1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:05,471 THIS FILM IS SUBMITTED THROUGH A TRUE STORY. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,600 SOME CHARACTERS ARE COMPOSED 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,751 AND THE EVENTS DRANIATIZED 4 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,358 Common sense tells us that we are what we choose. 5 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:35,275 Right or wrong, our decisions determine who we are. 6 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,670 They determine our fate. 7 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:43,240 But I didn't listen according to my common sense... 8 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,715 ...and when I started listening, it was already too late. 9 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,311 Big business and democracy don't go together. 10 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:58,510 They serve conflicting interests. Have you read Mailer in The Review yet? 11 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,069 All words. 12 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,473 He even posits that... 13 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,238 ...is normal for humans. 14 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,952 YOUR husband says you write. - Excuse me? 15 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,033 YOUR husband says you have a book you are writing. 16 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,760 Would you excuse me for a moment? I have to… 17 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,112 ...refresh my drink. 18 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,757 Tell. Name, state, boxer shorts or briefs. 19 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:33,551 Who is it again? - That guy over there who's exactly my type. 20 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,712 Then the choice becomes very wide. 21 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,791 Witty. 22 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,236 Who is gaping at me. 23 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,114 Don't look. 24 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,796 Never seen it before. - He has that married thing. 25 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,600 Don't you ever get caught? - With what? 26 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,913 It's just a game. Andrew doesn't care. 27 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,674 He leaves his ears open talk from the head. 28 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,151 Without entertainment I would run of boredom. 29 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,799 I already see the headlines: 30 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:08,158 Fundraiser's wife dies from drinking. 31 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,311 Risk of the profession? 32 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,677 Ikgaempaf - Good luck. 33 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,317 Perfect. Thank you. 34 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:25,431 That is the true pleasure. That first tantalizing cold sip. 35 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,992 Then you just chase the feeling of that first confrontation. 36 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,992 Words of a true alcoholic? 37 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:39,271 Isn't that true for most things? that we want to relive that first time? 38 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,513 Is that you? 39 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,035 Alcoholic? - Married. 40 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,240 You're even better than I thought. 41 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,191 So here's a seat. 42 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,438 I see you as my husband Rick you've already met. 43 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,432 Your husband? - I meant this Sue. 44 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,911 Her husband raises funds for the new hospital. 45 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:09,517 How is your book going? Sue is writing a classic. 46 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,991 A thousand pages looking for a theme. - Ouch. 47 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,514 Say that. 48 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,672 Cheers. What are we drinking to? 49 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,991 To stimulating first encounters. - Very well. 50 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,353 Fine, but in that case we have to also the two and the four… 51 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,999 I'm going to get some air. 52 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,430 What a surprise. - You forgot something. 53 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,194 A glass? 54 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,916 No, this. 55 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,874 Who are you? - Who do you want me to be? 56 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,474 Darling? 57 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,719 Rick? 58 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:29,356 I'm really not exaggerating. The plane plummets. 59 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:34,435 Moderate turbulence... -I squeeze the armrest really hard... 60 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,389 ...for an eternity.… - Five minutes at most. 61 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,712 Then the little guy next to me turns turns to me and says: 62 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,670 Excuse me, ma'am, but when you're ready with my arm, can I have it again? 63 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,319 You are blossoming. 64 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,632 That part is true. The holes are probably still in his arm. 65 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:12,074 I think Fedder is in on it. In fact, he was honored that I asked him. 66 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,596 Thank you. - Sorry, I didn't see you. 67 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,232 You mean it. 68 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,198 Rick. 69 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,510 If it's important, I'll come. 70 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:26,037 Then I'll trade my days and take Monday off. 71 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:29,999 See you later. 72 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,797 You blink and another one gets the axe. 73 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,191 What have you done to him? - Nothing happened. 74 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,830 Suppose we flirted, which isn't true, but so what? 75 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,389 The French see flirting as an art. 76 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,996 It will spice up your marriage. - Does your marriage need that? 77 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,154 We pitted in record time to: who takes out the garbage. 78 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,312 Not true. You are very normal. 79 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,553 Who says it anyway marriage involves fireworks? 