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...

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Rustling

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...

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A series created
by Hagai Levi

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According to the diaries
by Etty Hillesum

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Soft music

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...

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-Go ahead.

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...

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-I can ?
-Yes.

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...

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-Good.

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See you next week
<font color="

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Dark music

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...

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A LITTLE PART OF CHAOS

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Thrilling music

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...

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...

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Passage of a helicopter

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...

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Jumping music

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...

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-"His dark, faded eyes,

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<font color="
rest in me.

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"But this mouth
almost refusing

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Intriguing music

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...

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"Every time I see him,

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"his face changed again."

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...

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-NO TO OPPRESSION!

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<font color="
-NO TO OPPRESSION!

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*-No to oppression!
-NO TO OPPRESSION!

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*-We must fight!

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-STAY STANDING!
-Do you want a sign?

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-STAY STANDING!
*-We must fight!

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-STAY STANDING!
<font color="

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-STAY STANDING!
*-What is the emergency?

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-STAND IN SOLIDARITY!
*-What is the emergency?

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-STAND IN SOLIDARITY!
*-What is the emergency?

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-STAND IN SOLIDARITY!

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*-I would like to bring
the writer and presenter

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<font color="

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produced by the station
socialist VARA,

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Klaas Smelik.

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Cheers and applause

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...

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*-Violence, my comrades,

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any form of violence,
you know it as well as I do,

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<font color="

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to social injustice.

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The violence
that we are currently experiencing

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is largely
the consequence of neoliberalism!

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We unplug the microphone.
...of profound injustice.

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Boos

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-Rebranche the micros!

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Protestations

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...

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<font color="
This is fascism!

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Say no to fascism!

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No to fascism!

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We will always fight
against racism,

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xenophobia and oppression
of the most vulnerable!

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Solidarity!
-WELCOME TO IMMIGRANTS!

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<font color="
-WELCOME TO IMMIGRANTS!

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-Solidarity!
-WELCOME TO IMMIGRANTS!

68
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-They try to scare us,
to stop us from telling the truth!

69
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But look around you!

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-Bonjour.

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Settle down.

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I will note those who are outside
as present during the course.

73
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,920
Can you tell us
which author have you translated?

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-Uh...

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Klaas Smelik.

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-Hold !

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What a coincidence.

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(in Russian)

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-"His dark and veiled gaze,

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"incredibly insightful,

81
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"creeps into me...

82
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"but his mouth is

83
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“almost disgusting.

84
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"His face changes

85
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"constantly.

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<font color="
clearly and distinctly.

87
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"And yet,

88
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"it decomposes into a myriad
contradictory details,

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"forming a blurry image,

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"full of paradoxes.

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"It's as if the mind
and the material

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<font color="

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“inside this being.”

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Applause

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...

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-Merci.

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It's a surprising choice,
Klaas Smelik.

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Where did the idea come from?

99
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,080
-Oh, uh.... Yes.
In fact, I know him.

100
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We met in Deventer,
the city where I was born.

101
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,280
Yes. And we stayed in touch.

102
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,920
-So, is he okay?
I mean...

103
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,160
With what happens,
is he holding up?

104
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,840
-Yes, there is...

105
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,520
difficult times.
-I suspect.

106
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,120
At the start of the occupation,
there was a wave of suicides.

107
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He also made an attempt.

108
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I managed to stop him.

109
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Yes.

110
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I believe that literature
owes me a debt of gratitude.

111
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(-Okay.)

112
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,640
I wasn't aware of all that.

113
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-No.

114
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,320
-It's not him who wrote
what you translated.

115
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,560
He wouldn't talk like that
of a man.

116
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,360
Of a woman, yes, without a doubt,
but not as good,

117
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:48,320
that the true author of the text
that you have read.

118
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-Yes, well...

119
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,360
To be honest,

120
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,880
I started by translating
a text by Carry Van Bruggen

121
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but I was having too much trouble, so...

122
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So I thought
and I said to myself

123
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that the best was

124
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to write my own text.

125
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I wrote it first
and then I translated it into Russian.

126
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That's it, for...

127
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As for duty,
we can consider

128
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that it is a translation.

129
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-A passage from a literary work,
that's what I asked.

130
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,520
Are you a literary author?
-Not yet, no.

131
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I need... it may seem
pretentious, but I feel it,

132
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it is necessary
that I improve my technique...

133
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This is what I want to do.

134
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I want to write.

135
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Uh, anyway,

136
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:47,400
please excuse me.
It came to me at the last moment.

