:40:42,973 --> 00:40:45,276
I knew that the moment
you walked in to my emporium.
604
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:47,444
Your courage, your alertness,
605
00:40:47,478 --> 00:40:49,146
the way your eyes
take in everything.
606
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,514
I immediately said to myself,
607
00:40:50,548 --> 00:40:54,285
"Balls, this is
a policeman's policeman."
608
00:40:54,318 --> 00:40:55,352
Thirty-two.
609
00:40:55,386 --> 00:40:56,187
Thirty-two.
610
00:40:56,220 --> 00:40:58,122
Twenty-two.
611
00:40:58,155 --> 00:40:59,123
Twenty-two.
612
00:40:59,156 --> 00:41:01,125
[INCOHERENT SLURRING]
Six.
613
00:41:01,158 --> 00:41:02,126
Four.
614
00:41:02,159 --> 00:41:03,360
Four.
615
00:41:03,394 --> 00:41:04,528
Twelve.
616
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:07,298
Well, I have been servicing
the police all of my life.
617
00:41:07,331 --> 00:41:09,466
Some of my best customers
have been the police.
618
00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:11,635
Chief inspector Clouseau himself
619
00:41:11,669 --> 00:41:14,338
used to come into my shop
here 3 or 4 nights a week,
620
00:41:14,371 --> 00:41:16,807
just browsing,
finding an odd nose,
621
00:41:16,841 --> 00:41:18,809
a unique goiter, a carbuncle,
622
00:41:18,843 --> 00:41:20,477
perhaps something
in a Nice hump.
623
00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:23,214
Yes. I personally
designed und executed
624
00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:25,182
all his famous disguises.
625
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:29,320
Take for example, his last
and greatest disguise.
626
00:41:29,353 --> 00:41:32,690
He was due to pick it up
on the day he disappeared.
627
00:41:32,723 --> 00:41:35,359
It probably would have
saved his life.
628
00:41:35,392 --> 00:41:40,331
Behold!
The instant companion kit.
629
00:41:40,364 --> 00:41:42,333
How many times have you
been on a case
630
00:41:42,366 --> 00:41:43,868
and discovered that you were
being followed?
631
00:41:43,901 --> 00:41:47,838
How many times have you wished
that you had the one diversion
632
00:41:47,872 --> 00:41:51,208
that would confuse your pursuer,
allowing you time to escape?
633
00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:54,345
Well, here we have
the perfect diversion…
634
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:57,348
Life-size und
instantly inflatable.
635
00:41:57,381 --> 00:41:58,682
One twist of the valve
636
00:41:58,716 --> 00:42:01,352
and you are checking into
a hotel as man and wife.
637
00:42:01,385 --> 00:42:03,854
2 twists… ménage a trois, ja?
638
00:42:03,888 --> 00:42:07,524
As chief inspector Clouseau,
the king of disguises,
639
00:42:07,558 --> 00:42:09,693
said to me when
we tested the prototype,
640
00:42:09,727 --> 00:42:11,929
"Balls, as disguises go,
641
00:42:11,962 --> 00:42:15,566
the instant companion kit
is without peers."
642
00:42:15,599 --> 00:42:19,537
I can let you have it
for 6,000 francs.
643
00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:21,238
6,000?
644
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,707
4. Get ze doggie.
645
00:42:23,741 --> 00:42:25,609
And to round out the ensemble,
646
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:27,711
I'll throw in
the instant companion pet
647
00:42:27,745 --> 00:42:29,713
for all seasons.
648
00:42:29,747 --> 00:42:31,582
Observe.
[BLOWING]
649
00:42:31,615 --> 00:42:33,584
There are little wheels
concealed in his paws.
650
00:42:33,617 --> 00:42:36,587
Every 30 feet
he barks and goes caca.
651
00:42:38,589 --> 00:42:39,890
4,000?
652
00:42:39,924 --> 00:42:42,726
All right. 3,000,
including the leash
653
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,062
and 2 extra cans of caca.
654
00:42:45,095 --> 00:42:48,232
How about 1,500
for the entire ensemble
655
00:42:48,265 --> 00:42:49,900
and all the caca?
656
00:42:49,934 --> 00:42:51,735
I've got to get this stuff
off my hands.
657
00:42:51,769 --> 00:42:54,438
[WHEELS RATTLING]
658
00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:17,094
That makes 3 attempts
on my life in 2 days.
659
00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:21,332
I am lucky.
I've only had one.
660
00:43:21,365 --> 00:43:23,300
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
661
00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:24,835
That makes us even.
662
00:43:24,868 --> 00:43:27,104
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
663
00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:29,773
I guess I was just too gung ho.
664
00:43:29,807 --> 00:43:31,475
Gung who?
665
00:43:31,508 --> 00:43:33,444
It's an American expression.
666
00:43:33,477 --> 00:43:36,780
It means…
All fired up.
667
00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:39,116
Full of spirit
and determination.
668
00:43:39,149 --> 00:43:41,685
Do you know what this
opportunity means to me?
669
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,288
I'm a third-generation
police officer.
670
00:43:44,321 --> 00:43:47,358
My grandfather and
my father were captains.
671
00:43:47,391 --> 00:43:50,027
Your family must be
very proud of you.
672
00:43:50,060 --> 00:43:52,629
They still can't believe it.
673
00:43:52,663 --> 00:43:53,797
Neither can I.
674
00:43:53,831 --> 00:43:56,467
Me, out of all those millions.
675
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:59,837
My grandfather tells everyone
it's a practical joke.
676
00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:01,672
[GIGGLES]
I'm sorry.
677
00:44:01,705 --> 00:44:04,808
Oh, don't be.
This is my chance.
678
00:44:04,842 --> 00:44:07,344
If I succeed, then I've
proved once and for all
679
00:44:07,378 --> 00:44:09,546
that I'm a credit to the force,
680
00:44:09,580 --> 00:44:11,482
that I'm a Sleigh.
681
00:44:11,515 --> 00:44:12,649
Well, credit to the force,
682
00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:13,984
where do you go from here?
683
00:44:14,018 --> 00:44:16,487
Well, since inspector
Clouseau disappeared
684
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,555
while investigating the
theft of The Pink Panther,
685
00:44:18,589 --> 00:44:20,991
I thought I'd visit
the scene of the crime.
686
00:44:21,025 --> 00:44:22,826
Then you're off to Lugash.
687
00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:24,528
I leave on the next plane.
688
00:44:24,561 --> 00:44:27,364
You'll leave? Good.
I mean, good luck.
689
00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:29,566
Thank you.
690
00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:33,737
[CHUCKLES]
You know…
691
00:44:33,771 --> 00:44:36,840
I just want to tell you
how grateful I am…
692
00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:38,742
Aah!
693
00:44:40,411 --> 00:44:41,512
Aah!
694
00:44:41,545 --> 00:44:43,881
[SINGING PRAYERS]
695
00:44:49,887 --> 00:44:52,689
[DOG BARKING]
696
00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:55,025
What time does he arrive?
697
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:58,929
The 1:30 plane
from Paris.
698
00:44:58,962 --> 00:45:02,199
You realize what happens if
he finds that cursed diamond?
699
00:45:02,232 --> 00:45:05,702
We'll have to return the money
to the insurance company.
700
00:45:05,736 --> 00:45:07,404
I've already spent it.
701
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,073
What's the alternative?
702
00:45:09,106 --> 00:45:11,742
Make sure he doesn't
find the diamond.
703
00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:23,720
Hmm.
704
00:45:23,754 --> 00:45:26,623
Well, obviously,
the first thing to do
705
00:45:26,657 --> 00:45:28,826
is to figure out
how the thief got in.
706
00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:34,598
Aah!
707
00:45:34,631 --> 00:45:36,066
[THUD]
708
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:39,069
I don't think we've got
a thing to worry about.
709
00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:42,072
That's what we thought
about Clouseau.
710
00:45:42,106 --> 00:45:45,075
He suspects sir Charles Litton,
the notorious Phantom.
711
00:45:45,109 --> 00:45:48,912
He's booked the evening flight
for the south of France.
712
00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:50,814
Oh, the south of France.
713
00:45:50,848 --> 00:45:53,984
Should be beautiful
this time of year.
714
00:45:54,017 --> 00:45:57,654
Unless you happen to fall
off the grand corniche.
715
00:46:07,965 --> 00:46:11,769
[PEOPLE TALKING]
716
00:46:11,802 --> 00:46:15,172
WOMAN: I just had word that he's
arrived in the south of France.
717
00:46:15,205 --> 00:46:16,807
When he left Nice airport,
718
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:21,612
he was followed by two members
of the Lugash secret police.
719
00:46:21,645 --> 00:46:23,280
It appears that President Halish
720
00:46:23,313 --> 00:46:26,617
would rather have the insurance
money than the diamond.
721
00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:29,186
When you take into account
722
00:46:29,219 --> 00:46:32,623
that the mob has already
tried to kill him three times
723
00:46:32,656 --> 00:46:35,692
to stop him from finding
inspector Clouseau.
724
00:46:35,726 --> 00:46:37,995
MAN: Chief inspector…
[CHUCKLING]
725
00:46:38,028 --> 00:46:40,631
I don't think that we got
anything to worry about.
726
00:46:40,664 --> 00:46:43,867
Still… all things considered,
727
00:46:43,901 --> 00:46:46,036
I'm glad you had the surgery.
728
00:46:46,069 --> 00:46:48,972
Even though you're
temporarily incapacitated,
729
00:46:49,006 --> 00:46:50,307
in the long run,
730
00:46:50,340 --> 00:46:54,077
I'm sure it will be
more than worth the time.
731
00:47:09,193 --> 00:47:12,229
[SPEAKING FRENCH BADLY]
732
00:47:12,262 --> 00:47:14,064
Sure, pal.
733
00:47:55,072 --> 00:47:56,707
Tell him he's here.
734
00:47:56,740 --> 00:47:57,708
He's here.
735
00:47:57,741 --> 00:47:59,042
Ah, sergeant Sleigh.
736
00:47:59,076 --> 00:48:00,210
Yes, sir.
737
00:48:00,244 --> 00:48:01,211
Let me introduce you
738
00:48:01,245 --> 00:48:02,546
to my nephew, George.
739
00:48:02,579 --> 00:48:03,614
George.
How do you do?
740
00:48:03,647 --> 00:48:04,881
Hugo, Chair.
741
00:48:04,915 --> 00:48:06,216
Mr. Chair.
742
00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:07,284
And, uh, my wife.
743
00:48:07,317 --> 00:48:10,087
Hello, how do you do?
744
00:48:12,756 --> 00:48:14,057
Hello.
745
00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:17,594
So, uh, you're investigating
the Clouseau case.
746
00:48:17,628 --> 00:48:19,596
Yes.
[SQUEAKING]
747
00:48:20,931 --> 00:48:22,399
Oh, thank you.
748
00:48:22,432 --> 00:48:23,600
[SQUEAK]
749
00:48:23,634 --> 00:48:24,768
Oh, thank you.
