1 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,437 Definitely still something in there. 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,138 I knew it! It's a piece of shrapnel, I can feel it. 3 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:15,081 Well, meter's saying small bronze coin, possibly Georgian, 4 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,515 but it's a bit of an iffy signal. 5 00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,382 Doctors are refusing to believe me, 6 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,182 reckon I'm making a fuss. 7 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,155 - How's it feel? - Ah, it's not too bad. 8 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,216 I was lucky I was wearing my triple weave combat protectives. 9 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,955 You were quite a way from the crater. 10 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,224 Yeah! Blew me about 40 foot. 11 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,230 Were you running? 12 00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,164 No, no, it was the blast. 13 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,065 So, when do you get out? 14 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,626 Couple of days. 15 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,639 They wanna make sure that the cuts aren't infected. 16 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,150 Well they better get the shrapnel out, 17 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,818 you can't go detecting with metal in your leg, 18 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,253 you'll get a signal every other step. 19 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,803 That's why Barry Sheen had to call it a day. 20 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:58,759 Who'd have thought, hey? 21 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,192 Mr. Health and Safety? 22 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,423 - Yeah, all right, Russ. - Of all the people. 23 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,556 Do you know what type of bomb it was? 24 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,294 Ah, it was just your basic 25 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,393 Luftwaffe FLAM C 500 incendiary, Hugh. 26 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,903 Cool. 27 00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,940 Well, there's a lesson here for everyone. 28 00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,942 Oh, what's that Russ? Don't dig up bombs? 29 00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:16,944 Don't detonate bombs. 30 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,536 He's right, you know. 31 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,945 I'm losing my touch. 32 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:22,108 It's a rookie mistake. 33 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,049 First day of metal detecting school. 34 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:26,519 I thought that was don't detect in a thunderstorm. 35 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,419 Get through a lot on that first day. 36 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,000 Perhaps it's time to hang up the old detector. 37 00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:32,619 - What? - No. 38 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,185 What's more... it may be time to hand over the presidency. 39 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,254 Really? 40 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,629 For more than a decade 41 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,726 I have shared in the turbulent history of this club. 42 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,169 I have tried to the best of my ability 43 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:47,333 to discharge those duties that were entrusted to me, 44 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:50,173 and now, having finished the work assigned me, 45 00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,543 I retire from the great theater 46 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,479 of action and bidding... 47 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,244 Hang on, 48 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,252 that's the George Washington resignation speech. 49 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,582 Doesn't matter, it's relevant. 50 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:04,057 And bidding an affectionate farewell to this august body, 51 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,754 I here offer my commission. 52 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:11,856 And take leave of all the employments of public life. 53 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,971 Thank you. Thank you. 54 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:26,404 So, who's going to take over? 55 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,312 Well, that's for you to decide. 56 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,611 But I would suggest Andy 57 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,652 as the new leader. 58 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,244 What does it involve? 59 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,949 Buying a new jar of Nescafe every three months. 60 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,184 It's more than that, Russell! 61 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,658 Every four months? 62 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:42,686 Look, there are subscriptions to collect. 63 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,197 We've got seven members. 64 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,326 There are talks and rallies to organize, 65 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,961 there are permissions to secure. 66 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,998 And I think Andy is the man to lead this club forward. 67 00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:58,046 Ah, thanks Terry, I'll certainly think about it. 68 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:01,605 Good. Now, if you don't mind, thank you all for coming, 69 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,116 but I would like to get some rest. 70 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,016 Let us know if you need anything, Terry. 71 00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:08,545 Take away those pillows; I shall need them no more. 72 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,681 Lewis Carroll. 73 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,953 Get out. 74 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,236 Um, Terry? 75 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,170 Yes, Hugh? 76 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:28,573 If they get that piece of shrapnel out... 77 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:29,837 It's yours, mate. 78 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:34,780 Thanks, Terry. Cheers. 