80 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:13,999 Man and woman. Crazy actually, he remains a man, but you become a housewife. 81 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,152 That's not right. - You shouldn't think so much. 82 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:23,639 They should tell you that if you say 'yes', you actually say 'no'. 83 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,553 No, I never will again feeling alive... 84 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,475 ...never think again: Kiss me until I pass out. 85 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,154 With someone like him. 86 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,959 Who is that? 87 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,950 Laurent Dekker... 88 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,909 ...a superstar from Paris that Reiner for the Mercer project Want to tie. 89 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:51,079 Maybe the boss can take my help use. I can be very persuasive. 90 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,915 You are unbelievable. Get to work. 91 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,433 Is Friday a good time? 92 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,475 Did you hear what I said? 93 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,519 Naturally. 94 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,758 So Friday dinner with Fedder and what's her name again? 95 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,274 Friday here? 96 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,436 I thought you were listening? 97 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,351 Why that long face? - Boring. 98 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:25,957 But wealthy. And I have him almost ready to donate. 99 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,275 Besides, he might have a full-time job for you. 100 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:36,393 We have this conversation every week. I want time to write. 101 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,312 We have to make money. 102 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:44,351 You've been 'writing' for five years now. In the meantime we are spending our money. 103 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:49,754 Why don't you pay the bills for a while? - All right. Dinner with us on Friday. 104 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,515 Latvian delicacies. -I'll be the role model. 105 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,594 That's how I like it. See you tonight. 106 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,355 Do we have food in the house? -I'll get something after work. 107 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,352 I have to go to work. 108 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:30,274 Here I am. 109 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,910 Do you know who you are talking to? - Yes. 110 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,789 You have intoxicated me. I keep thinking about you. 111 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:44,315 Does that mean something good, or get over it? 112 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,510 You'll have to judge that for yourself. 113 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,794 What would you say if I said that I want to see you? Only. 114 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,238 Did I scare you? - What do you mean, are you dangerous? 115 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,153 No, but what we're going to do is. 116 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,676 What exactly are we going to do? 117 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,117 I know where it is. 118 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,196 Friday. I'll be there. 119 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,549 I want to introduce you to someone. 120 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:37,349 This is Laurent Dekker. He works with us on the Mercer project. 121 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,194 Sue Silverman. - Nice to meet you. 122 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:44,115 I'm a fan of yours. I have the article read in Architectural Review. 123 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:48,114 I came across as quite smart in that regard. 124 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,477 But you shouldn't believe any of that. 125 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,874 Do you have time to set up an office? - I make time for Mr. Dekker's office. 126 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,271 You will love the corner room. -I'm leaving you. 127 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,513 Behave. 128 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,356 What do you have? - Nothing. I just feel good. 129 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,239 Aren't you coming too late? - Yes. 130 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,234 Don't forget the Fedders tonight. - Don't worry, Nlaakje. 131 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,836 Maybe you should buy flowers. What do you think? 132 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,314 Don't worry. I have it under control. Now go. 133 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,077 Nice day. 134 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:31,991 With me. Don't forget to buy Wine. I think he likes Zinfandel. 135 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,073 Good? And Sue... 136 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,631 ...thank you. I have been lately been quite absent-minded. 137 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:43,317 I really appreciate it. See you tonight. 138 00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:00,399 This must be wider then another door can be added. 139 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,033 Was it tasty? 140 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,190 What a question. I almost stayed in it. 141 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,916 We shouldn't do this anymore. 142 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,991 Are you putting me aside already? 143 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,152 No, it was... 144 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,590 I like you, but it's wrong. 145 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:46,198 Part of me knows you're right. The other part of me doesn't care. 146 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:50,672 Which part wins? - I don't know yet. 147 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,554 April… 148 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:58,314 You don't have to stay home. Take her with you. 149 00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,993 How old is she? 150 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,192 No problem. I'll think of something food for a ten year old. 151 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,271 See you later. 152 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,276 That's what my dad says all the time. - Children and drunk people... 153 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:23,789 It was delicious. Let me help you. - I'll put it in the sink. Stay seated. 154 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,954 Thank you. - We have Zoe's favorite dessert. 155 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,636 Chocolate? - You bet. 156 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,717 Here he comes. 