750
00:48:24,801 --> 00:48:26,637
You wouldn't by any
chance be related?
751
00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:29,139
To inspector Clouseau?
No.
752
00:48:29,172 --> 00:48:30,941
But, uh…
753
00:48:32,109 --> 00:48:33,110
[SQUEAK]
754
00:48:33,143 --> 00:48:35,245
But it's funny
you should ask me that.
755
00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:37,981
The President of Lugash
asked me the same thing.
756
00:48:38,015 --> 00:48:39,082
[SQUEAK]
Really?
757
00:48:39,116 --> 00:48:41,752
What about a drink, sergeant?
758
00:48:41,785 --> 00:48:44,254
Oh, no, thank you.
759
00:48:44,288 --> 00:48:45,289
[SQUEAK]
760
00:48:45,322 --> 00:48:47,090
Darling, the sergeant's on duty.
761
00:48:47,124 --> 00:48:48,125
Well, it's not that.
762
00:48:48,158 --> 00:48:50,928
Then what about
a Nice cup of tea?
763
00:48:50,961 --> 00:48:53,263
Actually, it's a lot better
for you than coffee.
764
00:48:53,297 --> 00:48:55,432
It's got about half the
amount of caffeine in it.
765
00:48:55,465 --> 00:48:57,000
I'm sure that's true,
766
00:48:57,034 --> 00:48:59,770
but I'd simply die without
my morning cup of coffee.
767
00:48:59,803 --> 00:49:02,105
Anyway, um, what were
you saying, sergeant?
768
00:49:02,139 --> 00:49:06,943
I, uh…
I, uh…
769
00:49:06,977 --> 00:49:09,780
You were saying about the
investigation of inspector Clouseau.
770
00:49:09,813 --> 00:49:10,847
Ah, yes.
771
00:49:10,881 --> 00:49:12,816
I, uh… whoa!
772
00:49:17,154 --> 00:49:19,356
Allow me, sir.
773
00:49:19,389 --> 00:49:21,291
[SQUEAK]
774
00:49:21,325 --> 00:49:24,027
[DEFLATING]
775
00:49:32,669 --> 00:49:35,739
[SQUEAKING]
776
00:49:38,408 --> 00:49:41,712
You wanted to know
if Clouseau questioned me
777
00:49:41,745 --> 00:49:43,313
about the theft
of The Pink Panther.
778
00:49:43,347 --> 00:49:45,148
Yes.
Yes.
779
00:49:45,182 --> 00:49:46,216
Yes?
Yes.
780
00:49:46,249 --> 00:49:48,352
He questioned me.
He did?
781
00:49:48,385 --> 00:49:49,986
Oh, yes.
782
00:49:50,020 --> 00:49:51,988
He questioned me
3 days after the robbery
783
00:49:52,022 --> 00:49:54,324
on the third of August,
to be precise.
784
00:49:54,358 --> 00:49:55,325
At 1:15.
785
00:49:55,359 --> 00:49:57,160
He stayed for lunch.
786
00:49:57,194 --> 00:49:58,328
And fell in the pool.
787
00:49:58,362 --> 00:50:00,163
But why in the world
would he think
788
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,232
that you would know anything about
the theft of The Pink Panther?
789
00:50:02,265 --> 00:50:03,900
Oh, come on, George.
790
00:50:03,934 --> 00:50:07,003
I mean, I'm sure the sergeant
is totally up to date
791
00:50:07,037 --> 00:50:09,172
on my somewhat checkered career.
792
00:50:09,206 --> 00:50:10,207
Right, sergeant?
793
00:50:10,240 --> 00:50:12,743
Ah, ha ha ha ha.
794
00:50:12,776 --> 00:50:15,679
I mean, after all,
a man, after almost 30 years,
795
00:50:15,712 --> 00:50:19,049
has been thought to be
the notorious Phantom,
796
00:50:19,082 --> 00:50:21,351
the cleverest Jewel thief
in all of Europe.
797
00:50:21,385 --> 00:50:23,253
But, uncle Charles,
it was never proven
798
00:50:23,286 --> 00:50:25,856
that you were The Phantom.
799
00:50:25,889 --> 00:50:28,358
No. Nor that you took over
where I left off.
800
00:50:28,392 --> 00:50:31,528
But, George, you can understand
why he was suspicious
801
00:50:31,561 --> 00:50:33,196
and why he wanted
to question me.
802
00:50:33,230 --> 00:50:35,198
Oh, sure.
803
00:50:35,232 --> 00:50:38,235
And then when he was satisfied
that I was completely innocent
804
00:50:38,268 --> 00:50:41,271
and couldn't possibly have had
anything to do with it…
805
00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:43,407
Because we were
in Barbados with George
806
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:44,875
at the time of the robbery.
807
00:50:44,908 --> 00:50:47,878
Then, inspector Clouseau
took off for Valencia.
808
00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,046
Valencia. Ah. Ha.
809
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:54,718
Well, that leaves me
with just one question.
810
00:50:54,751 --> 00:50:56,119
[CRACK]
811
00:51:02,426 --> 00:51:04,394
You said Valencia.
812
00:51:04,428 --> 00:51:06,096
It's in Spain.
813
00:51:06,129 --> 00:51:08,398
Ah! That Valencia.
814
00:51:08,432 --> 00:51:10,133
[CHUCKLES]
815
00:51:10,167 --> 00:51:11,968
Thank you very much.
816
00:51:13,103 --> 00:51:14,438
Good-bye.
817
00:51:14,471 --> 00:51:15,939
Good-bye.
818
00:51:15,972 --> 00:51:17,073
Sir Charles.
819
00:51:17,107 --> 00:51:18,942
Lady Litton. Uhh!
820
00:51:24,347 --> 00:51:26,483
He fell in the pool.
821
00:51:26,516 --> 00:51:27,784
You're kidding.
822
00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:36,293
[TICKING]
823
00:51:38,028 --> 00:51:41,264
You sure you don't want
a bathrobe or something?
824
00:51:41,298 --> 00:51:43,266
Oh, no. I've been
enough trouble.
825
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:46,169
It's a warm day. I can dry
off on my way to Spain.
826
00:51:46,203 --> 00:51:48,305
Well, good-bye, sergeant.
827
00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,273
Good-bye.
828
00:51:50,307 --> 00:51:51,174
Bye-bye, sergeant.
829
00:51:51,208 --> 00:51:52,275
Bye-bye.
830
00:51:52,309 --> 00:51:53,877
[RIP]
831
00:52:02,486 --> 00:52:04,354
What do you think
he'll find in Valencia?
832
00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:08,325
Not very much, unless he
gets his glasses fixed.
833
00:52:17,534 --> 00:52:19,469
Take me to the nearest hotel.
834
00:52:19,503 --> 00:52:21,037
[FRENCH]
835
00:52:21,071 --> 00:52:23,039
I thought you spoke english.
836
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:34,317
Prendre moi a I'hotel.
837
00:52:34,351 --> 00:52:36,219
Check.
838
00:52:37,354 --> 00:52:39,189
[TICKING]
839
00:52:45,095 --> 00:52:46,530
Don't get too close.
840
00:52:53,036 --> 00:52:54,371
That's it.
841
00:52:56,540 --> 00:52:58,875
[TIRES SCREECHING]
842
00:53:12,389 --> 00:53:14,090
[GUNSHOT]
Wholy…
843
00:53:16,226 --> 00:53:17,460
Whoa!
844
00:53:19,129 --> 00:53:20,363
Ole! Ole!
845
00:53:20,397 --> 00:53:22,532
I'm oleing as fast
as I can, man.
846
00:53:22,566 --> 00:53:24,434
You said you didn't
speak any english!
847
00:53:24,467 --> 00:53:27,203
Don't you know that French cab
drivers are notoriusly unreliable?
848
00:53:27,237 --> 00:53:29,039
You sound like
an American to me.
849
00:53:29,072 --> 00:53:30,307
[GUNSHOT]
850
00:53:32,309 --> 00:53:34,211
Whoa!
851
00:53:34,244 --> 00:53:35,278
Damn!
852
00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:36,546
Who the hell's
trying to kill you?!
853
00:53:36,580 --> 00:53:37,714
I don't know!
854
00:53:37,747 --> 00:53:39,082
Whoa!
855
00:53:41,318 --> 00:53:43,920
[HORN HONKS]
856
00:53:45,322 --> 00:53:47,390
Maybe they're trying to kill me!
857
00:53:47,424 --> 00:53:49,225
Who do I know that
wants to kill me?
858
00:53:49,259 --> 00:53:51,227
No, no. It couldn't be my wife.
She doesn't drive.
859
00:53:51,261 --> 00:53:53,296
Whoever it is, you got
to try and lose them!
860
00:53:53,330 --> 00:53:54,564
When somebody's shooting at you,
861
00:53:54,598 --> 00:53:56,232
you got to do better than try.
862
00:53:56,266 --> 00:53:57,434
Whoa! Whoa!
863
00:54:11,181 --> 00:54:13,149
Whoa!
864
00:54:15,652 --> 00:54:18,188
Ahh!
865
00:54:25,195 --> 00:54:27,297
[TICKING]
866
00:54:34,137 --> 00:54:35,939
Aah!
867
00:54:35,972 --> 00:54:37,173
[HORN HONKS]
868
00:54:39,342 --> 00:54:41,144
[HORN HONKS]
869
00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:50,320
[HORNS HONKING]
870
00:55:13,343 --> 00:55:15,011
Whoa!
871
00:55:29,759 --> 00:55:32,195
[SCREAMING]
872
00:55:34,397 --> 00:55:35,532
[HORNS HONKING]
873
00:55:35,565 --> 00:55:37,534
[TICKING]
874
00:55:40,737 --> 00:55:43,573
Wah!
875
00:55:55,418 --> 00:55:58,054
[HORNS HONKING]
876
00:55:59,556 --> 00:56:01,191
Come on!
Come on!
877
00:56:01,224 --> 00:56:04,427
Yah!
878
00:56:05,895 --> 00:56:08,398
Yah!
879
00:56:11,134 --> 00:56:13,103
[GUNFIRE]
Ah!
880
00:56:22,579 --> 00:56:26,416
[1812 OVERTURE
PLAYING]
881
00:56:30,420 --> 00:56:32,756
[EXPLOSION]
882
00:57:20,904 --> 00:57:21,437
Oui, Monsieur.
883
00:57:21,471 --> 00:57:22,438
Aah!
884
00:57:22,472 --> 00:57:25,642
Yes, uh…
885
00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:26,943
Something to eat?
886
00:57:26,976 --> 00:57:28,278
[FALSETTO]
No.
887
00:57:28,311 --> 00:57:30,113
[NORMAL VOICE]
Uh…
888
00:57:30,146 --> 00:57:31,314
[FALSETTO]
Beer, please.
889
00:57:31,347 --> 00:57:33,516
[NORMAL VOICE] 2 beers,
s'il vous plait.
