1 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:48,068 Women, they're one of life's great mysteries. 2 00:01:48,193 --> 00:01:52,989 For some guys, women are like a big jigsaw puzzle of pieces that just don't fit. 3 00:01:53,115 --> 00:01:56,034 They think the soul of a woman is darker than a back alley, 4 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:58,370 and more tangled than a telephone cord, 5 00:01:58,495 --> 00:02:01,415 and colder than an Eskimo pie in Anchorage. 6 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:04,292 But those guys don't even have a clue. 7 00:02:04,418 --> 00:02:08,005 When you know women the way I do, you know exactly what makes 'em tick, 8 00:02:08,130 --> 00:02:13,010 what makes 'em hum, what makes 'em jiggle up and down when they walk. 9 00:02:13,135 --> 00:02:16,430 There are two kinds of women, and I've known 'em both. 10 00:02:16,555 --> 00:02:20,559 One'll take you for a fast ride on a bumpy road with no seat belt. 11 00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:24,938 - The other kind is always... - Gee! Knock off the chatter. 12 00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:27,441 I'm just trying to keep you awake. 13 00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:31,695 I'm awake. Why the hell d'you come up with all that crap about women? 14 00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:34,906 It's true. Women are an open book. 15 00:02:36,408 --> 00:02:39,995 You can always tell the rotten apples from the peaches. 16 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,915 - Are you kiddin'? - I would stake my career on it. 17 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:47,085 Anybody ever proves me wrong, I'll throw in my badge. 18 00:02:48,587 --> 00:02:54,718 Damn, I hate stakeouts. What makes you think that lowlife crook will show up here? 19 00:02:54,843 --> 00:03:00,724 Logic. He knocked off all those banks. He's got cash. He's gonna wanna spend it. 20 00:03:00,849 --> 00:03:03,518 This is one of the few places that still takes cash. 21 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:05,562 How will we recognise this scumbag? 22 00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:10,275 The Support Hose Bandit? You see him, you'll know him. 23 00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:19,117 These are the best damn nachos outside of Detroit, Michigan. 24 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,286 I'm gonna go get some more. 25 00:03:25,624 --> 00:03:27,668 Got a light? 26 00:03:29,878 --> 00:03:31,922 Sure. 27 00:03:32,756 --> 00:03:34,800 How about a match? 28 00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,428 No, thanks. I have plenty. 29 00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:49,147 You really are incredibly stupid, aren't you? I like that in a man. 30 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:52,943 I'd be insulted, but I know you're serious. 31 00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:57,197 - You sound so sure of yourself. - I don't look as dumb as I am. 32 00:03:57,322 --> 00:04:01,451 - Let me buy you a drink, Mr...? - Ravine. Ned Ravine, and I'm on duty. 33 00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:04,204 - Brain surgeon? - Cop. 34 00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:07,708 - Bet you have a big gun. - Well, you lose. 35 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:11,753 Well, if I can't buy you a drink, how about one of those? 36 00:04:11,878 --> 00:04:14,881 - Who can say no to a wiener? - Not me. 37 00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:19,094 Two dogs, hot. 38 00:04:19,219 --> 00:04:21,263 You got it. 39 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:28,979 You come here often? 40 00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:33,025 Only when I'm... in heat. 41 00:04:40,824 --> 00:04:43,577 I'm terribly sorry. 42 00:04:43,702 --> 00:04:46,455 Let me just... 43 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:01,053 - Where are you going? - To get something to wipe that off. 44 00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:05,098 - You were doing just fine. - I'll get you a wet paper towel. 45 00:05:13,357 --> 00:05:17,319 - Hold it right there, Milo. - Look out! He's got a weenie. 46 00:05:21,323 --> 00:05:22,908 Do you mind? 47 00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:32,292 Hey! Outta the car! Outta the car! And leave the key! 48 00:05:34,378 --> 00:05:36,838 Police emergency. I need your vehicle. 49 00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:40,967 Hey! Hey! I'm driving here! I'm driving here! 50 00:05:41,885 --> 00:05:45,639 All right! Pull it over. Last warning! Pull it over! 51 00:05:45,764 --> 00:05:49,559 - Don't be a fool. Give yourself up. - You'll never take me alive! 52 00:05:49,685 --> 00:05:53,105 Stop your vehicle and get out of the car! 53 00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:04,324 Arch! 54 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,873 Freeze, Milo! 55 00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:25,679 I hate that! 56 00:06:34,646 --> 00:06:35,480 What the...? 57 00:06:35,605 --> 00:06:39,735 You're probably not familiar with the theory of inverse explosive dynamics. 58 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:42,571 - What about it? - If you fire with the barrel obstructed 59 00:06:42,696 --> 00:06:48,285 the explosive force multiplies by 23.598, reverses on itself with a diametric polarity. 60 00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:50,037 Yeah? So? 61 00:06:50,162 --> 00:06:53,999 So that gun will blow up in your hand, Milo. I won't even scorch my pinky. 62 00:06:54,124 --> 00:06:58,462 Ha! That's just theoretical hypothesis. Inverse explosive dynamics 63 00:06:58,587 --> 00:07:02,049 has never been proven conclusively in a laboratory environment. 64 00:07:02,174 --> 00:07:04,468 Pull the trigger, smart guy. 65 00:07:04,593 --> 00:07:06,803 Let's find out. 66 00:07:14,686 --> 00:07:17,397 "You have the right to remain silent." Next. 67 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:20,067 "If you waive that right, anything you say..." Next. 68 00:07:20,192 --> 00:07:22,903 "may be used against you in a court of law." Next. 69 00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:25,614 "You have the right to an attorney." 70 00:07:25,739 --> 00:07:27,949 - Do you have an attorney? - Nah. 71 00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,995 I guess today is your lucky day. 72 00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:35,916 "Ned Ravine. Defence Attorney." 73 00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:49,221 Baby. 74 00:07:55,519 --> 00:07:59,856 - How was that, baby? - Not bad for an auto mechanic. 75 00:08:00,232 --> 00:08:03,694 You're not so bad yourself, for a lawyer's wife. 76 00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:12,869 You'd better watch your tongue, baby, or I'll have my husband arrest you. 77 00:08:19,751 --> 00:08:23,005 Busy man. Cop and a lawyer. 78 00:08:23,130 --> 00:08:26,049 - When does he ever find time for you? - He doesn't. 79 00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:29,219 That's why I need you to keep my engine tuned. 80 00:08:30,846 --> 00:08:34,224 Why drive a jalopy when you can have a hot rod? 81 00:08:35,892 --> 00:08:40,397 Well, maybe you should trade him in on a new model. 82 00:08:41,565 --> 00:08:44,693 I would if I could make any money on the deal. 83 00:08:54,953 --> 00:08:57,164 Wanna go for another test-drive? 84 00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:04,129 Pull over and park it, Frank. I'm still under warranty. 85 00:09:24,691 --> 00:09:28,070 Good morning, sweetheart. 86 00:09:28,195 --> 00:09:31,823 - You want some coffee? - No, thanks. I gotta run. 87 00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:36,870 Frank here was just grabbing a little before getting back to work on my car. 88 00:09:37,746 --> 00:09:40,332 How long you been working on Lana's Mercedes? 89 00:09:40,457 --> 00:09:44,461 - I don't know. Six, seven weeks. - You still haven't found a problem? 90 00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:48,507 - Think I got my finger on it, though. - See, I know what he's doin'. 91 00:09:48,632 --> 00:09:52,511 He's not fixing your car, honey. He's screwing you. 92 00:09:54,596 --> 00:09:58,266 You are screwin' my wife. 93 00:09:59,601 --> 00:10:01,978 I can see what your game is, Frank. 94 00:10:02,104 --> 00:10:06,233 You open up the hood, you poke around, you play around with all the parts. 95 00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:09,277 You squirt some lubrication in. 96 00:10:09,403 --> 00:10:13,865 And you take some old, used piston, and you stick it in, and you pull it out. 97 00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:18,453 In, out, in, out, in, out. There's no end to it. You just keep comin' and comin'. 