1 00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,313 I don't know. 2 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:04,571 I know, it all look so good. 3 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,793 Have we decided what we'd like to order? 4 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,272 Yeah, what's the catch of the day? 5 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:09,442 Oh we have two options today, 6 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:12,187 we have a seaweed encrusted Nestle bottle 7 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,319 with a side of Ziploc sandwich bags. 8 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,411 Okay. 9 00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,279 Or we have a delicious 6-pack of plastic rings, 10 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,371 dusted with petroleum sea salt, 11 00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,280 and paired with an empty container 12 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,535 of vanilla full fat yogurt. 13 00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:23,327 [in unison] Oooh. 14 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:24,761 They both sound delicious. 15 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,327 You know what, I can't pass up some plastic rings. 16 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:27,814 I'm going to have that, 17 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,513 but could I have it with a side of microbeads please. 18 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:32,471 Oh, well in that case I'm going to get the Nestle bottle, 19 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,300 but maybe we'll start with some tampon applicators? 20 00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:36,209 Oooh. -For the table? 21 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,083 Yeah let's share. -Okay. Just great. 22 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,255 You read my mind. 23 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:45,215 Oooh, excuse me, it looks so good. 24 00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,222 ["Dancing Underwater" by Brave Shores] 25 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:50,494 ♪ Me and my friends will spike the punch 26 00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:52,618 ♪ Rolling in the party we'll start the fun 27 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,231 ♪ Get fancy 28 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,322 ♪ Hey Hey 29 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,020 ♪ There's no clouds its just the sun 30 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,059 ♪ Living in times that are meant for fun, yeah 31 00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:08,202 ♪ Hold your breath a little longer 32 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:11,162 ♪ Let's go dancing underwater 33 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:14,071 ♪ Oh, oh, oh oh 34 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:18,172 I mean, the sweat suit in day to day wear every- 35 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,208 Oh, what's going on Larry? 36 00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,303 Yeah, you look totally freaked out? 37 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:22,041 Yeah the strangest thing just happened. 38 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,262 I opened my email to a couple of messages from clients 39 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:28,392 [dramatic instrumental]both explaining my job to me like I'm an idiot, 40 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,176 turns out my computer had auto-corrected my name 41 00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,350 from Larry to Laura, 42 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,786 that's why they were talking down to me. 43 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,753 They thought I was a woman. 44 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:39,362 Yeah, that's totally normal.-Yeah, yeah normally happens to us every day. 45 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:42,413 It's not like weird at all for us. 46 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,280 It's pretty normal to have our jobs explained to us. 47 00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:52,291 [dramatic instrumental] 48 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:55,119 It's like, there's a world for men, 49 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:59,338 but then there's like this upside down world for women, 50 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,862 That's so unfair. 51 00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,855 Yeah, it's literally what we've been saying for years and years. 52 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,867 It's pretty normal for us. 53 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:09,779 [dramatic instrumental] 54 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,695 You know, it would have taken me twenty minutes at least 55 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,310 to dress that deer, 56 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,400 and I only had a few calories left--Whoa. 57 00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,348 and I was like I have to get back to the cabin- 58 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,227 I cannot believe 59 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:22,658 that so many women are still using the hashtag metoo. 60 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,407 Well yes. -Oh you just noticed that. 61 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,748 Oh wow, that's interesting. 62 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:27,447 I mean, we're not talking about a couple of women, 63 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,445 we're talking about millions. 64 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:33,717 There's a lot of women on the planet.-Yeah that's kind of how life is for a lot of the people- 65 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,462 [dramatic instrumental]Wait a minute, 66 00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:38,423 that means that almost every woman 67 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:42,422 has experienced harassment 68 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,376 because she's a woman. 69 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:47,075 That is incredible insight.-Wow, you really cracked the case there. 70 00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,913 We're going to tweet about this, that's what we're going to do. 71 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,341 Jennifer: Oh, okay, well. 72 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,647 You know, it's funny I never thought about trying to change- 73 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,483 Think about changing anything. -Yeah, he's sending a message. 