890
00:57:48,097 --> 00:57:50,099
Lovely here, isn't it?
891
00:57:53,903 --> 00:57:56,539
[COUGHING]
892
00:58:02,612 --> 00:58:04,581
[PUMPING AIR]
893
00:58:11,921 --> 00:58:13,089
Uhh!
894
00:58:21,965 --> 00:58:23,600
[FALSETTO]
Merci.
895
00:58:23,633 --> 00:58:26,436
[DEEP VOICE]
Merci.
896
00:58:38,481 --> 00:58:40,984
[HISSING]
897
00:58:52,128 --> 00:58:54,597
[COUGHING]
898
00:58:54,631 --> 00:58:56,466
It's a filthy habit.
899
00:59:05,475 --> 00:59:08,144
[COUGHING]
900
00:59:12,682 --> 00:59:14,517
[HISSING]
901
00:59:16,486 --> 00:59:18,988
[DEFLATING,
SQUEALING]
902
00:59:38,174 --> 00:59:39,509
[DEFLATING STOPS]
903
00:59:43,846 --> 00:59:46,049
[BLOWING]
904
00:59:57,060 --> 00:59:58,861
[SQUEAK]
905
01:00:05,535 --> 01:00:07,337
Aah.
906
01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:09,038
[SIGHS]
907
01:00:09,072 --> 01:00:11,174
Another?
908
01:00:11,207 --> 01:00:13,710
[FALSETTO]
No, let's go.
909
01:00:19,048 --> 01:00:20,883
[NORMAL VOICE]
Merci.
910
01:00:20,917 --> 01:00:23,219
Let's go, Shirley.
Come on.
911
01:00:23,252 --> 01:00:25,021
[FALSETTO]
No, I can't.
912
01:00:25,054 --> 01:00:27,056
[NORMAL VOICE]
Come on. Let's go.
913
01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:28,758
[CHUCKLES]
914
01:00:31,928 --> 01:00:33,196
[KISSES]
915
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:34,564
Say good-bye.
916
01:00:34,597 --> 01:00:36,699
[FALSETTO]
Bye-bye.
917
01:00:36,733 --> 01:00:38,601
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh.
918
01:00:42,238 --> 01:00:45,742
What? Do you want to
get a room here? You do?
919
01:01:07,397 --> 01:01:09,198
[DING]
920
01:01:09,232 --> 01:01:10,366
Bonjour.
921
01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:11,367
Bonjour.
922
01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:12,869
Avez-vous…
923
01:01:12,902 --> 01:01:14,370
I speak english.
924
01:01:14,404 --> 01:01:15,671
Good.
Do you have a room?
925
01:01:15,705 --> 01:01:18,007
For how many persons?
926
01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:19,876
Oh, just me
and the little woman.
927
01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:21,177
[KISSES]
928
01:01:21,210 --> 01:01:23,513
Uh, how long are you
planning to stay?
929
01:01:23,546 --> 01:01:25,848
Just, uh…
One night.
930
01:01:25,882 --> 01:01:29,018
Uh, 200 francs.
931
01:01:29,052 --> 01:01:32,188
Checkout time
is 10 A.M.
932
01:01:32,221 --> 01:01:34,223
[DING]
933
01:01:35,058 --> 01:01:38,528
I told you not
to mix your drinks.
934
01:01:38,561 --> 01:01:40,530
The bridal suite.
935
01:01:40,563 --> 01:01:43,700
Do we have a bridal suite?
936
01:01:43,733 --> 01:01:45,268
We have now.
937
01:01:48,571 --> 01:01:50,039
[FALSETTO]
Merci.
938
01:01:50,073 --> 01:01:52,241
Have a pleasant stay…
939
01:01:52,275 --> 01:01:54,377
Mr. Smith.
940
01:01:54,410 --> 01:01:55,745
Thank you.
941
01:01:56,913 --> 01:01:59,482
[DEFLATING]
942
01:02:03,486 --> 01:02:04,954
[SQUEALING]
943
01:02:23,439 --> 01:02:25,942
[BLOWING]
944
01:02:40,623 --> 01:02:41,758
Ooh!
945
01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:44,260
Shh! Honey.
[CHUCKLING]
946
01:02:44,293 --> 01:02:45,795
I'm sorry.
947
01:02:57,206 --> 01:02:59,976
[DEFLATING,
SQUEALING]
948
01:03:05,982 --> 01:03:08,818
[BLOWING]
949
01:03:24,901 --> 01:03:27,069
[GAS BLOWING]
950
01:03:33,676 --> 01:03:34,844
Man on phone:
Oui?
951
01:03:34,877 --> 01:03:37,513
Yes, this is, uh,
Monsieur Smith.
952
01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:38,714
Oui?
953
01:03:38,748 --> 01:03:41,651
I would like to make a call to Paris… St.
Mary's Hospital.
954
01:03:41,684 --> 01:03:42,818
Paris?
Yes.
955
01:03:42,852 --> 01:03:44,153
St. Mary's Hospital.
956
01:03:44,187 --> 01:03:45,988
To chief inspector Dreyfus.
957
01:03:46,022 --> 01:03:47,523
Chief inspector Dreyfus.
958
01:03:47,557 --> 01:03:48,891
Yes. It's important.
959
01:03:48,925 --> 01:03:50,660
Oui, Monsieur Smith.
960
01:03:50,693 --> 01:03:53,029
Hurry.
Right away.
961
01:03:53,062 --> 01:03:54,497
Excuse me.
962
01:03:54,530 --> 01:03:59,569
I am interested in…
Monsieur Smith.
963
01:03:59,602 --> 01:04:01,537
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
964
01:04:01,571 --> 01:04:02,672
[SIGHS]
965
01:04:02,705 --> 01:04:03,873
Yes?
966
01:04:03,906 --> 01:04:05,841
Hello, this is sergeant Sleigh.
967
01:04:05,875 --> 01:04:07,009
Oh, yes.
968
01:04:07,043 --> 01:04:09,178
Where the devil are you?
969
01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:11,581
I… I don't know the
name of the hotel,
970
01:04:11,614 --> 01:04:13,583
but somebody's following me.
971
01:04:13,616 --> 01:04:16,786
They tried to shoot me
on the way to Nice.
972
01:04:17,887 --> 01:04:19,021
Oh, my god.
973
01:04:19,055 --> 01:04:21,224
Hold on.
I'll be right with you.
974
01:04:25,895 --> 01:04:28,598
[GAS ESCAPING,
SQUEALING]
975
01:04:40,576 --> 01:04:43,713
Hold on a sec. I got
to put the cork in.
976
01:04:43,746 --> 01:04:45,715
DREYFUS: What, cork?
977
01:04:45,748 --> 01:04:47,917
What do you mean?
Hello?
978
01:04:47,950 --> 01:04:50,253
Hello, are you there?
979
01:04:50,286 --> 01:04:52,054
Hello?
980
01:04:52,088 --> 01:04:54,223
Hello? Hello?
981
01:04:54,257 --> 01:04:56,225
Hello?
982
01:04:56,259 --> 01:04:59,895
Why don't you
answer me? Hello!
983
01:04:59,929 --> 01:05:02,932
I'm sorry, but things are
getting a little out of hand.
984
01:05:02,965 --> 01:05:04,300
Now, where were we?
985
01:05:04,333 --> 01:05:07,069
Ah, yes, the location
of the hotel.
986
01:05:07,103 --> 01:05:09,405
Well, it's in the south…
987
01:05:09,438 --> 01:05:11,140
[COUGHING]
South of France.
988
01:05:11,173 --> 01:05:14,744
It's on a, uh, a small street.
989
01:05:14,777 --> 01:05:16,279
[COUGHING]
990
01:05:18,314 --> 01:05:21,751
Uh, look, I don't know
what the point of this is,
991
01:05:21,784 --> 01:05:23,753
because even
if I knew where I was,
992
01:05:23,786 --> 01:05:26,088
you're there, and I'm…
993
01:05:26,122 --> 01:05:28,124
I'm dizzy.
994
01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:30,326
Dizzy?
I'm really dizzy.
995
01:05:30,359 --> 01:05:31,694
Why are you dizzy?
996
01:05:33,629 --> 01:05:35,264
Must be the gas.
997
01:05:35,298 --> 01:05:36,766
Gas?
998
01:05:36,799 --> 01:05:39,135
Why don't you open the window?
999
01:05:39,168 --> 01:05:41,203
That's a good idea.
1000
01:05:47,810 --> 01:05:49,145
Ohh.
1001
01:05:49,178 --> 01:05:50,946
That's better.
1002
01:05:50,980 --> 01:05:52,148
[SILENCED GUNSHOT]
1003
01:05:52,181 --> 01:05:54,684
[SCREAMING]
1004
01:05:57,386 --> 01:05:58,654
Hello?
1005
01:05:58,688 --> 01:06:00,289
Hello?
1006
01:06:00,323 --> 01:06:01,791
Huh huh huh.
1007
01:06:01,824 --> 01:06:04,126
Are you there?
1008
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:07,963
SHOUTING: The explosion severely
traumatized your left eardrum,
1009
01:06:07,997 --> 01:06:11,167
but if you are careful,
and avoid all loud noises,
1010
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:14,370
partial hearing should be
restored in a few days.
1011
01:06:14,403 --> 01:06:16,138
What about the ringing?
1012
01:06:16,172 --> 01:06:18,474
I'm afraid that
might take longer.
1013
01:06:18,507 --> 01:06:19,675
It's very loud.
1014
01:06:19,709 --> 01:06:21,977
I keep wanting to answer
the telephone.
1015
01:06:22,011 --> 01:06:24,146
Just take the medicine
I've prescribed
1016
01:06:24,180 --> 01:06:25,715
and plenty of rest.
1017
01:06:25,748 --> 01:06:28,017
All right.
Thank you, doctor.
1018
01:06:29,251 --> 01:06:31,987
What if I can't distinguish
the difference
1019
01:06:32,021 --> 01:06:34,323
between the ringing
in my ear and the phone?
1020
01:06:34,357 --> 01:06:36,025
That could be a problem.
1021
01:06:36,058 --> 01:06:37,159
What?
1022
01:06:37,193 --> 01:06:39,395
It may not last much longer.
1023
01:06:39,428 --> 01:06:41,831
I couldn't stand it if it did.
1024
01:06:41,864 --> 01:06:43,833
Where is Sleigh?
1025
01:06:43,866 --> 01:06:45,668
On his way tovalencia.
1026
01:06:45,701 --> 01:06:47,169
Valencia?
1027
01:06:47,203 --> 01:06:48,871
A tip…
From sir Charles.
1028
01:06:48,904 --> 01:06:49,872
[PHONE RINGING]
1029
01:06:49,905 --> 01:06:51,674
There, it's getting worse!
1030
01:06:51,707 --> 01:06:52,742
Oh.
1031
01:06:52,775 --> 01:06:54,276
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
1032
01:07:04,887 --> 01:07:06,689
He just checked in.