98 00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:22,916 And the bills get bigger. You're not getting away with it, cos you're fired. 99 00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:26,044 Ned, don't you have to be somewhere? 100 00:10:26,461 --> 00:10:30,549 I'm late for court. You're so naive. 101 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,761 You don't see the evil in people like him. 102 00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:51,987 You, finish your coffee and get out. 103 00:10:55,574 --> 00:10:58,076 Who's that? 104 00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:02,122 It's just the postman. He always rings twice. 105 00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:14,426 Now, let's see here. Manson appeal. Bundy appeal. Dahmer appeal. 106 00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,845 - Laura, do you know where the...? - Here. 107 00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:20,849 The judge decided to skip the arraignment and take Milo direct to trial. 108 00:11:20,974 --> 00:11:23,518 I suggest you try Lemming versus Florida, 1956, 109 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:27,314 where the guy jumped in the water and everybody followed. 110 00:11:27,439 --> 00:11:30,025 That's a good idea. 111 00:11:31,318 --> 00:11:33,362 I better get goin'. 112 00:11:37,699 --> 00:11:40,410 I don't know what I'd do without you, Laura. 113 00:11:43,622 --> 00:11:45,666 Really? 114 00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:51,630 - How long have you worked for me? - 2 years, 7 months, 23 days, 19 hours, 115 00:11:51,755 --> 00:11:54,257 6 minutes and 52 seconds. 116 00:11:54,383 --> 00:11:58,011 When was the last time I gave you a raise? 117 00:11:58,136 --> 00:12:00,180 Never. 118 00:12:02,349 --> 00:12:04,726 That's OK. I don't need a raise. 119 00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:15,445 In fact, I was thinking of giving you a rebate on my salary. 120 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:21,118 No, that's OK. 121 00:12:21,243 --> 00:12:23,745 You keep it. 122 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,723 Did we forget something, sweetheart? 123 00:12:54,276 --> 00:12:58,488 No! No! No! 124 00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:01,074 Laura, what is it? 125 00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:06,371 I just get a little claustrophobic in the bathroom. 126 00:13:06,496 --> 00:13:09,124 Maybe you should try some prune juice. 127 00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:23,430 Wear the blue one. 128 00:13:23,555 --> 00:13:26,141 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you, 129 00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:28,685 does this look like the face of a crook? 130 00:13:31,188 --> 00:13:35,525 Of course it does. But my client's guilt or innocence is not the issue here today. 131 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:40,572 Because I'm certain that every member of this jury can see that that man is guilty. 132 00:13:40,697 --> 00:13:43,116 - I can't. - Too bad. 133 00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:47,704 As for the rest of you, I want you to put yourself in his shoes. 134 00:13:47,829 --> 00:13:50,749 See the world through his eyes. 135 00:13:50,874 --> 00:13:53,710 See the world the way he sees it. 136 00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:57,464 Things don't look the same. They're fuzzy. They're frightening. 137 00:13:58,006 --> 00:14:00,759 Milo Crumley's not the perpetrator here today. 138 00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:04,429 He's the victim of tragically difficult economic times. 139 00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:06,598 He can't support a family. 140 00:14:06,723 --> 00:14:09,351 Look at them. 141 00:14:11,728 --> 00:14:14,314 He can't even support his own face. 142 00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:19,986 You cannot chew gum in my courtroom unless you have enough for all of us. 143 00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:23,699 Yeah, I got enough. 144 00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:29,663 And so, desperate and broke, Milo went to 11 savings and loans, 145 00:14:29,788 --> 00:14:32,582 and he did what any of you would have done. 146 00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:36,003 He stole back the money the SandLs had stolen from him! 147 00:14:58,608 --> 00:15:02,487 - I waited. You never came back. - I got busy. 148 00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:06,450 Here's that wet paper towel I promised. 149 00:15:06,575 --> 00:15:08,869 Thanks. 150 00:15:12,289 --> 00:15:14,624 How did you get in? The door was locked. 151 00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:19,129 It's miraculous what a real woman can do with a bobby pin. 152 00:15:24,343 --> 00:15:28,347 - Cigarette? - No, thanks. They're bad for you. 153 00:15:28,472 --> 00:15:30,766 Yes, I know. 154 00:15:32,934 --> 00:15:35,562 I like things that are bad for me. 155 00:15:37,064 --> 00:15:39,524 So, I hear you go both ways. 156 00:15:43,278 --> 00:15:45,739 Only once. 157 00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:47,908 It was a fraternity prank. 158 00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:52,371 I never saw him again. 159 00:15:52,496 --> 00:15:55,082 No, I mean you're a cop and a lawyer. 160 00:15:55,207 --> 00:15:58,085 Lot of scum out there on the streets. 161 00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:01,129 They all deserve a fair and costly trial. 162 00:16:02,339 --> 00:16:04,549 I'll get that. 163 00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:08,553 - Laura, this is... - Lola Cain. 164 00:16:10,389 --> 00:16:13,141 So lovely to meet you. 165 00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:16,353 Likewise. 166 00:16:16,478 --> 00:16:21,942 Better get these books in the right place, if we're ever going to find the ones we need. 167 00:16:36,164 --> 00:16:39,084 F through U. 168 00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:43,380 - It's getting late. - C through K. 169 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:47,050 - I'll give you a ride home, Ned? - I have my own car. Thanks. 170 00:16:47,175 --> 00:16:48,969 - I'll tow you. - Not today. 171 00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:51,471 No need to wait. I'll see you tomorrow. 172 00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:55,684 Let's see. PDQ through ASAP. 173 00:16:56,393 --> 00:16:59,438 Pu through Po. 174 00:16:59,563 --> 00:17:02,399 - I should call someone to fix this. - Tomorrow. 175 00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:06,653 - I'll call from home. - LBJ through JFK. 176 00:17:06,778 --> 00:17:09,531 - FBl through CIA. - Bye. 177 00:17:10,282 --> 00:17:15,620 - WD40 through... - I think I should warn you, Mr Ravine. 178 00:17:17,789 --> 00:17:20,584 I'm not wearing any underwear. 179 00:17:28,091 --> 00:17:30,469 Try these on. 180 00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:34,097 What can I do for you? 181 00:17:34,222 --> 00:17:37,434 I've run across some papers, 182 00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:41,271 and I thought you might be able to tell me what they are. 183 00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:46,068 You see, I'm not very experienced when it comes to papers. 184 00:17:46,193 --> 00:17:48,945 Well, I'll help you, Miss Cain, if I'm able. 185 00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:54,034 - Do you have the papers here? - No, they're at home. 186 00:17:54,159 --> 00:17:56,578 I thought you might come by. 187 00:17:59,122 --> 00:18:01,750 I'm on duty tonight. 188 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:05,754 - Don't they give you a night off? - Of course. 189 00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:08,757 Christmas. Columbus Day. 190 00:18:08,882 --> 00:18:13,053 Groundhog Day. Doris Day. And tomorrow. 191 00:18:16,098 --> 00:18:19,184 Why don't we meet tomorrow evening, then? 192 00:18:19,309 --> 00:18:23,814 - I'll let you know where. - What's wrong with my office? 193 00:18:23,939 --> 00:18:26,942 Nothing a good interior decorator couldn't fix. 194 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:31,363 Take care of this for me, will ya? 195 00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:44,501 - Where is he? - On duty. 196 00:18:44,626 --> 00:18:48,255 By the time he wraps up his reports, it'll be close to noon tomorrow. 197 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:52,509 I was just reading over my husband's insurance policy. 