74 00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,442 [phone chiming]And fixed it. 75 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,700 [dramatic instrumental] 76 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:02,754 I was like Larry, he's just, he's such a nice guy, 77 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,361 I just thought, oh, he'll be more empathetic, 78 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:09,412 just, gosh, this is so disappointing, you know, 79 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:12,280 when someone's privilege stops them from understanding 80 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,462 the struggle that you've been living with for years. 81 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:17,498 Yeah, no idea what that's like.-That must be really hard for you. 82 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:18,975 You must be struggling. 83 00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:21,244 Open your eyes, am I right? 84 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,458 See other people. 85 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,856 Yeah. -Really. 86 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,939 Other people have different experiences than you.-Right? 87 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,028 Exactly. 88 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,296 Imagine what it would be like to be different. 89 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,038 Yeah, tell it, sis. -Yeah. I can't, okay. 90 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,520 Yeah you can't. -Great chats. 91 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,560 Husband: Husband and wife. 92 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:35,224 Wife: Yeah, can you put me down, 93 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,128 you're going to smack on my elbows. 94 00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,172 I'm carrying you over the threshold. 95 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,437 I see the struggle in your face. 96 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,129 I love you. -I love you, you're so sweet. 97 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,916 Can we shut the door, don't- 98 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,220 I'll get it with my foot and done.-I missed it. I missed. I got it. 99 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,487 This is sexy, right? -Just put me down. 100 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,009 Don't throw me on the bed! Don't throw me on the bed! 101 00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,319 Wife: Oh, god! 102 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,450 Are you okay? 103 00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:53,492 Go take your shoes off. - Okay, I will. 104 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,672 Husband: I'm going to get so naked for you. 105 00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,283 Wife: I haven't seen that in seven years. 106 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,204 Oh god, do I have something in my nose? 107 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,239 Yeah. 108 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,373 Did I get it? Is it out? 109 00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,285 Nope. -Why is that taking so long? 110 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,939 It's double knotted. 111 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,292 Push on me.-You pull from the bottom, and I'll push from the top. 112 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,643 It's almost there, 113 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,772 pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull! 114 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:10,994 Yes! - Yes! 115 00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,991 Okay, next one. 116 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,726 Rodney, I've got a little treat for you. 117 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,168 What? -What have you always wanted? 118 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,434 For you to be nicer? 119 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,126 Talking dirty.-Talking dirty, that's what I want. 120 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:22,133 I'm nervous. 121 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,524 I love you. 122 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,867 Okay here we go, you're my n-naughty husband. 123 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:26,877 Yeah. 124 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,178 And I'm gonna... 125 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,489 I have a lot of pins in my hair. 126 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:31,531 Okay, Mom. 127 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:32,915 Oh there's so many in here. 128 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,098 He's here, say hello. 129 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:35,323 Hi. 130 00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:37,232 Okay, Mom we're trying to have sex, 131 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,447 okay, bye. 132 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,145 Ready for a little striptease? 133 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,632 Oh, yes I am. 134 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,502 Can you give me some beats? 135 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:44,984 And what do you feel like, country or like- 136 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,163 Just, let's stop the strip 'til the pantyhose are off. 137 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,419 Can you help me? 138 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:49,462 I'm wearing Spanx, don't look. 139 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,156 I've seen everything before. 140 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,213 I need to get out of the dress, just help me with the dress. 141 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,559 Okay, huh, huh, huh. 142 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:56,859 I lost another nail. - It's tighter- 143 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:57,855 I lost another nail. -It's tighter than it looks. 144 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,166 It's coming I think. -I feel like it is coming. 145 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:00,211 It's moving. 146 00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,516 I love my wife, I love- 147 00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:04,002 Oh love, I have to pee. -Okay. 148 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,042 I'm still horny. 149 00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:06,918 Husband: Me too! 150 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,086 This is working. 151 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,274 I feel like we're close. - Mhm. 152 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,270 Do you want to flip me over? 153 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:15,621 Yes, okay, oh, it's one, two, three. 154 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,543 Oh my gosh, your Uncle Jeff just gave us 300 dollars. 