1 00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,592 How are you, Chuck? 2 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:42,760 Hello, Gorgeous. Oh, say, your daughter's looking for you. 3 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,497 Oh, thanks. I'll take the next bus. 4 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,696 Okay, Gorgeous. 5 00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:53,239 Oh, hello, Mother. Who're you doubling today? 6 00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,974 Lydia Flickham in an aerial act. 7 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,140 Be careful. 8 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:57,808 Say, I thought you were supposed to be rehearsing. 9 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,613 I haven't even started yet. 10 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,450 Well, you knock them over in that rehearsal and I'll let you support me. 11 00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:05,491 Uncle Bill said if he sells the script, you won't have to work anymore. 12 00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:09,790 Oh, your Uncle Bill is too good. We owe him too much already. 13 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,854 Look what I found this morning. 14 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,999 Close your eyes. 15 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,159 Wish. 16 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:20,729 (GLASS SHATTERING) 17 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,952 Was that a buptkie! 18 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:40,455 You're about to fall heir to a kitters stocking. 19 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,552 What's a kitters stocking? 20 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,494 A sock on the puss. 21 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,498 Another buptkie. 22 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,999 MAN: Raspberries! 23 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,625 (HORN HONKING) 24 00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:52,262 Raspberries! 25 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,940 Raspberries! 26 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,900 Raspberries! 27 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,207 Raspberries! 28 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:06,985 (EXCLAIMS) 29 00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:09,613 Hiya, tootie pie. Everything under control? 30 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,486 Who are you talking to? 31 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,127 All five of them hit me at once. 32 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,096 Hi. 33 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,816 It's a lucky thing I recognized you. 34 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,513 I thought it was that guy coming back again. 35 00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,689 I was about to clout your brains out. 36 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:48,124 How about a part in this new picture you're going to do? 37 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,594 Go away or I'll kill you. 38 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,997 You're all right. You're all set. 39 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,693 Thank you, Mr. Fields. 40 00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:56,826 How would you like to hide the egg 41 00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:01,465 and gurgitate a few saucers of mocha java? 42 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,509 No, thanks. I've just had breakfast. 43 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:08,377 Oh, you have, eh? Well, call me up at sometime at the house. 44 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,710 What time? 45 00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,443 Oh, a couple o'clock. 46 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,091 (WHISTLING) 47 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,923 Good morning, beautiful. 48 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,791 What do you hear from Garcia? 49 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,135 A ringer! 50 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:34,835 Got a menu? 51 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,143 Thank you. Thank you. 52 00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:50,920 Is there any goulash on this menu? 53 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,525 That's roast beef gravy. Oh, it's roast beef gravy. 54 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,691 Is that steak New York cut? 55 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,266 What about... 56 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:29,894 No extra charge for the cold shower, I hope. 57 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,964 Do you think it's too hot for pork chops? 58 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,129 (SIGHS) 59 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:46,738 That practically eliminates everything but ham and eggs. 60 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,381 Forgot about that. 61 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,683 No ham? 62 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,687 Two fomented eggs in a glass. 63 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,194 Cup. 64 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:05,428 Yes. Cup. 65 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,363 And some whole wheat... 66 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,661 White. 67 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,601 Some white bread, yes. 68 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:14,940 And a... Get away from there. 69 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:19,004 And a cup of mocha java with cream. 70 00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:20,409 Milk. 71 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,710 Milk. Yes, that's fine. 72 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,545 Two in the water! Easy! 73 00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:27,245 I don't know why I ever come in here. 74 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:29,777 Flies get the best of everything. 75 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,023 Go away. Go away. Get away. Go on. 76 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,854 (SINGING IN SPANISH) 77 00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:02,739 Oh, yes, Mr. Pangborn. Yes, we just made it. 78 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,910 Yes, I'll have Gloria Jean ready whenever you say. 79 00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,139 All right. Thank you, Mr. Pangborn. 80 00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:14,247 And another thing, you're always squawking about something. 81 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,185 If it isn't the steak, it's something else. 82 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,689 I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. 83 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,192 I merely said I didn't see that old horse 84 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,751 that used to be tethered outside here. 85 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,230 You're as funny as a cry for help. 86 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:32,203 You also pulled that old gag about breaking your fork in the gravy. 87 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,503 I didn't say anything about breaking the fork in the gravy. 88 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,603 Usert you be an old Folies girl? 89 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,947 You know, there's something awfully big about you. 90 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,817 Thank you, dear. Thank you, dear. 91 00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:48,911 Your nose. 92 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:55,022 Something awfully big about you, too. 93 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:58,757 Hiya, Tiny. 94 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,162 Hiya, Joe. 95 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,325 Give me a cup of jamo. 96 00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,563 Probably means mocha java. 97 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:11,176 What's the amount of the insult? 