1
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:26,386
He's corny as corn bread
seedy as grain
2
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:29,622
He came out west
on a northbound train
3
00:00:29,695 --> 00:00:32,459
The crooks die laughing
but they're deadjust the same
4
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,932
He's the shakiest gun in the West
5
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,969
Yeah
6
00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:40,301
He's the shakiest gun in the West
7
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:43,433
He's got a phony pony
that was made in Japan
8
00:00:43,509 --> 00:00:46,307
He rides in the saddle
like an elevator man
9
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:49,473
He's an underfoot tenderfoot
king of the mess
10
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,177
He's the shakiest gun in the West
11
00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:54,151
Yeah
12
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,745
He's the shakiest gun in the West
13
00:00:56,822 --> 00:00:59,450
But he stands for right
14
00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:02,358
Both day and night
15
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:07,092
He may lose the battle for a while
16
00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:11,102
But he'll win the fight
17
00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:14,298
He's a humdinger
a western swinger
18
00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:17,740
But he has a little trouble
with his trigger finger
19
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:20,643
When he takes aim
it's anybody's guess
20
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:23,238
He's the shakiest gun in the West
21
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,250
Yeah
22
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:28,219
He's the shakiest gun in the West
23
00:01:28,287 --> 00:01:31,688
He's a dude done over
you can see at a glance
24
00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:35,022
His boots are shiny
and so are his pants
25
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,688
He's got hair in his eye
and a gleam on his chest
26
00:01:37,763 --> 00:01:40,425
He's the shakiest gun in the West
27
00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:42,490
Yeah
28
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:44,832
He's the shakiest gun in the West
29
00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:47,532
But he stands for right
30
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,701
Both day and night
31
00:01:50,776 --> 00:01:55,440
He may lose the battle for a while
32
00:01:55,514 --> 00:01:58,483
But he'll win the fight
33
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,281
Yeah, he stands for right
34
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:04,050
Both day and night
35
00:02:06,692 --> 00:02:11,129
Oh, help.! Help.! Help.!
36
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,166
Help! Ohhh!
37
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:18,135
Help! Help!
38
00:02:20,606 --> 00:02:22,972
Madam, madam,
please be patient.
39
00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:26,409
After all, this is the final
examination for these dental students.
40
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,607
It's important
that you cooperate.
41
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:33,880
Now, stay in your chair
and try to relax.
42
00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:36,421
Golly Ned, Mother!
43
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,424
Relax. Up we go.
44
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:48,223
All right.
45
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:52,396
You just sit down there.
There we go.
46
00:02:52,471 --> 00:02:57,101
All righty, Miss Stevenson.
Now, first things first.
47
00:02:57,176 --> 00:03:01,840
Now we're just gonna take a little
look-see at your general dental condition.
48
00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:04,781
Sort of get
the lay of the land.
49
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:08,877
You know? Okay.
All righty, open your mouth.
50
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:15,193
No, no, you see, if, uh...
51
00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:18,560
if you don't open your mouth,
then I can't see anything.
52
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,657
See? That's the way
that works.
53
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:26,364
Uh, come on now, Miss Stevenson.
Seriously. Open your mouth.
54
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:29,704
Open up.
Come on, come on.
55
00:03:29,775 --> 00:03:33,267
I'll help you here. I'll get
that... There. Open that...
56
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:43,247
How're you doing, Heywood? Fine. Fine.
57
00:03:47,326 --> 00:03:50,124
Dr. Friedlander?
58
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:53,461
What seems to be
the trouble, Heywood?
59
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,600
Complete closure
of the oral cavity, eh?
60
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,605
She won't open her mouth.
61
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,937
Watch me carefully.
62
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:06,171
Well, Miss Stevenson,
don't we look lovely today.
63
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,577
But we have a toothache,
haven't we?
64
00:04:08,647 --> 00:04:12,606
A tooth saved is a silver dollar
in the bank of health.
65
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:15,210
Now, open your mouth, dear.
66
00:04:17,289 --> 00:04:19,257
Op... Open wide.
67
00:04:23,462 --> 00:04:27,922
Are we going to open up
that mouth?
68
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:32,361
Open that rotten
little mouth!
69
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,872
You're in my way, Heywood.
You're in my way!
70
00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:47,043
I can't...
I can't get loose.
71
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:50,145
Wait 'til I get...
72
00:04:53,659 --> 00:04:55,923
Get me out of here!
73
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,700
You're on your own
from here on, Heywood.
74
00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:06,704
If you don't get that mouth
open and get that tooth fixed,
75
00:05:06,772 --> 00:05:09,866
you don't graduate.
Mm-hmm.
76
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,924
Now, Miss Stevenson,
77
00:05:26,992 --> 00:05:30,860
I realize that this is hardly the
time or place to bring this up,
78
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:34,889
but, uh, I'd like very much
to see you socially sometime.
79
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:38,164
Oh! Well, I, uh...
There!
80
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,070
Everything going
okay, Heywood?
81
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:46,634
Fine. Uh-huh. Fine.
82
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,313
Mm-hmm.
83
00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:49,631
All right, make way
for the mother of a dentist.
84
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:54,002
The mother ofJesse W. Heywood,
valedictorian.
85
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,140
I'm her best friend.
86
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:20,227
Uh, Dr. Friedlander,
87
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:23,598
faculty, students...
88
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,604
and parents.
89
00:08:31,076 --> 00:08:33,909
As we, uh, stand
on the threshold...
90
00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:38,473
Louder.! As we stand on
the threshold of graduation,
91
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:41,986
we may get the feeling
that this is the end.
92
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:50,128
This is really the beginning...
Louder.!
93
00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:52,595
This is really the beginning...
94
00:08:52,664 --> 00:08:56,065
of stepping out into new horizons:
95
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:59,070
north, south, east...
96
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,164
and... west.
97
00:09:03,575 --> 00:09:06,100
Speaking of west,
that is the direc...
98
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:08,646
that is the direction
that I personally am going to.
99
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,444
Why did I choose the West?
100
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:17,285
Because the West is a place
where few, if any, dentists have trod.
101
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,824
So I am going to trod there.
102
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:25,324
Why, Jesse? Why?
103
00:09:25,397 --> 00:09:28,366
Well, Mom,
the West needs dentists.
104
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:31,232
I mean, teeth are fallin' out
right and left out there.
105
00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:34,431
Teeth are falling out
in Philadelphia too.
106
00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:39,375
Yeah, but Philadelphia is overrun
with dentists. There must be seven!
107
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:43,677
Gratitude! Gratitude!
Some nice gratitude!
108
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:47,879
But all the plans,
all the nice surprises.
109
00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:51,855
Your Uncle George was going to give
you an office over the harness shop...
110
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,585
for $3.00 a month.
111
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,685
And Celia's Leonard
was going to give you...
112
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,424
four rolls of wallpaper.
113
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,932
Blue ducks.
114
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,332
Fifty cents a foot!
Wholesale!
115
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:06,337
Oh, Jesse!
116
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,635
Jesse, Jesse, Jesse!
117
00:10:08,707 --> 00:10:12,336
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.
118
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:16,313
If he were mine, I'd know what
to do. Put him across my knee.
119
00:10:16,381 --> 00:10:18,645
Butt out!
I'm family!
120
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:20,947
You're not family!
I'm your aunt!
121
00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:24,079
You're not a real aunt. Just my
mother's best friend. Oh, yeah?
122
00:10:24,156 --> 00:10:25,316
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah?
123
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:28,723
How's it going, Heywood? Fine. Fine.
124
00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:39,965
Those half-naked savages
must have colds all the time.
125
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:42,404
Oh, Ma, that's
an old wives' tale.
126
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:45,443
Your average Indian's
the healthiest person in the world.
127
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:48,674
But, Jesse, dear, it stands
to reason... Uh, Ma, Ma, Ma!
128
00:10:48,747 --> 00:10:51,045
Call me "Doctor."
129
00:10:51,116 --> 00:10:53,812
Oh, excuse me,
is this car 24?
130
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:56,286
Uh, all the way down, mack.
Thank you.
131
00:10:56,355 --> 00:11:01,190
But, Doctor, you've always been
such a delicate little boy.
132
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,956
You've got such touchy sinuses.
133
00:11:04,029 --> 00:11:06,827
You've always had your
father's delicate sinuses.
134
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,424
Aw, Ma!
Now don't "aw" me.
135
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:12,265
It was your father's
sinuses that killed him.
136
00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:14,703
He was run over
by a beer wagon!
137
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:18,209
He was blowing his nose
in the middle of the street.
138
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:21,075
Well, I'm not going to cry.
139
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:23,080
Good for you, Ma.
140
00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:26,311
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry.
141
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,319
Attagirl.
142
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:30,821
If you don't believe me,
ask Celia.
143
00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:33,915
I said, "Celia, I'm not
going to cry at the station."
144
00:11:33,992 --> 00:11:37,428
And you've always
kept your word, Ma.
145
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:40,158
Uh, is this car 24?
146
00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:43,827
Uh, back that way.
Huh. Well...
147
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:48,871
I'll bet you think
I'm crying right now.
148
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,774
You promised yourself
you wouldn't. And I'm not!
149
00:11:51,843 --> 00:11:54,812
That's 'cause
you're strong, Ma.
150
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,781
Just think, Ma.
151
00:11:57,849 --> 00:11:59,783
Gettin' ready to head west.
152
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:02,547
In two days, I'll be in Ohio.
153
00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:04,953
In one week, I'll be in St. Louis.
154
00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:08,049
And in two months,
California!
155
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:10,822
What an age we live in.
156
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:14,263
Things are moving too fast.
157
00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:22,702
Excuse me, bunky.
Is this about it?
158
00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:26,073
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Thank you. Thank you.