157 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,234 Just look. 158 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,116 Was it tasty? - Yeah, Fedder's in. 159 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,990 I even have a job interview for it you arranged. So mission accomplished. 160 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,472 And you? 161 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,870 You looked so strange when you... stood there like that. 162 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,714 It was nothing. - Tell me. 163 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:24,200 I can't put it into words. 164 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,519 It looked like you were going to burst into tears. 165 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:35,873 I suddenly wanted it very much… 166 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,749 ...to be that happy girl. Ridiculous. 167 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,477 Leave the dishes until tomorrow. Come along to bed. 168 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,829 You go ahead. I'll be right there. 169 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,391 I know what you need. 170 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,229 You have no messages. 171 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,439 HAPPY WEDNESDAY 172 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,030 Definitely turned wrong. 173 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:11,160 HAPPY WEDNESDAY 174 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,560 I don't know. In fifteen minutes. 175 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,912 Look who we have here. 176 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,232 Also a coincidence, right? 177 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,433 You're not wearing anything. - Also coincidental. 178 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:09,877 You don't eat anything. - I don't eat, I don't sleep... 179 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:15,194 It's like I'm flying, like I've met my match. 180 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,955 And what about Andrew? - My equal when it comes to sex. 181 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:25,275 Rick is just as wild and rash as I am. The flames are shooting out. 182 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:32,756 It's like a crazy hunger keeps me wanting more. 183 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,719 I can't think of anything else. - ButAndrew? 184 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,351 Back to reality for a moment. - Andrew is my rock. 185 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:46,717 With Rick it's just a game. I can stop whenever I want. 186 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:51,909 From games comes suffering. - Come on, don't put a damper on it. 187 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:58,950 Because of him I feel alive. When he looks at me, I feel that I exist. 188 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:06,311 As if he is the reason for my existence. If that stops, I'll disappear again. 189 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,274 Andrew... 190 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,310 ...just doesn't understand it. 191 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:18,954 Are you saying he doesn't like sex? - No, it's just a phase. 192 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:23,000 Steven and you have too you had problems? Everyone has that. 193 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,510 You have it too sometimes thought about? 194 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,914 An affair will spice up your marriage. - With arsenic too. 195 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,479 I shouldn't have said anything. - I'm worried. 196 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:41,158 About what? I have everything under control. It has nothing to do with it. 197 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,473 What harm can it do? - Don't be so naive. 198 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:55,715 This is it. YOUR parents have achieved quite a milestone. 199 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,440 I wish I knew their secret. - What do you mean? 200 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:04,551 Married for 35 years today to deal with all those divorces and stress... 201 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,793 ...extramarital... - Do you like it? 202 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,590 I don't really like scales. - It's a vase. 203 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,274 Me too, but possible we make a decision? 204 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,353 Could be, if we had an opinion. 205 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,830 Then make sure you get one. I'll see you outside. 206 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:32,279 They will definitely like it. After 35 year they have earned something special. 207 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,794 Do you think? 208 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,916 35 years… 209 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,913 ...united in the holy covenant... 210 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,037 ...of our wedding. 211 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:52,513 And my vow from 35 years ago has not lost any of its truth. 212 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,831 To my wife, Fay. 213 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:07,919 And on my precious treasure, the light of my life, my beautiful daughter. 214 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,154 A photo. 215 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,791 No, I look terrible. - Come on, Sue. Next to me. 216 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:17,758 You too Andrew. 217 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:23,519 Look at the camera. 218 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,876 I received this as an advisor the Minister of the Interior. 219 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,434 Thank you, honey. 220 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,750 Will We Stay Married for 35 Years? 221 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:41,039 No idea. I've never thought about it. 222 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,594 Why not? 223 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,956 Do you think you'll ever leave me? 224 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,757 Is this another attack? of separation anxiety? 225 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,714 Let's pay tribute to one of Sue's neurotic moments. 226 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,391 You drive, maybe you should don't drink anymore. 227 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,951 That invitation from the president also appears in the book. 228 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,591 Which book? - See, I can still surprise you. 229 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:38,470 My memoirs. And I have one more surprise. 230 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:44,238 I want you to write them. My talented Sue, the writer. 231 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,397 It will be our special project. 