1
00:00:58,796 --> 00:01:02,323
To think that this great man
is coming to our house for dinner.

2
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:05,799
- Ernest, Ernest, aren't you thrilled?
- That depends. What are we having?

3
00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,232
Ernest.

4
00:01:07,438 --> 00:01:10,669
If he's gonna shave at our house,
he's not gonna use my razor.

5
00:01:10,841 --> 00:01:14,038
Hush, Ernest. Somebody will hear you.
Hello, Lottie.

6
00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:17,141
Mr. Whiteside's beard is what makes
him so distinguished.

7
00:01:17,314 --> 00:01:20,181
It is, huh? Well, you just hide
my razor for three days...

8
00:01:20,351 --> 00:01:23,548
...maybe I'll look distinguished enough
to get $1500 a lecture too.

9
00:01:23,721 --> 00:01:25,211
Haven't you a bit of culture?

10
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:29,086
Haven't you any respect for
this first man of American letters?

11
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:31,251
He may be the first man
of American letters...

12
00:01:31,428 --> 00:01:33,862
...but I rate pretty high
in ball bearings.

13
00:01:34,031 --> 00:01:36,556
- At least I'm a defense industry.
- Ernest...

14
00:01:36,734 --> 00:01:38,668
...I'm so excited.

15
00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:48,768
I simply will not sit down at dinner
with Midwestern barbarians.

16
00:01:48,979 --> 00:01:50,970
I think too highly
of my digestive system.

17
00:01:51,148 --> 00:01:53,616
But Harry Clarke is one
of your oldest friends.

18
00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:55,479
My stomach is an older one.

19
00:01:55,653 --> 00:01:57,780
Mrs. Stanley is president
of the Women's Club.

20
00:01:57,955 --> 00:02:00,048
I wouldn't care if she was
the whole cabinet.

21
00:02:00,224 --> 00:02:02,658
And it's important to Harry's
future lecture bookings.

22
00:02:02,827 --> 00:02:04,886
You can't let him down.

23
00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:09,191
Ernest, there he is. There he is.

24
00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:11,334
That's probably Mrs. Stanley.

25
00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:15,131
- I won't budge.
- Come on, babykins.

26
00:02:15,306 --> 00:02:18,503
He looks just like his picture,
doesn't he?

27
00:02:18,676 --> 00:02:21,907
Sherry, you have one great advantage
over everyone else in the world.

28
00:02:22,079 --> 00:02:24,570
You've never had to meet
Sheridan Whiteside.

29
00:02:24,748 --> 00:02:28,741
Oh, Mr. Whiteside, please, please,
may I have your autograph?

30
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,149
Stand back, please.
Don't come too close.

31
00:02:31,322 --> 00:02:34,314
I have several contagious diseases.

32
00:02:34,525 --> 00:02:37,187
Maggie, my dear, will you
run interference for me?

33
00:02:37,361 --> 00:02:40,853
Would you please step back?
Mr. Whiteside's in a great rush.

34
00:02:41,031 --> 00:02:42,726
Oh, dear, Mr. Whiteside.

35
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,164
I'm Mrs. Ernest Stanley,
and this is Mr. Stanley.

36
00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:47,736
You are coming to dinner, aren't you?

37
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:53,235
Mrs. Stanley, Mr. Whiteside
is having his little joke.

38
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:56,811
- He'd be delighted to come to dinner.
- Oh, how nice of you.

39
00:02:56,981 --> 00:02:58,972
I'm Miss Cutler,
Mr. Whiteside's secretary.

40
00:02:59,149 --> 00:03:00,810
- And you will come too.
- Thank you.

41
00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:04,648
Mr. Whiteside, this is simply wonderful.
Did you have a pleasant trip?

42
00:03:04,822 --> 00:03:08,417
Charming. I killed a woman
in the next compartment.

43
00:03:08,592 --> 00:03:10,685
She asked me to lunch.

44
00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:19,365
Oh, have you ladies
seen Mr. Whiteside?

45
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,731
- In Mr. Stanley's car.
- Oh, thanks a lot.

46
00:03:21,906 --> 00:03:24,500
- Be sure that goes to the Mansion House.
- Yes, sir.

47
00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,336
I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Whiteside.

48
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:29,411
Jefferson of the <i>Mesalia Journal.</i>
Mind if I ask a few questions?

49
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:32,140
- Mind if I ask you one?
- Of course not.

50
00:03:32,316 --> 00:03:34,216
Have you got a dollar?

51
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,353
Why, sure.

52
00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:41,983
- Thank you. Hope it's not counterfeit.
- Thank you, sir.

53
00:03:42,159 --> 00:03:44,650
Drive on.

54
00:04:03,514 --> 00:04:05,482
Well, here we are.

55
00:04:05,649 --> 00:04:09,517
Mesalia isn't a big town, Mr. Whiteside,
but it's simply filled with culture.

56
00:04:09,687 --> 00:04:11,917
The nights you lecture,
everyone stays home.

57
00:04:12,122 --> 00:04:13,987
Except if Errol Flynn is playing.

58
00:04:14,158 --> 00:04:18,356
Mesalia has many points of interest.
Crystal Cave, a short drive from here.

59
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:22,295
- And the petrified animals.
- Are they coming to dinner too?

60
00:04:25,402 --> 00:04:27,131
Phillip, help me. Get down here.

61
00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:30,535
Oh, Maggie. Maggie!

62
00:04:31,408 --> 00:04:35,640
Oh, Maggie. Get me out of here!
Oh, what a... Oh, what a...

63
00:04:38,082 --> 00:04:39,481
Send for the doctor!

64
00:04:59,937 --> 00:05:03,429
Sheridan Whiteside fell on his...
Give me 500 words on that, will you?

65
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,938
Yes, ma'am.

66
00:05:05,109 --> 00:05:07,771
Yes, Miss Barrymore.
I'll see that he gets your message.

67
00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:20,052
But it is hoped that Mr. Whiteside...

68
00:05:20,224 --> 00:05:22,920
...will be able to resume his broadcast
on Christmas Eve.

69
00:05:23,093 --> 00:05:25,288
Now, a word to those
who have athlete's foot.

70
00:05:25,462 --> 00:05:27,953
I think the doctor said
in about a week.

71
00:05:28,132 --> 00:05:30,498
Yes, he's still confined to his room.

72
00:05:31,602 --> 00:05:35,003
- Package for Mr. Whiteside.
- Telegrams for Sheridan Whiteside.

73
00:05:35,172 --> 00:05:39,268
- Flowers for Mr. Whiteside.
- Wheelchair for Mr. Whiteside.

74
00:05:49,953 --> 00:05:52,649
"The idol of the airways rests
until further notice...

75
00:05:52,823 --> 00:05:55,257
...at the home of surprised
Mr. and Mrs. Stanley...

76
00:05:55,426 --> 00:06:00,830
...of Mesalia, Ohio. Possibility,
Christmas may be postponed this year."

77
00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:06,632
How is he? Is he coming out?

78
00:06:06,970 --> 00:06:09,063
- I'll go, Mother.
- All right, Richard.

79
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,535
What's the matter? What is it, John?

80
00:06:11,742 --> 00:06:13,937
- They want pillows.
- They want pillows?

81
00:06:14,111 --> 00:06:16,443
- Anything I can do, Miss Preen?
- No, thank you.

82
00:06:16,613 --> 00:06:19,309
Take your fishhooks off me!

83
00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:22,112
Two more packages
and more telegrams.

84
00:06:22,286 --> 00:06:24,686
Dad's going crazy upstairs
with that bell ringing.

85
00:06:24,855 --> 00:06:28,120
Oh, dear. Will you answer it, darling?
What did you say, Richard?

86
00:06:28,292 --> 00:06:30,453
One's from San Francisco,
one's from New York.

87
00:06:30,627 --> 00:06:33,858
There was something from Alaska
this morning. A baby seal, I think.

88
00:06:34,031 --> 00:06:35,965
You move like
a broken-down truck horse!

89
00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:37,794
I'll get them right away.

90
00:06:38,035 --> 00:06:40,401
He wants some
Metropolitan Club cigarettes.

91
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:42,539
Metropolitan Club?

92
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,970
They have them at Kitchner's.
I'll get some.

93
00:06:45,142 --> 00:06:47,076
- Here are the pillows.
- Thank you.

94
00:06:47,277 --> 00:06:49,575
Tell me, is he?
Are they bringing him out soon?

95
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:52,078
We're getting him out of bed now.
He'll be out soon.

96
00:06:52,249 --> 00:06:54,581
Oh, I'm so glad.

97
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:58,186
Doesn't that bird brain of yours
ever function?

98
00:06:58,355 --> 00:07:00,289
He must be very happy.

99
00:07:00,457 --> 00:07:03,688
Two o'clock? Yes, I'm sure
he could talk then. All right.

100
00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:07,353
Mother, who do you suppose that was?
Winston Churchill from London.

101
00:07:07,531 --> 00:07:11,399
- Winston Churchill, on our telephone.
- I'll be upstairs if you want me, Mother.

102
00:07:11,568 --> 00:07:13,900
Oh, yes. Tell your father
he better come down.

103
00:07:14,071 --> 00:07:16,835
- Mr. Whiteside's coming out.
- Yes. You'll call, won't you?

104
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,907
- Of course.
- Mr. Whiteside is coming out.

105
00:07:19,076 --> 00:07:21,874
- Daisy, I can't wait.
- Ernest, he's coming any minute.

106
00:07:22,045 --> 00:07:24,036
Winston Churchill
was on the telephone.

107
00:07:24,214 --> 00:07:26,182
We're in the national
news magazines. Look.

108
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:28,750
"The idol of the airways rests
in the home...

109
00:07:28,919 --> 00:07:31,444
...of surprised Mr. and Mrs. Stanley
of Mesalia, Ohio.

110
00:07:31,622 --> 00:07:34,716
Christmas may be postponed
this year." What does that mean?

111
00:07:34,892 --> 00:07:38,055
I'm sure it's a great honor,
but I don't like this publicity.

112
00:07:38,228 --> 00:07:41,254
It's upsetting. Phones ringing
all the time. Bells ringing.

113
00:07:41,431 --> 00:07:44,491
- Messenger boys running in and out.
- Trapped like a rat!

114
00:07:44,668 --> 00:07:47,262
I beg your pardon, Mrs. Stanley.
Have the cigarettes come?

115
00:07:47,437 --> 00:07:50,065
They're on their way.
My son went for them.

116
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,707
Mind if I move this chair?

117
00:07:51,875 --> 00:07:54,867
- You mean he's coming out now?
- He is indeed.

118
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,775
June. June, Mr. Whiteside's
coming out.

119
00:07:57,948 --> 00:08:01,884
Sarah? Bring me a glass of the calf's
foot jelly I made for Mr. Whiteside.

120
00:08:02,052 --> 00:08:04,111
Oh, I'm so excited,
I don't know what to do.

121
00:08:04,288 --> 00:08:07,485
- Oh, me too.
- Thank you, Sarah. Thank you.

122
00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:10,419
- Good morning, Dr. Bradley.
- Good morning.

123
00:08:10,594 --> 00:08:14,997
Well, here we are, merry and bright.
Bring in our little patient, Miss Preen.

124
00:08:30,414 --> 00:08:33,781
Good morning, Mr. Whiteside.
I'm Mrs. Ernest Stanley.

125
00:08:33,951 --> 00:08:37,751
- Remember? And this is my husband.
- How do you do? I hope you're better.

126
00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:41,948
Thank you. I am suing you
for $150,000.

127
00:08:42,926 --> 00:08:47,795
- How's that? What?
- I said that I am suing you for $150,000.

128
00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:50,593
You mean because you fell
on our steps, Mr. Whiteside?

129
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:53,634
Thomas E. Dewey
will explain it to you in court.

130
00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:56,773
Why are you standing there
like the kiss of death?

131
00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:58,669
Oh, my calf's foot jelly.

132
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,776
Made from your own foot,
I have no doubt.

133
00:09:00,944 --> 00:09:03,674
Mrs. Stanley, there are a few matters
to take up with you.

134
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,781
Since this corner druggist
at my elbow...

135
00:09:05,949 --> 00:09:08,941
...tells me that I shall be confined
to this moldy mortuary...

136
00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:10,780
...for at least another 10 days...

137
00:09:10,954 --> 00:09:13,354
...due entirely to your stupidity
and negligence...

138
00:09:13,523 --> 00:09:16,219
...I shall have to carry on
my activities as best I can.

139
00:09:16,426 --> 00:09:18,724
I shall require the exclusive use
of this room...

140
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:21,124
...as well as that sewer
you call the library.

141
00:09:21,298 --> 00:09:23,562
I want no one to come in
while I'm in this room.

142
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,065
What do you mean, sir?

143
00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:28,671
But we have to go up those stairs
to get to our rooms, Mr. Whiteside.

144
00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:31,307
- Isn't there a back entrance?
- Why, yes.

145
00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:33,033
Well, then use that.

146
00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:37,670
I shall also require a room
for my secretary.

147
00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:40,544
There'll be a great many
incoming and outgoing calls...

148
00:09:40,717 --> 00:09:42,651
...so please do not use the telephone.

149
00:09:42,819 --> 00:09:46,346
I sleep until noon
and must have quiet until that hour.

150
00:09:46,523 --> 00:09:49,014
There'll be five for lunch today.
Where's the cook?

151
00:09:49,192 --> 00:09:52,389
- Mr. Whiteside, if I may interrupt...
- You may not, sir.

152
00:09:52,562 --> 00:09:55,554
Will you take your clammy hand
off my chair?

153
00:09:55,732 --> 00:09:58,963
You have the touch
of a love-starved cobra.

154
00:09:59,136 --> 00:10:02,264
And now, will you all leave quietly,
or must I ask Miss Cutler...

155
00:10:02,472 --> 00:10:04,940
...to pass among you
with a baseball bat?

156
00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:08,202
- Now, look here...
- There is nothing to discuss, sir.

157
00:10:08,378 --> 00:10:11,814
Considering the damage I suffered,
I'm asking very little. Good day.

158
00:10:14,985 --> 00:10:18,853
- I'll call you from the office later, Daisy.
- Not on this phone, please.

159
00:10:21,258 --> 00:10:24,694
- Here is the menu for lunch.
- But I... I've ordered lunch.

160
00:10:24,861 --> 00:10:28,524
It'll be sent up to you on a tray.
I'm using the dining room for my guests.

161
00:10:28,699 --> 00:10:31,566
Where are those cigarettes?

162
00:10:31,735 --> 00:10:33,999
Why, my... My son went to get them.

163
00:10:34,171 --> 00:10:36,867
I don't know why... Here, Sarah,
here's the menu for lunch.

164
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,508
- I'll have mine on a tray upstairs.
- Yes, ma'am.

165
00:10:40,444 --> 00:10:42,912
Young lady, I cannot stand indecision.

166
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,844
Will you either go up those stairs
or come down them?

167
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,851
No, darling.

168
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:53,787
Good morning. I'm sorry I'm so late.
I had to go to three different stores.

169
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:57,916
How did you travel, by oxcart?

170
00:10:58,195 --> 00:10:59,355
Richard.

171
00:11:02,065 --> 00:11:04,431
Is there any man
who suffers as I do...

172
00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:07,195
...from the gross inadequacies
of the human race?

173
00:11:07,371 --> 00:11:08,895
Where are you going?

174
00:11:09,072 --> 00:11:10,801
Keep those canal boats
away from me.

175
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,965
Go read <i>The Life</i>
<i>of Florence Nightingale...</i>

176
00:11:13,143 --> 00:11:17,102
...and learn how unfitted you are
for your chosen profession.

177
00:11:19,049 --> 00:11:23,816
Well, I think I can safely leave you
in Miss Cutler's capable hands.

178
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:29,084
- Shall I look in again this afternoon?
- If you do, I shall spit right in your eye.

179
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,962
What a sense of humor
you writers have.

180
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,621
Oh, by the way, it's really
not worth mentioning...

181
00:11:35,799 --> 00:11:39,633
...but I've been doing a little writing
myself about my medical experiences.

182
00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:41,361
Am I to be spared nothing?

183
00:11:41,538 --> 00:11:45,167
Would it be too much to ask you
to glance over it while you're here?

184
00:11:45,342 --> 00:11:48,573
- Trapped.
- Why...

185
00:11:48,745 --> 00:11:52,647
Well, I just happen to have
a copy of it with me.

186
00:11:52,816 --> 00:11:56,718
<i>Forty Years an Ohio Doctor.</i>
The story of a humble practitioner.

187
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:58,855
I shall drop everything.

188
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:03,789
I'm much obliged. I hope you like it.
Well, I'll see you on the morrow.

189
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:08,488
Keep that hip quiet
and don't forget those little pills.

190
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:11,957
Maggie, will you take
<i>Forty Years an Ohio Butcher...</i>

191
00:12:12,135 --> 00:12:13,898
...or whatever it's called?

192
00:12:14,371 --> 00:12:18,398
I must say, you have certainly behaved
with your accustomed grace and charm.

193
00:12:18,575 --> 00:12:21,135
I'm in no mood to discuss my behavior,
good or bad.

194
00:12:21,311 --> 00:12:23,438
I didn't wish to cross
this cheerless threshold.

195
00:12:23,613 --> 00:12:25,410
I was hounded and badgered into it.

196
00:12:25,615 --> 00:12:28,379
Now I find myself,
after two weeks of wracking pain...

197
00:12:28,552 --> 00:12:30,520
...accused of behaving without charm.

198
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:32,382
What would you have me do,
kiss them?

199
00:12:32,556 --> 00:12:34,148
Very well, Sherry.

200
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:39,557
After 10 years, I should know better
than to try and improve your manners.

201
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:43,832
When I finally leave this job,
I may write a book about it.

202
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:47,366
<i>Through the Years</i>
<i>with Prince Charming.</i>

203
00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:51,007
Listen, repulsive, if we may
dismiss the subject of my charm...

204
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:54,769
...for which, incidentally, I receive
$1500 per appearance...

205
00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:57,277
...possibly we can get to work.

206
00:12:57,848 --> 00:12:59,372
Oh, no, we can't.

207
00:13:10,227 --> 00:13:13,060
My name is Harriet Stanley.

208
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:16,165
I know you are Sheridan Whiteside.

209
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:21,303
I saw this holly framed green
against the pine trees.

210
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:26,534
I remembered what you'd written
about <i>Tess</i> and <i>Jude the Obscure.</i>

211
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:31,170
It was the nicest present
I could bring you.

212
00:13:42,893 --> 00:13:47,626
- And what, may I ask, was that?
- That was Mr. Stanley's sister, Harriet.

213
00:13:47,797 --> 00:13:49,822
I talked to her a few times.
She's strange.

214
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,265
Strange? She's right out of
<i>The Hound of the Baskervilles.</i>

215
00:13:53,436 --> 00:13:56,803
- I've seen that face before somewhere.
- Nonsense. You couldn't have.

216
00:13:56,973 --> 00:13:59,305
Oh, well. Let's get to work. Here.

217
00:13:59,476 --> 00:14:03,310
Press this in the doctor's book. Did you
put through the call to Mrs. Roosevelt?

218
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,677
I called her in Portland,
but she'd already left for San Diego.

219
00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:09,375
Try her tomorrow in Phoenix.
Now, let me see.

220
00:14:09,553 --> 00:14:11,817
Send a wire to the editor
of <i>The Atlantic Monthly:</i>

221
00:14:11,988 --> 00:14:15,424
"Do not worry, Stinky.
Copy will arrive on time. Whiteside."

222
00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:18,253
Send a cable to
the Duchess of Windsor:

223
00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:22,262
"Dear Wally, can you and David meet
me in Miami, February 20th?

224
00:14:22,432 --> 00:14:24,923
Dinner, 8:30. Whiteside."

225
00:14:25,468 --> 00:14:30,030
I see no reason why I should endorse
Snug-Fit brassiere.

226
00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:33,703
- What date's this?
- December 10th.

227
00:14:33,877 --> 00:14:35,777
Send a wire to
American Broadcasting:

228
00:14:35,946 --> 00:14:39,040
"Schedule my Christmas Eve broadcast
from your New York studio...

229
00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:42,810
...as I shall return East instead
of proceeding to Hollywood. Stop.

230
00:14:42,986 --> 00:14:45,511
For New Year's Eve broadcast,
we'll have as guests...

231
00:14:45,689 --> 00:14:50,922
...Jascha Heifetz, Helen Hayes,
Schiaparelli, the Lunts, Dr. Alexis Carrel.

232
00:14:51,094 --> 00:14:55,394
With Haile Selassie on shortwave
from Addis Ababa. Whiteside."

233
00:14:56,132 --> 00:14:59,192
Well, what do you want now,
Miss Stomach Pump?

234
00:14:59,369 --> 00:15:03,169
It's your pills. One every 45 minutes.

235
00:15:03,506 --> 00:15:05,633
Thermometer puss.

236
00:15:05,809 --> 00:15:09,836
If that's for Mrs. Stanley,
tell them she's too drunk to talk.

237
00:15:10,046 --> 00:15:12,708
Hello? Yes.

238
00:15:12,882 --> 00:15:15,851
What? Palm Beach?

239
00:15:16,019 --> 00:15:17,850
Oh, just a moment.

240
00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:20,353
It's your dear friend,
Miss Lorraine Sheldon.

