1
00:00:01,230 --> 00:00:02,810
This is my son, Harry.

2
00:00:03,050 --> 00:00:05,890
He's a big dermatologist here in Los
Angeles.

3
00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:07,750
You must be very proud.

4
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:12,670
Almost as proud as I am of my son, Ira,
the lawyer.

5
00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:13,929
A lawyer.

6
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:17,350
Well, I guess that's almost as nice as
being a doctor.

7
00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:23,790
Well, he was a lawyer before he wrote a
novel and won the National Book Award

8
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,870
and got his picture in People magazine.

9
00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:28,430
Your turn.

10
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:36,160
Okay. I wasn't going to do this, but
here's my daughter -in -law standing in

11
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:40,580
front of the Capitol building where she
works as a state senator.

12
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,300
Okay, I guess you win.

13
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:49,020
An ordinary man pushed to the breaking
point.

14
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:53,200
Unless it counts that my daughter -in
-law is a movie star.

15
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,220
His devoted wife struggling against the
odds.

16
00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:00,780
Oh. Look, there she is now.

17
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:10,380
Jeff Robbins and Sybil Sheridan star in
Punch Out, coming this summer to a

18
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:11,460
theater near you.

19
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,940
Please, you're embarrassing yourself.

20
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,100
She's not your daughter -in -law.

21
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:21,320
Ruth, I'm sorry I'm late.

22
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:25,840
I was in the lobby signing autographs.
Oh, you know how it is.

23
00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:33,940
Sybil. This lady's daughter -in -law is
a, um... What is it she does?

24
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,560
Never mind.

25
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:37,920
Enjoy the picture.

26
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,640
I love coming to visit you. Where's the
next preview?

27
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:48,160
In Theater 8. I heard a woman in there
bragging. Her daughter -in -law won a

28
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,160
medal in the Olympics.

29
00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:50,180
A medal?

30
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:51,580
Bronze.

31
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:53,220
She's toast.

32
00:01:55,600 --> 00:02:02,430
Loving one who loves you. And then
taking that bow Nice work if you

33
00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:08,690
can get it And if you get it Won't you
tell me how

34
00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:15,510
I could always stay at Ira's

35
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:19,110
place if it's a bother. No, you know you
don't get any sleep over there.

36
00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:22,350
He's always sneaking into your room at
night to make sure you're still alive.

37
00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:25,070
I've got it.

38
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:29,600
I'll split the difference. I'll stay
with you for six days, and then Ira can

39
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,600
drive me to the airport.

40
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:32,680
Yes, Richard.

41
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,380
I'll think about it. I promise.

42
00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:37,420
Goodbye.

43
00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:39,020
Sybil, I'm a wreck.

44
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,480
Richard and I are having the first major
crisis of our relationship.

45
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,300
He found that baggie with Michael
Bolton's hair you keep in the freezer?

46
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,140
No, this is much worse. He wants to meet
my mother.

47
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:51,700
And do you know why?

48
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:55,420
Because men believe that all women
eventually turn into their mothers.

49
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,720
As if there were no such thing as
plastic surgery and shock therapy.

50
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,140
I like your mother. When you took me to
Buffalo, she showered so much attention

51
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:08,360
on me, it was like you weren't even...
Shock therapy.

52
00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:10,060
You crack me up.

53
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,220
Shame on you, Marianne. Show some
respect for your mother.

54
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,280
After all, she gave you life. She gave
you a home.

55
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:20,320
She gave my prom date my cousin Sylvia's
phone number.

56
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,730
Introduce Richard to that woman. You
have to.

57
00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:29,290
It's not like this is some movie where
you could hire Betty White to play your

58
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,290
mother.

59
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:33,270
Although I always liked her. Bet she
bakes a nice cookie.

60
00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:35,410
Oh, no.

61
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,750
Brought you some fresh popcorn.

62
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,150
Oh, give me that face. I gotta have that
face.

63
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,330
If I tried that, I'd lose an arm.

64
00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:46,550
Listen, you're not gonna get in trouble
for this, are you? Hey, I've got the

65
00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:47,730
vest. I've got the flashlight.

66
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:48,930
I've got the power.

67
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:50,610
Goodbye.

68
00:03:50,910 --> 00:03:52,830
There's people waiting for nachos out
there.

69
00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:55,730
Get back behind the counter and melt
that cheese.

