1 00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:15,820 Right. 2 00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:29,460 Who the hell are you? 3 00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:32,580 Oh, hi! Hello. I'm Will. I'm the new clubhouse attendant. 4 00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:34,840 No, you're not. I'm the clubhouse attendant. 5 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,340 Hey, Higgins, where are you? 6 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:37,520 Ted, what the fuck's going on? 7 00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,220 I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out myself. 8 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,340 -Figure what out? Have I been sacked? -Has he been fired? 9 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:42,930 I don't know anything about this, Ted. 10 00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:44,020 -There you are. -There you are. 11 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:45,890 -Is this because I called Isaac a pussy? -I don't know-- 12 00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:46,980 Good morning, everyone. 13 00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:49,560 You shrew. You did this, didn't you? 14 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,070 Why so hostile, Nathan? 15 00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:52,400 Right, I'll tell you why-- 16 00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:53,940 You know my name? 17 00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:56,580 Well, I had to spell it correctly for your contract. 18 00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:59,910 Nate-dawg, you haven't been fired. It's worse. 19 00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:02,160 You've been promoted. 20 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:14,340 Nate! Nate! Nate! 21 00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:30,190 Nathan Shelley, I present to you this whistle. 22 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,270 But it is sad. Do you know why? 23 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,860 -No. -Because it has never been blown. 24 00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:36,570 Is that the same reason why Colin's sad? 25 00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:42,910 By the power vested in me by the Associative Football Club of Richmond, 26 00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:45,830 I now pronounce you Coach Nate. 27 00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:47,870 Thanks a lot. Thank you. 28 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,130 No, no! Not inside. 29 00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:52,210 Sorry. Sorry. 30 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,610 It got confusing, 'cause they don't call it jock itch here. 31 00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:18,150 So you didn't know what spray to buy? 32 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,660 -Yeah. -Yeah. What'd you go with? 33 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:20,740 Mr Muscle. 34 00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:22,110 Huh. 35 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,330 Hey, Roy. 36 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:27,330 Not sure if you know this, but the rules say you gotta pick a new captain. 37 00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:28,410 Oh. 38 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,250 No, sir. You're my captain. That's the rule. 39 00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:36,250 No. The captain has to be on the pitch. That's the rule. 40 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,260 I say that the current captain has to pick the new captain. 41 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:41,840 That's my new rule. 42 00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:43,220 Don't want to. 43 00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,300 Well, you have to. 44 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,930 -I decline. -I insist. 45 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,600 Can't make me. 46 00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:53,780 Roy Kent, until you choose your successor, 47 00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:58,280 your duties as captain of this squad remain unfulfilled. 48 00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:02,150 This is why it's hard to love you. 49 00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:05,950 You heard it, right? 50 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,830 He loves you. 51 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,080 All right, gang. Here's the unskinny bop. 52 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,410 Manchester City is coming into our house for the final match, 53 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,250 but preparation-wise, we gonna treat it like it's any other game. 54 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:18,970 But it's not just any other game. We could get relegated. 55 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:22,010 We got relegated when I was at Cardiff. It's my family's team. 56 00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:23,800 My nana never spoke to me after that. 57 00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:25,560 She just left me a box of her shit in her will. 58 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,810 Yeah, and when clubs go down, teams get broken up. 59 00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:30,270 Coach, do they not have relegation in America? 60 00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:31,690 Oh, no, no, no. 61 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:33,900 So what happens to all the shit teams at the end of the season? 62 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,610 They play out the rest of the schedule, 63 00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:37,780 going through the motions in meaningless games 64 00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:39,900 contested in lifeless, half-empty stadiums, 65 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:41,650 and everyone's pretty much fine with that. 66 00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:44,080 -That sound about right, Coach? -Yeah, it's dumb. 67 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,780 All right. Now, Coach Nate-- 68 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:48,040 No, no, no. 69 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,540 -Not-- No, not here. -Not inside. 70 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,160 I was saying, now Coach Nate has a video he wants to show. 71 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:53,460 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 72 00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:59,050 Okay. So, I thought you'd all find this motivational. 73 00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:00,590 All right. 74 00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,050 Amigo Jamie. 75 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:04,720 Clearly no barbers in Manchester. 