159
00:12:26,144 --> 00:12:28,112
Well, Ma...
160
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:34,179
Oh! Oh, uh...
161
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,554
Ma, you got something
for the porter? Got a nickel?
162
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,593
A nickel?
163
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:48,592
Uh, n-no charge.
164
00:12:51,503 --> 00:12:53,471
Ma, what's that?
165
00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:57,565
Well, it got your Uncle Metcalf
safely through the Civil War.
166
00:12:57,643 --> 00:13:00,043
Here, you may need it.
167
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,977
Well, gee, Ma,
that's kind of nifty.
168
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,450
Wear it in good health.
169
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:09,578
Board.!
170
00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:15,392
Well, Ma, I guess this is it.
171
00:13:16,928 --> 00:13:19,055
Good-bye, dear.
172
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,259
Write me as soon
as you get to the West.
173
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,302
I will, Ma.
174
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:41,378
Don't look back, Ma.
175
00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:01,438
Goin' out west, partner?
176
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:03,838
Sure am, partner.
177
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,660
Naka washa.
178
00:14:58,563 --> 00:15:04,001
Well...
thank you, dear lady.
179
00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:09,466
Oh, uh, thank you,
dear lady.
180
00:15:14,312 --> 00:15:16,337
Mmm!
181
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,077
That's good!
What is that?
182
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:22,518
Wana tonka.
Wana tonka?
183
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,555
Lizard roll.
184
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:39,570
Rest stop! Rest stop!
185
00:15:56,955 --> 00:16:01,187
All right, everybody out
of that stage. Come on!
186
00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:06,297
Come on!
187
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:11,058
Come on, let's go.!
188
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,367
And you up there,
throw down that strongbox!
189
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:55,012
Hold it, driver.!
190
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,560
Go ahead!
191
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,639
Whoa! Whoa!
192
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:23,640
What happened, Arthur?
193
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:27,508
Two men held us up out on the Willow
Creek Road. They got the strongbox.
194
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,139
All right.
Come on, men. Let's go.
195
00:17:41,259 --> 00:17:45,059
I just love this kind
of stuff. Oh, come on!
196
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,740
Fred, got a passenger for ya
on the through stage.
197
00:17:55,807 --> 00:17:57,968
Be sure he gets on it.
198
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:27,901
Hot digs!
Come to 2,200 apiece.
199
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:34,810
You know something, Penny?
This is the first time...
200
00:18:34,879 --> 00:18:38,440
I ever had this much money
at one time in my whole life.
201
00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:41,713
There's plenty more
where that came from, Pop.
202
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:45,586
I got two stagecoaches lined up
next week. A hundred miles apart.
203
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,922
Hold it, Penny. Count me out. What?
204
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:52,020
That's right. This was my last job.
205
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:57,501
After 30 years of rustling cattle
and holding up banks, I'm packing it in.
206
00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:01,005
This'll be easy pickin's, Pop.
207
00:19:01,072 --> 00:19:03,802
No. I'm gonna take
this here money...
208
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:06,435
and fulfill my lifelong ambition.
209
00:19:06,511 --> 00:19:08,445
What's that, Pop?
210
00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:12,313
Go to Boston and open up
a little dress shop.
211
00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:15,444
A dress shop?
212
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,250
Well, wait a minute, Penny.
213
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,486
Just 'cause I'm rough and dirty
and don't wear underwear,
214
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:24,426
don't mean that I ain't artistic.
215
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:28,455
All the years we've been together,
I never heard you mention that once.
216
00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:33,937
Well, I reckon it would sound kind of
funny in front of the other gentlemen.
217
00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:37,532
Well, if that's
the way you want it.
218
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:41,705
At least we can ride together
as far as Hole in the Wall.
219
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:45,983
A dress shop?
Hold it, Penny!
220
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:49,883
What is it?
221
00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:53,151
Sounds like maybe 10 or 15 horses.
222
00:19:53,224 --> 00:19:56,625
Nice posse size.
Let's get outta here.
223
00:20:27,358 --> 00:20:31,192
Whoa! Whoa! Penny, there
ain't but one thing to do.
224
00:20:31,262 --> 00:20:34,129
They're gainin' on us.
We gotta split up.
225
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:36,258
You follow
that stream there.
226
00:20:36,334 --> 00:20:39,633
I'll head north and try to
draw 'em off. Good luck, honey.
227
00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:41,638
Don't get caught, Pop.
Remember your dress shop.
228
00:20:56,387 --> 00:20:58,617
Yeah, it looks like one of'em.
229
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:01,853
I just love this kind of stuff.
230
00:21:01,926 --> 00:21:04,019
Let's go.
231
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:58,475
I just hate this kind of
stuff! Grab her, Floyd!
232
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:00,609
Where?
Where?
233
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:04,951
I don't know about grabbin'
women! I ain't married!
234
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:08,288
Where's that federal
marshal? He's on his way over.
235
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,293
You've got no right!
236
00:22:10,361 --> 00:22:14,388
You've got no right holding
a defenseless woman prisoner!
237
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:25,306
Now simmer down!
You just simmer down, Penny.
238
00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:28,368
Marshal Bates here
wants to talk to you.
239
00:22:28,446 --> 00:22:31,040
Miss Cushings,
I've got a proposition for you.
240
00:22:31,115 --> 00:22:32,810
Not interested!
241
00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:36,911
Better hear me out.
This paper's a full pardon.
242
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:41,084
You dang fool! The marshal wants you
to work for the federal government.
243
00:22:41,159 --> 00:22:44,287
It's a trick!
I just love this kind of stuff!
244
00:22:44,362 --> 00:22:47,854
No, it's no trick.
Now listen to me carefully.
245
00:22:47,932 --> 00:22:51,868
Somebody's been smuggling guns
to some renegade Comanche Indians.
246
00:22:51,936 --> 00:22:53,870
What's that got to do with me?
247
00:22:53,938 --> 00:22:56,236
We need your help
to find out who it is.
248
00:22:56,307 --> 00:22:59,504
The marshal wants you to work
as an undercover agent.
249
00:22:59,577 --> 00:23:01,670
We've already lost two men.
250
00:23:01,746 --> 00:23:05,477
We figure they won't be suspicious
of a woman posin' as a homesteader.
251
00:23:07,318 --> 00:23:10,116
Well, what do you think, Penny?
252
00:23:10,188 --> 00:23:12,588
I don't know.
253
00:23:12,657 --> 00:23:16,024
We got enough on you
to send you away for 300 years.
254
00:23:17,695 --> 00:23:21,096
Ya ninny! He wants
to give you a pardon!
255
00:23:21,165 --> 00:23:23,565
Here, read this.
256
00:23:27,705 --> 00:23:30,572
Is it a real pardon?
257
00:23:30,642 --> 00:23:33,577
It's got the governor's
signature on it.
258
00:23:36,981 --> 00:23:39,006
You got yourself a deal.
259
00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:42,313
Hey, this is
pretty excitin'.
260
00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:44,412
You mind if
I tell everybody?
261
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:47,981
You do and I'll shoot you...
right in the mouth.
262
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:11,548
Excuse me, sir.
263
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:15,052
Could you tell me where I could buy
a wagon and a good team of horses?
264
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,713
Yep. Right across
the street there.
265
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:21,190
Abel Swanson will sell you
anything you want.
266
00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:23,989
But watch him.
He's real slick.
267
00:24:24,062 --> 00:24:25,996
He'll cheat you
if he gets a chance.
268
00:24:26,064 --> 00:24:29,500
Yeah? Well, he'll have to get up
pretty early in the morning...
269
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:32,695
to pull the wool
overJesse W. Heywood's eyes.
270
00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:34,738
Much obliged.
271
00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:37,036
Love your hat!
272
00:24:50,488 --> 00:24:52,956
Mr. Swanson?
273
00:24:53,024 --> 00:24:55,618
Oh. Howdy.
274
00:24:55,693 --> 00:24:59,493
I'd like to see Mr. Swanson about
gettin' a good rig and a team.
275
00:25:01,733 --> 00:25:05,863
Well, I don't know
anything about that.
276
00:25:05,937 --> 00:25:09,100
And you can tell him that just
because I'm from out of town,
277
00:25:09,173 --> 00:25:12,472
that don't mean I don't
know what it's all about.!
278
00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:28,316
Good day, sir. Abel Swanson,
proprietor, at your service.
279
00:25:28,393 --> 00:25:31,385
Dr. Jesse W. Heywood,
dentist, Philadelphia.
280
00:25:31,462 --> 00:25:35,831
Ah, a professional man! What a pleasure
to do business with a man of science!
281
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:39,529
Wong, our house is honored
by the presence of a physician.
282
00:25:50,648 --> 00:25:53,913
Wong reveres knowledge.
We are at your service.
283
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:55,976
Uh, well...
284
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:58,989
I want to get a rig
and a couple of good strong horses.
285
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,991
And I'll pay nothin'
but a fair price.
286
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:04,051
It's a pleasure to do business
with a discerning man.
287
00:26:04,128 --> 00:26:07,222
Now, everything you need
is right over here.
288
00:26:07,298 --> 00:26:10,062
There's a potbellied stove,
wrought iron skillet,
289
00:26:10,134 --> 00:26:12,898
twenty pounds of flour,
one axe, two extra handles.
290
00:26:12,970 --> 00:26:17,100
Now, let's see. A stove, $7.50; skillet,
$4.20; flour, $8.50; $9.75 for an axe.
291
00:26:17,175 --> 00:26:20,474
Add that up,
will you, Wong?
292
00:26:23,314 --> 00:26:26,909
That comes to $47, even.
Now for the wagon...
293
00:26:26,984 --> 00:26:29,111
Wait a minute.
Hold it. Hold it!