198 00:18:52,634 --> 00:18:57,389 You wouldn't know anything about insurance? Would you, Frankie? 199 00:18:57,514 --> 00:19:00,434 Yeah. As a matter of fact, I sell policies. 200 00:19:00,559 --> 00:19:04,187 Part time. I got half a brain, or didn't you notice? 201 00:19:04,312 --> 00:19:06,690 I must have had my eye on something else. 202 00:19:06,815 --> 00:19:09,568 So, how about a translation? 203 00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:15,991 - I'd like one of those. - I'll bet you would. Read. 204 00:19:16,116 --> 00:19:20,996 It's a standard accident policy. All the usual stuff. 205 00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:24,833 The face value is... three million bucks. 206 00:19:24,958 --> 00:19:28,086 - And there's a triple-indemnity rider. - Meaning? 207 00:19:28,712 --> 00:19:31,465 If a policy holder dies under specific conditions, 208 00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:35,677 it pays off three times the face value of the policy. 209 00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:39,514 - Nine million dollars? - Yeah, but it's a sure bet for the company. 210 00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:42,809 - Nobody ever collects. - Why not? 211 00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,812 Well, it only pays off if he's shot with a pistol, 212 00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:50,317 falls from a moving northbound train and drowns in a freshwater stream. 213 00:19:50,442 --> 00:19:52,819 Could happen. 214 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:55,906 - Suppose it did happen? - Then you'd be rich. 215 00:19:56,031 --> 00:19:58,700 Then we'd be rich, Frank. 216 00:19:59,951 --> 00:20:02,245 What are you saying? 217 00:20:04,247 --> 00:20:08,543 We're gonna kill the son of a bitch. And I know exactly how. 218 00:20:08,669 --> 00:20:11,505 He has a symposium this weekend in Santa Barbara. 219 00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:14,174 We'll get him to take the train instead of driving. 220 00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:17,761 - Didn't you tell me he hates trains? - That's where you come in. 221 00:20:17,886 --> 00:20:20,347 You're gonna rig his car so it doesn't work. 222 00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,016 That should be no problem for you. 223 00:20:32,734 --> 00:20:36,238 First, we give him a lift to the train station. 224 00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:42,494 Through Dealey Plaza, past the book suppository, and around the grassy knoll. 225 00:20:46,665 --> 00:20:49,292 Isn't that out of our way? 226 00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:52,379 Stay with me, Frank. 227 00:21:00,762 --> 00:21:02,806 Get out of the way, Frank. 228 00:21:05,642 --> 00:21:09,062 Here's the plan. Ten minutes out of the station, 229 00:21:09,187 --> 00:21:13,734 he'll be standing in the vestibule between the cars trying to avoid a panic attack. 230 00:21:13,859 --> 00:21:17,779 14 minutes and ten seconds out, the train crosses the San Ynez River. 231 00:21:17,904 --> 00:21:20,574 So, at 13 minutes and 54 seconds, 232 00:21:20,699 --> 00:21:25,078 I shoot him, shove him out the door, he hits the river and drowns. 233 00:21:25,203 --> 00:21:28,498 Bingo. Triple play. 234 00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:30,667 We're rich. 235 00:21:31,043 --> 00:21:33,503 You've been thinking about this a long time. 236 00:21:33,628 --> 00:21:37,883 No. It just came to me. 237 00:21:41,178 --> 00:21:48,894 I had this image of a big, powerful, throbbing train 238 00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:56,485 plunging into a long, dark tunnel. 239 00:21:56,610 --> 00:21:59,237 Ooop! 240 00:21:59,654 --> 00:22:03,659 A guy can spend too much time on the job and not enough on his wife. 241 00:22:03,742 --> 00:22:06,328 So I knocked off early and headed home to Lana. 242 00:22:06,453 --> 00:22:10,957 She'd been feeling abandoned lately. Sleeping alone in that big, empty house. 243 00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:13,669 I knew what she wanted was to have a baby. 244 00:22:13,794 --> 00:22:17,923 So there'd be someone around to talk to and clean up after. 245 00:22:18,048 --> 00:22:20,509 When you're a cop, you see it all. 246 00:22:20,634 --> 00:22:23,845 And I knew exactly how babies were made. 247 00:22:27,224 --> 00:22:32,062 It had been a long time since I'd felt the soft caress of a hand on my cheek. 248 00:22:33,438 --> 00:22:37,901 Well, the rest would have to wait till morning. 249 00:23:10,517 --> 00:23:14,021 Aw, shit! 250 00:23:16,523 --> 00:23:20,193 Happy birthday, this morning, from Chico, California - 251 00:23:20,318 --> 00:23:23,530 which is right next to Harpo and Groucho - we have Refa Dee... 252 00:23:25,615 --> 00:23:29,328 And we wish her a very, very... 253 00:23:29,453 --> 00:23:31,538 Just go. 254 00:23:32,873 --> 00:23:34,916 Go. 255 00:23:39,129 --> 00:23:41,882 Come on! Think strong. 256 00:24:07,199 --> 00:24:09,034 Damn birds. 257 00:24:10,243 --> 00:24:14,456 Long hours and no sleep were startin' to take their toll. 258 00:24:14,581 --> 00:24:17,125 I couldn't get Lola outta my thoughts. 259 00:24:17,250 --> 00:24:21,380 A woman who doesn't wear panties sticks in your mind, 260 00:24:21,505 --> 00:24:24,091 like peanut butter sticks to your mouth, 261 00:24:24,216 --> 00:24:27,511 or toilet paper sticks to the bottom of a shoe. 262 00:24:27,636 --> 00:24:31,723 But was she real or just a figment of my imagination? 263 00:24:37,604 --> 00:24:40,399 My God, Ned, you look like you were hit by a bus. 264 00:24:40,524 --> 00:24:46,196 I was. Check my insurance policy, will you? Make sure it's paid up. 265 00:24:47,572 --> 00:24:50,283 Good idea. You can never have too much insurance. 266 00:24:50,409 --> 00:24:53,870 Especially since Max Shady is getting out of jail tomorrow. 267 00:24:53,996 --> 00:24:56,498 Is it seven years already? 268 00:24:56,623 --> 00:25:01,044 I had a perfect record till Max came along. It's the only case that I ever lost. 269 00:25:01,169 --> 00:25:04,506 If he hadn't strangled the bailiff, you would have won. 270 00:25:04,631 --> 00:25:06,967 Prison probably did him a lot of good. 271 00:25:07,092 --> 00:25:12,514 Sure he made friends, got a chance to read all the books he never had time for. 272 00:25:12,639 --> 00:25:16,184 Which one? Which one? Which one? 273 00:25:16,309 --> 00:25:19,813 Ned, you're dealing with a violent man. 274 00:25:19,938 --> 00:25:22,399 - The blue one. - I read the court transcript. 275 00:25:22,524 --> 00:25:27,738 When they announced the verdict, Max Shady spit in your face. 276 00:25:27,863 --> 00:25:31,366 He was spitting at the judge, the American justice system. 277 00:25:31,491 --> 00:25:34,995 He wasn't spitting at me. I just happened to be in the way. 278 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:38,623 But what if he still harbours some deep resentment towards you? 279 00:25:38,749 --> 00:25:41,835 You could be in real danger. 280 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,879 What's that? 281 00:25:44,004 --> 00:25:46,965 Your insurance file. 282 00:25:47,090 --> 00:25:50,594 The policy's missing. Wait. Maybe it's in my desk. 283 00:25:50,719 --> 00:25:53,597 You take such good care of me, Laura. 284 00:25:54,848 --> 00:25:59,561 The luckiest guy in the world is gonna be the guy who becomes your husband. 285 00:26:11,948 --> 00:26:13,992 Fix the towels! 286 00:26:21,249 --> 00:26:23,502 Laura! 287 00:26:24,378 --> 00:26:26,963 You can't swim! 288 00:26:45,232 --> 00:26:47,943 No! No! No! 289 00:26:49,444 --> 00:26:52,406 Laura, are you all right? 290 00:26:57,202 --> 00:26:59,788 That was a very long flashback you had. 291 00:27:02,374 --> 00:27:04,501 I'm sorry. 292 00:27:04,626 --> 00:27:09,381 Gosh, I'm... I'm just a little premenstrual. 293 00:27:12,592 --> 00:27:14,970 My gosh. 294 00:27:15,762 --> 00:27:20,559 That Lola Cain person stopped by. She left this. 295 00:27:22,477 --> 00:27:27,232 "Meet me at Le Hot Club. No air conditioning - and proud of it!" 296 00:27:27,357 --> 00:27:30,152 "7:30. Lola." 297 00:27:31,528 --> 00:27:37,534 "5810 Fountain Avenue, Los Angeles, California, 90028." 298 00:27:38,201 --> 00:27:44,041 "555-5555." 299 00:28:10,108 --> 00:28:13,028 You asked me to save this for you. 300 00:28:13,153 --> 00:28:15,072 Gee, thanks. 301 00:28:47,604 --> 00:28:50,565 You know, you smoke too much. 302 00:28:50,691 --> 00:28:53,235 - Sure is hot tonight. - Is it? 303 00:28:54,569 --> 00:28:56,446 What are they lookin' at? 304 00:28:56,571 --> 00:29:01,284 Lot of them have tried that seat before. You're the first one that's lasted this long. 305 00:29:01,410 --> 00:29:04,830 - I feel honoured. - Don't. It's broken. 306 00:29:11,712 --> 00:29:14,006 Gimme a glass of water. 307 00:29:14,131 --> 00:29:16,174 Here you go. 308 00:29:19,594 --> 00:29:23,640 So, d'you bring those papers? 