76 00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:08,800 Well, I'd never say a bad word about me old club... 77 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:12,940 even though I did carry them through every match. 78 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,560 But they're good lads. 79 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,470 Apart from Roy Kent. He is a knob. 80 00:04:17,270 --> 00:04:21,020 You know, and it's nice to have a real manager like Pep, 81 00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:22,820 instead of that American rodeo clown. 82 00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:26,860 You know, Lasso sent me away, now they're facing the drop. 83 00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:29,290 Sunday, I get to put the final nail in the ashes. 84 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,290 Instant caramel, it's gonna get ya. 85 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:35,460 Oops, innit? 86 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:36,420 Well said. 87 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,880 All right, let's go climb that mountain! 88 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,300 Okay, so if the Premier League is the best, 89 00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,550 then what's the league called right below it? 90 00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,130 The Championship. 91 00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:48,430 Now, hold on one second. So if you come in last place in the Premier League, 92 00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,100 you get to play in the Championship? 93 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,390 They also invented irony. 94 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:54,850 Man, this town has got a weird way with words, don't it? 95 00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:57,770 I mean, come on, y'all. It's 2020. Let's just call 'em cigarettes. 96 00:04:57,850 --> 00:04:59,850 -Oh, God, yeah. -You know what I mean? 97 00:05:00,570 --> 00:05:01,780 Hey. How you doing, fellas? 98 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,650 We just wanted to say thanks. 99 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:06,160 Yeah, we know you did your best. 100 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,080 Even though your best is still shit. 101 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,080 -Baz. -Oh, come on, now. 102 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,500 You're acting like we lost the game already, yeah? 103 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,210 Why don't you have a little hope? 104 00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:19,370 Aw, Ted. Haven't you lived here long enough to realize? 105 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,540 It's the hope that kills you. 106 00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:28,010 Why don't you text Nate? We got a little work to do tonight, huh? 107 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:33,760 Okay, come on. We got this. Look, we win, we're in, okay? 108 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:36,850 There is a scenario where Crystal Palace beat Norwich by six goals, 109 00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:38,680 and we avoid relegation with just a tie. 110 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,860 No, no, no. Nope. Sorry. 111 00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,230 No. I hate ties, Nate. 112 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,610 How many times I gotta tell you that? They ain't natural, all right? 113 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,940 If God wanted games to end in a tie, 114 00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:48,780 she wouldn't have invented numbers, all right? 115 00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:50,900 Come on, guys. Let's fire up. Let's go. 116 00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:53,780 For the love of Meghan Markle, do not blow that whistle again, Nate. I swear. 117 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,160 -Sorry. -I got neighbors upstairs, 118 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,780 and they will just start stomping away. Okay? 119 00:05:57,870 --> 00:06:00,250 Come on. Tell me how we beat Manchester City. 120 00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:02,420 -We cannot beat Manchester City. -Dang it, Nate! 121 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,130 That is not what I want to hear from my assistant coach on his first day. 122 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,380 It is hopeless. 123 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:10,510 Oh, I'm sorry. It's hopeless? 124 00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:11,970 -Yeah. -Yeah? 125 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,190 Quick question. Are those the only clothes you own? 126 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,120 This? No, I got three of these. 127 00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:36,950 That ring a bell, Nate? That ring a very large bell in your head? 128 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,580 You had that hanging in your home? 129 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,250 I got a ton of these hanging up in here. This one's from the bathroom mirror. 130 00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:44,120 It's the first thing I see every morning, and it's the last thing I see at night 131 00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:45,880 when I rationalize being too tired to floss. 132 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:49,380 Belief can't score goals, Coach. 133 00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:51,060 Well, hello, Nelson. 134 00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:53,300 Let me introduce you to another Nelson right here. 135 00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:57,440 I think you two will hit it off just fine, 'cause you're both so damn pessimistic! 136 00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,600 Sorry, Ms. Shipley! 137 00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:04,110 I believe the gentleman is suggesting that we are a pair of Negative Nellies. 138 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,570 Oh, right. 139 00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:07,270 Jackpot. 140 00:07:08,860 --> 00:07:11,280 Morning, boss. Here you are. 141 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:16,360 Oh. Ted. I sense you're carrying around something today besides biscuits. 142 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:18,040 Good eye, small fry. 143 00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:23,590 I hate to say it, Rebecca, 144 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:27,090 but I think your football club might have been better off with a soccer coach. 145 00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:28,300 Where's this coming from? 146 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:30,510 Look, if we do end up losing on Sunday, 147 00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:33,470 you just go ahead and do whatever you think is best for the future of this club, 148 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,550 you understand? 