241
00:15:20,523 --> 00:15:22,320
Oh, give it to me.

242
00:15:22,492 --> 00:15:24,084
Hello.

243
00:15:24,294 --> 00:15:26,922
Is this my blossom girl?

244
00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:30,726
Sherry, you poor, sweet darling.
Are you all right?

245
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,198
I haven't been able to think
of anything else...

246
00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,930
...since this awful thing happened.
You poor lamb.

247
00:15:36,106 --> 00:15:37,903
- You fool!
- Sorry, Madame.

248
00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:43,034
No, no. That was Cosette.
Darling, how you must have suffered.

249
00:15:43,213 --> 00:15:45,408
I know. I know.

250
00:15:45,582 --> 00:15:48,346
Me? Oh, I'm wretched.

251
00:15:48,518 --> 00:15:50,713
I can't find a play, Sherry, dear.

252
00:15:50,887 --> 00:15:53,185
I just don't think I'll ever act again.

253
00:15:53,723 --> 00:15:57,557
Tell me, blossom, what made you take
your white body to Palm Beach?

254
00:15:57,727 --> 00:16:01,356
- Who's holding you captive?
- Oh, Lord Bottomley's in from London.

255
00:16:01,531 --> 00:16:03,692
Some mission or other.
Now, look, darling.

256
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:06,028
Take care of that sweet little hip,
will you?

257
00:16:06,202 --> 00:16:10,070
And here's a big kiss
from your blossom girl.

258
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,567
Sorry, Madame.

259
00:16:13,410 --> 00:16:17,870
- Goodbye, darling.
- Goodbye, my lotus blossom.

260
00:16:18,682 --> 00:16:22,140
"My lotus blossom."
Little Miss Stinkweed.

261
00:16:22,318 --> 00:16:25,549
Pure jealousy if I ever saw it.
Give me those wires.

262
00:16:25,722 --> 00:16:29,488
Lorraine Sheldon, Lord Bottomley,
my Aunt Fanny.

263
00:16:30,126 --> 00:16:32,959
If these people intend their friends
to use the front door...

264
00:16:33,129 --> 00:16:34,892
What should they use,
a rope ladder?

265
00:16:35,065 --> 00:16:38,865
I will not have itinerant firemen
rushing in and out of this house.

266
00:16:39,135 --> 00:16:41,831
- Good morning, Mr. Jefferson.
- Morning, John. Mr. Whiteside in?

267
00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:43,768
- Yes, sir.
- There's nobody home.

268
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:47,432
The Stanleys have been arrested
for peddling dope. Go away.

269
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,942
Good morning. I'm Jefferson
of the <i>Mesalia Journal.</i>

270
00:16:50,113 --> 00:16:53,014
- Remember? I met you at the station.
- Get rid of him, Maggie.

271
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:55,913
I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson.
Mr. Whiteside is seeing no one.

272
00:16:56,086 --> 00:16:58,020
- Really?
- So will you excuse us?

273
00:16:58,188 --> 00:17:00,383
Mr. Whiteside seems to be taking notice.

274
00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:04,015
I'm afraid he's not taking notice
of the <i>Mesalia Journal.</i>

275
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:07,288
If I'm gonna be insulted,
I'd like it to be by Mr. Whiteside.

276
00:17:07,464 --> 00:17:11,924
- I never did like carbon copies.
- Oh, touch�, if I ever heard one.

277
00:17:12,102 --> 00:17:14,969
- And in Mesalia too, Maggie, dear.
- Will you please leave?

278
00:17:15,138 --> 00:17:18,198
- How about an interview, Mr. Whiteside?
- I never give them. Go away.

279
00:17:18,374 --> 00:17:20,968
If I don't get this interview,
I lose my job.

280
00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:25,103
- That would be all right with me.
- You don't mean that, Mr. Whiteside.

281
00:17:25,281 --> 00:17:28,444
You used to be a newspaper man.
You know what editors are like.

282
00:17:28,618 --> 00:17:31,712
- Mine's the toughest one ever.
- You won't get around me that way.

283
00:17:31,921 --> 00:17:35,049
- If you don't like him, get off the paper.
- But I think it's good.

284
00:17:35,225 --> 00:17:38,194
William Allen White could've
left Emporia, but he didn't.

285
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:42,195
You have the effrontery to compare
yourself with William Allen White?

286
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,560
Only in the sense that White
stayed in Emporia.

287
00:17:44,734 --> 00:17:46,793
I'd like to stay and say what I want.

288
00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:50,030
- Such as what?
- I can't put it into words, Mr. Whiteside.

289
00:17:50,206 --> 00:17:52,197
It would sound like
an awful lot of hooey.

290
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,070
The <i>Journal</i> was my father's paper.

291
00:17:54,244 --> 00:17:58,180
It's kind of a sentimental point with me.
I'd like to carry on where he left off.

292
00:17:59,215 --> 00:18:01,979
- So you own this paper.
- That's right.

293
00:18:02,152 --> 00:18:06,987
This terrifying editor, this dread
journalistic Armageddon, is you?

294
00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:10,820
- In a word, yes.
- I see.

295
00:18:11,995 --> 00:18:15,556
Sherry, the next time
you do not want to see anybody...

296
00:18:15,732 --> 00:18:19,327
...just let me know,
and I'll usher them right in.

297
00:18:19,502 --> 00:18:21,333
Young man, come over here.

298
00:18:21,504 --> 00:18:24,769
I suppose you have written
that great American novel?

299
00:18:24,974 --> 00:18:27,067
No, I've written
that great American play.

300
00:18:27,243 --> 00:18:29,040
Well, I don't wanna read it.

301
00:18:29,746 --> 00:18:32,874
Do these old eyes of mine
see a box of goodies over there?

302
00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:34,880
Hand them to me, will you?

303
00:18:35,051 --> 00:18:37,417
The trouble is
that your being in this town...

304
00:18:37,587 --> 00:18:41,216
...comes under the heading of news,
so I just gotta get a story.

305
00:18:41,391 --> 00:18:43,859
Pecan butternut fudge.

306
00:18:44,027 --> 00:18:47,895
Oh, my. You mustn't eat candy,
Mr. Whiteside. It's very bad for you.

307
00:18:48,064 --> 00:18:52,228
My Great-Aunt Jennifer ate a whole box
of candy every day of her life.

308
00:18:52,402 --> 00:18:55,235
She lived to be 102,
and when she'd been dead three days...

309
00:18:55,405 --> 00:18:57,999
...she looked better than you do now.

310
00:19:00,777 --> 00:19:03,746
Now you've won me with your
pretty way, have a piece of candy.

311
00:19:03,913 --> 00:19:06,746
- Thanks.
- I'll grant you a one-minute interview.

312
00:19:06,916 --> 00:19:08,247
What do you wanna know?

313
00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:10,750
How do you think Ohio women
stack up against?

314
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,447
Well, I've never gone in for stacking up
women, so I really can't say.

315
00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:18,390
What do you think of Mesalia? How long
you gonna be here? Where you going?

316
00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:23,225
Oh, very well. A, Mesalia
is a town of irresistible charm.

317
00:19:23,399 --> 00:19:26,926
B, I cannot wait to get out of it.
C, I'm going from here to Crockfield...

318
00:19:27,103 --> 00:19:30,129
...for my semiannual visit to
the Home for Paroled Convicts...

319
00:19:30,306 --> 00:19:33,639
...for which I have raised
half a million dollars the past five years.

320
00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:37,439
Filched from the pockets of an
all-too-gullible and long-suffering public.

321
00:19:37,614 --> 00:19:40,640
- Will you sign here?
- This aging debutante, Mr. Jefferson...

322
00:19:40,817 --> 00:19:43,843
...I retain in my employ only because
she is the sole support...

323
00:19:44,053 --> 00:19:46,578
...of her two-headed brother.

324
00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:50,289
Thank you.

325
00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:52,428
- Do you play gin rummy?
- I sure do.

326
00:19:52,595 --> 00:19:53,994
Fine. How much can you lose?

327
00:19:54,163 --> 00:19:56,256
- I generally win.
- We won't discuss that.

328
00:19:56,432 --> 00:19:59,799
Come back at 8:30. We'll play
three-handed with Elsie Dinsmore.

329
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:01,800
By the way, you owe me a dollar.

330
00:20:01,971 --> 00:20:04,462
- What for?
- At the station, the dollar you borrowed.

331
00:20:04,641 --> 00:20:07,701
You pay a healthier income tax
than I do. Give.

332
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:10,710
Maggie, make out a check
for this miserable moneychanger.

333
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,144
Make the check out to Bertram H.

334
00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:17,285
- That must be my luncheon guests.
- I beg your pardon?

335
00:20:17,453 --> 00:20:20,945
Just a few murderers from the Crockfield
Home at the state penitentiary.

336
00:20:21,124 --> 00:20:23,456
The fact that Mr. Whiteside
happens to be...

337
00:20:23,626 --> 00:20:26,789
...the nation's foremost authority
on murders and murder trials...

338
00:20:26,963 --> 00:20:28,624
...forms a bond between them.

339
00:20:28,798 --> 00:20:31,392
By the way, Jefferson,
how about staying for lunch?

340
00:20:31,601 --> 00:20:33,364
Oh, glad to.

341
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,527
That will cost you a dollar.

342
00:20:35,705 --> 00:20:38,367
There will be one more,
please, Maggie.

343
00:20:39,008 --> 00:20:40,908
- Mr. Whiteside at home?
- Yeah.

344
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:43,044
We're here for lunch.

345
00:20:45,014 --> 00:20:46,914
Come right in, gentlemen.

346
00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:50,147
- You're Mr. Whiteside?
- That's right.

347
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,049
- Line up there, boys.
- Good morning.

348
00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:53,745
- Hi.
- Jefferson...

349
00:20:53,923 --> 00:20:57,484
...these lads formed a Sheridan
Whiteside club at the penitentiary.

350
00:20:57,660 --> 00:20:59,651
They listen to every one
of my broadcasts.

351
00:20:59,829 --> 00:21:02,992
I arranged with the warden
to have them come for luncheon.

352
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:06,158
You're Michaelson, aren't you?
Did the drainpipe murders?

353
00:21:06,336 --> 00:21:09,567
- Yes, sir.
- Thought I recognized you.

354
00:21:09,739 --> 00:21:12,867
The one on this end, Jefferson,
is Haggerty, the hatchet fiend.

355
00:21:13,042 --> 00:21:15,875
Always chopped them up
in a salad bowl, remember?

356
00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:18,343
- How do you do?
- Hi.

357
00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:21,210
- Lunch is ready.
- Good, we'll go right in.

358
00:21:21,384 --> 00:21:23,011
- Can I help you?
- Yes, thank you.

359
00:21:23,186 --> 00:21:24,710
- After you.
- All right, boys.

360
00:21:24,887 --> 00:21:28,345
We're having chicken livers tetrazzini
and cherries jubilee for dessert.

361
00:21:28,524 --> 00:21:31,391
- What? No salad bowl, Mr. Whiteside?
- No, Haggerty.

362
00:21:31,561 --> 00:21:33,859
I do not wish to place temptation
in your path.

363
00:21:34,030 --> 00:21:36,760
I hope every little tummy is aflutter
with gastric juices.

364
00:21:36,933 --> 00:21:39,367
Close the doors, John.
We don't want a lot of people...

365
00:21:39,535 --> 00:21:42,231
...prying on their betters.
- Yes, sir.

366
00:21:47,577 --> 00:21:49,670
Hello, Mr. Stanley. Would you sign?

367
00:21:49,846 --> 00:21:51,575
- What is it?
- We're not quite sure.

368
00:21:51,748 --> 00:21:54,114
It's for Mr. Whiteside
from a William Beebe.

369
00:21:54,283 --> 00:21:57,309
William Beebe?
Why, he's the great naturalist.

370
00:22:00,823 --> 00:22:02,950
- Good heavens. It's an octopus!
- That's it.

371
00:22:03,126 --> 00:22:05,993
I knew there was a "pus"
in the name somewheres.

372
00:22:07,230 --> 00:22:09,391
When you return to
the University of Canton...

373
00:22:09,565 --> 00:22:12,728
...I want you to take a message for me
to Professor Chung-Wong Lu.

374
00:22:12,902 --> 00:22:16,463
- We went to Hamilton together.
- Mr. Whiteside!

375
00:22:22,745 --> 00:22:24,838
Sit down, gentlemen.
This isn't anybody.

376
00:22:25,014 --> 00:22:27,881
- There's an octopus at the door.
- Good. Bring him in.

377
00:22:28,051 --> 00:22:31,043
Now I'll have somebody intelligent
to talk to in the evenings.

378
00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:34,849
Mr. Whiteside, I warn you, I will not
have that monster in my house.

379
00:22:35,024 --> 00:22:38,084
Well, there's always a motel for you
if you're finicky.

380
00:22:38,261 --> 00:22:39,819
Right in here.

381
00:22:41,164 --> 00:22:45,965
- A little playmate for you, Mr. Whiteside.
- Good. Put it right down here.

382
00:22:47,904 --> 00:22:50,099
My, what a charming little creature.

383
00:22:50,273 --> 00:22:52,935
- Mr. Stanley, what's your first name?
- Ernest. Why?

384
00:22:53,109 --> 00:22:55,942
Boys, take Ernest down to the basement,
will you please?

385
00:22:56,112 --> 00:22:58,103
What? Mr. Whiteside, there is a limit.

386
00:22:58,281 --> 00:23:01,944
- I warn you, I'm a patient man, but...
- Dinner is served, Mr. Whiteside.

387
00:23:02,118 --> 00:23:05,986
Daisy, where is that
bicarbonate of soda?

388
00:23:14,964 --> 00:23:18,161
Daisy, this is the end.
I've stood all I'm going to stand.

389
00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:22,327
- Where's that telephone bill?
- Now, Ernest, please listen to me.

390
00:23:24,173 --> 00:23:26,903
John, tell Sarah the lobster Newburg
is absolutely superb.

391
00:23:27,076 --> 00:23:30,512
- Yes, Mr. Whiteside. Thank you.
- Mr. Whiteside, I wanna talk to you.

392
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,581
- I've stood all I'm going to stand.
- Ignore the interruption.

393
00:23:33,783 --> 00:23:36,547
The past 10 days, we haven't
called our souls our own.

394
00:23:36,719 --> 00:23:38,914
We haven't had a meal
in this room once.

395
00:23:39,088 --> 00:23:42,114
I came home last week and found
convicts sitting at my dinner table.

396
00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:44,589
- Drainpipe murderers. And now...
- Now, Ernest...

397
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,854
Please. I go into my bathroom
and bump into two more.

398
00:23:48,030 --> 00:23:50,191
I won't stand for it,
no matter who you are.

399
00:23:50,366 --> 00:23:52,664
- Have you quite finished?
- No, sir, I have not.

400
00:23:52,835 --> 00:23:56,430
This bill from the telephone company
for $784.

401
00:23:56,606 --> 00:24:00,872
Oklahoma City, Rome, Calcutta,
Hollywood, Buenos Aries...

402
00:24:01,043 --> 00:24:03,409
...New York, New York, New York.

403
00:24:03,579 --> 00:24:05,342
- But, Ernest...
- Leave me alone.

404
00:24:05,515 --> 00:24:08,848
Mr. Whiteside, I want you to leave
this house as soon as you can...

405
00:24:09,018 --> 00:24:11,919
...and go to a hotel.
Stop pawing me, Daisy!

406
00:24:12,088 --> 00:24:14,181
That's all I have to say to you,
Mr. Whiteside.

407
00:24:14,357 --> 00:24:15,949
And quite enough, I should say.

408
00:24:16,125 --> 00:24:19,583
If you insist upon my leaving,
thereby causing me to suffer a relapse...

409
00:24:19,762 --> 00:24:22,890
...I shall sue you for every
additional day I am held inactive...

410
00:24:23,065 --> 00:24:25,431
...which will amount, I assure you,
to a tidy sum.

411
00:24:25,601 --> 00:24:28,729
- This is outrageous.
- As for your petty complaints...

412
00:24:28,905 --> 00:24:31,135
...these gentlemen came
from the White House...

413
00:24:31,307 --> 00:24:33,901
...where, I assure you,
they used the bathroom too.

414
00:24:34,076 --> 00:24:36,636
- Ernest didn't...
- I did too. I meant every word.

415
00:24:36,846 --> 00:24:39,610
There's only one point
in which I see slight justice.

416
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:43,741
I do not expect you to pay for my calls,
and I shall see that restitution is made.

417
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,412
- Can you provide the exact amount?
- I certainly can and I certainly will.

418
00:24:47,590 --> 00:24:50,957
Good. I shall instruct my lawyers
to deduct it from the $150,000...

419
00:24:51,127 --> 00:24:53,095
...that I am suing you for.

420
00:24:54,263 --> 00:24:56,993
Let me ask you, gentlemen,
is it true that in China...

421
00:24:57,166 --> 00:24:59,600
...you drown middle-aged businessmen
at birth?

422
00:25:22,458 --> 00:25:25,120
Oh, I'm sorry, Maggie.

423
00:25:25,294 --> 00:25:28,058
I understand now why Sonja Heine
makes so much money.

424
00:25:28,231 --> 00:25:30,665
You can't learn to skate
without taking a spill or two.

425
00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:33,131
- You've got pretty good balance.
- I should have.

426
00:25:33,302 --> 00:25:36,100
I cut a mean figure eight
at the Stork Club.

427
00:25:36,272 --> 00:25:38,706
You wanna sit down? Hiya, Jack.

428
00:25:38,908 --> 00:25:41,001
And I didn't even say yes.

429
00:25:41,177 --> 00:25:43,839
I'm sorry, Maggie.
Come on, let's go sit by the fire.

430
00:25:44,013 --> 00:25:47,039
Don't you ever wave again
unless you see the Statue of Liberty.

431
00:25:47,216 --> 00:25:49,116
Okay.

432
00:25:52,722 --> 00:25:55,691
Hi, Paul. What do you say?
What do you say, Jack?

433
00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:57,553
- Hello, Mary.
- Hi.

434
00:25:57,727 --> 00:26:00,628
- How's the ice?
- Hard.

435
00:26:00,796 --> 00:26:02,559
How is it, Sam? Gertie?

436
00:26:02,732 --> 00:26:04,632
You know more people
than a headwaiter.

437
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,361
Well, I admit, I'm popular. Here I am,
the most attractive man in town.

438
00:26:08,537 --> 00:26:09,868
- Are you?
- Sure.

439
00:26:10,039 --> 00:26:12,564
We ran a contest in the paper
last week, and I won.

440
00:26:12,742 --> 00:26:15,506
Of course, I own the paper,
but that's just a coincidence.

441
00:26:15,678 --> 00:26:18,078
- How about a hot sweet potato?
- A what?

442
00:26:18,247 --> 00:26:21,512
Oh, sweet potato. That's what they
serve at 21 with pineapple glac�.

443
00:26:21,684 --> 00:26:24,676
- Hey, Freddie.
- Yes, Mr. Jefferson?

444
00:26:27,523 --> 00:26:30,856
- Two sweets.
- Best in the West.

445
00:26:32,328 --> 00:26:33,886
Hot.

446
00:26:34,730 --> 00:26:36,595
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr. Jefferson.

447
00:26:37,366 --> 00:26:40,858
- How's your back?
- Broken, thank you.

448
00:26:43,205 --> 00:26:46,902
Maggie, I was wondering, I don't know
if I'm making a hit with you or not.

449
00:26:47,076 --> 00:26:48,839
You're doing all right.

450
00:26:49,011 --> 00:26:51,070
- Are you having fun, Maggie?
- I'm loving it.

451
00:26:51,247 --> 00:26:52,612
Good.

452
00:26:54,750 --> 00:26:58,186
- You got a girl, Bert?
- Oh, not particularly. Why?

453
00:26:58,354 --> 00:27:01,551
I was just wondering. You know,
most attractive man in town.

454
00:27:01,724 --> 00:27:05,785
Funny thing is, you are sort of attractive
in a corn-fed sort of way.

455
00:27:05,995 --> 00:27:08,555
I can imagine some poor girl
falling for you if...

456
00:27:08,731 --> 00:27:11,529
Well, if you threw in a set of dishes.

457
00:27:11,901 --> 00:27:14,096
Well, I've got the dishes.

458
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:19,564
"Her footsteps quicken.

459
00:27:19,742 --> 00:27:22,233
Calmly and quietly,
she goes through the doorway...

460
00:27:22,411 --> 00:27:24,072
...and the door closes behind her.

461
00:27:24,246 --> 00:27:27,807
There's a moment's silence,
and the curtain falls."

462
00:27:28,784 --> 00:27:30,945
Well, Maggie, there it is.

463
00:27:31,654 --> 00:27:35,090
It's wonderful. I think it's a fine play.

464
00:27:35,257 --> 00:27:38,385
Honestly, Maggie?
You telling me the truth?

465
00:27:38,561 --> 00:27:41,428
It's better than that.
I think it's great.

466
00:27:41,597 --> 00:27:44,088
May I take it with me?
I wanna read it again myself.

467
00:27:44,266 --> 00:27:47,394
Sure. You like it as much as that, huh?

468
00:27:48,938 --> 00:27:51,236
Bert Jefferson, you're quite a guy.

469
00:27:53,142 --> 00:27:54,803
Say.

470
00:27:54,977 --> 00:27:57,605
I'll write another one right away.

