1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,242 2 00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:03,043 male narrator: The American superstore. 3 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:05,508 One-stop shopping 4 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,906 for everything you could ever want or need. 5 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,679 Do you want to be thinner? 6 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,778 Fatter? 7 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,650 Happier? 8 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,618 Sadder? 9 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,117 Are you looking for friendship? 10 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,160 Or solitude? 11 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,185 Or even love? 12 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,831 - That's actually a cubic zirconia knockoff. 13 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,296 It's called PlastiClear. 14 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:28,555 - What happened to the $8 ones? 15 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,262 - We're all sold out of those, sorry. 16 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,034 But this one's only $2 more. 17 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,032 - I get it. 18 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,343 You advertise the cheap jewelry 19 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,535 to get the suckers in the door, 20 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,996 then you push the expensive stuff. 21 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,674 - Well, I wouldn't use the word "suckers," 22 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,112 or "expensive," 23 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,578 or "jewelry." 24 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,135 - [sighs] 25 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,414 Fine. 26 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,182 I got to stand in line for cigarettes anyhow. 27 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,420 - Great. 28 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,375 I hope you and your fiancée are very happy together... 29 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,815 And that you don't procreate. 30 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,061 Glenn. - Huh? 31 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,755 - I'm taking a mental-health break. 32 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,487 - Okay. Have fun now. 33 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,603 Reflect. 34 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,195 - Just checking over your new hire forms. 35 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,139 American citizen. Nice. 36 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,135 [chuckles] 37 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,196 No dependents. 38 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,743 Me neither, unless you count my birds. 39 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,008 [both laugh] 40 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,935 It just doesn't say anywhere on here 41 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,311 if you've got a girlfriend. 42 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,050 - I didn't-- is there a space for that? 43 00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,145 - There's this section here: 44 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,747 "Is there anything else we should know?" 45 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,478 Some people like to volunteer it. 46 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,423 - Oh. Um...then also no. 47 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,619 - No. - No. 48 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,720 - Okay, well, I will just jot that down, then. 49 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,363 But you are heterosexual, right? 50 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,889 - Is--are you allowed to ask that? 51 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,504 - No. 52 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:40,927 - Smart. 53 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,644 We always keep the best rolls right in the middle. 54 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,937 [sighs] 55 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,768 - Oh, wait. No, no, no. Let me help you with that. 56 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,984 - Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. 57 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:48,975 - It's fine, I work here. 58 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:50,076 It's, like, my-- 59 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,777 it's my job to help customers, so. 60 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,309 - You work here? 61 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,424 Since when? 62 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:55,645 - Since right now. 63 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,849 I'm--it's actually my first day. 64 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,191 - Oh. - I know. 65 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,647 I don't seem like the kind of person 66 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,394 who would work in a place like this. 67 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,060 - [laughs] 68 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,827 Yeah, that's why I was so surprised. 69 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,196 I was like, "What?" 70 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,495 - "What?" - "Him?" 71 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,296 - "What's he doing cleaning up toilet paper?" 72 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,228 - I think it's because you just--you have this 73 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:15,503 very intelligent, educated, more cultured quality, 74 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,503 I mean, compared to... 75 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,374 - Yeah. Oh, hey. 76 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,042 Look, I get that you're complimenting me, 77 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,740 but it might sound a little condescending, 78 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:22,742 so, you know... 79 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:23,843 - Oh, yeah, thanks. 80 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,754 No, I wouldn't want to sound condescending 81 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,216 in front of somebody who works here. 82 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,215 - Right. 83 00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:29,246 [laughs] 84 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,450 - [moaning] 85 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,391 Hey, can I run out for two minutes? 86 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,686 This thing is kicking my bladder 87 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,957 like it owes him money. 88 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,585 - Oh, you know what, I'm actually not in charge-- 89 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,390 - Yes, of course. I'll take Carly off express. 90 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,532 And Vivian can bag, so take as long as you need. 91 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,058 - Ah, thanks. 92 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,574 - Little tip: 93 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,298 don't let the other workers here 94 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,243 know how much better than them you are. 95 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,269 They hate that. 96 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,943 I don't know why, maybe because 97 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,581 it sounds condescending. 98 00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,608 Welcome. 