70
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:58,770
Now. The cheese pump?

71
00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:03,650
You mean it, Chucky? You think I'm
ready? I must be if you think so

72
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,530
gosh, you're the man.

73
00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:10,110
You're a slacker, Woodbine. You're a
disgrace to the vest.

74
00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:11,750
Is that my flashlight?

75
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,090
You know you're not supposed to touch my
flashlight?

76
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:19,190
I'm sorry, Chucky. It's just that...

77
00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:21,269
I don't want to be you.

78
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,450
Teach me.

79
00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:25,650
I hate to see her settling for this job.

80
00:04:25,870 --> 00:04:28,850
She was valedictorian of her high
school, for crying out loud.

81
00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:32,750
Sybil, she's only 18 years old. Give her
some time.

82
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:38,430
Now, if you girls will excuse me, I
think I'm going to go tell Chucky I

83
00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:39,550
finger in my nachos.

84
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,270
She's had plenty of time.

85
00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:47,110
She's already taken a year off. But I
can't say anything or she'll take a

86
00:04:47,110 --> 00:04:48,430
job just to spite me.

87
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,140
And then I can kiss these free raisinets
goodbye.

88
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:56,960
Fine. Well, it seems Betty White is
unavailable to play my mother.

89
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,720
But they're offering me Wheezy from the
Jeffersons.

90
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,020
Give me that phone!

91
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,240
My break is starting.

92
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,400
Quiet!

93
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,200
An ordinary man pushed to the breaking
point.

94
00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,150
I can't wait to see this movie.

95
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:22,810
His devoted wife struggling against the
odds.

96
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,050
Because of that woman right there.

97
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:32,090
Jeff Robbins and Sybil Sheridan star in
Punch -Out, coming this summer to a

98
00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:33,170
theater near you.

99
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:37,730
I saw her 20 years ago in Sorority Death
Squad. She was so much better than the

100
00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:39,010
movie. She's on school.

101
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,690
She's like my dream woman.

102
00:05:56,110 --> 00:05:58,750
Oh, I don't know, but this lipstick is
so me.

103
00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:05,110
Oh, no, there's a spider in my popcorn.

104
00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:06,970
Get it out! Get it out!

105
00:06:08,090 --> 00:06:09,670
Hey, I know that scream.

106
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,950
I'm so sorry.

107
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:14,950
The hell I am.

108
00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:23,790
Honey, I know this isn't comfortable for
you, but I need to change my will.

109
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,050
Oh, Mom.

110
00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,970
Is this going to be like when you want
your ashes scattered over the salad bar

111
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,890
at Fizzler because they wouldn't give
you iced tea refills?

112
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:32,790
I've thought it through this time.

113
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:35,830
I've decided that when I die, I want to
be frozen.

114
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:37,110
Here we go.

115
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:41,770
They'll thaw me out later when they find
a cure for whatever killed me.

116
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,170
Unless I get chewed up by an escalator
or something.

117
00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:47,650
Mom, stop.

118
00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:52,120
When you die, which is never ever going
to happen, I'd like to visit you in a

119
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,320
nice cemetery, not the spare freezer in
my garage.

120
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:59,840
Honey, it's not like I'm a fish stick
here. It's much more scientific than

121
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,900
But if it makes you feel better, you can
bury my body.

122
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,039
Thank you.

123
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,320
We'll just freeze my head.

124
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,179
Your head?

125
00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:08,180
It's cheaper.

126
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:12,480
I can't listen to this. I mean, when
they revive you, how can I get around?

127
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:13,740
In a bowling bag?

128
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:17,420
Well, you'll find a good body for me.

129
00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:19,890
Something with a nice turquoise.

130
00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:23,690
Knock, knock. Anybody home?

131
00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:27,190
Oh, hello, Marianne. There you are.

132
00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:31,250
Richard, I would like you to meet my
mother.

133
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:39,950
Mrs. Yukovich, I can't tell you how
honored I am that you flew all the way

134
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:42,730
Buffalo and postponed your operation
just to meet me.

135
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,320
handshake. Come here, Richie.

136
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:58,600
Mary Ann, your mother is everything you
said she was. Mother?

137
00:07:58,900 --> 00:07:59,900
Ira!

138
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:03,280
You two visit.

139
00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:05,480
Ira and I will have a nice little chat.