294
00:26:29,187 --> 00:26:32,588
Forty-seven dollars?
The stove was $7.50.
295
00:26:32,657 --> 00:26:36,855
The skillet was $4.20.
That's $11.70. Then you have...
296
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,556
Have you ever been in the Orient, sir? Huh?
297
00:26:39,630 --> 00:26:42,497
Have you ever been
in the Orient?
298
00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:44,501
No, I never have.
299
00:26:44,569 --> 00:26:47,561
That's amazing.
Simply amazing.
300
00:26:47,638 --> 00:26:51,404
Wong, observe the analytical mind
of the trained scientist.
301
00:26:51,476 --> 00:26:54,411
Skilled in the arts of mathematics,
physics, chemistry.
302
00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:58,643
Able to understand the machinations
of the Oriental calculating abacus.
303
00:26:58,716 --> 00:27:02,584
Run over those figures
for him again, Wong.
304
00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:07,047
Yeah. That's $47, all right.
305
00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:10,993
Extraordinary mind.
You, sir, are amazing.
306
00:27:11,062 --> 00:27:14,498
Now, let's put you into a wagon.
Right this way.
307
00:27:14,565 --> 00:27:16,533
Okay.
308
00:27:18,202 --> 00:27:20,363
You are indeed
a fortunate man!
309
00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:22,702
This is your lucky day!
310
00:27:22,773 --> 00:27:25,333
The wagon you are beholding...
soon to be yours...
311
00:27:25,409 --> 00:27:27,877
is the only one of its kind
west of the Mississippi.
312
00:27:27,945 --> 00:27:29,879
How much is it?
Built of the finest oak.
313
00:27:29,947 --> 00:27:32,780
Once owned by one of the
great pioneers of our west,
314
00:27:32,850 --> 00:27:35,910
the late Sir Lincoln Boone.
315
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:51,359
I know this is no time
to bring this up, but how much is it?
316
00:27:51,435 --> 00:27:54,802
Excuse me. I'll let it go
for a hundred dollars.
317
00:27:54,872 --> 00:27:57,864
How much? One hundred and fifty dollars.
318
00:27:57,942 --> 00:28:00,274
Now that seems
kind of expensive to me!
319
00:28:00,344 --> 00:28:04,405
Expensive? Too expensive
for a vehicle worthy of transporting...
320
00:28:04,482 --> 00:28:06,780
one of the great scientific minds
of our day?
321
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:08,842
Sir, this wagon befits you.
322
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:13,914
Wong, let us not forget. Our house is
honored by the presence of a physician.
323
00:28:16,427 --> 00:28:19,521
Uh, well... Now wait a...
That's enough. I, uh...
324
00:28:19,597 --> 00:28:22,464
Now listen, I think 150 will be okay. Sold!
325
00:28:22,533 --> 00:28:26,025
Wong, add that up.
Forty-seven and 150.
326
00:28:28,272 --> 00:28:31,105
That comes to $232.55.
327
00:28:31,175 --> 00:28:33,666
$232.55?
328
00:28:33,744 --> 00:28:35,712
That is correct.
329
00:28:36,747 --> 00:28:39,341
Well, figures don't lie.
330
00:28:39,417 --> 00:28:42,318
That's an even $250
with the territory tax.
331
00:28:42,386 --> 00:28:44,513
And that'll be cash,
of course.
332
00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:49,652
Territory tax?
333
00:28:49,727 --> 00:28:53,959
Gracias. It was a pleasure doing
business with you, sir. Chop-chop!
334
00:28:54,031 --> 00:28:56,761
Uh, I'll see you.
Oh, wait a minute!
335
00:28:56,834 --> 00:28:59,803
I-I almost forgot.
Well, what about the horses?
336
00:28:59,870 --> 00:29:04,102
Why, surely you jest. There hasn't been
a horse for sale in over three weeks.
337
00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:06,837
Wait a second!
If you didn't have any horses for sale,
338
00:29:06,911 --> 00:29:09,846
how come you sold me
that wagon and all that stuff?
339
00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,747
We just like to keep busy.
You have no right to...
340
00:29:12,817 --> 00:29:16,810
What time do you have, sir?
Huh? Oh, 5:30.
341
00:29:16,887 --> 00:29:20,015
We're closed. Well...
Now just wait a minute!
342
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:23,458
Hold it! Hold it!
Hold it! Why, you...
343
00:29:23,527 --> 00:29:26,690
How am I gonna get out west
if I don't have any horses?
344
00:29:26,764 --> 00:29:29,858
You... You cheaters! Cheaters!
345
00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:33,870
Abacus cadabacus!
346
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:16,071
Mr. Huggins?
That's right.
347
00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:19,275
Penelope Cushings.
Won't you come in?
348
00:30:21,485 --> 00:30:23,749
What can I do for you,
Miss Cushings?
349
00:30:23,821 --> 00:30:27,188
First, I must warn you, I'm
not taking on any new clients.
350
00:30:27,258 --> 00:30:29,726
I expect to be
leaving town shortly.
351
00:30:29,794 --> 00:30:32,854
The moon is on the wane.
352
00:30:32,930 --> 00:30:34,864
You?
353
00:30:34,932 --> 00:30:37,457
You were looking
for a woman, weren't you?
354
00:30:37,535 --> 00:30:41,198
Well, yes, but you're...
Well, not like you.
355
00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:44,764
Expecting someone
a bit more horsey?
356
00:30:44,842 --> 00:30:46,776
Sort of.
357
00:30:46,844 --> 00:30:51,008
Well, I'm what they came up with,
so let's get down to business.
358
00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:54,848
We're to take the wagon train to San
Miguel with you posing as my wife.
359
00:30:54,919 --> 00:30:57,854
Oh?
Strictly federal business.
360
00:30:57,922 --> 00:31:00,720
Once there,
we get in touch with Will Banks.
361
00:31:00,791 --> 00:31:04,227
You've got a rig?
Waiting out in the staging area.
362
00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:07,321
Any notion as to how the rifles
are getting to the Indians?
363
00:31:07,398 --> 00:31:11,300
Nope. There could even be some
on the wagon train we're taking.
364
00:31:12,937 --> 00:31:16,532
Well, now, do you have everything
you need? Yes, I think so.
365
00:31:16,607 --> 00:31:20,099
Good. We'll leave
day after tomorrow at sunup.
366
00:31:20,177 --> 00:31:22,702
Strictly federal business?
367
00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:24,907
Strictly.
368
00:31:24,982 --> 00:31:27,041
Done and done.
369
00:32:02,853 --> 00:32:06,414
That's Sam Huggins, the lawyer.
370
00:32:06,490 --> 00:32:10,187
Who did it? Shots came from across
the street. This fellow staggered in.
371
00:32:10,261 --> 00:32:13,128
- Did anybody call a doctor?
- Doc Gifford's out of town.
372
00:32:13,197 --> 00:32:16,394
Wait a minute. There's a doctor
right here in the hotel.
373
00:32:18,736 --> 00:32:22,228
Dr. Jesse W. Heywood.
Room three.
374
00:32:22,306 --> 00:32:24,740
Come on, Lyle!
Ernie, come on!
375
00:32:38,656 --> 00:32:42,717
Hurry it up!
He don't answer.
376
00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:49,865
Darn you, Lyle!
Dr. Heywood!
377
00:32:49,934 --> 00:32:52,562
Dr. Heywood!
Wake up! Wake up!
378
00:32:52,636 --> 00:32:54,831
Let's go up there.!
379
00:32:54,905 --> 00:32:58,170
We're coming! Dr. Heywood,
Dr. Heywood! Please, wake up!
380
00:32:58,242 --> 00:33:01,734
Doctor, we have an
emergency in the lobby.
381
00:33:01,812 --> 00:33:05,043
Hmm. Emergency.
382
00:33:12,923 --> 00:33:15,949
Hmm? Yeah.
I'm awake. I'm awake.
383
00:33:24,568 --> 00:33:27,662
All right, everybody.
Stand back. Give this man air.
384
00:33:27,738 --> 00:33:30,707
He's probably got
a badly impacted wisdom tooth.
385
00:33:30,774 --> 00:33:33,072
You fool!
Here's the trouble.
386
00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:51,785
Hey, you sure handled that
nice last night, Doc.
387
00:34:00,504 --> 00:34:03,996
Uh... morning!
388
00:34:13,517 --> 00:34:18,352
Uh, look, I hope I didn't give
the hotel a bad name by fainting.
389
00:34:18,422 --> 00:34:21,050
I mean, I feel bad about that.
Makes me feel terrible.
390
00:34:21,125 --> 00:34:23,958
Your shoe's untied.
391
00:34:24,028 --> 00:34:27,054
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Well, I'll just, uh...
392
00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:30,294
I'll, uh, tie it over here.
393
00:34:35,639 --> 00:34:38,574
Oh, uh... uh, ma'am?
394
00:34:38,642 --> 00:34:42,203
Ma'am? Wa...
Wait just...
395
00:34:42,279 --> 00:34:44,747
Just... wa...
396
00:34:48,218 --> 00:34:51,813
Uh, ma'am!
Oh, ma'am!
397
00:34:51,889 --> 00:34:54,881
Uh, ma'am.
Excuse me, ma'am.
398
00:34:54,959 --> 00:34:58,360
I just wanted to express
my deepest sympathy...
399
00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:00,590
and to apologize for, uh...
400
00:35:00,664 --> 00:35:03,462
well, what happened
to me there last night.
401
00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:06,833
See, actually I'm a dentist.
See, I'm not a doctor.
402
00:35:06,904 --> 00:35:09,566
And, well, when I see
something like that,
403
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,938
I just sort of go all fuzzy.
404
00:35:12,009 --> 00:35:16,571
What's a tender ninny like you
doing out here in the first place?