471
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,772
There, you see how good it is?
I've forgotten the time.

472
00:28:01,951 --> 00:28:03,748
I must go.

473
00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:23,099
Miss Preen?

474
00:28:25,841 --> 00:28:28,867
Miss Preen!

475
00:28:29,712 --> 00:28:31,441
What have you got
in there, a sailor?

476
00:28:31,614 --> 00:28:33,809
I was just fixing your medicine,
Mr. Whiteside.

477
00:28:33,983 --> 00:28:36,611
- Has Miss Cutler come in?
- I don't know, Mr. Whiteside.

478
00:28:36,786 --> 00:28:39,380
- At least I haven't seen her.
- Are you sure?

479
00:28:39,588 --> 00:28:42,853
I'm not sure of anything
anymore, Mr. Whiteside.

480
00:28:43,025 --> 00:28:47,485
- Here's your medicine.
- All right, all right. Go back to the Navy.

481
00:29:14,523 --> 00:29:16,252
Come here, you two.

482
00:29:16,425 --> 00:29:19,360
Come on, come on.
I'm not going to bite you.

483
00:29:19,528 --> 00:29:23,396
Now, look here. I am, by nature,
a gracious and charming person.

484
00:29:23,566 --> 00:29:27,662
I'm afraid when we first met, I was
unpleasant to you. For that, I am sorry.

485
00:29:27,837 --> 00:29:31,568
I wish in the future you won't treat me
like something out of Edgar Allan Poe.

486
00:29:31,740 --> 00:29:33,708
- How do you like my tie?
- Oh, thank you.

487
00:29:33,876 --> 00:29:36,572
This makes things so much pleasanter.
Your tie is pretty.

488
00:29:36,745 --> 00:29:40,841
Now that we're speaking, I don't mind
saying I've been admiring all your ties.

489
00:29:41,016 --> 00:29:42,574
- You like this one?
- I certainly do.

490
00:29:42,751 --> 00:29:44,241
- It's yours.
- Well, thanks.

491
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:48,186
Really, this curious legend
that I am difficult is pure fabrication.

492
00:29:48,357 --> 00:29:51,224
Ice-skating, eh? Ah, me.

493
00:29:51,393 --> 00:29:54,055
I used to cut figure eights,
arm in arm with Betsy Ross...

494
00:29:54,230 --> 00:29:57,597
...waving the flag behind us.
- It was wonderful on the ice tonight.

495
00:29:57,766 --> 00:30:00,030
Miss Cutler and Mr. Jefferson
were there.

496
00:30:00,269 --> 00:30:02,760
- Maggie? Skating?
- I got a marvelous picture of her.

497
00:30:02,938 --> 00:30:04,963
They seemed to be having
a wonderful time.

498
00:30:05,174 --> 00:30:07,005
Did they indeed?

499
00:30:07,176 --> 00:30:09,644
Would you mind if I took
a picture? I'd love one.

500
00:30:09,812 --> 00:30:12,406
Very well. Do you want my profile?

501
00:30:12,982 --> 00:30:16,281
Afraid you're done for, Mr. Whiteside.
My brother's a camera fiend.

502
00:30:16,452 --> 00:30:18,386
Thanks, Mr. Whiteside.
I got a great one.

503
00:30:18,554 --> 00:30:19,885
- Good night.
- Good night.

504
00:30:20,055 --> 00:30:21,386
Good night.

505
00:30:37,973 --> 00:30:39,941
Dear Mr. Whiteside.

506
00:30:40,109 --> 00:30:42,509
How wonderful to find you alone.

507
00:30:42,711 --> 00:30:45,942
I've been wanting to show you
a few mementos of the past.

508
00:30:46,115 --> 00:30:48,811
I somehow feel that you
will love them as I do.

509
00:30:48,984 --> 00:30:50,315
Why, I'd be delighted.

510
00:30:50,486 --> 00:30:53,853
Miss Stanley, haven't we met
somewhere before?

511
00:30:54,023 --> 00:30:56,958
No. I would have remembered.

512
00:30:57,126 --> 00:30:59,788
It would have been one
of my cherished memories...

513
00:30:59,962 --> 00:31:01,429
...like these.

514
00:31:01,597 --> 00:31:06,330
Look, there I am with my first
sweetheart under our beechwood tree.

515
00:31:08,070 --> 00:31:12,507
I was 8, and he was 10.
I have never forgotten him.

516
00:31:12,675 --> 00:31:15,337
What happy times we had.

517
00:31:15,511 --> 00:31:18,241
What precious hours.

518
00:31:19,181 --> 00:31:22,275
Good night, dear Mr. Whiteside.

519
00:31:22,451 --> 00:31:24,146
Good night.

520
00:31:27,256 --> 00:31:29,747
Happy, happy dreams.

521
00:31:45,174 --> 00:31:47,165
Good evening.

522
00:31:50,279 --> 00:31:53,578
Really, Sherry, you've got this room
looking like an old parrot cage.

523
00:31:55,317 --> 00:31:57,547
Did you have a nap while I was out?

524
00:31:59,488 --> 00:32:02,082
What's the matter, dear?
Cat got your tongue?

525
00:32:02,291 --> 00:32:05,556
Don't look at me with those
great cow eyes, you simpering Sappho.

526
00:32:05,728 --> 00:32:08,856
Where have you been all night,
playing house with Bert Jefferson?

527
00:32:09,031 --> 00:32:12,728
I had the most wonderful evening.
I've been ice-skating for the first time.

528
00:32:12,901 --> 00:32:16,598
I'm the first person to do a figure eight
from a sitting position.

529
00:32:16,772 --> 00:32:18,467
We are not amused.

530
00:32:19,041 --> 00:32:22,738
Bert read me his play. It's superb.
It's not just a play by a newspaperman.

531
00:32:22,911 --> 00:32:25,379
It's really superb,
cries out for Cornell.

532
00:32:25,547 --> 00:32:27,606
Will you send it to her?
Will you read it?

533
00:32:27,816 --> 00:32:30,512
No, I will not read it tonight
or any other time.

534
00:32:30,686 --> 00:32:34,213
You might tell Mr. Jefferson
that I'm suing him for your salary...

535
00:32:34,390 --> 00:32:36,881
...since he takes up all your time.

536
00:32:37,059 --> 00:32:40,358
- Sherry, it's not as bad as all that.
- I haven't been able to reach you...

537
00:32:40,529 --> 00:32:42,929
...not knowing what ice-cream parlors
you frequent.

538
00:32:43,098 --> 00:32:45,589
You're acting
like a very spoiled child, Sherry.

539
00:32:45,768 --> 00:32:49,260
Don't take that patronizing tone
with me, you flea-bitten Cleopatra.

540
00:32:49,438 --> 00:32:53,898
I'm sick and tired of your sneaking out
every time my back is turned.

541
00:32:54,076 --> 00:32:56,874
I'm afraid you've hit the nail
on the head.

542
00:32:57,046 --> 00:33:00,641
Stop acting like ZaSu Pitts
and explain yourself.

543
00:33:01,417 --> 00:33:03,544
Well, I'll be quick about it.

544
00:33:04,219 --> 00:33:06,483
- I'm in love.
- Nonsense.

545
00:33:06,655 --> 00:33:08,384
This is merely delayed adolescence.

546
00:33:08,557 --> 00:33:12,118
No, Sherry, you're just about to lose
a very excellent secretary.

547
00:33:12,294 --> 00:33:15,127
- You're out of your mind.
- Yes, I think I am a little.

548
00:33:15,297 --> 00:33:19,927
I'm a girl who's waited a long time
for this to happen to her. Now it has.

549
00:33:20,102 --> 00:33:22,161
Mr. Jefferson doesn't know it yet...

550
00:33:22,371 --> 00:33:25,238
...but I'm going to try
my darnedest to marry him.

551
00:33:25,407 --> 00:33:28,774
- Is that all?
- Well, yes, except that...

552
00:33:28,944 --> 00:33:31,936
...this is my resignation as soon
as you can find someone else.

553
00:33:32,114 --> 00:33:34,480
Listen to me.
We've been together a long time.

554
00:33:34,650 --> 00:33:37,141
You are indispensable,
but I'm unselfish enough...

555
00:33:37,319 --> 00:33:40,015
...not to let that stand in the way
of your happiness.

556
00:33:40,189 --> 00:33:43,920
- Because I have a deep affection for you.
- I know that, Sherry.

557
00:33:44,093 --> 00:33:46,687
So I will not stand by
and see you make a fool of yourself.

558
00:33:46,862 --> 00:33:48,921
- But I'm not.
- You are, my dear.

559
00:33:49,098 --> 00:33:52,795
You're behaving like Tillie the Toiler.
Oh, it's incredible.

560
00:33:53,702 --> 00:33:57,399
I don't know how it's happened, Sherry.
I can only tell you that it has.

561
00:33:57,573 --> 00:34:01,339
It's hard for me to believe, myself.
Here I am, a hard-bitten old cynic...

562
00:34:01,510 --> 00:34:04,172
...behaving like Winnie the Pooh
and liking it.

563
00:34:04,346 --> 00:34:06,940
Discovering the moonlight
and ice-skating and...

564
00:34:07,116 --> 00:34:10,745
We're leaving here tomorrow. Hip
or no hip, we are leaving here tomorrow.

565
00:34:10,919 --> 00:34:14,650
I don't care if I fracture the other one.
You get me a train schedule and pack.

566
00:34:14,823 --> 00:34:17,815
I'll pull you out of this, Miss Stardust.
I'll get the ants out...

567
00:34:17,993 --> 00:34:22,794
It's no good, Sherry. It's no good.
I'd be back on the first streamline train.

568
00:34:22,965 --> 00:34:26,128
It's completely unbelievable.
Can you see yourself...

569
00:34:26,301 --> 00:34:29,270
...the wife of the editor
of the <i>Mesalia Journal</i>?

570
00:34:29,438 --> 00:34:31,838
Having an evening at home
for Mr. and Mrs. Stanley...

571
00:34:32,007 --> 00:34:33,770
...Mr. and Mrs. Dribblepuss...

572
00:34:33,942 --> 00:34:37,309
...and the members of the
Big Sisters Benevolent Association?

573
00:34:37,713 --> 00:34:40,409
Sherry, I've had 10 years of
the great figures of our time.

574
00:34:40,582 --> 00:34:44,109
And don't think I'm not grateful.
I've loved every minute of it.

575
00:34:44,286 --> 00:34:47,585
They've been wonderful years,
gay and stimulating.

576
00:34:47,756 --> 00:34:50,748
I don't think anybody's had more fun
than we've had.

577
00:34:51,026 --> 00:34:54,325
But a girl can't laugh
all the time, Sherry.

578
00:34:54,496 --> 00:34:56,862
There comes a time
when she wants...

579
00:34:57,699 --> 00:34:58,927
...Bert Jefferson.

580
00:34:59,101 --> 00:35:03,868
You don't know Bert, Sherry. He's
gentle and he's unassuming and he's...

581
00:35:04,039 --> 00:35:06,371
- Well, I love him. That's all.
- I see.

582
00:35:06,542 --> 00:35:08,476
I remain completely unconvinced.

583
00:35:08,644 --> 00:35:11,545
You're drugging yourself
into this Ginger Rogers fantasy.

584
00:35:11,713 --> 00:35:13,647
Before you become
completely anesthetized...

585
00:35:13,816 --> 00:35:16,751
...I shall do everything in my power
to bring you to your senses.

586
00:35:16,919 --> 00:35:18,682
Now you listen to me, Whiteside.

587
00:35:18,854 --> 00:35:22,517
You lay off. I know you.
I know what a devil you can be.

588
00:35:22,691 --> 00:35:26,354
I know what you've done to other
people, but you won't do it to me.

589
00:35:26,528 --> 00:35:30,328
And don't drug yourself with the idea
that you're thinking of my happiness.

590
00:35:30,499 --> 00:35:33,491
You're thinking of all those months
of breaking in somebody new.

591
00:35:33,669 --> 00:35:37,036
I've seen you in a passion before
when your life has been disrupted...

592
00:35:37,206 --> 00:35:42,143
...and you couldn't dine on July 12th in
Calcutta with the maharajah this or that.

593
00:35:42,311 --> 00:35:44,040
Well, that's too bad, Sherry.

594
00:35:44,213 --> 00:35:48,274
But there it is.
I'm going to marry Bert...

595
00:35:48,483 --> 00:35:50,280
...if he'll have me.

596
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:55,518
Don't you pull any of your tricks on me,
because I'm onto every one of them.

597
00:35:56,024 --> 00:35:58,219
That's my message to you...

598
00:36:00,162 --> 00:36:02,426
...big Lord Fauntleroy.

599
00:36:28,457 --> 00:36:30,550
Long distance, please.

600
00:36:32,561 --> 00:36:36,395
Hello, long distance?
This is Mesalia 142.

601
00:36:38,901 --> 00:36:41,699
I want to speak to
Palm Beach, Florida.

602
00:36:42,070 --> 00:36:44,368
Miss Lorraine Sheldon.

603
00:36:44,907 --> 00:36:47,273
S-H-E-L-D-O-N.

604
00:36:47,576 --> 00:36:51,535
She's at the home
of Lord Cedric Bottomley, Palm Beach.

605
00:36:52,447 --> 00:36:53,971
Well, will it take long?

606
00:36:54,983 --> 00:36:57,417
All right, my name is Whiteside.

607
00:36:57,886 --> 00:36:59,649
Thank you.

608
00:37:00,689 --> 00:37:02,554
- Good evening, John.
- Good evening, doctor.

609
00:37:06,061 --> 00:37:10,395
- Well, good evening, Mr. Whiteside.
- Come back tomorrow. I'm very busy.

610
00:37:10,565 --> 00:37:14,228
Yeah, I know it's rather late. But I've
got something wonderful to tell you.

611
00:37:14,403 --> 00:37:18,169
Now, what would be the very best news
that I could possibly bring you?

612
00:37:18,373 --> 00:37:19,931
You have hydrophobia.

613
00:37:20,676 --> 00:37:23,167
Yes. No, no, Mr. Whiteside.

614
00:37:23,378 --> 00:37:26,142
You're a well man.
You can get up and walk.

615
00:37:26,315 --> 00:37:29,250
- You can leave here tomorrow.
- What do you mean?

616
00:37:29,418 --> 00:37:31,648
Well, sir, I looked
at the x-rays again tonight.

617
00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:34,948
And what do you know,
I've been looking at the wrong x-rays.

618
00:37:35,123 --> 00:37:39,992
I've been looking at old Mrs. Moffat's
x-rays. You're absolutely perfectly well.

619
00:37:40,162 --> 00:37:42,460
- Lower your voice, please.
- What's the matter?

620
00:37:42,631 --> 00:37:45,464
- Aren't you pleased?
- Well, delighted, of course. Naturally.

621
00:37:45,634 --> 00:37:48,296
But it's a rather unexpected bit
of news, however.

622
00:37:48,470 --> 00:37:51,030
It comes at a very curious moment. I...

623
00:37:52,007 --> 00:37:55,443
Doctor, I have some good news
for you too. I've been reading your book.

624
00:37:55,610 --> 00:37:57,976
<i>- Forty Years...</i> What's it called?
<i>- An Ohio Doctor.</i>

625
00:37:58,146 --> 00:38:02,446
I consider it to be one of the greatest
literary contributions of our time.

626
00:38:02,617 --> 00:38:05,177
- Mr. Whiteside.
- So strongly do I feel about this...

627
00:38:05,354 --> 00:38:09,290
...that I have a proposition to make you.
The book's a little uneven.

628
00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:13,485
What I should like to do is to stay here
in Mesalia and work with you on it.

629
00:38:13,662 --> 00:38:17,029
Oh, Mr. Whiteside,
I should be so terribly honored.

630
00:38:17,199 --> 00:38:19,360
Yes, but there's just one
slight difficulty.

631
00:38:19,534 --> 00:38:22,992
If my lecture bureau and my radio
sponsors were to learn I am well...

632
00:38:23,171 --> 00:38:27,073
...they'd insist upon my fulfilling my
contracts. I would be forced to leave.

633
00:38:27,242 --> 00:38:30,177
Therefore, we must not tell anyone
at all that I am well.

634
00:38:30,345 --> 00:38:32,973
- I see. I see.
- Not even Miss Cutler. You understand?

635
00:38:33,148 --> 00:38:36,345
- I won't. Not a soul, not even my wife.
- That's fine.

636
00:38:36,518 --> 00:38:40,716
Mr. Whiteside, when shall we start
work on my book? Tonight, late as it is?

637
00:38:40,889 --> 00:38:45,087
I've just got one patient that's dying.
Then I'll be perfectly free.

638
00:38:45,727 --> 00:38:48,696
Tomorrow morning. This is a private call,
if you'll excuse me.

639
00:38:48,864 --> 00:38:51,856
Yes? Hello. Yes, I'm on.

640
00:38:52,401 --> 00:38:54,869
- Good night, doctor. Good night.
- Good night.

641
00:38:55,037 --> 00:38:57,471
I'll be here early in the morning.

642
00:38:59,474 --> 00:39:03,274
Hello? Is this my blossom girl?

643
00:39:03,445 --> 00:39:07,541
Sherry, my sweet.
How are you, darling?

644
00:39:08,617 --> 00:39:12,417
Lorraine, my blossom, I have
the most wonderful news for you.

645
00:39:12,587 --> 00:39:16,421
I've been reading the most brilliant play
with an enchanting part in it for you.

646
00:39:16,591 --> 00:39:19,856
- Why, you're on-stage every minute.
- Darling.

647
00:39:20,495 --> 00:39:21,985
What?

648
00:39:22,564 --> 00:39:26,694
Darling, why do I have to come there?
Can't you send it to me?

649
00:39:26,868 --> 00:39:29,268
Lord Cedric's bringing the yacht
down tomorrow.

650
00:39:29,438 --> 00:39:31,804
Now, wait, wait, let me explain.

651
00:39:32,007 --> 00:39:34,441
The author is a young newspaperman
here in town.

652
00:39:34,609 --> 00:39:36,099
His name is Bert Jefferson.

653
00:39:36,278 --> 00:39:39,873
He wants Katherine Cornell. But if you
jump on a train and get out here...

654
00:39:40,048 --> 00:39:42,881
...I think you could swing it
if you play your cards right.

655
00:39:43,051 --> 00:39:47,385
What? No!
He's young, very attractive.

656
00:39:47,789 --> 00:39:50,155
Why, he's just your dish, my dear.

657
00:39:50,459 --> 00:39:53,792
It just takes a little doing,
and you're the girl that can do it.

658
00:39:54,129 --> 00:39:55,653
Isn't that exciting, my pet?

659
00:39:57,332 --> 00:40:00,768
Oh, yes. I understand.

660
00:40:00,936 --> 00:40:03,063
Sherry, you're the dear sweet
of the world...

661
00:40:03,238 --> 00:40:05,798
...and I'll take the first train
tomorrow morning.

662
00:40:05,974 --> 00:40:09,307
Good-looking too, huh?
I can hardly wait.

663
00:40:09,478 --> 00:40:14,609
And, look, don't send me any messages.
Just get on a train and arrive.

664
00:40:16,118 --> 00:40:18,143
That's my blossom girl.

665
00:40:18,954 --> 00:40:20,854
Goodbye.

666
00:40:26,094 --> 00:40:28,494
- I forgot your sleeping tablet.
- Hello, Miss Preen!

667
00:40:28,663 --> 00:40:32,463
My, you're looking radiant this evening.
Sit down, stay a while.

668
00:41:04,599 --> 00:41:07,830
Sherry, I'm sorry for what I said
just now. I'm afraid I was unjust.

669
00:41:08,003 --> 00:41:11,336
That's quite all right, my dear.
We all lose our tempers now and then.

670
00:41:11,506 --> 00:41:13,701
Don't worry about it.
Get a good night's sleep.

671
00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:17,140
People misjudge you, Sherry.
You're really very sweet.

672
00:41:17,312 --> 00:41:20,577
- Good night.
- Good night. Sweet dreams.

673
00:41:20,749 --> 00:41:23,377
Thank you. Good night, Sherry.

674
00:41:47,002 --> 00:41:49,300
Well, I guess that's all there are,
Miss Cutler.

675
00:41:49,471 --> 00:41:50,733
Thank you, John.

676
00:41:50,906 --> 00:41:54,239
My, I never saw
anyone get so many presents.

677
00:41:54,409 --> 00:41:58,368
- I can hardly wait to see what's in them.
- When will Mr. Whiteside open them?

678
00:41:58,546 --> 00:42:01,743
Well, you see, John, Christmas
is Mr. Whiteside's personal property.

679
00:42:01,917 --> 00:42:03,942
He invented it. It belongs to him.

680
00:42:04,119 --> 00:42:08,351
Tomorrow morning, very first thing,
Mr. Whiteside will open every present...

681
00:42:08,523 --> 00:42:11,788
...and he'll raise the biggest stink
you've ever seen in your life.

682
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,724
From Winston Churchill.

683
00:42:14,896 --> 00:42:17,228
Deanna Durbin.

684
00:42:17,399 --> 00:42:19,390
Gypsy Rose Lee.

685
00:42:19,868 --> 00:42:21,733
Somerset Maugham.

686
00:42:21,903 --> 00:42:25,031
My, I can hardly wait
till tomorrow.