140
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,400
Now.

141
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,540
Mary Ann, this is insane. Why?

142
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,020
Am I supposed to let him meet my real
mother?

143
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:17,410
A woman who thinks she saw the image of
St.

144
00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,050
Bartholomew in a can of Pledge?

145
00:08:19,990 --> 00:08:22,290
As opposed to your new mother, who's
planning to have her head frozen.

146
00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:25,650
Look, just because you've got the good
mom doesn't mean you get to hog her.

147
00:08:27,410 --> 00:08:28,410
Okay, listen.

148
00:08:28,510 --> 00:08:32,429
When I feel a little more secure with
Richard, then I will tell him the truth.

149
00:08:32,950 --> 00:08:34,710
And by then, Betty White will be
available.

150
00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:38,409
I guess the important thing is that all
that made sense to you.

151
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:41,230
But what makes you think my mother's
going to keep this up for more than five

152
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:47,710
minutes? So my daughter is dating a
veterinarian. Listen, my parakeet has a

153
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:50,370
cough. Can you put VapoRub on a bird?

154
00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:57,470
Well, I can see where Marianne gets her
sense of humor. And her good looks, too.

155
00:08:58,150 --> 00:09:01,150
How am I doing so far, huh?

156
00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:04,070
I'm laughing too hard.

157
00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:08,870
Did she tell you she has a nice Jewish
mother?

158
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:10,640
Mom! Stop!

159
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,740
You're driving me sugar.

160
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:19,920
Ready?

161
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,600
Chucky's flashlight.

162
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,320
Chucky.

163
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,880
My name's Chucky.

164
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,900
I'm wearing big boy pants.

165
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:35,100
I thought I'd put crazy glue on the
switch so it won't turn off.

166
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,540
I have nothing more to teach you.

167
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,680
My little bird of fly.

168
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,460
What happened?

169
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,840
Did they discover that chicken fried
steak is actually good for you?

170
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,800
This is what she's yodeling about.

171
00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:59,460
Zoe! Danford!

172
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:00,740
It's just an application.

173
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:05,560
My year off is half over and I just
wanted to look into my options.

174
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,760
I guess I wanted to see if I could get
in.

175
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:38,760
to the rules, I'm not allowed to. You
actually bought that book?

176
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:39,960
No way.

177
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,080
My mother sent it to me.

178
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,560
She highlighted whole pages of it.

179
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,220
It even sounds like her.

180
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:52,100
Sybil dear, don't stare at men or talk
too much.

181
00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,620
Remember, Dumplin, let him take the
lead.

182
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,280
I read that book. You're not allowed to
call him.

183
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:02,220
But he doesn't have my number.

184
00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:03,950
That's not your problem.

185
00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:07,350
So what's the deal here?

186
00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:12,030
I should call his machine and leave my
number, and then when he calls back,

187
00:11:12,150 --> 00:11:13,330
don't take the call?

188
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:18,970
Yes, but when he finally does get
through, you fool him into thinking

189
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:19,970
something you're not.

190
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,670
That's the way to catch a feller.

191
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:26,710
Right.

192
00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:31,050
But just to be safe, when he gets
here...

193
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,920
I'll back over them with my car.

194
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,200
Stanford.

195
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,540
Very nice.

196
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:43,700
Yeah, I also got applications for UCLA,
Northwestern, and Berkeley.

197
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,340
Go ahead, here's the face.

198
00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:51,840
You don't seem happy about this. Well,
it's just that I don't know if I sent

199
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,300
them because I want to go or because I
think I'm supposed to go.

200
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,500
Sweetheart, college is a good place to
go to figure out what you want to do

201
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,500
your life.

202
00:12:03,199 --> 00:12:07,780
On the other hand, people like Mark
Twain and Abraham Lincoln never went to

203
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:10,580
college. They learned what they needed
from living life.

204
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:14,600
Maybe you're right.

205
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,500
Maybe college is a bad idea right now.

206
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:22,300
I'm so glad you're here, Nonny. It
always makes me feel better to talk

207
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,300
out with you.

208
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,100
Making him wait will only increase his
desire.

209
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:42,520
Honey, at my age, increased desire could
mean a stroke.

210
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,080
Hey, you know what? Mom stopped singing.

211
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,300
Yeah. Something wrong?