98 00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:12,437 That'll be 35 cents. 99 00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,536 Thirty-five cents. Thank you. 100 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,908 Have you any imported cigars? 101 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,645 Stingaroos. Four for a nickel. 102 00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,586 Oh, that's fine as long as they're imported. 103 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:29,084 You know, if anybody ever comes in here and gives you a $10 tip, 104 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,828 scrutinize it carefully 105 00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:35,366 because there's a lot of counterfeit money going around. 106 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,767 I'll give you the dough. Don't... Here. There. 107 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:42,934 If I get any counterfeit nickels or pennies, I'll know where they came from. 108 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,401 You're so clever. 109 00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:47,506 Who told you I was clever? 110 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,445 All your friends at the studio told me. 111 00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:52,916 Oh, drat! I told them not to tell you. 112 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:56,443 And another thing. Don't be so free with your hands. 113 00:10:56,522 --> 00:11:01,186 Listen, honey, I was only trying to guess your weight. 114 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,863 You take things too seriously. 115 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,563 Baloney, mahoney, malarkey, you big kabloona! 116 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:13,162 Kabloona? I haven't been called that for two days. 117 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,732 I suffered from high blood pressure for years. 118 00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,538 Then I lost my dough and I had to give it up. 119 00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,443 Very comical. 120 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,650 Look at that hat. It's nice. That's fine. 121 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,207 Arert you a little confused? 122 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,674 Uh... 123 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,408 In which way? 124 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,536 Your hat. 125 00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:56,775 (EXCLAIMS) 126 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,880 Thanks 1,000 times, yes. 127 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:01,980 Mistook it. 128 00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,414 Thank you. 129 00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:12,563 Excuse me, blimpie pie. 130 00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:25,333 I forgot to take the cellophane off. 131 00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,539 Very fortunate it didn't burn my hat. 132 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,093 MAN: One, two, three, four, five... 133 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,127 One, two... 134 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,803 GLORIA SINGING.: With a hot cha cha and a boop boop de doop 135 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,500 And a scaddily, daddily, dinky dee 136 00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,605 You can dig, dig, dug while you cut a rug 137 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,043 When you waddily, daddily, doodle with me 138 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,048 With a hot cha cha and a boop boop de doop 139 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,550 And a scaddily, daddily, dinky dee 140 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,315 You can dig, dig, dug while you cut a rug 141 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,412 When you waddily, daddily, doodle with me 142 00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,658 With a hot cha cha and a boop boop de doop 143 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,955 And a scaddily, daddily, dinky dee 144 00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:19,793 You can dig, dig, dug while you cut a rug 145 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:22,356 When you waddily, daddily, doodle with me 146 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,906 Johnson! 147 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,301 Johnson! 148 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,647 Johnson! 149 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,384 Quiet! 150 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,715 All right, Gloria Jean, we'll rehearse the number. 151 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,488 You know, we have to get this set finished by morning. 152 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,359 Well, what am I supposed to do about it? 153 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:52,795 Let my men continue working. 154 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,332 They only have to stop while we rehearse. 155 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,130 Now, I'll give you one whistle for quiet and two whistles to resume work. 156 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,864 Is that okay, Mr. Pangborn? 157 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,132 Well... 158 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,435 Quiet! 159 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,012 (SHOUTS) This... 160 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:21,191 This is not the song that you are to sing. 161 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,922 This is the song Uncle Bill told me to sing. 162 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:25,821 Uncle who? 163 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:26,956 Mr. Fields. 164 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,627 Swish swash. 165 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,426 This is the number that you are to sing. 166 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:33,927 All right... 167 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,403 Quiet! 168 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,875 Quiet! 169 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,447 Johnson. 170 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,018 Why do I have to work on a stage as busy as this 171 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,690 with 48 stages in this studio? 172 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,562 I'm sorry, Mr. Pangborn, but they're all busy. 173 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,658 Busy? 174 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,669 I don't like this song. 175 00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,861 Neither do I, Gloria. 176 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,335 Come on, we might as well let him have it. 177 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:11,904 (PLAYING PIANO) 178 00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:22,950 I hear a song so gay 179 00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:29,422 I hear it all the day 180 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,465 I hear it bring 181 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,370 A message of spring 182 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,772 Birds and flowers 183 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,504 Leafy bowers 184 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:50,013 Greet the sun on high 185 00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,743 Night and day 186 00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,444 Breezes play 187 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,508 Gently 188 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:00,324 Stop! 189 00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:02,259 (MEN SHOUTING) 190 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,156 Quiet! 