155 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:21,579 [gasps] Uncle Jeff, yes! 156 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,975 Yes. Nice! Did you want a chip? 157 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:24,979 Yeah. 158 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,073 Read to me. 159 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,719 Read them out loud. 160 00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:31,243 Okay. Just like, swallow your chip before you start again.-Okay. 161 00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:35,027 Your bond in marriage is a precious gift from God, ew. 162 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,512 I love you. -I love you. 163 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,469 You're my husband. -And you're my wife. 164 00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,517 [in funny voice] So exciting. -You're so nice. 165 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:52,400 I just feel like it's not going to happen. 166 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,829 Not going to happen tonight. -No. 167 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,045 No. 168 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,143 [in unison] Thelma and Louise road trip, woohoo! 169 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:59,102 Yes, okay, all right. -Okay. 170 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,581 Bags packed, check. 171 00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,671 Okay good, full tank of gas, check. 172 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,150 Cooler full of beer, check. 173 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,669 Easy access snacks, check. 174 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,023 Feminine products, check. 175 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,892 Twizzlers for when you get angry, check. 176 00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,203 Vibrator, check. 177 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,149 Two pairs of sunglasses, check. 178 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,806 Mixed tape for later, check. 179 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,720 Back up music 'cause your mixes are bad, check. 180 00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:15,715 Fully charged cell phone, check. 181 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:16,676 Two chocolate puddings, check. 182 00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,204 Flask for later, check. 183 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:19,157 Did we lock the house? -Check. 184 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,514 Windows closed? -Check. 185 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:21,514 Made the bed? -Check. 186 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:22,465 Floor washed? -Check. 187 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,772 Cat fed? -Check. 188 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,648 Extra cat food in the bowl? -Check. 189 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:26,779 GPS system. -Check. 190 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,001 Sleeping bags in the trunk, check. 191 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,779 Ask the neighbours to pick up the mail, check. 192 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,574 Left an office reply on, check. 193 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,388 Joints for later. [in unison] Check. 194 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,310 Do you want to just hot box the car?-Hang out in the car? 195 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,834 Yeah let's hot box the car. 196 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,787 I mean, a road trip would have been fun but- 197 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,706 I'm just going to get these open and- 198 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,191 Let's just admit who we are. 199 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,100 Yeah. Exactly. 200 00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,755 I'm just amazed that I have to point it out. 201 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,980 I know, it is surprising. -Yes. 202 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,929 But you'd be surprised what comes across our- 203 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,147 Hi. -Hello. 204 00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:56,196 You wanted to see me? -Yes Paula, please sit down. 205 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,111 Okay. 206 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:02,550 Linda: So I have asked Calinda from legal to join us. 207 00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:03,806 Hello. 208 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,028 Am I in trouble? 209 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:06,987 Um... 210 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,608 It's about your scrunchie. 211 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:12,608 [scoffs] My scrunchie? 212 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:13,909 What were you thinking? 213 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,995 Paula: I wasn't really thinking, I mean, it's comfy. 214 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,654 Linda: God, so is underwear with shit stains on it, 215 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,048 we don't all wear those to work- 216 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,050 I'm sorry. 217 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,401 Oh, oh okay, I think I can clear this up. 218 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,012 Scrunchies are back in style. 219 00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,842 Legally speaking scrunchies were never in style.-Yeah, no. 220 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,230 Actually, they're called hair clouds now. 221 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,843 [gagging] -That's not helping. 222 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,634 Okay, listen Patty. -Paula. 223 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,889 Paula, HR has received a number of complaints, 224 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,463 and your 225 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,810 scrunchie is triggering the rest of the office.-Yes. 226 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,030 Okay, the rest of the office or just Linda, 227 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,289 'cause, you know, Linda's triggered by a lot of stuff. 228 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:46,032 We are not free to discuss or share who was triggered, 229 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,254 but rest assured more than one person was. 230 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,513 It wasn't just Linda. -It wasn't just Linda. 231 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:53,167 Okay, well I just wonder how anyone, 232 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,171 including Linda, 233 00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,742 could be triggered by this. 234 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:59,170 I mean, it's a piece of elastic with fabric around it. 235 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,307 It's a peachy abomination! 