687
00:42:28,043 --> 00:42:31,570
Isn't it wonderful?
Mr. Whiteside's tree is so beautiful too.

688
00:42:31,746 --> 00:42:35,773
Mr. and Mrs. Stanley can hardly undress
at night with their tree in their bedroom.

689
00:42:35,951 --> 00:42:38,249
- Good evening, John.
- Good evening, Mr. Jefferson.

690
00:42:38,420 --> 00:42:40,479
Hiya, Maggie.
Merry Christmas, Sarah.

691
00:42:40,655 --> 00:42:42,145
Merry Christmas, Mr. Jefferson.

692
00:42:42,357 --> 00:42:46,054
Say, business is good, isn't it?
My, what a little quiet blackmail...

693
00:42:46,227 --> 00:42:49,390
...and a weekly radio show can get you.
What did his sponsors give him?

694
00:42:49,564 --> 00:42:53,227
A full year's supply of their product,
Cream of Mush.

695
00:42:53,401 --> 00:42:57,132
Cream of Mush. Well, he'll give it
right back to them over the air.

696
00:42:57,305 --> 00:43:00,001
Wait till you hear tonight's broadcast,
old fellow.

697
00:43:00,175 --> 00:43:03,269
It's so gooey, I haven't been able
to get it off my fingers.

698
00:43:03,445 --> 00:43:05,379
I'll bet.

699
00:43:06,381 --> 00:43:09,578
Look, I'll come clean. Under
the influence of heaven knows what...

700
00:43:09,751 --> 00:43:11,810
...I've just bought you
a Christmas present.

701
00:43:11,987 --> 00:43:14,478
- Why, Mr. Jefferson, sir.
- I'd like you to see it...

702
00:43:14,656 --> 00:43:18,114
...before I throw away my money.
Can you run downtown with me?

703
00:43:18,293 --> 00:43:20,921
Bert, that's very sweet of you.
I'm quite touched.

704
00:43:21,096 --> 00:43:23,621
- What is it? I can't wait.
- You think I'm gonna tell?

705
00:43:23,798 --> 00:43:26,926
- Come on down and see.
- All right.

706
00:43:28,670 --> 00:43:30,297
Sherry?

707
00:43:32,507 --> 00:43:36,443
Sherry? I'm going out for a few minutes
with Horace Greeley.

708
00:43:36,611 --> 00:43:38,272
I won't be long.

709
00:43:38,780 --> 00:43:43,342
No�l, No�l, Mr. W. How about a little
gin rummy tonight after your broadcast?

710
00:43:43,518 --> 00:43:46,817
No, I will not play gin rummy with you,
Klondike Harry.

711
00:43:46,988 --> 00:43:48,956
You've been swindling
the pants off me.

712
00:43:49,124 --> 00:43:51,524
By the way, what are you giving me
for Christmas?

713
00:43:51,693 --> 00:43:54,719
I've enriched your feeble life
beyond your capacity to repay me.

714
00:43:54,929 --> 00:43:57,489
That's what I figured,
so I'm not giving you anything.

715
00:43:57,665 --> 00:44:02,068
I see. Well, I was gonna give you
my old truss, but now I shan't.

716
00:44:04,639 --> 00:44:08,507
Sherry? The radio men will be here
at 6:30. I'll be back in time.

717
00:44:08,676 --> 00:44:10,837
Where are you off to anyway,
Madame Butterfly?

718
00:44:11,012 --> 00:44:14,504
I'm being given a Christmas present.
Anything I can bring from downtown?

719
00:44:14,682 --> 00:44:17,446
Yes. Bring baby a lollipop.

720
00:44:19,954 --> 00:44:22,980
I want to know what you bought me.
I'm like a 10-year-old kid.

721
00:44:23,324 --> 00:44:27,158
You know, you look like a 10-year-old
kid right now, Maggie, at that.

722
00:44:39,607 --> 00:44:42,542
Operator, give me the Mansion House.

723
00:44:43,011 --> 00:44:45,377
No, I don't know the number!

724
00:44:46,981 --> 00:44:52,248
Hello. Mansion House, tell me, has
a Miss Lorraine Sheldon arrived yet?

725
00:44:52,420 --> 00:44:55,548
Yes, that's right. Miss Lorraine Sheldon
from Palm Beach.

726
00:44:56,057 --> 00:44:58,116
She hasn't, eh?

727
00:45:15,076 --> 00:45:18,409
What do you want, coming in like that?
Knock when you come into a room.

728
00:45:18,580 --> 00:45:21,777
But I wasn't coming in.
I was coming out.

729
00:45:21,950 --> 00:45:24,646
Miss Preen, you are obviously
in this room. That's true.

730
00:45:24,819 --> 00:45:26,719
- Yes, it is.
- Therefore you came in.

731
00:45:26,888 --> 00:45:28,549
Hereafter, please knock.

732
00:45:29,023 --> 00:45:32,322
There's some expressmen with a crate.
I told them to go to the front.

733
00:45:32,527 --> 00:45:34,961
Thank you, John.
Well, don't stand there, Miss Preen.

734
00:45:35,130 --> 00:45:38,122
You look like a frozen custard.
Go away!

735
00:45:45,340 --> 00:45:47,774
- What is it this time, Joe?
- Penguins, Mr. Stanley.

736
00:45:47,942 --> 00:45:50,502
- All the way from the South Pole.
- Penguins?

737
00:45:50,678 --> 00:45:53,738
Four of them.
Two girls and two boys, I think.

738
00:45:54,549 --> 00:45:57,950
Four. Well, he can't name them
all after me.

739
00:45:58,119 --> 00:46:00,610
Here's where you come in, Daisy.

740
00:46:03,057 --> 00:46:04,957
Right in here, boys.

741
00:46:06,461 --> 00:46:08,952
Careful, now, don't bump into anything.

742
00:46:10,131 --> 00:46:12,691
- Who's it from, Joe?
- Admiral Byrd. They're penguins.

743
00:46:12,867 --> 00:46:15,631
Directions how to feed them on top.
The slats are loose.

744
00:46:15,803 --> 00:46:19,705
"To be fed only whale blubber,
eels and cracked lobster."

745
00:46:20,508 --> 00:46:22,806
They got root beer this morning
and liked it.

746
00:46:24,712 --> 00:46:28,648
Hello, hello. You know, they make
the most entrancing companions, John.

747
00:46:28,816 --> 00:46:31,307
Admiral Byrd has one
that goes on his tours with him.

748
00:46:31,486 --> 00:46:34,785
I want these in the library.
Take them right in, will you, please?

749
00:46:34,956 --> 00:46:36,924
Tell Sarah to order
a couple dozen lobsters.

750
00:46:37,091 --> 00:46:39,025
Is there any whale blubber
in this town?

751
00:46:39,194 --> 00:46:41,788
- Good evening.
- Yes, there is.

752
00:46:41,963 --> 00:46:44,329
- Merry Christmas, Mr. Whiteside.
- Merry Christmas.

753
00:46:44,499 --> 00:46:47,127
You don't happen to know
if eels are in season, do you?

754
00:46:47,302 --> 00:46:50,169
- How's that?
- Never mind. I was a fool to ask you.

755
00:46:50,338 --> 00:46:53,637
I opened those slats a little.
They seemed so crowded in there.

756
00:46:53,808 --> 00:46:55,708
Oh, thank you, John.

757
00:46:56,844 --> 00:47:00,007
Must be Mr. Stanley
wrestling with my octopus.

758
00:47:01,883 --> 00:47:03,714
- Mr. Whiteside...
- Goodbye, doctor.

759
00:47:03,885 --> 00:47:07,685
I'm sorry you dropped in just now,
I have to do my yogi exercises.

760
00:47:07,855 --> 00:47:10,653
Mr. Whiteside, it's a week now.
My book, you know.

761
00:47:10,825 --> 00:47:13,157
When are we going to start
to work on my book?

762
00:47:13,328 --> 00:47:15,660
I thought perhaps today
maybe we could...

763
00:47:15,830 --> 00:47:19,061
- Good evening, Dr. Bradley.
- Good evening, Miss Preen.

764
00:47:30,511 --> 00:47:33,344
Doctor, perhaps I'm not well,
but when I opened the door...

765
00:47:33,514 --> 00:47:36,415
...I thought I saw a penguin
with a thermometer in his mouth.

766
00:47:36,584 --> 00:47:39,018
Have those penguins
gotten out of their crate?

767
00:47:39,187 --> 00:47:41,348
- Did you say penguins?
- Yes.

768
00:47:41,522 --> 00:47:43,717
I was afraid the strain
was too much for me.

769
00:47:43,891 --> 00:47:46,223
- Penguins?
- Would you go in and capture them...

770
00:47:46,394 --> 00:47:49,522
...and put them back in their crate?
There are four of them.

771
00:47:50,531 --> 00:47:53,022
- Capture the penguins?
- That's right.

772
00:47:53,201 --> 00:47:56,432
And, Miss Preen, will you entertain them,
please, until I come in?

773
00:47:56,604 --> 00:47:58,094
Yes, sir.

774
00:47:59,574 --> 00:48:04,068
The Christmas tree just fell on Mr.
Stanley. Got a bump on his forehead.

775
00:48:04,245 --> 00:48:06,440
Isn't that too bad.

776
00:48:07,615 --> 00:48:10,311
Go ahead, doctor.
Go on, Miss Preen.

777
00:48:11,586 --> 00:48:14,714
- Hello, Mr. Whiteside.
- Hello, Dickie, my boy.

778
00:48:14,889 --> 00:48:18,791
But, Mr. Whiteside, will you have
some time later today? My book.

779
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:23,090
- I don't know, doctor. I'm busy now.
- Suppose I wait a little while.

780
00:48:23,264 --> 00:48:25,129
I'll wait a little while.

781
00:48:25,300 --> 00:48:29,100
Dr. Bradley is the greatest living
argument for mercy killing.

782
00:48:29,570 --> 00:48:33,233
Richard, would you like a candid-camera
shot of my left nostril this evening?

783
00:48:33,408 --> 00:48:36,309
I'm sort of stocked up on those.
But have you got a minute...

784
00:48:36,477 --> 00:48:39,412
...to see some new ones I've taken?
- I certainly have.

785
00:48:41,949 --> 00:48:43,416
These are splendid, Richard.

786
00:48:43,584 --> 00:48:46,075
Richard, I've been meaning
to talk to you about this.

787
00:48:46,254 --> 00:48:49,087
You're not just a kid fooling around
with a camera anymore.

788
00:48:49,257 --> 00:48:51,350
These are good.
This is what you ought to do.

789
00:48:51,526 --> 00:48:54,586
You ought to go away and do
the things you've told me about.

790
00:48:54,762 --> 00:48:58,960
Get on a boat, get off wherever it stops.
Galveston, Mexico, Singapore.

791
00:48:59,133 --> 00:49:01,363
Work your way through
and just take pictures.

792
00:49:01,536 --> 00:49:04,130
Terrible pictures, wonderful pictures,
everything.

793
00:49:04,305 --> 00:49:06,603
If I could do that,
I'd be the happiest guy.

794
00:49:06,774 --> 00:49:09,868
Why can't you do it?
If I were your age, I'd do it like a shot.

795
00:49:10,044 --> 00:49:11,841
You know why.

796
00:49:12,013 --> 00:49:14,948
- Dad.
- Richard, do you really wanna do this...

797
00:49:15,116 --> 00:49:17,107
...more than anything else?
- I certainly do.

798
00:49:17,285 --> 00:49:19,651
- Well, then do it.
- Hello, Dick.

799
00:49:19,821 --> 00:49:22,346
- Good evening, Mr. Whiteside.
- Hello, lovely.

800
00:49:22,523 --> 00:49:25,356
So, Richard, I'm afraid
it's up to you.

801
00:49:25,526 --> 00:49:27,187
I guess it is.

802
00:49:27,362 --> 00:49:29,956
Thank you. You've been swell.
I'll never forget it.

803
00:49:30,131 --> 00:49:32,622
- All right, Richard.
- June, are you coming upstairs?

804
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,166
- In a few minutes.
- Knock on my door. I wanna talk.

805
00:49:35,336 --> 00:49:39,500
Yes, I will. Mr. Whiteside, may I speak
to you for a few minutes? It's important.

806
00:49:39,674 --> 00:49:43,872
Certainly, my dear. I take it this is all
about your young Lothario at the factory.

807
00:49:44,045 --> 00:49:46,980
Yes. I simply can't get Father
to understand.

808
00:49:47,148 --> 00:49:49,810
What are we going to do?
Sandy and I love each other.

809
00:49:49,984 --> 00:49:53,078
- I don't know where to turn.
- I'd like to meet this young man.

810
00:49:53,287 --> 00:49:55,847
- I'd like to see him for myself.
- Would you meet him?

811
00:49:56,023 --> 00:49:59,220
- He's just outside. He's in the kitchen.
- Good, bring him in.

812
00:49:59,394 --> 00:50:03,831
Mr. Whiteside, he's a very sensitive boy.
You'll be kind to him, won't you?

813
00:50:03,998 --> 00:50:08,367
Confound it, June, when will you learn
that I'm always kind and courteous?

814
00:50:08,536 --> 00:50:10,527
Bring this idiot in.

815
00:50:12,340 --> 00:50:14,535
Sandy. Sandy.

816
00:50:15,309 --> 00:50:17,573
Here he is, Mr. Whiteside.
This is Sandy.

817
00:50:17,745 --> 00:50:20,578
- How do you do, sir?
- I've heard a good deal about you...

818
00:50:20,748 --> 00:50:23,911
...from June this past week.
If I have been correctly informed...

819
00:50:24,085 --> 00:50:27,077
...you two babes
have gone quietly out of your minds.

820
00:50:27,255 --> 00:50:30,122
There's another name for it.
It's called love.

821
00:50:30,324 --> 00:50:32,690
You've come to the right place.
Dr. Whiteside...

822
00:50:32,860 --> 00:50:36,261
...broken hearts mended, brakes relined,
hamburgers. Go right ahead.

823
00:50:36,431 --> 00:50:39,628
If June has told you anything at all,
you know the jam we're in.

824
00:50:39,834 --> 00:50:42,428
You see, I work for the union,
I'm an organizer.

825
00:50:42,603 --> 00:50:46,699
I've organized the men in Mr. Stanley's
factory, and he's pretty sore about it.

826
00:50:46,874 --> 00:50:48,535
- I'll bet.
- June told you?

827
00:50:48,709 --> 00:50:52,042
- Yes, she did.
- Sandy's leaving town for Chicago.

828
00:50:52,213 --> 00:50:55,580
He'll probably be gone a year.
We've simply got to decide now.

829
00:50:55,750 --> 00:50:58,048
My dear, it's absurdly simple,
no problem at all.

830
00:50:58,219 --> 00:51:00,710
Suppose your parents are unhappy.
It's good for them.

831
00:51:00,888 --> 00:51:02,913
Develops their characters.
Now look at me.

832
00:51:03,090 --> 00:51:05,923
I left home at the age of 4
and haven't been back since.

833
00:51:06,093 --> 00:51:08,653
They hear me over the radio,
and that's enough for them.

834
00:51:08,830 --> 00:51:11,856
- Then your advice is to go ahead?
- It is. Marry him tonight.

835
00:51:12,033 --> 00:51:14,729
- You mean that, Mr. Whiteside?
- No.

836
00:51:14,902 --> 00:51:16,767
No, you should marry
Walter Winchell.

837
00:51:16,938 --> 00:51:20,066
If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't say it.
Should I say it again?

838
00:51:20,241 --> 00:51:23,404
- Daisy, I can't wait any longer.
- There's Dad. Come on.

839
00:51:31,686 --> 00:51:36,180
- Forgive us for trespassing.
- Not at all, it's Christmas, you know.

840
00:51:36,390 --> 00:51:40,087
- Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
- Yes, merry Christmas.

841
00:51:40,261 --> 00:51:43,196
- Come along, Daisy.
- What has happened to your forehead?

842
00:51:43,397 --> 00:51:44,694
Have you had an accident?

843
00:51:44,899 --> 00:51:49,165
No, Mr. Whiteside, I am taking
boxing lessons. All right, Daisy.

844
00:52:06,954 --> 00:52:12,483
Dear Mr. Whiteside, I've been trying
all day to see you to give you this.

845
00:52:12,660 --> 00:52:14,560
Why, Miss Stanley,
a Christmas gift for me?

846
00:52:14,729 --> 00:52:18,290
Oh, it's just a trifle.
But I wanted you to have it.

847
00:52:18,799 --> 00:52:21,495
It's a picture of me
as I used to be.

848
00:52:21,669 --> 00:52:25,662
It was taken on another
Christmas Eve many years ago.

849
00:52:28,376 --> 00:52:32,005
Don't open it
till the stroke of midnight, will you?

850
00:52:34,015 --> 00:52:37,178
Merry Christmas, dear Mr. Whiteside.

851
00:52:37,885 --> 00:52:39,546
Merry Christmas.

852
00:52:39,720 --> 00:52:42,484
Merry Christmas, Miss Stanley,
and thank you.

853
00:53:03,010 --> 00:53:06,207
Mighty nifty-looking package.
I had quite a struggle with myself...

854
00:53:06,380 --> 00:53:08,245
...before I decided not to open it.

855
00:53:08,416 --> 00:53:11,681
- Here you are, Maggie.
- I'm so excited.

856
00:53:11,886 --> 00:53:16,050
Here, sign for it, will you, please?
Know what I'm giving my wife?

857
00:53:16,223 --> 00:53:18,851
- A pipe.
- A pipe?

858
00:53:19,026 --> 00:53:20,584
That doesn't sound very sensible.

859
00:53:20,761 --> 00:53:24,527
Just as sensible as the vacuum cleaner
she's giving me.

860
00:53:27,001 --> 00:53:29,595
Oh, look how beautifully it's wrapped.

861
00:53:42,550 --> 00:53:44,745
Why, Bert, how wonderful.

862
00:53:46,454 --> 00:53:48,945
Here's a typewriter.
That's what brought us together.

863
00:53:49,123 --> 00:53:51,114
Remember the day
you fixed the ribbon?

864
00:53:51,659 --> 00:53:55,618
And a pair of ice skates to remind you
never to go skating again.

865
00:53:56,897 --> 00:54:01,391
This little heart with the arrow through
it, they just had that in the catalog.

866
00:54:01,569 --> 00:54:04,436
Bert, this is the nicest Christmas
I've ever had.

867
00:54:04,605 --> 00:54:07,301
Well, I just never happened
to be around before.

868
00:54:08,275 --> 00:54:11,938
I'm certainly glad that Sherry fell
and fractured his hip.

869
00:54:13,414 --> 00:54:15,780
Oh, there's a little something
engraved on them.

870
00:54:15,950 --> 00:54:17,781
Here, it starts here.

871
00:54:17,952 --> 00:54:19,783
"Faint...

872
00:54:20,421 --> 00:54:22,912
...heart ne'er...

873
00:54:23,090 --> 00:54:26,059
...won fair lady.

874
00:54:28,329 --> 00:54:31,355
Nor iron...

875
00:54:32,066 --> 00:54:33,590
...bars...

876
00:54:34,368 --> 00:54:35,995
...a cage."

877
00:54:36,637 --> 00:54:40,596
Bert, it's a very nice sentiment,
but isn't it a bit grim towards the end?

878
00:54:40,775 --> 00:54:43,369
- It should've ended after "fair lady."
- Thank you, sir.

879
00:54:43,577 --> 00:54:46,705
I guess he just had some extra charms
laying around.

880
00:54:46,947 --> 00:54:48,608
Oh, heavens, I've got to get back.

881
00:54:48,783 --> 00:54:51,684
Sherry broadcasts at 7:00.
Come on. Merry Christmas.

882
00:54:51,852 --> 00:54:55,049
Thank you, ma'am. Merry Christmas
to you. Merry Christmas, Bert.

883
00:54:55,222 --> 00:54:57,816
If you ever get married,
how many children are you having?

884
00:54:57,992 --> 00:55:00,483
- Six or seven.
- Goodbye.

885
00:55:00,661 --> 00:55:03,892
- Hey! I'll make it four.
- Well, that I might consider.

886
00:55:11,872 --> 00:55:13,806
Cosette, take everything on
to the hotel.

887
00:55:13,974 --> 00:55:16,135
I'm going right out to see
poor Mr. Whiteside.

888
00:55:16,310 --> 00:55:18,642
Give me something to wear, dear,
I feel so naked.

889
00:55:25,686 --> 00:55:26,914
There.

890
00:55:34,061 --> 00:55:36,427
- Taxi?
- Taxi, lady?

891
00:55:36,630 --> 00:55:38,359
- Taxi?
- Taxi, lady?

892
00:55:38,532 --> 00:55:40,227
This way, miss.

893
00:55:48,242 --> 00:55:50,767
- This is the Stanley residence, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

894
00:55:50,945 --> 00:55:53,914
I've come to see Mr. Whiteside.
Tell him Miss Sheldon is here.

895
00:55:54,081 --> 00:55:56,675
Lorraine, my blossom girl!

896
00:55:57,351 --> 00:55:59,046
Darling!

897
00:55:59,453 --> 00:56:02,149
Darling, look at that poor,
sweet, tortured face.

898
00:56:02,323 --> 00:56:05,724
Let me kiss it. Oh, darling, how drawn
you are.