149 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,230 Even if that means this guy's gotta go... 150 00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:41,260 You know, you put that thing, and just... You know, whatever you got. 151 00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:43,060 Whatever you wanna do. I mean, don't really murder me, 152 00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:45,850 but, you know, just... All that. You get what I'm getting at? 153 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:47,610 -Fire me. You get the gist. Yeah. -Okay. Okay. 154 00:07:47,690 --> 00:07:49,940 So you think you're not a "proper" football manager. 155 00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:52,990 Someone who's never played the game before, or knows the rules. 156 00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,030 No, I don't know jack diddly about any of it. 157 00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:58,160 But who cares? There's a great saying in Dutch football. 158 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,490 Oh, I don't speak Dutch. 159 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,410 That's why I was going to tell you in English. 160 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,790 Perfect. Lay it on me. 161 00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:05,620 "Every disadvantage has its advantage." 162 00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:07,130 Ooh, I like that. 163 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:08,840 Sure, you don't know what you're doing, 164 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,170 but doesn't that mean that you see the game in a different way 165 00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,010 than any other football manager? 166 00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:17,890 And shouldn't that empower you to cause complete and utter confusion? 167 00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:22,260 Cause confusion or create chaos. 168 00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:25,390 Yep. Yes, it is. Thanks, boss. 169 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:30,940 I'm fine. 170 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:32,110 Oh, my God. 171 00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:34,610 The chaos has already begun. 172 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,900 All right, gentlemen. School is in session. 173 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:41,120 And today's lesson is "trick plays." 174 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,830 At least, that's what we call 'em back home. 175 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,950 -What do they call 'em here again? -Elaborate set pieces. 176 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,330 Yeah, we gonna stick with "trick plays." That's a lot more fun. 177 00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,210 Now, the idea behind every trick play 178 00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:54,550 is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. 179 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:57,220 Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii. 180 00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,890 So, I want y'all to think about every single trick play you have ever run 181 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:03,260 your entire time playing this sport. Anybody got one? 182 00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:04,350 Yeah, Dani, what you got? 183 00:09:04,430 --> 00:09:06,890 When I played for Tigres, we had a great set piece. 184 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,480 -Did it have a name? -"The Sandman." 185 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,650 Yeah. Now we're cooking. "The Sandman." 186 00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:13,400 We're gonna learn that play today. Who else got one? 187 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,940 -"Pepper Shakers." -"Pepper Shakers"? 188 00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:16,370 Yeah, plural. Gotta be two. 189 00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:17,580 "Beckham's Todger." 190 00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,410 Beckham, I know. Todger, I don't know. 191 00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,080 -It's dirty. -Okay. 192 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,250 "Midnight Poutine." 193 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:24,000 -Poutine? -That's not dirty. 194 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,790 It's just super Canadian. 195 00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:27,910 -"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." -Oh, with Dick Van Dyke. 196 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,750 The owner of one of the most authentic English accents in the history of cinema. 197 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,090 -What do you got? -"The Broken Tap." 198 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:35,210 All right. That's not a complaint, that's an actual play name? 199 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:37,430 Think Man City will leak a lot of goals from it. 200 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,220 Whoa! 201 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,510 Oh. Nice. Yeah? 202 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,850 -"Loki's Toboggan." -"The Upside-Down Taxi." 203 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,100 -"Hadrian's Wall." -"Dirty Martini." 204 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:48,020 Oh, I'd love to run that play three times right now. I love it. 205 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,980 Do me a favor and toss "Lasso Special" up there 206 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,230 just for the heck of it too. 207 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:52,900 All right, guys. Tell you right now, 208 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:55,940 we're gonna go out there, and we're gonna learn a bunch of these plays, you hear? 209 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:59,870 Come Sunday, we're gonna hit Man City with the chaos hammer! 210 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,990 -Yeah! -Let's go! 211 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,590 No. Sam, not wax. 212 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:11,660 -Ah, okay. -Pomade. Pomade. 213 00:10:12,790 --> 00:10:15,460 Yo, Jamie Tartt. It's you, yeah? 214 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,250 Let me get an ussie. 215 00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:19,510 A what? 216 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,010 Oh. 217 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,680 Wicked. 218 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,800 I can't believe you got dumped by Richmond. 