1 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:08,580 Meet the gang cause the boys are here, the boys to entertain you. 2 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:14,220 With music and laughter to help you on your way to raising the rafters with a 3 00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,220 hey, hey, hey. 4 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:21,280 With songs and sketches and jokes on a new, with us about you and Bill Blue. So 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:26,140 meet the gang cause the boys are here, the boys to entertain you. 6 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:32,020 B -O -B -O -Y -S, boys to entertain you. 7 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:45,380 Dear Mum, we left Rangoon at tea time and the boys are all very cheerful. 8 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,480 At last we're coming home. 9 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,060 There are 600 blokes on this boat and only three girls. 10 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,020 There's nothing much to do all day except lifeboat drill. 11 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:56,680 And watch the porpoises. 12 00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:04,220 We came through the Red Sea, which wasn't, and we passed the bit where 13 00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:05,800 crossed, but we didn't see nothing. 14 00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:10,540 Coming through the Suez Canal, we noticed that the little Arab boys wore 15 00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:11,580 shirts all day long. 16 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,720 They lifted them up to show us what nice legs they got. 17 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,760 So the captain sent the three girls down to their cabin. 18 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,920 But I think they looked through the porthole. 19 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:25,040 When we reached the Mediterranean, the blokes got a bit bored, so we gave them 20 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,040 show. 21 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,360 But not a very long one. 22 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,620 We passed the Rock of Gibraltar and came out into the Atlantic, where we ran 23 00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:38,660 into an awful storm. 24 00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:42,600 And a lot of us was ill. 25 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:43,980 I want to die. 26 00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:45,640 I just want to die. 27 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,460 In that case, you won't want your state and kidney put. 28 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:49,780 I'll get over. 29 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,200 Then we got our first glimpse of dear old England. 30 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,440 But not for long, the fog came up. 31 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,980 Get in that letter for me. 32 00:01:57,380 --> 00:01:58,540 You'll be home before it arrives. 33 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:00,640 I never thought of that. 34 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,120 Leave the boy alone. 35 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,440 He can use it in his memoirs. 36 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:07,920 There it is, lovely boys. 37 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,440 Dear old him. 38 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:12,700 Where? 39 00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:15,460 I'll just about make some figures out. 40 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:16,700 Over there. 41 00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:18,980 Perhaps it's a band to welcome us. 42 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:20,720 They always have a band. 43 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,220 I expect the mayor will be there as well. 44 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,520 I don't want any speeches. 45 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,360 I just want to go home. 46 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:29,960 Hey, it is a band. I can see a fella in a uniform, look. 47 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,600 He's waving a placard. 48 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,120 What's it say? 49 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,660 Prepare to meet thy maker. 50 00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:38,320 Don't tell me they sent him as well. 51 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,820 Just had orders to disembark, Mr. Williams. Get the chaps moving. 52 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,120 Stop! Right, get your kids piled down the gangway. What gangway? 53 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,480 All the way here, unless you'd rather jump. 54 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,200 Thanks very much for loving for you. 55 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,300 Sergeant Major, take him over to that shed. 56 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,239 What shed? 57 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,240 Over there. You'll come to it. 58 00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,930 I can't see a thing, Sergeant Major. 59 00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:02,190 Just follow me. 60 00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:03,990 What are you doing? 61 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,430 I've got a long way to get there, Sergeant Major. I don't want to lose you 62 00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:08,730 Just put your hand on my shoulder. 63 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:10,030 The rest of you do this to me. 64 00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:15,990 the wrong way. Shut up. 65 00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:18,250 Nearly snuffed it. 66 00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:21,370 Oh, that would have been a rotten luck, wouldn't it? 67 00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:25,990 Right. You lot. 68 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:27,610 You're next. 69 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:28,850 What for? 70 00:04:29,110 --> 00:04:30,250 Go through customs. 