236 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,699 Mon-i-ca. 237 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,312 I'm so sorry. 238 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:06,182 Calinda: Okay, Penny. 239 00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,494 Paula. - Paula. 240 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,876 It's your level of judgement that we're concerned about.-Yes. 241 00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,666 I mean, today you're wearing a scrunchie, 242 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,800 tomorrow you're wearing a Von Dutch hat 243 00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,502 and sweat pants with writing on the butt. 244 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,629 I'm not a bad person. 245 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,631 Legally you are if you have writing on your butt. 246 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:23,243 Linda: Paula, I think you know what has to happen now. 247 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:27,115 [sighs] Okay, I'm sorry 248 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:31,248 that my scrunchie was triggering to people in the office. 249 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,253 Thank you. -Stop it. 250 00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,304 And I will remove it. 251 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,209 Thank you. - Thank you. 252 00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,473 That's it. 253 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:41,476 [sensual instrumental] 254 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:47,051 ♪ 255 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,791 Whoa your hair. 256 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,841 I'm sorry, it's incredible, it's really something else. 257 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:52,839 Linda: It's so good. 258 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,230 Calinda: It's so good. -It's so good. 259 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,882 It's so very, very good. -Can you just-can you just? 260 00:08:55,926 --> 00:09:00,186 Yeah. -Oh my oh my, hello! 261 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,315 Yes! 262 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:02,666 It's a lot to take in. 263 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:03,796 Paula: Guys, you can have this hair too, 264 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:04,807 it's actually the scrunchie. 265 00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:05,978 I saw this Youtube tutorial, 266 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,723 if you put one in when your hair is damp, 267 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:08,854 when you take it out, it looks like this. 268 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:09,586 Calinda: Really? -Yeah. 269 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,416 Oh another little tip for ya, 270 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:12,863 when you're done, 271 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,160 if you put the scrunchie on your wrist like this- 272 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,595 No, no! -Ugh. 273 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,032 Good lord, 274 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,778 you look like a clown in a sleeveless shirt, my eyes! 275 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,740 Linda: It's not cool, you are fired, 276 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:22,778 you are fired. -Really? 277 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:23,693 Yes. -Yeah, get out of here. 278 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:24,827 Get out. 279 00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:25,648 Calinda: You need to take that off your wrist 280 00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,175 before the rest of the office sees. 281 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,178 Linda is going to freak- 282 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,129 Ahhhhhhhh! Look at it. 283 00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,567 Ahhhhhhhh! 284 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,916 Ahhhhhhhh! 285 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,794 It's like the devil's cervix! 286 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:40,097 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 287 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,977 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 288 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,894 And now there's just one more store 289 00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:48,845 I'm not allowed to go into. 290 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:49,762 No at all. 291 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,366 Yeah, isn't that crazy? -Mm. 292 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,896 Hey, are you okay? -Hm? 293 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,160 Yeah, yeah I'm okay, I just, 294 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,422 I'm feeling like, uh, just a bit hot, 295 00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:57,855 is it hot in here? 296 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:58,901 No, I'm perfect. 297 00:09:58,946 --> 00:09:59,636 Really? In that turtleneck? 298 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,246 I'm actually a little chilly. 299 00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:04,426 Wow. Maybe I'm coming down with something and I just, uh- 300 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,913 Maybe it's perimenopause. 301 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,394 [dramatic chords] You think? 302 00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:09,703 I don't know, is it? 303 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,309 I don't know, is it? [suspenseful instrumental] 304 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:12,349 Uh... 305 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,444 No. -No. 306 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,142 I still wear a jean jacket. -Yeah. 307 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,659 I still drink out of a mason jar. 308 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,443 But you're hot for no reason, so is it? 309 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,268 Is it? -Is it? 310 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:22,396 No. 311 00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:23,617 Maybe? 312 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:24,706 Fuck. 313 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,284 Have you read this? 314 00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:29,149 Ah, I don't know, I, I can't remember. 315 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:31,849 You can't remember? 