219 00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:28,350 Super embarrassing for you, yeah? 220 00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:31,140 Well, I got fucked by Lasso. So... 221 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,820 He likes you now though. He talked about you on telly, didn't he? 222 00:10:34,690 --> 00:10:36,780 What are you on about, you posh twat? 223 00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:40,700 Trent Crimm, The Independent. Any bad blood between you and Jamie Tartt? 224 00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:43,160 Jamie? No. That's a special young man right there. 225 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,030 Got talent for days, works hard, 226 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,540 and he's got a jawline like the White Cliffs of Dover. 227 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,960 I'm always rootin' for him. 228 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,880 -What? -Classic mind games, innit? 229 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,760 Right. You can fuck off. 230 00:10:53,830 --> 00:10:55,250 Whoa! 231 00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,600 You're fucking joking. 232 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,650 Oh, yeah, Roy, Jamie's coming over. 233 00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:17,190 Oh, is he? Shall I make scones? 234 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,360 I don't like scones. 235 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,150 I'm not making scones, you idiot. 236 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,120 Good, 'cause I don't even like 'em. 237 00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,120 What's that? 238 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,410 I made you coffee. 239 00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:28,790 Well, then, what's this? 240 00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:30,000 I brought you coffee. 241 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:31,540 Oh. 242 00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,220 All right, Jamie, what was it that you wanted to talk about? 243 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,510 Not gonna say it in front of this dry old shit. 244 00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:43,930 Why? He won't say anything. Will you? 245 00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:47,390 Missed. 246 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:50,810 Ted Lasso is trying to play fucking mind games with me. 247 00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,640 Saying nice shit about me on the telly. Trying to get in my head. 248 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:56,070 -He does like you. -You're as full of shit as he is. 249 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,190 Oi. Mind your fucking manners. 250 00:11:58,270 --> 00:11:59,400 All right, RoboCop. 251 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,730 Jamie, not everyone in your life is out to get you. 252 00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:04,320 I am. 253 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,660 What? Thought you respected honesty. 254 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:08,910 I do. 255 00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:12,670 Oh, that is disgusting. 256 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:16,550 Look, Keeley. When you're done feeding mushy peas to this old fart, 257 00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:17,840 then you give me a call. 258 00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:21,750 Look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Enjoy the view from the bench. 259 00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:28,300 What? 260 00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:30,480 Well, now I want mushy peas. 261 00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:35,320 Dad, when I see you coach soccer on TV, 262 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:38,230 it doesn't look like you're doing anything. 263 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:41,980 Well, it's 'cause I'm not. All right? 264 00:12:42,070 --> 00:12:44,280 It ain't like being a football coach back home, kiddo. 265 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,900 I got a lot less control, 'cause once the game gets going, 266 00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:48,530 I can't tell my fellas what to do. 267 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,830 So I just gotta hope that everything I've been trying to teach 'em 268 00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:52,370 made some sort of impact on 'em, 269 00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:55,620 and that they'll make the right decisions when they're out there on their own. 270 00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,050 You know, it's kind of like being a dad, I guess, huh? 271 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,340 How much did you get of that before you checked out? 272 00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:04,800 -I drew a robot. -That's cool, bud. 273 00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:08,590 The Richmond faithful gather on a crucial night. 274 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,980 Win and they stay up. Lose and they go down. 275 00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:15,190 They come here full of hope, but as they know all too well, 276 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:16,860 it's the hope that kills you. 277 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:17,940 Oh, this sport. 278 00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,610 I'd forgotten how stressful it is when you actually give a shit. 279 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:23,650 I have a confession to make. 280 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:26,240 I've never really cared about football. 281 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,820 I know. I know it sounds insane, but I know how to act at a match. 282 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,910 "Referee!" 283 00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:34,420 "Offside, you turnip!" 284 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,540 -God, you're awful. -You believed me. 285 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:40,210 It's just that my heart has never really been in it, you know? 286 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,050 But today... 287 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,590 today, I care very much. 288 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:53,850 Arlo White here, with former England international, Chris Powell, 289 00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:56,680 live from the Dogtrack, Nelson Road Stadium, 290 00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:58,480 the home of AFC Richmond, 291 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,810 who tonight host the mighty Manchester City. 292 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:02,190 Yoo-hoo! You like my new shirt? 293 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,530 Well, look at you. 294 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,740 It's David meets Goliath. 