232 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,112 Would you consider it? - Yes, Dad. 233 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:55,999 Then say it. 234 00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,912 I love you, daddy. 235 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,631 My princess. 236 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,189 Say you love me. 237 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,432 What did you just say? 238 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,754 Nothing. 239 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,751 How can you apply for a job? forgot about John Fedder? 240 00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,675 After I had everything arranged. - I had things on my mind. 241 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,354 What kind of things? Take a look around you. 242 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,955 Apparently you don't think so cleaning, cooking... 243 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,715 I'm not there for you anyway to clean and cook? 244 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,838 That is clear. Look around you. 245 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,799 What's happening here? - Nothing. 246 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,749 That's what I mean. And yet you have it no time to apply for jobs. 247 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:28,071 I'm sorry. I will become more orderly. 248 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,319 When will you be back? - Don't whine so much... 249 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,359 ...when I have to go on a business trip. - I don't want to be alone. 250 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,638 Someone has to work. It's not the end of the world. 251 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,233 I don't like it when you act like that. That scares me. 252 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,789 Don't start again. - Can't you... 253 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,794 Man up. I can't stand this. 254 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,956 Look who's visiting. 255 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,475 You remember Sue Silverman, right? 256 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,118 You know, from the party at the Brooks. 257 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,477 Naturally. How are you? - Nice to see you again. 258 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,199 Hello buddy. 259 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,114 Why don't you stay for dinner? 260 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,154 Please continue to eat. 261 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:12,674 No... 262 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,958 ...better not. By the way, I have plans. 263 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,836 Then we will wash our hands. 264 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,433 What do you think? 265 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,039 Enough attention like that? - Never enough. 266 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,274 What do you love? 267 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,993 That's what I was going to say. 268 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,071 So just say it. 269 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,669 First I want to dance. Can you do that? 270 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,919 Hello. - You look terrible. 271 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,878 Good morning too. 272 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,678 Everthing okay? - Yes. 273 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,559 Are you sure? - Nothing's wrong. 274 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,751 Where are the stop signs if you need one? 275 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,560 I was looking for you. Can you help me in my office? 276 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:33,398 I will, if I have to immediately. - Sue will take care of it, right? 277 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,599 This way. - It was about something in your office, right? 278 00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,149 I didn't say which office. 279 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,234 Do you like surprises? 280 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:02,634 Iook 281 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,555 Because we all do are pre-programmed. 282 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:31,076 You know it, but Don't want to admit it. 283 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:35,236 Americans. You have your psychotherapy. 284 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:40,349 Change this, change that. I'm not happy. Change me. 285 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,952 All nonsense. 286 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,279 There is no free will. 287 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,079 Who we are and how we are... 288 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:53,278 ...is all built-in. 289 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,394 Not here… 290 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,559 ...but here. 291 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,792 There's nothing you can do about that. 292 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,400 That's why we're like animals... 293 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:12,829 ...with the same needs and the same desires. 294 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,390 So you write. Tell me about it. 295 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:26,633 I'm not as skilled at it as you are. 296 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,360 I didn't know you were a poet too. 297 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:34,236 I am an architect because I want to be one. I write because I have to. 298 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:42,589 Tell me, you write just as timidly if you are against me? 299 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,519 What do you mean? - A writer should not be afraid. 300 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,631 You have to go to the darkest dare to go to remote corners.… 301 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,831 ...seeing pushing things that can hurt you. 302 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,593 I'm not as delicate as you think. 303 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:15,278 I didn't see Sue again after lunch. 304 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,955 She wasn't feeling well maybe she went home. 305 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,151 Maybe I can help? 306 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,959 Good. Sorry, Reiner. 307 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,878 What? - I love that look. 308 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:37,633 Which look? 309 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,359 In your eyes... 310 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,516 ...sparkles of passion... 311 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:45,559 ...pain. 312 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,074 You are hurt... 313 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,553 ...but behind it all... 314 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,833 ...there is a girl hiding. 