405
00:35:18,415 --> 00:35:21,043
Uh, ma'am, uh...
406
00:35:21,118 --> 00:35:25,248
Now I realize that that may have
come about as a result of your grief.
407
00:35:25,322 --> 00:35:28,587
But I don't like to be
called a tender ninny.
408
00:35:28,659 --> 00:35:32,220
Tender ninny!
409
00:35:34,264 --> 00:35:36,858
Okay. All right.
Now, all right.
410
00:35:36,934 --> 00:35:41,098
I'm gonna tell you something.
I'm in teeth!
411
00:35:41,171 --> 00:35:46,074
And I came out here all the way from Philadelphia
single-handed to fight oral ignorance!
412
00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:48,236
And I intend to go
further west!
413
00:35:48,312 --> 00:35:50,212
West is that way.
414
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,908
West! And I'm gonna
find me a couple of horses,
415
00:35:52,983 --> 00:35:56,009
and I'm leaving on
the next wagon train out!
416
00:35:56,086 --> 00:35:58,520
Now what do you think
about that?
417
00:35:58,589 --> 00:36:03,185
Um, are you going to take your
tree and your dog along with you?
418
00:36:19,910 --> 00:36:22,845
I'm sorry about your
husband passin'on, ma'am,
419
00:36:22,913 --> 00:36:25,006
but rules are rules
and I gotta stick to 'em.
420
00:36:25,082 --> 00:36:28,051
No women alone
on the wagon train.
421
00:36:28,118 --> 00:36:31,053
Uh, look, Mr. Welsh, I have
got to get on this wagon train.
422
00:36:31,121 --> 00:36:33,282
No single women.
Company rules.
423
00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:36,053
Well, I've got to find some way.
424
00:36:36,126 --> 00:36:40,586
The only thing I can recommend is you find
yourself a husband by 5:00 tomorrow mornin'.
425
00:36:40,664 --> 00:36:42,393
A husband?
Mm-hmm.
426
00:36:42,466 --> 00:36:46,960
All you need is somethin'
wearin' pants goin' that way.
427
00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:50,507
Uh, west is that...
428
00:36:52,676 --> 00:36:54,644
way.
429
00:37:44,394 --> 00:37:46,328
Oh!
430
00:37:46,396 --> 00:37:49,695
Hello, Dentist.
431
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,463
Hello!
432
00:37:52,536 --> 00:37:55,403
Uh... it's you!
433
00:37:55,472 --> 00:37:58,930
Aren't you going
to ask me to come in?
434
00:37:59,009 --> 00:38:03,708
Huh? Oh... Oh, sure!
Yeah! Come in, come in.
435
00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:12,915
Oh, uh...
I like to keep my hand in.
436
00:38:17,828 --> 00:38:20,194
I'm sorry to bother you like this,
437
00:38:20,264 --> 00:38:24,724
but I have a terrible toothache.
438
00:38:26,670 --> 00:38:29,070
Is it in your mouth?
Oh, yeah.
439
00:38:29,139 --> 00:38:31,073
It would be, wouldn't it?
440
00:38:31,141 --> 00:38:34,633
Sure. Well, you just
sit right down there,
441
00:38:34,711 --> 00:38:37,179
and we'll just take care of it.
442
00:38:37,247 --> 00:38:39,715
I probably should have
made an appointment.
443
00:38:39,783 --> 00:38:42,047
I realize how busy you must be.
444
00:38:42,119 --> 00:38:45,020
Oh, golly, heck!
There's always...
445
00:38:45,088 --> 00:38:48,353
always room for an emerg...
446
00:38:48,425 --> 00:38:50,825
emergency.
447
00:38:58,735 --> 00:39:01,260
Uh...
448
00:39:01,338 --> 00:39:05,035
I'll just, uh...
449
00:39:05,108 --> 00:39:07,941
Wait a min... Uh, well...
450
00:39:10,247 --> 00:39:14,946
I'll tell you what. Could you
just, uh... open your mouth?
451
00:39:40,344 --> 00:39:43,780
Uh... l... I need my mirror.
452
00:39:43,847 --> 00:39:45,815
Oh.
453
00:39:50,787 --> 00:39:52,982
That's okay.
454
00:39:54,224 --> 00:39:56,988
I'll get, uh...
get something else here.
455
00:39:57,060 --> 00:40:00,962
Oh, do you know something?
Hmm?
456
00:40:01,031 --> 00:40:04,489
When you turned away,
I noticed your profile.
457
00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:08,470
It's really very attractive.
458
00:40:08,538 --> 00:40:12,201
My profile?
459
00:40:12,276 --> 00:40:15,143
Well...
460
00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:18,581
Huh?
461
00:40:18,649 --> 00:40:23,279
Oh, your hands!
Oh, they're lovely!
462
00:40:23,353 --> 00:40:25,719
The hands of a surgeon.
463
00:40:25,789 --> 00:40:30,283
Yeah, well, my ha...
464
00:40:33,063 --> 00:40:35,429
Well, uh...
465
00:40:37,834 --> 00:40:41,531
hands have always
run in my family.
466
00:40:43,407 --> 00:40:45,602
Do you know what I think?
467
00:40:45,676 --> 00:40:47,610
Uh-uh.
468
00:40:47,678 --> 00:40:50,442
I think you're very nice.
469
00:40:50,514 --> 00:40:52,607
Do you know what I think?
470
00:40:52,683 --> 00:40:54,617
What?
471
00:40:54,685 --> 00:40:56,949
I think I might faint.
472
00:40:57,020 --> 00:40:58,453
Ohhh.
473
00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:09,126
How did a wonderful
professional man like you...
474
00:41:09,199 --> 00:41:13,033
escape marriage
all these years?
475
00:41:13,103 --> 00:41:18,234
Well, uh, I've always felt I was
a little too thin for marriage.
476
00:41:18,308 --> 00:41:20,242
Ohhh.
477
00:41:20,310 --> 00:41:24,974
And besides, m-my main mission
in life right now i-i-is to go west.
478
00:41:26,850 --> 00:41:29,410
How strange fate is!
479
00:41:29,486 --> 00:41:32,580
I, too, am alone
and going west.
480
00:41:32,656 --> 00:41:36,285
And suddenly,
out of the blue sky,
481
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,227
I meet you.
482
00:41:40,497 --> 00:41:43,432
A big...
483
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:46,333
tall...
484
00:41:46,403 --> 00:41:48,337
handsome...
485
00:41:48,405 --> 00:41:50,464
man!
486
00:41:55,345 --> 00:41:58,371
Now, wait a minute!
J-Just wait a minute!
487
00:41:58,448 --> 00:42:00,609
I-I don't even know you.
488
00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:03,209
I'm crazy about you.
Isn't that enough?
489
00:42:03,286 --> 00:42:07,279
Now then, the witnesses there, Mrs.
Longbaugh and Slosh White, are 25 cents each,
490
00:42:07,357 --> 00:42:09,791
payable immediately
following the ceremony.
491
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,385
Fine. Speed it up.
The wagon train leaves in an hour.
492
00:42:12,462 --> 00:42:14,396
This is so sudden,
Miss Cushings.
493
00:42:14,464 --> 00:42:17,922
I mean, you just don't fix a tooth
one minute and get married the next.
494
00:42:18,001 --> 00:42:20,993
The song is 50 cents extra.
Would you like the song?
495
00:42:21,071 --> 00:42:22,800
Yes. Fine, fine.
496
00:42:24,574 --> 00:42:27,737
Oh, promise me
that someday...
497
00:42:27,811 --> 00:42:29,574
Let's go, Reverend!
498
00:42:29,646 --> 00:42:31,580
During the music?
Yes!
499
00:42:31,648 --> 00:42:34,242
Well, all right.
500
00:42:34,317 --> 00:42:36,683
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here...
501
00:42:36,753 --> 00:42:38,812
Now wait a minute!
Hold it!
502
00:42:38,889 --> 00:42:41,983
I can't get married
without telling my mother.
503
00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:45,426
There isn't any time. We've
got to catch the wagon train,
504
00:42:45,495 --> 00:42:47,656
uh, uh, uh...
505
00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:49,926
Jesse.
Jesse.
506
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,594
My mother will just
never forgive me for this.
507
00:42:52,669 --> 00:42:56,867
We are assembled here in the presence
of God to join together this man...
508
00:42:56,940 --> 00:42:59,636
Now wa... We're strangers.
You know that, don't you?
509
00:42:59,709 --> 00:43:02,041
I'd at least like you
to meet my mother.
510
00:43:02,112 --> 00:43:04,273
Speed it up, Reverend.
511
00:43:04,347 --> 00:43:07,316
He has instructed those who have
entered into this relationship, etc.
512
00:43:07,384 --> 00:43:09,909
That's not Episcopalian!
513
00:43:09,986 --> 00:43:12,045
By the authority invested
in me by the Church,
514
00:43:12,122 --> 00:43:14,488
I declare that you, Penelope,
and, uh, you, uh...
515
00:43:14,558 --> 00:43:16,890
Jesse.
516
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,394
And you, Jesse,
are hereby man and wife.
517
00:43:19,463 --> 00:43:22,193
Attaboy, Reverend!
Now, just hold it!
518
00:43:22,265 --> 00:43:26,634
I don't feel at all that this is
actually... I mean, the whole... the thing...
519
00:43:26,703 --> 00:43:28,671
Mm-hmm.
520
00:43:37,981 --> 00:43:41,644
We'd better hurry if we want
to catch that wagon train.
521
00:43:47,324 --> 00:43:50,225
Well, well, well. You did it,
ma'am. What's the new name?
522
00:43:50,293 --> 00:43:52,955
Dr. and Mrs. Jesse W.
