1
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English-SDH

2
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I was offered a summer research fellowship
at Princeton.

3
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Princeton, a fine institution.

4
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The place where Albert Einstein taught

5
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and where Leonard got his PhD,
so it may have gone downhill.

6
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Just remember, I'm proud of you
and I support you in all that you do.

7
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Thank you, that means a lot.

8
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Oh, and one last thing, if you find
yourself working with a male scientist

9
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who's as smart as me, as tall as me,
and has hair like Thor,

10
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well, then, I want you to step away from
the situation and call me immediately.

11
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How are you settling in?

12
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<i>Pretty well.
Princeton has a beautiful campus.</i>

13
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You know, I've learned some fun facts
about New Jersey,

14
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to help you make small talk.

15
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Would you like to know the state bird
or the murder rate?

16
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They're both shocking.

17
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<i>Actually, I want to hear about you.</i>

18
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<i>How are things at home?</i>

19
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Well, I'm a lot less likely to see
an Eastern Goldfinch or be murdered,

20
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I'll tell you that.

21
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<i>I miss you.</i>

22
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I miss you, too.

23
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<i>It's so strange, earlier today,
I ended a sentence with a preposition,</i>

24
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<i>and you weren't there
to correct my grammar.</i>

25
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I am sorry you had to go through that.

26
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<i>In fact,
that's when I started to really miss you.</i>

27
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You know you just split an infinitive.

28
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<i>Did I? Are you going to teach me a lesson?</i>

29
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Lam!

30
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It is naughty to put an adverb
between the word "to" and the verb stem.

31
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<i>What are you going to do about it?</i>

32
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I'm going to admonish you.

33
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<i>Vigorously?</i>

34
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That's the only kind of admonishing I do.

35
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(THEME SONG PLAYING)

36
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How's Sheldon doing with Amy gone?

37
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Well, the last three nights,
I've had to take him to get a haircut,

38
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to the train store
and to a Walgreens in Arcadia,

39
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where they still have
the "good ibuprofen."

40
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Now ask me how I'm doing with Amy gone.

41
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- How are you doing with...
- Shut up.

42
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If you'd like, we can help you out.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

43
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Oh, that would be great.

44
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I mean, not me, I've got a wife and child,

45
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but this one posts video of himself
flossing on lnstagram.

46
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It was a tutorial.

47
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And yes,
I'm happy to keep Sheldon company.

48
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Great, tonight he wants to look at ladders
at Home Depot.

49
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Oh, why does he need a ladder?

50
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He doesn't, he just likes looking at them,
bring a book.

51
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Gentlemen, you may remember Dr. Nowitzki,
she's back at Caltech for her postdoc.

52
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LEONARD: Hello.
RAJ: Hi. Oh, let me bring a chair for you.

53
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Oh, thanks. Dr. Nowitzki is going to
tell me about the work she did at CERN.

54
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And she brought me
this duty-free Toblerone.

55
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(CHUCKLES) on, <i>I</i> love those!

56
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Let's sit somewhere else.

57
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What just happened?

58
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A strangerjust lured Sheldon away
with a candy bar.

59
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Isn't she the grad student
that used to follow him around?

60
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Oh, yeah, back before he hit puberty
and grew man parts.

61
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(LEONARD CHUCKLES)

62
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So, what do you guys think that's about?

63
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Knowing Sheldon, nothing.

64
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So, tell me about
your scalar dark energy experiment.

65
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Not till you tell me about
your latest paper on quantum loop theory.

66
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Oh. You must be one of those
dessert-before-dinner people.

67
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(CHUCKLES)

68
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He just made her laugh, something's wrong.

69
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Do you see the way she's looking at him?

70
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Yeah. Like Bernadette used to look at me.

71
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I keep telling you,
close the bathroom door.

72
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Oh, did you see that?

73
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She just touched his hand
and he didn't swat it away.

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What is happening?

75
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Okay, the simplest explanation
is usually the right one.

76
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- Which is?
- That ain't Sheldon.

77
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Not only did they eat together,
Leonard said he made her laugh!

78
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That's nothing,
Howie said she touched his hand.

79
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What? Did he Purell?

80
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No.