309 00:29:24,766 --> 00:29:27,936 No. I thought you might come over to my place. 310 00:29:28,061 --> 00:29:30,313 - I'll drive you. - I brought my own car. 311 00:29:30,439 --> 00:29:32,065 I'll follow you, then. 312 00:29:32,190 --> 00:29:35,652 This might sound silly, but would you leave first? 313 00:29:35,777 --> 00:29:38,905 I come here a lot and I wouldn't want them to think I'm easy. 314 00:29:39,031 --> 00:29:42,743 A slut, who'll jump into bed at the drop of a hat. If you leave first... 315 00:29:42,868 --> 00:29:47,247 They'll think I'm a putz for passin' up a sure thing. 316 00:30:00,719 --> 00:30:06,058 Funny thing about women, they'll do anything to keep up appearances. 317 00:30:06,183 --> 00:30:10,645 Take Lola Cain. She'd rather look like a hard case with bloody knuckles 318 00:30:10,771 --> 00:30:13,774 than a soft touch with a soiled reputation. 319 00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:19,071 Still, I had to admit, there was somethin' about her that made me sweat bullets. 320 00:30:19,196 --> 00:30:23,241 And no matter what I did, I couldn't cool down. 321 00:30:31,124 --> 00:30:36,088 She was living pretty upscale for a dame with no visible means of support. 322 00:30:36,213 --> 00:30:39,883 But with a body like hers, no support was necessary. 323 00:31:04,992 --> 00:31:08,370 So, here we are. 324 00:31:08,495 --> 00:31:10,539 In the dark. 325 00:31:11,748 --> 00:31:13,875 I have the clapper. 326 00:31:15,669 --> 00:31:18,088 You what? 327 00:31:25,137 --> 00:31:27,180 This way, Mr Ravine. 328 00:31:28,598 --> 00:31:33,562 You can wait in my bedroom while I find those papers. 329 00:31:36,064 --> 00:31:38,108 Papers, papers... 330 00:31:42,654 --> 00:31:47,909 "Kamikaze Kama Sutra. Encyclopedia of Dangerous Sexual Positions." 331 00:31:51,955 --> 00:31:55,375 Holy smokes. 332 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,798 Mr Ravine. 333 00:32:08,138 --> 00:32:12,434 That's it? These are the papers? 334 00:32:12,559 --> 00:32:16,646 Yes, they're so confusing to me. Can you tell me what they are? 335 00:32:16,772 --> 00:32:21,651 This one's a laundry receipt, and the other's an expired lottery ticket. 336 00:32:24,696 --> 00:32:28,742 No, you keep them, as a memento of our time together. 337 00:32:28,867 --> 00:32:33,664 I'm so grateful. How can I ever repay you for all you've done? 338 00:32:33,789 --> 00:32:35,832 Cash would be nice. 339 00:32:35,957 --> 00:32:40,295 - Isn't there some other way? - I suppose you could wash my car. 340 00:32:40,420 --> 00:32:46,551 No. I mean, isn't there something else you want? Something else I could give you? 341 00:32:47,427 --> 00:32:52,683 Slow down. There's a speed limit in this state - 65 miles an hour. 342 00:32:52,808 --> 00:32:57,187 - How fast was I going, Officer? - About 123. 343 00:32:57,312 --> 00:32:59,815 Suppose you pull me over and frisk me? 344 00:32:59,940 --> 00:33:02,192 Suppose I let you off with a warning? 345 00:33:02,317 --> 00:33:05,445 Suppose I find a cop with a bigger night stick? 346 00:33:05,570 --> 00:33:09,700 Suppose I put you under arrest for being a bad girl with bad thoughts? 347 00:33:09,825 --> 00:33:12,202 Suppose you handcuff me to the bed? 348 00:33:12,327 --> 00:33:15,372 Suppose I do and then we lose the key? 349 00:33:15,497 --> 00:33:18,959 And while I'm gone to get a duplicate, this house catches on fire? 350 00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:21,336 I can't save you cos the bridge is washed out. 351 00:33:21,461 --> 00:33:25,507 So you die a horrible death, toasted like a Polish sausage on a flaming spit. 352 00:33:25,632 --> 00:33:28,135 - Would you like that? - I'd love it. 353 00:33:28,260 --> 00:33:32,055 Well, I'm sorry, ma'am. 354 00:33:39,730 --> 00:33:42,607 You're not so tough. Last chance. 355 00:33:42,733 --> 00:33:48,572 No, thanks. I got a cold shower and a wife who trusts me waiting at home. 356 00:33:48,697 --> 00:33:51,074 What's the matter? Don't you want me? 357 00:33:51,199 --> 00:33:54,661 It's my face, isn't it? It's the way I look. 358 00:33:55,412 --> 00:33:57,873 Don't forget to lock up. 359 00:34:39,998 --> 00:34:41,667 Oooh. 360 00:35:11,446 --> 00:35:13,824 I knew you'd come back. 361 00:35:13,949 --> 00:35:16,118 I forgot my car keys. 362 00:35:20,789 --> 00:35:23,709 That's not why you came back. 363 00:35:23,834 --> 00:35:25,669 Yes, it is. 364 00:35:25,794 --> 00:35:29,923 You came back for this. 365 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,096 This is so different. 366 00:35:45,147 --> 00:35:48,567 Don't. Don't. 367 00:35:48,692 --> 00:35:50,986 Don't stop, Ned. 368 00:35:58,952 --> 00:36:01,913 Flip it! Flip it! Flip it! 369 00:36:02,039 --> 00:36:04,791 - Flipping! I'm flipping! - Double dip it!! 370 00:36:07,127 --> 00:36:09,296 Babaloo! 371 00:37:06,436 --> 00:37:11,191 - That's "Madame Butterfly", isn't it? - Iron Butterfly, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida". 372 00:37:11,316 --> 00:37:13,568 It's tells the sad story 373 00:37:13,694 --> 00:37:19,408 of a woman who's rejected by her lover after a brief but torrid affair. 374 00:37:19,533 --> 00:37:22,744 So she stalks him with an ice pick 375 00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:25,956 and stabs him more than a thousand times. 376 00:37:26,081 --> 00:37:29,001 I never could understand those lyrics. 377 00:37:41,596 --> 00:37:44,808 - Sorry. - It's all right. 378 00:37:49,813 --> 00:37:52,733 You know, what happened last night, it was very... 379 00:37:52,858 --> 00:37:55,277 Yes, it was. 380 00:37:55,402 --> 00:37:57,946 I should check on my homeowner's insurance. 381 00:37:58,071 --> 00:38:01,325 Yeah. Just can't ever let that happen again. 382 00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:04,661 What are you saying, Ned? 383 00:38:04,786 --> 00:38:09,416 That you're rejecting me, your lover, after a brief but torrid affair? 384 00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:11,585 No, no. 385 00:38:12,919 --> 00:38:16,048 I wouldn't put it exactly like that. 386 00:38:16,173 --> 00:38:21,261 You know, I'm married to a wonderful woman, who is very, very attractive. 387 00:38:23,096 --> 00:38:26,308 Not that you aren't very attractive. 388 00:38:28,185 --> 00:38:31,271 You aren't very attractive. 389 00:38:32,856 --> 00:38:35,942 You aren't very attractive. 390 00:38:37,527 --> 00:38:40,656 You aren't very attractive. 391 00:38:48,914 --> 00:38:52,876 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't touch that! 392 00:38:53,001 --> 00:38:56,380 Ya bond with it, ya buy it! Whaddaya want? 393 00:38:56,505 --> 00:38:59,049 You know, a little gift... for the wife. 394 00:38:59,174 --> 00:39:04,262 Most guys fool around, they buy flowers! You, you wanna buy a live animal? 395 00:39:04,388 --> 00:39:09,976 - Whaddaya drivin' at? - Look at yourself! Look at you! 396 00:39:10,102 --> 00:39:13,355 I have seen gigolo pants before, buster. 397 00:39:13,980 --> 00:39:17,317 Humma, humma, humma! 398 00:39:17,442 --> 00:39:19,236 Shut up! 399 00:39:21,738 --> 00:39:23,949 Humma. 400 00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:47,514 Shady. 401 00:39:53,687 --> 00:39:56,648 It's what you've been waiting for. You're free. 402 00:40:15,792 --> 00:40:17,753 Do you have a statement? 403 00:40:17,878 --> 00:40:19,671 Back off. 404 00:40:19,796 --> 00:40:22,257 What's the first thing you'll do now? 405 00:40:22,382 --> 00:40:25,510 Find Ned Ravine. I'm gonna rip his head off. 406 00:40:25,635 --> 00:40:29,348 I'm gonna put this thumb in his mouth, these two fingers in his eyes, 407 00:40:29,473 --> 00:40:32,017 and use his head for a friggin' bowlin' ball. 408 00:40:32,142 --> 00:40:36,563 - Are you a good bowler? - You ever bowled a 300 game? 409 00:40:36,688 --> 00:40:38,982 Aren't you wearing one of Ravine's suits? 410 00:40:39,107 --> 00:40:43,195 The bastard gave it to me as a gift to make up for losing my case. 411 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,906 Now I'm gonna wear it to his friggin' funeral. 412 00:40:47,866 --> 00:40:50,911 - How come we gotta m...? - Shh. Sit down. 413 00:40:54,081 --> 00:40:57,918 - How come we gotta meet here? - We have to be careful now. 414 00:40:58,043 --> 00:41:00,504 We can't risk being seen together at the house. 415 00:41:00,629 --> 00:41:04,716 Someone might connect us to the murder, later on. 416 00:41:04,841 --> 00:41:07,844 Here. Put this on. 417 00:41:19,398 --> 00:41:21,274 Speak Yiddish. 418 00:41:22,067 --> 00:41:25,696 I been thinkin'... maybe this plan is too complicated. 419 00:41:26,113 --> 00:41:28,782 Quit worrying. The plan is perfect. 420 00:41:29,533 --> 00:41:33,495 Yeah, but we gotta get him on the train, shoot him... then push him in the river. 421 00:41:36,665 --> 00:41:40,460 We're going to be in big trouble. They're going to catch us. 422 00:41:40,585 --> 00:41:43,255 There's very little risk involved. 