Heywood. You ready to go?
523
00:43:53,029 --> 00:43:54,963
Wagons west!
524
00:43:55,031 --> 00:43:57,261
That's the ticket. Just pull up
behind that last wagon.
525
00:43:57,334 --> 00:43:59,802
Right.
526
00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:01,895
Nice going.
527
00:44:01,972 --> 00:44:05,430
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm just so darned excited.
528
00:44:09,012 --> 00:44:11,947
Mr. and Mrs. Hiram Remington. Atlanta.
529
00:44:12,015 --> 00:44:15,542
Dr. and Mrs. Jesse W.
Heywood. Philadelphia.
530
00:44:20,924 --> 00:44:24,382
Dr. and Mrs. Jesse W.
Heywood. Philadelphia.
531
00:44:24,461 --> 00:44:29,398
Reverend Zachary Gant and my
loyal minion, Matthew Basch!
532
00:44:29,466 --> 00:44:32,094
Nice couple.
533
00:44:32,169 --> 00:44:35,900
Fix this crate. What are you
trying to do, get us thrown in jail?
534
00:44:35,972 --> 00:44:39,271
Aww, a "purty" little thing
like that and a derby dude,
535
00:44:39,342 --> 00:44:41,810
they ain't likely
to be federal men.
536
00:44:41,878 --> 00:44:44,108
We can't trust anybody.
537
00:44:44,181 --> 00:44:46,615
Now remember that!
Come on, fix it!
538
00:44:52,722 --> 00:44:54,747
Where's Willie?
539
00:44:54,824 --> 00:44:56,758
Beats me.
540
00:44:56,826 --> 00:44:59,590
Willie! Willie!
541
00:44:59,663 --> 00:45:02,257
Here, Ma.
542
00:45:02,332 --> 00:45:06,200
I told you to do that
before we left!
543
00:45:08,038 --> 00:45:09,972
Oh, boy!
544
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,873
Keep your eye
on the road.
545
00:45:16,279 --> 00:45:18,975
I just can't believe it.
546
00:45:19,049 --> 00:45:21,847
Tonight's our wedding night.
547
00:45:26,189 --> 00:45:29,886
In a few hours,
we'll stop...
548
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,258
make camp...
549
00:45:32,329 --> 00:45:35,628
have a little supper...
550
00:45:35,699 --> 00:45:38,327
then beddy-bye.
551
00:46:19,109 --> 00:46:22,044
I was in the same boat
as you 35 years ago.
552
00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:24,046
Is that right?
553
00:46:24,114 --> 00:46:27,049
I'll never forget my wedding
night as long as I live.
554
00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:29,347
I'll bet.
I cried like a baby.
555
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,892
Willie.!
556
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,360
Almost done, Ma.
557
00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:51,797
Penelope?
558
00:46:51,875 --> 00:46:55,072
Penelope?
559
00:46:55,145 --> 00:46:57,170
What do you want?
560
00:46:57,247 --> 00:47:00,216
Are you beddy-bye?
561
00:47:00,283 --> 00:47:03,081
I suppose so.
562
00:47:09,225 --> 00:47:11,489
Guard duty, Dr. Heywood.
563
00:47:11,561 --> 00:47:14,029
You're kidding!
564
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,116
A coyote.
565
00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:08,043
Hoot owl.
566
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,022
Aaah!
Scare ya?
567
00:48:20,096 --> 00:48:22,030
Heck no! You kiddin'?
568
00:48:22,098 --> 00:48:26,034
I come to relieve you, Doc. I reckon you
got some chores you want to fulfill, huh?
569
00:48:26,102 --> 00:48:28,627
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Thanks. Good luck.
570
00:48:47,991 --> 00:48:50,425
I'm back.
571
00:49:20,256 --> 00:49:22,417
You're soft.
572
00:49:42,312 --> 00:49:46,976
Come on, you little dickins!
I'll find you!
573
00:49:50,353 --> 00:49:55,120
Come on now! Come on now!
Wh-Where ar... are you?
574
00:50:12,775 --> 00:50:15,710
Penny!
What are you doing?
575
00:50:15,778 --> 00:50:17,507
That you, Willie?
576
00:50:19,482 --> 00:50:22,451
What are you doing
wandering around? Shut up!
577
00:50:25,088 --> 00:50:28,023
What's going on here?
578
00:50:32,061 --> 00:50:35,053
I couldn't sleep,
so I decided to take a walk.
579
00:50:35,131 --> 00:50:37,258
That's all.
580
00:50:37,333 --> 00:50:41,770
Well, you'd be lonesome, too,
if your husband were on guard duty.
581
00:50:41,838 --> 00:50:44,170
It's our wedding night.
582
00:50:48,511 --> 00:50:52,003
Lovers' quarrel, that's all.
All right, back to bed.
583
00:50:53,449 --> 00:50:57,408
Gosh, honey, I didn't realize
you missed me so much.
584
00:50:59,289 --> 00:51:01,757
I wonder what she's up to.
585
00:51:01,824 --> 00:51:04,918
Don't you get it, Zack?
She's got the sweets on me.
586
00:51:04,994 --> 00:51:07,690
I have the same trouble
every place I go.
587
00:51:07,764 --> 00:51:11,165
Women just come runnin' after me,
wantin' to kiss me on the mouth.
588
00:51:38,661 --> 00:51:41,755
Everybody up.! Everybody up.!
589
00:53:10,286 --> 00:53:14,086
Indians! Indians!
590
00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:17,752
Hyah!
591
00:53:26,769 --> 00:53:28,703
What'll we do?
592
00:53:28,771 --> 00:53:31,433
Take cover and start
using that six-gun!
593
00:54:59,028 --> 00:54:59,960
They're Winchesters.
594
00:55:00,029 --> 00:55:01,963
The Heywood wagon.
It ain't with us.
595
00:55:02,031 --> 00:55:04,693
Remington! Tyler!
Some of you men, let's go!
596
00:55:13,943 --> 00:55:16,844
Get back here, you idiot.!
597
00:55:37,233 --> 00:55:39,929
Bang.
598
00:55:47,977 --> 00:55:50,878
Are you all right?
Uh-huh. Yeah. Fine.
599
00:55:50,947 --> 00:55:52,972
Uh, I didn't know
you could shoot like that.
600
00:55:53,049 --> 00:55:54,949
Huh, I didn't know it myself!
601
00:56:10,733 --> 00:56:12,860
Who'd have believed it?
602
00:56:12,935 --> 00:56:14,835
That Doc's a gutty little cuss.
603
00:56:32,121 --> 00:56:34,180
Which one's Doc Heywood?
Right there.
604
00:56:34,257 --> 00:56:36,191
There he is! Hey! Doc!
605
00:56:49,639 --> 00:56:51,573
The greatest!
Attaboy, Doc!
606
00:56:51,641 --> 00:56:54,633
To Doc Heywood,
Indian fighter!
607
00:56:56,345 --> 00:56:59,712
Say, Doc, tell us just how
you killed all them Indians.
608
00:56:59,782 --> 00:57:01,716
Give him a chance to clear
the dust out ofhis throat.
609
00:57:01,784 --> 00:57:03,718
Come on, Doc.
Drink up.!
610
00:57:03,786 --> 00:57:07,722
Oh. Well.
611
00:57:07,790 --> 00:57:09,690
Hmm.
612
00:57:18,134 --> 00:57:21,160
It doesn't pay to drink
too fast when you're thirsty.
613
00:57:21,237 --> 00:57:23,137
That was good, though.
Was good.
614
00:57:25,508 --> 00:57:30,673
Say, Doc, now we hear tell that you
fell far behind the main wagon train.
615
00:57:30,746 --> 00:57:32,646
How did that happen?
616
00:57:34,617 --> 00:57:37,552
Well, I'll tell you.
617
00:57:37,620 --> 00:57:40,054
That was on purpose.
618
00:57:40,122 --> 00:57:43,148
There was a reason for that.
619
00:57:43,225 --> 00:57:46,683
You see, it was
all part of the plan.
620
00:57:46,762 --> 00:57:49,162
It was all
part of the plan!
621
00:57:50,933 --> 00:57:54,960
As I said,
it was all part of the plan.
622
00:57:55,037 --> 00:57:59,303
See, I'd been spotting their signs
for quite a while.
623
00:57:59,375 --> 00:58:03,812
He was a-spottin'
their signs!
624
00:58:03,879 --> 00:58:07,110
One, maybe two months.
625
00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:10,778
And then a plan began
a-formulatin' in my mind.
626
00:58:10,853 --> 00:58:13,754
Then a plan began
a-formulatin' in his mind!
627
00:58:16,425 --> 00:58:20,327
I figured I'd lay back a ways
and draw 'em off the main body.
628
00:58:22,932 --> 00:58:26,163
That was to give the wagon train
a chance to get away.
629
00:58:26,235 --> 00:58:29,136
Chance to get away! You
wanna let me tell this, fella?
630
00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:38,008
See, there's one thing you gotta
keep in mind about Indians.
631
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:41,516
Them Indians is ten times
as scared as you are...
632
00:58:43,919 --> 00:58:47,047
Didn't mean to scare
Indian fighter.
633
00:58:47,123 --> 00:58:51,423
You character. One of ours.
634
00:58:56,732 --> 00:58:59,860
I wonder.
What?
635
00:58:59,935 --> 00:59:03,837
If that skinny little Philadelphia
jasper could be a federal agent.
636
00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:09,205
He sure looks like
a dentist to me.
637
00:59:09,278 --> 00:59:11,269
How would you know?
638
00:59:11,347 --> 00:59:14,111
You ain't never seen
a dentist in your life.
639
00:59:15,284 --> 00:59:18,185
No need to poke fun
at my only weak point.