71 00:04:31,190 --> 00:04:32,870 Customs? But we're soldiers. 72 00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:34,530 We're soldiers. 73 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:36,830 We're in the air. 74 00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:40,310 Like a load of poofs to me. 75 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:25,660 watches, jewellery, cameras, binoculars, furs, heavy machinery. Are you mad? 76 00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:27,560 We're just talking about the jungle. 77 00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,460 Where? In Burma. 78 00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:30,740 What were you doing there? 79 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,100 Fighting the Japanese. 80 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,540 It was ours, you know. The Japanese took it and we had to get it back. 81 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,960 What do you think we're wearing these hats for, eh? I thought you were 82 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:39,960 Australians. 83 00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:44,580 I think this is a damn bad show. These chaps have been fighting for king and 84 00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:46,820 country. That little one must have been a big help. 85 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,720 Africa, Italy and France. 86 00:05:53,860 --> 00:05:55,840 Now, have you anything to declare? 87 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,700 No? All right, move on. 88 00:06:05,140 --> 00:06:07,960 I'm absolutely 89 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:14,900 livid. How dare they subject 90 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,880 us to this after all we've been through? I must say that customs officer was 91 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:18,880 damned high -handed. 92 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,340 I'm jolly well going to complain. 93 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:21,700 Yes, you go and do that. 94 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,260 Ask him his name. Yes, I will. 95 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,380 Now, look here. 96 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,580 I'm going to put in a complaint about your cavalier treatment of our men. 97 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:34,879 What's your name? 98 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,520 Palmer. Where did you get that ring? 99 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:37,979 It's mine. 100 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,140 A bit effeminate for a man. 101 00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:42,400 Dick, I bought it in the bazaar for my wife. 102 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:43,579 You got a receipt? 103 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:45,020 You don't get receipts in a bazaar. 104 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,560 Would you mind coming with me, sir? 105 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,460 Don't let us make heavy weather over this. Captain Ashwood was only joking 106 00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:51,460 reporting you. 107 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,560 Haven't you got a sense of humour? 108 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:56,780 I think you should know, sir, that when we passed our final exam, they put us 109 00:06:56,780 --> 00:07:00,540 into a room, and there we sit for one hour listening to records of Tommy 110 00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:05,700 Handley, Max Miller and Rob Wilton. And if one of us so much as smiles, we're 111 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,700 out. 112 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,280 Pardon me, please. 113 00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,340 Come on, move yourself! 114 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,560 Move yourself! 115 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:18,720 Come on, move yourself! 116 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,160 Right! 117 00:07:48,810 --> 00:07:49,810 Excuse me, Sergeant Major. 118 00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,830 Why are we doing all this? 119 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:54,030 Why are we doing all this? 120 00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:58,630 Because, Mr. Lardy Darkheart O 'Graham, you have been lying around on a troop 121 00:07:58,630 --> 00:08:01,850 ship for six weeks, and you was flabby, and now no conditions! 122 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,490 But we're being demobbed tomorrow. 123 00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:09,590 You do not buck your ideas up. You'll be on a fizzer, and instead of being 124 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,190 demobbed, you will be doing 28 -day CB. 125 00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:15,270 And after that, another 28 -day CB. 126 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,020 Enough of that, enough of that, enough of that, enough of that! 127 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,580 The way you is going, you could be in the army till you's very old. 128 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,640 Have a heart, Sergeant Major. 129 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,100 Have an heart? Have an heart? 130 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,400 You ask me to have an heart, I have not got no heart! 131 00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,600 Because you broke it! 132 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,220 You smashed it into tiny pieces! 133 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:43,960 I hear this! 134 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,880 It's not me to be mobbed till 1 ,200 hours tomorrow. 135 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,120 It is now. 136 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,880 1 ,200 hours today. 