423 00:41:43,380 --> 00:41:48,593 Statistics reveal that less than 32º% of all murderers are ever apprehended. 424 00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,805 - You speak Yiddish? - No. 425 00:41:53,265 --> 00:41:55,142 But I can read the subtitles. 426 00:42:07,946 --> 00:42:12,909 - Gee, you shouldn't have. - I didn't. It's for my wife. 427 00:42:14,077 --> 00:42:17,456 She called. Wondered why you never came home last night. 428 00:42:19,708 --> 00:42:23,337 I told her you were working with a client. Undercover. 429 00:42:28,008 --> 00:42:29,634 Were you? 430 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,387 - What? - There's lipstick on your collar. 431 00:42:34,181 --> 00:42:38,393 - No, there isn't. - No. But you answered my question. 432 00:42:39,770 --> 00:42:43,023 - She's a real looker? - Who? 433 00:42:43,148 --> 00:42:45,609 Lola Cain. 434 00:42:45,734 --> 00:42:48,236 Hadn't noticed. 435 00:42:48,362 --> 00:42:52,032 Yeah. I noticed how you hadn't noticed. 436 00:42:52,157 --> 00:42:55,494 That's all right. She noticed enough for both of us. 437 00:42:55,619 --> 00:42:58,455 I worry about you, Ned. 438 00:42:58,580 --> 00:43:02,668 Max Shady's been faxing death threats to you all morning. 439 00:43:02,793 --> 00:43:08,465 "Stick a knife in you... The eyeballs... Razor-sharp spikes..." 440 00:43:08,590 --> 00:43:11,510 - D'you get to...? - "Cut it off. Shove it in a blender." 441 00:43:11,635 --> 00:43:14,554 - That one. - He's just getting it out of his system. 442 00:43:19,559 --> 00:43:22,062 - Ned. - Laura. 443 00:43:23,313 --> 00:43:25,357 Wait! 444 00:43:25,482 --> 00:43:27,901 - It might be him. - Where did you get that? 445 00:43:28,026 --> 00:43:30,821 - From my purse. - Put the gun away. 446 00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:36,827 Flowers for Mr Ned Ravine. 447 00:43:36,952 --> 00:43:40,706 Hey, aren't you that lawyer guy? Man. You're dead meat. 448 00:43:43,583 --> 00:43:46,336 Is this another sick joke from Max Shady? 449 00:43:47,379 --> 00:43:49,339 - Ach. - What is it? 450 00:43:49,464 --> 00:43:53,969 Lola Cain. I'll put these in water for you. 451 00:44:08,734 --> 00:44:11,403 So, what happened to you last night? 452 00:44:11,528 --> 00:44:13,613 Why? What have you heard? 453 00:44:13,739 --> 00:44:16,366 You could at least have called. 454 00:44:17,492 --> 00:44:20,078 But I suppose you were tied up. 455 00:44:20,203 --> 00:44:22,247 Only part of the time. 456 00:44:22,372 --> 00:44:26,877 I never know when you're coming home, Ned. How can I ever make any plans? 457 00:44:27,002 --> 00:44:29,421 Honey, I know. 458 00:44:29,546 --> 00:44:33,925 It's been rough for you just being alone so much. 459 00:44:36,011 --> 00:44:38,889 You know, maybe we should try again. 460 00:44:40,057 --> 00:44:42,726 Have a baby. 461 00:44:42,851 --> 00:44:45,437 So, what's in the box? 462 00:44:45,562 --> 00:44:47,606 The box. 463 00:44:50,275 --> 00:44:52,361 - Did I get you a present? - You did? 464 00:44:52,486 --> 00:44:54,529 Yeah. 465 00:44:59,785 --> 00:45:02,037 What is it? 466 00:45:02,162 --> 00:45:05,707 - It's sorta like a cat. - It's not enough like a cat, Ned. 467 00:45:05,832 --> 00:45:09,419 It's a skunk, honey. I got it at Birds and Skunks "R" Us. 468 00:45:09,544 --> 00:45:13,382 You shouldn't have. And I really mean that. 469 00:45:15,634 --> 00:45:18,637 - So what you gonna name him? - How about Ned? 470 00:45:18,762 --> 00:45:23,433 I like that. You know I always loved the name Ned. 471 00:45:23,558 --> 00:45:27,062 You're kidding? 472 00:45:27,187 --> 00:45:29,231 So, whaddaya think? 473 00:45:29,356 --> 00:45:32,567 You love Ned Junior as much as you love me? 474 00:45:32,693 --> 00:45:35,320 At least. Hello? 475 00:45:35,821 --> 00:45:38,448 Hello? Hello? 476 00:45:41,243 --> 00:45:43,495 Frank, is that you? 477 00:45:43,620 --> 00:45:47,457 Frank, I told you never to call here. 478 00:45:55,757 --> 00:45:58,385 Who's Frank? 479 00:45:58,510 --> 00:45:59,970 Frank? 480 00:46:00,095 --> 00:46:05,475 Only Frank I know is an auto mechanic. I wouldn't recommend that guy. I gotta go. 481 00:46:16,361 --> 00:46:18,447 Why are you running from me, Ned? 482 00:46:18,572 --> 00:46:22,409 Didn't it mean anything to you - buffing my buns with carnauba wax? 483 00:46:22,534 --> 00:46:26,830 Come on, Neddy-poo. Doesn't Mr Pokey wanna go exploring? 484 00:46:26,955 --> 00:46:30,208 Mr Pokey is busy right now. 485 00:46:30,334 --> 00:46:33,295 Besides, he belongs to my wife. 486 00:46:47,768 --> 00:46:50,854 - Today's your birthday? - It's not important. 487 00:46:50,979 --> 00:46:52,731 I'm gonna take you out. 488 00:46:52,856 --> 00:46:55,359 It's no big deal. I'll have another one. 489 00:46:55,484 --> 00:46:58,195 No, I insist. I'll get you a nice present. 490 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:03,241 You are so sweet. You don't have to do that. You gave me a present last year. 491 00:47:03,367 --> 00:47:06,578 - Remember these lovely Ginsu knives? - Aren't they great? 492 00:47:06,703 --> 00:47:09,373 Let's go shoppin'. Let me buy you a new hat. 493 00:47:25,639 --> 00:47:28,183 ♪ Hey, where did we go 494 00:47:28,725 --> 00:47:31,812 ♪ Days when the rains came? 495 00:47:31,937 --> 00:47:35,107 ♪ Down in the hollow 496 00:47:35,232 --> 00:47:38,318 ♪ Playin' a new game 497 00:47:38,443 --> 00:47:41,613 ♪ Laughing and running, hey, hey 498 00:47:41,738 --> 00:47:44,074 ♪ Skipping and jumping 499 00:47:44,616 --> 00:47:50,038 ♪ In the misty morning fog with our hearts thumpin' 500 00:47:50,163 --> 00:47:54,626 ♪ And you, my brown-eyed girl 501 00:47:57,295 --> 00:48:01,258 ♪ You, my brown-eyed girl 502 00:48:02,342 --> 00:48:06,680 ♪ Do you remember when we used to sing 503 00:48:06,805 --> 00:48:11,727 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 504 00:48:11,852 --> 00:48:13,103 ♪ Just like that 505 00:48:13,228 --> 00:48:18,275 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 506 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:19,443 ♪ La-te-da 507 00:48:19,568 --> 00:48:24,489 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 508 00:48:24,614 --> 00:48:25,824 ♪ Just like that 509 00:48:25,949 --> 00:48:31,288 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 510 00:48:31,413 --> 00:48:32,289 ♪ La-te-da 511 00:48:32,414 --> 00:48:37,294 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 512 00:48:38,462 --> 00:48:43,050 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 513 00:48:50,307 --> 00:48:53,310 I wonder what he's thinking when he has that goofy smile. 514 00:48:53,435 --> 00:48:56,104 Boy, does she look stupid in that hat. 515 00:48:56,229 --> 00:48:59,566 If I told him how I really feel, he'd probably fire me. 516 00:48:59,691 --> 00:49:03,070 What am I saying? He probably doesn't even know I exist. 517 00:49:03,195 --> 00:49:06,782 Laura's incredible. And so smart. 518 00:49:07,908 --> 00:49:12,204 I wonder if she's smart enough to know that that was Lola's lipstick on my collar? 519 00:49:12,329 --> 00:49:15,624 And that we spent the night bumpin' ugly and knocking boots? 520 00:49:15,749 --> 00:49:21,213 Maybe I should dress more like Lola Cain. Then he'd notice me. 521 00:49:21,338 --> 00:49:25,967 If I came in wearing no panties, no bra and a wet T-shirt, then... 522 00:49:26,093 --> 00:49:28,136 Maybe she hasn't found the right... 523 00:49:28,261 --> 00:49:30,722 - I'm sorry. - I was just rambling. 524 00:49:30,847 --> 00:49:32,974 - Go ahead. - No, really. You first. 525 00:49:33,100 --> 00:49:34,101 I insist. 526 00:49:34,226 --> 00:49:37,062 - I wanted to remind you about... - The symposium. 527 00:49:37,187 --> 00:49:39,231 - In Santa Barbara. - Tomorrow. 528 00:49:39,356 --> 00:49:42,067 How to sue your loved ones. 529 00:49:43,568 --> 00:49:45,654 I'm driving up in the morning. 530 00:49:45,779 --> 00:49:50,867 He's so gorgeous. Golly. I'm having that fantasy again. 531 00:49:50,993 --> 00:49:54,788 I'm in the shower. He comes in. The Mambo King, naked. 532 00:49:54,913 --> 00:49:57,457 He puts his arms around me. He kisses me. 533 00:49:57,582 --> 00:50:02,295 And then he reaches out with his strong, powerful hand and he touches my... 534 00:50:11,138 --> 00:50:15,392 Does your wife know you're... working late, 535 00:50:17,185 --> 00:50:20,230 Mr Ravine? 536 00:50:52,721 --> 00:50:54,765 It's all taken care of. When do I knock? 537 00:50:54,890 --> 00:50:59,686 Wait until I signal you. When I raise the blinds, you knock. Watch. 538 00:51:04,274 --> 00:51:06,652 Shh. Not now. 539 00:51:06,777 --> 00:51:10,822 - You raise the blinds, I knock. - Yes. Go on. 540 00:51:10,947 --> 00:51:13,116 All right. 541 00:51:15,035 --> 00:51:17,788 Let's see. I raise the blinds, you knock. 542 00:51:41,144 --> 00:51:43,981 - Honey, what's wrong? - This neighbourhood. 543 00:51:44,106 --> 00:51:47,401 Getting worse all the time. Kids stole my engine again. 