295 00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:09,570 If David forgot to put his stone in his slingshot, Arlo. 296 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:10,660 These are on me. 297 00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:12,120 Thanks, Mae. 298 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,120 -Good luck group hug? -No. 299 00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:18,000 -Richmond. -Richmond. 300 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,960 Okay, here we are. Family Higgins. 301 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:27,340 This is Terry, Kris, Dana, Stevie. 302 00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:30,590 How many kids do you have, Higgins? Jesus Christ. 303 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,850 And this is our eldest, Lindsay. 304 00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:33,930 Good evening. 305 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,720 Forgive me, Father. 306 00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:38,730 Don't worry. He's a cool priest. 307 00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,400 When your parents have you out of wedlock, 308 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,440 it allows you space to explore life's little gray areas. 309 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,610 -Come on, Richmond! -Come on! 310 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,690 With the Richmond fans in full voice, Chris, 311 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:52,580 how do the players in the locker room feel to be on the brink of relegation? 312 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,450 It's a tremendous amount of pressure, Arlo. 313 00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:59,170 To get the result they need, it will have to start with veteran leadership. 314 00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,750 Isaac. 315 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,590 Yeah? 316 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,590 Never stop breaking TVs. 317 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,190 All right, now, fellas. Hey, let's focus up, huh? 318 00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:37,620 So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. 319 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,710 "It's the hope that kills you." 320 00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:43,710 Y'all know that? 321 00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,710 I disagree, you know? 322 00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:51,510 I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. 323 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:54,680 See, I believe in hope. 324 00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:57,470 I believe in belief. 325 00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:03,400 Now, where I'm from, we got a saying too, yeah? 326 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,980 A question, actually. 327 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,940 "Do you believe in miracles?" 328 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,900 Now, I don't need y'all to answer that question for me... 329 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,120 but I do want you to answer that question for yourselves. 330 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,200 Right now. 331 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,670 Do you believe in miracles? 332 00:16:26,130 --> 00:16:27,420 And if you do... 333 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,890 then I want y'all to circle up with me right now. Come on. Let's go. 334 00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:34,760 Get 'em in here. 335 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,140 All right, Captain. Let 'em know. 336 00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:46,430 Let's go, Skipper, let's go. 337 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,940 All right, Captain. Let 'em know. 338 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:51,070 Richmond on 12. 339 00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:55,280 One, two, three, 340 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:59,200 four, five, six, 341 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,580 seven, nine, ten, eleven, twelve! 342 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,410 Richmond! 343 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,090 Go Richmond! 344 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,380 Let's go! 345 00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,550 Is that miracle thing from a movie or real life? 346 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:12,630 Both. 347 00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:15,880 Among the many subplots, the return of Jamie Tartt, 348 00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:18,140 who enjoyed a successful loan period here, 349 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:23,020 but had an infamous on-pitch dustup with Roy Kent, who is not starting today. 350 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,310 I really can't remember 351 00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,640 seeing Roy Kent on the bench for a big match. 352 00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:29,320 Hey, Jamie! Good luck! 353 00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:31,980 Fucking mind games. 354 00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:34,700 It's Richmond versus Manchester City. 355 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:36,120 And we're off. 356 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,450 Here we go. 357 00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:41,910 Hendrick takes. Outside for Corwin. 358 00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:43,700 Oh, and he puts Tartt through on goal. 359 00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:45,580 No, no, no. 360 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,370 He has a man open to his left. 361 00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,420 But he takes it himself! 362 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,580 And Zoreaux is there. 363 00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,420 Nice stop! 364 00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:56,510 That's a solid save from Zorro. 365 00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:58,340 Yeah, Chris. It's pronounced "Zoreaux." 366 00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:02,600 Thirty minutes gone. Richmond with an opportunity here on the counterattack. 367 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,390 Obisanya with an inch-perfect through ball. 368 00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:07,810 Winchester was clearly offside. 369 00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,180 Come on, now! 370 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:11,230 -Explain to me how that's offsides. -What? 371 00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,730 No, I'm serious. How is that offside? I don't understand that yet. You-- 372 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,360 And here comes Lasso's assistant coach to review their tactics. 