899
00:56:05,893 --> 00:56:07,588
Sherry, my sweet, I want to cry.

900
00:56:07,762 --> 00:56:10,253
You've made a very nice entrance.
Now relax.

901
00:56:10,431 --> 00:56:13,730
But I've been so worried.
And now seeing you in that chair...

902
00:56:13,901 --> 00:56:16,301
This chair fits my contours
as nothing else ever has.

903
00:56:16,470 --> 00:56:20,531
I'm feeling better than I have in years.
My only concern is news of the world.

904
00:56:20,775 --> 00:56:23,573
So take off that skunk, dear,
and tell me everything.

905
00:56:23,744 --> 00:56:27,373
I'm so relieved. You look perfectly
wonderful. My dear, do I look a wreck.

906
00:56:27,548 --> 00:56:31,541
I jumped on the train the minute you
called. Palm Beach has been so hectic.

907
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:35,382
Fun, but simply exhausting. Jock
Whitney, Cary Grant, Barbara Hutton.

908
00:56:35,556 --> 00:56:39,048
Just too exhausting. I never got to bed.
I don't know where to start.

909
00:56:39,226 --> 00:56:41,922
Start with the dirt first, dear.
That's what I want to hear.

910
00:56:42,096 --> 00:56:46,328
Let me see. Oh, yes, Cybil Cartwright
was ordered right off the beach.

911
00:56:46,500 --> 00:56:50,095
It happened the day before I left.
She had a new cellophane bathing suit.

912
00:56:50,271 --> 00:56:53,468
- You could see the waves breaking.
- Poor old Cybil.

913
00:56:53,641 --> 00:56:55,632
And Louise Curtis...
You know her, Sherry.

914
00:56:55,810 --> 00:56:58,608
She divorced her fourth husband
and remarried her second.

915
00:56:58,779 --> 00:57:01,646
It was awfully messy
because before he could remarry her...

916
00:57:01,816 --> 00:57:04,307
...he had to divorce his third wife,
Louise's mother.

917
00:57:04,485 --> 00:57:07,318
But it was a beautiful wedding.
And before I forget it...

918
00:57:07,488 --> 00:57:09,479
...Elsa Maxwell gave me a message
for you.

919
00:57:09,657 --> 00:57:12,751
She wants you to take off 25 pounds
and send them parcel post.

920
00:57:12,927 --> 00:57:14,792
She needs them.

921
00:57:14,962 --> 00:57:18,022
They shall be packed in ice.
Now, come on. What about you?

922
00:57:18,232 --> 00:57:21,599
What about you and that splendid bit
of English mutton, Lord Bottomley?

923
00:57:21,769 --> 00:57:24,101
- Haven't you hooked him yet?
- Sherry, please.

924
00:57:24,271 --> 00:57:28,674
- He's just a very dear friend of mine.
- Now, blossom girl, this is Sherry.

925
00:57:28,843 --> 00:57:31,107
Don't try to pull the bedclothes
over my eyes.

926
00:57:31,278 --> 00:57:34,509
You would like to be Lady Bottomley
with 100,000 pounds a year...

927
00:57:34,682 --> 00:57:38,015
...and 12 castles. By the way,
has he had his teeth fixed yet?

928
00:57:38,185 --> 00:57:41,518
Every time I order Roquefort cheese
I think of those teeth.

929
00:57:42,957 --> 00:57:46,188
Sherry, really.
Cedric may not be brilliant...

930
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,557
...but he's rather sweet, poor lamb.
And very fond of me.

931
00:57:49,763 --> 00:57:53,199
After all, if I can marry him,
I don't see why I shouldn't.

932
00:57:53,367 --> 00:57:55,358
Shall I tell you something,
Sherry, darling?

933
00:57:55,536 --> 00:57:58,437
I think from something he said to me,
he's finally coming around.

934
00:57:58,606 --> 00:58:01,006
Nothing definite,
but don't be surprised...

935
00:58:01,175 --> 00:58:04,144
...if I am Lady Bottomley before long.
- Lady Bottomley.

936
00:58:04,311 --> 00:58:07,872
Won't Kansas City be surprised?
However, I shall be a flower girl.

937
00:58:08,048 --> 00:58:10,710
I shall give the groom
an iron toothpick as a present.

938
00:58:10,985 --> 00:58:14,011
Come on, my blossom.
I want some more of your skullduggery.

939
00:58:14,188 --> 00:58:16,418
- Well...
- Oh, Mr. Whiteside...

940
00:58:16,590 --> 00:58:18,421
- No, no, I'm busy now.
- Yes, but I...

941
00:58:18,592 --> 00:58:21,789
- Go away!
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

942
00:58:25,366 --> 00:58:27,857
- What was that?
- He's fixing the plumbing.

943
00:58:28,035 --> 00:58:32,028
- Now, come on, I want some news.
- But, darling, what about this play?

944
00:58:32,206 --> 00:58:35,539
After all, I came all the way from
Palm Beach, even on Christmas Eve.

945
00:58:35,709 --> 00:58:38,439
I've been so excited ever since
you telephoned me.

946
00:58:38,612 --> 00:58:40,705
- When can I read it?
- Here's the situation.

947
00:58:40,881 --> 00:58:43,179
This young author,
his name is Bert Jefferson...

948
00:58:43,350 --> 00:58:46,217
...brought me the play to send it
to Katherine Cornell.

949
00:58:46,387 --> 00:58:49,550
It's a magnificent part,
and heaven knows, I feel disloyal to Kit.

950
00:58:49,723 --> 00:58:53,955
There you are. I've done this much. The
rest's up to you. He's young, attractive.

951
00:58:54,128 --> 00:58:58,360
Just how you'll go about persuading him
I'm sure you know more about than I do.

952
00:58:58,532 --> 00:59:01,228
Oh, darling, how can I ever thank you?

953
00:59:01,402 --> 00:59:03,393
Does he know I'm coming?
This young man?

954
00:59:03,570 --> 00:59:07,097
No! You're just out here visiting me.
You'll meet him, and that's that.

955
00:59:07,274 --> 00:59:10,038
Get him to take you to dinner
and work around to the play.

956
00:59:10,210 --> 00:59:13,236
I don't have to tell you how.
How'd you get those other parts?

957
00:59:13,414 --> 00:59:14,779
Sherry.

958
00:59:14,949 --> 00:59:17,918
I'll run to the hotel
and get into something more attractive.

959
00:59:18,085 --> 00:59:21,282
I just dumped my bags and rushed right
over here. You're wonderful.

960
00:59:21,455 --> 00:59:24,117
All right. Run along
and get into your working clothes.

961
00:59:24,291 --> 00:59:27,988
Then come back and spend Christmas
with me. I'll have Mr. Jefferson on tap.

962
00:59:28,162 --> 00:59:31,461
And by the by, don't mention a word
of the play in front of Maggie.

963
00:59:31,632 --> 00:59:33,725
You know what a friend
she is of Cornell's.

964
00:59:33,901 --> 00:59:37,302
- I'll just be polite with Maggie.
- I've got a little surprise for you.

965
00:59:37,471 --> 00:59:39,803
Who do you suppose
is paying me a visit tonight?

966
00:59:39,974 --> 00:59:43,137
None other than your old friend
and fellow actor, Beverly Carlton.

967
00:59:43,310 --> 00:59:47,644
Beverly? Really? I thought he was being
glamorous again on a tramp steamer.

968
00:59:47,815 --> 00:59:49,806
Oh, come, mustn't be bitter
just because...

969
00:59:49,984 --> 00:59:54,182
...he got better notices than you did.
- Don't be silly. I never read notices.

970
00:59:54,388 --> 00:59:56,686
I simply wouldn't care to act
with him again.

971
00:59:56,890 --> 00:59:58,858
He's not staying here, is he?
I hope not.

972
00:59:59,026 --> 01:00:01,460
Temper, temper, temper.
No, he's not.

973
01:00:01,628 --> 01:00:04,825
Where'd you get that diamond bracelet?
That's a new bit of loot.

974
01:00:04,999 --> 01:00:08,662
Haven't you seen this before? Cedric
gave it to me for his mother's birthday.

975
01:00:08,836 --> 01:00:12,533
She was simply furious. But
I have a taxi waiting. If I'm to get back...

976
01:00:12,706 --> 01:00:15,834
Sherry. Sherry, what do you think?

977
01:00:17,378 --> 01:00:20,347
Oh, hello, Maggie.
I knew you must be around somewhere.

978
01:00:20,514 --> 01:00:22,641
How are you, my dear?

979
01:00:23,617 --> 01:00:25,050
Santa Claus has been at work.

980
01:00:25,219 --> 01:00:29,019
Lorraine blossom just dropped
in out of the blue and surprised us.

981
01:00:29,690 --> 01:00:31,282
- Hello, Lorraine.
- Hello.

982
01:00:31,458 --> 01:00:34,450
Bert, is that you? Come right in, Bert.
Mr. Bert Jefferson.

983
01:00:34,628 --> 01:00:36,562
- Miss Lorraine Sheldon.
- How do you do?

984
01:00:36,730 --> 01:00:41,167
How do you do?
I didn't quite catch the name. Jefferson?

985
01:00:41,702 --> 01:00:43,226
That's right, pet.

986
01:00:45,472 --> 01:00:48,805
Why, Mr. Jefferson,
you don't look like a newspaperman.

987
01:00:48,976 --> 01:00:50,876
You don't look like one at all.

988
01:00:51,045 --> 01:00:53,980
Really? I thought it was written
all over me in neon lights.

989
01:00:54,148 --> 01:00:58,016
Not at all. You know, I should have
said you were a... Oh, I don't know...

990
01:00:58,185 --> 01:01:00,153
...an aviator,
an explorer or something.

991
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:02,151
They have the same dash
about them.

992
01:01:02,322 --> 01:01:04,688
I'm simply enchanted
with your little town.

993
01:01:04,858 --> 01:01:06,985
It gives one such a warm,
gracious feeling.

994
01:01:07,161 --> 01:01:10,824
- Have you lived here all your life?
- Practically.

995
01:01:10,998 --> 01:01:14,900
Now, if you wish to hear the story of
his life, kindly do so on your own time.

996
01:01:15,069 --> 01:01:18,505
Maggie and I have work to do.
Get out of here. On your way, blossom.

997
01:01:18,672 --> 01:01:21,004
He's the world's rudest man, isn't he?

998
01:01:21,575 --> 01:01:23,406
Oh, could I drop you, Mr. Jefferson?

999
01:01:23,577 --> 01:01:26,410
I'm going down to the Mansion House,
I think it's called.

1000
01:01:26,580 --> 01:01:29,014
Thank you, but I've got my car.
Suppose I drop you?

1001
01:01:29,183 --> 01:01:32,016
Would you? That'd be lovely.
We'll send the taxi right off.

1002
01:01:32,186 --> 01:01:34,120
I'll see you later, Sherry. Bye, Maggie.

1003
01:01:34,288 --> 01:01:37,689
Goodbye, Maggie. By the way,
I'm invited back for dinner, am I not?

1004
01:01:37,858 --> 01:01:41,191
Oh, yes. Yes, you are.
At Christmas, I always feed the needy.

1005
01:01:41,361 --> 01:01:43,795
Now stop oozing out. Get out.

1006
01:01:43,964 --> 01:01:47,058
Come on, I wanna hear more
about this charming little town of yours.

1007
01:01:47,234 --> 01:01:49,395
I wanna know a great deal
more about you too.

1008
01:01:49,570 --> 01:01:52,403
Let me see. Is there a copy
of that broadcast around here?

1009
01:01:52,573 --> 01:01:54,734
How much time did
they want out, four minutes?

1010
01:01:54,908 --> 01:01:57,274
That's right, four minutes.

1011
01:01:58,445 --> 01:02:01,380
- She's looking very well, isn't she?
- Who?

1012
01:02:01,548 --> 01:02:03,573
Countess de Cyanide.

1013
01:02:04,051 --> 01:02:07,111
Quite a surprise, wasn't it,
her dropping in like this?

1014
01:02:07,287 --> 01:02:09,755
Yes. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Yes.

1015
01:02:09,923 --> 01:02:14,053
"At this joyous season of the year, when
in the hearts of men..." I can't cut that.

1016
01:02:14,228 --> 01:02:16,890
Isn't it curious, there was
Lorraine snug as a bug...

1017
01:02:17,064 --> 01:02:18,964
...in somebody's patio in Palm Beach?

1018
01:02:19,133 --> 01:02:21,931
"Ere the Yuletide season pass"...

1019
01:02:22,569 --> 01:02:26,266
Now, Sherry,
I think we will talk a bit.

1020
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:29,671
Look, just because a friend
comes out here and spends Christmas...

1021
01:02:29,843 --> 01:02:33,335
I don't think she happened to come
out here. I don't think that at all.

1022
01:02:33,514 --> 01:02:36,745
Surely you're not suggesting
that I had anything to do about it?

1023
01:02:36,917 --> 01:02:39,613
- Yes, Sherry, I am.
- Maggie.

1024
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,115
You know that
one of my cardinal principles...

1025
01:02:42,289 --> 01:02:46,020
...is never to interfere in
other people's lives. Absolutely never.

1026
01:02:50,864 --> 01:02:53,492
Goodbye, Mr. Whiteside,
we can never thank you enough.

1027
01:02:53,667 --> 01:02:57,125
- You've changed our whole lives.
- Yes, well, goodbye. Have a nice trip.

1028
01:02:57,304 --> 01:02:59,636
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Miss Cutler.

1029
01:02:59,806 --> 01:03:01,603
Bye.

1030
01:03:03,810 --> 01:03:05,607
I see.

1031
01:03:05,779 --> 01:03:07,770
I don't know what
they were talking about.

1032
01:03:07,948 --> 01:03:12,385
And as for Lorraine, no one was more
surprised than I when she walked in.

1033
01:03:12,586 --> 01:03:15,350
Sherry, I'm warning you.
This means a great deal to me.

1034
01:03:15,522 --> 01:03:18,218
I won't stand for any nonsense.

1035
01:03:18,859 --> 01:03:21,293
I have a hunch that's Beverly.
See who it is.

1036
01:03:21,461 --> 01:03:23,827
Go ahead, Maggie, run, run, run!

1037
01:03:28,135 --> 01:03:29,727
- Mr. Whiteside?
- Yes, come in.

1038
01:03:29,903 --> 01:03:31,530
Thank you.

1039
01:03:34,141 --> 01:03:37,406
- Beverly.
- Magpie.

1040
01:03:37,578 --> 01:03:40,638
Beverly Carlton. Come in here,
you Piccadilly penpusher...

1041
01:03:40,814 --> 01:03:42,645
...and gaze upon a soul in agony.

1042
01:03:42,816 --> 01:03:46,479
Now, don't tell me how you are, Sherry.
I want none of the tiresome details.

1043
01:03:46,653 --> 01:03:51,386
I have little time, so the conversation will
be entirely about me, and I shall love it.

1044
01:03:51,558 --> 01:03:54,891
Shall I tell how I glittered
through the South Seas like a scimitar?

1045
01:03:55,062 --> 01:03:58,054
Or would you rather hear how
I finished a play with one hand...

1046
01:03:58,232 --> 01:04:01,827
...and made love to a maharajah's
daughter with the other?

1047
01:04:02,002 --> 01:04:03,697
It was a very pretty sight.

1048
01:04:03,870 --> 01:04:07,738
Magpie, you are the moonflower of my
middle age, and I love you very much.

1049
01:04:07,908 --> 01:04:10,001
- Say something tender.
- Beverly, darling...

1050
01:04:10,177 --> 01:04:14,079
That's my girl. Sherry, without going
into mountainous waves of self-pity...

1051
01:04:14,248 --> 01:04:15,476
...how are you?

1052
01:04:15,649 --> 01:04:19,050
I'm fine, you presumptuous cockney.
How was this trip, wonderful?

1053
01:04:19,219 --> 01:04:23,087
The trip was fabulous. I wrote
two plays, a revue and an operetta.

1054
01:04:23,257 --> 01:04:26,385
All of them so brilliant
that they frighten me.

1055
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,427
How can one man possibly
be as clever as I am?

1056
01:04:29,596 --> 01:04:31,757
It's one of the mysteries
of the universe.

1057
01:04:32,266 --> 01:04:35,201
Beverly, a very dear friend
of yours is visiting us.

1058
01:04:35,369 --> 01:04:39,465
- The languorous Lorraine.
- Oh, Miss Sheldon. Yes. Dear girl.

1059
01:04:39,673 --> 01:04:43,200
They do say she set fire to her mother,
but I don't believe it.

1060
01:04:43,377 --> 01:04:46,312
Tell me. Did you see my wonderful
Banjo when in Hollywood?

1061
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:48,209
I did. And he gave a dinner for me.

1062
01:04:48,382 --> 01:04:50,282
I arrived in white tie and tails...

1063
01:04:50,450 --> 01:04:53,112
...to be met at the entrance
by two bewigged butlers...

1064
01:04:53,287 --> 01:04:56,279
...who very quietly proceeded
to take off my trousers.

1065
01:04:56,456 --> 01:04:59,983
I was then ushered in my lemon silk
shorts into the room...

1066
01:05:00,193 --> 01:05:02,718
...where there was Norma Shearer,
Claudette Colbert...

1067
01:05:02,896 --> 01:05:04,727
...and many, many others.

1068
01:05:04,898 --> 01:05:06,957
Dear, incomparable Banjo.

1069
01:05:07,134 --> 01:05:11,366
I'll never forget that summer when
Banjo put a mike in Lorraine's cabana...

1070
01:05:11,538 --> 01:05:15,406
...and played the record at lunch.
- I remember very well.

1071
01:05:15,575 --> 01:05:19,671
- And she left for the very next boat.
- I wish Banjo were here now.

1072
01:05:19,846 --> 01:05:22,474
Oh, my poor sweet little Magpie.
What's the matter?

1073
01:05:22,649 --> 01:05:25,482
Is Lorraine being her dear,
sweet, sick-making little self?

1074
01:05:25,652 --> 01:05:29,452
Wouldn't take her away with you,
would you? Would you, just for me?

1075
01:05:29,623 --> 01:05:31,147
Lorraine is a charming person...

1076
01:05:31,325 --> 01:05:34,294
...who has given up her own
Christmas to spend it with me.

1077
01:05:34,461 --> 01:05:37,760
- I knew I had dirt for us to nibble on.
- Oh, Mr. Whiteside?

1078
01:05:37,931 --> 01:05:41,367
What? Oh, no. I'm very busy now.
Go away.

1079
01:05:41,535 --> 01:05:43,628
Oh, that's all right. I'll wait.

1080
01:05:44,738 --> 01:05:46,433
Did you kidnap someone, Sherry?

1081
01:05:46,606 --> 01:05:49,632
No, that was Superman.
Now, come on, is this something juicy?

1082
01:05:49,810 --> 01:05:53,371
Juicy as a pomegranate.
It's the latest report from Palm Beach...

1083
01:05:53,547 --> 01:05:55,879
...on the winter maneuvers
of Lorraine Sheldon...

1084
01:05:56,049 --> 01:06:00,281
...against the left flank, or rather all
flanks, of Lord Cedric Bottomley.

1085
01:06:00,454 --> 01:06:04,515
Listen. "Lorraine arrived here in
November, in a cloud of Chanel N�5.

1086
01:06:04,691 --> 01:06:07,922
Since then, in her relentless pursuit
of Cedric, she has paused only...

1087
01:06:08,095 --> 01:06:12,429
...to change girdles and check her oil.
She's chased him from beach house...

1088
01:06:12,599 --> 01:06:15,796
...to beach house, until he finally
took refuge for several weekends...

1089
01:06:15,969 --> 01:06:20,668
...in the men's locker rooms
of the Turf and Jockey Club.

1090
01:06:20,841 --> 01:06:24,208
Cedric is hiding in Carolina,
but Lorraine would fly to him...

1091
01:06:24,378 --> 01:06:28,178
...in a Stratoliner if he so much
as sneezed in her direction."

1092
01:06:28,715 --> 01:06:31,809
- Have you met our little Cedric, Maggie?
- No, I haven't.

1093
01:06:31,985 --> 01:06:34,783
"Not very good shooting today, blast it.

1094
01:06:34,955 --> 01:06:40,359
Only six pheasant, four duck
and my cousin Archie."

1095
01:06:40,527 --> 01:06:43,394
That's Bottomley to his very fingertips.

1096
01:06:43,563 --> 01:06:46,555
Oh, but that's impossible.
Nobody could be like that.

1097
01:06:46,733 --> 01:06:48,530
Oh, it's so good, it's uncanny.

1098
01:06:48,702 --> 01:06:52,900
Why do you have to race out of here?
I never see you, you ungrateful moppet.

1099
01:06:53,073 --> 01:06:57,567
Sherry, all I can tell you is my esteem for
you is so great that I changed trains...

1100
01:06:57,744 --> 01:07:01,202
...in Chicago to spend 10 minutes with
you and wish you a merry Christmas.

1101
01:07:01,381 --> 01:07:05,078
Merry Christmas, my lad.
And to you, my little Magpie.

1102
01:07:05,318 --> 01:07:06,717
Beverly, dear.

1103
01:07:06,887 --> 01:07:09,117
Good evening.
Mr. Whiteside's in the living room.

1104
01:07:09,289 --> 01:07:11,189
Thank you. Come on, boys.