79 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,959 But why me? 80 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,621 You're studying archaeology, 81 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,187 he sees you as legit. 82 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,359 Why would I wanna be president of the DMDC? 83 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,801 Think of the power. 84 00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:58,840 Are you serious? What power? 85 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,876 The power to lord it over Russell and Hugh, 86 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,140 the power to collect £3.50 off them every quarter. 87 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,341 No, I'm talking about the power to change the club, 88 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,975 turn it into something worthwhile. 89 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,680 You could get that bloke to be patron. 90 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,552 What bloke? 91 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,683 You know, "I have a cunning plan." 92 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,885 Sir Tony Robinson? 93 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,086 Is he a sir? 94 00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:21,789 Yeah, show some respect. 95 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:25,765 You could get fleeces with DMDC embroidered on them. 96 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:30,100 Doubt you could buy them in batches of less than 50. 97 00:04:30,171 --> 00:04:31,681 Well, you advertise, increase the membership. 98 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,264 Just to fill the fleeces? 99 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:36,970 No, to increase our clout, increase our influence. 100 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,809 The AntiquiSearchers are officially affiliated 101 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,439 with the Colchester Museum. 102 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,746 They get to be official detectorists 103 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,285 on any dig in the county. 104 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:49,289 We could be sitting on something bigger than Sutton Hoo here. 105 00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:52,815 Yeah, if we can turn our club into something more... 106 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:57,160 professional, then we could oust them from their position. 107 00:04:57,231 --> 00:05:00,668 Yeah, mount a dirty smears campaign. 108 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,761 Eww, it's just a smear campaign. 109 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,897 You're thinking of a dirty protest. 110 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,375 Whatever. Here. 111 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,607 Oh, nice. 112 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:17,345 Anyway, I need to get down there again. 113 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,444 I know, I'm working a lot this week. 114 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,988 Can't wait too long. 115 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,250 Yeah. 116 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:24,167 I'll find some time, don't go down there without me. 117 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,820 Nope, okay. 118 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,294 Becky talking to you again? 119 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,763 Just about. 120 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,959 It was just a misunderstanding, I think she was drunk. 121 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,025 Oh, didn't seem drunk. 122 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,435 No, but she was being sick the next morning, 123 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,597 that's a sure sign. 124 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,165 No, everything's fine. 125 00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:45,680 Good, so we're all up for quiz night on Friday? 126 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:46,907 Don't see why not. 127 00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:49,246 That's good, we need her geography knowledge. 128 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,944 Right, not her company and conversation. 129 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,785 Ah, just as long as she knows the longest river in Azerbaijan. 130 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,290 I'm thinking of inviting Sophie down, actually. 131 00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,589 What? 132 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,390 Whose team would she be on? 133 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,623 Ours. 134 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,256 You're allowed up to four members in a team. 135 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:09,064 But it's you, me and Becks, it's always been us. 136 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,731 You know, just the three of us, the old team, 137 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,502 that's what makes it so impressive when we win. 138 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,476 It'll only be the once. 139 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,478 I want Becky and Sophie to be friends. 140 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,447 Right, well good luck with that one, then. 141 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,507 What do you mean? 142 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,075 Well, I just think you're on thin ice, 143 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,452 could find yourself in some hot water. 144 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:33,961 But it's always been you, me and Lance, 145 00:06:34,028 --> 00:06:35,997 just the three, the old team. 146 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,032 Well, you're allowed up to four members on a team, 147 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,090 and I think you'd like her if you got to know her. 148 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,261 I don't particularly want to get to know her. 149 00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,635 - Why not? - Well, she's a floozy. 150 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,799 A floozy? I haven't heard that word in years. 151 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,105 - She's a dolly bird. - You sound like your mum. 152 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,168 Sorry, sorry, you don't sound like your mum, 153 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,737 you've never sounded like your mum, that was wrong of me. 154 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,908 I've just never heard you use words like "floozy" 155 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,474 and "dolly bird" before. 