1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:04,421 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:08,842 What, that cute little dimple? Well, I think I've still got it. 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,427 It's kind of hard for me to see back there. 4 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,682 Renee, I'm gonna have to get back to you. 5 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,684 Yeah, bye-bye. 6 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,896 Linda, sweetheart, can we continue this over lunch? 7 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:25,234 Well, your place. Don't cook. 8 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,531 Let me guess. Personal call? 9 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,199 Very. 10 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,952 Malone, I find winking really smarmy. 11 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,621 Yeah, but beneath this smarm is a lot of charm 12 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,540 and I think you know that. 13 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:45,003 I know this, I want you out of my office. Now. 14 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,255 All right, all right. 15 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,466 I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to get personal calls here, 16 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,386 but what the hey? Super-Strength Sammy's been off the shelves now 17 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,846 for over a year. There's a lot of pent-up demand out there. 18 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,351 - What can I say? - Say, "I better get back to work. 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,311 I don't want to get fired." 20 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,856 You're cute when you're humorless. You know that? 21 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,693 Cheers. 22 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,611 No, Simone, I'm sorry. Sam's working. 23 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:10,988 Simone? Wait, wait, wait. 24 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,864 Try him later at home. 25 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,952 Well, then perhaps on your next visit to the States. 26 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:23,333 Simone? Come on, you just cost me a roll in the hay. 27 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,085 - I owe you one. - You're on. 28 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,255 I didn't mean that! Wait, I think we need to get something-- 29 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,954 Cliff, listen to this, 30 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,792 "Scientists discover wild parrot who claims to be Elvis." 31 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,004 So? 32 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:57,636 So, I mean, this one wins the Too Stupid for Even You, Cliff Award. 33 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,765 Oh, really, must you two wallow in this sensationalistic tripe? 34 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:05,602 It really pains me no end to see America's wits dulled 35 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:09,356 and her morals abrogated by this opiate of the asses. 36 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,068 Well, listen, and check this out, Cliff ie. 37 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,028 "I Was Sigmund Freud's Love Child." 38 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:20,367 No! I'd heard rumors that he'd betrayed Martha with his sister-in-law, 39 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,160 but I never dreamed there were progeny. 40 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,998 You rapscallions. 41 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,046 What are you whistling about, huh? 42 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,631 You haven't got a dime to your name, 43 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,675 you're working for a woman who's a meat grinder, 44 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,345 and you look like a baboon in that uniform. 45 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,765 Boy, life really stinks. 46 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,026 - You okay? - I feel like puke. 47 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,612 Well, you're wearing the right uniform. 48 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,074 - You wanna talk about it? - No. 49 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:05,579 What's there to say about a no-good, ice-eating little geek like Eddie LeBec? 50 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:09,332 He's known since a week ago that I got his bun in my oven, 51 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,169 and what the hell has he done about it? Jack diddly. 52 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,966 Don't look now, but your ice-eating geek just walked in. 53 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,511 Don't you just love him? 54 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,139 - Hi, Carla. - Hi, Eddie. 55 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,474 You busy? 56 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,227 Just a minute. Look, would you just write down what you want 57 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,271 and hand it to Howdy doody over there? 58 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,192 - I'm all yours. - Okay. 59 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:39,237 - So, what's new? - Well, I've had a lot on my mind lately. 60 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,156 - Yeah. - You know, 61 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,450 training camp's really been rough, 62 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,285 and a lot of competition at goalie, 63 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,621 and really having to work my tail off to keep up, eh? 64 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,248 - Sounds rough. - Yeah. 65 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:54,586 Say, since I'm here, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. 66 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,755 - Yeah? - It's a question. 67 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,716 I like questions. 68 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:03,053 Okay, but this is the kind of question a guy really doesn't wanna ask 69 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,180 if he thinks he might get "no' for an answer. 70 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,974 Well, it's kind of hard for a girl to give an answer 71 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,352 until she knows what the question is. 72 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:14,231 Okay, but it would be a lot easier for a guy if he had some sort of sign-- 73 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,817 - Ask me, you little frog! - Okay. 74 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,736 - Carla, would you--? - Yes! Yes! 75 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,948 - Yes. - Oh, oh, thank you, thank you. 76 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,700 Carla, do you mind if we, you know, we keep this quiet? 77 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,078 You know me. I don't like a lot of hoopla. 78 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:31,081 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 79 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,752 - Would it be okay if I just told Sam? - I guess. 80 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,964 Hey, Sammy, me and Eddie are getting married! 