544 00:51:47,526 --> 00:51:50,862 Why don't you take the train? It leaves in 20 minutes. 545 00:51:50,988 --> 00:51:52,864 - I'll just fly up. - No! 546 00:51:52,990 --> 00:51:57,411 I mean, you can't. Armed terrorists seized the airport this morning. 547 00:51:57,536 --> 00:52:01,289 A plane crashed into the tower. All the runways are on fire. 548 00:52:01,415 --> 00:52:05,043 - Damn it. - Honey, why don't you take the train? 549 00:52:05,168 --> 00:52:11,466 - You know how I feel about riding trains. - Sweetie, it's just a short trip. 550 00:52:14,428 --> 00:52:16,930 Yeah, it is a short trip. 551 00:52:22,602 --> 00:52:25,647 Just a short trip to hell in a metal tomb. 552 00:52:27,274 --> 00:52:31,653 Sweetheart, just because both of your parents died in a train wreck. 553 00:52:31,778 --> 00:52:34,197 - And my two sisters. - And your brother Morty. 554 00:52:34,323 --> 00:52:39,703 My best friend, Al. My dog, Woof, and my uncle Lionel. All killed by trains. 555 00:52:39,828 --> 00:52:42,956 Coincidence. 556 00:52:43,081 --> 00:52:48,545 Do you honestly think that you can bring them back by not riding on a train? 557 00:52:50,088 --> 00:52:51,923 No. 558 00:52:53,133 --> 00:52:56,803 I can't bring 'em back. I'll call a cab. 559 00:52:57,804 --> 00:53:00,140 - You're sure now? - Yeah. 560 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:07,731 It's OK, cos we'll never make it to the station by the time a cab gets here. 561 00:53:07,856 --> 00:53:10,609 Come in. 562 00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:15,405 Hi. I was in the neighbourhood. Thought I'd stop by and pick up my tools. 563 00:53:15,530 --> 00:53:18,533 Well, say. Frank can drive you. 564 00:53:19,951 --> 00:53:23,747 - Can't you, Frank? - Sure, I'll take you to the train station. 565 00:53:29,878 --> 00:53:32,297 12 minutes. We'll never make it. 566 00:53:32,422 --> 00:53:34,466 We'll make it, baby. 567 00:53:57,072 --> 00:53:59,116 Aw, no. A detour! 568 00:54:01,076 --> 00:54:04,162 - We're not gonna make it. - We'll make it. 569 00:54:23,890 --> 00:54:28,228 OK. Tell me what you're gonna do if you feel queasy going through the tunnel. 570 00:54:28,353 --> 00:54:32,941 I know, I know. Stand in the vestibule between the cars. 571 00:54:41,325 --> 00:54:43,618 Vestibule. 572 00:54:43,744 --> 00:54:47,080 - Vestibule. - Vestibule, vestibule. 573 00:54:49,124 --> 00:54:53,045 Did you... stick your tongue in my mouth? 574 00:54:53,545 --> 00:54:56,048 Thanks. 575 00:54:56,173 --> 00:54:58,467 All aboard! 576 00:55:39,633 --> 00:55:41,677 Come here. 577 00:56:10,414 --> 00:56:12,457 Tickets, please. 578 00:56:18,046 --> 00:56:20,549 Tickets! 579 00:56:25,262 --> 00:56:27,597 Ticket? Thank you. 580 00:56:28,140 --> 00:56:30,350 There you go. 581 00:56:31,476 --> 00:56:36,356 Sorry, pal. Automatic weapons are only allowed in the club car after 9pm. 582 00:56:36,481 --> 00:56:41,611 We'll check it in baggage. Claim it when you get to the depot in Santa Barbara. 583 00:56:42,696 --> 00:56:46,867 Hi! Do you know, if you put a penny on the track it'll make the train crash? 584 00:56:46,992 --> 00:56:50,412 - God. - You'd better get up to the next car. 585 00:56:50,537 --> 00:56:53,957 Give me the high sign as soon as you see the river. 586 00:56:54,082 --> 00:56:58,337 Ever been in a wreck? People get mashed and crushed and ripped to pieces. 587 00:56:58,462 --> 00:57:03,508 Hey, what's the matter, mister? You look hot. Want me to cool you off? 588 00:57:06,636 --> 00:57:08,847 The best train wrecks are in tunnels. 589 00:57:08,972 --> 00:57:12,225 Heads ripped off, bloody guts hanging out everywhere. 590 00:57:12,351 --> 00:57:14,394 Boy. Here comes a tunnel. 591 00:57:16,188 --> 00:57:18,440 Hey, maybe we'll crash. 592 00:57:18,565 --> 00:57:21,526 - Vestibule. - Where are you goin', mister? 593 00:57:21,652 --> 00:57:24,738 Way to go, Ned. Right on time. 594 00:57:39,169 --> 00:57:41,672 Thank you. Weapons? 595 00:57:50,430 --> 00:57:53,475 Weapons? Automatic weapons? I'll take that. 596 00:58:33,015 --> 00:58:36,977 Lana, you risked your life to save mine. 597 00:58:37,102 --> 00:58:40,272 I can't ask any more from a woman than that. 598 00:58:40,397 --> 00:58:44,026 But I saw you shoot him, Lana, in cold blood. 599 00:58:44,151 --> 00:58:46,778 I got to arrest you for murder. 600 00:58:46,903 --> 00:58:48,739 Ned, you wouldn't. 601 00:58:48,864 --> 00:58:53,160 I'm sorry. I'm a cop. I got a job to do. 602 00:58:59,541 --> 00:59:02,711 "Cop arrests wife for murder. Will defend her in court." 603 00:59:48,590 --> 00:59:51,635 Neddy! Daddy's got Skunky Treats! 604 00:59:52,803 --> 00:59:54,429 Neddy? 605 01:00:17,661 --> 01:00:19,663 - No! - Yes. 606 01:00:21,123 --> 01:00:23,458 - No. - Yes. 607 01:00:24,126 --> 01:00:25,794 No! 608 01:00:25,919 --> 01:00:30,048 Yes, linguini pomodoro, with basil. 609 01:00:30,966 --> 01:00:35,345 Pasta with tomato sauce. What's the matter? Don't you like Italian? 610 01:00:46,023 --> 01:00:48,191 Where is Ned Junior? 611 01:00:48,317 --> 01:00:53,405 I thought he might like to get out. So I took him to the amusement park. 612 01:00:55,324 --> 01:01:01,038 Now, you don't break into my house, cook my food, and borrow my skunk. 613 01:01:01,163 --> 01:01:06,209 Now, you stay out of my face, out of my neighbourhood, out of my life! 614 01:01:06,335 --> 01:01:09,421 You haven't seen the last of me, Ned Ravine. 615 01:01:13,842 --> 01:01:15,886 Told you. 616 01:01:19,014 --> 01:01:21,850 How do you like sleeping with a murderess? 617 01:01:21,975 --> 01:01:25,646 Better than sleeping with a ninja turtle. 618 01:01:25,771 --> 01:01:27,481 It's the hottest ticket in town, 619 01:01:27,606 --> 01:01:31,151 as people swarm in to witness the courtroom battle of the century. 620 01:01:31,276 --> 01:01:34,905 Now, let's go up to the booth for the play-by-play and Bob Uecker. 621 01:01:35,030 --> 01:01:36,990 What a great day for a trial. 622 01:01:37,115 --> 01:01:42,079 We have lots of incandescent lighting, a temperature of 72 degrees inside. 623 01:01:42,204 --> 01:01:46,124 The wind should not be a factor, unless somebody cuts one. 624 01:01:46,249 --> 01:01:49,378 It's the State of California versus Lana Ravine. 625 01:01:49,503 --> 01:01:53,882 Two equally matched opponents. This oughta be a beauty. 626 01:01:54,675 --> 01:01:59,346 Oy vey. Oy vey. Superior Court of Los Angeles is now in session. 627 01:01:59,471 --> 01:02:04,810 And here he is, direct from a one-week engagement in Las Vegas Circuit Court, 628 01:02:04,935 --> 01:02:10,399 the honourable, the venerable, the totally irrepressible, Judge Harlan Skanky! 629 01:02:19,658 --> 01:02:21,827 You may sit down. 630 01:02:23,662 --> 01:02:28,208 Wow! Has this defence team been hot! 37 straight victories this year. 631 01:02:28,333 --> 01:02:32,629 - Let's go down for the coin toss. - Tails. 632 01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:38,677 And the prosecution wins the flip of the coin and elects to kick things off. 633 01:02:38,802 --> 01:02:42,264 And, therefore, the prosecution will prove 634 01:02:42,389 --> 01:02:47,436 that this... repulsive and degenerate woman 635 01:02:47,561 --> 01:02:52,107 brutally murdered a decent, law-abiding citizen. 636 01:02:52,232 --> 01:02:57,529 The defence will prove these allegations are irresponsible caca-doody pooh-pooh. 637 01:02:57,654 --> 01:02:59,865 So noted. 638 01:02:59,990 --> 01:03:02,743 Miss Lincolnberry, can you tell us what this is? 639 01:03:02,868 --> 01:03:06,413 That is one of the many death threats that Max Shady faxed to you 640 01:03:06,538 --> 01:03:10,250 the day that he was released from prison. 641 01:03:10,375 --> 01:03:12,753 A fax, 642 01:03:12,878 --> 01:03:19,343 in which he threatened to purée certain parts of my anatomy... in a blender. 643 01:03:19,468 --> 01:03:23,513 I object! There's no need to deal with the fax in this case. 644 01:03:24,848 --> 01:03:26,683 I'll allow it. 645 01:03:26,808 --> 01:03:29,770 Will the clerk place this into evidence? 646 01:03:29,895 --> 01:03:31,938 I got it! I go... 647 01:03:34,691 --> 01:03:36,068 What is your occupation? 648 01:03:36,193 --> 01:03:39,321 I've been the conductor on the RandR Railroad for 25 years, 649 01:03:39,446 --> 01:03:42,115 and I'm very, very proud of it. 650 01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:46,870 And is this the blender you found in the lavatory of the train? 651 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:50,415 Yes, it is. 652 01:03:50,540 --> 01:03:52,584 I'd like this marked as evidence. 653 01:03:53,377 --> 01:03:55,796 Mine! 654 01:03:55,921 --> 01:03:59,383 Bad call by Ravine! Let's go to the replay. 655 01:03:59,508 --> 01:04:01,968 Look at that. The bailiff is wide open. 656 01:04:02,094 --> 01:04:07,391 But instead of handing it off, Ravine goes for the long bomb. It's way wide! 657 01:04:07,516 --> 01:04:12,020 - That blender is gone! - Recess! Ten minutes. 