1105
01:07:11,358 --> 01:07:13,349
- Hello, Mr. Whiteside.
- Come in, Wescott.

1106
01:07:13,527 --> 01:07:17,463
The airwaves. Well, I shan't have
to listen to you, thank heaven.

1107
01:07:17,631 --> 01:07:19,531
I shall be on the train.

1108
01:07:19,699 --> 01:07:22,759
Mr. Wescott, will you go in the library?
John, will you help the men?

1109
01:07:22,936 --> 01:07:24,904
Yes. Right this way, gentlemen.

1110
01:07:25,071 --> 01:07:28,097
- Come on, say goodbye.
- Stop this nonsense, Maggie.

1111
01:07:28,275 --> 01:07:31,767
- Au revoir, my fabulous cream puff.
- What? I want to talk to Beverly.

1112
01:07:31,945 --> 01:07:34,573
Kiss Beverly in Macy's window
on July 4th.

1113
01:07:34,748 --> 01:07:39,276
I will not be rushed out like a baby that
has to have its thingamabobs changed.

1114
01:07:40,587 --> 01:07:42,214
Well.

1115
01:07:42,389 --> 01:07:45,916
Beverly, I want one minute of your time.
You'll make your train.

1116
01:07:46,092 --> 01:07:47,787
- What's the matter?
- I'm in trouble.

1117
01:07:47,961 --> 01:07:49,656
- What is it?
- I've fallen in love.

1118
01:07:49,830 --> 01:07:52,321
- No.
- Yes, for the first time in my life.

1119
01:07:52,499 --> 01:07:54,228
I can't tell you about it now,
no time.

1120
01:07:54,401 --> 01:07:57,632
Sherry's trying to break it up,
in his own fiendish way.

1121
01:07:57,804 --> 01:08:01,035
- What's he doing?
- He's brought Lorraine to smash it up.

1122
01:08:01,208 --> 01:08:03,802
- It's somebody in this town?
- Yes, he's a newspaperman.

1123
01:08:03,977 --> 01:08:06,775
You'll see him, he wants
to interview you. He's written a play.

1124
01:08:06,947 --> 01:08:11,475
Sherry is using that as bait. Lorraine
will eat him alive. You've got to help.

1125
01:08:11,651 --> 01:08:16,645
- What do you want me to do?
- Lorraine's coming, and perhaps you'd...

1126
01:08:16,890 --> 01:08:21,350
...phone from the station.

1127
01:08:21,761 --> 01:08:24,229
Don't say another word, Maggie,
I know just what to do.

1128
01:08:24,397 --> 01:08:27,423
And I shall love it.
I shall absolutely love it.

1129
01:08:27,601 --> 01:08:31,093
What's more, it crosses up
Sherry and Lorraine at the same time.

1130
01:08:31,271 --> 01:08:34,104
It's pure heaven. I adore it.
I must fly.

1131
01:08:34,274 --> 01:08:36,265
Beverly, you're wonderful.

1132
01:08:36,443 --> 01:08:39,071
I know I am. Come to my house
for your honeymoon.

1133
01:08:39,246 --> 01:08:42,511
- We'll name the first baby Beverly.
- Darling, I love you.

1134
01:08:42,682 --> 01:08:45,674
Don't spare the horses, my man,
a woman's honor's at stake.

1135
01:08:49,723 --> 01:08:52,191
There you are, my pretty.

1136
01:08:52,526 --> 01:08:56,485
- Hollywood calling you, Mr. Whiteside.
- Oh, thank you, John.

1137
01:08:56,997 --> 01:08:58,965
Hello?

1138
01:08:59,132 --> 01:09:00,531
Banjo.

1139
01:09:00,700 --> 01:09:04,227
Hello, Banjo, my boy. How are you,
you feeble-minded actor?

1140
01:09:04,404 --> 01:09:10,809
Hello, Whiteside. How is tricks? I hear
you broke your hip chasing a blond.

1141
01:09:12,579 --> 01:09:15,673
No, no, my bustle's fine.
Couldn't be better.

1142
01:09:15,849 --> 01:09:19,580
Maggie? She's lost her mind
temporarily, but I'm fixing that.

1143
01:09:19,753 --> 01:09:23,484
Listen, Banjo, did you reverse
the charges? You didn't.

1144
01:09:23,657 --> 01:09:25,648
Call the operator
and tell her to do it.

1145
01:09:25,825 --> 01:09:29,158
Just a little Christmas present to you
from my host.

1146
01:09:29,462 --> 01:09:32,488
Well, I can't waste my time
talking to Hollywood riffraff.

1147
01:09:32,899 --> 01:09:37,529
- Just get on a plane right away.
- I'll think it over. I...

1148
01:09:42,709 --> 01:09:46,975
Hello, Banjo? If I know Banjo,
we were cut off by a beautiful blond.

1149
01:09:49,115 --> 01:09:51,606
Is there anything I can do
before the broadcast?

1150
01:09:51,785 --> 01:09:55,778
No, thank you. It isn't television, thank
heaven. They only hear his liquid voice.

1151
01:09:55,989 --> 01:09:58,514
He's wonderful.
The things he finds time to do.

1152
01:09:58,692 --> 01:10:01,752
Yes, he certainly sticks
his nose into everything.

1153
01:10:01,928 --> 01:10:05,193
- Good evening, Miss Sheldon.
- Good evening, John.

1154
01:10:05,932 --> 01:10:08,264
Hello, dear. Where's Sherry?

1155
01:10:08,435 --> 01:10:10,767
Inside, working.

1156
01:10:11,071 --> 01:10:14,837
- He's on the air very soon.
- Oh, well, of course.

1157
01:10:15,008 --> 01:10:17,738
That's quite a getup you have on.
Going anywhere?

1158
01:10:17,911 --> 01:10:21,438
This? Oh, I just threw on anything at all.

1159
01:10:21,615 --> 01:10:25,779
- Aren't you dressing for dinner?
- No. Just what meets the eye.

1160
01:10:29,422 --> 01:10:31,652
Who does your hair, Maggie?

1161
01:10:32,959 --> 01:10:36,326
A little French woman named
Maggie Cutler comes in every morning.

1162
01:10:36,496 --> 01:10:40,330
You know, every time I see you, I keep
thinking your hair could be so lovely.

1163
01:10:40,500 --> 01:10:42,468
I always want to get my hands on it.

1164
01:10:43,203 --> 01:10:46,730
You know, I've always wanted
to get mine on yours, Lorraine.

1165
01:10:47,407 --> 01:10:49,307
What, dear?

1166
01:11:30,550 --> 01:11:33,781
- How long will Sherry be in there?
- Not long.

1167
01:11:34,387 --> 01:11:35,820
Lorraine...

1168
01:11:36,056 --> 01:11:39,548
...did you know that Mr. Jefferson
had written quite a good play?

1169
01:11:39,759 --> 01:11:41,886
The young man who
drove you to the hotel.

1170
01:11:42,062 --> 01:11:44,292
Really? No, I didn't.
Isn't that interesting?

1171
01:11:44,464 --> 01:11:46,694
Yes, isn't it?

1172
01:11:59,879 --> 01:12:01,642
Hello?

1173
01:12:06,086 --> 01:12:09,578
Yes, yes, Miss Lorraine Sheldon?
She's here. Yes, just a minute.

1174
01:12:09,789 --> 01:12:11,381
A long-distance call for you.

1175
01:12:11,558 --> 01:12:14,049
Long distance, for me, here?
Why, what in the world?

1176
01:12:14,227 --> 01:12:17,321
- It's South Carolina.
- Oh, South Carolina.

1177
01:12:17,497 --> 01:12:20,694
Hello? Hello? Cedric?

1178
01:12:20,867 --> 01:12:24,200
Why, Cedric. Why, what a surprise.

1179
01:12:24,370 --> 01:12:25,928
How did you know I was here?

1180
01:12:26,106 --> 01:12:29,906
Lorraine, my sweet, I was so upset
to return and find you gone.

1181
01:12:30,076 --> 01:12:33,739
I was devastated. Really, I was.
Absolutely devastated.

1182
01:12:33,913 --> 01:12:36,006
I simply had to call you and...

1183
01:12:36,549 --> 01:12:39,518
- I love you.
- What?

1184
01:12:39,686 --> 01:12:43,213
Darling, don't talk so fast.
Then you won't stutter so.

1185
01:12:43,389 --> 01:12:47,189
Yes. Yes, that's better.
Yes, now I can hear you very clearly.

1186
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:50,921
It's as though you were just
around the corner. I see.

1187
01:12:51,097 --> 01:12:56,467
I said, I simply had to call you
and tell you how much I...

1188
01:12:56,636 --> 01:12:59,434
- I adore you.
- What?

1189
01:12:59,606 --> 01:13:01,972
Oh, darling, I...

1190
01:13:02,142 --> 01:13:04,975
Cedric, dearest, will you
wait just a moment, please?

1191
01:13:05,145 --> 01:13:08,546
Maggie, do you mind? Lord Bottomley,
a very personal call. Do you mind?

1192
01:13:08,715 --> 01:13:10,478
Not at all.

1193
01:13:14,220 --> 01:13:16,245
Yes, my dearest, now tell me.

1194
01:13:23,596 --> 01:13:27,327
Cedric, please don't stutter so.
Don't be nervous.

1195
01:13:27,934 --> 01:13:31,597
Lorraine, my sweet,
I've got in touch with Mater...

1196
01:13:31,771 --> 01:13:36,003
...and she's given her consent
to our betrothal. Lorraine, my darling...

1197
01:13:36,176 --> 01:13:38,269
...will you?

1198
01:13:38,444 --> 01:13:44,280
- Will you be my wife?
- Oh, darling, yes. A thousand times, yes.

1199
01:13:44,450 --> 01:13:45,883
Oh, my darling.

1200
01:13:46,052 --> 01:13:49,510
Oh, my sweet. You don't know
how I've prayed for this every night.

1201
01:13:49,689 --> 01:13:52,658
I'll take a plane right out of here. What?

1202
01:13:56,196 --> 01:13:59,597
Cedric, please don't stutter so.

1203
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:03,128
Yes, I love you, my darling.

1204
01:14:03,303 --> 01:14:06,704
Oh, so much. Oh, my sweet.

1205
01:14:06,906 --> 01:14:10,433
Yes, I will. I'll be thinking of you
every moment.

1206
01:14:10,610 --> 01:14:15,047
You've made me the happiest girl
in the world. Goodbye.

1207
01:14:15,215 --> 01:14:19,015
Goodbye, darling. Goodbye.

1208
01:14:22,488 --> 01:14:25,548
Sherry? Sherry? Sherry, darling.

1209
01:14:25,725 --> 01:14:29,024
I can hardly wait to tell you,
it's unbelievable!

1210
01:14:29,195 --> 01:14:32,722
The most wonderful thing has happened.
Cedric called from South Carolina.

1211
01:14:32,899 --> 01:14:35,493
- He's asked me to marry him.
- What?

1212
01:14:35,668 --> 01:14:38,068
I must get out of here
and catch the next plane.

1213
01:14:38,238 --> 01:14:39,967
May I come in now, Lorraine?

1214
01:14:40,440 --> 01:14:42,931
Oh, Maggie, can I get a plane
out of here right away?

1215
01:14:43,109 --> 01:14:47,341
The most wonderful thing has happened.
Lord Bottomley's asked me to marry him.

1216
01:14:47,513 --> 01:14:49,003
- Really?
- Isn't it wonderful?

1217
01:14:49,182 --> 01:14:52,845
I'm so excited I can hardly think. Maggie,
you must help me get out of here.

1218
01:14:53,019 --> 01:14:55,681
- I'd be delighted to.
- Can you look up things?

1219
01:14:55,855 --> 01:14:58,983
I have a timetable over here.
If you can't catch a plane here...

1220
01:14:59,158 --> 01:15:03,117
...I'll drive you to Cleveland.
- Maggie, you're wonderful.

1221
01:15:03,296 --> 01:15:05,787
Sherry? Sherry, darling,
what's the matter?

1222
01:15:05,965 --> 01:15:08,490
You haven't said a word.
You haven't congratulated me.

1223
01:15:08,668 --> 01:15:10,295
Let me understand this, Lorraine.

1224
01:15:10,470 --> 01:15:12,131
Am I to gather from your squeals...

1225
01:15:12,305 --> 01:15:14,967
...you're about to toss your career
into the ashcan?

1226
01:15:15,141 --> 01:15:18,542
- You couldn't expect...
- Don't explain. I understand too well.

1227
01:15:18,711 --> 01:15:22,272
I also understand why Cornell
remains the first actress of our theater.

1228
01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:26,210
Lorraine, we're in luck. There's a plane
out of Cleveland at 10:03.

1229
01:15:26,386 --> 01:15:28,377
- Let me see.
- Takes an hour to drive over...

1230
01:15:28,554 --> 01:15:30,579
Isn't everything working out, Sherry?

1231
01:15:31,190 --> 01:15:32,521
Peachy.

1232
01:15:32,692 --> 01:15:36,253
What's the hotel where I'm staying?
I want to get my maid to start packing.

1233
01:15:36,429 --> 01:15:38,397
The Mansion House.

1234
01:15:40,900 --> 01:15:42,424
Mansion House, please.

1235
01:15:42,602 --> 01:15:45,400
Oh, it's snowing. Isn't that wonderful?

1236
01:15:45,571 --> 01:15:49,098
I've never felt so much like Christmas
in all my life. Don't you, Sherry?

1237
01:15:49,542 --> 01:15:52,602
Shut your nasty little face!

1238
01:15:53,413 --> 01:15:58,316
Hello. Hello? This is Miss Sheldon.
Put me through to my maid, please.

1239
01:16:00,053 --> 01:16:02,783
Cosette? Now listen carefully, Cosette.

1240
01:16:02,956 --> 01:16:05,390
We're leaving by plane
tonight for South Carolina.

1241
01:16:05,558 --> 01:16:08,789
Start packing immediately,
and I'll call for you in an hour.

1242
01:16:08,962 --> 01:16:11,863
That's right. Now, I want you
to send some telegrams for me.

1243
01:16:12,031 --> 01:16:13,931
Have you got a pencil? Right.

1244
01:16:14,100 --> 01:16:16,967
The first one goes to the
Duchess of Sutherland, in Newport.

1245
01:16:17,170 --> 01:16:21,368
You'll find all the addresses in that little
book in my dressing case. Now, ready?

1246
01:16:22,075 --> 01:16:26,671
"Darling, Cedric and I are being
married tomorrow, South Carolina.

1247
01:16:26,846 --> 01:16:30,839
Wanted you to be the first
to know. Love, Lorraine."

1248
01:16:31,017 --> 01:16:35,113
Oh, Madame, I am so happy.
At last you have hooked him.

1249
01:16:35,288 --> 01:16:38,086
Thank you, Cosette. Thank you.

1250
01:16:38,257 --> 01:16:41,249
Now send the same message
to Mr. and Mrs. Perry Livingston...

1251
01:16:41,427 --> 01:16:44,294
...Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt
and my mother in Kansas City.

1252
01:16:44,464 --> 01:16:47,262
Now I'll send a wire
to Tiffany's, New York:

1253
01:16:47,433 --> 01:16:50,300
"Can you bring to South Carolina
the string of pearls...

1254
01:16:50,470 --> 01:16:53,769
...I picked out in October?
Lorraine Sheldon."

1255
01:16:53,940 --> 01:16:56,807
Now, have you got all that straight,
Cosette? That's fine.

1256
01:16:56,976 --> 01:17:01,003
Oh, you must hurry, dear. I'll be there in
about an hour, and you mustn't be late.

1257
01:17:01,214 --> 01:17:04,308
All right. Goodbye.

1258
01:17:05,218 --> 01:17:07,948
Thank goodness for Cosette.
I'd die without her.

1259
01:17:08,121 --> 01:17:11,090
Who would've thought an hour ago
I'd be on my way to Carolina?

1260
01:17:11,257 --> 01:17:13,248
Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

1261
01:17:13,426 --> 01:17:16,987
Will you both stop this female
drooling? I have a violent headache.

1262
01:17:17,163 --> 01:17:20,257
- Sherry, can't I get you something?
- Now, look here, Sherry.

1263
01:17:20,433 --> 01:17:22,196
After all, my life is my own.

1264
01:17:22,368 --> 01:17:24,768
- Good evening, Mr. Jefferson.
- Hello, John.

1265
01:17:24,937 --> 01:17:27,337
Hello, everybody.
Do you know it's snowing out?

1266
01:17:27,507 --> 01:17:29,498
We're gonna have
an old-fashioned Christmas.

1267
01:17:29,675 --> 01:17:33,668
Why don't you telephone your scoop
to the Associated Press.

1268
01:17:34,480 --> 01:17:38,712
Bert, Miss Sheldon has to catch a plane
tonight. Shall we drive her, you and I?

1269
01:17:38,885 --> 01:17:41,877
Why, certainly. Oh, thanks, Maggie.

1270
01:17:42,055 --> 01:17:44,523
Sorry you have to go.
No bad news, I hope.

1271
01:17:44,690 --> 01:17:47,352
Oh, on the contrary,
very good news. Wonderful news.

1272
01:17:47,527 --> 01:17:50,018
Yes, indeed. Calls for a drink, I think.

1273
01:17:50,196 --> 01:17:53,495
Sherry, you're not a very good host.
How about a bottle of champagne?

1274
01:17:53,666 --> 01:17:56,464
I can do better than that.
Let me mix you a Jefferson Special.

1275
01:17:56,636 --> 01:17:59,230
- How about it, Mr. Whiteside?
- Oh, yes, yes, yes.

1276
01:17:59,405 --> 01:18:01,703
Mix anything, only stop driveling.

1277
01:18:01,874 --> 01:18:04,206
Anybody admired
my Christmas present yet, Maggie?

1278
01:18:04,377 --> 01:18:07,540
Oh, I forgot. From Mr. Jefferson to me.

1279
01:18:07,713 --> 01:18:09,408
Oh, Maggie, let me see.

1280
01:18:09,582 --> 01:18:12,016
Why, that's charming.
That's a lovely present.

1281
01:18:12,185 --> 01:18:15,848
- Isn't that sweet, Sherry?
- Ducky!

1282
01:18:17,657 --> 01:18:19,750
I told you it was beautiful, Bert. See?

1283
01:18:19,926 --> 01:18:24,192
What's going on between you two?
Are you hiding something from us?

1284
01:18:24,363 --> 01:18:27,821
Great heavens, will this drivel
never stop? My head is bursting.

1285
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,901
My Jefferson Special
will cure anything.

1286
01:18:31,070 --> 01:18:34,597
By the way, I got a one-minute interview
with Beverly Carlton at the station.

1287
01:18:34,774 --> 01:18:38,039
- You were right, he's quite something.
- Mix the drinks, will you?

1288
01:18:38,211 --> 01:18:40,907
I was lucky to get a minute.
He was in a telephone booth.

1289
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:43,742
- Bert, mix the drinks.
- Okay. Couldn't hear him...

1290
01:18:43,916 --> 01:18:47,408
...but from the faces he was making,
it looked like a scene from a play.

1291
01:18:47,587 --> 01:18:51,353
Just a moment if you please,
Mr. Jefferson.

1292
01:18:51,524 --> 01:18:54,015
Mr. Carlton was in a telephone booth
at the station?

1293
01:18:54,193 --> 01:18:56,388
Certainly was.
I thought he'd never come out.

1294
01:18:56,562 --> 01:18:59,827
Kept talking and making the darnedest
faces for about five minutes.

1295
01:19:00,566 --> 01:19:03,694
Bert, my boy, I feel that
I'm gonna love the Jefferson Special.

1296
01:19:03,870 --> 01:19:07,271
Make me a double one, will you?
My headache is gone with the wind.

1297
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:09,465
Okay.

1298
01:19:11,911 --> 01:19:15,210
Philo Vance is now at work.

1299
01:19:18,551 --> 01:19:20,451
Operator?

1300
01:19:20,620 --> 01:19:22,713
Have there been any calls
over this phone...

1301
01:19:22,889 --> 01:19:26,086
...from South Carolina
during the past half-hour?

1302
01:19:26,259 --> 01:19:28,193
Yes, I'll wait.

1303
01:19:28,361 --> 01:19:30,795
Sherry, what is all this?

1304
01:19:31,731 --> 01:19:32,959
What's that?

1305
01:19:33,132 --> 01:19:36,533
There have been no calls
from South Carolina at any time?

1306
01:19:37,069 --> 01:19:40,732
Thank you. Now, will you repeat that,
please? Blossom girl.

1307
01:19:41,641 --> 01:19:43,370
Hear it, dear?

1308
01:19:44,443 --> 01:19:46,775
Thank you, operator.
And merry Christmas.

1309
01:19:46,946 --> 01:19:48,470
What is this? What does it mean?

1310
01:19:48,648 --> 01:19:52,641
You've just played the love scene of your
career with your friend, Beverly Carlton.

1311
01:19:52,818 --> 01:19:55,309
Not true, I was talking to Cedric.
What do you mean?

1312
01:19:55,488 --> 01:19:59,754
I mean, that was Beverly you poured out
your girlish heart to, not Lord Bottomley.

1313
01:19:59,926 --> 01:20:03,589
Who would've thought five minutes ago
you would not be going to Carolina.

1314
01:20:03,763 --> 01:20:05,128
I want this explained.