212
00:12:48,740 --> 00:12:51,300
I mean, she's been a little aloof the
past couple hours.

213
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,600
I don't know, but I'm not taking any
chances.

214
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,160
I'm getting out of here before she
starts singing Everything's Coming Up

215
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,160
again.

216
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,420
Hello, Mother.

217
00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:02,870
Hello, Zoe.

218
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,470
Mother. Goodbye, Zoe.

219
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:07,670
Well, are you ready?

220
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:11,150
Mommy? As ready as I'll ever be.

221
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,290
Pumpkin.

222
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:15,550
I'm just going to freshen up. I'll be
right back.

223
00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:21,270
Listen, Richard, I've got to tell you
something. I know.

224
00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,330
You're not her mother.

225
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,390
What gave it away?

226
00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:28,890
Well, I think it was, um...

227
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:31,800
Well,

228
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,900
maybe we should tell her when she gets
out. Oh, no, no, no. We could have so

229
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,180
much more fun with this.

230
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:41,860
Oh, I like you.

231
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,020
Shall we?

232
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,640
Marianne, sweetheart, what's with the
outfit?

233
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:51,160
My skirt wasn't pulled up that high when
I gave birth to you.

234
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,000
It was so funny.

235
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:00,500
Too real. Pull it back.

236
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,080
It's too late.

237
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,760
I was busy. Shoot me.

238
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:09,020
Your mother's already gone and I have to
leave for my date. I needed you an hour

239
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:12,840
ago. Sybil, this may come as a surprise
to you, but when I leave your house, I

240
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:13,840
don't go into a holding tank.

241
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:17,180
I don't dematerialize until I'm summoned
back to the Sybil world.

242
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,180
Are you done? Because I was talking.

243
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:27,060
Before Ruth talked to her, Zoe was this
close to college, Ira.

244
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,900
I could smell the ivy.

245
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:32,300
Okay. I agree.

246
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,340
My mother shouldn't have meddled. But I
didn't want to say anything because

247
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,800
she's your mother and so is your
daughter and you need to be a part of

248
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,800
let me do all the talking.

249
00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:43,980
I'll come by in the morning. No, no, no.
I want to deal with this tonight. I

250
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:45,980
love Ruth and I want to get past being
mad at her.

251
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,020
So you be here when I get back.

252
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:49,459
Get back?

253
00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:50,460
From your date?

254
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:54,260
Hey, why don't we drive you kids? That
way you two can make out in the back

255
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,260
seat.

256
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,420
Listen, I'll make it an early night.
I'll meet you back here at 10 o 'clock.

257
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,280
I'm sorry. I was just worried about Zoe.
I never meant that you didn't have a

258
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,840
life. Don't worry about it.

259
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,460
No, I don't know.

260
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,780
Maybe I do take you for granted.

261
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,660
But I don't think that you just
disappear when I'm not looking at you.

262
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,160
Of course, I have no proof of that.

263
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,260
But I'll take your word for it, vapor
boy.

264
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,500
Being a high school gym teacher may not
seem like much, but I gotta tell you,

265
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,120
Sybil, I really feel like I'm making a
difference with those kids.

266
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:37,300
Well, that's enough about me. I mean,
you're the one who leads an interesting

267
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,640
life, and I want to hear all about it.

268
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,440
I'm so glad you decided to have dinner
with me tonight.

269
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,300
I've run kind of a losing streak with
women for, what, two years?

270
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:57,880
Three years?

271
00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,460
That's a hell of a long time.

272
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,740
Enjoying that spaghetti, sir?

273
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,120
Thought so.

274
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,620
I brought you a few extra napkins.

275
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,180
is gone now.

276
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:45,480
Sybil, I really think you're the woman
I've been looking for my entire life.

277
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:56,060
So, a cup of coffee sure would hit the
spot right now.

278
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:04,400
I don't think I'll be needing any.

279
00:17:05,819 --> 00:17:06,819
Listen, Cameron.

280
00:17:07,099 --> 00:17:09,680
Oh, man, I know where this... going. I
don't get it. What's wrong with me?

281
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,480
Look, you're a really nice guy, and I'm
sure there's somebody out there for you,

282
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,940
but just not me.

283
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,200
I'm sorry.

284
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,380
Are you absolutely sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
I'm really sorry.

285
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,480
Good night.

286
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,220
Hey, wait a minute. You got that book.