191 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:18,209 No, no, no, Gloria Jean. I want more life. 192 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,254 (PIANO PLAYING) 193 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,195 Gaily through the swaying trees 194 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,758 Darting sunbeams light the forest 195 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,364 While the zephyrs kiss the murmuring leaves 196 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,305 Sweetly fragrant 197 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:57,179 With the breath of spring 198 00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:08,824 High in the sky above 199 00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,623 Birds are winging 200 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,459 Loudly singing 201 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:14,327 No! No! 202 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,630 How many times do I have to tell you? 203 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,296 Is a welcome again to spring 204 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:20,360 MAN: One, two, three, four. 205 00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:24,572 One, two, three, four. 206 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,069 One, two, three, four. 207 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,545 To spring 208 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:44,327 Love fills the air 209 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,899 Love's everywhere 210 00:17:57,509 --> 00:18:01,309 Every lover is sighing 211 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:06,317 Of love undying 212 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,219 No, no, no, Gloria Jean. Not like that. 213 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,254 Like this. 214 00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,458 (SINGING OPERATICALLY) 215 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,126 Lunch! One hour! 216 00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:35,909 Now, Gloria Jean, you've got to do this number all the way through. 217 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,604 One. 218 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,173 (PLAYING PIANO) 219 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,846 Sing then about 220 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:16,149 Joyous springtime 221 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,971 (DISCHORDANT NOTE PLAYS) 222 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,666 Timber! 223 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,272 Stop it! 224 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,874 Stop it! 225 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,809 Hello, Uncle Bill. 226 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:22,679 Where are you going? 227 00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:26,212 I'm going to the studio to read my script. 228 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,656 Don't you think I'd better go in with you? 229 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,126 Oh, no, dear. I'll be all right. 230 00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:31,423 Don't let them chisel you. 231 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,191 I won't, dear. 232 00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:36,393 You ought to be in there rehearsing with Buddy and Butch. 233 00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:37,935 I can't find them. 234 00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,664 Well, go in there and look for them. 235 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,740 Godfrey Daniel! 236 00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:51,414 Hold your temper. Count 10. 237 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,185 Now, let her go. You got a good aim. 238 00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:05,187 A beauty. 239 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,892 She'll get us! Come on! She'll get us! 240 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,002 Good morning. 241 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,702 I have an engagement for a story conference. 242 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,404 You big hoddy-doddy. 243 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:24,506 You smoke vile cigars all day and drink whiskey half the night. 244 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,448 Some day you'll drown in a vat of whiskey. 245 00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:34,288 Drown in a vat of whiskey? "Death, where is thy sting?" 246 00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:36,587 Goodbye. 247 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:40,263 Thank you. Shortest interview on record. 248 00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:42,800 I beg your pardon. What did you say? 249 00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:45,998 I have an engagement to read my script. 250 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,095 What was the name? 251 00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:49,197 W. C. Bill Fields. 252 00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:51,765 Glad to know you, Mr. Fields. Glad to know you. 253 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:53,242 Step right into my office. 254 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,246 Yes, I will, too. 255 00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:57,738 Oh, I'm sorry. 256 00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,216 Well, that's... Well... Excuse me. 257 00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:07,448 Well, watch your step here. 258 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:14,060 Oh, drat! Oh, drat! 259 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,199 You're all right, Fields? 260 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:22,766 Oh! 261 00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:25,142 Hello, dear. 262 00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:27,001 Pardon me, Mr. Fields. 263 00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:30,571 But my wife is not going to be dragged in and out of your picture 264 00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:32,173 by the hair of her head. 265 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,808 Of course, this is only a rough draft. 266 00:22:33,885 --> 00:22:36,547 You've got to bear with me a half a tick. 267 00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:40,079 And you'll have to take that crab net off, dear. 268 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:43,790 Here's one of the scenes. Do you mind being seated? 269 00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:45,920 Oh, oh, no. My dear. 270 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:50,493 "You pass the pool hall. 271 00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:52,730 "They're playing for the championship of the world 272 00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:55,136 "including the $2 side bet. 273 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:59,735 "You are riding in a jeep on a sidewalk with a sailor. 274 00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:01,710 "The scene intrigues you. 275 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:08,876 "You hop off while it is going. In the circus scene, you wear a beard." 276 00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:11,618 I wear a beard? 277 00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:14,354 Yeah, a small beard, a Vandyke. 278 00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:16,986 Just little... You know what a Vandyke is, don't you? 279 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,655 I certainly do. 280 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,497 Oh. 281 00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:24,365 You enter the pool hall. 282 00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:29,534 "The contender for the championship just ripped the cloth, 283 00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:31,838 "which causes the ball..." 284 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:33,400 Good morning, Mr. Pangborn. 285 00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:34,877 Good morning, Mrs. Pastromi. 286 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,944 Take that Groucho Marx out of here, please. 287 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:44,011 "...which causes the ball to leap off the table." 288 00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,182 Just a moment, please. 