99 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,022 - I'm... 100 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,093 No, no, no, no! 101 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:15,762 [upbeat music] 102 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,273 - All right, campers, listen up. 103 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,795 I've got an important announcement. 104 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,899 This is your garden variety generic decongestant. 105 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,342 And this is crystal meth, okay? 106 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,838 The tweakers use this to make this. 107 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,881 So stop selling them this, so they can't make this. 108 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,408 - That guy told me he had a really bad cold. 109 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,454 - He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne. 110 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,289 That should have been a red flag, okay? 111 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,285 Use your noggin. 112 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:40,286 - Let's thank Dina 113 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,918 for that helpful tip of the day. 114 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,062 Thank you, Dina. 115 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,386 - Am I the only one that thinks it's weird 116 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,062 that she walking around with a bag of crystal meth? 117 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,299 - Hey, listen. 118 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,595 I--I think there might have been a misunderstanding. 119 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,697 I'm not an elitist, so... 120 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,299 - Oh, elitist? What is that? 121 00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,572 - Like, a person who thinks their better than... 122 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,910 You know what elitist means. 123 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,306 - Oh, yeah. 124 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:02,308 They learnt that to us in public school. 125 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:05,080 - Anyway, I am so proud 126 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:10,478 to welcome two new angels to our Cloud 9 family. 127 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,694 Why don't you introduce yourselves? 128 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:13,916 - Okay. 129 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,321 Hello, everyone. 130 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,563 I am Jonah. 131 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,758 And I am-- I am excited to be here. 132 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,460 This is gonna be fun, so... 133 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,902 - My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag, 134 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,338 and I'm here to make something of myself. 135 00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,965 * Spread my wings 136 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,199 Whoo! 137 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,113 See how far I can fly. 138 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,475 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 139 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:38,575 - Yeah, I, too, would like to see how far I can fly. 140 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,781 So... 141 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,183 - Saved it. - Thank you. 142 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:47,394 - Now, I used to end these meetings 143 00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,988 with some wisdom from the Good Book. 144 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,190 But then someone reported me to corporate. 145 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,492 - Heck yeah, I did. 146 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,864 Look, I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, 147 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,233 my bible is the employee code of conduct. 148 00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,631 - We all thank you for it. 149 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,203 - Yeah, you're welcome. 150 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,201 - I pray for you, Dina. 151 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,372 - I pray for you, too, Glenn. 152 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,541 - No, I'm praying right now. 153 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,908 - I'm praying so hard. 154 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,106 - I'm praying harder than you. 155 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,107 I know how. 156 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:11,038 So to welcome our new employees... 157 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,984 ["Jurassic Park" theme plays] 158 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:14,981 Welcome. 159 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,152 Welcome to Cloud 9. 160 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,120 - This is my jam. 161 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:22,119 ["Jurassic Park" theme] 162 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,292 163 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,061 - Hey, do we have any kind of training? 164 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,089 I've just been wandering 165 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,404 from one department to another, 166 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,126 trying to look like I have purpose. 167 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,800 - It works better if you carry a box. 168 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,800 There you go. See? 169 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:34,871 You'll learn as you go. 170 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,198 Look, man, only a couple things to remember: 171 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,814 always show up on time, don't steal, 172 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,877 and stay on the floor supervisor's good side. 173 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,235 - The fl--who's the floor supervisor? 174 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:48,751 [sighs] 175 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,419 - I got to go get another box. 176 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:55,423 - Hey, can we-- can we start over? 177 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,763 I'm...Jonah, as you know. 178 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,158 And you're Ramona. 179 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,829 - Nope, that is not my name. 180 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,098 I just don't like random strangers using my name 181 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,126 like we're buddies. 182 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,771 - Right, like how hookers 183 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,736 don't like to be kissed on the lips. 184 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,765 - Did you just compare me to a hooker? 185 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,044 - No. 186 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,209 - You look bored. 187 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,436 Let me help you with that. 188 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:17,142 All electronics are supposed to be 25% off, 189 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,714 but our POS system is down. 190 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,252 So you scan, hit "reassign," 191 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,179 "enter," "override, yes," 192 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,924 "reduce 0.25," "enter, yes, yes." 193 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,090 You are not paying attention. 194 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,118 - I'm sorry. Go ahead. 