316 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:34,072 It's a whole book, how can you not remember reading a book? 317 00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:37,941 Oh, unless it's perimenopause, is it? 318 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,553 No, is it? 319 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,676 I mean, it can't be. -No it can't be- 320 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:42,988 But is it? -Is it? 321 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:45,043 I don't know, I-I still get acne. I- 322 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,429 Yeah. -I have a snowboard. 323 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,471 It can't be. 324 00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:48,426 No. -There's no way. 325 00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:49,473 No it's not. 326 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:50,478 [in unison] Is it? 327 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,259 [lively instrumental] 328 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,043 Hey. -Hi. 329 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,790 Oh, those are super cute sunglasses. 330 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:56,869 Are they? -Yeah they are really- 331 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,697 Ah! Jesus! 332 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,355 Well I don't even know why I did that. 333 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:01,788 Sorry. 334 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,225 Oh, is it perimenopause? 335 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:04,931 No. 336 00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:07,578 [in unison] Is it? 337 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:08,803 Is it perimenopause? 338 00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:09,842 I don't know. 339 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,626 Do you have more underarm hair? 340 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,591 My armpit hair got a lot thicker. 341 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,279 Or was that on my chin? 342 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,756 Oh god. 343 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:17,756 Is it perimenopause? 344 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:18,717 I don't know. 345 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,765 Well you should know, you're my mother. 346 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,249 I think it is. 347 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,639 It is? -Is it? 348 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,252 I'm the baby of the family though. 349 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,082 You are? -Am I? 350 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,340 Oh, sweetie. 351 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,602 Mommy. 352 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:29,654 Have you talked to a doctor? 353 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,649 I can't sleep. 354 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,650 I-I'm hot all the time. 355 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,002 My moods are up and down. 356 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,911 I like, burst into tears for absolutely no reason, 357 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:39,827 like is it, um, is it perimenopause? 358 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:42,613 Oh, I don't know, is it? 359 00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,618 What do you mean? You're- 360 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:44,879 you're my doctor. What- 361 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,051 Oh it could be, 362 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:47,656 there's not really much research. 363 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,877 I mean, who really cares, right? 364 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,886 But the one thing we do know is 365 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,498 that it can last up to ten years. 366 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,148 Ten years? 367 00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,152 Or more. 368 00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,153 What? 369 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,074 Or less. 370 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,408 I don't know what else to tell ya. 371 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,497 I-I don't know, 372 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:01,845 how 'bout like maybe you just tell me 373 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,195 what's going on with my body, 374 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:06,944 like, anything, is that-is that too unreasonable a request? 375 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,897 Yes, it is, definitely. 376 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,209 Hello everybody. 377 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:18,484 Welcome, very excited to have you here. 378 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,040 Ah, yes, before we dive in, 379 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:21,647 the creative writing faculty 380 00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:25,657 has asked me to clear up a pressing issue from last term. 381 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,661 Due to a frankly 382 00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:30,923 unbelievable surplus we will no longer be accepting 383 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,797 short stories about any of the following: 384 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,320 divorce, ships, 385 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,843 wealthy young people suffering from unexplained malaise, 386 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:38,977 extramarital affairs, 387 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,329 Joseph Campbell as his own narrator, 388 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,539 the concept of time 389 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,197 as it relates to being a bored male poet, 390 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,811 anachronistically working in a video rental store, 391 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,033 being a writer, 392 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,291 loveless marriage, 393 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,773 or grad school. 394 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,823 Okay? 395 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,639 [murmuring] 396 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:58,646 You can of course, you know, write about any other subject. 397 00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:00,946 The world's your oyster. 398 00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,907 Nobody has any short stories 399 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:05,046 about literally any other subject? 400 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:06,998 Great. 