658 01:04:19,361 --> 01:04:21,947 There you go. 659 01:04:25,867 --> 01:04:29,287 All right, recess is over. Let's go! 660 01:04:31,039 --> 01:04:32,457 I love recess. 661 01:04:32,582 --> 01:04:35,210 There they go, the UCLA marching b... 662 01:04:41,758 --> 01:04:46,179 - You may continue, Mr Ravine. - The defence calls Lana Ravine. 663 01:04:48,348 --> 01:04:52,811 Now, Mrs Ravine. May I call you Lana? 664 01:04:52,936 --> 01:04:55,981 Please, call me Angel Tits. 665 01:04:56,106 --> 01:04:58,817 - I object! - Sustained. 666 01:05:02,112 --> 01:05:06,283 Counsellor, you will address Angel Tits as Mrs Ravine. 667 01:05:07,409 --> 01:05:12,456 Mrs Ravine, will you please tell the court why you were on that train? 668 01:05:12,581 --> 01:05:16,918 I saw Max Shady at the station. Saw him get on board. 669 01:05:17,044 --> 01:05:21,965 I knew he'd threatened to kill you and... mutilate your reproductive organs. 670 01:05:22,883 --> 01:05:27,012 So you followed him, knowing you had to protect me, your husband, best friend, 671 01:05:27,137 --> 01:05:30,140 the man you love, the future father of your children? 672 01:05:30,265 --> 01:05:34,603 - Something like that. - Then when you saw him in the vestibule, 673 01:05:34,728 --> 01:05:38,106 waiting to pulverise my pee-pee, 674 01:05:38,231 --> 01:05:41,985 you pulled the gun and fired, and fired, and fired. 675 01:05:42,110 --> 01:05:50,110 And fired, and fired, and fired, and fired, and fired, and fired, and fired... 676 01:05:50,827 --> 01:05:56,583 Ladies and gentlemen, how can you convict this courageous woman 677 01:05:56,708 --> 01:06:00,212 who risked everything to save the life of her beloved husband? 678 01:06:00,337 --> 01:06:03,840 A woman who acted boldly to stop a demented maniac... 679 01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:13,350 from pulverising the private parts of the man she loves? 680 01:06:14,685 --> 01:06:18,730 Lana Ravine is the potential mother of my potential child. 681 01:06:19,189 --> 01:06:24,069 And I challenge you to strike a blow for motherhood. 682 01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:28,740 Strike a blow for the American justice system. 683 01:06:28,865 --> 01:06:32,077 Put the "can" back in American. 684 01:06:32,202 --> 01:06:35,205 Put the "Jew" back in jurisprudence. 685 01:06:35,330 --> 01:06:39,084 Put the "con" back in the Constitution. 686 01:06:39,209 --> 01:06:43,296 And put the "dumb" back in freedom! 687 01:06:45,799 --> 01:06:50,762 Ravine is hotter than a three-peckered billy goat! Can we say that? 688 01:06:53,890 --> 01:06:55,934 The jury's back! 689 01:07:22,961 --> 01:07:25,005 Mr Foreman? 690 01:07:26,715 --> 01:07:29,509 - Has the jury reached a verdict? - Yes, we have. 691 01:07:29,634 --> 01:07:32,012 How do you find on the count of manslaughter? 692 01:07:32,137 --> 01:07:34,973 - Not guilty. - On the count of murder? 693 01:07:35,098 --> 01:07:37,309 - Not guilty. - On the count of Monte Cristo? 694 01:07:37,434 --> 01:07:40,771 Not guilty. 695 01:07:40,896 --> 01:07:43,023 Court is adjourned. 696 01:07:43,148 --> 01:07:47,069 Attention courtroom shoppers. All trial evidence now on sale. 697 01:07:47,194 --> 01:07:51,114 40-60º% off all exhibits. Everything must go! 698 01:07:58,246 --> 01:08:00,290 Ned. 699 01:08:00,999 --> 01:08:04,920 Ever consider that maybe you don't know women as well as you think you do? 700 01:08:05,045 --> 01:08:09,383 - What do you mean? - Your wife just bought her gun back. 701 01:08:09,508 --> 01:08:12,636 The gun she used to kill a man. 702 01:08:12,761 --> 01:08:15,305 That's the gun that saved my life. 703 01:08:15,430 --> 01:08:17,474 I'm sure it has sentimental value. 704 01:08:27,567 --> 01:08:29,987 Ooof! Aah! 705 01:08:30,112 --> 01:08:32,489 Hey, Frankie. Long time no see. 706 01:08:32,614 --> 01:08:34,992 Lana, baby, you beat the rap. 707 01:08:35,117 --> 01:08:39,371 You were gonna let me rot in the slammer and never say a thing. 708 01:08:42,082 --> 01:08:45,669 - And you know too much. - You're not gonna shoot me, baby. 709 01:08:50,799 --> 01:08:53,260 You're right, Frank. 710 01:08:53,385 --> 01:08:58,807 Maybe I'll just... screw you to death. 711 01:09:00,267 --> 01:09:03,645 Now you're talkin'. Yeah. 712 01:09:11,278 --> 01:09:13,322 Urgh. 713 01:09:32,090 --> 01:09:34,217 - Hey, Arch. - Quentin. 714 01:09:34,343 --> 01:09:37,888 You guys watch your step in here. There's a lotta blood. 715 01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:42,392 - Lt Ravine. - Lopez, what have you got? 716 01:09:42,517 --> 01:09:45,604 Looks like suicide, sir. I found this note. 717 01:09:45,729 --> 01:09:47,773 It was stuck up his nose. 718 01:09:54,321 --> 01:09:57,908 "I can't take it any more. I'm a mediocre mechanic and a lousy lover." 719 01:09:58,033 --> 01:10:01,203 He sure got that right. 720 01:10:01,328 --> 01:10:03,413 The mechanic part, I mean. 721 01:10:09,211 --> 01:10:12,547 You know, I don't know why, Arch, 722 01:10:12,673 --> 01:10:16,176 I just can't shake this crazy hunch it wasn't suicide. 723 01:10:22,140 --> 01:10:24,267 All right, come on. Knock it off. 724 01:10:24,393 --> 01:10:26,770 On your feet. 725 01:10:34,611 --> 01:10:39,908 Ned. This is Lola, um... 726 01:10:40,033 --> 01:10:42,119 Um? 727 01:10:42,244 --> 01:10:45,789 She told you her name was Um? And what other lies did she tell you? 728 01:10:45,914 --> 01:10:48,959 I have never seen this woman in my life. 729 01:10:49,084 --> 01:10:53,630 I never followed her home. I never had sex with her in her refrigerator. 730 01:10:53,755 --> 01:10:57,718 This is a sick fantasy and I deny everything. 731 01:10:57,843 --> 01:10:59,886 And when will women like you learn 732 01:11:00,012 --> 01:11:05,517 you can't tear apart a perfectly good marriage with your vicious lies, Miss Um? 733 01:11:05,642 --> 01:11:09,980 Actually, it's Smith. Lola Smith. I sell vacuum cleaners, Mr Ravine. 734 01:11:10,105 --> 01:11:14,026 The big, powerful kind that suck up everything in sight. 735 01:11:14,151 --> 01:11:19,906 I'm sorry. My God, look at that. 736 01:11:20,032 --> 01:11:23,285 I was telling your wife, if she wants to get rid of her dirt, 737 01:11:23,410 --> 01:11:26,371 she has to be willing to pay the price. 738 01:11:27,914 --> 01:11:31,001 Please let me know what you decide. 739 01:11:32,753 --> 01:11:36,381 I'm sure we can work out a convenient payment plan. 740 01:11:37,507 --> 01:11:42,679 It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr Ravine. I'll just let myself out. 741 01:11:45,807 --> 01:11:47,601 Bye now. 742 01:11:55,901 --> 01:11:58,070 Who is it? 743 01:12:09,915 --> 01:12:13,293 - I just wanna talk. - Why didn't you say so? 744 01:12:24,888 --> 01:12:26,932 Would you like a drink? 745 01:12:29,476 --> 01:12:33,063 - No, thanks. I'm drivin'. - Then let's get to the point. 746 01:12:37,985 --> 01:12:42,406 So, what's your problem, tough guy? 747 01:12:47,703 --> 01:12:53,291 You stay away from my wife, my life, my home, and my skunk! 748 01:12:53,417 --> 01:12:58,380 I'm taking Lana on vacation. When I come back, I don't want to see your face again. 749 01:12:58,505 --> 01:13:02,217 On vacation? She doesn't deserve a vacation! 750 01:13:02,342 --> 01:13:05,304 She's a brat, a bad girl! 751 01:13:05,429 --> 01:13:08,598 She always was. She always will be. 752 01:13:09,891 --> 01:13:13,103 What are you talking about? You don't know anything about Lana. 753 01:13:13,228 --> 01:13:17,190 I know everything about Lana. 754 01:13:17,316 --> 01:13:20,110 How do you know? Who is she to you anyway? 755 01:13:23,405 --> 01:13:26,742 - Who is she? - She's your wife, dummy. 756 01:13:28,327 --> 01:13:30,954 - Who is she? - She's my sister. 757 01:13:31,455 --> 01:13:33,832 - Who is she? - She's your wife. 758 01:13:34,249 --> 01:13:36,043 You tell me who she is or I'll... 759 01:13:36,168 --> 01:13:38,503 She's my sister! Your wife! 760 01:13:38,628 --> 01:13:41,965 Sister! Wife! Sister! Wife! 761 01:13:42,090 --> 01:13:45,260 Sister! Wife! Sister! 762 01:13:49,806 --> 01:13:53,310 She's your wife and my sister. 763 01:13:55,562 --> 01:13:59,900 She was spoiled rotten. She stole everything I ever had. 764 01:14:00,025 --> 01:14:03,445 Everything. Including... him. 765 01:14:03,570 --> 01:14:06,239 Him? Who, him? 766 01:14:14,247 --> 01:14:18,502 Dwayne. The boys' gym teacher. 767 01:14:18,627 --> 01:14:23,507 He was older, mature, strong. 768 01:14:23,632 --> 01:14:29,680 He smelled like dirty sweat socks and old basketballs. 769 01:14:30,889 --> 01:14:33,558 And he was all mine for a while. 770 01:14:37,437 --> 01:14:40,983 But Lana wasn't satisfied with her own things. 771 01:14:41,108 --> 01:14:44,319 She had to have mine too. And she took it all. 772 01:14:44,444 --> 01:14:50,075 My make-up, my sweaters, my shoes, my underwear. 773 01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:53,704 - You wore the same underwear? - We were identical twins. 