137
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,040
If I render a real translation
before the end of the semester,

138
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,480
would you agree?
-Yes.

139
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Let's do that, yes.

140
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If it still has
of importance.

141
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:02,840
-I think so.

142
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,920
More than ever, it is essential.

143
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For me, a phrase from Pushkin
is as important

144
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that racist laws

145
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that are imposed on us.

146
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Don't you believe?

147
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,120
-We can see things
from this angle.

148
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But hey.

149
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,480
-Anyway, sorry. Excuse me

150
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,760
for this waste of time
with my literary pretensions.

151
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,440
-No, it doesn't matter.
No, really.

152
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If there is one thing
which I will not miss,

153
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It’s plenty of time.

154
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,360
-Is everything okay?

155
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:42,680
-Yes.

156
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000
-You are worried.

157
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,320
-I...

158
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,680
I was fired.

159
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,440
-What ?

160
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:57,720
For what ?

161
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,400
-As always in these cases,

162
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,560
for breach of the regime

163
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,160
or I don't know what.

164
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,520
Being a Marxist
enough already.

165
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,600
-It's not possible.
-You have to believe that yes.

166
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,080
<font color="
retire, then...

167
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,280
-Oh yes ?

168
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,240
-No, but...

169
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,880
-It's sad.

170
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:27,840
What if...

171
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,640
Maybe if the students
signed a petition...

172
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,560
-I doubt these people will take
worth reading petitions.

173
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,440
I think there is no
much to do.

174
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,760
We will all end

175
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,520
by being touched.

176
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,920
It made me happy
to know you, miss.

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Melancholic music

178
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,000
-Sorry.

179
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,360
Please forgive me.

180
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,840
I feel stupid
and really egocentric

181
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,680
now that I know
that you are...

182
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,840
-Well, yes. That's how it is.

183
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,320
Everyone adapts to the situation,
with his means.

184
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:15,240
Bye.

185
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,240
Dark music

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...

187
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,480
Helicopter rotor

188
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,080
...

189
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:49,920
<font color="

190
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,000
- Hello.
- Greetings, Hans.

191
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,280
-You haven't paid yet.

192
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,080
-What are you saying?
-You haven't paid your rent.

193
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,720
-Oh, yes.

194
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:05,000
Sorry. I talked about it with your father
and I pay next month.

195
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,960
-I don't know about it.

196
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,000
-You might want...
-No, forget it.

197
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,600
I'll check with him. We are already taking
a risk by hosting you,

198
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,520
if it's for nothing...

199
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,440
<font color="

200
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,120
How are you ?
-Han? Are you back yet?

201
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,600
I had to help Hans revise.

202
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,880
What's wrong?
-Yes, it's nothing.

203
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,400
-Then tell.
What is it?

204
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,200
-Excuse me, I need
to be a little alone.

205
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,200
I'll come see you later.

206
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,760
There is a knock at the door.

207
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,720
<font color="

208
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,600
-Etty,

209
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,280
My heart...

210
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:12,240
-I'll join you later.
I don't want to get out of bed.

211
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,400
(-One.)

212
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,800
I'll make you something to eat.
Come on, come on.

213
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,400
-I'll come later.

214
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,920
I'm going to sleep until tomorrow morning.

215
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,000
(And then things will get better.)

216
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,400
-Will you tell me what happened?

217
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,320
-You know someone

218
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,520
Who is more egocentric than me?

219
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,040
-What are you telling me?
<font color="

220
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,000
you have lots of friends and colleagues.

221
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,560
You know a lot of people, so...

222
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:52,880
(-Etty.)

223
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:54,880
(Etty.)

224
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:03,920
-Just now,

225
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,440
after his lesson,

226
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,960
Van Donker asked me a question
on my duty.

227
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,880
I gave a monologue
ten minutes

228
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:18,280
where I told him that it was necessary
that I become a writer.

229
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,480
I'm here, getting him drunk,

230
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,680
with my big speech,
I see him nodding his head,

231
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,120
and suddenly he says
that he is fired.

232
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,320
<font color="

233
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,920
But why?

234
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,880
-Political persecution.
We blame him

235
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,280
to be a Marxist.
Everything he had was taken from him.

236
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,320
This department at the university,

237
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,760
that's all he has.

238
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,680
And his wife, perhaps.
They don't have any children.

239
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,400
How can I be such an idiot?

240
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,080
-This Van Donker is the same one who...

241
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,040
who gives private lessons,
rue de Vossius?

242
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,440
-Yes, Friday.