315 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,754 Innocent. 316 00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,470 Come with me to my room. 317 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,519 See... 318 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,718 ...you're not that confident as you think. 319 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,596 If you don't want to go any further you have to say stop. 320 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,592 I don't want you to stop. 321 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,830 I know. I feel it. 322 00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:38,074 I want more. 323 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:43,670 You are different. - No, I'm too much like you. 324 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,795 And that scares you, doesn't it? 325 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,119 Not yet. 326 00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:00,199 Later? Don't leave yet. 327 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,191 Here's a little poem. 328 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,233 It's in French. 329 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,439 Ta raison d'être... 330 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,913 ...ce n'est qu'un rêve. 331 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,391 It means: Your free will... 332 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:31,833 ...is a dream. 333 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,953 You followed me. 334 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,072 Don't. 335 00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:19,880 I don't want you to hurt me. - I won't do that. 336 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:21,994 I'm going to marry you. 337 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:27,749 And that pain behind your eyes I will take away. 338 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,434 Andrew, it's me. 339 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,478 I know. 340 00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:26,629 I called you awake, didn't I? 341 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,076 I just wanted to hear your voice. 342 00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:33,594 Everything… 343 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:39,317 ...will get better when you get back. I promise. 344 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,758 Yes. Good. 345 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,678 I'm waiting for you. Have you forgotten me? 346 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:30,834 Sue? 347 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,758 Unbelievable. 348 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,672 I'm sorry. 349 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:48,079 Did you hear me? - What are you sorry? 350 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,113 You said you were going to be more orderly, right? 351 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,999 And you promised anyway that everything would get better? 352 00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,958 I'm doing my best. - Stop it. 353 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,351 Believe it or not… -Are you sick? 354 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:06,514 Is it that hard to act normal? Cleaning, cooking. Normal things. 355 00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,479 I'm trying. - It's disgusting. 356 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,231 Everything. Take a look around you. 357 00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:17,992 I? 358 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:19,833 Yes, you too. 359 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,835 Where are you going? - Away. 360 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,433 I think my marriage is over. 361 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,911 What? - Not just because of that argument. 362 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,916 I don't want to sleep with him anymore and I lay down upstairs. 363 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,118 Maybe you need some air. That happens more often. 364 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,030 But there is something much bigger at play. 365 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,999 That man? 366 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:25,790 You're just in love. It was just a game, right? 367 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:30,193 Don't do anything crazy because of a slip-up. - He wants to marry me. 368 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,273 What? - It's not about the sex. 369 00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:39,238 I think I love him. - What do you mean? It's just about fucking. 370 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,913 Strangers don't like each other. 371 00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:46,079 Besides, Rick is already married. - It's not about him. 372 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:50,469 What do you mean? - I told you this is different. 373 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,677 He's like my alter ego. 374 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,079 Who? 375 00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,354 Not Laurent after all? Sue, this is ridiculous... 376 00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:05,674 I don't want and can't stop it. - It's sick. You need help. 377 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:10,676 You're not listening. And I don't need a lecture. - Here. Pakaan. 378 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,751 I wanted to give it to you sooner. 379 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,796 Robert Gardener. 380 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,600 A shrink? - You need to talk to someone. 381 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:20,990 Stop it. I met someone... 382 00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,800 ...I love him. That's normal. - No. 383 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:29,558 He understands me. - You said that about Rick too. Remember? 384 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,517 Everything okay here? 385 00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:39,310 I had a fight with Andrew, so i just wanted to talk. 386 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:44,395 Nothing to worry about. Have a nice day. I'm going now. 387 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,230 I'll figure it out. I promise. 388 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:51,998 Day. - Take care of yourself. 389 00:48:46,700 --> 00:48:50,580 It's me again. Pick it up, Sue. 390 00:48:51,180 --> 00:48:54,696 I just want to know that everything is okay. Call me at work. 391 00:48:54,860 --> 00:48:57,579 Reiner is looking for you, so experience it. 392 00:49:03,220 --> 00:49:06,611 FOR OUR SPECIAL PROJECT. LOVE, DADDY. 393 00:49:07,420 --> 00:49:09,775 I can free you from all this. 394 00:49:12,540 --> 00:49:14,656 You won't feel anything at all. 395 00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:17,173 That's what you want, right? 396 00:49:17,820 --> 00:49:21,017 Feel nothing at all? Like you're floating. 397 00:49:24,660 --> 00:49:26,617 My princess. 398 00:50:11,660 --> 00:50:14,459 Tell me what I want. 399 00:50:15,620 --> 00:50:19,454 I'm ready to go. I thought... 