156 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,712 But anyway, the point is, 157 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,846 by saying that you don't wanna know Sophie, 158 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,083 you're basically saying that you still believe 159 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,217 something's going on between me and Sophie, 160 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,921 and by your own admission you don't believe that anymore. 161 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:11,124 Christ. 162 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,793 What is all this stuff? It weighs a ton. 163 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,427 End of term presents from the kids, mainly candles 164 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,529 and "world's best teacher" mugs. 165 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,937 Can't we dump it? 166 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,407 No, what if somebody found it? 167 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,786 They couldn't trace it back to you. 168 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,507 Hello, "world's best teacher." 169 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,104 Good point. 170 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,740 Did you go the hospital? 171 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,944 Yeah, he's fine, just cuts and bruises. 172 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,182 He's loving it, actually... Enjoying the drama. 173 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,382 He's resigned the club presidency. 174 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,359 Wow! I'll alert the media. 175 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,361 Does that mean the end of the DMDC? 176 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:42,726 No, why should it? 177 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,424 Well, who's gonna be stupid enough 178 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:47,593 to want to take over as president? 179 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,136 You're not. 180 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,899 Why not? 181 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,999 Oh, God. 182 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:59,069 What possible reason could you have for wanting to be 183 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,674 president of the Danbury Metal Detecting Club? 184 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,310 I'd say it was an ego thing, but there are only six members. 185 00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:06,786 Seven. 186 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,790 Being the glorious leader of six socially awkward geeks 187 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,485 isn't gonna boost anyone's ego. 188 00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,186 Seven. 189 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,320 Lance says we can increase membership 190 00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:17,490 and then have more power and influence 191 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,032 in the archaeological world. 192 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,797 Power and influence?! You're deluded! 193 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,772 Lance says we can ask Sir Tony Robinson to be patron. 194 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,468 - Who? - Baldrick off of "Blackadder." 195 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,273 Is he a sir? 196 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,337 Yes. 197 00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:35,144 Why would he ever agree to that? 198 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,117 Because he's a champion of archaeology and archaeologists. 199 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,383 But you're not archaeologists, you're a bunch of hobbyists. 200 00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:43,651 You are amateur metal detectors! 201 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,556 Detectorists. 202 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,322 Lance says... 203 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,207 You don't wanna hear what Lance says, do you? 204 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,494 No! 205 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,126 I just see little enough of you as it is. 206 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,797 And when I do you're either caked in mud 207 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,033 or smelling of scout hall. 208 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,804 It was the last day of term today, I'm a teacher, 209 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,970 I get a stupidly long summer holiday, 210 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,605 I wanted to go away somewhere, somewhere good, 211 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,309 somewhere with a swimming pool, 212 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,147 but we can't afford it. 213 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,744 Maybe we can go away somewhere crap instead. 214 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:16,256 Just let us find this ship burial 215 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:19,316 and I'll take you wherever you want to go. 216 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,591 - Simple as that? - Simple as that. 217 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,063 And in the meantime 218 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,566 I'll take you to the Two Brewers for quiz night. 219 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,000 Does it have a swimming pool? 220 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,901 Mm, I'm not sure. 221 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,173 Okay. 222 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,608 Sounds good. 223 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:12,336 Yeah, hello? 224 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:15,405 Uh, can't do it mate, I'm taking Mags and her mum to bingo. 225 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,917 Oh, what? I changed my shift especially. 226 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:21,581 Well, why can't her new bloke take them? 227 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,591 She uses you. She bloody does. 228 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,991 No she bloody doesn't. 229 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,224 I wanna help her. I can do tomorrow. 230 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,591 Don't worry about that! 231 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:38,969 Bishop's given us permission, it's still our land. 232 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,406 Yeah, well I'm sorry. 233 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:46,004 She asked me and I didn't feel I could let her down. 234 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,241 All right, whatever. 235 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,806 Yeah, maybe. 