289 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,491 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 290 00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:53,656 Hello? Oh, it's the other phone. 291 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:58,999 Hello? Yes. Yes, she's here. It's for you, Mrs. Pastromi. 292 00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:03,234 "Strong men faint. Some feint with their rights 293 00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:06,072 "and some feint with their lefts." Hello? Yes. 294 00:24:06,144 --> 00:24:07,668 I can't hear you. You'll have to talk louder. 295 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:08,906 "He faints." 296 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:11,244 I'm talking as loud as I can. Yeah. 297 00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:13,944 Don't we always have spaghetti for dinner? Yeah. 298 00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:16,510 All right, we'll have raviolis. "And you rush over..." 299 00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:18,453 Of course, I'll be home. What time is it? 300 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:20,616 "...and put his head in your lap." 301 00:24:20,692 --> 00:24:22,592 I can't hear you. Goodbye. 302 00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,151 Well, goodbye. 303 00:24:24,729 --> 00:24:26,788 Thank you, Mrs. Pastromi. 304 00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:28,093 You're welcome. 305 00:24:29,334 --> 00:24:32,963 Then you go off to the local barber shop and get shaved 306 00:24:33,038 --> 00:24:37,532 and play the rest of the scene and the picture 307 00:24:37,609 --> 00:24:40,271 with an absolutely clean face. 308 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:48,215 Oh, well, all right. We can cut that out. 309 00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:50,413 If you don't mind, Mr. Fields, I'll read it myself. 310 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:54,550 I get a better feel, capture the mood and the tempo better that way, you see. 311 00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:56,287 It's in English, isn't it? 312 00:24:57,629 --> 00:25:01,429 "A long shot of streamlined plane with open-air, rear observation..." 313 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,760 "With open-air, rear observation compartment. 314 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:07,828 "In the plane is the handsome hero, Bill Fields 315 00:25:09,608 --> 00:25:12,133 "and his little niece, Gloria Jean, 316 00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:14,110 "who are winging their way toward the Russian village 317 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,579 "in the strange and distant land of..." 318 00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:18,473 Are you happy? 319 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:20,142 You bet I am, Uncle. 320 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,220 Must be a Shriners' convention in town. 321 00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:32,188 Or maybe he's a cigarette salesman. 322 00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:35,423 I beg your pardon. 323 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:37,297 That's quite all right. 324 00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,800 It doesn't matter. 325 00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:45,402 I hope he hasn't brought his polo ponies on board with him. 326 00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:48,207 They'll be pawing all night and keep us awake. 327 00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:56,382 Good night, Uncle. Good night, dear. 328 00:25:56,454 --> 00:26:00,083 Now don't you worry. I'll be right over here in the upper berth next to you. 329 00:26:00,158 --> 00:26:01,386 All right. 330 00:26:04,262 --> 00:26:05,889 What's the matter, did you sprain your ankle? 331 00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:07,829 No, no, no, a dog bit me. 332 00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:11,892 Yeah, I was playing croquet and I dropped my mallet. 333 00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:15,838 And a little dachshund ran straight out 334 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:18,967 and grabbed me by the fetlock. 335 00:26:20,478 --> 00:26:23,879 Rather fortunate it wasrt a Newfoundland dog that bit you. 336 00:26:23,949 --> 00:26:26,349 Yes, rather. I suppose so. 337 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:29,683 I'm sleeping here somewhere, but I don't quite know where. 338 00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:34,054 Well, there's no other place to sleep if you don't sleep in the plane here. 339 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:35,615 That's right. 340 00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:38,390 No hotels around anywhere. 341 00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:45,926 Here you are, Mr. Fields. 342 00:26:46,004 --> 00:26:47,596 Well, thank you. 343 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:50,704 Where are you supposed to sleep, in that little hammock up there? 344 00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:51,833 Yes, sir. 345 00:26:52,577 --> 00:26:53,839 Good night, Uncle Bill. 346 00:26:53,912 --> 00:26:55,106 Good night, dear. 347 00:26:55,213 --> 00:26:58,011 I'll be right across the way, dear. 348 00:26:58,083 --> 00:27:01,951 I'll be up here all alone, except that fly. Get out of there. 349 00:27:11,096 --> 00:27:13,690 Get the other leg, please. Thanks. 350 00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:16,632 I use both of them, usually. 351 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:21,830 There's some answers in my cap again. 352 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,020 Time to get up, sir. We're landing shortly. 353 00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:41,185 (GROANS) 354 00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:42,453 (GROANS) 355 00:27:42,527 --> 00:27:44,085 Are you airsick? 356 00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:46,255 No, dear. 357 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:49,596 Somebody put too many olives in my martinis, last night. 358 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:51,260 Shall I get you a Bromo? 359 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:53,361 No, I couldn't stand the noise. 360 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:56,329 Time to get up, little lady. 361 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:57,739 FIELDS: Get up, dear. 362 00:27:57,809 --> 00:27:58,833 Okay. 363 00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,710 We're landing in a few minutes... Half hour. 364 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:04,647 Two or three... What time did she say we were landing? 365 00:28:05,984 --> 00:28:08,748 Maybe we're not going to land. Go back to sleep again. 366 00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:13,052 Chickens, they lay eggs in Kansas 367 00:28:13,124 --> 00:28:17,356 Chickens, they lay eggs in Kansas 368 00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:21,695 Chickens lay eggs as big as nutmegs 369 00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:25,634 The chickens lay eggs in Kansas 370 00:28:26,838 --> 00:28:31,172 Chickens have pretty legs in Kansas 371 00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:35,474 Chickens have pretty legs in Kansas 372 00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:38,512 That is really not a joke 373 00:28:38,583 --> 00:28:41,279 One rolled me for my poke 374 00:28:42,087 --> 00:28:45,022 Chickens have pretty legs in Kansas 375 00:28:49,527 --> 00:28:53,930 Yeah, those clouds look just as fleecy as... 376 00:28:54,632 --> 00:28:56,031 Clouds. 377 00:28:57,368 --> 00:29:02,362 There's enough material there for a Ringling Brother's big top. 378 00:29:03,174 --> 00:29:04,835 Maybe a smuggler. 379 00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:07,571 You a big nose have it. 380 00:29:07,645 --> 00:29:09,579 Oh, that's a surprise to me. 381 00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:12,741 I say, I should take that as a personal insult. 382 00:29:12,817 --> 00:29:14,148 Yeah, I should, too. 383 00:29:14,219 --> 00:29:16,551 I you hate, too. 384 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,822 He hates you, too. 385 00:29:24,329 --> 00:29:27,093 Here, here, I say. Half a tick, old man, half a tick. 386 00:29:28,666 --> 00:29:30,190 (GROANS) 387 00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:34,404 Steady on, old man, steady on. 388 00:29:36,674 --> 00:29:39,006 I have a big nose, have I, eh? 389 00:29:39,077 --> 00:29:42,342 You me on the head hitted. 