1033
01:07:06,722 --> 01:07:09,191
Very convenient.
Right down the hall. 311.
1034
01:07:09,225 --> 01:07:10,426
Not in the hotel.
1035
01:07:10,459 --> 01:07:12,027
When he goes out tonight,
1036
01:07:12,061 --> 01:07:13,729
all those fireworks out there,
1037
01:07:13,763 --> 01:07:15,364
nobody's gonna notice
a little shooting.
1038
01:07:15,398 --> 01:07:16,866
We can't miss.
1039
01:07:16,899 --> 01:07:17,867
Yeah.
1040
01:07:17,900 --> 01:07:20,369
But just to make sure,
I've hired a backup…
1041
01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:22,071
Mr. Chong.
1042
01:07:22,104 --> 01:07:24,039
Who the hell is Mr. Chong?
1043
01:07:24,073 --> 01:07:25,775
He's a ninja.
1044
01:07:25,808 --> 01:07:28,944
The most powerful human
killing machine in the world.
1045
01:07:30,146 --> 01:07:32,748
Visualize energy…
1046
01:07:32,782 --> 01:07:35,251
As a gathering storm.
1047
01:07:36,252 --> 01:07:38,888
It flows to the hand.
1048
01:07:38,921 --> 01:07:43,793
The hand consigns it
to the primary object.
1049
01:07:43,826 --> 01:07:46,729
As the primary object
is destroyed,
1050
01:07:46,762 --> 01:07:50,933
it is consigned
to the secondary object,
1051
01:07:50,966 --> 01:07:52,902
and so on…
1052
01:07:52,935 --> 01:07:56,071
Like an atomic chain reaction.
1053
01:07:56,105 --> 01:07:58,441
I will demonstrate.
1054
01:08:06,949 --> 01:08:08,317
Yah!
1055
01:08:28,537 --> 01:08:31,974
[CARTOON MUSIC
PLAYING ON TV]
1056
01:08:34,143 --> 01:08:37,112
Road Runner:
Beep beep!
1057
01:08:37,146 --> 01:08:37,980
We have a problem.
1058
01:08:38,013 --> 01:08:40,850
Sergeant Sleigh has
arrived in Valencia.
1059
01:08:40,883 --> 01:08:42,218
Wah-ah!
1060
01:08:44,854 --> 01:08:47,823
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1061
01:08:53,562 --> 01:08:56,298
[PEOPLE SINGING]
1062
01:08:56,332 --> 01:08:57,800
Sí, sí.
1063
01:08:57,833 --> 01:09:00,135
I understand.
1064
01:09:00,169 --> 01:09:01,303
[BUZZ]
1065
01:09:01,337 --> 01:09:02,471
One moment.
1066
01:09:02,505 --> 01:09:03,372
¿Sí?
1067
01:09:03,405 --> 01:09:05,207
Sergeant Sleigh
wishes to speak with you.
1068
01:09:05,241 --> 01:09:06,976
He's here?
1069
01:09:07,009 --> 01:09:08,644
No. He's on
the other line.
1070
01:09:08,677 --> 01:09:10,846
Tell him I'll be right with him.
1071
01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:12,548
Listen, he's just called.
1072
01:09:12,581 --> 01:09:14,316
I've got him holding
on the other line.
1073
01:09:14,350 --> 01:09:15,351
Not a word.
1074
01:09:15,384 --> 01:09:17,319
Of course.
Not a word.
1075
01:09:17,353 --> 01:09:21,357
Hello.
Chief agila here.
1076
01:09:21,390 --> 01:09:23,025
What can I do for you, sergeant?
1077
01:09:23,058 --> 01:09:26,896
I'm investigating the disappearance
of inspector Clouseau.
1078
01:09:26,929 --> 01:09:28,330
What?
What?
1079
01:09:28,364 --> 01:09:29,999
Wait a minute. I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
1080
01:09:30,032 --> 01:09:31,400
I'm gonna close the window.
1081
01:09:31,433 --> 01:09:33,002
What?
1082
01:09:33,035 --> 01:09:35,204
I'm going to close the window.
1083
01:09:35,237 --> 01:09:36,505
What?
1084
01:09:36,539 --> 01:09:38,541
What are you talking about?
1085
01:09:50,553 --> 01:09:52,187
OK, I closed it.
1086
01:09:52,221 --> 01:09:54,890
Thank you for your cooperation.
I'll be right over.
1087
01:10:14,243 --> 01:10:15,578
Uhh!
1088
01:10:29,091 --> 01:10:31,594
[DOG PANTING]
1089
01:10:38,968 --> 01:10:40,102
Thank you.
1090
01:10:56,118 --> 01:10:57,953
[DING]
1091
01:11:09,465 --> 01:11:11,200
[DOG GRUNTING]
1092
01:11:13,135 --> 01:11:14,970
Will you hold him please?
1093
01:11:23,646 --> 01:11:25,447
[DOG FLATUSES]
1094
01:11:25,481 --> 01:11:28,350
You should be ashamed of
yourself, young man.
1095
01:11:29,818 --> 01:11:31,020
[DING]
1096
01:11:35,324 --> 01:11:36,992
Oh, ho.
1097
01:11:41,063 --> 01:11:42,665
There you go.
1098
01:11:52,508 --> 01:11:55,711
[MUSIC PLAYING,
PEOPLE SINGING]
1099
01:11:55,744 --> 01:11:57,646
Where's the police station?
1100
01:11:57,680 --> 01:11:59,315
Over there!
1101
01:11:59,348 --> 01:12:01,016
Thank you.
1102
01:12:05,354 --> 01:12:07,189
Don't lose him!
1103
01:13:21,630 --> 01:13:24,266
[GUNFIRE]
1104
01:13:31,940 --> 01:13:34,343
[FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING]
1105
01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:48,190
[BLOWING HORN]
1106
01:14:02,204 --> 01:14:03,472
Hi.
1107
01:14:03,505 --> 01:14:06,608
Hi. Hey, you're the girl
from the elevator.
1108
01:14:06,642 --> 01:14:07,776
Yeah.
Yeah.
1109
01:14:07,810 --> 01:14:09,278
What are you doing?
1110
01:14:09,311 --> 01:14:10,612
[POP]
Aah!
1111
01:14:10,646 --> 01:14:12,447
Nothin'.
1112
01:14:12,481 --> 01:14:14,116
Is anything the matter?
1113
01:14:14,149 --> 01:14:16,485
Uh, look, you're not
gonna believe this,
1114
01:14:16,518 --> 01:14:18,187
but some men are
trying to kill me.
1115
01:14:18,220 --> 01:14:20,455
You're right.
I am?
1116
01:14:20,489 --> 01:14:22,124
I'm not gonna believe you.
1117
01:14:22,157 --> 01:14:23,125
No, seriously.
1118
01:14:23,158 --> 01:14:24,860
They… they were just
shooting at me outside.
1119
01:14:24,893 --> 01:14:27,162
Look, are you alone?
Yes.
1120
01:14:27,196 --> 01:14:28,797
Have you got a table?
Yes.
1121
01:14:28,831 --> 01:14:31,133
Would you mind being
my instant companion?
1122
01:14:31,166 --> 01:14:33,202
Your instant what?
1123
01:14:33,235 --> 01:14:34,469
Look, normally
I wouldn't impose,
1124
01:14:34,503 --> 01:14:36,472
but my other one blew up.
1125
01:14:36,505 --> 01:14:38,640
Look, I'll explain everything
to you on the way.
1126
01:14:38,674 --> 01:14:41,143
Where's your table?
Come on.
1127
01:14:41,176 --> 01:14:43,712
[BLOWING HORN]
1128
01:14:55,357 --> 01:14:56,825
Do you see them?
1129
01:14:56,859 --> 01:14:57,893
No.
1130
01:14:57,926 --> 01:15:01,230
Well, if you see them, kiss me.
1131
01:15:01,263 --> 01:15:02,664
Kiss you?
1132
01:15:02,698 --> 01:15:04,499
Well, they're not
looking for a couple.
1133
01:15:04,533 --> 01:15:07,202
That's the instant
companion theory.
1134
01:15:07,236 --> 01:15:09,371
Do you know Professor Balls?
1135
01:15:09,404 --> 01:15:10,873
Who?
Professor…
1136
01:15:13,375 --> 01:15:14,843
Professor Balls.
1137
01:15:14,877 --> 01:15:16,845
Did you see 'em?
One of 'em.
1138
01:15:16,879 --> 01:15:18,714
Where?
Over by the door.
1139
01:15:22,618 --> 01:15:25,420
I don't see him now.
1140
01:15:25,454 --> 01:15:28,757
Strange. He's gone.
1141
01:15:32,794 --> 01:15:35,264
You sure you saw them?
1142
01:15:35,297 --> 01:15:36,531
Of course.
That's why I kissed you.
1143
01:15:36,565 --> 01:15:38,433
Of course.
1144
01:15:38,467 --> 01:15:40,269
Wait a minute.
1145
01:15:40,302 --> 01:15:42,037
You don't think
I pretended to see that guy
1146
01:15:42,070 --> 01:15:43,906
just so I could kiss you.
1147
01:15:43,939 --> 01:15:47,543
The thought did occur to me.
1148
01:15:47,576 --> 01:15:49,912
Well…
1149
01:15:49,945 --> 01:15:51,446
There he is again.
1150
01:15:57,452 --> 01:15:59,254
Did you see him?
1151
01:15:59,288 --> 01:16:01,256
He's gone.
1152
01:16:03,592 --> 01:16:05,794
I don't believe I can…
1153
01:16:05,827 --> 01:16:08,430
I saw him both times.
1154
01:16:09,932 --> 01:16:11,566
You don't believe me, do you?
1155
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:14,403
Does it matter?
1156
01:16:14,436 --> 01:16:15,571
Does it matter?
1157
01:16:15,604 --> 01:16:17,572
Well, whether you saw
the man or not,
1158
01:16:17,606 --> 01:16:20,242
I quite enjoyed it.
1159
01:16:20,275 --> 01:16:21,576
You did?
1160
01:16:21,610 --> 01:16:23,312
Didn't you?
1161
01:16:23,345 --> 01:16:26,581
Well, now that you
mention it, I guess I did.
1162
01:16:26,615 --> 01:16:28,584
Well?
1163
01:16:28,617 --> 01:16:32,421
I think I see him again.
1164
01:16:32,454 --> 01:16:33,989
Good.
1165
01:16:43,999 --> 01:16:47,269
See what I mean?
1166
01:16:47,302 --> 01:16:49,938
I certainly do.
1167
01:16:49,972 --> 01:16:53,308
I'm kissing you, and I
don't even know your name.
1168
01:16:53,342 --> 01:16:54,843
Don't worry about it,
sweetheart.
1169
01:16:54,876 --> 01:16:56,845
You're kissing a dead duck.
1170
01:16:56,878 --> 01:16:58,280
Ohh!