1315
01:20:05,298 --> 01:20:08,699
Explained? You've heard Beverly imitate
Lord Bottomley before, haven't you?

1316
01:20:08,868 --> 01:20:10,802
Yes, yes, of course, but why?

1317
01:20:10,970 --> 01:20:13,336
Why in the world would
he want to do such a thing?

1318
01:20:13,506 --> 01:20:15,997
Why, this is the most dreadful...

1319
01:20:17,343 --> 01:20:19,607
Oh, those telegrams.

1320
01:20:21,347 --> 01:20:24,646
Give me the hotel, whatever
it's called. I want the hotel!

1321
01:20:24,817 --> 01:20:27,684
The rat. I'll pay him back
for this if it's the last thing...

1322
01:20:27,853 --> 01:20:29,980
The skunk. The dirty, rotten...

1323
01:20:30,156 --> 01:20:32,488
Mansion House? Connect me
with my maid.

1324
01:20:32,658 --> 01:20:36,059
What? Who the devil do you think
it is? Miss Sheldon, of course.

1325
01:20:36,229 --> 01:20:38,561
Oh, if only Cosette hasn't sent those...

1326
01:20:38,731 --> 01:20:42,531
Cosette. Cosette, did you send
those telegrams?

1327
01:20:43,502 --> 01:20:47,302
Cosette, I want you to send another
telegram to every one of those people.

1328
01:20:47,473 --> 01:20:50,499
Tell them somebody's been
using my name, and to disregard...

1329
01:20:50,676 --> 01:20:53,509
...everything they hear from me,
except this, of course.

1330
01:20:53,679 --> 01:20:56,341
Don't ask questions,
do as you're told.

1331
01:20:56,515 --> 01:21:00,007
Don't argue with me, you French
moron! Unpack, we're not going!

1332
01:21:00,186 --> 01:21:03,212
- Steady, blossom, take it easy.
- What do you mean?

1333
01:21:03,389 --> 01:21:07,485
Do you realize I'll be the laughingstock
of New York? I knew Beverly was low...

1334
01:21:07,660 --> 01:21:10,185
...but not this low. Why? Why?

1335
01:21:10,363 --> 01:21:13,594
Why would anyone in the world
want to play a silly trick like this?

1336
01:21:13,766 --> 01:21:16,860
I can't understand it.
Do you, Sherry? Do you, Maggie?

1337
01:21:17,036 --> 01:21:20,028
Why would he walk out of here,
straight to a telephone booth...

1338
01:21:20,206 --> 01:21:23,869
...and send me to South Carolina on
a fool's errand? Must be some reason.

1339
01:21:24,043 --> 01:21:27,604
Why would Beverly Carlton or anyone
else, for that matter, want me to...

1340
01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:36,481
I think I begin...

1341
01:21:36,656 --> 01:21:39,591
Of course, of course, that's it!

1342
01:21:39,759 --> 01:21:43,889
Yes, and that's a very charming bracelet
Mr. Jefferson gave you, isn't it, Maggie?

1343
01:21:44,063 --> 01:21:47,191
It makes complete sense now.
And to think that I nearly...

1344
01:21:47,366 --> 01:21:50,096
Well, wild horses couldn't
get me out of here now, Maggie.

1345
01:21:50,269 --> 01:21:53,397
If I were you, I'd hang on
to that charming little bracelet, dear.

1346
01:21:53,572 --> 01:21:55,631
It'll be something to remember him by.

1347
01:21:55,808 --> 01:21:59,505
Mr. Whiteside, it's almost time.
Hook him up, boys, and start testing.

1348
01:21:59,679 --> 01:22:02,045
Give us a hand with the furniture.
Move it out.

1349
01:22:02,214 --> 01:22:04,808
- Miss Cutler, here's the new script.
- Come, Daisy.

1350
01:22:05,017 --> 01:22:07,781
Testing, one, two, three, four.
Mary had a little lamb.

1351
01:22:07,953 --> 01:22:10,148
One, two, three, four.
Mary had a little lamb.

1352
01:22:10,323 --> 01:22:12,723
Here comes a Jefferson Special.
Oh, have we time?

1353
01:22:12,892 --> 01:22:16,555
Sure we have, Mr. Jefferson. I'm not
leaving after all. My plans are changed.

1354
01:22:16,729 --> 01:22:20,096
- Really? Oh, that's good.
- You can read the play to me tonight.

1355
01:22:20,266 --> 01:22:22,257
We'll go to the Mansion House
after dinner.

1356
01:22:22,435 --> 01:22:25,632
I should say so. I'd be delighted.
Maggie, did you hear that?

1357
01:22:25,805 --> 01:22:28,296
I'll bet you did this.
You arranged the whole thing.

1358
01:22:28,474 --> 01:22:31,375
It's the finest Christmas present
you could've given me.

1359
01:22:37,249 --> 01:22:38,682
Maggie!

1360
01:22:38,851 --> 01:22:40,751
Maggie!

1361
01:22:43,356 --> 01:22:45,847
- Where would you like to have this?
- Quiet, please!

1362
01:22:46,025 --> 01:22:49,290
My son has run off on a freighter!
My daughter's marrying an anarchist!

1363
01:22:49,462 --> 01:22:50,929
Oh, I see he's still busy.

1364
01:22:51,097 --> 01:22:56,729
Quiet! Stand back from the microphone
and let Mr. Whiteside broadcast, please.

1365
01:22:56,902 --> 01:22:59,564
Get the heck out of here,
we're going on the air!

1366
01:22:59,739 --> 01:23:03,300
All right, boys, step right this way.
We'll use the microphone over here.

1367
01:23:03,876 --> 01:23:07,175
Snap into it, fellas, snap into it.
Okay, New York.

1368
01:23:08,147 --> 01:23:11,913
Cream of Mush brings you
Sheridan Whiteside.

1369
01:23:19,458 --> 01:23:20,857
A penguin bit me.

1370
01:23:23,362 --> 01:23:25,694
This is Whiteside speaking.

1371
01:23:25,865 --> 01:23:27,526
On this eve of eves...

1372
01:23:27,700 --> 01:23:31,136
...when my own heart is overflowing
with peace and kindness...

1373
01:23:31,303 --> 01:23:34,204
...I think it is most fitting
to tell once again the story...

1374
01:23:34,373 --> 01:23:37,069
...of that still and lustrous night.

1375
01:23:38,210 --> 01:23:39,802
A fine Christmas morning.

1376
01:23:39,979 --> 01:23:44,006
Mrs. Stanley up there crying in her room,
Mr. Stanley in Chicago someplace.

1377
01:23:44,183 --> 01:23:46,674
Think he'll catch them in time
to stop the marriage?

1378
01:23:46,852 --> 01:23:50,310
I don't know, Sarah. Nobody knows
where Mr. Richard went.

1379
01:23:50,489 --> 01:23:54,186
Even Mr. Whiteside bit my head off
when I asked if he wanted breakfast.

1380
01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:57,386
Miss Cutler didn't take any.
What's the matter with everybody?

1381
01:23:57,563 --> 01:24:00,498
- Good morning. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Mr. Whiteside.

1382
01:24:00,666 --> 01:24:02,156
Merry Christmas, John, Sarah.

1383
01:24:02,334 --> 01:24:04,268
- Has Miss Cutler come down yet?
- Not yet.

1384
01:24:04,437 --> 01:24:06,997
- Is she still in her room?
- Yes. Shall I call her?

1385
01:24:07,173 --> 01:24:10,267
- No, that's all. Thank you, John.
- Yes, sir.

1386
01:24:10,876 --> 01:24:14,744
You don't think it's all got something
to do with Mr. Whiteside, do you?

1387
01:24:14,914 --> 01:24:18,782
Mr. Whiteside? A lovely man like him?
No.

1388
01:24:27,860 --> 01:24:30,351
You can drop
that guilty expression, Sherry.

1389
01:24:30,529 --> 01:24:33,692
It's not a guilty expression.
I simply haven't had breakfast.

1390
01:24:33,866 --> 01:24:37,802
- Maggie, if you'd only listen to reason...
- I'm taking the 1 :00 train. I'm leaving.

1391
01:24:37,970 --> 01:24:42,532
- You're doing nothing of the kind.
- Here are your keys and driver's license.

1392
01:24:42,708 --> 01:24:45,609
The key to the safety vault is
in your apartment in New York.

1393
01:24:45,778 --> 01:24:49,874
- I'm going in here to clear things up.
- Just a moment, Sarah Bernhardt.

1394
01:24:50,049 --> 01:24:54,577
Where were you until 3:00 this morning?
I sat up half the night worrying.

1395
01:24:54,753 --> 01:24:57,551
You heard me call when you
came in. Why didn't you answer?

1396
01:24:57,723 --> 01:25:00,988
Sherry, it's all over, and you won.
I don't want to talk about it.

1397
01:25:01,193 --> 01:25:04,924
Oh, come, come. What are you trying
to do, make me feel like a naughty boy?

1398
01:25:05,097 --> 01:25:08,624
Honestly, Maggie, sometimes
you can be very annoying.

1399
01:25:09,802 --> 01:25:13,260
Sherry, you're quite wonderful in a way.

1400
01:25:13,839 --> 01:25:15,830
You're annoyed.

1401
01:25:16,141 --> 01:25:19,269
I wish I had a laugh left in me.

1402
01:25:20,112 --> 01:25:22,342
Shall I tell you something, Sherry?

1403
01:25:22,515 --> 01:25:25,416
I think you're a selfish,
petty egomaniac...

1404
01:25:25,584 --> 01:25:28,519
...who would just as soon see
his mother burning at a stake...

1405
01:25:28,721 --> 01:25:31,451
...if that was the only way
he had to light a cigarette.

1406
01:25:31,624 --> 01:25:35,822
I think you'd sacrifice your best friend
without a moment's hesitation...

1407
01:25:35,995 --> 01:25:40,728
...if he interrupted the sacred ritual
of your self-centered, paltry little life.

1408
01:25:40,900 --> 01:25:44,461
I think you're incapable of any emotion
higher up than your stomach.

1409
01:25:44,637 --> 01:25:47,197
And I was the fool of the world
for trusting you.

1410
01:25:48,340 --> 01:25:52,936
Well. As long as I live, I'll never
do anyone a good turn again.

1411
01:25:53,112 --> 01:25:57,811
I shan't ask you to apologize. Six months
from now, you'll be thanking me.

1412
01:25:57,983 --> 01:26:02,852
Sherry, in six months' time,
I'll be so far away from you that...

1413
01:26:04,690 --> 01:26:09,024
Hello, hello. Merry Christmas,
everybody. Merry Christmas.

1414
01:26:09,194 --> 01:26:13,995
I'm a little high, but I can explain.
Hiya, Maggie. Hiya, Mr. Whiteside.

1415
01:26:14,166 --> 01:26:16,396
Shake hands with
a successful playwright.

1416
01:26:16,569 --> 01:26:19,299
Maggie, why did you run away
last night? Where were you?

1417
01:26:19,471 --> 01:26:22,565
Miss Sheldon thinks the play is
wonderful. I read her the play...

1418
01:26:22,775 --> 01:26:25,175
...she thinks it's wonderful.
Isn't that wonderful?

1419
01:26:25,344 --> 01:26:28,211
- That's fine, Bert.
- Isn't that wonderful, Mr. Whiteside?

1420
01:26:28,380 --> 01:26:30,348
I think you ought to go home,
don't you?

1421
01:26:30,516 --> 01:26:32,882
What? No. Biggest day of my life.

1422
01:26:33,052 --> 01:26:35,543
I know I'm a little drunk,
but this is a big day.

1423
01:26:35,721 --> 01:26:38,554
We've been sitting over in
Billy's tavern all night long.

1424
01:26:38,724 --> 01:26:42,387
Miss Sheldon thinks the play needs
a little fixing. Do it in three weeks.

1425
01:26:42,561 --> 01:26:44,552
She's gonna take me to Lake Placid.

1426
01:26:44,730 --> 01:26:47,392
We're gonna work together.
Isn't that wonderful?

1427
01:26:47,566 --> 01:26:49,329
Why don't you say something?

1428
01:26:49,501 --> 01:26:53,437
I suggest you tell us about this later.
Now I think you ought to go home.

1429
01:26:53,606 --> 01:26:58,202
Excuse me. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Merry Christmas. I thought that perhaps...

1430
01:26:58,377 --> 01:27:02,575
Would you do me a favor? Mr. Jefferson
would like coffee and breakfast.

1431
01:27:02,748 --> 01:27:05,046
- Would you take care of him, please?
- Of course.

1432
01:27:05,217 --> 01:27:10,120
Dr. Bradley, I want to buy breakfast for
you. The biggest breakfast you ever had.

1433
01:27:10,289 --> 01:27:12,723
- I know what we'll do, doctor.
- Yes, come along.

1434
01:27:12,891 --> 01:27:14,188
Let's climb down chimneys.

1435
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,624
I got a friend
that doesn't believe in Santa.

1436
01:27:16,829 --> 01:27:20,697
Let's climb down his chimney
and scare the pants off of him.

1437
01:27:20,933 --> 01:27:25,768
Look. I'm willing to forgive your tawdry
outburst and talk about this calmly...

1438
01:27:26,538 --> 01:27:32,568
Oh, Sherry, I love him so terribly.
Why did you do it? Why did you do it?

1439
01:27:43,422 --> 01:27:45,856
Merry Christmas, Mr. Whiteside.

1440
01:27:46,025 --> 01:27:47,492
Merry Christmas, Miss Stanley.

1441
01:27:47,660 --> 01:27:52,962
I'm afraid I shouldn't be seen talking
to you. My brother is terribly angry.

1442
01:27:53,132 --> 01:27:57,762
But I couldn't resist asking.
Did you like my Christmas present?

1443
01:27:57,936 --> 01:28:00,666
I'm terribly sorry, Miss Stanley,
I haven't opened it yet.

1444
01:28:00,873 --> 01:28:03,000
Well, I haven't opened
any of my presents yet.

1445
01:28:03,175 --> 01:28:06,303
Oh, dear, I was so anxious to...

1446
01:28:06,478 --> 01:28:11,006
Why, it's right here, Mr. Whiteside.
Won't you open it now?

1447
01:28:11,183 --> 01:28:13,913
I appreciated your thinking of me
this way, Miss Stanley.

1448
01:28:14,086 --> 01:28:16,452
It was very thoughtful of you.

1449
01:28:17,489 --> 01:28:19,184
Why, it's lovely.

1450
01:28:19,358 --> 01:28:23,419
I'm very fond of these old
photographs. Thank you very much.

1451
01:28:23,595 --> 01:28:29,932
I was 22 when that was taken.
That was my favorite dress.

1452
01:28:30,269 --> 01:28:32,703
- Do you really like it?
- I do indeed.

1453
01:28:32,905 --> 01:28:35,203
When I get back to town,
I shall send you a gift.

1454
01:28:35,407 --> 01:28:41,039
Will you? Oh, thank you,
Mr. Whiteside. I shall treasure it...

1455
01:28:41,780 --> 01:28:46,217
Well, I shall be late for church.

1456
01:28:48,353 --> 01:28:49,980
Goodbye.

1457
01:28:52,725 --> 01:28:54,693
Goodbye.

1458
01:28:59,998 --> 01:29:03,798
Sarah's got a little surprise for you.
She's just taking it out of the oven.

1459
01:29:03,969 --> 01:29:05,994
Oh, thank you, John.

1460
01:29:06,705 --> 01:29:09,503
What is it about that woman?

1461
01:29:19,351 --> 01:29:20,784
Miss Preen.

1462
01:29:20,953 --> 01:29:23,581
- Miss Preen!
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

1463
01:29:23,756 --> 01:29:26,520
Miss Preen, where do you
hide yourself all the time?

1464
01:29:26,692 --> 01:29:29,889
Mr. Whiteside, I can only be
in one place at a time.

1465
01:29:30,062 --> 01:29:32,257
That's very fortunate
for this community.

1466
01:29:32,431 --> 01:29:35,127
Now, go and answer the door.
John's gone upstairs.

1467
01:29:35,300 --> 01:29:37,029
Go on!

1468
01:29:46,378 --> 01:29:48,243
My beautiful one!

1469
01:29:51,216 --> 01:29:53,343
You're gorgeous. You're beautiful.

1470
01:29:53,519 --> 01:29:55,749
- Put me down, do you hear?
- I love you madly.

1471
01:29:55,921 --> 01:29:58,355
- Madly. Do you hear what I said?
- Put me down!

1472
01:29:58,524 --> 01:30:01,391
- Kiss me!
- Don't you dare kiss me. I'll scream!

1473
01:30:01,560 --> 01:30:04,620
Don't be afraid of my hot
Spanish blood. Kiss me!

1474
01:30:04,797 --> 01:30:07,527
I can feel the blood pounding
through your varicose veins.

1475
01:30:07,699 --> 01:30:09,428
- Banjo.
- Whiteside.

1476
01:30:09,601 --> 01:30:11,569
Will you sign for this package, please?

1477
01:30:11,737 --> 01:30:15,571
Put that woman down. That's
my nurse, you mental delinquent.

1478
01:30:15,741 --> 01:30:18,232
Come to my room in a half-hour.

1479
01:30:18,410 --> 01:30:21,743
And bring some rye bread.

1480
01:30:24,650 --> 01:30:28,916
Really. Mr. Whiteside!

1481
01:30:33,792 --> 01:30:36,920
Whiteside, I'm here
to spend Christmas with you.

1482
01:30:37,796 --> 01:30:42,824
I think. I may stay a month,
or I may leave immediately.

1483
01:30:43,035 --> 01:30:46,869
I don't know. Things are so uncertain.

1484
01:31:14,666 --> 01:31:18,158
Oh, will you shut up,
you reform-school fugitive.

1485
01:31:18,804 --> 01:31:21,364
Whiteside, I loves you, I loves you.

1486
01:31:21,573 --> 01:31:24,974
- How'd you get here anyway?
- Santa Claus loaned me his reindeer.

1487
01:31:25,143 --> 01:31:29,136
Whiteside, we finished shooting
a picture yesterday, so, what did I do?

1488
01:31:29,314 --> 01:31:34,251
I borrowed the B-19 from the Army,
and I'm on my way to Nova Scotia.

1489
01:31:36,154 --> 01:31:38,645
I brought you a wonderful present.

1490
01:31:38,824 --> 01:31:43,488
This sweater was once worn
by Lana Turner. Try it on for size.

1491
01:31:43,662 --> 01:31:47,621
- How long can you stay?
- Just long enough to take a bath.

1492
01:31:48,700 --> 01:31:51,362
I'm on my way to Nova Scotia.
Where's Maggie?

1493
01:31:51,536 --> 01:31:54,198
Nova Scotia. What are you
going to Nova Scotia for?

1494
01:31:54,373 --> 01:31:57,831
I'm sick of Hollywood, and there's
a dame in New York I don't wanna see.

1495
01:31:58,010 --> 01:32:01,502
So I figured I'd go to Nova Scotia
and get some smoked salmon.

1496
01:32:01,747 --> 01:32:05,649
Now, where the devil's Maggie? I wanna
see her. What's the matter with you?

1497
01:32:05,817 --> 01:32:07,842
Where is she?

1498
01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:10,247
Bum Bums.

1499
01:32:10,422 --> 01:32:13,653
Banjo, I'm glad you're here.
I'm very annoyed at Maggie, very.

1500
01:32:13,825 --> 01:32:16,157
Why? What's the matter?

1501
01:32:19,364 --> 01:32:21,423
What is this? I thought
you couldn't walk.

1502
01:32:21,633 --> 01:32:24,033
I've been all right for weeks.
I'm furious at Maggie.

1503
01:32:24,202 --> 01:32:27,103
She turned on me like a viper.
You know how fond I am of her.

1504
01:32:27,272 --> 01:32:30,571
She's repaying my affections
by behaving like a fishwife.

1505
01:32:30,742 --> 01:32:33,870
- What are you talking about?
- I never believed she loved him.

1506
01:32:34,046 --> 01:32:37,880
Loved who? I just got here.
Remember?

1507
01:32:38,050 --> 01:32:42,419
I'm trying to tell you, you Hollywood
nitwit. A newspaperman, here in town.

1508
01:32:42,587 --> 01:32:47,286
So Maggie finally fell.
Well, what do you know.

1509
01:32:47,459 --> 01:32:48,926
Say, what kind of a guy is he?

1510
01:32:49,094 --> 01:32:51,255
- Shut up and listen, will you?
- What happened?

1511
01:32:51,430 --> 01:32:53,921
Lorraine Sheldon happened
to come out and visit me.

1512
01:32:54,099 --> 01:32:57,466
- The oomph girl, here? Well...
- Now, listen.

1513
01:32:57,669 --> 01:33:00,763
This fellow had written a play.
Well, you can guess the rest.

1514
01:33:00,939 --> 01:33:03,931
He's going away with Lorraine
this afternoon, to rewrite.

1515
01:33:04,476 --> 01:33:07,741
So there you are. Maggie's in there now,
crying her eyes out.

1516
01:33:10,682 --> 01:33:13,310
What do you mean, Lorraine
Sheldon happened to come here?

1517
01:33:13,485 --> 01:33:17,080
I smell a rat, Sherry.
A rat with a beard.

1518
01:33:17,255 --> 01:33:20,782
All right, but I did it for Maggie.
I thought it was right for her.