640
00:59:26,095 --> 00:59:28,029
I don't know what
you're talking about, lady.
641
00:59:28,097 --> 00:59:30,361
I'm a roofer.
Been a roofer all my life.
642
00:59:30,433 --> 00:59:32,731
Don't know nothing
about the federal government.
643
00:59:32,802 --> 00:59:36,738
Sam Huggins would be talking
to you now, but they shot him.
644
00:59:38,707 --> 00:59:40,607
Get in the wagon.
645
01:00:11,841 --> 01:00:15,004
I knew it!
That whole dentist outfit was a dodge.
646
01:00:15,077 --> 01:00:17,671
Look at those clothes.
He's a gunny for sure.
647
01:00:39,935 --> 01:00:42,267
Yep, Matthew. That's our man.
We've gotta get rid of him.
648
01:00:42,338 --> 01:00:44,272
How you gonna do it?
649
01:00:44,340 --> 01:00:47,935
Simple. I'll have you pick a fight
with him. Gun him down in the street.
650
01:00:48,010 --> 01:00:52,140
Now, wait a minute, Reverend.
I ain't gonna tangle with him.
651
01:00:52,214 --> 01:00:54,739
What's the matter?
'Fraid he'll kill you?
652
01:00:54,817 --> 01:00:57,718
That's part of it. The main
thing is if he nicks me,
653
01:00:57,786 --> 01:01:00,755
why, the scar
will just ruin my looks.
654
01:01:21,744 --> 01:01:23,644
I'll get a professional.
655
01:01:25,314 --> 01:01:27,680
I hear that Arnold the Kid's in town.
656
01:01:27,750 --> 01:01:30,184
Good!
657
01:01:30,252 --> 01:01:33,710
Heck, you're always better off
with a specialist, anyway.
658
01:01:33,789 --> 01:01:35,723
Yeah?
659
01:01:35,791 --> 01:01:39,090
Well, I'll sure know where to look
if I ever need a coward.
660
01:01:39,161 --> 01:01:41,061
Yep.
661
01:01:45,634 --> 01:01:49,035
Arnold, kill Heywood,
I'll give you $600.
662
01:01:51,774 --> 01:01:55,733
All right.
I'll give you $850.
663
01:01:58,714 --> 01:02:00,739
All right.
I'll give you $ 1,000.
664
01:02:26,208 --> 01:02:28,176
They told me this outfit
was an original.
665
01:02:28,244 --> 01:02:30,178
Get out of my way.
666
01:02:30,246 --> 01:02:32,180
What?
667
01:02:32,248 --> 01:02:35,046
You heard me.
Get out of my way!
668
01:02:36,252 --> 01:02:38,846
Well, now. Just who
do you think you are?
669
01:02:40,289 --> 01:02:42,189
Arnold the Kid.
670
01:02:45,494 --> 01:02:48,019
Doc the Heywood.
671
01:02:49,131 --> 01:02:51,099
That name don't scare you?
672
01:02:54,370 --> 01:02:58,329
It scares me this much.
673
01:03:22,431 --> 01:03:24,524
All right, Mr. Kid.
674
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:26,625
Now you've gone
just a little bit too far.
675
01:03:26,702 --> 01:03:28,670
You're really asking for it.
676
01:03:29,872 --> 01:03:31,806
Make your play!
677
01:03:31,874 --> 01:03:34,900
I'll make my play.
I'll make my play.
678
01:03:40,316 --> 01:03:42,250
Ippity-doo, kanaba dip,
679
01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:45,446
double dare,
knock off the chip!
680
01:03:45,521 --> 01:03:47,455
Now, what's this all about?
681
01:03:47,523 --> 01:03:50,356
You wanna know what that's all about?
I'll tell you what that's all about.
682
01:03:50,426 --> 01:03:53,554
You knock off that chip
and you'll see what it's all about.
683
01:04:03,605 --> 01:04:05,698
Uh-huh. Okay.
All right.
684
01:04:05,774 --> 01:04:08,038
Okay. I'm gonna tell you
something right now.
685
01:04:08,110 --> 01:04:11,204
You just happen to know what I did?
Do you happen to know what I did?
686
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,214
Well, I'll tell you what I did!
687
01:04:13,282 --> 01:04:16,615
I killed twelve Indians
and two horses in one fight.
688
01:04:16,685 --> 01:04:19,415
Now, how do you like
those bananas?
689
01:04:23,559 --> 01:04:25,584
Pass the word to clear the street.
690
01:04:25,661 --> 01:04:28,061
I'll meet you here in half an hour.
691
01:04:33,068 --> 01:04:34,968
Wear your gun.
692
01:05:00,262 --> 01:05:04,062
Hey, I think you might have
something with that Minister Gant.
693
01:05:04,133 --> 01:05:06,465
They checked on him back East,
and he ain't no Pentecostal.
694
01:05:06,535 --> 01:05:08,469
And he sure ain't no Mormon.
695
01:05:08,537 --> 01:05:12,029
They couldn't find one persuasion
that ever heard tell ofhim.
696
01:05:12,107 --> 01:05:15,304
Those Bible boxes
were sure long and heavy.
697
01:05:15,377 --> 01:05:18,505
Hey, maybe you and your husband
could scout around the church.
698
01:05:18,580 --> 01:05:20,514
See what's in them boxes.
699
01:05:21,583 --> 01:05:23,813
Forget my husband.
700
01:05:23,886 --> 01:05:28,050
He's just some Philadelphia jay
I got tied up with to get me out here.
701
01:05:28,123 --> 01:05:30,591
The sooner I get rid of him,
the better.
702
01:05:30,659 --> 01:05:33,287
Appears to me like
he could be of some help.
703
01:05:33,362 --> 01:05:35,489
I hear he's pretty good
with a six-gun.
704
01:06:23,445 --> 01:06:25,379
What's going on?
705
01:06:25,447 --> 01:06:27,677
That's Heywood
out there practicing.
706
01:06:27,749 --> 01:06:29,683
I heard two shots.
707
01:06:30,886 --> 01:06:33,480
That means, uh,
he's got four to go.
708
01:07:29,478 --> 01:07:33,278
That's six. Call him out.
709
01:07:40,422 --> 01:07:42,652
Heywood!
710
01:07:44,993 --> 01:07:46,927
Did you want me for something?
711
01:07:48,964 --> 01:07:51,159
It's been exactly a half hour.
712
01:07:51,233 --> 01:07:53,895
Mm-hmm.
713
01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:29,296
Heywood, I'm even gonna
let you draw first.
714
01:08:30,973 --> 01:08:32,907
Thank you.
715
01:08:43,952 --> 01:08:46,716
Oooh! Aah!
716
01:08:51,793 --> 01:08:54,591
A seven-shooter?
717
01:09:08,543 --> 01:09:10,477
Hey! Great! Attaboy!
718
01:09:13,248 --> 01:09:15,682
What'd you do that for?
719
01:09:15,751 --> 01:09:17,912
I thought you wanted
to get rid of that jay.
720
01:09:20,188 --> 01:09:23,624
I don't know.
Something just come over me.
721
01:09:26,895 --> 01:09:29,625
Great work, Doc.
You showed them.
722
01:09:29,698 --> 01:09:32,599
Atta way, Doc.
Boy, you sure are something.
723
01:09:35,170 --> 01:09:37,866
Excuse me.
Excuse me, fellas. Excuse me.
724
01:09:37,939 --> 01:09:40,840
Uh, Penny!
Penny!
725
01:09:40,909 --> 01:09:43,605
Did you hear about it?
I heard.
726
01:09:43,679 --> 01:09:46,170
'Bout the only thing that saved me
was the old killer instinct.
727
01:09:46,248 --> 01:09:48,182
Uh-huh.
728
01:09:48,250 --> 01:09:51,811
What about supper? I've got
something to do. I'll see you later.
729
01:09:51,887 --> 01:09:54,515
But I ain't seen you all day. Doc
Heywood! The sheriff wants you!
730
01:09:54,589 --> 01:09:56,523
Who? The sheriff wants to see you.
731
01:09:56,591 --> 01:09:59,025
Just a minute, son. Penny,
look... He says it's important!
732
01:10:01,096 --> 01:10:04,361
Well, all right. Where are you
gonna be later? I'll be around.
733
01:10:04,433 --> 01:10:06,765
Yeah.
734
01:10:06,835 --> 01:10:09,599
Darn women. So excitable.
735
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:13,974
Whenever you're ready, Leonard.
736
01:10:14,042 --> 01:10:16,010
Hold it like that now.
737
01:10:16,078 --> 01:10:18,273
That's dandy.
738
01:10:18,346 --> 01:10:20,644
Thank you.
739
01:10:20,716 --> 01:10:23,184
There. That'll be
a real nice picture for us.
740
01:10:23,251 --> 01:10:26,618
The man who got Arnold the Kid. Well.
741
01:10:26,688 --> 01:10:28,622
I guess we don't need this anymore.
742
01:10:28,690 --> 01:10:31,250
Oh, say. Can I have that? I'd kind
of like to keep it for a souvenir.
743
01:10:31,326 --> 01:10:33,260
Sure, Doc.
Help yourself.
744
01:10:33,328 --> 01:10:36,092
Leonard, get that picture
developed as soon as you can.
745
01:10:36,164 --> 01:10:38,098
Here, you want me
to give you a hand with this?
746
01:10:38,166 --> 01:10:40,100
Yes, please.
747
01:10:51,413 --> 01:10:53,677
There we are.
748
01:10:53,749 --> 01:10:55,683
Oh. Excuse me.
749
01:11:07,162 --> 01:11:10,222
Uh, have you seen
this "ladiola"?
750
01:11:10,298 --> 01:11:13,199
Ah, s�, si.!
Senora dentista. Aqui.