373 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,120 What chess moves do they have in store? 374 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,370 When the vinegar was next to the Heineken, they weren't offside. 375 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:23,990 It's not when the vinegar catches the ball, 376 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,670 it's when ketchup passes the ball. 377 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,040 -Yes, I understand now. -Okay. 378 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,540 A shot from Dixon-- Pushed over the bar. 379 00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:30,620 Corner, corner! 380 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,920 Agony for Dixon, but a corner for Richmond. 381 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,210 Come on, Richmond! 382 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,760 Corner kick, corner kick. 383 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,970 -Go for the Sandman. Call Sandman. -What? Sandman. 384 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,430 Sandman! Guys, the Sandman! 385 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,430 -Sandman! -Here we go. 386 00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:44,010 Rojas to take the corner. 387 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,730 It's a dummy. Oh, and another one. What is this? 388 00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:49,350 Dixon again! 389 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,190 No! Hamlin saves with his foot. 390 00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:52,480 Shit. 391 00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:56,520 Ooh, baby, the Sandman almost rocked 'em to sleep right there. 392 00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:59,610 -A bit of trickery from Ted Lasso. -Haven't seen that one before. 393 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,870 Nice move though. Nice move. 394 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,450 And that's halftime. The score is 0-0. 395 00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:09,450 Shockingly, Richmond are still in this, 396 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:12,630 thanks to the stellar play of Zoreaux in goal. 397 00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,340 Okay, well, you got-- It's Reynolds. 398 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,210 No, you got to shore up your defense. You have to-- 399 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,340 Okay, you know what? Never mind. I'm just gonna go with my gut. 400 00:19:18,420 --> 00:19:19,880 Somebody check the Crystal Palace score. 401 00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,560 Hey, no. No, no, no. Absolutely not. 402 00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:24,510 I don't want to hear about any other game going on any other place. 403 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,230 Okay? Look, we are not playing for a tie. 404 00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:29,190 Ain't nobody here gonna kiss their sister. 405 00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:31,020 What? 406 00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:35,610 Which is an American phrase that I'm now realizing does not exist here, 407 00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:37,280 and that's good, 'cause it's creepy, 408 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,280 and I hate it myself, I don't know why I said it. 409 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,570 I think it's just the adrenaline, the nerves and all that. 410 00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:43,650 But we are playing for a win. 411 00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,950 Win and in. You hear? 412 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:49,370 -I can't hear your nods. Do you hear me? -Yes, Coach. 413 00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:51,950 Okay, good. All right. Roy, you are starting the second half. 414 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,540 Go ahead and start warming up. Let's go. 415 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:54,870 Gentlemen, follow me. 416 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,090 And here comes Roy Kent. 417 00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,920 Roy-o! 418 00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:07,470 A surprising move from Lasso. 419 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,850 Manchester City's speed is causing Richmond problems, 420 00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:14,270 and he brings on Roy Kent, who is, to be polite, very slow. 421 00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:17,020 That's 'cause he's a fucking octogenarian. Look at him. 422 00:20:17,110 --> 00:20:19,070 City with a real opportunity here. 423 00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,860 Scharfenberg into the box. 424 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,610 Oh, it's a penalty against Richmond. 425 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,620 -How? How? -He didn't touch him! 426 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:29,080 Zoreaux in position. Hendrick to take. 427 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,630 He scores. 428 00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:38,920 City finally get past Zoreaux, and it's 1-0. 429 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,960 It's the goal that's been coming. 430 00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:44,680 City take the lead, and the Dogtrack falls silent. 431 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,680 We're only one goal down. There's still a chance. Come on, Richmond! 432 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,180 I love you when you give a shit. 433 00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:52,100 Go, Richmond! 434 00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:54,270 Jamie Tartt with the breakaway. 435 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:57,190 If he scores here, it could be curtains for Richmond. 436 00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,400 No one can catch him. 437 00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:01,490 Go, Roy, go! 438 00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:07,990 Hold on. Can you believe it? It's Kent! 439 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,880 Yeah! Attaboy, Roy! 440 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,250 Roy! Roy! 441 00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:18,960 Once again, the tortoise has stopped the hare. 442 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,380 That's how you put him down, Roy! 443 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,970 What's the matter? 444 00:21:26,630 --> 00:21:27,670 He's not getting up. 445 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,720 Now this looks serious. 446 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,180 It was a fair tackle on Tartt, but Kent may have paid the price. 