390 00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:46,844 Say, boys, let me out of this thing. I'm neutral. Go ahead. 391 00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:53,280 (CRASHING) 392 00:29:56,294 --> 00:30:00,560 Forgot my soap, forgot my razor, I forgot everything. 393 00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,324 Pardon me. 394 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,134 No wonder they call this a giant airliner. 395 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:17,107 Do you travel as one person, or did you get a party rate of 10? 396 00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:21,514 Okay, don't answer. 397 00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:29,450 Here. Oh, here you are. Here. 398 00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:33,191 Thank you. You're welcome. 399 00:30:33,264 --> 00:30:35,255 I didn't sleep well last night. 400 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:37,699 You didn't? I'm troubled with insomnia. 401 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:39,669 Oh, insomnia. 402 00:30:39,737 --> 00:30:41,967 Well, I know a good cure for it. Yeah? 403 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,234 Get plenty of sleep. 404 00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:44,570 Sleep, huh? 405 00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:46,473 That's what the doctor told me. 406 00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:48,736 Toothbrush. 407 00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:56,386 At least you're not on the plane in the morning when I get off. 408 00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:58,147 Excuse me. 409 00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:02,652 Always brush them down like that. Brush them down. 410 00:31:02,727 --> 00:31:04,319 Never across like that. No, no, no, no. 411 00:31:04,395 --> 00:31:07,558 That's what it says in the latest etiquette book. Yeah. 412 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,329 Oh, I got more cleaner. I need more. 413 00:31:29,787 --> 00:31:32,517 Must have just gone through a cloud. 414 00:31:38,162 --> 00:31:39,789 That's a hot one. 415 00:31:39,864 --> 00:31:42,594 You were shaving me and I'm shaving you. 416 00:31:48,139 --> 00:31:49,231 Are you ready, dear? 417 00:31:49,307 --> 00:31:50,399 Be ready in a jiffy. 418 00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:53,476 A jiffy? Oh, okay. 419 00:31:53,544 --> 00:31:55,910 Well, I'll meet you on the back platform, dear. 420 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:56,969 All right. 421 00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:58,106 Okay, dear. 422 00:31:59,717 --> 00:32:00,911 Hello, there. 423 00:32:00,985 --> 00:32:02,145 Oh, miss. 424 00:32:14,499 --> 00:32:17,024 What inclement weather. 425 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:20,962 (WHISTLING) 426 00:32:28,112 --> 00:32:29,340 What are you drinking, Uncle Bill? 427 00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:32,611 Oh, just a little ginger ale, dear. Pull up a chair there. 428 00:32:36,821 --> 00:32:41,053 You know, Uncle Bill, I've been thinking. Why didn't you ever marry? 429 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:44,390 I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. 430 00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:48,660 She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. 431 00:32:50,435 --> 00:32:52,460 Go and pack your little portmanteau, will you, dear? 432 00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:53,902 All right. 433 00:33:04,949 --> 00:33:05,938 Uncle Bill! 434 00:33:11,255 --> 00:33:12,313 Uncle Bill! 435 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:37,644 (SCREAMS) 436 00:33:58,569 --> 00:34:00,594 Oh, boy. 437 00:34:00,738 --> 00:34:05,175 Why didn't I think of that parachute? Well, there she goes. 438 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:10,014 What a bump. And how fortunate... 439 00:34:10,948 --> 00:34:12,142 How do you do? 440 00:34:12,583 --> 00:34:14,244 Do you live here? 441 00:34:14,318 --> 00:34:15,546 What are you? 442 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:17,110 I'm an American citizen. 443 00:34:17,855 --> 00:34:19,345 An American eagle? 444 00:34:19,424 --> 00:34:23,019 No, it's the first time I've ever been up in a plane in my life. 445 00:34:23,094 --> 00:34:25,688 I'm just a man. 446 00:34:25,763 --> 00:34:27,390 Man? 447 00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:29,660 I never heard that word before. 448 00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:30,894 You didn't? 449 00:34:30,968 --> 00:34:32,333 Are you really a man? 450 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,428 Well, I've been called other things. 451 00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:38,441 I've never seen one before in all my life. 452 00:34:38,509 --> 00:34:41,034 You never have, eh? 453 00:34:41,879 --> 00:34:45,315 Mother brought me to the nest here when I was only three months old. 454 00:34:45,383 --> 00:34:48,750 Oh, she did, eh? And you've never seen a man? 455 00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:52,818 Do you ever play the game of squidgilum? 456 00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:56,986 No. The only game I've ever played is bean bag. 457 00:34:57,061 --> 00:35:01,498 Bean bag? Oh, it's very good. Becomes very exciting at times. 458 00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:05,764 I saw the championship played in Paris. Many people were killed. 459 00:35:07,438 --> 00:35:09,269 Pull up a chair. 460 00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:15,975 Get a little closer here. You're too far away. 461 00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:19,380 Wait a minute. Maybe I'm the one. 462 00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:24,678 Now, you put your hands on your head that way. 463 00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:30,851 That's it. Now, close your eyes and pucker your lips a bit. 464 00:35:58,556 --> 00:35:59,989 Shall we play another rubber? 465 00:36:01,726 --> 00:36:03,091 Why, Mother. 466 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,150 (DOG GROWLING) 467 00:36:09,534 --> 00:36:11,468 Romulus and Remus. 468 00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,303 What are you doing here? 469 00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:14,929 Mother, this is a man. 470 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:18,373 He fell out of an airplane and brought a wonderful new game to us. 471 00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:20,034 It's called squidgilum. 472 00:36:20,111 --> 00:36:22,102 You pull two chairs together. 473 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,648 Place your hands on your head in this fashion. 474 00:36:24,715 --> 00:36:28,116 Then you close your eyes, and then you both press your lips together. 475 00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:31,946 I'll try it with him. 476 00:36:32,823 --> 00:36:34,552 Mother knows best. 477 00:36:36,928 --> 00:36:38,520 Close your eyes, Mother. 478 00:37:03,588 --> 00:37:05,783 Men, men, they're all alike. 479 00:37:05,856 --> 00:37:08,017 They'll deceive you as your father did me. 480 00:37:08,092 --> 00:37:10,925 He kissed a chorus girl and when I found it out, he said, 481 00:37:10,995 --> 00:37:14,726 "Oh, I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing." 482 00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:17,931 Do you think he drinks? 483 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:21,199 He didn't get that nose from playing Ping-Pong. 484 00:37:26,978 --> 00:37:29,606 What a catastrophe. 485 00:37:31,282 --> 00:37:34,581 Just a minute, Mr. Fields. There is a limit to everything. 486 00:37:34,652 --> 00:37:37,815 This script is an insult to a mars intelligence, even mine. 487 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,948 You drop from a plane, 10,000 feet in the air, 488 00:37:41,025 --> 00:37:43,459 and you land on a divan without a scratch. 489 00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:45,085 You play post office with a beautiful blonde, 490 00:37:45,162 --> 00:37:47,630 and then you throw yourself over a cliff in a basket. 491 00:37:47,698 --> 00:37:50,758 It's impossible, inconceivable, incomprehensible. 492 00:37:50,835 --> 00:37:53,497 And besides that, it's no good. 493 00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,899 And as for the continuity, it's terrible. 