751
01:11:13,268 --> 01:11:15,202
The church?
Aqui.
752
01:11:15,270 --> 01:11:17,431
Gracias, senor.
753
01:11:29,451 --> 01:11:31,681
Penny!
754
01:11:31,753 --> 01:11:33,948
Hold it!
What's the matter?
755
01:11:34,022 --> 01:11:36,456
Thought I heard
something.
756
01:11:36,525 --> 01:11:39,653
Penny!
757
01:12:07,856 --> 01:12:09,790
Oooh! Aah!
758
01:12:27,442 --> 01:12:30,377
Penny!
Shut up.!
759
01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:42,118
Penny!
Keep it quiet!
760
01:12:44,192 --> 01:12:46,126
I've been looking
all over town for you.
761
01:12:46,194 --> 01:12:48,754
What do you want?
762
01:12:48,830 --> 01:12:51,060
Is that you?
763
01:12:51,132 --> 01:12:53,066
Yes, that's me.
764
01:12:53,134 --> 01:12:55,534
I'll explain one of these days,
but not right now.
765
01:12:57,539 --> 01:12:59,473
I can't believe this!
I just can't...
766
01:12:59,541 --> 01:13:02,374
You mean you're a thief? A cattle
rustler? What's this all about?
767
01:13:02,444 --> 01:13:06,039
I'll explain it later. Right now
I'm on government business.
768
01:13:06,114 --> 01:13:09,174
Like what? Like stealing rifles
from a nice church?
769
01:13:09,251 --> 01:13:11,242
Shhh!
770
01:13:12,721 --> 01:13:15,053
It's her. She's the agent. Let's get her.
771
01:13:15,123 --> 01:13:18,422
No. Not now. Let's wait till
Doc Heywood ain't here.
772
01:13:18,493 --> 01:13:20,427
Come on. Out.
773
01:13:20,495 --> 01:13:23,430
It's really none of your business.
Now, let's get out of here.
774
01:13:29,104 --> 01:13:32,835
Government business? What kind of
government business? Hold your voice down!
775
01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:35,342
But I don't get it.
One minute you're a bank robber,
776
01:13:35,410 --> 01:13:37,344
the next minute
you're working for the government.
777
01:13:37,412 --> 01:13:40,472
All right. It's true.
778
01:13:40,548 --> 01:13:43,073
I am Bad Penny Cushings.
779
01:13:43,151 --> 01:13:46,245
But the government said they'd clean
up my record if I did this job for them.
780
01:13:46,321 --> 01:13:48,255
What job?
781
01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:50,257
I can't tell you any more.
782
01:13:54,429 --> 01:13:56,863
Now, look. I don't know
if you realize it,
783
01:13:56,932 --> 01:13:59,457
but our marriage
is getting pretty shaky.
784
01:13:59,534 --> 01:14:01,502
Now, I want to know
what's going on.
785
01:14:01,569 --> 01:14:03,503
All right.
786
01:14:03,571 --> 01:14:05,971
Now, can I count on you to
keep this quiet? Of course!
787
01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:08,669
Hold your voice down.
Of course.
788
01:14:08,743 --> 01:14:10,677
The government
promised me amnesty...
789
01:14:10,745 --> 01:14:14,010
if I found out who's
smuggling rifles to the Indians.
790
01:14:14,082 --> 01:14:16,107
It's Gant and Basch!
791
01:14:16,184 --> 01:14:18,175
Gant and Basch?
792
01:14:18,253 --> 01:14:20,483
The minister and
his loyal minion?
793
01:14:20,555 --> 01:14:23,490
He's no minister.
And he's no minion.
794
01:14:36,304 --> 01:14:39,205
I don't know, Penny.
Everything's just moving too fast.
795
01:14:39,274 --> 01:14:41,834
First you came to me
with a toothache; we got married;
796
01:14:41,910 --> 01:14:44,902
we got on the wagon train;
bang, bang, bang; hurray, hurray.
797
01:14:44,980 --> 01:14:48,313
Then I found out you're a crook. Then you're
not a crook, you're working with the government.
798
01:14:48,383 --> 01:14:50,783
Everything's just moving too fast.
799
01:14:50,852 --> 01:14:53,821
Poor little dude.
You're tired, aren't you?
800
01:14:53,888 --> 01:14:55,822
Mm-hmm.
801
01:14:55,890 --> 01:14:59,189
Well, I think the best thing to do
is to go to bed.
802
01:14:59,260 --> 01:15:01,194
Huh?
803
01:15:01,262 --> 01:15:04,857
I said I think the best thing to do
is to go to bed.
804
01:15:06,401 --> 01:15:08,335
Are you changing?
805
01:15:08,403 --> 01:15:10,803
Uh-huh.
806
01:15:12,440 --> 01:15:14,374
I'll just change
in the closet.
807
01:16:03,825 --> 01:16:06,293
You can't sleep like that!
Those spurs'll kill me!
808
01:16:06,361 --> 01:16:08,659
I've got to get to Fort Tyler
to get the military.
809
01:16:08,730 --> 01:16:11,790
But you said...
I mean, I thought that we...
810
01:16:11,866 --> 01:16:13,800
Fort Tyler?
811
01:16:13,868 --> 01:16:17,964
Don't you understand? If the Indians get
those rifles, they'll wipe out this town.
812
01:16:18,039 --> 01:16:20,337
Oh. Yeah.
813
01:16:20,408 --> 01:16:24,139
Yeah, well, I better come with you.
I'm pretty handy with a gun, you know.
814
01:16:24,212 --> 01:16:28,410
I'm afraid not, dentist. You couldn't
hit a bleeding elephant in the snow.
815
01:16:28,483 --> 01:16:30,417
Are you kiddin'?
816
01:16:30,485 --> 01:16:33,648
Twelve Indians, two horses
and Arnold the Kid.
817
01:16:33,721 --> 01:16:35,655
Look, you might
as well know.
818
01:16:35,723 --> 01:16:38,123
I shot the Indians
from inside the wagon.
819
01:16:38,193 --> 01:16:40,661
And Arnold the Kid
from the window.
820
01:16:42,263 --> 01:16:44,197
What?
821
01:16:44,265 --> 01:16:46,665
You mean, I didn't...
822
01:16:46,734 --> 01:16:50,226
I mean, none of those...
823
01:16:50,305 --> 01:16:53,240
Nobody?
Nobody.
824
01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:01,178
I'm sorry to have
to tell you that, dentist.
825
01:17:01,249 --> 01:17:03,581
But I wouldn't want you
to come with me.
826
01:17:03,651 --> 01:17:05,585
You might get hurt.
827
01:17:07,188 --> 01:17:09,122
Are you coming back?
828
01:17:09,190 --> 01:17:12,455
I'm afraid not.
But...
829
01:17:12,527 --> 01:17:15,018
But you're my wife.
830
01:17:16,431 --> 01:17:18,490
That was just to get
on the wagon train.
831
01:17:22,337 --> 01:17:24,271
I'm sorry.
832
01:17:30,712 --> 01:17:33,613
Vaya con Dios, amigo.
833
01:17:38,019 --> 01:17:39,953
Gracias.
834
01:17:47,395 --> 01:17:49,329
There he is! Hey!
835
01:18:02,377 --> 01:18:04,845
Attaboy!
All the way down!
836
01:18:09,751 --> 01:18:12,185
Hold it, please.
Just a minute.
837
01:18:13,955 --> 01:18:18,790
Uh, there's something that l...
838
01:18:18,860 --> 01:18:20,794
I have to tell you.
839
01:18:20,862 --> 01:18:22,796
Come on, Doc.
Speak up.
840
01:18:28,903 --> 01:18:30,837
No. No more.
841
01:18:33,808 --> 01:18:37,642
Now, I don't want you to think
that I'm not grateful for the drinks,
842
01:18:37,712 --> 01:18:41,546
and for your all being
so nice and everything.
843
01:18:41,616 --> 01:18:46,053
But, uh, well, I'm just
gonna tell you straight out.
844
01:18:48,756 --> 01:18:54,592
Doc the Heywood,
the well-known Indian fighter,
845
01:18:54,662 --> 01:18:57,130
is a fake.
846
01:18:58,266 --> 01:19:01,667
It's true! It is absolutely true!
847
01:19:01,736 --> 01:19:05,763
Just as long as I'm standing here,
right here, right now. It's the truth.
848
01:19:05,840 --> 01:19:08,035
Well, Doc, somebody
killed them dozen Indians.
849
01:19:08,109 --> 01:19:10,043
Now, who killed 'em?
850
01:19:11,212 --> 01:19:13,305
My wife.
851
01:19:13,381 --> 01:19:16,373
Just a second.!
852
01:19:16,451 --> 01:19:19,284
Just a second.
Hold 'er up.
853
01:19:19,354 --> 01:19:22,915
You got the Kid because
we all seen it. Right!
854
01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:27,121
You got him... zang! With one
shot while you was a-fallin' down!
855
01:19:27,195 --> 01:19:29,129
That's right!
Clean shot!
856
01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:31,131
My wife got him
from a window.
857
01:19:31,199 --> 01:19:35,465
I wasted all my shots like a
darned dumbbell! Don't you remember?
858
01:19:37,505 --> 01:19:40,497
I shot two at the can,
859
01:19:40,575 --> 01:19:42,873
two at the sign,
860
01:19:42,944 --> 01:19:44,969
one at the skillet...
861
01:19:47,448 --> 01:19:49,507
and one in the pants.
862
01:19:51,919 --> 01:19:54,080
All right now!
Hold it! Hold it!
863
01:19:54,155 --> 01:19:57,556
I was watchin' the whole thing.