137 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,680 For the next 24 hours, I shall be watching you like an orc. 138 00:08:54,940 --> 00:09:00,720 You put one foot wrong, and I shall have you in the guardroom locked up. 139 00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:04,440 Excuse me, Sergeant Major. Do you think we could continue this discussion 140 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,860 indoors? Yes. 141 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,280 We're sent to the skin. 142 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,700 Shut up! 143 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:11,960 Watch out! 144 00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:22,750 Oh, heavens, Ashwood. 145 00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:26,010 Sergeant Major's doing all that inspecting and stamping around stuff. 146 00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:29,230 We don't want to get involved, do we? Definitely not, sir. Let's get down to 147 00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:30,230 officer's nest. 148 00:09:30,410 --> 00:09:35,050 I think a few gins, a good meal, and then a nap in one of those great big 149 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,450 leather armchairs. The order of the day? 150 00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:37,770 Next to the idea. Good. 151 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:41,570 Shupply umbrella, a bit more my way, Ashwood. I'm getting sick. 152 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,810 I shouldn't know where I should get sick. 153 00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:47,630 This is my umbrella, sir. 154 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,380 Here, don't trip on the liner. We'll have to pull it here, Keith. 155 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,500 Just think, another 24 hours and we shall be free from all this. 156 00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:02,220 Here, we're going to have to be careful we don't get in any sort of trouble. 157 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,660 We'll have to be careful we don't get in any sort of trouble. 158 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,580 Roll up. Come on, you brats! 159 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,180 Now get this into your thick heads. 160 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,020 You think because you've come off parade you was having two hours off? Wrong! 161 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,860 All kits will be laid out according to this diagram. 162 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:20,520 Oh, dear! 163 00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:27,330 I want this lino polished until it is gleaming, gleaming, gleaming! 164 00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:30,710 He starts all that gleaming business again. Shut up! 165 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,830 These windows is filthy. 166 00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:34,210 Clean them. 167 00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:35,850 I want that glass invisible. 168 00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:40,510 Polish that stove until it looks like silver. I want it shining, shining, 169 00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:44,770 shining! We just know how to have it gleaming, gleaming, gleaming. Shut up! 170 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,110 Oh, dear. 171 00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:50,250 Do something about that coal. 172 00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:51,990 What's wrong with it? 173 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:58,280 What's wrong with it? You ask me what's wrong with it? It is filthy! 174 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,280 I will not have dirty, filthy coal in my bathroom! 175 00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:04,880 Coal usually is dirty, Sergeant Major. 176 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,300 Not in the British Army. 177 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:09,820 Wash that coal. 178 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,760 Polish that coal. 179 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,860 When I come back, I want to see that coal! 180 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,800 As soon as I get this uniform off tomorrow, I shall give myself the 181 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,460 telling him exactly what I think of him. Join the queue. 182 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:38,540 I shall call him a mindless, overbearing, sadistic ignoramus. 183 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,100 Aye. You use all the long ones. 184 00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:42,560 I'll use the short ones. 185 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,940 I'm just going to belt him in the gob. 186 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,280 I can't wait till 12 o 'clock tomorrow. 187 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:52,020 You know I'm good at gestures. Well, I'm going to do one for him. 188 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:54,840 Be powerless. 189 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,520 You'll have to stand. 190 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,870 He'll have apoplexy. 191 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:03,330 Here. You know what old Shutup's going to do when he gets demobbed? No, what? 192 00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,070 He's going to be a prison warder. 193 00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:09,710 You see him on Dartmoor, making all the convicts whitewash the rocks they're 194 00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:10,710 breaking. 195 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:14,110 Fancy taking a job as a prison warder. That's typical. 196 00:12:14,410 --> 00:12:15,550 He's obsessed with uniforms. 197 00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:18,570 Yeah. I know what I'm going to do with my uniform. 