494 00:37:57,975 --> 00:38:02,503 And for my own information, off the record, what's happened to Gloria Jean? 495 00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:05,242 Where has she been all this time? 496 00:38:05,316 --> 00:38:08,513 Oh. Oh, I see. Here, she is. 497 00:38:08,586 --> 00:38:12,352 "Poor little Gloria almost in tears, waiting at the airport, 498 00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:15,084 "not knowing which way to turn, when suddenly..." 499 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:16,786 Telephone, honey. 500 00:38:20,798 --> 00:38:23,733 Hello? Uncle Bill! 501 00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:27,030 Where are you? What? 502 00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:30,306 Yes. Yes, I'll be right over. 503 00:38:32,209 --> 00:38:34,177 How do you get to the Russian village? 504 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:36,076 I'll take care of it. 505 00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,543 I fell out of an airplane 506 00:38:43,621 --> 00:38:47,022 whilst trying to retrieve a bottle of golden nectar 507 00:38:47,892 --> 00:38:51,089 and landed on the pinnacle of yonder rock, 508 00:38:51,362 --> 00:38:56,322 where is domiciled a vision of loveliness, if ever there was one, 509 00:38:56,934 --> 00:39:00,529 and her mother, a buzzard, if ever there was one. 510 00:39:00,604 --> 00:39:03,903 If that girl is as beautiful as you say, I'll scale the wall tomorrow. 511 00:39:03,974 --> 00:39:05,271 I've heard about them. 512 00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:08,369 They say the old buzzard's husband walked out on her before the girl was born. 513 00:39:08,446 --> 00:39:11,472 And the buzzard vowed that the daughter would never see or hear the name "man" 514 00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:12,573 as long as she lived. 515 00:39:12,650 --> 00:39:14,777 They also say the old gal has a bank roll so big, 516 00:39:14,852 --> 00:39:16,547 a greyhound couldn't leap over it. 517 00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:17,780 Yeah? 518 00:39:19,724 --> 00:39:24,252 Well, she seems to have a kind heart, too. 519 00:39:25,596 --> 00:39:30,192 Maybe you could induce her to come down and talk turkey 520 00:39:30,267 --> 00:39:34,499 to one that really loves her and has her interest at heart. 521 00:39:35,339 --> 00:39:38,672 She seemed like an awfully nice woman to me, 522 00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:43,703 now that I come to think of it. 523 00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:47,513 (RUSSIANS SINGING) 524 00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:27,648 (SINGING IN RUSSIAN) 525 00:41:17,808 --> 00:41:21,209 Hey, hey, hey. Two goat milks. 526 00:41:23,981 --> 00:41:25,243 Two what? 527 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:26,340 Mmm-hmm. 528 00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:28,044 You will love it. 529 00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:32,088 I'm not so sure about that. 530 00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,647 Well, yes, yes, this is... 531 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,018 This is a great drink. 532 00:41:37,094 --> 00:41:38,925 Havert you any red-eye? 533 00:41:39,063 --> 00:41:40,530 (TOASTING) 534 00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:45,359 (CLEARS THROAT) 535 00:41:45,436 --> 00:41:46,801 It's good. Good. 536 00:41:54,044 --> 00:41:56,877 Well, it hasn't killed you. 537 00:41:56,947 --> 00:41:58,175 Of course not. 538 00:42:30,314 --> 00:42:31,611 Uncle Bill! 539 00:42:31,682 --> 00:42:32,979 Hello, dear. 540 00:42:33,083 --> 00:42:34,744 (SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN) 541 00:42:37,821 --> 00:42:40,813 Dear, I'm so glad you arrived safely. 542 00:42:40,925 --> 00:42:43,985 And this is my little niece, Gloria Jean. 543 00:42:44,061 --> 00:42:45,551 This is Mr., eh... Roberts. 544 00:42:45,629 --> 00:42:47,722 Mr. Roberts. And this is Mr., uh... Carson. 545 00:42:47,798 --> 00:42:49,527 Mr. Carson. Yeah. 546 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:50,931 What are you drinking, Uncle Bill? 547 00:42:51,001 --> 00:42:53,196 I'm drinking goat's milk, dear. 548 00:42:53,270 --> 00:42:54,737 What kind of goat's milk? 549 00:42:54,805 --> 00:42:57,638 A nanny goat's milk. It's very sweet. 550 00:43:43,687 --> 00:43:45,018 (EXCLAIMS) 551 00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,038 (SCREAMS) 552 00:45:19,683 --> 00:45:21,082 Gargo. 553 00:45:21,585 --> 00:45:23,109 (GROWLING) 554 00:45:24,154 --> 00:45:25,587 Gargo! 555 00:45:30,794 --> 00:45:31,988 Gargo. 556 00:45:51,615 --> 00:45:53,446 Hello. 557 00:45:53,517 --> 00:45:54,745 Hello. 558 00:46:16,073 --> 00:46:17,700 Have you ever played squidgilum? 559 00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,640 No, I've never heard of it. 560 00:46:19,710 --> 00:46:21,200 Oh, well, we... 561 00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:24,338 We place our hands on our head thus. 562 00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:26,848 Then we close our eyes. 563 00:46:26,917 --> 00:46:29,215 And then we press our lips together. 564 00:46:40,097 --> 00:46:41,462 Go ahead. 565 00:46:45,736 --> 00:46:46,794 Isn't it fun? 566 00:46:46,870 --> 00:46:48,167 The man that was up here yesterday 567 00:46:48,238 --> 00:46:50,502 said this was a national game where he came from. 568 00:47:11,094 --> 00:47:13,995 You must be a professional. 569 00:47:14,064 --> 00:47:16,589 Did the man who came up here yesterday play this game with you? 570 00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:19,033 Yes, he did. But when mother wanted to play, 571 00:47:19,102 --> 00:47:21,935 something frightened him and he dived over the parapet. 572 00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:23,996 Why, the old reprobate. 573 00:47:32,082 --> 00:47:33,879 Let's play squidgy. 574 00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:47,488 (GROWLS) 575 00:47:47,564 --> 00:47:48,553 (BARKS) 576 00:47:53,303 --> 00:47:55,032 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 577 00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:06,338 If a body meet a body 578 00:48:06,416 --> 00:48:10,375 Comir through the rye 579 00:48:10,454 --> 00:48:15,653 If a body kiss a body 580 00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:19,218 Need a body cry? 581 00:48:19,296 --> 00:48:22,561 Every lassie has her laddie 582 00:48:22,633 --> 00:48:26,797 Nane, they say 583 00:48:26,870 --> 00:48:31,830 Ha'e I 584 00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:34,901 Yet 585 00:48:34,978 --> 00:48:41,941 All the lads they smile on me 586 00:48:42,019 --> 00:48:46,012 When comir through 587 00:48:46,089 --> 00:48:50,355 The rye 588 00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:53,124 (SCATTING) 589 00:48:56,533 --> 00:48:59,093 When the body met the body 590 00:48:59,169 --> 00:49:01,865 The body to the body said 591 00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:04,203 Oh, body, you're somebody 592 00:49:04,274 --> 00:49:07,072 You ought to get ahead 593 00:49:07,144 --> 00:49:09,339 Every lassie has her laddie 594 00:49:09,413 --> 00:49:12,143 But I'll be different I think 595 00:49:12,215 --> 00:49:16,447 I'm gonna find a daddy That dress me up in mink 596 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,148 Then we'll ride, ride, ride 597 00:49:19,222 --> 00:49:21,656 A- comir through the rye, rye, rye 598 00:49:21,725 --> 00:49:22,953 A- comir through the rye 599 00:49:23,026 --> 00:49:24,288 Yes, indeedy, daddy 600 00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:26,829 We'll be comir on 601 00:49:26,897 --> 00:49:32,767 Through the rye 602 00:49:33,503 --> 00:49:35,994 Marvelous, wonderful, amazing. 603 00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:39,065 The girl has been living on a mountain top since she was three months old 604 00:49:39,142 --> 00:49:43,408 and for no reason at all, suddenly blossoms out with jumping jive. 605 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:46,745 Do you actually think I'm a dope? Now, don't you answer that. 606 00:49:47,217 --> 00:49:49,242 Let's get on with it anyway. 607 00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:57,617 Squidge. 608 00:49:57,694 --> 00:50:00,925 Are you sure you've lived here since you were three months old? 609 00:50:02,399 --> 00:50:03,730 Squidge. 610 00:50:09,072 --> 00:50:11,165 Well, who is... Who are you? 611 00:50:11,241 --> 00:50:12,902 Mrs. Hemogloben. 612 00:50:12,976 --> 00:50:15,774 Who? Mrs. Hemogloben. 613 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,541 Give me another transfusion. 614 00:50:19,916 --> 00:50:21,781 Hemo... Homoglo... 