236 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,818 All right, see ya. 237 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,094 Hey, Sophie. 238 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,063 Guess what I've got. 239 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:07,761 Technetic's UO Tech. 240 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,860 No, second-hand. 241 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,235 Nearly new. 242 00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:13,331 Unwanted Christmas present, apparently. 243 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:14,966 So, when are we going out? 244 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,305 Ah, I dunno. 245 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,778 Lance is busy and we sort of said we wouldn't. 246 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,337 Yeah. 247 00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,008 No, I suppose it couldn't hurt. 248 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,575 All right, what time? 249 00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:28,315 All right, see you then. 250 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,095 Whoa. 251 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,693 Terry had a lucky escape. 252 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,260 Yeah. 253 00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:46,364 But at least he got an anecdote out of it. 254 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,376 Well, look at me. 255 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:50,706 Very nice. 256 00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,575 You're one of us now. 257 00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,171 Just need some camouflage. 258 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,681 Why do detectorists wear camouflage? 259 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,183 To hide from predators. 260 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,878 Of course. 261 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,387 - So what are we looking for? - Saxon king. 262 00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,788 - Sexred of these Saxons? - You got it. 263 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,189 What's he look like? 264 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,160 About yay high, beard, buried in a ship. 265 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,197 Okay. 266 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,663 So, this is your discrimination 267 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,462 that differentiates between metals, 268 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,798 so you won't get a signal when you go over iron... 269 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,770 And this here sets your ground balance. 270 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,704 Yeah, yeah, boring. Come on, let's go. 271 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,503 Whoa, slow down. 272 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,975 You gotta know these things 273 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,387 otherwise you'll spend your whole time digging holes 274 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,722 with nothing in the bottom of them. 275 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,011 Bollocks, set it to treasure and let's go get rich. 276 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,572 What happened to you? 277 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,143 What happened to the girl who was interested in local history? 278 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,298 It's not about finding treasure, it's about finding... 279 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,950 Buttons and ring pulls? 280 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:40,756 No thank you, show me to the non-ferrous metals. 281 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:41,988 Unbelievable. 282 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,055 First pre-decimal coin buys the drinks. 283 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:14,084 ♪ Will you search through the lonely Earth for me? ♪ 284 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,893 ♪ Climb through the briar and brambles? ♪ 285 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:23,904 ♪ I'll be your treasure ♪ 286 00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,271 ♪ I felt the touch of the kings ♪ 287 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,679 ♪ And the breath of the wind ♪ 288 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:39,151 ♪ I knew the call of all the songbirds ♪ 289 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:44,851 ♪ They sang all the wrong words ♪ 290 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,861 ♪ I'm waiting for you ♪ 291 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,798 ♪ I'm waiting for you ♪ 292 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:42,776 You won't believe the photo I just took of you. 293 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,355 Oh, my God! 294 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,257 You found your gold. 295 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,764 I found my gold. 296 00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,042 Oh, dear. 297 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:13,274 I think we're gonna get told off. 298 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,254 Basically, good news and bad news. 299 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,846 What's the bad news? 300 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,415 MOD have turned up, site's out of bounds, 301 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,620 they're doing geophys to determine whether there's 302 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,596 any more unexploded subsoil ordnance. 303 00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:34,032 Well, just as long as they don't find anything pre-1940. 304 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,194 How did you find out? Did you phone bishop? 305 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,865 Well, that's where the good news comes in. 306 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,568 Wait for it... 307 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,075 Ta-da. 308 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:46,910 What's that? 309 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,608 Gold stater. 310 00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:51,652 Well, I know what it is... Where did you get it? 311 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,311 Bishop's farm, not far from the crater. 312 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,254 You went there without me? 313 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,916 Yeah. 314 00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:00,654 I know we sort of said, but didn't think you'd mind, 315 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,161 and we certainly didn't expect... 316 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,994 "We"? Who's "we"? 317 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,761 Me and Sophie. 