400 00:50:19,620 --> 00:50:21,816 You were going to take me with you, right? 401 00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:25,131 Don't you love me? 402 00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:29,577 This is my wife Renée. 403 00:50:33,820 --> 00:50:36,494 Excuse me, but I have forgotten your name. 404 00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:00,499 Andrew? 405 00:51:08,220 --> 00:51:10,097 Hello. -Steven. 406 00:51:10,260 --> 00:51:14,697 I didn't mean to scare you. The door was open. We were worried. 407 00:51:15,900 --> 00:51:19,973 Jill has been calling you all day. - I was shopping. 408 00:51:21,060 --> 00:51:27,056 I didn't want to be home alone after that fight. - Let's turn on the light. 409 00:51:27,700 --> 00:51:29,099 Good? 410 00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:38,854 How nice of you. 411 00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:47,258 It's already a lot better this way. What are you doing now? 412 00:51:47,420 --> 00:51:50,060 Thank you. - You don't have to. 413 00:51:50,220 --> 00:51:53,133 I would like it. - No, don't. 414 00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:56,816 Nobody sees us. - Stop it, Sue. 415 00:51:56,980 --> 00:52:00,939 Keep your hands to yourself. - I thought you wanted to. 416 00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:04,138 What's happening here? - You need help. 417 00:52:05,940 --> 00:52:07,374 I can explain. 418 00:52:07,540 --> 00:52:11,056 He was so nice that I... - Stay away from me. 419 00:52:31,380 --> 00:52:32,973 DR ROBERT GARDEN ER ADDICTION THERAPIST 420 00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:39,219 TA RAISON D'ETRE CE N'EST QU'UN REVE 421 00:53:50,180 --> 00:53:52,012 When you're ready... 422 00:53:53,420 --> 00:53:56,731 ,..I would like to know what I can help you with. 423 00:54:08,220 --> 00:54:09,938 Maybe you can write it down. 424 00:54:37,820 --> 00:54:39,458 HELP ME 425 00:55:04,820 --> 00:55:08,575 I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU 426 00:55:28,860 --> 00:55:30,419 There were... 427 00:55:32,300 --> 00:55:33,893 ...hundreds. 428 00:55:35,380 --> 00:55:37,690 And when I'm with them, I think... 429 00:55:38,940 --> 00:55:40,738 ...maybe this time. 430 00:55:54,100 --> 00:55:55,693 This time? 431 00:55:58,860 --> 00:56:01,010 This time I feel... 432 00:56:02,180 --> 00:56:03,534 ...good... 433 00:56:04,460 --> 00:56:05,814 ...very... 434 00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:07,334 Loved. 435 00:56:11,260 --> 00:56:12,978 ...and good. 436 00:56:14,780 --> 00:56:18,171 Like a good girl. 437 00:56:18,340 --> 00:56:20,092 Suzie the good girl. 438 00:56:21,500 --> 00:56:24,333 But every time I feel... 439 00:56:25,540 --> 00:56:28,931 ...worse. And after that... 440 00:56:30,380 --> 00:56:32,576 ...I need it even more. 441 00:56:34,740 --> 00:56:36,936 Who was your first sex partner? 442 00:56:40,780 --> 00:56:42,418 I don't remember that. 443 00:56:45,460 --> 00:56:47,576 This is important, Sue. 444 00:56:52,460 --> 00:56:53,814 You have to trust me. 445 00:56:57,060 --> 00:57:04,251 It's time to go. - You have twelve minutes left. 446 00:57:14,540 --> 00:57:16,292 Lies. 447 00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:20,178 All lies. - Who? 448 00:57:20,340 --> 00:57:23,537 He never loved me. - Who are you talking about? 449 00:57:23,700 --> 00:57:25,930 He called me princess. 450 00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:31,457 The first time he gave me his red scarf... 451 00:57:33,020 --> 00:57:34,579 ...to keep me warm, he said. 452 00:57:36,180 --> 00:57:37,853 He wrapped it around me. 453 00:57:40,220 --> 00:57:41,699 I was naked. 454 00:57:45,340 --> 00:57:48,571 He said I was his real wife. 455 00:57:54,340 --> 00:57:56,775 I love you, daddy. 456 00:57:58,100 --> 00:58:01,013 I had to tell him that. 457 00:58:06,300 --> 00:58:08,211 Then he said: 458 00:58:10,020 --> 00:58:12,250 My princess. 459 00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:17,218 Your father... 460 00:58:18,820 --> 00:58:21,130 ...had sex with you? 461 00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:30,811 How old were you when he started doing it? 462 00:58:33,220 --> 00:58:34,654 Five. 463 00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,891 I was five years old. 464 00:58:44,060 --> 00:58:46,654 I wanted to be a good girl. 465 00:58:48,380 --> 00:58:50,815 I wanted him to love me. 466 00:58:57,180 --> 00:58:58,898 That wasn't love. 467 00:59:00,620 --> 00:59:03,612 Your father has your reality turned upside down. 468 00:59:17,540 --> 00:59:19,816 What you do with those men is not love. 469 00:59:19,980 --> 00:59:24,372 It's the opposite. It's self-loathing disguised as love. 470 00:59:25,180 --> 00:59:26,853 The more you do it... 471 00:59:27,020 --> 00:59:30,331 ..the greater your self-loathing becomes, the more sex you need…. 472 00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:33,970 ...to not have to feel anything. That's how an addict thinks. 473 00:59:40,940 --> 00:59:43,011 Do you want to get better? - Naturally. 474 00:59:43,180 --> 00:59:46,252 Then stop having bad sex... - I can't. 475 00:59:48,820 --> 00:59:50,174 Why? 476 00:59:55,340 --> 00:59:56,694 Why? 477 01:00:00,900 --> 01:00:04,575 Breathe well. Let your words flow out. 478 01:00:06,780 --> 01:00:08,179 Sue... 479 01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:12,059 ...why? 480 01:00:16,620 --> 01:00:18,293 Without... 481 01:00:22,380 --> 01:00:24,212 "No one would see me... 482 01:00:25,460 --> 01:00:27,371 ...or worse yet... 483 01:00:27,540 --> 01:00:29,451 ...then I wouldn't be there. 484 01:00:32,340 --> 01:00:35,935 You're looking at it all wrong. - I can't do anything else. 485 01:00:51,060 --> 01:00:57,215 Are you still sleeping with Rick? 486 01:01:10,380 --> 01:01:11,859 You are addicted. 487 01:01:14,540 --> 01:01:18,090 Unless you sober up, I can't treat you. 488 01:01:21,100 --> 01:01:23,455 Then you don't have to come here. 489 01:01:25,420 --> 01:01:27,297 The choice is yours. 490 01:01:50,820 --> 01:01:53,016 There are things you don't know. 491 01:01:54,620 --> 01:01:56,497 About me. 492 01:01:58,300 --> 01:02:00,416 Of a whole life. 493 01:02:03,100 --> 01:02:06,013 To be honest, I'd rather not know. 494 01:02:08,980 --> 01:02:12,860 Robert says I have to go to the clinic to be able to recover. 495 01:02:14,060 --> 01:02:16,734 So I'm leaving. 496 01:02:21,460 --> 01:02:23,849 You left a long time ago. 497 01:02:24,860 --> 01:02:26,419 Both of us. 498 01:02:33,860 --> 01:02:35,976 I'm getting better again. 499 01:02:40,060 --> 01:02:41,937 I don't really care about that anymore. 500 01:03:04,540 --> 01:03:09,137 Don't take deodorant, pills, vitamins or aspirin. 501 01:03:11,220 --> 01:03:17,535 Also no cigarettes, tights, lingerie, sexy clothing or thongs. 502 01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:23,539 One more for the road. - Stop it. 503 01:03:24,980 --> 01:03:28,769 Lets every next 28 days to get through. 504 01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:44,756 The next 28 days you are never alone. 505 01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:47,912 You are not allowed to masturbate overeating or vomiting. 506 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:51,118 Telephoning is only allowed in the presence of someone of staff. 507 01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:53,920 Violation leads to dismissal. 508 01:03:56,160 --> 01:04:00,074 When was the last time you ate? - I try to avoid that. 509 01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,073 When was the last time you had intercourse? 