401 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,964 Yes? - Hi, um, 402 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,266 does that also include stories of couples 403 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,052 staving off divorce when non-monogamy? 404 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,836 100% yes 405 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,011 Student: Oh. 406 00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,843 'Cause there's-there's nothing else, 407 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,017 no other genres? 408 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:23,849 Didn't realize that was such a, 409 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,980 you know, try sci-fi, 410 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:29,982 people poo-poo it, but it's pretty exciting. 411 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,846 I've written a collection of short stories. 412 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,808 But nobody's read that. 413 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,952 Okay, let's shake it off, 414 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:37,950 here's a fun game I love to play. 415 00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,301 Okay. All right. -Okay. 416 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,950 You can tell what people are binge watching 417 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,264 by what they're wearing. 418 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,909 Oh, interesting. -Check it out. 419 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,003 Okay, Nicole from HR, Game of Thrones. 420 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,302 Denise: Yes, winter is coming. 421 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,918 Carolyn: Elise from accounting, Handmaid's Tale. 422 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,049 Hm, possibly. 423 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,961 Delaney from shipping and receiving, 424 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,086 Orange is the New Black. 425 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:54,877 That's fabulous. 426 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,101 Alexia from marketing up there, 427 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,140 Grey's Anatomy. 428 00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:58,875 People still watch that? 429 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,965 Apparently, yeah. -Huh, okay. 430 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,934 And, uh, Tara just behind that bush, 431 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,102 Planet Earth. 432 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,187 Denise: Oh that's good. Yeah, wow. 433 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:08,716 I've never seen that show. 434 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,890 Um- -Don't make eye contact. 435 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:10,936 [growling] 436 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,500 She's got meat in her mouth. -No, stop looking at her. 437 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:13,637 I can't stop looking. 438 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:14,458 Denise, honestly, stop looking at her. 439 00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,895 I can't though 440 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:16,732 because she's got the meat hanging out of her mouth. 441 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,028 Carolyn: What are you doing? Avert your eyes. 442 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,294 I can't look away. I can't! 443 00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:22,116 Denise, I said avert your eyes! - I can't I just- 444 00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,115 [growling] Ah!! Ah!! 445 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,037 Oh my god. Oh my god! 446 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,521 This usually calms her down, 447 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:27,871 there you go, that calms her down. 448 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,090 That calms her down. Denise: Usually? 449 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,219 Carolyn: Yeah, there you go. 450 00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:32,050 And I didn't think I'd want to see Come From Away, 451 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,088 but it was really good. 452 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,353 Muriel: I thought it was so great. 453 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,045 I know, I just thought what is it the grammar, 454 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,052 I don't understand. 455 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,313 What does come from away mean? 456 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,175 I never go to see live theatre- 457 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:43,007 Oh, uh oh. Oh, I think they want us to go. 458 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,006 Carolyn: What, really? 459 00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,097 Oh, I'm sorry did you- 460 00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,146 Did you want us to, um, 461 00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,111 did you want us to leave? 462 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:51,059 Oh we're closing up so... 463 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,279 But no rush but- 464 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,497 Oh okay. -We'll be closing up. 465 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,625 Okay, thank you. 466 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,768 So? 467 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,459 She said, no rush, it's fine. 468 00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,157 Anyway, it was shocking to me that somebody wouldn't even- 469 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,985 Okay, okay that's the music. 470 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,213 [Stutters] That's a hint, they want us to get going, 471 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,173 so let's settle up, let's settle up. 472 00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:10,950 No, you're being paranoid, we're having fun, come on. 473 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,217 Excuse me, 474 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:13,999 my friend thinks you're trying to rush us out of here. 475 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,653 Really I-I don't know what would give you that idea. 476 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,048 Carolyn: That's so silly. 477 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:23,101 Do you think I could have a peek at the dessert menu? 478 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,494 You want me to ask the kitchen 479 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,363 if they're doing dessert at one in the morning? 