243
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,520
-Then come see him.

244
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,360
<font color="

245
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,120
tell him how affected you are.

246
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,120
(-Non.)
-For what ?

247
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,240
If you don't,
It will torment you.

248
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,680
And next time
that you will see it,

249
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,880
you will realize
that he doesn't even think about it anymore.

250
00:17:45,440 --> 00:18:04,480
...

251
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,720
-I never noticed anything.
-Excuse me,

252
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,240
you know what's going on?
-It's Van Donker's.

253
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,080
A misfortune has happened.

254
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,240
Heavy music

255
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:47,320
...

256
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:48,800
-Mrs. Van Donker?

257
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,720
I am Etty,
Friday classes.

258
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:54,920
-Yes ?

259
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,480
-What happened?

260
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,120
-He committed suicide with his revolver.

261
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,240
-But why...

262
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,360
When did he do that?

263
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,000
-Right after class,

264
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,200
on the way back.
-It's not possible,

265
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,720
I just spoke to him.

266
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,640
-You are the last person
to have spoken with him.

267
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:23,840
-Please ?

268
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,200
Can you accompany us?

269
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,480
-I am...

270
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,440
All my condolences.

271
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,920
-That's nice.
Thank you.

272
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:36,960
Bye.

273
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,480
Dark music

274
00:19:40,680 --> 00:20:02,120
...

275
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,160
Scary music

276
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:30,880
...

277
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,320
Dark music

278
00:20:33,520 --> 00:21:06,120
<font color="

279
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,120
-"It would be simpler, sometimes,
to choose not to live anymore.

280
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,240
“Nothing is holding me back anymore.

281
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,960
“I already know everything.

282
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,480
"So why force yourself
to experience it for real?

283
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,600
"I just have to let myself slide,
<font color="

284
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,840
"to fall asleep there gently,

285
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,160
“abandon me.”

286
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,560
Fast-paced music

287
00:21:37,760 --> 00:22:01,080
...

288
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,800
- Mlle Hillesum.
-M. Spier.

289
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:22,360
-You are welcome.

290
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,240
Come.

291
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,600
Please wait for me nearby.
I'm yours right away.

292
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,200
No, not here.
Let's go to the office.

293
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:29,960
-Sorry.

294
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,520
Excuse me.
-It's not serious.

295
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,200
I'm not an avid follower
of psychoanalysis.

296
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,560
Or I'm not anymore,

297
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,720
to be precise.
There is only the couch

298
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,640
that I did not abandon in Berlin.

299
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,440
-For what ?

300
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,240
-I find him handsome.

301
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,320
-I meant
for psychoanalysis.

302
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,080
You no longer want to practice it?

303
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,080
-My hearing.
It was only getting worse.

304
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,080
One day, I no longer have any
including my patients

305
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,000
lying on it, then...

306
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,400
At one point,
I asked myself:

307
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,200
how to help someone
without seeing his face?

308
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,360
Where is the love of one's neighbor?

309
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,120
How did you feel?

310
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,640
-To be honest,

311
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,800
I admit that since Van Donker...

312
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,640
Since his death...

313
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,200
I can't get anything done anymore.

314
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,960
Did you know about him?
-Yes.

315
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,080
Did you know him?

316
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,760
-I was his student.

317
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,240
In Slavistic.

318
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,200
-Oh, I...

319
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,280
I'm sorry.

320
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,000
-I had just seen him,
just a few minutes before...

321
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,560
And then I learned
that I should be

322
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,120
the last person
to have spoken to him.

323
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,600
-How do you know?
-His wife told me.

324
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,760
She didn't reproach me.

325
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,880
I didn't need her.

326
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,080
-I'm really sorry.

327
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,520
I imagine how you felt.

328
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,760
You need to tell yourself this:

329
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,120
no one could have stopped him.

330
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:58,400
Person.

331
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,080
You know that, right?

332
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,360
-Yes. It's
what everyone says, but...

333
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,680
At the time, it terrified me,

334
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,800
I rode my bike through the streets
like a sick person.

335
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,760
I was unable to calm down.

336
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,160
-Do you know what caused
this panic?

337
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,000
-The very first thought

338
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,480
which came to me,

339
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:42,600
that's because I was...

340
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,960
jealous.

341
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,600
I had this image of the ball.

342
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,480
I saw it go through his head,

343
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,280
and enter mine.

344
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,720
And I was relieved.

345
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:15,720
Do you understand that?

346
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,040
-Yes.
-Oh yes ?

347
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,480
What do you understand?