318 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,166 She bought a detector, she wanted to try it out. 319 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,330 - Didn't think you'd mind. - Well, I do mind. 320 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,373 I do mind you went to Bishop's farm without me 321 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,567 when you said you wouldn't, 322 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,439 I do mind you went with Sophie. 323 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,087 And I do mind you found your first gold with her 324 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,306 and not with me. 325 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,904 Come on, mate. 326 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,176 Did you do a dance? 327 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,249 No. 328 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,150 We always said we'd do a dance when we first found gold. 329 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,779 Yeah, well it didn't seem right without you there. 330 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,586 Oh, didn't wanna feel un-cool in front of your new girlfriend? 331 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,990 She's not my girlfriend. 332 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,186 Why don't you do it now? 333 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,753 - What... dance? - Yeah. 334 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,095 - Here? - Yeah. 335 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,165 No. 336 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,667 Go on, dance. 337 00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:42,998 Don't wanna. 338 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,197 Well, why don't you get out of my flat then? 339 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:46,968 - Come on. - No, go on. 340 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,204 I got stuff to do. 341 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,512 We still doing the quiz? 342 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,348 Yeah, yeah, I-I'm doing the quiz, yep. 343 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,785 Huh, good. 344 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,152 But not with you. 345 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,417 What? 346 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,652 Well, you've got a new detective partner... 347 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,455 She can be your new quiz partner and all. 348 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,325 - Come on, mate! - No, I'll find my own team. 349 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,455 And while we're at it, 350 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,863 I've decided to stand for club president as well. 351 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,732 We can't stand against each other, that's ridiculous. 352 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,100 Oh, pull out then. 353 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,833 Or better still, whoever loses the quiz on Friday, 354 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,807 they can pull out the presidency. 355 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,242 Who's your team? 356 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,507 Oh, I've got people. 357 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,673 Intelligent people. 358 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,216 Get out. 359 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,105 Two halves for the ladies. 360 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,305 And a pint for me. Cheers. 361 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,676 Thanks, love. 362 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,349 Why are you drinking girls' drinks, Lance? 363 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,886 - Watching the figure? - Driving. 364 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,387 Still got the old banger? 365 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,048 TR7's a classic. 366 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,354 Take no notice, Lance, he's just jealous. 367 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,326 Jealous of the yellow peril? 368 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,420 I don't need a penis extension to prove myself. 369 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,590 It's not a penis extension, Tony. 370 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,293 Penis extensions are red. 371 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:24,634 It is a penis extension... A tiny, yellow penis extension. 372 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,138 Can we stop talking about my penis? 373 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,970 Probably best. 374 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,805 Leaves a bad taste in the mouth... 375 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,367 Or so I've heard! 376 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,606 Tony! 377 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,686 What do you mean? Why not? 378 00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:45,624 - He's got a new team. - What new team? 379 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,957 - I dunno. - Well, who's gonna be our sub? 380 00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:50,088 - Sophie, I told you. - What? 381 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,597 I told you. 382 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,576 I want you to see that she's actually really nice. 383 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,765 I'm sure she's bloody wonderful. 384 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:07,310 - Oh, look, there's Lance. - Who's he with? 385 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,145 - What's going on? - Well, nothing, who's he with? 386 00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,660 - Have you two fallen out? - No, what? Why? 387 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,030 Brilliant, I'm gonna be sitting there like a lemon while you 388 00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:15,965 - ignore your boyfriend. - He's not my boyfriend. 389 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,457 And hold hands with your girlfriend. 390 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,168 - She's not my girlfriend. - She's a floozy. 391 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,491 - She's not a floozy. - Who's not a floozy? 392 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,792 Hello, Sophie! Look, it's Sophie. 393 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,126 - Oh, yes. - Hi. 394 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:31,001 So, Sophie, this is, um, Becky. Uh, Becky, this is Sophie. 395 00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:33,267 - I think you've met before. - Yep, hi again. 396 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,705 Hello. 