1171
01:16:58,313 --> 01:16:59,681
Aah!
1172
01:17:04,653 --> 01:17:05,821
Ohh!
[OBJECTS CLATTER]
1173
01:17:18,367 --> 01:17:19,501
Uhh!
1174
01:17:20,502 --> 01:17:22,471
Oh, my god.
1175
01:17:22,504 --> 01:17:23,705
Quick.
1176
01:17:23,739 --> 01:17:25,807
Up, up, up, up.
1177
01:17:25,841 --> 01:17:26,808
Ew!
[MUTTERING]
1178
01:17:26,842 --> 01:17:27,876
Whoop!
1179
01:17:41,723 --> 01:17:45,494
Look, uh, she doesn't have
anything to do with this.
1180
01:17:45,527 --> 01:17:46,895
That's a shame.
1181
01:17:46,928 --> 01:17:48,397
Excuse me.
1182
01:17:48,430 --> 01:17:49,831
Listen, I still
don't know your name.
1183
01:17:49,865 --> 01:17:51,400
Clifton.
1184
01:17:51,433 --> 01:17:54,770
Clifton. Catch me.
I'm gonna faint.
1185
01:17:55,871 --> 01:17:57,072
[GUNFIRE]
1186
01:18:05,414 --> 01:18:07,416
Ooh!
1187
01:18:12,554 --> 01:18:14,056
Ugh!
1188
01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:20,395
Ooh!
1189
01:18:35,477 --> 01:18:37,446
I'm coming!
1190
01:18:37,479 --> 01:18:38,980
I'm going!
1191
01:18:51,927 --> 01:18:53,428
Uh!
1192
01:19:02,671 --> 01:19:03,972
Ooh!
1193
01:19:08,610 --> 01:19:10,112
Ugh!
1194
01:19:11,113 --> 01:19:12,814
Hyah!
1195
01:19:12,848 --> 01:19:14,149
Don't worry about a thing
1196
01:19:14,182 --> 01:19:16,485
I got these guys
just where I want 'em.
1197
01:19:16,518 --> 01:19:17,619
Look out!
1198
01:19:19,488 --> 01:19:21,590
Uh!
Oh, no.
1199
01:19:21,623 --> 01:19:23,792
Oh, now I'm mad.
1200
01:19:27,496 --> 01:19:28,964
Now I'm hurt.
1201
01:19:36,638 --> 01:19:37,472
Ooh!
1202
01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,540
Oh!
1203
01:20:42,370 --> 01:20:45,707
Sweetheart, are you all right?
1204
01:20:46,708 --> 01:20:48,677
Come on, let's get outta here.
1205
01:20:48,710 --> 01:20:50,212
Clifton!
1206
01:20:55,717 --> 01:20:57,085
Oh, boy.
1207
01:20:59,054 --> 01:21:00,889
Ahhh!
1208
01:21:24,079 --> 01:21:26,281
[MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING]
1209
01:21:28,416 --> 01:21:30,085
[CRASH]
1210
01:21:37,626 --> 01:21:38,994
Ah! No!
1211
01:21:49,771 --> 01:21:53,108
[MUSIC PLAYING,
CHEERING]
1212
01:21:56,011 --> 01:21:58,113
[SINGING]
1213
01:22:03,184 --> 01:22:04,819
Wait. This way.
1214
01:22:04,853 --> 01:22:05,820
Why?
1215
01:22:05,854 --> 01:22:07,255
I have to see
the chief of police.
1216
01:22:07,289 --> 01:22:08,923
No.
Why not?
1217
01:22:08,957 --> 01:22:11,192
I can't explain.
Ohh!
1218
01:22:14,362 --> 01:22:16,531
Good-bye, Clifton.
1219
01:22:50,665 --> 01:22:52,567
[RING]
1220
01:22:55,503 --> 01:22:56,972
Hello.
1221
01:22:57,005 --> 01:22:58,206
He hasn't shown up yet.
1222
01:22:58,239 --> 01:23:00,308
He just went into the hotel.
1223
01:23:00,342 --> 01:23:02,544
I'll be there.
10 minutes.
1224
01:23:02,577 --> 01:23:03,912
Good.
1225
01:23:06,748 --> 01:23:10,518
[MUSIC PLAYING,
PEOPLE SINGING]
1226
01:23:32,707 --> 01:23:35,410
Yes, this is sergeant
Sleigh in room 311.
1227
01:23:35,443 --> 01:23:38,413
Can you tell me the name of
the young lady in room 310?
1228
01:23:38,446 --> 01:23:40,081
Woman on phone:
Un momento, por favor.
1229
01:23:40,115 --> 01:23:41,249
Juleta Shane.
1230
01:23:41,282 --> 01:23:43,118
Thank you very much.
1231
01:23:44,552 --> 01:23:46,688
Juleta.
1232
01:23:46,721 --> 01:23:48,757
I knocked on your door.
1233
01:23:48,790 --> 01:23:51,426
I told the bellboy
I was your sister.
1234
01:23:51,459 --> 01:23:53,428
I don't think he believed me.
1235
01:23:53,461 --> 01:23:55,430
Did I wake you?
1236
01:23:55,463 --> 01:23:56,931
No, why?
1237
01:23:56,965 --> 01:24:00,602
You're wearing my pajamas.
1238
01:24:00,635 --> 01:24:03,438
Only the tops.
1239
01:24:03,471 --> 01:24:06,107
Oh. [LAUGHS]
1240
01:24:06,141 --> 01:24:07,709
Does it bother you?
1241
01:24:07,742 --> 01:24:09,811
No.
1242
01:24:13,815 --> 01:24:15,216
I charged the champagne
to your room.
1243
01:24:15,250 --> 01:24:16,718
I hope you don't mind.
1244
01:24:16,751 --> 01:24:18,653
Oh, I don't mind at all.
1245
01:24:22,323 --> 01:24:23,725
[SIGHS]
1246
01:24:23,758 --> 01:24:26,294
Here's to the rest of the night
1247
01:24:26,327 --> 01:24:28,496
with an option on tomorrow.
1248
01:24:29,497 --> 01:24:30,765
[CLINK]
1249
01:24:35,503 --> 01:24:37,238
I, uh, can't stay.
1250
01:24:37,272 --> 01:24:40,141
You see, I had a very
important meeting
1251
01:24:40,175 --> 01:24:42,243
with the chief of police,
1252
01:24:42,277 --> 01:24:45,246
and I couldn't let you
just run off like that.
1253
01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:46,481
I… I had to find you.
1254
01:24:46,514 --> 01:24:48,817
But, um, now that
I have found you,
1255
01:24:48,850 --> 01:24:51,319
I… I have to keep that meeting.
1256
01:24:51,352 --> 01:24:53,688
I'm a…
1257
01:24:54,856 --> 01:24:57,826
I'm a police officer.
1258
01:24:57,859 --> 01:25:00,261
Police.
1259
01:25:00,295 --> 01:25:02,764
And, uh, I'm working on a case,
1260
01:25:02,797 --> 01:25:06,334
a very important case.
1261
01:25:06,367 --> 01:25:10,271
And, uh, I think I'm getting
close to the answer.
1262
01:25:10,305 --> 01:25:11,940
I… I think that's why
those men were…
1263
01:25:11,973 --> 01:25:14,275
Were trying to kill me tonight.
1264
01:25:14,309 --> 01:25:16,444
By the way, uh…
1265
01:25:16,478 --> 01:25:18,680
Where did you learn
to fight like that?
1266
01:25:18,713 --> 01:25:21,850
I was raised in
the east end of London
1267
01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:24,953
where you had
to learn how to fight,
1268
01:25:24,986 --> 01:25:27,288
if you wanted to keep
your integrity.
1269
01:25:27,322 --> 01:25:32,026
I'll, uh, I'll be back
as soon as I can.
1270
01:25:32,060 --> 01:25:33,361
I won't be here.
1271
01:25:33,394 --> 01:25:35,530
Why not?
1272
01:25:35,563 --> 01:25:36,698
Because I won't.
1273
01:25:36,731 --> 01:25:39,300
I'm touchy about
throwing myself at a man
1274
01:25:39,334 --> 01:25:41,703
and then being rejected.
1275
01:25:41,736 --> 01:25:43,204
But I'm not rejecting you.
1276
01:25:43,238 --> 01:25:44,973
Then stay.
I can't.
1277
01:25:45,006 --> 01:25:46,875
But I want you.
1278
01:25:46,908 --> 01:25:48,376
Oh, god.
1279
01:25:48,409 --> 01:25:49,711
Now.
1280
01:25:49,744 --> 01:25:51,546
[GULP] Couldn't you
just hold out
1281
01:25:51,579 --> 01:25:52,981
for maybe half an hour?
1282
01:25:53,014 --> 01:25:54,482
No.
1283
01:25:54,516 --> 01:25:55,984
25 minutes.
I'll… I'll run.
1284
01:25:56,017 --> 01:25:58,319
I can't wait. But you
don't understand.
1285
01:25:58,353 --> 01:25:59,721
This is my big chance.
1286
01:25:59,754 --> 01:26:01,556
Don't blow it.
1287
01:26:01,589 --> 01:26:03,725
No, I mean, to prove
once and for all
1288
01:26:03,758 --> 01:26:05,493
that I'm a good cop.
1289
01:26:05,527 --> 01:26:07,328
I want you to prove it, too.
1290
01:26:07,362 --> 01:26:10,331
I mean to my family,
1291
01:26:10,365 --> 01:26:13,735
to lieutenant palmyra
and the 28th precinct,
1292
01:26:13,768 --> 01:26:17,338
my goofy grandfather and
his rolled-up newspaper,
1293
01:26:17,372 --> 01:26:21,009
and my father with his medals
1294
01:26:21,042 --> 01:26:24,679
and his citation
from the governor
1295
01:26:24,712 --> 01:26:26,014
for bravery.
1296
01:26:26,047 --> 01:26:27,682
You don't understand.
1297
01:26:27,715 --> 01:26:31,019
Oh, my god, I sound
like Stan Laurel.
1298
01:26:31,052 --> 01:26:35,089
I… i… I've got to go.
1299
01:26:35,123 --> 01:26:39,294
I hope you're here
when I get back.
1300
01:26:47,068 --> 01:26:48,369
Clifton.
1301
01:26:48,403 --> 01:26:49,771
What?
1302
01:26:49,804 --> 01:26:54,576
Here's to being here
when you get back.
1303
01:27:00,415 --> 01:27:01,649
I'll drink to that.
1304
01:27:03,918 --> 01:27:05,320
[CLINK]
1305
01:27:06,087 --> 01:27:07,822
[GASPS]
1306
01:27:13,661 --> 01:27:15,997
What's wrong?
Juleta.
1307
01:27:17,932 --> 01:27:20,335
Oh, my god.
1308
01:27:22,670 --> 01:27:25,840
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1309
01:27:27,508 --> 01:27:29,644
Woman on phone:
¿sí, señor?