198 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:22,850 I'm going to take it down the bottom of the garden and I'm going to burn it. 199 00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:25,590 Let's all burn them at the same time. 200 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:30,060 At 12 o 'clock next Saturday We'll go to the bottom of our gardens and we'll 201 00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:32,700 light a bonfire and shove our uniforms on. 202 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,800 Hey, that's a great idea. 203 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:39,280 And when the smoke's rising up into the sky, I'm going to shout, goodbye, army, 204 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,340 you've had the worst years of my life. 205 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,340 And at the same time, we'll all think about each other. 206 00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:47,020 Are we agreed on that? 207 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,300 Yeah. 208 00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:51,120 As only once, Doug. 209 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:52,960 I live in the flat. 210 00:12:58,890 --> 00:12:59,970 not want to get back home. 211 00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:01,710 More than anything in the world. 212 00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:03,250 Shut up! 213 00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:05,350 Officers, they have passed, Ashwood. 214 00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:07,390 Now you lot go through that door there. 215 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:11,330 Now, chaps, this could be the parting of the ways. 216 00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,430 We may not see each other again. 217 00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:15,510 But I'm not going to get emotional. 218 00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:16,890 We've been through a lot together. 219 00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:24,030 I just want to say... What I wanted to say was... What's the word I'm looking 220 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:24,949 for, Ashwood? 221 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:25,950 Goodbye, sir. 222 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,770 one thing is quite certain, I shall never forget any of you. 223 00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:36,670 Goodbye, Gunner, Gunner. 224 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,650 Bye, 225 00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:41,450 Graham. Keep tickling the ivories. 226 00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:42,710 Thank you, sir. Goodbye. 227 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,090 Bye, Belmont. 228 00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:48,150 If you ever see my name outside a theatre, be sure and come round. 229 00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:49,730 Of course. 230 00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:51,190 Goodbye. 231 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:53,230 Good luck, Tarkin. Sir. 232 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:55,510 Good luck, er... 233 00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:56,790 Of course, yes. 234 00:13:57,530 --> 00:13:58,409 Good luck. 235 00:13:58,410 --> 00:13:59,410 Evans. Thank you. 236 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,310 Macintosh, give my regards to everybody north of the border. 237 00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:05,630 It might take a wee while, sir, but I'll try. 238 00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:11,810 Well, sir, this is it. 239 00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:14,790 Good luck in Dartmoor or wherever you're going. 240 00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:17,850 Thank you, sir. 241 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,590 It's been a privilege to serve under you. Yes. 242 00:14:24,590 --> 00:14:27,350 Once again, goodbye and good luck, all of you. 243 00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:28,730 Thank you, sir. 244 00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:30,350 Oh, 245 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:31,490 don't break down now. 246 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,460 By the time you get to the end of this hall, you will be kitted out in suit, 247 00:14:57,620 --> 00:15:01,060 shirt, hat, shoes and accessories of your personal choice. 248 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,920 We have a full range of sizes and a wide selection of colours and materials. 249 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,260 All presented to you by His Majesty, King George VI. 250 00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,780 I wonder if they'll have my appointment on the label. 251 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,760 Shut up! 252 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,420 Now, first of all, we take the shirts. 253 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:19,480 We have the types A, B, C or D. All you have to do is to tell the clerk of your 254 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,700 choice and collar size. 255 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,640 Right, let's party up the cart and make a choice! 256 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,270 Eleven. Let me think. Come on, come on, come on. 257 00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:28,910 I'll have A14, please. 258 00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:31,230 No, no, perhaps I'll have C. Yeah, I'll have C. 259 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,290 No, no, no. I'll have the D. 260 00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:35,190 Break your mind up over here! 261 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:37,950 How can I possibly tell until I see the suit? 262 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,170 Whatever you choose, you still look like A -puff. 263 00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,450 Hold on a minute, Sergeant Major. 264 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:45,710 We're not in the army. 265 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,700 Your AB -64 is stamped at the end of this table, and that is 20 foot away. 266 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,400 Now, a lot can happen in 20 foot. You put one foot wrong inside that 20 foot, 267 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,880 I'll have you back through that door and into that guard room before your feet 268 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,880 touch the ground. 