81 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,550 Oh, my God. 82 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,386 Get over here, Eddie. 83 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,348 - What's going on? - Great news, Miss Howe. 84 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,016 Carla's marrying Eddie LeBec. 85 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,353 Oh, that cute little guy with the dents in his nose. 86 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,649 Hey, listen up, everybody. 87 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,443 Wait, wait, wait. Here we go, here we go, here we go. 88 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,238 I wanna be making a toast to my beautiful bride-to-be. 89 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,740 Listen, you know, I don't make my living using words, 90 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,076 so this is gonna be kind of hard for me, okay? 91 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,828 But here goes. 92 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,621 Carla... 93 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,457 Well, you know. 94 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,920 Well, you know. 95 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,422 Yeah. 96 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,008 I love you, sweetie. 97 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:27,220 Congratulations, man. This is terrific. You gonna take her on a honeymoon? 98 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,140 - Hey, got any suggestions? - Yeah, New Orleans. 99 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,933 I found a great little honeymoon spot 100 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,852 just kind of tucked away off Bourbon Street. 101 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,897 Great food, very romantic, steamy atmosphere, you know. 102 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:41,568 Yeah, I had the time of my life and then Vera tracked me down. 103 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,113 Well, if I get any time off from training camp, 104 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,324 I thought maybe Carla might like to see Waikiki. 105 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,744 Waikiki? Honolulu, Hawaii? 106 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,078 Sure, we'll hit them all. 107 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,081 Yeah, all right! 108 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,876 I only hope I can get some time off from the Howitzer. 109 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,713 Sorry. Miss Howitzer. 110 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,926 Time off? You'll be having all the time in the world. 111 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,887 You think I'll be having a wife of mine work in a crummy bar like this? 112 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,307 No of fence, Miss Howitzer. 113 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,309 It's Miss Howe. 114 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,771 Oh, take it easy. They're just complimenting your big guns. 115 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:24,235 Wait a minute. You're telling me that I don't have to work anymore? 116 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,031 You mean I can just sit around the house all day 117 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:32,661 eating peanut butter out of a jar and watching my toenails grow? 118 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,080 She's quite a catch, Ed. 119 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,920 Boy, you know, I'm gonna miss you around here. 120 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,465 Oh, Sammy, I'll drop by once in a while 121 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,052 to watch all you nine-to-fivers spill drinks on your butler suits. 122 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:54,099 - So when's the big day, Carla? - I'd like to do it as soon as possible 123 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,935 before my little hunk of back bacon here changes his mind. 124 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,771 Oh, no way. I'm not one of those flakes you used to go out with. 125 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,482 But listen, we have to get married on a day with a two in it 126 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,944 - because two's my lucky number. - Rats. Mine's three. 127 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,697 Oh, no sweat. Lucky two, lucky three. 128 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,032 We can get married on the 23rd or the 32nd. 129 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,579 - That's right, honey. - Oh, right, right, no. 130 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,415 Well, as long as it's not on a Wednesday. 131 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,167 - Oh, yeah, bad juju. - Yeah. 132 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,627 This is gonna be an interesting wedding. 133 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,046 The two most superstitious people in the world. 134 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,048 Hey, don't say that. It's bad luck. 135 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,761 Listen, whatever you do, don't make any plans afterwards 136 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,723 because we're gonna throw you the biggest wedding reception 137 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,433 - in history right here. - Oh, great! 138 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,976 Come on. 139 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,937 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 140 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,982 Force of habit. Not my place to do that. I'm sorry. 141 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,069 Miss Howe's gonna throw you the biggest wedding reception. 142 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,906 I need to talk to you right now. 143 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,535 - Oh, boy. Wait-- - Exactly what-- 144 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,121 Before you say anything, let me just-- I had an idea. 145 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:01,583 Why don't you invite your boss, what's-his-name, Evan Drake? 146 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,209 He's a sports fan, so I hear, 147 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,962 and maybe he'd enjoy meeting Eddie LeBec there. 148 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,672 You know, you could throw him a big bash. 149 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,841 Impress the pants off him. 150 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,385 What were you gonna say? 151 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,554 I was going to tell you to smile more. 152 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,599 I didn't say smugly. 153 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,435 Excuse me, I have a phone call to make. 154 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,772 Well, hey, Eduardo, looks like you and Carla 155 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,356 aren't the only lovebirds in town. 156 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,443 - Check out Didi and David there. - Who? 157 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,195 Didi and David Lesofski. 158 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:34,199 The Weekly Gabber's Odd Couple of the Month. 159 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:37,410 See, she weighs in there at 480 pounds, 160 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:42,540 and he tips the scales at a mere 92. 