1310
01:27:29,677 --> 01:27:31,079
Get a doctor.
It's an emergency.
1311
01:27:31,112 --> 01:27:33,314
Room number, please.
Room 311.
1312
01:27:33,348 --> 01:27:34,782
And send the police.
1313
01:27:37,118 --> 01:27:39,487
[PEOPLE CHEERING,
FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1314
01:27:39,520 --> 01:27:42,857
[DIALOGUE INAUDIBLE]
1315
01:28:07,815 --> 01:28:09,117
Probably a powerful
tranquilizer.
1316
01:28:09,150 --> 01:28:12,854
She'll recover, but she'll
be unconscious for hours.
1317
01:28:12,887 --> 01:28:14,522
I recognize her.
1318
01:28:14,555 --> 01:28:16,624
She's the Countess Chandra's
personal secretary.
1319
01:28:16,658 --> 01:28:18,526
Her name's juleta Shane.
1320
01:28:18,559 --> 01:28:19,961
Her name is Julie Morgan.
1321
01:28:19,994 --> 01:28:21,696
She has been with
the Countess for 7 years.
1322
01:28:21,729 --> 01:28:23,364
Who's this Countess that…
1323
01:28:23,398 --> 01:28:24,966
I ask the questions,
señor Sleigh.
1324
01:28:24,999 --> 01:28:26,134
Sergeant Sleigh.
1325
01:28:26,167 --> 01:28:28,803
Is that "slay" as in "kill"?
1326
01:28:28,836 --> 01:28:31,139
No, it's Sleigh
as in "one-horse-open."
1327
01:28:31,172 --> 01:28:33,141
Why did you shoot her?
1328
01:28:33,174 --> 01:28:36,210
I didn't. I'm a New York
City police officer
1329
01:28:36,244 --> 01:28:37,979
working with the Suréte.
1330
01:28:38,012 --> 01:28:39,881
Yes, investigating
the Clouseau case. Yes.
1331
01:28:39,914 --> 01:28:41,482
Yes, they said
you would say this.
1332
01:28:41,516 --> 01:28:43,051
You have my identification.
1333
01:28:43,084 --> 01:28:44,552
Excellent forgeries.
1334
01:28:44,585 --> 01:28:46,054
Look, I can clear this
up with one phone call.
1335
01:28:46,087 --> 01:28:47,889
After you've answered
some questions.
1336
01:28:47,922 --> 01:28:49,157
I've told you everything.
1337
01:28:49,190 --> 01:28:51,592
Bring him along.
1338
01:28:56,531 --> 01:28:57,565
What kind of tranquilizer,
is it, huh?
1339
01:28:57,598 --> 01:28:59,500
I don't know.
1340
01:28:59,534 --> 01:29:01,102
Come on.
1341
01:29:11,212 --> 01:29:12,747
Get out of the way!
1342
01:29:12,780 --> 01:29:14,082
Hey, come on, move!
Move!
1343
01:29:14,115 --> 01:29:16,918
I'm a police officer.
I'm a police officer!
1344
01:29:16,951 --> 01:29:19,554
Hey, come on, move it, move it.
1345
01:29:29,564 --> 01:29:31,466
Hey, what are you doing?
1346
01:29:33,134 --> 01:29:34,102
Hey!
1347
01:29:34,135 --> 01:29:35,937
After him!
After him!
1348
01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:37,972
Move!
1349
01:30:13,174 --> 01:30:14,242
[TIRES SCREECH]
1350
01:30:14,275 --> 01:30:16,310
Fool, you've lost him!
1351
01:30:16,344 --> 01:30:17,945
This way!
1352
01:30:20,181 --> 01:30:21,582
[HONK HONK]
1353
01:30:21,616 --> 01:30:22,817
Good evening, sergeant.
1354
01:30:22,850 --> 01:30:24,986
Hello, Mr. Litton.
1355
01:30:25,019 --> 01:30:26,921
Can I give you a lift?
1356
01:30:26,954 --> 01:30:29,323
Uh, as a matter of fact, yes.
1357
01:30:29,357 --> 01:30:31,626
Hop in.
1358
01:30:48,042 --> 01:30:50,545
[SHOUTING AND SINGING]
1359
01:31:00,655 --> 01:31:02,523
Sir Charles: Good
morning, George.
1360
01:31:02,557 --> 01:31:05,693
Look what I found.
1361
01:31:05,726 --> 01:31:07,695
Sergeant, you're up early.
1362
01:31:07,728 --> 01:31:09,630
I haven't been to bed yet.
1363
01:31:09,664 --> 01:31:11,232
Come aboard.
1364
01:31:18,906 --> 01:31:21,375
Well, you look like
you need some breakfast.
1365
01:31:21,409 --> 01:31:23,878
Have a little pineapple
or something.
1366
01:31:23,911 --> 01:31:25,146
Darling, you remember
sergeant Sleigh.
1367
01:31:25,179 --> 01:31:26,380
Of course I do.
1368
01:31:26,414 --> 01:31:28,316
Hello. Do sit down.
Thank you.
1369
01:31:28,349 --> 01:31:29,884
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Oh, yes, please.
1370
01:31:29,917 --> 01:31:31,719
I'll get that.
Thank you.
1371
01:31:31,752 --> 01:31:33,054
Now, obviously those
are not your handcuffs,
1372
01:31:33,087 --> 01:31:34,222
so you don't have a key.
1373
01:31:34,255 --> 01:31:35,990
Darling, may I borrow
your manicure set?
1374
01:31:36,023 --> 01:31:36,991
Oh, yes, darling.
1375
01:31:37,024 --> 01:31:38,392
Thank you so much.
1376
01:31:38,426 --> 01:31:39,660
I'll time you on that,
uncle Charles.
1377
01:31:39,694 --> 01:31:41,162
All right.
This should do it.
1378
01:31:41,195 --> 01:31:43,397
Here you are.
Thank you.
1379
01:31:43,431 --> 01:31:45,566
I… I feel I owe you
an explanation.
1380
01:31:45,600 --> 01:31:47,335
You see, there was
this young lady
1381
01:31:47,368 --> 01:31:49,670
who said her name
was juleta Shane.
1382
01:31:49,704 --> 01:31:51,672
Juleta, what a pretty name.
1383
01:31:51,706 --> 01:31:53,407
Yes, but her real name
was Julie Morgan.
1384
01:31:53,441 --> 01:31:54,909
I know Julie Morgan.
1385
01:31:54,942 --> 01:31:57,078
Didn't she work
for Countess Chandra?
1386
01:31:57,111 --> 01:31:58,679
Yes.
1387
01:31:58,713 --> 01:32:00,348
12 seconds, uncle Charles.
1388
01:32:00,381 --> 01:32:02,183
Oh, stop, George.
That's not fair.
1389
01:32:02,216 --> 01:32:03,584
You're rattling him.
1390
01:32:03,618 --> 01:32:04,852
Yes, don't rattle me, George.
1391
01:32:04,886 --> 01:32:06,587
Anyway, somebody shot her.
1392
01:32:06,621 --> 01:32:08,189
No.
With a dart.
1393
01:32:08,222 --> 01:32:10,258
With a dart?
A tranquilizer.
1394
01:32:10,291 --> 01:32:11,692
Imagine.
1395
01:32:11,726 --> 01:32:12,760
Oh, my god.
It's beyond me.
1396
01:32:12,793 --> 01:32:15,263
Somebody in one of
those big heads.
1397
01:32:15,296 --> 01:32:16,697
Big heads?
1398
01:32:16,731 --> 01:32:18,699
Yes.
They had an air gun,
1399
01:32:18,733 --> 01:32:20,434
and just as we were about
to drink some champagne…
1400
01:32:20,468 --> 01:32:22,770
Pop! Right in
the back of the neck?
1401
01:32:22,803 --> 01:32:23,771
Right!
1402
01:32:23,804 --> 01:32:25,106
There we are.
1403
01:32:25,139 --> 01:32:27,208
28 seconds. You're
getting a little rusty.
1404
01:32:27,241 --> 01:32:29,777
Well, all right, George.
You try the other one.
1405
01:32:29,810 --> 01:32:30,378
All right.
1406
01:32:30,411 --> 01:32:32,713
I'll time you.
Terrific.
1407
01:32:32,747 --> 01:32:33,948
Ready? Go.
1408
01:32:33,981 --> 01:32:36,784
[BIRDS CRYING]
1409
01:32:36,817 --> 01:32:38,619
I really appreciate this.
1410
01:32:38,653 --> 01:32:41,289
And you're not aiding
and abetting a criminal.
1411
01:32:41,322 --> 01:32:42,623
Ha, thank god for that.
1412
01:32:42,657 --> 01:32:43,958
You see,
I was falsely accused…
1413
01:32:43,991 --> 01:32:45,393
Lady Litton:
Of course.
1414
01:32:45,426 --> 01:32:47,895
And now it's imperative I
find this Countess Chandra.
1415
01:32:47,929 --> 01:32:51,232
Didn't she own an exclusive
health spa in majorca?
1416
01:32:51,265 --> 01:32:52,733
Still does.
1417
01:32:52,767 --> 01:32:53,801
10 seconds, George.
1418
01:32:53,834 --> 01:32:55,236
Don't rattle me.
1419
01:32:55,269 --> 01:32:56,404
Majorca.
1420
01:32:56,437 --> 01:32:58,406
I've got to get to majorca.
1421
01:32:58,439 --> 01:33:00,141
Uh, we're going there,
on our way.
1422
01:33:00,174 --> 01:33:02,643
And we'll be very happy
to give you a lift.
1423
01:33:02,677 --> 01:33:03,978
Really?
Yes.
1424
01:33:04,011 --> 01:33:05,313
Gosh, that's terrific.
1425
01:33:05,346 --> 01:33:07,748
I go there every year.
Charles won't try it.
1426
01:33:07,782 --> 01:33:09,817
He was in the infantry.
You know, all that mud.
1427
01:33:09,850 --> 01:33:10,818
Mud?
1428
01:33:10,851 --> 01:33:12,653
Well, how'd I do?
1429
01:33:12,687 --> 01:33:14,088
Not bad.
I just beat you.
1430
01:33:14,121 --> 01:33:15,656
Sure you won't have a pineapple?
1431
01:33:15,690 --> 01:33:17,191
OK.
1432
01:33:20,528 --> 01:33:22,330
Thank you, Countess.
I'm very grateful.
1433
01:33:22,363 --> 01:33:24,699
It's been my pleasure.
1434
01:33:28,035 --> 01:33:29,837
[CARTOON MUSIC
PLAYING ON TV]
1435
01:33:29,870 --> 01:33:31,105
We have a problem.
1436
01:33:31,138 --> 01:33:32,440
Julie's in the hospital.
1437
01:33:32,473 --> 01:33:35,943
The man who chief agila says shot
her with the tranquilizing dart
1438
01:33:35,977 --> 01:33:37,345
has escaped.