510 01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:05,151 What do you mean by that? 511 01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,397 What is this? - To hang me with. 512 01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:02,872 Gabriel is a nursing assistant, so no off limits. 513 01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:07,955 Just keep your eyes peeled. 514 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:13,359 I'm Sue. 515 01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:19,593 How long have you been here? 516 01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:25,833 Three days. If I had known that here If it were only women, I wouldn't have come. 517 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:30,870 So Gabriel is the only option here everyone is on their own. 518 01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:49,432 WHAT DO YOU SEE? 519 01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:51,557 DOES IT 'HUR' HERE? DOES IT HURT 'HERE'? 520 01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:55,431 THERE IS NOTHING THERE FOR YOU 521 01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:11,070 An addict needs his words replaced by healthy words. 522 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:13,709 The words are your salvation. 523 01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:16,440 Addiction is all about numbness and control. 524 01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:21,436 Addicts drink or have sex not to feel and control their pain. 525 01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:25,753 But if you write about your pain and confronts... 526 01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:31,950 ...you eventually discover that the pain is not fatal, but the addiction is. 527 01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,392 You shouldn't believe any of it. 528 01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,874 I don't think they even read it. 529 01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,112 So you might as well leave unwritten. 530 01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:27,680 Or writing porn, they know a lot. 531 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:40,470 Love is a word that you also use soberly must learn. As well as the word I. 532 01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,598 No is also a word must learn soberly. 533 01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:49,358 The addict in you stole them. Until you take them back, he's in charge. 534 01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:54,313 Who are you sober? What do you say, what do you look like? 535 01:07:54,480 --> 01:08:00,999 Show me who you are. - You can do it, Sue. 536 01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:03,434 There's nothing to see. 537 01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:10,158 Of course you do, you have green shorts, purple blouse, blond hair, blue eyes… 538 01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:11,674 This is what I look like. 539 01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:16,319 Empty. 540 01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:19,677 You have a full mouth. And your nose…. 541 01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:22,354 ...your nose... - Liar. 542 01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:26,593 There's nothing to see on me. You're a liar. 543 01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:34,915 I didn't say it was easy. 544 01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,276 The addict in each of you... 545 01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:40,956 ...fighting for his life against the fragile, fearful... 546 01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:44,272 ...healthy person who feels tried to manifest. 547 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:49,676 If the healthy person wants to live, then the addict must die. 548 01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:39,629 I suspect that all my life is a mistake. 549 01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,752 You are hurt, be patient with yourself. 550 01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:46,958 It's okay to be an amateur. 551 01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:49,474 You will get better. 552 01:09:50,040 --> 01:09:53,431 But I really believe…. 553 01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:57,673 ...that no one will ever love me or will like me... 554 01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:59,239 ...if I don't have sex with him. 555 01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,394 I like you. - You don't count. 556 01:10:03,560 --> 01:10:05,392 You are thanked. 557 01:10:09,680 --> 01:10:11,034 What if you're wrong? 558 01:10:13,640 --> 01:10:18,669 You have to believe in something bigger then your doubt. A higher power. 559 01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,753 Have we now reached the clichés? 560 01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:25,595 I'm not even religious. 561 01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:29,879 When you write, come true your thoughts come from? 562 01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:34,477 Alsje tenderness and forgiveness prefers violence... 563 01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:37,029 ...where does that come from? 564 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,640 That is your higher power. 565 01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:44,350 It needs no name or religion. It's about trust... 566 01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:48,639 ...that there is something decent to the human condition. 567 01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,189 I'm tired of me to be ashamed of sex. 568 01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,920 Don't let yourself go like that, Karen. 569 01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:57,596 Should I let myself go? - Stop that now. 570 01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:02,116 Maybe you have this behavior learned at home, but here...... 571 01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:05,989 ...we can do it differently learn to get along with each other. 572 01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:11,479 What's happening to you I don't care one bit. 573 01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:22,876 What should I do if I can't forgive something? 574 01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:24,394 Never, ever. 575 01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:31,551 Forgive yourself for not being able to do it. 576 01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:34,360 Forgiveness leads to more forgiveness. 577 01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:15,039 I want to borrow some tape. - For what? 578 01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,157 What do you mean, is it dangerous? 579 01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:21,999 I want to fix something. I'll bring it back. 580 01:13:24,960 --> 01:13:29,875 Mom, with me. - Get the other phone, it's Sue. 581 01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:33,556 We were worried. Andrew said you were gone. 582 01:13:34,320 --> 01:13:36,231 How is my princess? 583 01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:41,471 I wanted to let you know… 584 01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:44,072 ...that I'm in a clinic. 585 01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:49,872 A clinic? - My therapist said... 586 01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:55,390 ...that I'm getting better. 587 01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:59,315 How do you know that therapist? know what he is doing? 