348
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,520
-I understand that such a thought
can be scary.

349
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,840
The idea that you too,

350
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,360
you might get there.

351
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,200
-I spent the night
on a bridge thinking about it.

352
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,920
I didn't have the courage.

353
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,280
-It's not a question of courage.
You don't want to die.

354
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:01,640
-Well...

355
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,680
The number of times I say to myself:
"If a bomb fell from a plane

356
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,120
"or if a tree fell on me,

357
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,120
“that would be nice.”

358
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,440
-Continue.

359
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,600
-What ?

360
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,240
-In what other way
Do you fantasize about your death?

361
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,960
-I demonstrate
of great creativity.

362
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,360
Suddenly, I'm asleep
on a bench in winter,

363
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,720
the snow covers me
and I freeze to death.

364
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,360
Or I'm on a bike,
my brakes are failing

365
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,720
and I land at the bottom of a canal.

366
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,880
-There, you don't decide anything
of what is happening to you.

367
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,200
In your fantasies,
you are always passive.

368
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:09,400
It's an external force
that takes you out of your despair.

369
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,720
-Yes.

370
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,560
Doing it for real is...

371
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,400
It's beyond my strength.

372
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,640
-I'm not sure.

373
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,800
I believe
that you don't want it.

374
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,480
<font color="

375
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,680
-How do you know that?

376
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,840
My hand tells you?

377
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,640
-Among others, yes.

378
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,080
-Alright.

379
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,720
You will be able to explain to me.
I came for that.

380
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:03,680
Non ?

381
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,520
-And.
-I don't hide it, it fascinates me.

382
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,960
Even if I seem skeptical.

383
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,520
I followed your conference
the other day at university.

384
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,000
And Lizzie kept telling me
that I should see you, then...

385
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,040
I said to myself:

386
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,600
“Come on. Go ahead.
What are you risking?

387
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,160
“Put skepticism
and prejudices aside."

388
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,040
I have a Cartesian mind.
I'm the first to believe

389
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,840
to scientific methods.
So...

390
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,080
I don't have to apologize for that.

391
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,680
I came to the conclusion

392
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,080
that it is plausible

393
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,600
that the experiences,
traumas have

394
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,320
a body imprint,
them too.

395
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,400
Maybe this kind of thing
is also reflected...

396
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,480
in our palms.

397
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,960
Without any connection with clairvoyance.

398
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,400
It has nothing to do with it...

399
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,640
clairvoyance?

400
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,800
-No. Nothing to do with that.

401
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,120
-So it's okay.

402
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,800
You give me an example
of one of your cases?

403
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:20,400
-My pleasure.

404
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,520
I can give you the one
that I have in front of me.

405
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,800
This need you have
to let your reason speak

406
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,080
before your emotions.

407
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,160
I can ?

408
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:40,480
-Yes.

409
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:50,760
-The Apollo line.

410
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,160
We'll see about the names.

411
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,400
Yours is very strong.

412
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,400
Here in the middle you have
the head line, curved,

413
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,760
and there, the heart line,
pronounced,

414
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,040
with all its ramifications,
signs of intense emotions.

415
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:06,920
The Mount of Saturn.

416
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,560
<font color="
Yours is wide.

417
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:10,960
Very marked.

418
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,400
And it is prominent.

419
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,320
There are signs of intercourse
conflict between your parents.

420
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,160
The mother is

421
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,560
a passionate, quite aggressive one.

422
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,200
And depressed.

423
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:32,080
And here we have the father.
Rational, even inhibited, perhaps.

424
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,000
Your preference for the father,
as well as logic

425
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,320
are clearly evident here.

426
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,720
And that's understandable.

427
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,640
Since all
these irrepressible emotions

428
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,880
must be absolutely curbed
to maintain control.

429
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,280
Avoid going crazy.

430
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,640
Only, these emotions,

431
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,440
they don't disappear.

432
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,400
They are still there.

433
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,120
Just repressed.

434
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,160
They are waiting.

435
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,240
They are waiting
to turn against you.

436
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,560
<font color="

437
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,840
That's what depression is, after all.

438
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,600
It's an attack
which comes from within.

439
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,560
(-Oui.)

440
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:36,600
Can I...

441
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,600
It's totally inappropriate,
but could I close my eyes?

442
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,840
On your couch for a few minutes.

443
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,720
I hardly sleep anymore.

444
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,840
-I understand. Come, get up.

445
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:02,760
-For what?

446
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,920
-I would like to try something.

447
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:08,960
It might help you.