269 00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:07,700 I don't believe this is happening. 270 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:11,800 You will, boy, when you's peering through them bars. Get on with it. 271 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,260 B -16, please. 272 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,860 What's your chest size? 46. 273 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,640 Oh, dear. 274 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,640 I'm going to have trouble with you right down the line. 275 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:21,300 You only got him at 20 foot. 276 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,200 I've had him for 10 ,000 miles. 277 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,820 Have you got any boy shirts with fat necks? 278 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,180 Give him an 18. 279 00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:34,200 Your mother can take a bit in. All right. 280 00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:39,020 Right. 281 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,740 Do you want a suit or a sports jacket and flannels? 282 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,020 Are you sure these are officers' suits? 283 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,280 They're all the same, sir. You're just standing on a different side of the 284 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,280 wreck. 285 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,720 The world's changing, Ashwood. 286 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,420 I'll try a sports jacket, chest 42. 287 00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:58,140 Yes, I'll have the same, 38. 288 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:02,020 42... 38. 289 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,660 It's quite ghastly. I can't imagine ever wearing the thing. 290 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,700 Never mind, sir. You can always give it to your butler or your chauffeur. 291 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,440 Maybe even your gardener. 292 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:16,000 Look here, there's no need to be sarcastic. 293 00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:18,819 We've been fighting for people like you. 294 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,920 Heroes are ten a penny around here, mate. 295 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:29,280 They're not that bad. 296 00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:33,840 Do you know, Atlas, this is the first time in my life I've had a completely 297 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,180 suit. I've always had to have my older brother's. 298 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,640 What, and the other colours? 299 00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:41,440 These are all so drab. 300 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,900 All so drab. 301 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,640 Let me tell you, Mr. Lauderdale Gunner Graham, if you want a suit suit with a 302 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,960 drape shape, you're in the wrong shop. 303 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,199 What pattern? 304 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,200 I'm not fussy. 305 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:59,880 I'll have a G36, please. G36, extra short. 306 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,060 I'll have type C, 42. 307 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,500 C, 42, extra long. 308 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,720 There's no room for my growth. 309 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,000 42A. 42, long. 310 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,300 I'll have type E, 48, short. 311 00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,590 Type E48, short. Don't kid yourself. 312 00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:25,530 He means type E48 ridiculous. 313 00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:40,450 These trophies look awful. 314 00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:42,130 I'm going to have a cap. 315 00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:43,450 I'll have the same. 316 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,290 Caps? I need you to have exactly the same as me. 317 00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:48,810 So I say I want a cap. 318 00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:00,660 These are working men's caps. 319 00:19:02,420 --> 00:19:04,020 Don't you've got a country gentleman's cap? 320 00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:07,600 Sorry, sir, if I'd known you were coming, I'd have got some toppers in. 321 00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:11,780 I've a jolly good mind to report to you. What's your name? Oh, don't start all 322 00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:12,780 that again. 323 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:19,180 Just think, only three pages before he stamps our pay books, and we're 324 00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:21,640 again. Don't hang a boat, then. Get on with it. 325 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,240 Yes, they might shop for dinner. 326 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,520 Name? 327 00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:25,860 Bowman, sir. 328 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,440 Right. 329 00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:31,230 This is your ration book, your clothing coupon. Thank you. 330 00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,770 Relief. Thank you, Mr. Beaumont. 331 00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,130 Mr. Beaumont. 332 00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:41,830 Name? Graham, sir, actually. 333 00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,710 Ration book, clothing coupon. 334 00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,110 Yeah. 335 00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:48,370 Relief. Thank you, Mr. Graham. Thank you, sir. 336 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,450 Name? Right. What did he call me? 337 00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:54,210 Mr. Beaumont. 