81
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I cannot believe Leonard
mentioned the Toblerone,

82
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but left that part out.

83
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Should we call Amy?

84
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I don't know,
we shouldn't worry her if it's nothing.

85
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I guess we could wait
till we have more information

86
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- about this girl.
- Yeah. (SIGHS)

87
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Do you think living with Amy has somehow
stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?

88
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Ugh!

89
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How can you think that?

90
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Why would you even
put those words together?

91
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All right, then we agree,
he's not making any moves,

92
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it's this Dr. Ramona chick.

93
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Nowitzki. I googled her,
she's pretty cute.

94
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Really? All I got from Leonard was,
"The Toblerone bar had nuts."

95
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Oh! And get this, I saw an articulating
ladder with dual-leg leveling,

96
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which delivers stability
and adaptability to uneven terrain.

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<i>Sounds like a big night.</i>

98
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Raj made the funniest joke, he said,

99
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"Which is the best ladder to use
to hang myself?" (LAUGHS)

100
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<i>So you're keeping busy, you're not lonely?</i>

101
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Not at all. No, I've had outings with
Leonard and Raj in the evening,

102
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and, Oh, I had lunch with Dr. Nowitzki.

103
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<i>Who's he?</i>

104
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Oh, no, Dr. Nowitzki is a woman.

105
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<i>Oh, really? When did you meet her?</i>

106
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Many years ago,
back when she was a grad student.

107
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She's always been a huge fan of my work,
and now she's doing research at Caltech.

108
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<i>"Huge fan" you say?</i>

109
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Yes. I think you'd like her.

110
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She's extremely intelligent,
just like you.

111
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Unlike you, she's tall, blonde
and used to be an Olympic swimmer.

112
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<i>That's terrific, I'll call you right back.</i>

113
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(RINGTONE PLAYING ON LAPTOP)

114
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<i>"Oh. hey, Amy.
'l gave you one job!</i>

115
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<i>Keep an eye on him! How hard is that?</i>

116
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We thought you meant
not letting him run out into traffic.

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Which he only did once.

118
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<i>Why didn't you tell me?</i>

119
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We didn't want you to worry.

120
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<i>Should I worry?</i>

121
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No, come on, it's Sheldon,
nothing is going to happen.

122
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<i>That's what you said to me
when I started dating him.</i>

123
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<i>And then five years later,
bingo-bango, something happened!</i>

124
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Yeah, but you're going to be back
in three months.

125
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<i>(SIGHS) You don't get it.</i>

126
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<i>I've been smacking that ketchup bottle
for a long time.</i>

127
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<i>All she's got to do is tip it over
and point it at her fries!</i>

128
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What do you want us to do?

129
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<i>I don't know!</i>

130
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<i>Might be the New Jersey talking,</i>

131
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<i>but this Nowitzki broad
needs to disappear.</i>

132
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That's ridiculous.

133
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As far as we know, all that happened is
two scientists had lunch.

134
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<i>Yeah, but one of those scientists is
a tall, blonde Olympic swimmer!</i>

135
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,406
Oh, come on, looks don't
matter to Sheldon.

136
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Because he only has eyes for you.

137
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<i>- Nice</i> try.
- Thanks, I was scrambling.

138
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It's unbelievable.

139
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,801
Sheldon has lunch with another woman,
and somehow my wife yells at me.

140
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,085
Penny laid into me, too.

141
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,165
Apparently, I'm overly fixated
on premium Swiss chocolate bars.

142
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,564
Can you even eat those things?

143
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,128
Mmm, if I take a LACTAID a half-hour
before and some Pepto right after.

144
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,045
Sounds like a lot of work.

145
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,245
Ha, I'm worth it.

146
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,644
Guys, focus.
Should we do something about Nowitzki?

147
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- Like what?
- (RAJ SIGHS)

148
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Uh, well, she's single,
so if somebody else asks her out,

149
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,291
and she says yes,
then we know she's not into Sheldon.

150
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,680
I'll do it.

151
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,530
No offense, Stuart,
but the woman's a doctor.

152
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,164
So? Doctors like me.

153
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:51,970
Whenever I see mine, he calls in
a bunch of other doctors to have a look.

154
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,122
She's not that kind of doctor.