615 00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:23,285 Oh, you're not the dame that has all that... 616 00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:24,980 I mean, you're the beautiful lady 617 00:50:25,055 --> 00:50:26,955 that has the house on top of the hill. 618 00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:30,425 Oh, all of my life, I've been craving love of this kind. 619 00:50:30,494 --> 00:50:32,553 (EXCLAIMS) Oh, love. 620 00:50:34,464 --> 00:50:36,864 I don't think you can get that cricket bat in here. 621 00:50:36,933 --> 00:50:38,195 Yeah, sure. 622 00:50:38,435 --> 00:50:40,198 What kind of a bird is that, Uncle Bill? 623 00:50:40,303 --> 00:50:42,999 Oh, it's a philliloo bird, dear. 624 00:50:43,073 --> 00:50:44,267 Flies backwards. 625 00:50:44,341 --> 00:50:45,467 Flies backwards? 626 00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:47,476 Yes, it lives in the desert. 627 00:50:47,544 --> 00:50:50,536 Flies backwards to keep the sand out of its eyes. 628 00:50:56,153 --> 00:50:59,418 I wonder where the contraption is that starts this thing. 629 00:51:02,692 --> 00:51:04,023 Did it hurt you, Uncle? 630 00:51:05,962 --> 00:51:11,059 No, how could a rock dropping from 1,000 feet hurt your head? 631 00:51:21,311 --> 00:51:22,710 Here we go. 632 00:51:25,248 --> 00:51:28,183 You can see all over the country, can't you? 633 00:51:40,630 --> 00:51:42,860 Oh, for a Maxwell parachute. 634 00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:44,400 What's a Maxwell parachute? 635 00:51:44,468 --> 00:51:48,802 Good until the last drop, dear. Here we go again. 636 00:52:11,895 --> 00:52:13,590 Ready, children? 637 00:52:14,564 --> 00:52:16,532 (WEDDING MARCH PLAYING) 638 00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:38,778 Now wait, folks. 639 00:52:38,855 --> 00:52:40,982 My dear Mrs. Hemogloben, 640 00:52:42,959 --> 00:52:45,291 a token of my love and esteem. 641 00:52:48,598 --> 00:52:52,193 What a voracious appetite that little bird had. I... Oh. 642 00:52:52,269 --> 00:52:53,861 Here they are. Thank you. 643 00:52:53,937 --> 00:52:55,029 Thank you. 644 00:52:56,873 --> 00:52:58,704 Fly away. 645 00:52:59,075 --> 00:53:00,440 He'll stay around. May I? 646 00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:01,602 Oh, please do. 647 00:53:01,978 --> 00:53:03,138 Thank you. 648 00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:05,943 Once when I... 649 00:53:07,450 --> 00:53:09,543 Oh, dear. Are you hurt? 650 00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:12,215 I can't tell yet. 651 00:53:12,455 --> 00:53:14,150 Oh, my. Drat! 652 00:53:14,991 --> 00:53:17,687 Pardon me. May I remove the basket? 653 00:53:17,761 --> 00:53:19,956 Yes, please do. Thank you. 654 00:53:32,075 --> 00:53:34,305 Good gracious. Yes. 655 00:53:34,377 --> 00:53:38,143 Oh, my! Oh, I'm so sorry. 656 00:53:38,215 --> 00:53:40,979 It's quite all right, quite all right. 657 00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:42,518 Can you do anything with it? 658 00:53:42,586 --> 00:53:43,848 I think I can do something with it. 659 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,717 I don't know what yet. 660 00:53:45,855 --> 00:53:47,254 (CLICKING TONGUE) 661 00:53:47,824 --> 00:53:48,950 My Uncle Bill. 662 00:53:50,293 --> 00:53:51,920 But I still love him. 663 00:53:52,162 --> 00:53:54,096 My dear Mrs. Hemogloben, 664 00:53:55,131 --> 00:53:58,794 when I first saw you I was so enamored with your beauty... 665 00:53:58,868 --> 00:54:01,200 Oh, Mr. Fields. 666 00:54:01,271 --> 00:54:03,330 ...I ran to the basket, jumped in, 667 00:54:04,140 --> 00:54:07,735 went down to the city and bought myself a wedding outfit. 668 00:54:09,946 --> 00:54:14,781 And now I'm here to lay my heart at your feet. 669 00:54:15,852 --> 00:54:18,013 You are so full of romance. 670 00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:21,216 Every night, every night. What's the matter with this thing? 671 00:54:21,291 --> 00:54:22,918 Sit down on it again, will you? So I can get up. 672 00:54:22,993 --> 00:54:24,085 Let me help you. 673 00:54:24,594 --> 00:54:28,223 Oh, dear, everything seems to be going wrong. 674 00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:29,629 Yes, it does. 675 00:54:29,699 --> 00:54:31,189 Mother! 676 00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:34,829 Mother, Mr. Carson and I are gonna be married and right away, too. 677 00:54:34,904 --> 00:54:37,771 Mr. Fields brought up the owner of the cantina, Mr. Clines. 678 00:54:37,841 --> 00:54:40,332 He's sheriff, magistrate and mayor of the village. 679 00:54:40,410 --> 00:54:42,310 He's going to marry us immediately. 680 00:54:42,612 --> 00:54:46,070 Why not make it a double-header? It's Saturday afternoon, 681 00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:47,810 and I haven't anything to do. 682 00:54:47,884 --> 00:54:50,614 Mr. Fields, this is so sudden. 683 00:54:51,988 --> 00:54:53,387 I'm so happy. 684 00:54:53,456 --> 00:54:54,855 And so am I. 685 00:54:57,427 --> 00:54:58,985 Hello there! 686 00:55:00,230 --> 00:55:02,562 My dream girl! 687 00:55:06,936 --> 00:55:08,267 Leon! 688 00:55:10,206 --> 00:55:13,232 My bon ami! 689 00:55:14,177 --> 00:55:17,112 Have you seen our... My... 690 00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:19,148 Her hanging swimming pool? 691 00:55:19,215 --> 00:55:20,614 Hanging swimming... No. 692 00:55:20,684 --> 00:55:23,915 Say, dear, why don't I show him the hanging swimming pool? 693 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:33,090 Hanging swimming pool? Where is this hanging swimming... 694 00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:35,654 Why, right here. Get up on there and you can see it a little better. 695 00:55:35,732 --> 00:55:39,099 It's gonna be better? Oh, yeah. 696 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,158 Yeah! 697 00:55:42,872 --> 00:55:44,999 Help! Help! Help! 698 00:55:50,747 --> 00:55:52,180 (WATER SPLASHING) 699 00:55:57,454 --> 00:55:59,979 Suffering sciatica. 700 00:56:00,423 --> 00:56:02,891 The last time it was pink elephants. 701 00:56:03,493 --> 00:56:05,017 (EXPLOSION) 702 00:56:07,230 --> 00:56:09,528 Oh, you're back. Yeah. 703 00:56:09,899 --> 00:56:11,662 The poor chap just had a mishap. 704 00:56:11,735 --> 00:56:12,793 Oh, that's too bad. 705 00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:14,234 Slipped over the parapet. 706 00:56:14,304 --> 00:56:15,328 Oh, my! 707 00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:17,935 Shall we proceed with the ceremony? 708 00:56:18,007 --> 00:56:19,770 Just as you say. 709 00:56:19,843 --> 00:56:22,710 Thank you, Mrs. Hemogloben. 710 00:56:22,779 --> 00:56:24,474 May I call you Daisy? 711 00:56:24,547 --> 00:56:26,242 Oh, I wish you would. 712 00:56:26,316 --> 00:56:28,284 Uncle Bill. Yes, dear? 713 00:56:28,351 --> 00:56:29,443 May I see you a minute? 714 00:56:29,519 --> 00:56:31,851 Certainly. Excuse me, Mrs. Hemogloben. 715 00:56:31,921 --> 00:56:33,149 Certainly. 716 00:56:45,568 --> 00:56:49,026 What is it? Uncle Bill, I don't want you to get married. 717 00:56:50,140 --> 00:56:54,770 You listen to me, missy. Don't you want to live in this beautiful nest? 718 00:56:54,911 --> 00:56:57,106 Have a personal maid? No. 719 00:56:57,814 --> 00:57:02,615 Wear diaphanous gowns? And eat regularly? 720 00:57:02,685 --> 00:57:05,119 I just want to be with you. 721 00:57:05,288 --> 00:57:06,585 You'll be with me. 722 00:57:06,656 --> 00:57:08,214 But she'll be with us. 723 00:57:13,296 --> 00:57:15,355 I never thought of that. 724 00:57:29,979 --> 00:57:32,004 We're falling 2,000 feet! 725 00:57:32,081 --> 00:57:33,571 It's all right, dear. 726 00:57:34,083 --> 00:57:39,077 Don't start worrying until we get down to 1,999! 727 00:57:39,522 --> 00:57:42,116 It's the last foot that's dangerous. 728 00:57:45,161 --> 00:57:47,891 That's all! That's enough! That's too much! 729 00:57:48,097 --> 00:57:50,861 Airplanes with sun decks! 730 00:57:50,934 --> 00:57:54,028 Russian villages in the sky! 731 00:57:54,103 --> 00:57:56,663 Gorillas playing post office! 732 00:57:56,739 --> 00:57:59,674 Cows, sheep, goat's milk! 733 00:58:02,178 --> 00:58:05,113 I am going and when I get back you'd better not be here. 734 00:58:05,181 --> 00:58:07,149 I don't care where you go, just go! 735 00:58:07,217 --> 00:58:10,209 Go, go get a drink! Get two drinks! Get a dozen drinks! 736 00:58:17,494 --> 00:58:18,893 Give me a drink. I'm dying. 737 00:58:18,962 --> 00:58:20,259 What'll it be? 738 00:58:20,697 --> 00:58:23,131 Jumbo ice-cream soda. What flavor? 739 00:58:23,199 --> 00:58:27,260 Oh, I don't care. Spinach, horseradish, anything you got there. 