338 00:19:55,130 --> 00:19:56,130 I'm released. 339 00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:57,530 I'm free. 340 00:19:58,090 --> 00:19:59,090 I'm free. 341 00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,650 Never thought I'd see the day. 342 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,750 It's a bit of an anticlimax, really. 343 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,270 What do we do now? 344 00:20:06,730 --> 00:20:09,950 You're going to tell those shut -ups what you think of them. Oh, they're long 345 00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:12,390 words. And you were going to do your gestures, Lofty. 346 00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:14,870 Better hang on for Nobby. He's going to hit him. 347 00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:19,730 Go on, Nobby. You can hit him now. 348 00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:21,330 And then I'll do my gestures. 349 00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:25,370 Oh, I'd better wait. He's not out the army yet. 350 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:26,890 Thank you, Mr Williams. 351 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,400 He is now. 352 00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:33,600 Yeah, well, I can't sit him now. My arms are all full. 353 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,320 Put it down. 354 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,820 No. Someone might nick it. 355 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:40,940 You have a go, Paderewski. 356 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,220 Oh, I really can't be bothered. I'm going to go and get changed. 357 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,180 No, I can't be bothered either. 358 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,580 You're just scared he might hit your back. 359 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,880 You with him, then? 360 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,640 No. 361 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,120 He might get me on some technicality. 362 00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:58,450 I'm not going to bother either. 363 00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:00,430 Right. 364 00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:02,170 Looks so pathetic. 365 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:04,790 Come on, fellas, let's get changed. 366 00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:11,050 Meat, butter, clothing coupons. 367 00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:14,930 Mr. B .L. Williams. 368 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:17,650 Civilian. 369 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,810 Never thought I'd see the day. 370 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,040 The usual, Ashwood? Oh, thanks, no problem. 371 00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:47,700 Two gin and tonics, please. 372 00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:51,620 Sorry, dear, no spirits until seven o 'clock, and then only for regulars. 373 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,180 How can you have regulars in the station bar? 374 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,660 Some people work, dear. 375 00:21:57,540 --> 00:22:00,980 How dare you? Who realises we've been fighting for people like you? 376 00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:02,700 D -mobs, are you? 377 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,820 We get a lot of your thought through here, all wanting us to be grateful. 378 00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:10,000 I must have had 50 men fighting for me this week. 379 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,780 Did any of them get you? 380 00:22:14,879 --> 00:22:17,060 Watch it, or I might not serve you at all. 381 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,160 I've had enough of it. What's your name? 382 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,560 Just give us two halves of bitter. 383 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,300 It'll have to be mild and bitter. We're rationed. 384 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,000 There, 385 00:22:29,620 --> 00:22:32,740 you look very, uh... Very, uh... Doesn't he, Ashford? 386 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,600 Yes, sir, very. 387 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,080 I feel like Berkshire. 388 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,380 I suppose we've got to get used to it. 389 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:40,720 Would you take me on it? 390 00:22:45,390 --> 00:22:46,129 another one, please. 391 00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:47,830 Why didn't you say so before? 392 00:22:48,190 --> 00:22:49,370 Because he wasn't here before. 393 00:22:50,310 --> 00:22:51,910 He's been away fighting, has he? 394 00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:53,250 Just get the beer. 395 00:23:01,650 --> 00:23:03,170 There's that embarrassing little man. 396 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:04,550 I hope he's not going to join us. 397 00:23:06,890 --> 00:23:11,310 Roffy, you look very, uh, very sure. 398 00:23:11,550 --> 00:23:12,550 Yes. 399 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,840 Fancy a beer, Gloria? 400 00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,560 Oh, don't mind the fancy. 401 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,180 When you're ready, miss, we'll have two beers. 402 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,400 Sorry, finished. 403 00:23:26,020 --> 00:23:27,020 The beer's finished. 404 00:23:27,420 --> 00:23:28,420 Oh, well. 405 00:23:28,460 --> 00:23:30,520 Oh, never mind, fellas. We haven't got that long anyway. 406 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:31,960 There's still something else left. 407 00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:33,780 Three -fourths twice, please, miss. 408 00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:48,459 Yes. 409 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,720 We all are, then. 410 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,620 Where are you off to, Bombadier? 