447 00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:35,270 -And they're sending out the physio. -Get up, Roy! 448 00:21:35,350 --> 00:21:37,190 Roy. Roy, are you okay? 449 00:21:37,270 --> 00:21:40,190 Fuck. I fucked my knee. 450 00:21:40,270 --> 00:21:43,060 -Want me to call for the stretcher, Roy? -No, just help me up. 451 00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:46,150 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there... 452 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,620 What the fuck are you doing? 453 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,290 ...he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent! 454 00:21:49,370 --> 00:21:50,370 Listen. 455 00:21:50,450 --> 00:21:53,330 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, 456 00:21:53,410 --> 00:21:55,450 he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent! 457 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,840 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, 458 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:03,340 he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 459 00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:06,170 He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where. 460 00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:07,470 Roy Kent! 461 00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:11,970 Well, we apologize for the fruity language as the crowd serenades Roy Kent 462 00:22:12,050 --> 00:22:15,890 with a song that's echoed through the Premier League for more than a decade. 463 00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:18,400 He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where... 464 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,860 And he's getting up. 465 00:22:19,940 --> 00:22:22,320 Roy Kent! 466 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,650 Roy Kent will never leave on a stretcher. 467 00:22:26,150 --> 00:22:32,280 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where! Roy Kent! 468 00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:33,790 Roy Kent! 469 00:22:34,290 --> 00:22:36,960 He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where! 470 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,380 Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 471 00:22:40,830 --> 00:22:43,920 As Kent comes off, he claps the fans in gratitude. 472 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,500 Kent has been a fan favorite 473 00:22:45,590 --> 00:22:48,840 because he always left everything he had out on the pitch, 474 00:22:48,930 --> 00:22:50,430 and he did so tonight. 475 00:22:54,430 --> 00:22:57,770 Chris, does this almost feel like a farewell to you? 476 00:22:59,690 --> 00:23:01,230 Well, you have to wonder, Arlo. 477 00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:03,850 At his age, with that injury... 478 00:23:04,770 --> 00:23:06,440 Personally, I'm sorry to say, 479 00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:10,780 I think this may be the last time we ever see the great Roy Kent lace up his boots. 480 00:23:28,510 --> 00:23:30,430 You're not allowed back here during a game. 481 00:23:35,050 --> 00:23:36,640 I told you, you have to get out. 482 00:23:39,060 --> 00:23:41,100 I mean it. Stay the fuck away from me. 483 00:24:13,470 --> 00:24:15,350 What the heck is going on-- 484 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:18,930 That's the sound of 26,000 people checking mobiles. 485 00:24:23,350 --> 00:24:25,560 Oh, my God. Palace won 6-0. 486 00:24:26,190 --> 00:24:27,360 But then that means... 487 00:24:28,230 --> 00:24:29,520 All we need is a tie. 488 00:24:29,610 --> 00:24:32,360 -We just need a tie, boys! -We just need a tie! 489 00:24:32,450 --> 00:24:33,990 Come on! Let's go! 490 00:24:34,660 --> 00:24:35,700 Come on, Richmond! 491 00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:37,280 Come on, Richmond! 492 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:43,540 Three minutes of added time is all that's left in Richmond's season. 493 00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:45,410 Montlaur runs left. 494 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,500 Fouled hard by Scharfenberg. 495 00:24:48,170 --> 00:24:50,260 There you go, Richard! You sell the crap outta that! 496 00:24:50,340 --> 00:24:53,550 Montlaur earns Richmond a late free kick. 497 00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:55,470 I think he's making a meal of it, Arlo. 498 00:24:55,550 --> 00:24:57,430 City players do too. 499 00:24:57,510 --> 00:25:01,220 No, Chris. He's definitely hurt. No, no, he's absolutely fine. 500 00:25:01,310 --> 00:25:02,600 Yeah! 501 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,770 Oi! Lasso Special! Lasso Special! 502 00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:08,100 Holy smokes. 503 00:25:08,650 --> 00:25:09,730 Lasso Special! 504 00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,160 Manchester City are more worried about yelling at the official 505 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,950 than they are about... whatever it is Richmond are doing. 506 00:25:15,030 --> 00:25:16,950 -Hold on, hold on. -Actually, what are they doing? 507 00:25:17,030 --> 00:25:18,990 Ref! They can't do that! What are you doing? 508 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,420 They're gonna run it. I didn't even call it. They're gonna just run it! 509 00:25:21,490 --> 00:25:24,160 I don't know what's going on here, but it looks like... 510 00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:25,960 Is this American football? 511 00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:28,750 What the fuck is that? 512 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:30,500 What's he doing? 513 00:25:30,590 --> 00:25:32,590 I've never seen anything like this. 514 00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:34,640 -Motion! -Get in line! 515 00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:37,470 Obisanya goes in motion. 516 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,680 If Richmond are trying to confuse Manchester City, 517 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,050 you have to say it's working. 518 00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:46,060 It's working on me too, Arlo. 519 00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:47,140 Blue 48! 520 00:25:47,230 --> 00:25:49,320 Is Zoreaux yelling numbers and colors? 521 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,860 Hut, hut, hut! Hike! 522 00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:53,940 One, two, three, four... 523 00:25:54,690 --> 00:25:58,030 The Richmond players fan out. City's defense is in chaos. 524 00:25:58,110 --> 00:26:02,530 And it's a Hail Mary to Obisanya, who is wide open! 525 00:26:02,620 --> 00:26:04,250 Rojas is all alone on the left. 526 00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:05,670 -Dani's onside. -Yeah, he is. 527 00:26:12,170 --> 00:26:13,510 Rojas! 528 00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:20,560 -Yes! -Yeah! 529 00:26:22,050 --> 00:26:24,600 The injury time equalizer from Dani Rojas, 530 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,520 surely enough to keep Richmond in the Premier League! 