774 01:14:53,829 --> 01:14:58,959 Twins? What are you talking about? You two don't look anything alike. 775 01:14:59,084 --> 01:15:01,962 Not any more. 776 01:15:06,133 --> 01:15:09,052 That one's me. No, that one. 777 01:15:09,177 --> 01:15:12,556 One day, I caught her stealing my fuchsia eye shadow, 778 01:15:12,681 --> 01:15:15,350 and she smashed my face in with a shovel. 779 01:15:16,685 --> 01:15:21,773 I had 53 operations. When the doctors were finished with me, I looked like this. 780 01:15:21,898 --> 01:15:25,402 - I'm ugly. Ugly. - You're beautiful. 781 01:15:25,527 --> 01:15:28,655 Don't lie to me. I look in the mirror. I can see. 782 01:15:28,780 --> 01:15:31,533 He did a terrific job. What's the name of your doctor? 783 01:15:31,658 --> 01:15:34,411 Butcher, Dr Sepulveda. 784 01:15:34,536 --> 01:15:37,331 Beverly Hills, 90210. 785 01:15:37,456 --> 01:15:40,292 - But you're gorgeous. - Tell that to Dwayne. 786 01:15:40,417 --> 01:15:43,295 When he saw my face, he left me for her, 787 01:15:43,420 --> 01:15:46,256 because she looked more like me than I did. 788 01:15:46,381 --> 01:15:52,346 First she stole my looks, then she stole the only man who ever loved me. 789 01:15:52,471 --> 01:15:57,351 But I found a way to get even. The best revenge possible. 790 01:16:00,312 --> 01:16:03,148 Destroy her marriage. 791 01:16:05,567 --> 01:16:07,611 That's why you did all this. 792 01:16:16,203 --> 01:16:20,957 Seduce me. Harass me. The tapes, the flowers, the phone calls. 793 01:16:21,083 --> 01:16:26,380 - You've been hangin' out with Dick Tracy. - No, it won't work. Lana loves me. 794 01:16:26,505 --> 01:16:30,509 It doesn't matter. I'm blackmailing her for everything she's worth. 795 01:16:30,634 --> 01:16:34,221 - Blackmail? - She murdered that auto mechanic. 796 01:16:34,346 --> 01:16:36,431 I saw her do it. 797 01:16:36,556 --> 01:16:39,518 Lana killed Frank Kelbo? 798 01:16:39,643 --> 01:16:42,437 Kelbo? His name was Kelbo? 799 01:16:42,562 --> 01:16:45,732 Yeah. Why? Did he burn you on car repairs too? 800 01:16:46,733 --> 01:16:51,571 Dwayne's name was Kelbo. He had a son. 801 01:16:51,697 --> 01:16:54,324 Frank Kelbo. God. 802 01:17:07,045 --> 01:17:09,798 The pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. 803 01:17:09,923 --> 01:17:12,759 And I didn't like the picture they were making. 804 01:17:12,884 --> 01:17:18,598 If Lana really killed Frank Kelbo, then I had misjudged her by a mile. 805 01:17:18,724 --> 01:17:21,268 Sure, he was a lousy mechanic. 806 01:17:22,394 --> 01:17:24,438 But murder? 807 01:17:54,343 --> 01:17:56,386 Lana? 808 01:18:25,916 --> 01:18:29,378 Aspirin. I need an aspirin. 809 01:18:40,347 --> 01:18:44,393 - I'm glad you're here. I've so much to say. - Come on in. I'll make some tea. 810 01:18:44,518 --> 01:18:47,479 - Grab a chair. - Thanks. I brought my own. 811 01:18:48,397 --> 01:18:52,401 - So, whaddaya got? - A lottery ticket and a laundry receipt. 812 01:18:52,526 --> 01:18:56,613 I found them in that suit you wore the night you were working undercover. 813 01:18:56,738 --> 01:18:59,700 You remember that night, don't you? And then it hit me. 814 01:18:59,825 --> 01:19:05,330 "Lottery" starts with L-O. "Laundry" starts with L-A. L-O-L-A. Lola. 815 01:19:07,666 --> 01:19:10,585 Don't sweat it. That's the way a woman's mind works. 816 01:19:10,711 --> 01:19:13,380 We're outta tea. How about Ovaltine? 817 01:19:13,505 --> 01:19:15,632 Fine. Then I remember you told me 818 01:19:15,757 --> 01:19:20,304 a guy named Frank had been working on your wife's car for the past few months. 819 01:19:20,429 --> 01:19:22,472 - You with me? - I'm way ahead of you. 820 01:19:22,597 --> 01:19:25,142 Back it up. You probably took a wrong turn. 821 01:19:25,267 --> 01:19:28,437 Remember the insurance policy? The one we couldn't find? 822 01:19:28,562 --> 01:19:32,566 I started thinking "Who else had access to it, beside you and me?" 823 01:19:32,691 --> 01:19:35,360 The answer came up. Lana. 824 01:19:37,404 --> 01:19:40,991 And since she's a woman, it's probably hidden in the cookie jar. 825 01:19:41,116 --> 01:19:44,453 Ha! 826 01:19:44,578 --> 01:19:47,497 So that's where she hid the Oreos. 827 01:19:47,622 --> 01:19:52,586 Ned, Lana wasn't trying to save your life when she shot Max Shady. 828 01:19:52,711 --> 01:19:57,132 She and Frank were plotting to kill you and collect on your insurance policy. 829 01:19:57,257 --> 01:19:59,676 She shot the wrong guy. 830 01:19:59,801 --> 01:20:03,805 - This is so unbelievable. - And you haven't even heard my story. 831 01:20:12,439 --> 01:20:14,149 You brat! 832 01:20:56,316 --> 01:21:00,445 I could never eat Oreos that way, because whenever he saw any disorder, 833 01:21:00,570 --> 01:21:03,407 he turned into a raging monster. 834 01:21:03,532 --> 01:21:05,826 So, that's why I left him. 835 01:21:05,951 --> 01:21:09,830 I just couldn't take it any more. 836 01:21:10,497 --> 01:21:12,541 I'll get that. 837 01:21:19,548 --> 01:21:22,843 That damn faucet keeps turning on all by itself. 838 01:21:24,261 --> 01:21:26,305 I'll go check it. 839 01:21:28,807 --> 01:21:30,851 I'll make the Ovaltine. 840 01:21:38,108 --> 01:21:40,527 God. 841 01:21:43,530 --> 01:21:46,158 Lola. Lola. 842 01:21:57,753 --> 01:22:01,298 I'm sittin' in for Clarence. He had a gig in Washington. 843 01:22:06,595 --> 01:22:11,808 Women are an open book. You can always tell the rotten apples from the peaches. 844 01:22:11,933 --> 01:22:17,022 Anybody ever proves me wrong, I'll throw away... throw away... throw away... 845 01:22:17,147 --> 01:22:19,691 my badge. 846 01:22:39,419 --> 01:22:42,047 Forget something, darling? 847 01:22:42,172 --> 01:22:44,216 Aaargh! 848 01:22:51,848 --> 01:22:54,476 You have the right to remain silent. 849 01:23:04,236 --> 01:23:08,615 Ha! Whaddaya gonna do, Ned, blow me away? 850 01:24:10,260 --> 01:24:12,888 Laura. 851 01:24:13,013 --> 01:24:15,891 - Ned. - Laura. 852 01:24:16,016 --> 01:24:18,435 Laura, you were so right. 853 01:24:18,560 --> 01:24:22,147 There's a million things I don't know about women. 854 01:24:23,231 --> 01:24:26,318 Maybe you could teach me a few? 855 01:24:27,694 --> 01:24:31,615 Hell, I had too many careers anyway. 856 01:24:37,537 --> 01:24:40,165 Ned. I love you. 857 01:24:42,459 --> 01:24:45,629 I always loved you. 858 01:25:14,783 --> 01:25:18,120 - Got 'em. - Hah! 859 01:25:18,245 --> 01:25:22,165 I said I got 'em. 860 01:25:22,290 --> 01:25:24,334 - What? - They're dead. 861 01:25:24,459 --> 01:25:26,753 Gone. Kaput. 862 01:25:26,878 --> 01:25:30,757 Sure I'll marry you, and next Tuesday'll be perfect. 863 01:25:31,842 --> 01:25:35,595 OK, but I wanna have kids. 864 01:25:39,016 --> 01:25:40,726 Great. 865 01:25:43,979 --> 01:25:46,023 So maybe I was wrong. 866 01:25:46,148 --> 01:25:51,570 Maybe women really are like a big jigsaw puzzle with pieces that just don't fit. 867 01:25:51,695 --> 01:25:55,657 All I know is there's three things men can't possibly ever do. 868 01:25:55,782 --> 01:26:00,120 Understand women. Give birth. 869 01:26:00,245 --> 01:26:02,789 And programme the VCR. 870 01:26:03,915 --> 01:26:07,044 - Giving birth is the easy one. - Ned? 871 01:26:07,169 --> 01:26:09,713 Knock off the chatter, will you? 872 01:26:30,233 --> 01:26:33,236 ♪ Hey, where did we go 873 01:26:33,362 --> 01:26:35,947 ♪ Days when the rains came? 874 01:26:36,531 --> 01:26:38,575 ♪ Down in the hollow 875 01:26:39,826 --> 01:26:41,870 ♪ Playin' a new game 876 01:26:43,080 --> 01:26:46,166 ♪ Laughing and running, hey, hey 877 01:26:46,291 --> 01:26:49,211 ♪ Skipping and jumping 878 01:26:49,336 --> 01:26:54,716 ♪ In the misty morning fog with our hearts thumpin' 879 01:26:54,841 --> 01:26:59,346 ♪ And you, my brown-eyed girl 880 01:27:01,890 --> 01:27:05,435 ♪ You, my brown-eyed girl 881 01:27:08,981 --> 01:27:14,069 ♪ Whatever happened to Tuesday and so slow? 882 01:27:14,945 --> 01:27:20,325 ♪ Goin' down the old mine with a transistor radio 883 01:27:21,618 --> 01:27:24,579 ♪ Standin' in the sunlight laughin' 884 01:27:24,705 --> 01:27:27,708 ♪ Hidin' behind a rainbow's wall 885 01:27:27,833 --> 01:27:33,088 ♪ Slipping and sliding all along the waterfall 886 01:27:33,213 --> 01:27:37,759 ♪ With you, my brown-eyed girl 887 01:27:40,345 --> 01:27:43,849 ♪ You, my brown-eyed girl 888 01:27:45,434 --> 01:27:49,813 ♪ Do you remember when we used to sing 889 01:27:49,938 --> 01:27:54,860 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 890 01:27:54,985 --> 01:27:56,278 ♪ Just like that 891 01:27:56,403 --> 01:28:01,408 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 892 01:28:01,533 --> 01:28:02,617 ♪ La-te-da 893 01:28:02,743 --> 01:28:07,456 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 894 01:28:07,581 --> 01:28:08,874 ♪ Just like that 895 01:28:08,999 --> 01:28:14,129 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da 896 01:28:14,254 --> 01:28:15,339 ♪ La-te-da 897 01:28:15,464 --> 01:28:19,468 ♪ Sha-la la la-la la-la la-la la la-te-da