448
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,000
Come. And take off your shoes.

449
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,640
Stand here, in front of me.

450
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,480
Put your hands on my shoulders.

451
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:52,560
Let's go.

452
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,520
GOOD.

453
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,200
Push with all your might.

454
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:09,760
Stronger.

455
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:16,640
GOOD.

456
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,880
Soft music

457
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:40,040
...

458
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,720
-We're taking a break.

459
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,040
Or I will...

460
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,080
-Again.

461
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:57,600
Come on, come on.

462
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,840
Lean forward.

463
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:11,240
Upper body leaning forward
to lower the center of gravity.

464
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,840
To have
a stable center of gravity.

465
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:17,520
It's good.

466
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,120
Stretch out your arms towards me.

467
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,480
Intriguing music

468
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:38,480
...

469
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,400
Little cry

470
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,480
Get up. We're going back.

471
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,320
Without eroticism, this time.

472
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,040
-How so ?
-Try

473
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,840
to neutralize it.

474
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,440
-What are you talking about?
-No eroticism or fantasy.

475
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,480
-I don't have at all...
-And no waiting.

476
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:04,480
Don't try to think
what might come out of it.

477
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,040
<font color="
and breathing.

478
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:33,040
...

479
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,680
Little grunts of effort

480
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,560
-Let me go!
-You can surrender.

481
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:46,440
...

482
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,440
-Okay. I surrender.

483
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,320
-How do you feel?

484
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:12,520
-I don't know.

485
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:20,880
Calmer, perhaps?

486
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,520
-It feels good to let go.

487
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,320
Non ?

488
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,960
<font color="

489
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,000
And acceptance is one thing
which can be learned.

490
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,720
That we must learn.

491
00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:54,920
You will see it, here,

492
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,440
in our exercises.

493
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:03,600
-Shall we do it again?

494
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,680
-It'll be fine for today.
-One last time.

495
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,960
I want to understand the movement.

496
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:19,480
-All right.

497
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:28,640
But this time...

498
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:29,760
-Pardon.

499
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,440
Oh, but what...

500
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,360
What an idiot.

501
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,920
Excuse me.
-It's nothing.

502
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,360
-I'm sorry.

503
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,120
-It's nothing.

504
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,560
-Maybe we need to disinfect?
-It'll be OK.

505
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,720
-Really, I regret it.

506
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,840
I don't know what came over me,
you weren't ready.

507
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,440
-No, it's good.

508
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:07,800
Very good, even.

509
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,320
-Are these the risks of the job?
-No.

510
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,640
I hadn't yet
never experienced this.

511
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,400
-I can ?

512
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:27,360
Lizzie.

513
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:28,720
-I believed
that you were finished.

514
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,800
-We've gone a little overboard.
We're almost done.

515
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,920
<font color="

516
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,400
I leave you the documents
and I go there.

517
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:38,920
It'll be OK ?

518
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:40,800
-Oui.
-Next session

519
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,760
in five minutes.
-I know. THANKS.

520
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,360
We will do

521
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,480
update, next week.

522
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,560
-All right. GOOD. THANKS.

523
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:03,400
Lizzie, attends.

524
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:05,480
-Quoi ?

525
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,400
-It's not what you think.
-Good.

526
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,080
Go ahead, then, explain.

527
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,200
-We were fighting and then I don't know.
I did something stupid.

528
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,960
Without meaning to.
I don't know how.

529
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,600
Would you have wanted me to leave it?

530
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,240
-But, no, I know.

531
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,280
There's no problem, don't worry.

532
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,920
-You're talking...
I saw your look.

533
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,280
-Yeah. I said to myself:

534
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,720
"She will be alone with a guy
without thinking about a sex date."

535
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:42,120
-I just explained to you.
-Yes I know. I heard.

536
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,360
I say that, I say nothing.

537
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,080
-Someone is wallowing on you,
put your hands down...

538
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,160
If you want to keep it sanitized,
don't touch me.

539
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,400
-On the contrary, that's the idea!

540
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:56,680
-OK...

541
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,560
It's not that easy.
-All right.

542
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,920
-He too, he...

543
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:04,200
-What?

544
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,640
-There was still eroticization.

545
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,760
He came to lie on me
and I felt it.

546
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:11,040
-It's okay, stop.

547
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,360
That's why
that I didn't want to send you there.

548
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,040
-Pardon ?
You almost made me go.

549
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:22,520
-I wanted to help you.

550
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:25,840
I was sure that you...
Well, anyway.

551
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,080
This work is everything for me.