161 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:46,336 But they're-- I mean, just look at the love in his eyes. 162 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,004 I think that's fear, Cliff. 163 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,716 Cute baby he's holding. 164 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,718 That's her arm, Woody. 165 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,012 Cute arm he's holding. 166 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,766 Hey, picked the date yet? 167 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:04,646 Yep. Eddie wants to do it a week from Saturday, anytime before 4 p.m., 168 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,899 which is okay with my psychic as long as our auras 169 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:11,486 remain in the blue spectrum and there's no solar eclipse. 170 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,948 It's really tough planning a wedding, isn't it? 171 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,282 Tell me about it. 172 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,537 I'm just a little nervous about waiting eight days. 173 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,164 Gives Eddie an awful long time to come to his senses. 174 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,041 Look at him. 175 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,835 He's absorbed in thought over there. 176 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,384 Well, maybe not. 177 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,889 There. 178 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,683 The table looks nice. 179 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,561 Woody, don't you think the table looks nice? I think it looks nice. 180 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,271 - Looks nice. - You think so? 181 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,192 Oh, damn, I bet chuckle brain forgot to pick up the napkins. 182 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,528 Oh, no, Sam didn't forget. 183 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,740 Eddie brought these special wedding ones they had made up. 184 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:02,745 "We don't want to get married. We have to. Ha-ha." 185 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,708 Cute. 186 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,043 You see the little hillbilly with the shotgun? 187 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,089 Yes, he's nice, isn't he? 188 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,467 But I think these are just a little too funny for the reception. 189 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,386 Burn them. 190 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,931 Did you remember to get the cinnamon-almond decaf? 191 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,226 Yeah, I did. Who likes that? 192 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,103 Evan does. Everyone does. 193 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:33,443 Excuse me, Miss Howe, I know it's none of my beeswax, 194 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,529 but it seems to me like you're awfully nervous 195 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,489 about Mr. Drake coming by today. 196 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,534 Do you like him or something? 197 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,454 In a business sense, yes. 198 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:48,041 I admire his skills and accomplishments. 199 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,250 You like him. 200 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,798 Boys, we're all set up with my buddy Bruce. 201 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,967 He can get us the same silverware Carla picked out 202 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,220 from the Filene's catalogue for over two-thirds off. 203 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,389 Oh, yeah. So, what's the bite sky? 204 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,516 Twenty bucks apiece. I'll catch you guys later. 205 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,602 Say, Norm, there isn't any chance that this stuff 206 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,396 - is stolen merchandise, is there? - No, of course not. 207 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,609 Listen, if anyone asks, we never heard of Bruce, we can't find the receipt, 208 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,862 and if you run into me up on the street, call me Larry. 209 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,242 My mind's at ease. 210 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,702 Hey, Sam, what are you concocting there? 211 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,788 Oh, you know how superstitious Carla and Eddie are. 212 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,708 I thought I'd mix them up a batch of my good-luck wedding punch. 213 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,418 Never fails. 214 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,212 Oh, isn't that the same stuff you made 215 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,799 when you were getting married to Miss Chambers? 216 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,344 Woody, you wanna flush this down the toilet? 217 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,180 - Hi, guys. - Hey. 218 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,559 Carla, what are you doing here on your wedding day? 219 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,437 Oh, actually, I came by to get my last paycheck. 220 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,315 See, the bridal shop has this policy about their wedding gowns: 221 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,192 "Fork over the jack or it stays on the rack." 222 00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,236 So where is it? 223 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:03,616 Oh, I'm so sorry that I don't have it ready for you right this very second. 224 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,744 I guess I've just been busy putting up every single decoration 225 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,497 and ordering all the hors d'oeuvres and getting a band together 226 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,457 at the very last minute so that your reception 227 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,294 could be just perfect for you. 228 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,962 Could you step on it? I'm in a hurry. 229 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,133 Soda, bartender. 230 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,551 Coming right up. 231 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,512 So how's the bride on her big day? 232 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,349 Couldn't be better, Sammy. All celestial omens are favorable. 233 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,352 Seems that Eddie and I picked the one day of this century 234 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,981 when all the planets and constellations are in perfect alignment. 235 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,191 So either we get married by 4:00 today 236 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,528 or we wait until the year 2042. 237 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,280 I don't know. Call me old-fashioned, 238 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,742 but I still think you ought to get married before your baby does. 239 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,621 How did you manage to swing a church wedding? 