Now, let's see. There was, uh,
864
01:19:57,625 --> 01:20:00,719
there was two at the can,
865
01:20:00,795 --> 01:20:02,956
two at the sign,
866
01:20:03,031 --> 01:20:06,626
one at the skillet...
867
01:20:06,701 --> 01:20:08,931
and one in the pants.
868
01:20:09,003 --> 01:20:11,130
Two in the can,
869
01:20:11,205 --> 01:20:14,470
two at the sign,
one at the skillet...
870
01:20:14,542 --> 01:20:17,875
and one in the pants.
871
01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:55,638
Oh! Oh!
Help! Aaah!
872
01:20:56,718 --> 01:20:59,152
Failure, failure, failure.
873
01:20:59,220 --> 01:21:02,587
failure, failure,
failure, failure.
874
01:21:02,657 --> 01:21:05,785
That's the story
of my life, you know.
875
01:21:05,860 --> 01:21:10,729
Two things have always
been my downfall.
876
01:21:11,799 --> 01:21:14,996
I have always been...
877
01:21:15,069 --> 01:21:18,163
the most failure
of anybody,
878
01:21:18,239 --> 01:21:21,675
and I'm too thin.
879
01:21:21,743 --> 01:21:24,234
I don't think you're too thin.
880
01:21:24,312 --> 01:21:27,941
It's all bloat.
881
01:21:28,015 --> 01:21:31,576
Bloated thin failure!
That's me!
882
01:21:31,652 --> 01:21:34,382
I think you're wonderful.
883
01:21:34,455 --> 01:21:37,049
I just love a man
that can't make his...
884
01:21:37,125 --> 01:21:39,059
mark in life.
885
01:21:41,262 --> 01:21:46,290
Penny, hmm. Penny, she's
really somethin', you know that?
886
01:21:46,367 --> 01:21:49,063
Mmm-mm.
Mmm.
887
01:21:49,137 --> 01:21:51,071
And she used me.
888
01:21:51,139 --> 01:21:54,836
And she... she tricked me.
889
01:21:54,909 --> 01:21:57,673
She made me think...
890
01:21:57,745 --> 01:21:59,713
that she loved me.
891
01:21:59,781 --> 01:22:02,113
Aww.
892
01:22:03,618 --> 01:22:06,052
I should've known better.
893
01:22:08,256 --> 01:22:10,690
Nobody ever loved me.
894
01:22:12,527 --> 01:22:17,328
Did you know I had to take my own
cousin to the graduation dance?
895
01:22:18,399 --> 01:22:20,424
Awww.
896
01:22:22,637 --> 01:22:24,798
I threw up on her dress.
897
01:22:24,872 --> 01:22:29,309
You are really my kind of guy.
898
01:22:39,454 --> 01:22:42,685
I got on a romance track.
899
01:22:42,757 --> 01:22:45,692
Then I got
on a gunslinger's track.
900
01:22:47,128 --> 01:22:50,063
I gotta get back
on that dentist's track.
901
01:22:53,267 --> 01:22:55,735
Go ahead. Laugh!
902
01:22:55,803 --> 01:22:58,499
Laugh all you like.
903
01:22:58,573 --> 01:23:00,632
I'm not a failure.
904
01:23:00,708 --> 01:23:03,199
I'm a dentist!
905
01:23:03,277 --> 01:23:06,041
A real dentist.
906
01:23:06,113 --> 01:23:10,277
And I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
907
01:23:10,351 --> 01:23:15,414
I'm gonna spread dental health
through the West like a plague!
908
01:23:17,658 --> 01:23:20,126
Come on. I wanna close up.
909
01:23:27,335 --> 01:23:29,269
Good night, Doc.
910
01:23:34,442 --> 01:23:38,378
Brush your dentist twice a day.
Visit your toothbrush once a year.
911
01:23:56,330 --> 01:23:58,855
Hyah!
912
01:23:58,933 --> 01:24:01,697
Penny.!
913
01:24:01,769 --> 01:24:03,703
Penny!
914
01:24:07,942 --> 01:24:09,876
Penny! Pen...
915
01:24:56,824 --> 01:24:58,758
Water.
916
01:25:20,247 --> 01:25:24,651
Uh!
917
01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:35,790
Water. Water.
918
01:25:35,863 --> 01:25:38,525
I gotta have water. l...
919
01:26:06,360 --> 01:26:09,295
Water. I gotta have water.
920
01:26:23,944 --> 01:26:26,970
Uh! Air! I gotta have air!
921
01:26:27,048 --> 01:26:28,982
Air!
922
01:29:14,582 --> 01:29:16,516
Penny! Penny!
923
01:29:18,586 --> 01:29:21,521
Watay. Watay.!
924
01:29:26,861 --> 01:29:28,795
Watay.
925
01:29:38,606 --> 01:29:41,837
Watay. Watay.
926
01:29:41,909 --> 01:29:46,546
Watay.
927
01:29:51,685 --> 01:29:53,619
How many did we give out?
928
01:29:53,687 --> 01:29:56,554
That tallies 181.
929
01:30:05,833 --> 01:30:08,301
That girl. I think I know her.
930
01:30:08,369 --> 01:30:10,303
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
931
01:30:10,371 --> 01:30:12,965
Isn't that
Laughing Deer's daughter?
932
01:30:13,040 --> 01:30:16,806
No. The Deer girl
married White Antelope.
933
01:30:16,877 --> 01:30:20,938
Rotten Buffalo's cousin? Ohhh!
934
01:30:27,922 --> 01:30:29,856
Ah wan no.
935
01:30:41,402 --> 01:30:44,803
Ah wan no.
936
01:30:47,942 --> 01:30:50,433
Watay.
937
01:30:52,379 --> 01:30:54,313
Watay?
938
01:31:48,035 --> 01:31:51,835
Ah. Ah. Watay?
939
01:31:51,905 --> 01:31:54,339
Watay?
Uh-huh watay.!
940
01:32:02,716 --> 01:32:05,446
Dentist, you're crazy!
Are you all right?
941
01:32:05,519 --> 01:32:08,818
Except for these bindings.
They're killing my hands.
942
01:32:08,889 --> 01:32:12,222
I figure the best time to get out
is after they all get a little drunker.
943
01:32:12,292 --> 01:32:14,226
You know something?
944
01:32:14,294 --> 01:32:16,854
You're a lot spunkier
than I thought you were.
945
01:32:16,930 --> 01:32:19,364
I get that
from my mother.
946
01:32:26,640 --> 01:32:29,074
Sat tey wahn ney.!
947
01:32:34,882 --> 01:32:37,112
He's crazy about me.
948
01:32:37,184 --> 01:32:39,118
Sat tey wahn ney.!
949
01:32:39,186 --> 01:32:41,211
Looks like we're going dancing.
950
01:34:38,939 --> 01:34:42,807
Here. We're gonna need
this when we make our break.
951
01:34:42,876 --> 01:34:44,810
Be careful.
952
01:34:59,393 --> 01:35:02,487
Put me down!
953
01:35:27,854 --> 01:35:29,788
Reverend.
Minion.
954
01:35:30,857 --> 01:35:34,725
Well, now.
If it ain't Doc Heywood,
955
01:35:34,795 --> 01:35:37,286
gunfighter.
956
01:35:40,801 --> 01:35:43,429
Phony gunfighter.
957
01:35:45,305 --> 01:35:49,105
Say, Doc. How 'bout us
havin' a real gunfight, huh?
958
01:35:49,176 --> 01:35:53,636
And to make it even, it'll be just you
against me and the good Reverend here.
959
01:35:53,714 --> 01:35:57,081
Now, uh, what do you
think about that?
960
01:35:58,318 --> 01:36:00,650
You wanna know
what I think about that?
961
01:36:00,721 --> 01:36:03,656
Well, I'll just show you
what I think about that.
962
01:36:07,561 --> 01:36:10,496
Well.
963
01:36:24,077 --> 01:36:26,307
Put it on, Heywood.
964
01:36:52,105 --> 01:36:54,096
Anytime you're ready,
Heywood.
965
01:37:06,386 --> 01:37:08,320
We've got horses right back
there, Penny. Let's go.
966
01:37:08,388 --> 01:37:11,016
Let me go!
Jesse's out there.
967
01:37:11,091 --> 01:37:13,025
Oh, Jesse!
968
01:37:15,329 --> 01:37:17,263
Let's go.
969
01:37:41,555 --> 01:37:43,921
Watay?
970
01:37:51,732 --> 01:37:53,859
Rider coming in!
971
01:38:04,144 --> 01:38:06,078
Get ready.
They're comin'!
972
01:38:06,146 --> 01:38:10,173
Get the women and the kids back into
the church. Get back in the church!
973
01:38:22,496 --> 01:38:26,227
Well, they're sure takin'
their sweet time about it.
974
01:38:26,299 --> 01:38:28,233
Devils!
Hold it.
975
01:38:36,109 --> 01:38:37,940
What the...
976
01:38:41,181 --> 01:38:44,617
Doc Heywood's with 'em.
He sure is.
977
01:38:44,684 --> 01:38:47,084
Open up, boys.
Everything's under control.
978
01:38:50,123 --> 01:38:52,057
Jesse! You're alive!
979
01:38:52,125 --> 01:38:54,059
Yeah! I know.
980
01:38:57,230 --> 01:39:00,927
Take my friend Black Eagle
and fix him up with a big rare steak!
981
01:39:05,105 --> 01:39:08,438
Adjustments are free up to 60 days.
After that, it's a dollar a visit.
982
01:39:12,979 --> 01:39:14,913
I'm so glad you're back.
983
01:39:14,981 --> 01:39:16,915
Me too!
984
01:39:35,101 --> 01:39:37,035
Oh, come on, now.
985
01:39:37,103 --> 01:39:40,266
Come... Come on!
Wait a minute! Wait...