195 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,222 - "Confirm," "enter, yes." Got it? 196 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,234 - If I guessed your name, 197 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,455 would you tell me if I was right? 198 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,701 [Cheyenne shrieks] 199 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,626 - Take this. 200 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,731 - Oh, it's so pretty! 201 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,303 - I'll make a list. 202 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,266 - Oh, excuse me, miss. 203 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,341 Do you know the difference 204 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,968 between a stool softener and a laxative? 205 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,214 - I'll be right with you, ma'am. 206 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,608 Cheyenne, what's going on? 207 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,980 - My boyfriend just asked me to marry him. 208 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,109 - I don't want it soft. 209 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,523 I want it out of me. 210 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,486 - You know, I hadn't realized earlier 211 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,645 that Cheyenne was the lucky girl you'd be proposing to. 212 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:00,923 - Yeah, well, I knocked her up, 213 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:01,921 so my dad says I have to. 214 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:02,922 - [squeals joyfully] 215 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,163 - So romantic. 216 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,357 - That's how I do it, yo. 217 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,528 100% love. 218 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,027 - Bulking agent? 219 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,328 Why would I want more bulk? 220 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,359 - Ugh. 221 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,833 Chey, you didn't say yes, did you? 222 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,804 - Why wouldn't I say yes? 223 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:16,903 - Um... 224 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,072 Cheyenne, look at me. 225 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:23,713 I know how easy it is to get swept up in the... 226 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,181 romance of all of...this. 227 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,879 But... 228 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,521 think it through, okay? 229 00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,048 Don't do something you're gonna regret 230 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,552 for the rest of your life. 231 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,755 - Yeah, okay. 232 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,127 I'm gonna go sleep on it. 233 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,633 [a-ha's "Take On Me" playing] 234 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,068 - Hey. 235 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,539 I think I got it down. 236 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,108 - No offense, but you're my competition, 237 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,576 so I'm kind of actually rooting for you to fail. 238 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:56,876 Okay, thanks. Bye. 239 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,949 - [speaking indistinctly] 240 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,918 - Hey! 241 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,146 I figured it out. 242 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,862 - We need new shelf flags for the end caps, 243 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,461 but we should check the DCPIs first, 244 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,632 because last time... 245 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,070 What is happening? 246 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,696 - Could it be a race riot? 247 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,771 It's so hard to tell in the early stages. 248 00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,811 Could be the rapture, 249 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,466 but then why am I still here? 250 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,210 - Hey. 251 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,811 I am killing it over here. 252 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,383 - You're only discounting everything 25%, right? 253 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:38,322 - Yeah, "scan, "reassign," "yes," "override," 254 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,318 "yes," "reprice--" 255 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,219 - Reduce. - Huh? 256 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,361 - Reduce 0.25. 257 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,715 Reprice 0.25? 258 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,794 That would change everything to 25¢. 259 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,833 [clamoring] 260 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,872 Shut it down! 261 00:08:59,640 --> 00:08:59,770 . 262 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:01,208 [scanners beeping] 263 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:05,610 - If you sign up for our Heavenly Shoppers program today, 264 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,623 you'll save 15% off your purchase, 265 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,815 which would drop your price to 22¢. 266 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,277 - Stop selling everything! 267 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,294 Shut it down! 268 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,315 Shut it all down! 269 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,720 Sir, you need to stay right there. 270 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,322 Frank, nobody leaves! 271 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,493 Ma'am! Ma'am, I'm sorry. 272 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,331 I'm gonna need to recheck some of these items. 273 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,627 - No thank you, buh-bye. 274 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,029 - I'm sorry, I can't just let you leave 275 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,800 with a whole basket full of 25¢ tech-- 276 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:25,968 Ow! 277 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,526 - I have more where that came from, lady! 278 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,704 - Oh, I don't think so! 279 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,102 [both grunting] 280 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,403 - Attention, shoppers. 281 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,074 Due to an employee error, 282 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,043 very expensive electronics 283 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,042 are pricing out at 25¢. 284 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,284 This mistake is being corrected, so... 285 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,409 stock up quick! 286 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,723 Go, go, go, go! 287 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,175 - What I'm trying to say is, this is not 25¢. 288 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,924 - [arguing indistinctly] 289 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,089 - Sir, no-- 290 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,117 - [arguing indistinctly] 291 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,361 - No two-five, no. 292 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,226 - It touched my car; it's mine! 293 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,225 - That's not a thing. - It is a thing. 