480 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,194 Just want to take a peek at the menu. I mean I don't- 481 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,282 So I'll go. 482 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,240 Just a boo, just a quick boo, 483 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,369 I want to take a quick boo. 484 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,018 I mean, I did want another glass of wine, 485 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,675 but I'll have dessert and I'll move onto tea, 486 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,109 maybe a chamomile. 487 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,235 What? 488 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,027 No dessert, let's finish our drinks and then go. 489 00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,641 No, we're having so much fun. [vacuum whirring] 490 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:45,902 Muriel: Come on, they don't want us here. 491 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:46,895 No, of course they do, 492 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,076 it's the service industry, 493 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,301 they're here to serve us. 494 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,249 That feels unequal. - Does it? 495 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,518 And kind of classist frankly. 496 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,300 Classist, who are you? 497 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,914 The kitchen couldn't provide a dessert menu, 498 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,866 but I found this perfectly good cake 499 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,484 that they were about to throw out, 500 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:03,274 so I saved it for the two of you, free of charge. 501 00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,270 Oh, thank you. 502 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:05,701 Server: There you go. 503 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,272 Carolyn: Wow. 504 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:09,014 Okay, read that. 505 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,055 It's a joke, Muriel! 506 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,410 It's a joke, 507 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,279 look she brought it over, this is what kitchen people do. 508 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,321 It's not a joke. 509 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,105 Look, this is funny, this is funny. 510 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,370 I love it. -I think you're putting- 511 00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,202 We're going to give them a good 15%, okay? 512 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,020 I, listen, I'm so sorry, if there's anything we can do. 513 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,238 I just, what's happening? 514 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,066 Uh oh. 515 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:25,463 Oh my god, it's like a Greek wedding. 516 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,416 Oh put me down, put me down, put me down. 517 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,644 Carolyn: They're just vacuuming. 518 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:29,863 Okay, you know what? 519 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,431 [Stutters] I am so sorry, I'm not like her. 520 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,208 I was you. I was you, honestly I did this job. I'm sorry. 521 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,083 Take everything I have, just-just take-take- 522 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,734 What? Oh. Woohoo! 523 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,168 I'm just gonna leave that there for you. 524 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:40,004 Oh this is fun, I love this place. 525 00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:43,054 Do you make an Irish coffee? 526 00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:46,009 Actually, I'd love a tiramisu or like a dolce de leche. 527 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,183 This is fun, oh, you missed a spot. 528 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,323 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 529 00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:57,021 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 530 00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,414 Carolyn: Is it Jethro Tull or Jethro Tool? 531 00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,203 Do you guys know a guy named Paul Adams? 532 00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,148 Paul Adams. -Yeah, why? 533 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,106 Oh god, what did he do? 534 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,153 Oh was it bad? 535 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,328 Oh no, how bad was it? 536 00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:08,854 Like was it getting fired from his job bad, 537 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:10,807 or like don't talk to him at parties anymore bad? 538 00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,205 Jennifer: Oh, like deleting him on Facebook bad, 539 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,338 or blocking him on Facebook bad? 540 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,250 Carolyn: Was it like warn your friends quietly bad, 541 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,075 or like denounce him in a public statement? 542 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,213 Oh my god! 543 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,214 I went on two dates with him back in the day. 544 00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:21,206 I had no idea. 545 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,347 You just can't tell these days, 546 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:23,479 you just never know. 547 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,130 No, it's like every day is a fresh nightmare. 548 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,574 What is going on with men? 549 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,870 Guys, wow, chill. 550 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,217 I just was wondering 551 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,086 if you've rented his cottage out in the summer. 552 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,178 [in unison] Ooh. 553 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:34,916 Yeah, he does. -Oh that's fantastic. 554 00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,746 I mean, I'd never go there alone with everybody. 555 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,014 Oh no no no. -My god, no. 556 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,227 No. No. 557 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:43,185 [soft lively music] 558 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,926 Oh fuck, fuck. 559 00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:54,554 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 560 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:03,165 Fuck, oh fuck it, ow, fuck. 561 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:07,702 Just, ah fuuuuck! 