411 00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:58,160 London. My agent's fixed me a pantomime. 412 00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,880 Wishy -washy. 413 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:01,840 Understand. 414 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,200 I suppose most of you are off home. 415 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,820 Aye. Yeah. 416 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,100 What about you, Gamma Graham? 417 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:13,239 Oh, yeah. 418 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,240 Mr. Graham, now. 419 00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:16,780 I'm going to look up my old tutor in Cambridge. 420 00:24:17,210 --> 00:24:19,790 Trying to get into the habit of being a civilised human being again. 421 00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:22,510 I'm going to see my old poor man in the shipyard. 422 00:24:22,730 --> 00:24:24,350 Trying to get into the habit of working again. 423 00:24:24,690 --> 00:24:27,490 I'm just going to loaf around for a couple of weeks. Then I'll get a job. 424 00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:28,750 There's plenty about. 425 00:24:29,070 --> 00:24:30,070 I'll soon get something. 426 00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:32,930 Smart boy like you be staffed up in no time. 427 00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:36,690 Expect you're going straight to Parkhurst or Dartmoor, sir? 428 00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:40,750 No, no, sir. I just heard there's been a bit of a hold -up there. 429 00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:42,630 Where are you off to, then? 430 00:24:43,450 --> 00:24:46,470 Oh, I don't know, sir. I'll probably get digs round here and hang on for a bit. 431 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000 And I won't forget you. 432 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:20,680 Any of you. 433 00:25:24,220 --> 00:25:31,180 Bye -bye, Peter. 434 00:25:31,540 --> 00:25:32,540 Bye, sir. 435 00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,480 Hurry, I'll be after it. First -class compartment's usually up front. 436 00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:02,539 What's the matter, boy? 437 00:26:02,540 --> 00:26:03,540 You forgot something? 438 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:04,720 No, no. 439 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:05,800 Well, you don't miss your train. 440 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,160 That's all right. 441 00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:08,820 I haven't blown the whistle yet. 442 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,160 You didn't get that job, did you, Sergeant Major? 443 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,290 No. Oh, they turned me down. 444 00:26:33,230 --> 00:26:34,230 Too old. 445 00:26:35,250 --> 00:26:37,270 Still, depressing places, prisons, aren't they? 446 00:26:38,470 --> 00:26:40,270 So you haven't got anywhere to go, then? 447 00:26:41,630 --> 00:26:43,410 Well, nowhere special. 448 00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:48,370 What about that widow lady in Wales with the pub that he was always telling me 449 00:26:48,370 --> 00:26:49,370 about? 450 00:26:49,730 --> 00:26:54,090 Yeah, well, I rang her up last night, and he was but answered the phone. 451 00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:59,910 I tell you what, you can come and stay with Mum and me. 452 00:27:00,330 --> 00:27:01,710 Until you get things sorted out. 453 00:27:05,550 --> 00:27:06,550 I can do that. 454 00:27:07,050 --> 00:27:08,050 Of course you can. 455 00:27:08,770 --> 00:27:10,710 Mum always asked after you in her letters. 456 00:27:12,730 --> 00:27:13,730 It is. 457 00:27:16,070 --> 00:27:17,690 I haven't seen her for 25 years. 458 00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:21,270 I'd like to see her again. 459 00:27:22,190 --> 00:27:23,190 Well, that's it then. 460 00:27:26,150 --> 00:27:28,030 Only till I get myself sorted out, mind. 461 00:27:28,290 --> 00:27:29,290 Oh, you soon do that. 462 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,280 Come on, sir. 463 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:47,880 Up you, lovely boy. 464 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:50,840 Shoulders back. 465 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:52,640 Time for the shoulders. 466 00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:54,740 Show them off. 467 00:27:57,060 --> 00:27:58,520 Come on, Park. Keep it going. 468 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,160 Come on. 469 00:28:21,580 --> 00:28:26,780 Meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you. 470 00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:33,400 With music and laughter to help you on your way, to rave in the rafters with 471 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,480 hey, hey, hey. 472 00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:41,120 With fun and sketchy and gentle review, without the blouse, you won't feel blue. 473 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:47,120 So meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you. 474 00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:51,210 We are here to make you feel gay. 475 00:28:51,410 --> 00:28:54,610 So give us a cheer with a hey, hey, hey. 476 00:28:54,830 --> 00:29:01,350 Just gather around and put down your gun. With us to fight the plenty of fun. 477 00:29:01,530 --> 00:29:04,790 So we can get close. The boys are here. 478 00:29:04,990 --> 00:29:07,270 The boys to entertain you. 479 00:29:08,190 --> 00:29:09,190 B! 480 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:24,800 Dear Gloria -sam, I have got my ticket for the boat to Belaiti, and I shall be 481 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,800 home in six weeks. 482 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:30,940 And I hope most sincerely that you will come to the grand opening of my 483 00:29:30,940 --> 00:29:35,320 restaurant, the Star of India, in the beautiful city of Bradford. 484 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:42,620 I expect it is cold in Belaiti, but out here, as Gunnar Parkey always used to 485 00:29:42,620 --> 00:29:43,539 say, 486 00:29:43,540 --> 00:29:46,880 core blimey, it ain't half hot, ma 'am. 487 00:29:47,580 --> 00:29:48,580 Shut up.