155
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,041
Oh. Well, her loss.

156
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,204
I have been called
"a genuine medical oddity."

157
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,361
- Actually, I was going to suggest me.
- (SCOFFS)

158
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,966
Great, anybody's better than... (MUMBLES)

159
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,325
Excuse me, they took out my spleen
and gallbladder, not my feelings.

160
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,650
(EXHALES AND CLEARS THROAT)

161
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,970
- Dr. Nowitzki, good to see you.
- Good to see you, too.

162
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,326
May lioin you?

163
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,811
No.

164
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,486
Good to see you.

165
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,047
We should call Guinness,
that might be a record.

166
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,285
She's clearly having a working lunch
and preferred to eat alone.

167
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,242
Dr. Cooper, over here!

168
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,527
I could have made her very happy.

169
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,128
You kept walking, I think you did.

170
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,084
You really think
there's reason to worry?

171
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,402
Yeah, she's definitely
going after Sheldon.

172
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,536
(SIGHS) I made a play for her,
and she shot me down.

173
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,528
All right, well,
that doesn't prove anything.

174
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:15,207
Yeah, there's a million reasons
a woman would shoot Raj down.

175
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,731
Like, really, a million?

176
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:19,881
Fine, hundreds.

177
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,371
Thank you.

178
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,887
The point is, this could be nothing
and we are all overreacting.

179
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,884
Hey, everybody, this is my friend,
Dr. Nowitzki.

180
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,201
Hi.

181
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,481
ALL: Hi.

182
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,568
We just went swimming.

183
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,725
You actually got in a pool?

184
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,481
I was scared,

185
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,122
but I told myself,
"It's just a big bathtub."

186
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,296
Then I got scared again
'cause there are all these strangers

187
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,440
- in my bathtub.
- (CHUCKLES)

188
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,567
I was proud of him.

189
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,411
A lot of people don't put
their face in the water on the first day.

190
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,086
I was hiding from a bee,
but it still counts.

191
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,568
Can I just squeeze in here?

192
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,483
So, Sheldon, have you talked to Amy?

193
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,766
Yes, we skyped this morning,

194
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,816
and I'm sure I'll check in with her
before I go to sleep.

195
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,604
Sheldon talks about her all the time.

196
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,921
I can't wait to meet her.

197
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,081
No... That is true,

198
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,090
she keeps asking
how long Amy's going to be gone.

199
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:29,201
Uh, so, Ramona, tell us about yourself,
do you have a boyfriend?

200
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,365
Leonard! Your wife is sitting right here,
what are you doing?

201
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,566
No, my work doesn't leave me a lot of time
for relationships.

202
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,922
I think you made that very clear.

203
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,726
She was part of the American team at CERN.

204
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,451
I had a front-row seat
when they detected the Higgs boson.

205
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,005
Do you know,
I've corresponded with Peter Higgs.

206
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,616
Would you like to see some of his letters?

207
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,483
- Absolutely.
- I'll get them.

208
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,962
Well, hang on, I'll come with you.

209
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,323
Oh, fun, like a playdate.

210
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,401
(DOOR CLOSES)

211
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,776
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong,

212
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,849
but isn't that exactly what we were
supposed to stop from happening?

213
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,327
I threw my body at them!

214
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,482
What else did you want me to do?

215
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,241
(PENNY SIGHS)

216
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,811
You think you should call Amy?

217
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,002
You got fingers and a mouth, you call her.

218
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:22,125
Here you go.

219
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,322
Are these all from Peter Higgs?

220
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,403
Oh, no, no.
They're from many famous people.

221
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,207
See? Oh, like this one.
This is from Patrick Stewart.

222
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,968
It says if I come to his house again,
I get to meet his dogs.

223
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,281
(CHUCKLES)

224
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,723
(RINGTONE PLAYING ON LAPTOP)

225
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,445
Oh, excuse me.

226
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,323
- Hello, Sheldon.
- Oh, hello, Amy.

227
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,810
<i>I was missing you again.</i>

228
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,930
I miss you, too. Hey! This is good timing.

229
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,646
You remember that Dr. Nowitzki
I told you about?

230
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,165
She's right here!