1439
01:33:37,378 --> 01:33:39,013
Chief agila claims the man
1440
01:33:39,046 --> 01:33:40,014
was impersonating
sergeant Sleigh.
1441
01:33:40,047 --> 01:33:41,849
It doesn't make sense.
1442
01:33:41,882 --> 01:33:43,517
Julie knew what
Sleigh looked like.
1443
01:33:43,551 --> 01:33:45,786
Sometimes it is possible
to look like one person,
1444
01:33:45,820 --> 01:33:47,955
but actually be another.
1445
01:33:47,989 --> 01:33:49,457
Ta-da!
1446
01:33:49,490 --> 01:33:50,858
[GASPS] My god!
1447
01:33:50,891 --> 01:33:53,027
It's fantastic!
1448
01:33:53,060 --> 01:33:54,795
Oh, darling.
1449
01:33:54,829 --> 01:33:57,198
Uh, don't kiss him too hard.
1450
01:33:57,231 --> 01:33:59,133
His lips might fall off.
1451
01:33:59,166 --> 01:34:00,134
What?
1452
01:34:00,167 --> 01:34:01,535
Just a little surgical humor.
1453
01:34:01,569 --> 01:34:03,738
Here, have a look.
1454
01:34:05,506 --> 01:34:06,907
Happy?
1455
01:34:17,418 --> 01:34:20,888
Hey, is that the little yacht?
1456
01:34:20,921 --> 01:34:22,256
Sí, senor.
1457
01:34:28,029 --> 01:34:30,231
You can't see the spa from here.
1458
01:34:30,264 --> 01:34:32,500
It's about a quarter
of a mile inland.
1459
01:34:32,533 --> 01:34:34,835
I sure would like
to case the layout.
1460
01:34:34,869 --> 01:34:36,771
That won't be easy.
1461
01:34:48,949 --> 01:34:50,451
Wow.
1462
01:34:58,626 --> 01:35:00,127
Whoa!
1463
01:35:03,964 --> 01:35:05,266
Get up!
1464
01:35:05,299 --> 01:35:08,135
Whoa!
1465
01:35:17,912 --> 01:35:20,881
Whoa!
1466
01:35:20,915 --> 01:35:22,283
Have you tried that?
1467
01:35:22,316 --> 01:35:23,784
No.
1468
01:35:23,818 --> 01:35:25,286
It looks like fun.
1469
01:35:25,319 --> 01:35:27,321
No, it looks like suicide.
1470
01:36:00,121 --> 01:36:02,857
[SCREAMING]
1471
01:36:04,625 --> 01:36:05,593
Uhh!
1472
01:36:05,626 --> 01:36:09,530
Oh! Oh, no! Ohh!
1473
01:36:14,301 --> 01:36:16,170
Oh!
1474
01:36:16,203 --> 01:36:17,872
[MOANING]
1475
01:36:23,978 --> 01:36:25,346
Are you all right?
1476
01:36:25,379 --> 01:36:28,349
Yes. Yes, I think I am,
thank you.
1477
01:36:28,382 --> 01:36:30,951
I'm Countess Chandra.
1478
01:36:30,985 --> 01:36:32,453
Sergeant Sleigh.
1479
01:36:32,486 --> 01:36:34,522
Lucky you landed in the mud.
1480
01:36:34,555 --> 01:36:35,956
Yes. It's hot mud.
1481
01:36:35,990 --> 01:36:37,958
Volcanic. It's good
for the skin.
1482
01:36:37,992 --> 01:36:39,860
Doesn't do much for the
clothes, I'm afraid.
1483
01:36:39,894 --> 01:36:41,195
Would you like to rinse off?
1484
01:36:41,228 --> 01:36:43,030
Yes, I think I would.
1485
01:36:43,063 --> 01:36:44,365
This way.
1486
01:36:44,398 --> 01:36:46,634
Straight ahead.
1487
01:36:46,667 --> 01:36:47,868
To your left.
1488
01:36:47,902 --> 01:36:49,303
Big step.
1489
01:36:49,336 --> 01:36:51,572
I'll get you a towel.
1490
01:36:55,075 --> 01:36:58,479
I'm investigating the disappearance
of inspector Clouseau.
1491
01:36:58,512 --> 01:37:00,548
You just missed chief agila.
1492
01:37:00,581 --> 01:37:02,216
He says you're an impostor.
1493
01:37:02,249 --> 01:37:04,652
Oh, he does, does he?
Well, I'm not.
1494
01:37:04,685 --> 01:37:08,022
And I want some answers.
1495
01:37:11,258 --> 01:37:14,061
Julie Morgan,
also known as juleta Shane,
1496
01:37:14,094 --> 01:37:15,229
knows who I am.
1497
01:37:15,262 --> 01:37:17,498
I'm so glad Julie's
going to be all right.
1498
01:37:17,531 --> 01:37:20,334
How bizarre.
A tranquilizing dart.
1499
01:37:20,367 --> 01:37:20,935
Who do you think shot her?
1500
01:37:20,968 --> 01:37:22,903
I thought you might know.
1501
01:37:22,937 --> 01:37:24,071
Why me?
1502
01:37:24,104 --> 01:37:25,573
She works for you.
1503
01:37:25,606 --> 01:37:27,074
Lots of people work for me.
1504
01:37:27,107 --> 01:37:28,409
What Julie does on her own
time is her own business.
1505
01:37:28,442 --> 01:37:30,010
Ah!
1506
01:37:30,044 --> 01:37:32,079
Aah! Aah! Aah!
1507
01:37:32,112 --> 01:37:34,081
My god.
1508
01:37:34,114 --> 01:37:36,083
[FRENCH ACCENT]
Yes, I… I know that.
1509
01:37:36,116 --> 01:37:37,518
You!
1510
01:37:37,551 --> 01:37:39,753
Yes, it, uh…
It is me.
1511
01:37:39,787 --> 01:37:43,023
I'm, uh, just checking
the, uh…
1512
01:37:43,057 --> 01:37:45,259
The bar for the bar-fleas,
you know?
1513
01:37:45,292 --> 01:37:48,596
Aah!
Damn that swine step!
1514
01:37:48,629 --> 01:37:52,032
You really should do something
1515
01:37:52,066 --> 01:37:54,068
about your architecture
there, my darling.
1516
01:37:58,806 --> 01:38:00,107
Darling.
1517
01:38:00,140 --> 01:38:01,609
Yes, my darling?
1518
01:38:01,642 --> 01:38:03,277
You're smoking the wrong end.
1519
01:38:03,310 --> 01:38:06,280
Yes, I knew that.
1520
01:38:06,313 --> 01:38:09,617
You don't have to tell me
I'm smoking the wrong end.
1521
01:38:09,650 --> 01:38:12,720
Do you know why I'm
smoking the wrong end?
1522
01:38:12,753 --> 01:38:15,122
No, darling, but I'm sure
you've got a very good reason.
1523
01:38:15,155 --> 01:38:16,557
Right.
1524
01:38:16,590 --> 01:38:18,292
I am smoking the wrong end
1525
01:38:18,325 --> 01:38:21,262
because I have
a very good reason.
1526
01:38:22,663 --> 01:38:24,131
Ohh!
1527
01:38:24,164 --> 01:38:26,467
Are you all right?
1528
01:38:26,500 --> 01:38:30,070
Yes, of course I'm all right.
1529
01:38:30,104 --> 01:38:32,473
I'm, uh, I'm examining the roof.
1530
01:38:32,506 --> 01:38:34,308
Can I give you a hand?
1531
01:38:34,341 --> 01:38:35,976
Oh. Thank you.
1532
01:38:36,010 --> 01:38:37,244
Yo! Ow!
1533
01:38:37,278 --> 01:38:39,079
Obviously you are not a smoker.
1534
01:38:39,113 --> 01:38:40,481
I'm sorry.
1535
01:38:40,514 --> 01:38:42,016
Unh!
1536
01:38:47,021 --> 01:38:48,422
Ahh.
1537
01:38:48,455 --> 01:38:52,493
Do you realize you are
wearing my ice bucket?
1538
01:38:52,526 --> 01:38:54,495
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's… it's stuck.
1539
01:38:54,528 --> 01:38:57,097
Yes, well, that is no problem.
1540
01:38:57,131 --> 01:38:58,832
I'm an expert in these matters.
1541
01:38:58,866 --> 01:39:00,267
Bend down.
1542
01:39:00,301 --> 01:39:03,437
Bend over.
1543
01:39:03,470 --> 01:39:05,673
Uhh! Uhh!
1544
01:39:05,706 --> 01:39:08,175
Here, let me help.
1545
01:39:08,208 --> 01:39:09,777
Yes, it is a question
of leverage.
1546
01:39:09,810 --> 01:39:11,145
Yaah!
1547
01:39:20,721 --> 01:39:21,855
Ohh!
1548
01:39:21,889 --> 01:39:23,557
Ahh.
1549
01:39:29,563 --> 01:39:31,799
Yes, that is better.
1550
01:39:31,832 --> 01:39:34,702
It goes with the suit, you know.
1551
01:39:34,735 --> 01:39:38,706
Oh, by the way, we have not
been properly introduced.
1552
01:39:38,739 --> 01:39:41,208
You, of course, know who I am?
1553
01:39:41,241 --> 01:39:42,543
Sergeant Sleigh.
1554
01:39:42,576 --> 01:39:44,712
No, I am not sergeant Sleigh.
1555
01:39:44,745 --> 01:39:46,213
No, I'm sergeant Sleigh.
1556
01:39:46,246 --> 01:39:49,216
Oh, yes. Now we are
getting somewhere.
1557
01:39:49,249 --> 01:39:51,218
Chandra: Shall we
all have a drink?
1558
01:39:51,251 --> 01:39:52,653
An excellent idea.
1559
01:39:52,686 --> 01:39:56,890
I will have my usual.
A kahlúa and root beer.
1560
01:39:56,924 --> 01:39:59,059
I'll just have the root beer.
1561
01:39:59,093 --> 01:40:01,495
You do not know
what you're missing.
1562
01:40:01,528 --> 01:40:06,066
It is combinaison that makes
a real thirst quencher.
1563
01:40:06,100 --> 01:40:07,901
I'm a teetotaler.
1564
01:40:07,935 --> 01:40:10,738
Oh.
You total the tee.
1565
01:40:10,771 --> 01:40:13,240
I thought you were
a police sergeant.
1566
01:40:13,273 --> 01:40:14,174
I am.
1567
01:40:14,208 --> 01:40:15,409
Before I left New York,
1568
01:40:15,442 --> 01:40:17,177
I read you were
making another movie.
1569
01:40:17,211 --> 01:40:19,179
Uh, he had 2 weeks off.
1570
01:40:19,213 --> 01:40:21,749
Yes, I have, uh,
2 weeks off, you know.
1571
01:40:21,782 --> 01:40:26,186
And when I have the time, I
come here to take the waters.
1572
01:40:26,220 --> 01:40:27,855
Very cleansing.