294 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,127 - I don't want to be "that guy," 295 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:59,569 but if you had to compare my performance versus Jonah... 296 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,436 - Uh, okay. 297 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,935 - Yeah, you better hurry up, girl. 298 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,637 You better get that TV. 299 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,079 - Stop, stop! Please, I'm begging you! 300 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,205 - She's very--she's-- they're very pretty, yep. 301 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,110 - Ow! Frank! 302 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,282 - Y'all don't want to do this. 303 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,550 Please! 304 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,547 [gunshot] 305 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,948 - Sale's over! 306 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,951 - There's no need to identify 307 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,994 whoever it is 308 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,160 whose fault this was. 309 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,088 We can all learn a lesson here. 310 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,664 - Would that lesson be not letting Jonah 311 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,462 reprice inventory in the future? 312 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,131 - It might be, yes. 313 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,743 All right. Punctuality. 314 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,536 I do not tolerate it, 315 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,967 because I do not tolerate it in myself. 316 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,573 I am an angry man, so I get places early... 317 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,414 - Hey... 318 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,610 do they allow employees to date supervisors? 319 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,953 - I don't know. Why? 320 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,119 - Just curious. 321 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,317 - Let's always remember, 322 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,588 the customer is always right. 323 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,730 - Hey, what's-your-name, check it out. 324 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,495 - Ah. 325 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,069 I was wondering what was taking so long 326 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,468 to stack a few cans. 327 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,009 - I just--I wanted to reiterate 328 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,865 how sorry I am about before. 329 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,744 - And when a customer wants a can of ginger root beer 330 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,584 and the whole thing collapses on top of them, 331 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,448 how are you gonna feel then? 332 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,583 - I was just trying to have some fun. 333 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,894 - This might be a cultural thing, but around here, 334 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,987 the less screwing everything up you do, the better. 335 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,919 - You talking about the cans or the pricing thing? 336 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,594 - You see, the fact that it's your first day 337 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,192 and there's already more than one option 338 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,904 of things you screwed up is not a good thing. 339 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,526 - Okay, I've made some mistakes. 340 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,070 I can admit that, but that doesn't mean 341 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,166 we can't have a little fun at work, does it? 342 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,668 Or try and find some moments of beauty 343 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:43,669 in the everyday? 344 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,270 - Wait, I'm sorry. 345 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,572 Did you really just use the phrase "moments of beauty," 346 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,084 like, conversationally? 347 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,406 - Okay, yes, that's cheesy, but... 348 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,081 Do you remember "American Beauty"? 349 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:57,081 Even a plastic bag can be breathtaking. 350 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,123 - Wow. 351 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,164 That really blew my mind. 352 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,159 Like... 353 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,560 [mimics explosion] 354 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,161 I have goose bumps. 355 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,203 - I felt something. 356 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,567 I'm Jonah. 357 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,138 It's my first day. 358 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:22,282 [carts crash lightly] 359 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,535 [crashing] 360 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,854 [clattering] 361 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,547 - Okay. Stay still. 362 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,579 - I don't usually wear eyeliner. 363 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,354 Sharpie occasionally, but... 364 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:36,563 - So tell me about this special guy. 365 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:37,826 - Okay. 366 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,525 Male, Caucasian, 367 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,826 no discernible scars or tattoos. 368 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,030 - Sounds dreamy. 369 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,632 - Yeah. 370 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,303 - You know, speaking of boys, 371 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,241 I've got a pretty big decision to make. 372 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,837 My boyfriend, he-- 373 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,569 - I'm glad we could bond like this. 374 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,635 Thank you. 375 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,352 - Excuse me, excuse me! 376 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,677 Hi! 377 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,721 I hung up everything that was in the dressing rooms, 378 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,846 and I organized it by style, color, size, 379 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,653 and relevance of designer. 380 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:10,064 - Wow. Good job. 381 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,657 - I enjoy hard work. 382 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:12,988 It's just like my mom always said: 383 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,503 "If you don't work hard, Baby Jesus will cry." 384 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,595 - Okay. 385 00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:17,866 - I don't think I could be happy 386 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,125 fooling around in the parking lot 387 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,902 like the other new guy. 388 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,371 - Slow down! This is not fair! 389 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,769 You have more experience on wheels than I do! 390 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,171 - Your disability is not my concern! 391 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,184 - Seriously? 