552
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,120
<font color="

553
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:33,480
It's true,

554
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,880
you saw it clearly,
it changed my life.

555
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:38,760
It saved my marriage.
-Of course...

556
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,160
-I thought
that it could help you too.

557
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,800
I said to myself:
“Come on, I’ll take the risk.”

558
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,520
-What were you risking?
-It's a place

559
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,360
important to me.

560
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,080
<font color="
-You have nothing to fear.

561
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,320
I'm already sleeping with Han.

562
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,960
I would bother with another guy
Who is old enough to be my father?

563
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:05,560
Have faith in me.

564
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:08,120
All right ?

565
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:13,920
-It's mine.

566
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,200
-I can take the same one.

567
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,360
Dark music

568
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:38,360
...

569
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,240
-Quoi ?
-No, nothing.

570
00:43:40,440 --> 00:44:58,160
...

571
00:44:58,360 --> 00:44:59,400
-Etty!

572
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,320
-Hello, Han.
- Hello.

573
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,200
How are you ?

574
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:10,600
Is it okay or not?

575
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,000
-Yes, it's okay.
-Sure?

576
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,120
Where are you from?

577
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:15,840
-I was with Lizzie.

578
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:19,840
-How was it with Spier?

579
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:23,960
-How are you. It was good, yes.

580
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,000
Interesting.

581
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:28,280
-All right. So what?

582
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:30,040
-So what?

583
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,560
-He didn't give you a diagnosis?

584
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,000
-No. Not yet.

585
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,520
-What did he tell you?
-Are you having a fixation?

586
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,000
That won't help you understand me.

587
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,920
Have no illusions.
-For what ? You don't know.

588
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:48,640
-Okay, listen...

589
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,880
It's nice of you to worry,
but don't exaggerate.

590
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:56,400
<font color="

591
00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:25,800
...

592
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,080
Are you sure you still love me?

593
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,200
-I said it again this morning.

594
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:35,560
Isn't that enough for you?

595
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,120
-Non.

596
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:47,520
It's never enough for me.

597
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,240
I'm going to go out for a walk.
Get some fresh air.

598
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,480
-It's almost curfew.

599
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,000
-"Dear Mr. Spier..."

600
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,720
Intriguing music

601
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:29,000
...

602
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,960
"Cher M. S...

603
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:38,080
<font color="
and I don't plan to come back.

604
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:42,600
...

605
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,240
"When I returned home,
after leaving you,

606
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,080
"and my blood,
thanks to your exercises,

607
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,080
"circulated vigorously,

608
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,440
"there was such a conflict within me

609
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,080
<font color="
and contradictory feelings,

610
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,640
"that I felt
caught in a vice.

611
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:07,080
"I felt erotic urges
towards you

612
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,280
"and at the same time,
a strong repulsion.

613
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:28,920
...

614
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:32,880
<font color="
from the depths of my soul,

615
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,400
"and I said to myself: 'Ah, yes,

616
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,520
"I must be crazy,
like the rest of the family.'

617
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:50,880
...

618
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,560
"In this long letter,

619
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,240
"everything is said
in a pathetic and pompous tone.

620
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,400
<font color="
to stroke my head and say:

621
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:06,480
"'Come, Etty, my dear little one,
everything will work out in the end.

622
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:10,920
"'Stop taking yourself
so seriously,

623
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,200
"you, your thoughts
and your feelings.'

624
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,160
Tension music

625
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:30,280
<font color="

626
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,240
"The truth is...

627
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,840
"suddenly I'm overwhelmed
by a feeling of loneliness.

628
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,760
"The intuition that we must
face life alone,

629
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,840
"without being able to count
on no help.

630
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,280
"Anyway, dear Mr. S,

631
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:12,000
<font color="
spare you this letter.

632
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,160
“Thank you for all the good
that you have already done to me.

633
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:19,680
"Etty Hillesum."

634
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:36,040
Dark music

635
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:52,160
...

636
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:53,920
Adaptation
Franck HERVE

637
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,320
Artistic direction
Nathalie REGNIER

638
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,320
With the voices of

639
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,520
Caroline MOZZONE, Bernard GABAY,

640
00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:02,680
Patrick BONNEL, Alice TAURAND,

641
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,760
Damien FERRETTE and Gabriel LE DOZE

642
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:06,520
Fiction Unit ARTE France

643
00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:08,880
Supervision French version
Natacha LEITAO-FUCHS

644
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:10,840
Studio
CINEPHASE

645
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,320
SME subtitling: VECTRACOM