1573
01:40:27,888 --> 01:40:30,924
I enjoy a good cleanse.
1574
01:40:30,958 --> 01:40:33,193
I'm afraid there's no more ice.
1575
01:40:33,227 --> 01:40:34,595
That's ok.
1576
01:40:34,628 --> 01:40:37,197
Well, here's to your
investigation, sergeant.
1577
01:40:37,231 --> 01:40:38,599
To inspector Clouseau.
1578
01:40:38,632 --> 01:40:40,300
Chief inspector.
1579
01:40:41,635 --> 01:40:43,103
[COUGHS]
1580
01:40:43,137 --> 01:40:44,271
Aah!
1581
01:40:44,304 --> 01:40:46,373
That felt good.
1582
01:40:46,407 --> 01:40:49,777
Have you ever seen
this man before?
1583
01:40:49,810 --> 01:40:53,280
No, I've never seen this man
before in my life. Never.
1584
01:40:53,313 --> 01:40:54,948
It's inspector Clouseau.
1585
01:40:54,982 --> 01:40:56,550
Chief inspector.
1586
01:40:56,583 --> 01:40:58,285
That's inspector Clouseau?
1587
01:40:58,318 --> 01:40:59,286
Chief inspector.
1588
01:40:59,319 --> 01:41:00,287
Do you know him?
1589
01:41:00,320 --> 01:41:01,555
Yes.
What?
1590
01:41:01,588 --> 01:41:02,890
Well, he came here
about a year ago,
1591
01:41:02,923 --> 01:41:04,725
but he said his name
was Gino Rossi.
1592
01:41:04,758 --> 01:41:06,727
He wanted the name of
a good plastic surgeon,
1593
01:41:06,760 --> 01:41:09,129
so I recommended
Dr. prospus Stang of Madrid.
1594
01:41:09,163 --> 01:41:13,801
Well, I… Guess that
just about does it.
1595
01:41:13,834 --> 01:41:15,135
It does?
1596
01:41:15,169 --> 01:41:18,305
Yes. There is one
more thing, though.
1597
01:41:18,338 --> 01:41:21,141
Could I have your autograph?
1598
01:41:21,175 --> 01:41:24,244
It's for my grandfather.
1599
01:41:24,278 --> 01:41:25,579
[BUZZ]
1600
01:41:25,612 --> 01:41:27,247
Hello oui?
1601
01:41:27,281 --> 01:41:28,415
Hello, François.
1602
01:41:28,449 --> 01:41:29,650
Oh, it's you.
1603
01:41:29,683 --> 01:41:31,819
Good afternoon.
Where are you?
1604
01:41:31,852 --> 01:41:33,987
I am in agony.
1605
01:41:34,021 --> 01:41:37,257
I want you to arrange
for a hospital plane
1606
01:41:37,291 --> 01:41:40,661
to carry me back
to Paris immediately,
1607
01:41:40,694 --> 01:41:44,598
and, uh, and ask my
psychiatrist if he can see me,
1608
01:41:44,631 --> 01:41:47,501
5 days a week, twice a day.
1609
01:41:47,534 --> 01:41:48,836
Oui.
1610
01:41:48,869 --> 01:41:51,772
Have you heard
from sergeant Sleigh?
1611
01:41:51,805 --> 01:41:53,674
He called about 5 minutes ago,
1612
01:41:53,707 --> 01:41:55,509
uh, from a health spa.
1613
01:41:55,542 --> 01:41:57,444
Health spa?
Oui.
1614
01:41:57,478 --> 01:42:00,681
He asked me to check on
a man named Gino Rossi.
1615
01:42:00,714 --> 01:42:03,350
And then he said he was
leaving for Madrid
1616
01:42:03,383 --> 01:42:07,454
to question a plastic
surgeon named, uh, Stang.
1617
01:42:07,488 --> 01:42:09,857
Yes, well, uh,
good-bye, sergeant,
1618
01:42:09,890 --> 01:42:12,693
and, uh, don't be
a stranger, huh?
1619
01:42:12,726 --> 01:42:14,194
Ha. Thank you.
1620
01:42:14,228 --> 01:42:15,863
See you at the movies, huh?
1621
01:42:15,896 --> 01:42:17,698
Yes.
[CHUCKLES]
1622
01:42:17,731 --> 01:42:18,899
Cheerio.
1623
01:42:30,511 --> 01:42:32,546
Did that swine
architect of yours
1624
01:42:32,579 --> 01:42:35,749
move that door by any chance?
1625
01:42:37,351 --> 01:42:39,319
There goes the last
of our problems.
1626
01:42:39,353 --> 01:42:41,321
Yes.
Come on.
1627
01:42:41,355 --> 01:42:42,322
Where are we going?
1628
01:42:42,356 --> 01:42:43,724
Let's celebrate.
1629
01:42:43,757 --> 01:42:44,591
I haven't seen it
for such a long time.
1630
01:42:44,625 --> 01:42:47,060
Well, I've not been
too well, you know?
1631
01:42:47,094 --> 01:42:50,230
Not that.
The Pink Panther.
1632
01:42:50,264 --> 01:42:51,999
I was just checking.
1633
01:42:52,032 --> 01:42:54,334
[GASPS]
1634
01:42:54,368 --> 01:42:55,536
Oh, my god!
1635
01:42:58,372 --> 01:42:59,773
It's gone!
1636
01:43:04,545 --> 01:43:07,014
Swine Phantom!
1637
01:43:07,047 --> 01:43:08,849
I interrogated
Dr. Stang,
1638
01:43:08,882 --> 01:43:13,086
who admitted that he had
operated on Clouseau's face.
1639
01:43:13,120 --> 01:43:16,590
This is what he looked
like after the operation.
1640
01:43:16,623 --> 01:43:18,759
He stole The Pink Panther,
1641
01:43:18,792 --> 01:43:22,529
had his face changed, and then
called himself Gino Rossi.
1642
01:43:22,563 --> 01:43:24,431
And you are sure he's dead?
1643
01:43:24,464 --> 01:43:25,866
The Valencia…
1644
01:43:25,899 --> 01:43:27,768
According to the… go ahead.
1645
01:43:27,801 --> 01:43:28,936
You wanted to say something?
1646
01:43:28,969 --> 01:43:30,037
No, no. After you.
1647
01:43:30,070 --> 01:43:31,605
You're sure?
Yes, please.
1648
01:43:31,638 --> 01:43:34,107
All I wanted to say is
that the Valencia police
1649
01:43:34,141 --> 01:43:37,377
identified the man in the
photograph as a John dough
1650
01:43:37,411 --> 01:43:39,279
who had been shot
1651
01:43:39,313 --> 01:43:42,049
and whose corpse was found
washed up on the beach.
1652
01:43:42,082 --> 01:43:44,451
Obviously killed
for the diamond.
1653
01:43:44,484 --> 01:43:45,953
Obviously.
1654
01:43:45,986 --> 01:43:48,889
Should we have the body
exhumed just to make sure?
1655
01:43:48,922 --> 01:43:50,457
Uh, no.
1656
01:43:50,490 --> 01:43:52,459
Ahem. I have compared
Clouseau's fingerprints
1657
01:43:52,492 --> 01:43:54,294
with those of the dead man,
1658
01:43:54,328 --> 01:43:56,396
and, uh, they are identical.
1659
01:43:56,430 --> 01:43:59,466
Oh, yes. There is no doubt
that Clouseau is dead.
1660
01:43:59,499 --> 01:44:01,568
A good cop gone bad.
1661
01:44:01,602 --> 01:44:03,403
Yes, well…
[CHUCKLES]
1662
01:44:03,437 --> 01:44:05,138
You've certainly proved
1663
01:44:05,172 --> 01:44:07,407
that you are a good cop,
sergeant,
1664
01:44:07,441 --> 01:44:08,475
a credit to the profession.
1665
01:44:08,508 --> 01:44:10,811
On behalf of the President
and the people of France,
1666
01:44:10,844 --> 01:44:12,479
I congratulate you.
Good-bye.
1667
01:44:12,512 --> 01:44:13,814
Thank you, sir.
1668
01:44:13,847 --> 01:44:15,949
[LAUGHS]
Good-bye.
1669
01:44:28,962 --> 01:44:31,164
Good-bye, Mr. Rossi,
1670
01:44:31,198 --> 01:44:35,836
alias chief inspector Clouseau.
1671
01:44:35,869 --> 01:44:37,871
[CHUCKLES]
1672
01:44:56,723 --> 01:44:57,824
Ahh.
1673
01:45:02,829 --> 01:45:05,532
Peace at last!
1674
01:45:05,565 --> 01:45:07,467
Ahh!
1675
01:45:07,501 --> 01:45:08,869
[CHUCKLING]
1676
01:45:08,902 --> 01:45:10,704
Well, bon voyage, sergeant.
1677
01:45:10,737 --> 01:45:11,805
Well done.
1678
01:45:11,838 --> 01:45:13,640
You should come again sometime.
1679
01:45:13,674 --> 01:45:14,641
Thank you.
1680
01:45:14,675 --> 01:45:15,876
DREYFUS: Help! Help!
1681
01:45:15,909 --> 01:45:18,378
I'm burning! Hurry up!
1682
01:45:18,412 --> 01:45:20,380
Get the hose!
1683
01:45:20,414 --> 01:45:22,849
The… the hose!
There!
1684
01:45:25,085 --> 01:45:26,987
DREYFUS: Hurry up!
1685
01:45:27,020 --> 01:45:28,588
Help!
1686
01:45:30,857 --> 01:45:32,726
Help! Hurry up!
1687
01:45:32,759 --> 01:45:33,994
Hit the water!
1688
01:45:34,027 --> 01:45:38,065
Help! Oh, help!
1689
01:45:38,098 --> 01:45:40,033
Aah!
1690
01:45:42,269 --> 01:45:43,937
Aah!
1691
01:45:49,943 --> 01:45:51,445
Check.
1692
01:45:52,946 --> 01:45:54,948
Mate!
1693
01:45:56,783 --> 01:45:58,085
Ah.
1694
01:45:58,118 --> 01:45:59,753
Beautiful.
1695
01:45:59,786 --> 01:46:02,856
Do you, um, recommend
Countess Chandra's?
1696
01:46:02,889 --> 01:46:04,858
Definitely.
1697
01:46:04,891 --> 01:46:07,861
In fact, I'd love to go back
there and spend more time.
1698
01:46:07,894 --> 01:46:11,765
By the way, I seem
to be missing a glove.
1699
01:46:11,798 --> 01:46:15,769
Always leave something,
for something is my motive.
1700
01:46:15,802 --> 01:46:16,870
What's yours?
1701
01:46:16,903 --> 01:46:19,973
Never look a gift horse
in the mouth.
1702
01:46:22,809 --> 01:46:24,478
I'll drink to that.
1703
01:46:25,746 --> 01:46:27,481
[CLINK CLINK]
1704
01:46:44,765 --> 01:46:46,500
[CLATTER]