397 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,334 Sorry I poured three pints of strong European lager over you 398 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,844 last time we met. 399 00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,039 It was an accident. 400 00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,048 That's okay. 401 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,811 It happens all the time. 402 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,186 What are you drinking Sophie? Pint? 403 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:50,382 Three please. 404 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,762 Right, I'm going for a fag. 405 00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:58,423 You coming, Mags? 406 00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,522 Yeah, go on then. 407 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,431 No, they're about to start in a minute. 408 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,935 Won't be long. 409 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,875 All right? 410 00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:18,145 Come on mate, this isn't worth it. 411 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,016 Come and join us at our table. 412 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,646 Loser pulls out of the presidency. 413 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,384 If you like. 414 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,085 And loser leaves the club. 415 00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:27,889 All right, tosser. 416 00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:28,985 - You tosser. - Are you? 417 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,031 No, you are. 418 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,153 Right then, quiz rules state that... 419 00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,475 Oh, wow, come on then, that's us. 420 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,385 Everyone must hand over their telephones 421 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,575 for the duration of the quiz. 422 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,351 So, how does this work? 423 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,122 Quizmaster asks the questions, 424 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,892 and if you know the answer you write it down. 425 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,763 Yes, it's your basic pub quiz. 426 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,894 Different rounds, different subjects. 427 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,029 What's your speciality, do you think? 428 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,596 Children's programs? 429 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:17,041 Well, I'm studying ancient history, so... 430 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,705 Yeah, doesn't often come up in the Two Brewers pub quiz. 431 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,680 You're a primary school teacher aren't you? 432 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,546 So you're probably good at most subjects. 433 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,415 - That's right. - Up to year six standard. 434 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,235 Where have you been?! We're about to start. 435 00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:35,319 - All right. - Jesus, don't wet yourself. 436 00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,660 And if everybody's ready... 437 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,756 Round one... 438 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:42,392 The sports round. 439 00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:49,173 Question one, which football club is nearest the Mersey? 440 00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:50,574 It's Liverpool. 441 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,243 No, Stockport. It's definitely Stockport. 442 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,832 People think it's Liverpool or Everton, 443 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,246 that's why he put the question in, 444 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,113 but it's definitely Stockport, put it down. 445 00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,827 - Stockport, Stockport. - Question two... 446 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:03,619 What was the 1966 World Cup mascot 447 00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,091 in England? 448 00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,287 I know it, I know it. 449 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:11,763 - Oh, that's it. - Willy? 450 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,609 Hopefully some geography questions will come up. 451 00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:14,743 Becky's got a geography degree. 452 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,293 Oh, my god, amazing. 453 00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,305 Well done you. 454 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,122 Moving on to round two. Lads' mags. 455 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,454 Yes! 456 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:43,462 What does "FHM" stand for? 457 00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:47,158 Just... Just give him the pencil. 458 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:49,225 All right, have the pencil, it doesn't bother me. 459 00:22:49,302 --> 00:22:52,170 Write it. 460 00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:54,139 Look at them, they know everything. 461 00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,869 Don't you read lads' mags, Andy? 462 00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:57,501 No. 463 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,773 No, lads' mags are for men having midlife crises 464 00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:02,907 who like looking at pictures of floozies and dolly birds. 465 00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:16,528 Round three, the Balearic Islands. 466 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:19,031 Danke schoen! 467 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:24,695 Onto the next round, ITV2. 468 00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:25,771 What? 469 00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:28,741 Oh, series link. 470 00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:30,106 What sort of category? 471 00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:39,210 Onto round five, astronomy. 472 00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:40,412 Here we go. 473 00:23:40,486 --> 00:23:42,387 Question one, 474 00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:44,947 what star sign are you if you was born 475 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:46,287 on the 10th of October? 476 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:47,793 That's not... 477 00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,192 No, I know this, I know this. 478 00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:51,561 No. No, no, no, that's astrology, not astronomy. 