588 01:13:59,480 --> 01:14:02,677 He doesn't know anything about you. - Yes. 589 01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:05,512 He knows everything. 590 01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,394 A clinic. What kind of people go there? 591 01:14:13,040 --> 01:14:14,758 People like me. 592 01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:19,153 I don't want to hear anything more about it. A clinic. 593 01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:26,875 It seemed like a good idea to him to talk to everyone... 594 01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:29,951 ...in a family session. 595 01:14:32,280 --> 01:14:34,112 It needs salt. 596 01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:37,397 It needs salt, Fay. 597 01:14:38,800 --> 01:14:43,920 Your father needs salt. We'll still talk about it. 598 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:53,474 Okay, Mom. 599 01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:04,550 MEDICAL CLINIC 600 01:15:11,960 --> 01:15:13,473 Don't say anything. 601 01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:17,110 That's not necessary. We don't need words. 602 01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:22,590 I want to show you love. 603 01:15:23,280 --> 01:15:27,319 I will teach you and I want you to teach me… 604 01:15:28,440 --> 01:15:30,954 ...tomorrow night at midnight. 605 01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:36,592 The room number is on the key. 606 01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:42,435 Don't worry. It's safe. No one will find us there. 607 01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:50,629 You don't know how special you are. 608 01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,113 I want to show you that. 609 01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:32,914 At midnight. 610 01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:38,593 I want to show you love. 611 01:16:45,280 --> 01:16:50,036 You make up those men yourself. You close gives them power they do not possess. 612 01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:54,159 The addict in you thinks that those men can heal you... 613 01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:56,436 ...you feel good about yourself can deliver. 614 01:16:56,600 --> 01:16:58,557 Think about that for a moment. 615 01:16:58,720 --> 01:17:02,679 How can someone else do you any good? make you feel about yourself? 616 01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:06,231 Only you have the power to do that. 617 01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:09,392 Are you okay, Sue? 618 01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:13,319 Certainly. Fine. 619 01:17:13,480 --> 01:17:15,835 I have a confession to make. 620 01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:20,039 I don't really like sex. - Most sex addicts don't. 621 01:17:20,200 --> 01:17:22,589 They love power that sex gives them. 622 01:17:23,880 --> 01:17:30,320 In fact, we are all powerless in the stormy, chaotic world. 623 01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:34,838 Sometimes we seem to be in pain to become buried with life. 624 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:40,598 But a sex addict twists reality so that those men... 625 01:17:40,760 --> 01:17:45,470 ...become powerful superheroes who can save you. 626 01:17:46,240 --> 01:17:49,596 So powerful that they create chaos can control. 627 01:18:57,840 --> 01:19:00,229 I keep thinking about you. 628 01:19:00,400 --> 01:19:06,476 I talk about so many nice things fantasized with you. 629 01:19:07,840 --> 01:19:11,196 You are so beautiful. 630 01:19:12,640 --> 01:19:14,199 Come. 631 01:19:27,160 --> 01:19:29,151 This isn't about the sex. 632 01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:52,871 What? - No. 633 01:19:53,840 --> 01:19:57,356 I said no. - Come on, Sue. 634 01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:20,950 Words save us. They give us power because they make us feel. 635 01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:25,990 They bind us to our own truth, and of all the words I learned then... 636 01:20:26,160 --> 01:20:29,118 ...that seemed the strangest thing to me. 637 01:20:29,280 --> 01:20:33,638 No means I'm alive, too without a man lusting after me. 638 01:20:34,840 --> 01:20:38,037 No means I exist. 639 01:20:40,440 --> 01:20:43,592 Words took me back to my memories. 640 01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:46,639 They have shown me truths that I didn't see before. 641 01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:49,633 LOVE IS HERE EVERY DAY 642 01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:53,839 Rewriting our history is not possible, but finding out the truth is. 643 01:20:54,960 --> 01:20:58,840 We can find respect in that, and through respect strength. 644 01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:04,640 Robert says: Once an addict, always an addict. 645 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:08,509 The only thing that changes has to do with the word healing. 646 01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:18,391 It's a new word to me, and I have to learn it again every day. 647 01:21:37,080 --> 01:21:39,071 Robert, it's me. 648 01:21:40,080 --> 01:21:42,913 I need some help. 649 01:21:44,040 --> 01:21:45,872 I don't want to disturb you. 650 01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:50,675 I know. You will always be there for me. 651 01:21:53,360 --> 01:21:57,831 I'm standing on the boardwalk where I always am went when I wanted to feel loved. 652 01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:00,196 I'm wearing my secret clothes. 653 01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:05,154 My sexy clothes. Those clothes are my armor. 654 01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:10,156 I feel seductive in that and I feel invincible. 655 01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:14,791 I am standing next to you in the photo a wall with graffiti. 656 01:22:14,960 --> 01:22:20,638 It read: Love is here every day. Perfect, because at the time there was… 657 01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:26,557 ...the place where I found love, a bar or a motel or a boardwalk... 658 01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:29,155 ...or true men also hit on me. 659 01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:33,632 When I look at that photo now, I don't see an invincible person... 660 01:22:33,800 --> 01:22:36,394 ...just an anxious girl. 661 01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:39,840 I want to hold her hand... 662 01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:43,675 ...and tell her it's okay that we get better. 663 01:22:44,720 --> 01:22:50,477 All my life I have been desperate for love searched without knowing how or where. 664 01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:53,951 Now I'm learning that, day by day. 665 01:22:54,120 --> 01:22:56,919 And to that scared girl I want to say... 666 01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:01,231 ...that love is where we are create a life for ourselves. 667 01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:22,830 1 IN 4 GIRLS IN THE US 668 01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:27,153 BEFORE HER 18TH birthday SEXUALLY ABUSED. 669 01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:32,714 THERE ARE TONS OF FREE ones TWELVE-STEP PROGRAMS 670 01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:36,589 FOR SEX ADDICTS. 671 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:40,638 Translation: The Site