392 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,976 The only thing I asked you to do was put the carts away. 393 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,049 - That's what I'm doing, 394 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,646 just somewhat circuitously. 395 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,518 - See you later, sucka! 396 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,687 - Are you trying to get fired? 397 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,016 What if Glenn sees this? 398 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,121 - Coming through! 399 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,933 Move! 400 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,185 - That doesn't count. 401 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,103 - Go, Glenn! Yeah! 402 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,255 Yeah! Yes! 403 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,763 In your faces! 404 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,074 Your faces! 405 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,396 Ha-ha! 406 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,271 - Okay. I get it. 407 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,369 You're the fun guy. 408 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,570 I'm the stick in the mud. 409 00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,611 Well, I could be fun. 410 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,966 I could have fun; let's have fun. 411 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,084 - Of course you can have fun. 412 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,105 - Whoo! 413 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,780 We're playing at work. 414 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:06,778 - No brakes! 415 00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:07,779 I have no brakes! 416 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:13,150 . 417 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:15,724 [Nick Gilder's "Hot Child In The City" plays] 418 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,830 419 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,463 - Peace offering. 420 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,834 - Are those the flowers 421 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,942 that I picked up off the floor of the garden center? 422 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:29,935 - Yes. 423 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,614 - They're beautiful trash flowers. 424 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,952 - Look, I'm sorry, okay? 425 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,945 I have been having a long day. 426 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,678 Ten years of long days, actually. 427 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:50,793 You know, I stock these glow stars 428 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,830 every single year for the back-to-school sale. 429 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,496 And then I take them down, 430 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,965 and I put up the Halloween inventory, 431 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,695 and then Thanksgiving and Christmas 432 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,399 and Valentine's Day and Easter 433 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,972 and Fourth of July, 434 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,471 and then back-to-school again. 435 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:07,773 Hmm. 436 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,684 - That sounds incredibly not fun. 437 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,847 I see why you love it here. 438 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,515 - It's a good job. 439 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:18,185 But tomorrow is gonna be just like today, 440 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,315 and I know that 441 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,119 because today is just like yesterday. 442 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:25,592 So...sometimes... 443 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,462 it's just kind of hard to find those moments of beauty. 444 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,111 - Attention, shoppers. 445 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,050 Even a big box store has to close, 446 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,605 and it's about that time. 447 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,553 You know, when Pandora closed her famous box, 448 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:53,289 there was only one thing left inside: hope. 449 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,756 I wonder what will be left inside of this box. 450 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,826 Could it be grace? 451 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:00,856 I hope not. 452 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,060 If you're Grace's parents, 453 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:05,032 please pick her up at customer service. 454 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,602 - I took the initiative upon myself 455 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,039 to reorganize the toy section 456 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,535 for the convenience of adult shoppers. 457 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,066 It was just feeling overly whimsical. 458 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,071 - I want to show you something I've been working on. 459 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,773 - Oh. You were working. Where? 460 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,614 Because I've been in every single department, 461 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,179 and I haven't seen you in a couple hours, 462 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,048 unless you were in, like, the break room maybe. 463 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:23,117 - Everybody get down on the ground, now! 464 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,116 [woman screams] 465 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,917 Get down, get down, get down! 466 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,518 Touch the ground! 467 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,320 Or get out! 468 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,162 All right, calm down. 469 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,958 Do what I say, and nobody gets hurt. 470 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,389 - This is what I trained for. 471 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,534 - Now, I'm gonna start killing somebody every minute, 472 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,729 unless... 473 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,071 unless you agree to marry me, Cheyenne. 474 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,068 Hit it! 475 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,069 - Hey, what the [bleep]? 476 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,900 Oh! 477 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,914 [dramatic pop music playing] 478 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:52,807 479 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:59,722 - I'll say, "Will you marry me?" 480 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,089 - I had nothing to do with this. 481 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:04,319 - Yeah, I know. 482 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,494 This is the fault of YouTube. 483 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:11,733 484 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,701 - Heard you want to walk down the aisle 485 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,930 You're baby needs a daddy 486 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,304 We've been bangin' for a while 487 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:18,243 All right, I pay the consequences of my actions 488 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,338 Don't try to change me 489 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,639 'Cause I'm a man of actions 490 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,640 Yo! 491 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,311 - What a show. 492 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,210 - I'm calling to report a code green in progress. 