740 00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:30,568 I'll give you peach. Oh, thank you. Thank you. 741 00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:37,905 I feel as though somebody stepped on my tongue with muddy feet. 742 00:58:39,649 --> 00:58:44,211 This scene was supposed to be in a saloon, but the censor cut it out. 743 00:58:44,287 --> 00:58:46,152 It'll play just as well. 744 00:58:49,392 --> 00:58:51,724 Oh, come on! Where's my drink? 745 00:58:55,131 --> 00:58:56,758 (FIELDS EXCLAIMS) 746 00:58:57,934 --> 00:59:01,267 It's killers like you that give the West a bad name. 747 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:06,471 Give me a couple of ladyfingers, will you, please? 748 00:59:10,146 --> 00:59:11,704 Thank you. 749 01:00:19,749 --> 01:00:21,046 Ah, that's better. 750 01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:30,491 So long, Tom. I'd rather be in a saloon at that. 751 01:00:47,810 --> 01:00:49,402 Don't you worry about it. 752 01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:51,640 But Uncle Bill said he's going away. 753 01:00:51,714 --> 01:00:55,343 Fine, fine. I mean, now don't worry about your Uncle Bill. 754 01:00:55,418 --> 01:00:58,080 He's lived his life and ruined mine. 755 01:00:58,154 --> 01:00:59,815 Now it's you we've got to think about. 756 01:00:59,889 --> 01:01:02,449 You're young, you've got a great career ahead of you. 757 01:01:02,525 --> 01:01:03,719 You're gonna do big things. 758 01:01:03,793 --> 01:01:05,954 Maybe Uncle Bill can write you another story. 759 01:01:06,029 --> 01:01:09,590 No, no, no, don't say that. I never want to see him again. 760 01:01:09,866 --> 01:01:11,493 He's a numbskull. 761 01:01:11,567 --> 01:01:14,092 Do you know what Uncle would do if he heard you say that? 762 01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:16,434 No. What would your uncle do if he heard me say that? 763 01:01:16,506 --> 01:01:17,598 This. 764 01:01:20,443 --> 01:01:23,640 And if Uncle Bill doesn't work here anymore, I don't either. 765 01:01:27,183 --> 01:01:30,277 But I don't want you to go away without me, Uncle Bill. 766 01:01:30,553 --> 01:01:34,250 But the enterprise on which I'm about to embark on 767 01:01:34,323 --> 01:01:36,985 is fraught with eminent peril, 768 01:01:37,593 --> 01:01:41,324 much too dangerous for a young lady of your tender years. 769 01:01:41,397 --> 01:01:45,959 Another thing, I promised your mother I'd look out for you. 770 01:01:46,035 --> 01:01:47,297 But how can you look out for me 771 01:01:47,370 --> 01:01:48,894 when I'm here and you're way down there? 772 01:01:48,971 --> 01:01:50,598 You want to go to school, don't you? 773 01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:52,106 No. 774 01:01:52,175 --> 01:01:54,666 You want to grow up and be dumb like Zasu Pitts? 775 01:01:54,744 --> 01:01:58,407 She only acts like that in pictures. I like her. 776 01:01:58,481 --> 01:02:00,381 Don't you want to be smart? No. 777 01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:02,179 I want to be like you. 778 01:02:02,985 --> 01:02:05,044 Don't you think I'm smart? Not very. 779 01:02:05,121 --> 01:02:06,986 I don't like teachers, anyhow. 780 01:02:07,457 --> 01:02:10,688 There's no sense in arguing with a woman. You go with me... 781 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:12,318 Yippee! 782 01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:13,555 Look out, dear! 783 01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:23,668 Who do you think you're backing into, you big lummox? 784 01:02:25,041 --> 01:02:28,738 Hello, Officer. Here's $1.25. 785 01:02:28,811 --> 01:02:31,143 Go in there and buy yourself several outfits. 786 01:02:31,214 --> 01:02:32,943 We're liable to be down there a year. 787 01:02:33,015 --> 01:02:34,107 Okay. Thanks, Uncle. 788 01:02:34,183 --> 01:02:35,650 You're welcome, dear. 789 01:02:43,993 --> 01:02:45,585 Hello, Officer. 790 01:02:48,030 --> 01:02:49,861 Am I too near the plug or something? 791 01:02:51,300 --> 01:02:54,235 I can move out in a minute. Move out in a minute... 792 01:02:54,303 --> 01:02:57,602 MAN ON POLICE RADIO.: Calling car number 202. Calling car number 202. 793 01:03:02,512 --> 01:03:04,537 Go immediately to North National Bank. 794 01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:06,946 Get necessary information regarding two crooks 795 01:03:07,016 --> 01:03:09,712 who have just held up the bank for $150,000. 796 01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:12,254 150,000, that is all. 797 01:03:12,321 --> 01:03:15,950 "That is all"? $150,000, that's all? It ain't hay, is it? 798 01:03:16,192 --> 01:03:20,128 Car 202, bank robbery. North National Bank has been held up. 799 01:03:20,196 --> 01:03:22,824 One crook, slight build, evidently a jockey, 800 01:03:22,899 --> 01:03:24,799 has a horse scar behind his left ear. 801 01:03:24,867 --> 01:03:27,768 Must be some ear to get a horse car behind it. 802 01:03:27,837 --> 01:03:29,634 Keep quiet. Please. 803 01:03:29,705 --> 01:03:31,400 Other crook has corn teeth, 804 01:03:31,474 --> 01:03:35,433 cauliflower ear, apple-red cheeks, muttonchop whiskers. 805 01:03:35,511 --> 01:03:39,208 Sounds like a full-course dinner to me. What, no apple pie? 806 01:03:39,282 --> 01:03:41,079 Oh, shut up. 807 01:03:46,923 --> 01:03:49,551 Now it's blue for a boy and pink for a girl, isn't it? 808 01:03:49,625 --> 01:03:50,819 Yes. 809 01:03:50,893 --> 01:03:52,417 Well, I'll take the pink one. 810 01:03:54,964 --> 01:03:56,955 Is that the right time? 811 01:03:57,033 --> 01:03:58,523 Yes, it's western postal time. 812 01:03:58,601 --> 01:04:01,195 I have to get these down to the baby hospital. 813 01:04:01,270 --> 01:04:03,568 I'm leaving for Salt Lake this afternoon. Here. 814 01:04:03,639 --> 01:04:04,901 I'll see you when I get back. 815 01:04:04,974 --> 01:04:06,305 All right, Mrs. Wilson. 816 01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:10,407 Yes, get me a taxi. 817 01:04:12,949 --> 01:04:16,282 I've got to get to the Maternity Hospital, right away. 818 01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:18,445 If I can be of any assistance... 819 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,419 Can you rush this lady to the Maternity Hospital? 820 01:04:20,489 --> 01:04:22,514 Yes, yes, get in the back. 821 01:04:23,025 --> 01:04:25,323 And tell my niece to meet me... 822 01:04:25,394 --> 01:04:27,419 I'll take care of her, sir. 823 01:04:32,101 --> 01:04:33,432 (KNOCKING ON GLASS) 824 01:04:41,377 --> 01:04:43,277 (TIRES SCREECHING) 825 01:04:43,346 --> 01:04:45,439 Slow down! Take it easy, please! 826 01:04:45,514 --> 01:04:47,311 I can't get her down any further. 827 01:04:47,383 --> 01:04:50,910 This is all I can get out of this old crate. 828 01:04:52,188 --> 01:04:53,587 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 829 01:05:18,948 --> 01:05:20,779 Maternity Hospital. 830 01:05:20,850 --> 01:05:22,112 Fourteenth and B Street. 831 01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:23,173 Okay. 832 01:05:45,675 --> 01:05:47,165 (ALL SCREAMING) 833 01:06:02,358 --> 01:06:04,121 (SIRENS WAILING) 834 01:06:13,669 --> 01:06:16,103 Where do you think you're going, to a fire? 835 01:06:17,373 --> 01:06:19,238 Maternity Hospital. 836 01:06:19,308 --> 01:06:21,776 Okay, tomato-puss, follow me. 837 01:06:22,578 --> 01:06:24,375 (SIREN WAILING) 838 01:06:27,550 --> 01:06:28,881 (TIRES SCREECHING) 839 01:06:48,437 --> 01:06:50,667 Short cut to the hospital! 840 01:07:05,454 --> 01:07:07,081 (CRASHING) 841 01:07:44,393 --> 01:07:47,191 Darn those drunken painters! 842 01:07:56,372 --> 01:07:57,930 (TIRES SCREECHING) 843 01:08:21,464 --> 01:08:23,398 Get out of the way! 844 01:08:25,234 --> 01:08:28,567 Move! Out of the way! 845 01:08:38,314 --> 01:08:40,805 Look out there! Look out! 846 01:08:53,028 --> 01:08:57,055 What a splendid view of Californian climate. 847 01:09:03,472 --> 01:09:05,702 He said the fire is back there! 848 01:09:10,713 --> 01:09:11,975 Go back! 849 01:09:12,047 --> 01:09:14,413 Tell him to make up his mind! 850 01:09:19,054 --> 01:09:22,455 (CRASHING) 851 01:09:23,025 --> 01:09:25,391 Stretcher! 852 01:09:41,610 --> 01:09:43,043 (SCREAMING) 853 01:09:43,245 --> 01:09:44,769 Quiet. Where am I? 854 01:09:44,847 --> 01:09:46,212 Quiet, please. You'll alarm the other patients. 855 01:09:46,282 --> 01:09:48,443 What do I care about the other patients? Where are my clothes? 856 01:09:48,517 --> 01:09:50,417 Go away from me! Just a minute. Just a minute. 857 01:09:50,486 --> 01:09:52,784 Just a minute nothing. Give me my clothes and let me out of here. 858 01:09:52,855 --> 01:09:53,913 Wait a minute! 859 01:09:56,725 --> 01:09:58,716 Uncle Bill, are you all right? 860 01:09:58,794 --> 01:10:02,525 Lucky I didn't have an accident, I'd have never gotten here. 861 01:10:02,698 --> 01:10:05,667 My Uncle Bill, but I still love him. http://www.divx-titlovi.com