240 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,040 You know, being divorced and all? 241 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,044 Don't you remember? I had my marriage to Nick annulled years ago. 242 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,172 Oh, right, right, right. It took forever. 243 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,007 But things got speeded up 244 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,092 when Nick tried to sell the bishop his watch. 245 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,723 Hey, isn't that Eddie LeBec sashaying down those stairs there, Doc? 246 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:09,891 It sure looks like it. 247 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,518 But Carla's here. isn't there some superstition about the groom 248 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,478 seeing the bride before the wedding? 249 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,903 Nobody believes in that anymore. 250 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,913 - You saw me. - I saw you. 251 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,624 - I saw you see me. - I saw you see me see you. 252 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,501 Shut up, you're making it worse. 253 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:41,047 Oh, my God. We were so careful about every single thing 254 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,467 and then we blew the single most important superstition of all. 255 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,803 Seeing the bride on the day of the wedding. 256 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,639 - What are you doing here? - I was meeting my mother. 257 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,725 - What are you doing here? - I came by to get my check. 258 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,562 That's it. We've blown it. We can't get married now. 259 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,440 Call me in 2042. 260 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,150 Yeah, okay, I'll see you. 261 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,071 You guys are kidding. Come on, now. Eddie. 262 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,533 What am I doing? 263 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,867 Carla. 264 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,121 Look, I don't wanna give up the best thing that ever happened to me. 265 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:16,958 Oh, come off it, Eddie. You're just as superstitious as I am. 266 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,626 Well, not anymore. 267 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:22,046 And I'm gonna prove to you there's nothing to all that mumbo jumbo. 268 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,090 Woody, hand me a mirror. 269 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,592 You know, the one Sam's always looking at himself in. 270 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,762 - What are you gonna do? - I'm gonna break it. 271 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,933 The bad luck is starting already. He's lost his mind. 272 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,645 Hey, that's my mirror. 273 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,649 You see? Nothing. 274 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,776 The ground didn't open up and swallow me. 275 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,862 That's because they want you out in the open 276 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,780 where lightning can get you. 277 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,367 Don't do that! 278 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,245 Which shoulder do you throw salt over to avoid bad luck? 279 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,038 The left, the left. 280 00:15:56,205 --> 00:16:01,502 No! No, no. Forgive him, demons of hell, he's a hockey player. 281 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,589 Don't. Don't answer it. Don't, don't. 282 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,174 - Cheers. - Thanks, Woody. 283 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,550 Carla, it's for you. 284 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,929 Go on. Go on, answer it. 285 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,391 - Yeah. - Would you take it? 286 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,560 Come on. 287 00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,023 Hello? 288 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,984 Oh, hi, Dr. Natelson. 289 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,570 How did my tests come out? 290 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,656 You've gotta be kidding. 291 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,783 What? What is it? 292 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:33,993 Twins. 293 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:41,459 He spills the salt, he breaks the mirror, and I'm the one having twins! 294 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,295 I told you something horrible was gonna happen. 295 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:45,963 What is so bad? 296 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,924 Twins means we're twice blessed. 297 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,550 Yeah, I had twins once. 298 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,636 It was the happiest day of my life. 299 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,681 Oh, lighten up, lighten up. 300 00:16:57,391 --> 00:17:01,270 Carla. Carla, this is great. 301 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,897 Eddie. 302 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,359 You're really happy about this? 303 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,653 I'm the happiest man on Earth. 304 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,155 Listen, Carla, you and me, we can-- 305 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:15,243 We can overcome any obstacles that are in our way. 306 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,872 You're a great guy, Eddie. 307 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:24,126 Dumb as a skate blade, but a great guy. 308 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,087 Ma! 309 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,548 Oh, my baby's home! 310 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,883 You see, I knew things would look up. 311 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,512 - What's wrong? - Ma, nothing. Everything's aces. 312 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,473 It's just that, hey, when you called about getting remarried, 313 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,433 I realized how much I love you. 314 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,394 I just wanted to be with you on this day. 315 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,312 And? 316 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,565 And Dad's TV shop went under. 317 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,441 We got evicted, and I can't get unemployment 318 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:50,027 because Daddy didn't claim me an employee. 319 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:55,449 Well, I'm just glad my little boy's here for my wedding. 320 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,327 What about his lovely wife? 321 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,830 I'm just glad my little boy's here for my wedding. 322 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:08,337 Actually, Mother Tortelli, we didn't wanna return to Vegas. 