562 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:10,438 Arrgggh, fuck. 563 00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,307 Ah, fuck! 564 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,753 What the fuck? 565 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,309 Ah fuck. 566 00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,176 Oh, fuuuck. 567 00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:22,276 Ow! Fuckety fuck fuck. -Oh fuck. 568 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,358 Oh fuck. 569 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,317 Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! 570 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:27,316 Ahhhhhhhh! 571 00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,757 Fuuuuuuck! 572 00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:29,983 [boom] 573 00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:35,293 Shit. 574 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,461 Oh. 575 00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,162 Yeah. 576 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:44,689 [suspenseful instrumental] [dispatch chatter] 577 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,302 You pulled me out of my kid's dance recital, 578 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,562 this better be worth it. 579 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:50,434 It is, but I got to warn you it's, uh, messy. 580 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,777 Forensics called in their spatter expert. 581 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,307 [sighs] Alright. -Yeah. 582 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:58,270 [suspenseful music] 583 00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:02,661 Ugh, my god. 584 00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:04,356 What kind of monster would do this? 585 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:07,194 [dramatic chords] 586 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,933 Spatter Expert: Judging by the angle 587 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,243 and the spray of the pattern, 588 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,459 who Jackson Pollock'd all over the toilet seat, 589 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,629 did a low squat. 590 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,594 The perp had to go real bad 591 00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,243 and didn't care about the next person 592 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,587 that had to use the stall. 593 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,936 Is there any chance it's spray back from the toilet flush? 594 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,676 [chuckles] Well, 595 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,597 that's what the victim's hoping. 596 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:28,860 It was pee. 597 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,347 I sat in a stranger's pee. [sobbing] 598 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,573 Alright, what do you think? 599 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:41,924 Does this match the other scenes? 600 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,623 Fits the profile. 601 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,490 So we're dealing with a serial pisser, damn it. 602 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,451 Alright, what's the profile on the perp so far? 603 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,320 Female, 15-65, probably white, 604 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,106 definitely entitled, 605 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,280 strong thighs, poor aim, 606 00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,935 powerful stream, 607 00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,329 and I'd say judging by the colour of the pee, 608 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:01,643 slightly dehydrated. 609 00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,418 Well in this city that could be anybody. 610 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:06,293 The good news is she's a creature of habit, so- 611 00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:07,725 She'll be back. -Mhm. 612 00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,031 Nice work, PSI. 613 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,252 There we go, we're doing really well at that. 614 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,297 Alright let's go! 615 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:18,521 [suspenseful instrumental] 616 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,125 Got a 20 on a possible suspect. 617 00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,125 Feet up everyone. Feet up! 618 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:23,569 Captain: We've got our sights on her. 619 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:24,793 She's in. 620 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:34,315 [streaming pee] [suspenseful music] 621 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:35,583 [toilet flushing] 622 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:36,365 Go go go go. 623 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:41,329 [suspenseful instrumental] 624 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:42,550 What's all this? 625 00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:44,069 Det. Hardcrack: Well well well. 626 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,512 What? 627 00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,548 Your days of pissing on toilet seats are over. 628 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,474 I didn't do anything wrong. 629 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,549 Toilet seats are filled with disease, what is it? 630 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,337 Who are these people? 631 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,030 Ah, you monster! 632 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,077 Put down paper or at least wipe up after yourself! 633 00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:57,433 You know, no one ever died from sitting on a toilet seat, 634 00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:58,473 nobody ever died! 635 00:20:58,518 --> 00:21:00,348 Captain: Hey hey, forget it Hardcrack, 636 00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,479 where she's going, 637 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:04,052 none of the toilets have seats. 638 00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:05,478 Are you serious? I'm going to jail for this? 639 00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:06,605 Let's move out!-Yeah but where are you taking me? 640 00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,046 Good work. 641 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,402 Do you know how many privacy laws you've just broken?