493 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,212 I repeat, code green. 494 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,353 - What's a code green? 495 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,877 - I faxed you a list of codes last month! 496 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,151 Hostage situation! 497 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,850 You need to get SWAT down here right now! 498 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,651 - When all these people gonna learn 499 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,163 We're gonna get burned 500 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,855 Just waiting for our turn 501 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,856 Yo, BlackLivesMatter, y'all. 502 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,228 [makes gunshot noise] 503 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,957 Okay, if you like what you heard and saw, 504 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:44,631 I'm currently seeking representation in all areas. 505 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,001 Also, I do modeling, 506 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,528 so I'm just throwing that out there. 507 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,704 All right, peace out, St. Louis. 508 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:50,902 M-m-murr! 509 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,813 - Bo. - What? 510 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,805 Oh, my bad, yo. 511 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:55,837 [clears throat] 512 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,980 Cheyenne Tyler Lee, 513 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,049 will you marry me? 514 00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:04,878 Or are you gonna be, like, a dick about it? 515 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,894 - Oh, I think he's about to shoot a hostage. 516 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,656 - I'll do what I can. - Don't do anything. 517 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,429 [gentle music] 518 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,758 - What is this? 519 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:25,814 520 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,453 - Moment of beauty? 521 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,458 - To Cheyenne. 522 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,657 all: Cheers! 523 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,988 - May your marriage be as sweet and colorful 524 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,804 as this Cloud 9 brand caffeinated malt beverage, 525 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,327 without the recall for killing college students. 526 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,573 - Thank you, on behalf of myself and Bo. 527 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,799 [indistinct radio chatter] 528 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,844 - Well, he did make it memorable. 529 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,269 I'll give him that. 530 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,014 - I mean, most guys don't even bother 531 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,839 threatening to kill you when they propose. 532 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,554 - You were never in any real danger. 533 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:07,676 You know that, right? 534 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,020 - Yeah, I know. It was a fake robbery. 535 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,516 - This is a high-velocity 440-grain lead 536 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,289 flat-nose projectile with gas checks 537 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,617 and a boxer-primed brass jacket. 538 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,963 If he'd come within 10 feet of you, 539 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,127 you would have seen his head explode like a watermelon. 540 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,356 [mimics explosion] 541 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,101 Cleanup on aisle-- 542 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,425 I don't even know what aisle it is, 543 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,331 'cause his brains would be splattered 544 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,373 all over the sign. 545 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,237 [laughing] 546 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,667 Oh, shoot. 547 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,541 - You know, I wish that we could wear jewelry at work. 548 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,741 - Oh, it's so... 549 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,453 sparkly. 550 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,275 - You know, I thought about what you said 551 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,250 about not doing something that I might regret, 552 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:48,260 but then, in the moment, you know, under the stars, 553 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,955 it just felt right. 554 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,986 Without you, I would have never said yes, 555 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,091 so thank you. 556 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,432 - Oh. 557 00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,026 - Well, I should go bail out my boyfriend now. 558 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,442 Or I mean bail out my fiancé! 559 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,736 - Aw. 560 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,707 - All right. I got to get going. 561 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,766 Good night, everyone. 562 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,784 - Good night. 563 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,176 - Hey, wait up. 564 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,478 Wait up. 565 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,920 Hey, I didn't mean to-- 566 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:19,115 That, in there... 567 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,518 I just wanted today 568 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,920 to feel different than yesterday. 569 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,792 - Well, then you completely failed, 570 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:28,161 because that exact same thing happened yesterday. 571 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,400 - [laughs] 572 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,427 - But...thank you. 573 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,503 Okay. 574 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,744 I really do have to get going. 575 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,269 See you at work tomorrow, Jonah? 576 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,614 - You certainly will...champ. 577 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,481 - [laughs] 578 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,450 Amy. 579 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,849 - Nice to meet you, Amy. 580 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,060 - Yo, you should come with us, man. 581 00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:02,329 We're gonna throw some mannequin limbs in the dumpster 582 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,059 and watch garbage men freak out. 583 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,233 - That sounds awesome. 584 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,232 - It is awesome. 585 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,574 Come on. 586 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:12,569 [uplifting music] 587 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:20,612