287
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,940
This is one of the rules, right? Like
play hard to get or something?

288
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,200
Well, you hooked me, baby, so reel me
in.

289
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:48,760
I'll call you in a couple of days.

290
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,040
Hey, next time we'll do Chinese.

291
00:17:56,860 --> 00:18:02,300
I was here first.

292
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,440
It's not eavesdropping if I was here
first.

293
00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:08,020
I hope that was the worst date of my
life.

294
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,880
I have spaghetti in my hair and I didn't
even eat.

295
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,380
That guy won't take no for an answer.

296
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,320
Ten to one, that's how he lost his
teeth.

297
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:27,720
I passed your date on the way in.

298
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:29,700
Nice looking fellow.

299
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:31,300
Beautiful smile.

300
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,160
Ma, we've got to talk.

301
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:36,940
Something wrong?

302
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,810
Well, it's a college thing with Zoe.

303
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:42,590
We'd really like her to go, and she was
finally on the verge of doing it when...

304
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:44,170
I talked her out of it.

305
00:18:44,610 --> 00:18:46,850
Ruth, I know it wasn't intentional.

306
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:50,390
It's just that Zoe really looks up to
you. I see.

307
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:53,590
She's your kid. I respect that.

308
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:55,910
Next time, I'll be more careful.

309
00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:57,450
Thank you.

310
00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:03,610
And peace returns to Sybil World.

311
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,030
Well, not quite. We still have to talk
to Zoe.

312
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,670
Right now, I'm going to go have a cup of
tea with your mother, tell her about my

313
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:11,730
date, and trash men in general.

314
00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:14,990
Want to come?

315
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:19,190
No, no, no. Thank you. I've got some
glass at home I haven't finished chewing

316
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:20,190
yet.

317
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:21,729
Good night.

318
00:19:21,730 --> 00:19:22,730
Good night.

319
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,240
I didn't mean to upset you. It was just
something we felt we had to say.

320
00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:36,920
It's not that, honey.

321
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:44,720
It's just that whenever I come here,
it's you and me and Ira and Zoe like

322
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:45,720
a family.

323
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,160
Seeing you with that other man, well, it
kind of upset me.

324
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,120
You should try watching him eat.

325
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,250
Ira and I have a very successful
divorce.

326
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:07,130
It works better than a lot of marriages.

327
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,450
I know, darling.

328
00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:12,430
Your divorce is the envy of my canasta
game.

329
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:18,570
Don't worry. Ira's a great guy. He's
going to find somebody.

330
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:23,170
Whether he does or he doesn't, I'll
always be his mother.

331
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:25,470
How about you?

332
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:30,410
You're the closest thing to a daughter
I've ever had.

333
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,080
If you find a new husband, you find a
new mother -in -law.

334
00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:38,380
Ruth, come on.

335
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,960
Nothing's ever going to change the way I
feel about you.

336
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,180
I mean, give me that face. I've got to
have that face.

337
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:50,619
Thanks, honey.

338
00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:51,740
But I don't kid myself.

339
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,520
You are never going to lose me.

340
00:20:56,180 --> 00:20:57,180
Besides...

341
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,000
Statistics show that a woman my age has
a better chance of falling headfirst

342
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,520
into a wood chipper than finding Mr.
Right.

343
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,260
That's very sweet.

344
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,020
But with you, I think the odds are a
little better.

345
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,260
Anyway, I guess I won't worry about it
until it happens.

346
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,900
Oh, and I want to show you something.

347
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:24,720
Come here.

348
00:21:28,909 --> 00:21:31,310
You gotta put some thumb into it.

349
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:34,390
Ow!

350
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:47,070
Thank you for being your usual,
wonderful, understanding self.

351
00:21:47,430 --> 00:21:52,330
Well, thank you for being your usual,
unpredictable, exciting, adorably insane

352
00:21:52,330 --> 00:21:53,330
self.

353
00:21:54,410 --> 00:21:55,570
Oh, Richard.

354
00:21:55,950 --> 00:21:56,970
And remember,

355
00:21:58,380 --> 00:22:01,780
It's you I care about, no matter what
your family's like.

356
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,540
Excuse me. You have a phone call. Betty
White.

357
00:22:06,820 --> 00:22:09,480
The Betty White? I love her.

358
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:13,800
Aunt Betty.