323 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,673 We don't think it's any place for children to grow up. 324 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,927 - You're having a kid? - I'm talking about us. 325 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,099 So if we could find someone here in Boston 326 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,644 with a nice house and lots of extra room... 327 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,606 Do you know anyone like that, Mother Tortelli? 328 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:33,029 No, no, no. You don't wanna come live in my little, tiny, overcrowded house. 329 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:36,240 Ma, it's just temporary. Just till I get back on my feet. 330 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,411 Hey, if it's a problem, we'll find someplace else to stay. 331 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,498 Yeah, I think I saw a nice cardboard box in the alley. 332 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,501 See? See? What did I tell you? 333 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,879 This is the bad luck I've been warning you about. 334 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,798 Carla, don't worry about it. I mean, the more the merrier. 335 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,384 Look, I'm gonna get a major salary bump this season 336 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,678 and then I'll buy us all the biggest house in Boston. 337 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,724 - A new house? - Well, you bet. 338 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,519 Now do you finally believe that nothing bad is gonna happen? 339 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,356 No. I'll just have more closet space when it does. 340 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,942 Anthony, I'm Eddie LeBec. 341 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,861 I guess I'm your new stepfather. 342 00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,780 I'm hoping one day you'll call me Dad. 343 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,076 Hey, Nick Tortelli is my dad. 344 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,995 You are not my father and you never will be! 345 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,955 - Anthony! - You only knocked up my Ma 346 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,956 so she'd have to marry you. 347 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,252 Ma, I'm sorry, the guy was asking for it. 348 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,339 Come on, Annie, let's go. 349 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:37,009 Forgive him. He has the hot passion of his race. 350 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:40,680 And I have the envy of every woman I know. 351 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,019 Well, this is it. 352 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,312 This is the bad luck. 353 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:51,273 I mean, what could be worse than my kid hating my husband? 354 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,151 Look, it's okay. He's just a kid. 355 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,863 Oh, you don't get it, Eddie. He's the nicest one I got. 356 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,742 Look, Carla, he's just being protective of his mother. 357 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,619 I mean, God knows that I think my mom 358 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,746 is the greatest woman on Earth. 359 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:08,541 And I can only hope that our kids feel the same way. 360 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,877 Are you from this planet? 361 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:18,175 - Carla, here's your final paycheck. - Thank you. 362 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,470 I might say that you have been a unique employee, 363 00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:24,640 and it's gonna be very difficult to fill your uniform. 364 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,767 - Thanks. - You don't happen to know 365 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,854 any other short pregnant cocktail waitresses, do you? 366 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,945 - Yeah? Can I help you? - Eddie LeBec. 367 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:39,655 Mama! 368 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,835 Carla. 369 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,712 Carla. 370 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,088 Carla. 371 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,215 Mama. Mama. 372 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,354 - Carla! - No, no, Mama. 373 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,693 No, no, no. Me, Rebecca. 374 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,196 Her, Carla. 375 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,364 Enjoy. 376 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,411 - Carla? - I'm so happy to meet you. 377 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,213 Ma. 378 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,089 Ma. 379 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:40,883 Mama. 380 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,426 Mama. 381 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,346 She says she has to catch a bus. 382 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:46,555 Mama! 383 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,561 I get the feeling she wasn't nuts about me. 384 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:56,524 - What'd she say? - What makes you think I'd know? 385 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:59,151 Because all you pompous windbags speak French. 386 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,531 Well, she said she'll never allow this marriage, 387 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:06,575 especially to a pregnant hussy who's only trying to trap her son. 388 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:11,080 Then she said she'd rather be dragged around town by her tongue. 389 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,208 Or else she called you a small grapefruit. 390 00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,130 Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, wait a minute. 391 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,968 Before you say anything, I know what your mother said. 392 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,263 And it doesn't matter to me. 393 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,515 You finally convinced me 394 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:33,185 that our love can conquer any bad luck that comes our way. 395 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,146 I mean it. Anthony and Annie moving in. 396 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:39,483 Your ma hating me. Anthony hating you. Twins. 397 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:42,903 I mean, every time one of these little piddly things came up, 398 00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:44,488 I kept thinking you were gonna say, 399 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,657 - 'The wedding's off.' - The wedding's off. 400 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,118 Yeah. That's what I kept expecting you to say. 401 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,953 - The wedding's off. - Yeah, yeah, 402 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,663 we're all clear on what I thought you'd say. 403 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:54,874 The wedding's off. 404 00:22:57,668 --> 00:22:59,545 But you never said it.