231
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,011
(STUTTERS) She's <i>what?</i>

232
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,241
Hello.

233
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,367
<i>Hi.</i>

234
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,211
So nice to meet you.

235
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:05,961
<i>Uh-huh.</i>

236
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,965
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

237
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,726
<i>Hang on. Hello?</i>

238
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,009
<i>Little late, Leonard!</i>

239
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,567
<i>Sorry.</i>

240
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,882
What is Leonard doing
calling you at this hour?

241
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,045
<i>It's not important.</i>

242
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,927
I must tell you,
that seems a little inappropriate.

243
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,003
- Don't you agree?
- I do.

244
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,565
See?

245
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,563
We both think so.

246
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,925
All right, this is making me crazy.
Somebody's got to go over there.

247
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,562
You've got feet and legs, you do it.

248
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,401
Will you go with me?

249
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,404
To do what,
shake a can of nickels at them?

250
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,844
We're being ridiculous.

251
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:54,369
There's no way a woman that attractive
is trying to seduce Sheldon Cooper.

252
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,771
You done
trying to make yourself feel better?

253
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,920
No, I haven't played the race card yet.

254
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,762
Hey. I hate to break up the party,

255
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,242
but Amy says I'm tired
and have to go to bed.

256
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,562
It was nice seeing everybody.
Thank you for dinner.

257
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,801
- Sure.
- Pleasure.

258
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,206
Whatever.

259
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,129
- Walk me to my car?
- Of course.

260
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,930
We'll all go!

261
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,641
Excuse me.

262
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,209
Pardon, I just need to... Yeah.

263
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,440
(CHUCKLES) That was fun, like Mario Kart.

264
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,241
Bye.

265
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,446
We need to talk.

266
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,890
Is this about Leonard and Amy?
I don't like it either.

267
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,366
Okay, I know you don't have
a lot of experience with women,

268
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,490
but Ramona
seems to have a romantic interest in you.

269
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,971
That doesn't make any sense,
she knows I have a girlfriend.

270
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,208
Well, sometimes women don't care.

271
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,203
Sometimes it makes them want a guy
even more.

272
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,969
Look, that may be true,
but Dr. Nowitzki's just a friend.

273
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,441
In fact, I wouldn't have even noticed
she's a woman

274
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,729
if she hadn't worn that bathing suit
that highlighted her bosom.

275
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,322
Okay, um, (CLEARS THROAT)
let's try this,

276
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,370
think of yourself as one of those
limited edition toys

277
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,646
people like to collect.

278
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,171
I already do.

279
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,766
Well, then you get it.

280
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,728
Oh! Because there's only one of me,
I'm more valuable.

281
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,041
Right.

282
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:09,407
Although,

283
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,281
Amy's already taken me out of my package
and played with me.

284
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,641
Let's forget the toy thing, okay?
Uh, maybe...

285
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:24,203
Penny, look, I appreciate your concern,
but I don't think that's what's happening.

286
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,087
All right, what do you think is happening?

287
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,166
I think Dr. Nowitzki
is a friendly colleague.

288
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,924
I think you and Leonard
need to see a marriage counselor.

289
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,326
And I need to update my resume
to include swimming as a special skill.

290
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:43,921
(DOOR CLOSES)

291
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,166
Don't look at me like that, I tried!

292
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,201
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

293
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,486
Hey, did you eat yet?

294
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,849
Ah, breakfast, yes, lunch, no.

295
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,246
I did have a cough drop,

296
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,609
but that really rides the line
between sucking and eating.

297
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,410
Well, perfect. I made us sandwiches.

298
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,130
How thoughtful.

299
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,328
- Thank you.
- No big deal,

300
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,164
I enjoy spending time with you.

301
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,049
And <i>I</i> with you.

302
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,327
Question.

303
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,930
Are you seeking
a romantic relationship with me?

304
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:25,646
What if I were?

305
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,921
Well, that would raise
a number of problems.

306
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,651
We're colleagues, I'm currently in a...

307
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,165
Excuse me a moment.

308
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,204
(CHUCKLES)

309
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,329
<i>- (KNOCKING)
- Amy? Amy. Amy.</i>

310
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,001
Will you marry me?

311
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,081
English-SDH