479 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:53,122 What's the difference? 480 00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:57,503 She's got it, she knows it. 481 00:24:06,179 --> 00:24:09,274 And final round this evening is archeology. 482 00:24:09,349 --> 00:24:10,544 Here we are. 483 00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:15,449 What year was the tomb of Tutankhamen discovered? 484 00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:16,955 Who? 485 00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:18,423 1923. 486 00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:19,424 '23. 487 00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:21,620 No, it's 1922. 488 00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:22,889 Is it? 489 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,931 The actual discovery of the tomb 490 00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,761 when they found the steps was 1922; 491 00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:29,098 when they broke through into the burial chamber 492 00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,602 and found the wonderful things, 493 00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,139 that was early 1923. 494 00:24:33,206 --> 00:24:36,438 I did a project with my year six children. 495 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:39,778 Well? This is your department, 496 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:41,747 Indiana Jones and the Temple of "Uh"! 497 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:42,941 I know, it's just, I... 498 00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:45,678 It's either 1922 or 1923. 499 00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:47,744 Oh, no! 500 00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:51,982 Put both years, put both. 501 00:24:57,163 --> 00:25:01,123 And the winners tonight, 502 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,862 who got every question right... 503 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:05,803 apart from them ones in the archeology round... 504 00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:07,306 They were quite difficult. 505 00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:09,467 The winners are... 506 00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:11,135 this team here! 507 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,549 We win! 508 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,348 Here we are. Here, fellers. 509 00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:22,719 Humiliating defeat. 510 00:25:22,789 --> 00:25:25,782 Just goes to prove Lance is the trivia king. 511 00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:28,123 Still, nice to meet you Sophie. 512 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:30,789 Yeah, you too. See ya. 513 00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:36,096 See ya. 514 00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:52,816 Which is why you need to elect me 515 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,751 as your next president. 516 00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:58,258 Look, if I'm right, ladies and gentlemen, 517 00:25:58,324 --> 00:26:01,453 then this is it, this is the big one, 518 00:26:01,527 --> 00:26:04,053 what we've all been looking for, 519 00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:09,000 the final resting place of Sexred, King of the East Saxons. 520 00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:12,800 So, what we gotta do is make the initial find, 521 00:26:12,872 --> 00:26:17,139 then we can secure our right to play a part in the excavation. 522 00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:19,770 So, let's get some new members in, 523 00:26:19,846 --> 00:26:21,144 some fresh blood, 524 00:26:21,214 --> 00:26:25,948 and let's get some fleeces with "DMDC" embroidered on them. 525 00:26:26,018 --> 00:26:29,477 No, Russell, it won't be too expensive 526 00:26:29,555 --> 00:26:31,956 because I've got a mate who works down at 527 00:26:32,024 --> 00:26:35,222 the custom fleece warehouse and he'll give us a discount. 528 00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:36,990 What's that, young Hugh? 529 00:26:37,063 --> 00:26:40,124 Well, do you see Andy here? 530 00:26:40,199 --> 00:26:45,433 Where is Andy in our hour of need? 531 00:26:49,375 --> 00:26:52,345 Sorry, do you want to be alone with your detector? 532 00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:54,505 Yeah, if you wouldn't mind. 533 00:27:00,253 --> 00:27:01,983 Do you talk to it? 534 00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,716 Sometimes. 535 00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:06,725 Does every detector have its own personality? 536 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,818 Lance would have you believe they do. 537 00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:10,454 Why aren't you talking to Lance? 538 00:27:10,530 --> 00:27:12,123 What's it all about? 539 00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:14,599 Uh, I went detecting on Bishop's farm 540 00:27:14,667 --> 00:27:16,465 when sort of said we wouldn't. 541 00:27:16,536 --> 00:27:19,335 - On your own? - Yeah. 542 00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:21,397 Oops. 543 00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:23,773 He'll get over it. 544 00:27:23,843 --> 00:27:25,903 Don't be sad. 545 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:28,675 I'm gonna let him be club president. 546 00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:31,343 Well, you should, he's totally suited to it. 547 00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:32,976 And you'd be rubbish. 548 00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,180 I've pulled out of the presidential race. 549 00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:37,189 Was it a race? 550 00:27:37,256 --> 00:27:39,725 Sort of... no, not really. 551 00:27:39,792 --> 00:27:41,920 I'm glad anyway, I didn't really wanna do it, 552 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,054 I just got caught up in all the excitement. 553 00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:48,033 Oh, my God, you are so sad. 554 00:27:50,036 --> 00:27:51,664 Hang on, why aren't you drinking? 555 00:27:51,737 --> 00:27:55,299 You haven't got school tomorrow. 556 00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:57,605 There's a reason. 557 00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:01,343 Oh, bloody hell. Who's that? 558 00:28:05,618 --> 00:28:09,555 - What reason? - Hang on. 559 00:28:09,622 --> 00:28:13,024 What reason? Are you trying to lose weight? 560 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,577 I didn't say you needed to lose weight, 561 00:28:46,626 --> 00:28:47,769 you don't need to lose weight, 562 00:28:47,793 --> 00:28:49,433 I thought that's why you weren't drinking. 563 00:28:49,462 --> 00:28:52,296 Becks, what you doing? Where you going? 564 00:28:52,365 --> 00:28:54,891 - To my mum's. - Is it what I said? 565 00:28:54,967 --> 00:28:58,665 It's not because of what you said, it's what you've done. 566 00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:01,867 - What have I done? - Wrack your brains! 567 00:29:04,143 --> 00:29:05,509 Becky, wait.