531 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,600 We got a tie! We got a tie! 532 00:26:32,690 --> 00:26:35,150 -Yeah! -We're staying in! 533 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,040 Coach! 534 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:48,170 Straight from the kickoff, City are back on the attack. 535 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,420 There he is again. Tartt loses Winchester with ease. 536 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,210 It's only him and the goalkeeper. 537 00:26:53,290 --> 00:26:54,210 No. 538 00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:58,590 Oh, he makes the extra pass. 539 00:26:58,670 --> 00:27:00,420 Hendrick buries it. 540 00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:08,270 Manchester City win, 541 00:27:08,350 --> 00:27:12,650 and AFC Richmond's time in the Premier League is over. 542 00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:40,630 We can "woulda, coulda, shoulda" all day long, 543 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,100 but that's-- it's a tough loss. It's a tough loss. 544 00:27:45,390 --> 00:27:46,640 It's over. 545 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,560 I do wanna congratulate Man City on their win though, and their coach, Pep. 546 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,350 Boy, did he look sharp tonight. Yeah, my man... 547 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:13,550 You! Do you really think I would've come all the way down to London 548 00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:15,620 to watch my son pass the ball? 549 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,590 You could've scored the winner. You're better than that, Jamie. Fuck! 550 00:28:31,230 --> 00:28:32,400 So, look, I-- 551 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,820 Oh, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah. 552 00:28:41,110 --> 00:28:43,700 Hey. Y'all played a heck of a game out there. 553 00:28:43,780 --> 00:28:47,370 We may not have won, but y'all definitely succeeded. 554 00:28:47,450 --> 00:28:50,370 I mean, you gave the champs 90 minutes of hell. 555 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,170 Zoreaux, where you at? 556 00:28:52,250 --> 00:28:54,790 That dude had more saves than a Baptist preacher. 557 00:28:54,870 --> 00:28:56,910 Give it up for Zoreaux. Yeah. 558 00:28:58,290 --> 00:29:02,460 That's right. What about Roy? Roy chased down his grandson. 559 00:29:02,550 --> 00:29:05,470 Stopped him from getting an easy one. 560 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,140 Now, look, this is a sad moment right here. For all of us. 561 00:29:12,230 --> 00:29:14,110 And there ain't nothing I can say, 562 00:29:14,190 --> 00:29:16,980 standing in front of you right now, that can take that away. 563 00:29:17,060 --> 00:29:18,900 But please do me this favor, will you? 564 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,690 Lift your heads up and look around this locker room. 565 00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:24,190 Yeah? 566 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,780 Look at everybody else in here. 567 00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:31,330 And I want you to be grateful 568 00:29:31,410 --> 00:29:36,290 that you're going through this sad moment with all these other folks. 569 00:29:37,580 --> 00:29:40,250 Because I promise you, 570 00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:42,800 there is something worse out there than being sad, 571 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,220 and that is being alone and being sad. 572 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,560 Ain't nobody in this room alone. 573 00:29:52,930 --> 00:29:56,850 Sam, do you remember what animal has the shortest memory? 574 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:58,610 A goldfish. 575 00:29:58,690 --> 00:30:00,690 That's right. It's a goldfish. 576 00:30:00,770 --> 00:30:03,230 Sam, what do you think we should all do 577 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,660 once we get done being sad and/or angry about this situation? 578 00:30:08,820 --> 00:30:10,530 I think we should all be a goldfish. 579 00:30:10,620 --> 00:30:11,620 I agree. 580 00:30:12,330 --> 00:30:14,830 Let's be sad now. Let's be sad together. 581 00:30:14,910 --> 00:30:17,000 And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish. 582 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,420 Onward. Forward. 583 00:30:33,430 --> 00:30:34,430 What do you want? 584 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:40,900 Night, Jamie. 585 00:30:43,190 --> 00:30:44,270 A love letter? 586 00:31:16,430 --> 00:31:18,430 We'll have a conversation about that. 587 00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:20,140 Hey, y'all. 588 00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:22,400 -I'll leave you two to talk. -Thank you, Leslie. 589 00:31:24,110 --> 00:31:26,200 Leslie? Is that your first name? 590 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,870 It was my mother's name. I'm what's known as a feminine junior. 591 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,530 Oh. Cool. 592 00:31:36,490 --> 00:31:37,660 Please. Take a seat. 593 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:43,960 Tea? 594 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,880 No. Tea and I are still on a lifelong hiatus, yeah. 595 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,800 I'll take a little water though, please. 596 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,180 Well, Ted. That was certainly a heartbreaking result. 597 00:31:52,260 --> 00:31:53,890 Yes, ma'am. And I've been thinking about it. 598 00:31:53,970 --> 00:31:57,270 I think it's mighty unfair that you have to fire me, so... 599 00:31:57,350 --> 00:32:00,690 If it's all the same to you, I'd like to spare you the trouble and just quit. 600 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,150 This here is my letter of resignation. 601 00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:08,230 I wrote it on the back of a takeout menu, 602 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,240 but it's in an envelope, and I signed it, so, you know, it's legit. 603 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,450 You listen to me, Coach Lasso. 604 00:32:13,530 --> 00:32:19,450 You are not going anywhere, 'cause we have work to do next season. 605 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,840 Well, okay. All right, then. 606 00:32:26,540 --> 00:32:28,790 Yeah. So, wait. Tell me this, though. 607 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,090 The teams that get relegated, they can get un-relegated, yeah? 608 00:32:32,170 --> 00:32:33,590 They can get promoted. 609 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,770 So then, next year we get ourselves a promotion, 610 00:32:35,850 --> 00:32:37,940 which looks good on any résumé. 611 00:32:38,010 --> 00:32:39,600 Then we come back to this league and... 612 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,270 we do something that no one believes we could ever do. 613 00:32:44,980 --> 00:32:46,320 Win the whole fucking thing. 614 00:32:48,770 --> 00:32:50,400 There you are. 615 00:32:53,910 --> 00:32:55,080 The bubbles. 616 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,250 I'm sorry. Did I get you?