1519
01:33:20,959 --> 01:33:24,554
Sure. You haven't thought
of yourself in years.

1520
01:33:24,730 --> 01:33:28,029
- Gee, poor kid. Can I go talk to her?
- No, leave her alone.

1521
01:33:28,200 --> 01:33:31,465
Where does this guy she likes live?
Can we get ahold of him?

1522
01:33:31,636 --> 01:33:34,434
Wait, Banjo. We don't want
any phony warrants...

1523
01:33:34,606 --> 01:33:37,473
...or you pretending to be
J. Edgar Hoover.

1524
01:33:37,642 --> 01:33:40,907
I've been through that with you
before. I got Lorraine out here...

1525
01:33:41,079 --> 01:33:42,546
...I've got to get her away.

1526
01:33:42,714 --> 01:33:45,239
It's gotta be good, Sherry.
Lorraine's no dope.

1527
01:33:45,417 --> 01:33:48,352
There must be something that would
get her out of here like...

1528
01:33:48,520 --> 01:33:50,181
Say, I think I got it.

1529
01:33:50,355 --> 01:33:55,452
That Englishman she's so crazy about.
What's his name again? Lord Bottomley.

1530
01:33:55,627 --> 01:33:56,958
That's it. Bottomley.

1531
01:33:57,129 --> 01:34:00,098
- No, Banjo, no.
- Wait a minute, you don't catch on.

1532
01:34:00,265 --> 01:34:02,324
We send Lorraine a telegram
from this bird...

1533
01:34:02,501 --> 01:34:06,597
I catch on. Lorraine caught on too.
It's been tried.

1534
01:34:06,772 --> 01:34:08,672
I told you Lorraine was no dope.

1535
01:34:08,840 --> 01:34:11,274
Well, you've got a tough
proposition on your hands.

1536
01:34:11,443 --> 01:34:14,640
There's little time. Lorraine's taking
him with her this afternoon.

1537
01:34:14,813 --> 01:34:18,044
There must be some way out of this.
Trouble is, I've done this too well.

1538
01:34:18,216 --> 01:34:19,547
Stuck, huh?

1539
01:34:19,718 --> 01:34:23,051
In the words of one of our
greatest lyric poets, "You said it."

1540
01:34:23,221 --> 01:34:26,748
Listen, I'm hungry. Don't worry,
we'll think of something, Sherry.

1541
01:34:26,925 --> 01:34:31,328
We'll get Lorraine out of here
if I gotta do it a piece at a time.

1542
01:34:32,364 --> 01:34:34,594
Get out of my chair. Go on.

1543
01:34:34,766 --> 01:34:37,496
Mr. Whiteside... Oh, excuse me.

1544
01:34:37,669 --> 01:34:40,035
Come right in, Sarah,
it's quite all right.

1545
01:34:40,539 --> 01:34:44,305
- I've got something for you.
- You have?

1546
01:34:44,476 --> 01:34:49,038
- But, Mr. Whiteside, it was for you.
- Oh, never mind, Sarah, he's quite mad.

1547
01:34:49,214 --> 01:34:53,310
Come, Petrouchka, we will dance.
We will dance in the snow...

1548
01:34:53,485 --> 01:34:56,545
...while all St. Petersburg
is aflame with jealousy.

1549
01:34:58,090 --> 01:35:01,753
Just give him some breakfast,
Sarah, he's harmless.

1550
01:35:07,966 --> 01:35:09,228
Just what does this mean?

1551
01:35:09,401 --> 01:35:11,426
It means, Mr. Whiteside,
that I am leaving.

1552
01:35:11,603 --> 01:35:14,595
My address is on the desk inside.
You can send me a check.

1553
01:35:14,806 --> 01:35:17,604
You realize, Miss Preen, this
is completely unprofessional.

1554
01:35:17,809 --> 01:35:21,939
I do indeed. I am not only walking out
on this case, Mr. Whiteside...

1555
01:35:22,114 --> 01:35:24,548
...I am leaving
the nursing profession.

1556
01:35:24,716 --> 01:35:27,879
I became a nurse because all my life,
since I was a little girl...

1557
01:35:28,053 --> 01:35:31,682
...I was filled with the idea
of serving a suffering humanity.

1558
01:35:31,857 --> 01:35:34,087
After one month with you,
Mr. Whiteside...

1559
01:35:34,259 --> 01:35:36,727
...I'm going to work
in a munitions factory.

1560
01:35:36,895 --> 01:35:40,092
Anything that I can do
to help exterminate the human race...

1561
01:35:40,265 --> 01:35:42,460
...will fill me
with the greatest of pleasure.

1562
01:35:42,634 --> 01:35:45,967
Mr. Whiteside,
if Florence Nightingale...

1563
01:35:46,138 --> 01:35:49,767
...had ever nursed you,
she would've married Jack the Ripper...

1564
01:35:49,941 --> 01:35:52,409
...instead of founding
the Red Cross. Good day.

1565
01:36:00,886 --> 01:36:03,650
June. June, my baby.
Mr. Stanley's here with June.

1566
01:36:03,855 --> 01:36:05,288
He's brought June back.

1567
01:36:05,457 --> 01:36:07,789
Thank goodness, thank goodness!

1568
01:36:07,959 --> 01:36:11,087
- Darling, you're not married?
- I'm not. Don't get hysterical.

1569
01:36:11,263 --> 01:36:14,664
Anybody but that awful boy.
Ernest, thank goodness you stopped it.

1570
01:36:14,866 --> 01:36:16,663
- How did you do it?
- Never mind, Daisy.

1571
01:36:16,868 --> 01:36:19,996
Just take June upstairs. I have
something to say to Mr. Whiteside.

1572
01:36:20,172 --> 01:36:23,403
- What about, Richard?
- It's all right, Daisy, all under control.

1573
01:36:23,575 --> 01:36:26,567
- Just take June upstairs.
- We've had enough melodrama.

1574
01:36:26,745 --> 01:36:28,906
I don't have to be taken,
I'll go upstairs.

1575
01:36:29,080 --> 01:36:31,674
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, June.

1576
01:36:31,850 --> 01:36:34,944
- Lock me in my room.
- You'll feel much better after a hot bath.

1577
01:36:35,153 --> 01:36:37,314
Have you had anything to eat?

1578
01:36:37,489 --> 01:36:39,821
I am pleased to inform you,
sir, that your plans...

1579
01:36:39,991 --> 01:36:42,482
...for my daughter
seem to have gone a trifle awry.

1580
01:36:42,661 --> 01:36:46,256
She is not, nor will she ever be,
married to that labor agitator...

1581
01:36:46,431 --> 01:36:48,422
...that you so kindly picked out
for her.

1582
01:36:48,600 --> 01:36:51,000
As for my son,
he has been apprehended...

1583
01:36:51,169 --> 01:36:53,694
...in Toledo and will be
brought home within the hour.

1584
01:36:53,905 --> 01:36:55,839
Not having your gift for invective...

1585
01:36:56,007 --> 01:37:00,307
...I cannot tell you what I think of your
obnoxious interference in my affairs...

1586
01:37:00,478 --> 01:37:03,538
...but I have arranged
that you will interfere no longer.

1587
01:37:03,715 --> 01:37:06,445
Mr. Whiteside, these gentlemen
are deputy sheriffs.

1588
01:37:06,618 --> 01:37:10,418
They have a warrant by which I will be
enabled to put you out of this house.

1589
01:37:10,589 --> 01:37:14,286
And I need hardly add that it will
be the greatest moment of my life.

1590
01:37:14,459 --> 01:37:18,896
Mr. Whiteside, I am giving you 15
minutes in which to pack up and get out.

1591
01:37:19,064 --> 01:37:23,364
If you have not gone in 15 minutes,
these gentlemen will forcibly eject you.

1592
01:37:23,535 --> 01:37:26,732
Thank you, gentlemen.
Will you wait outside, please?

1593
01:37:26,938 --> 01:37:29,873
Fifteen minutes, Mr. Whiteside,
and that means bag, baggage...

1594
01:37:30,041 --> 01:37:33,033
...wheelchair, penguins and octopus.

1595
01:37:33,211 --> 01:37:35,543
I am now going upstairs
to smash our radio...

1596
01:37:35,714 --> 01:37:39,206
...so that not even accidentally
will I ever hear your voice again.

1597
01:37:39,384 --> 01:37:42,080
Sure you don't want
my autograph, old fellow?

1598
01:37:42,254 --> 01:37:46,020
Fifteen minutes, Mr. Whiteside.

1599
01:37:46,191 --> 01:37:50,855
Well, Whiteside, I didn't get an idea,
but the food was wonderful.

1600
01:37:51,029 --> 01:37:52,519
- Any news from the front?
- Yes.

1601
01:37:52,697 --> 01:37:56,531
- The enemy is at my rear and nibbling.
- Where did you say Maggie was?

1602
01:37:56,701 --> 01:37:58,828
It's no use, she's taking
the 1 :00 train out.

1603
01:37:59,004 --> 01:38:03,100
No kidding? You didn't tell me that.
She's quitting you after all these years?

1604
01:38:03,275 --> 01:38:05,004
- She's really leaving?
- She is.

1605
01:38:05,210 --> 01:38:07,872
- You only got till 1 :00 to do something.
- No, dear.

1606
01:38:08,046 --> 01:38:11,538
I have 15 minutes... Fourteen minutes
in which to pull out of my hat...

1607
01:38:11,716 --> 01:38:13,980
...the most gigantic rabbit
you've ever seen.

1608
01:38:14,152 --> 01:38:16,712
- What do you mean, 14 minutes?
- In 14 minutes...

1609
01:38:16,888 --> 01:38:19,254
...baby's rosy body
is being tossed into the snow.

1610
01:38:19,424 --> 01:38:22,052
My host has sworn out a warrant.
I am being kicked out.

1611
01:38:22,227 --> 01:38:24,218
What? I never heard of such a thing.

1612
01:38:24,396 --> 01:38:27,229
- What would he do a thing like that for?
- Well, never mind.

1613
01:38:27,399 --> 01:38:29,924
I've only got 14 minutes
to get Lorraine out of here.

1614
01:38:30,101 --> 01:38:32,695
Banjo, dear, the master
is growing a little desperate.

1615
01:38:32,871 --> 01:38:36,932
Say, if I knew where she was,
I could get a car and run her over.

1616
01:38:37,108 --> 01:38:38,803
- It wouldn't hurt her much.
- Banjo.

1617
01:38:39,010 --> 01:38:41,911
Please go talk to Maggie.
She's in there. I've got to think.

1618
01:38:42,080 --> 01:38:43,945
All right.

1619
01:38:48,286 --> 01:38:52,450
- Pardon me, miss, is this the YMCA?
- Oh, Banjo, you old darling.

1620
01:38:52,624 --> 01:38:56,788
Come on, I've heard the whole story.
Everything is gonna be all right.

1621
01:38:56,961 --> 01:38:58,622
- Banjo.
- Don't worry...

1622
01:38:58,797 --> 01:39:01,231
...your Uncle Banjo
will pull a few strings.

1623
01:39:01,399 --> 01:39:03,833
- Say, that wasn't a bad pun, was it?
- No.

1624
01:39:04,035 --> 01:39:05,935
You're gonna hear that
in my next picture.

1625
01:39:09,174 --> 01:39:11,438
- Is this your father?
- No, you idiot.

1626
01:39:11,609 --> 01:39:14,908
Hello, Mr. Whiteside.
I didn't get very far. Any suggestions?

1627
01:39:15,080 --> 01:39:17,275
I'm very sorry, Richard.
Very sorry indeed.

1628
01:39:17,449 --> 01:39:21,283
- I wish I were in a position...
- Well, you're not in a position.

1629
01:39:21,453 --> 01:39:23,182
Thank you very much, officer.

1630
01:39:23,355 --> 01:39:27,155
- Here's something for your trouble.
- Thank you, sir. Good day.

1631
01:39:27,325 --> 01:39:29,759
Will you go upstairs, Richard?

1632
01:39:35,700 --> 01:39:38,533
Ten minutes, Mr. Whiteside.

1633
01:39:38,703 --> 01:39:41,194
I brought you some orange juice.
Feeling better?

1634
01:39:41,373 --> 01:39:45,605
Oh, superb. Is there any cyanide
in this orange juice, John?

1635
01:39:46,644 --> 01:39:50,011
Open the door, John. It's probably
some mustard gas from an old friend.

1636
01:39:50,181 --> 01:39:53,776
Yes, sir. Say, that crazy fellow
made a great hit with Sarah.

1637
01:39:53,952 --> 01:39:55,715
He wants to give her a screen test.

1638
01:39:58,123 --> 01:40:01,422
- Morning, John. Is Mr. Whiteside up?
- Yes, Miss Sheldon. In there.

1639
01:40:01,593 --> 01:40:03,652
Merry Christmas, darling.
Merry Christmas.

1640
01:40:03,828 --> 01:40:06,160
I've come to have breakfast with you.
May I?

1641
01:40:06,331 --> 01:40:07,696
Of course, my sprite.

1642
01:40:07,866 --> 01:40:09,458
- John, a breakfast tray.
- Yes.

1643
01:40:09,634 --> 01:40:11,659
- Better make it one-minute eggs.
- Yes, sir.

1644
01:40:11,836 --> 01:40:15,670
Darling, I was simply swept off my feet
by the play. It's fantastically good.

1645
01:40:15,840 --> 01:40:18,707
It's the kind of part
that comes along once in 10 years.

1646
01:40:18,877 --> 01:40:21,402
Oh, I'm so grateful to you, darling.

1647
01:40:21,613 --> 01:40:24,605
Thank you, dear. What time
are you leaving, you and Jefferson?

1648
01:40:24,816 --> 01:40:26,909
Oh, I don't know. It's 4:00, I think.

1649
01:40:27,118 --> 01:40:31,350
You know, Sherry, apart from everything
else, Bert is a very attractive man.

1650
01:40:31,523 --> 01:40:35,186
It'll make it rather a pleasure
squaring accounts with little Miss Vitriol.

1651
01:40:35,360 --> 01:40:38,056
In fact, everything
has worked out beautifully.

1652
01:40:38,229 --> 01:40:42,256
Sherry, lamb, I wanna give you the most
beautiful Christmas present in your life.

1653
01:40:42,434 --> 01:40:47,428
Now, what do you want? Anything.
I'm so deliriously happy that...

1654
01:40:48,339 --> 01:40:50,398
- That sounds like Banjo. Is he here?
- He is.

1655
01:40:50,575 --> 01:40:52,736
The family circle
gathering for Christmas.

1656
01:40:53,111 --> 01:40:56,774
My, how time flies
when you're having fun.

1657
01:41:00,518 --> 01:41:05,455
What ho, and all that sort of thing.
If it isn't Lady Bottomley.

1658
01:41:05,657 --> 01:41:09,787
My dear, you look ripping.
Positively ripping.

1659
01:41:09,961 --> 01:41:14,261
Very funny. It's too bad your pictures
aren't as funny as you think you are.

1660
01:41:14,432 --> 01:41:20,098
You've got me there, Lorraine.
You still got ants in your glance.

1661
01:41:22,273 --> 01:41:24,468
- Anything in the wind?
- Not a glimmer.

1662
01:41:24,676 --> 01:41:26,473
- When does the boat sail?
- Ten minutes.

1663
01:41:26,678 --> 01:41:30,170
- What boat is this?
- The good ship behind the eight ball.

1664
01:41:33,218 --> 01:41:35,618
I have everything except
the New Year's broadcast.

1665
01:41:35,787 --> 01:41:38,847
- Is there a schedule on that?
- It's on that table someplace.

1666
01:41:39,023 --> 01:41:41,992
- Thank you.
- New Year's Eve?

1667
01:41:42,160 --> 01:41:44,492
Bert and I will hear it from Lake Placid.

1668
01:41:44,696 --> 01:41:48,132
You've been to my place up there,
haven't you, Sherry? Lovely, isn't it?

1669
01:41:48,299 --> 01:41:52,827
Away from everything.
Just snow and clear, cold nights.

1670
01:41:53,004 --> 01:41:56,735
Oh, that must be Bert now.
I told him to meet me here.

1671
01:41:57,976 --> 01:42:00,945
You know, I'm rather looking forward
to Lake Placid.

1672
01:42:01,112 --> 01:42:04,445
Bert's the kind of man
who'll do all winter sports beautifully.

1673
01:42:04,616 --> 01:42:06,311
Will he have time?

1674
01:42:07,318 --> 01:42:09,513
With all the rewriting and...

1675
01:42:10,321 --> 01:42:13,449
- For Mr. Whiteside.
- All right, come ahead. In here.

1676
01:42:13,625 --> 01:42:15,752
- Careful now.
- Yeah, this thing's valuable.

1677
01:42:15,927 --> 01:42:19,192
This old dame is 2000 years old.
She's in better shape than I am.

1678
01:42:19,364 --> 01:42:21,764
For you, Mr. Whiteside.

1679
01:42:22,867 --> 01:42:24,664
Careful now.

1680
01:42:26,504 --> 01:42:27,835
Great Aunt Mehitable.

1681
01:42:28,006 --> 01:42:31,533
If there was one thing I needed at this
moment, it was a mummy.

1682
01:42:31,743 --> 01:42:34,803
"Merry Christmas
from the khedive of Egypt."

1683
01:42:34,979 --> 01:42:37,209
What did you send him,
Grant's Tomb?

1684
01:42:37,849 --> 01:42:41,546
Five minutes, Mr. Whiteside.
Including that.

1685
01:42:43,087 --> 01:42:44,315
Who's that man?

1686
01:42:44,489 --> 01:42:48,687
He announces the time every
few minutes. I pay him a small sum.

1687
01:42:48,860 --> 01:42:52,853
- Well, what on earth for, Sherry?
- I lost my watch.

1688
01:42:56,200 --> 01:42:58,828
Mr. Whiteside, are you busy?

1689
01:42:59,003 --> 01:43:02,803
Well, I'll wait in the library.
Excuse me.

1690
01:43:06,110 --> 01:43:08,271
Is that the plumber again, Sherry?

1691
01:43:08,446 --> 01:43:12,314
Oh, dear, I wonder where Bert is.
Darling, you're not very Christmassy.

1692
01:43:12,483 --> 01:43:15,213
You're usually bubbling over
on Christmas morning.

1693
01:43:16,654 --> 01:43:19,384
Who sent you this, Sherry?
The khedive of Egypt?

1694
01:43:19,557 --> 01:43:22,185
You know, I think it's rather beautiful.

1695
01:43:22,360 --> 01:43:26,694
I must go to Egypt sometime.
I really must. I know I'd love it.

1696
01:43:26,864 --> 01:43:30,391
You know, the first time I went
to Pompeii, I cried all night.

1697
01:43:30,568 --> 01:43:34,334
All those people. All those lives.

1698
01:43:34,505 --> 01:43:36,530
Where are they now?

1699
01:43:38,743 --> 01:43:40,677
Here was a woman like myself.

1700
01:43:40,845 --> 01:43:43,211
A woman who'd once lived
and loved.

1701
01:43:43,381 --> 01:43:47,613
Full of the same passions,
fears, jealousies, hates.

1702
01:43:47,819 --> 01:43:51,346
What remains of it now? Just this.

1703
01:43:51,522 --> 01:43:53,387
Nothing more.

1704
01:44:04,602 --> 01:44:06,729
A span of 4000 years...

1705
01:44:06,904 --> 01:44:09,202
...a mere atom in the eternity of time.

1706
01:44:09,374 --> 01:44:12,639
And here am I,
another woman living out her life.

1707
01:44:12,844 --> 01:44:14,334
I want to cry.

1708
01:44:18,416 --> 01:44:21,442
I mustn't talk like this today.
It's Christmas. It's Christmas.

1709
01:44:21,619 --> 01:44:23,985
Lorraine, dear, have you ever
played St. Joan?

1710
01:44:24,155 --> 01:44:25,486
No, I haven't, Sherry. Why?

1711
01:44:25,657 --> 01:44:27,784
Something about your expression
in that case.

1712
01:44:27,959 --> 01:44:30,587
- There was an absolute halo about you.
- How sweet.

1713
01:44:30,762 --> 01:44:32,889
It transcended any mortal expression
I've seen.

1714
01:44:33,064 --> 01:44:35,658
- Step in it again, dear.
- Now, Sherry, you're joshing me.

1715
01:44:35,867 --> 01:44:38,802
Oh, I don't make light of these things,
I was deeply moved.

1716
01:44:38,970 --> 01:44:41,939
There was a strange beauty about you,
Lorraine, pure da Vinci.

1717
01:44:42,106 --> 01:44:46,065
- Please do it again, dear.
- Well, I don't know exactly what I did...

1718
01:44:46,244 --> 01:44:48,678
...but I'll try.

1719
01:44:58,256 --> 01:45:01,521
- Oh, no, Sherry. I feel too silly.
- Oh, no! No!

1720
01:45:01,693 --> 01:45:05,026
In that single instant, you approached
the epitome of your art.

1721
01:45:05,196 --> 01:45:08,461
You should not be ashamed. You asked
what I wanted for a present.

1722
01:45:08,633 --> 01:45:14,230
All that I want, Lorraine, is the memory
of you in that mummy case.

1723
01:45:14,772 --> 01:45:18,173
Why, Sherry, I'm... I'm all choked up.

1724
01:45:32,924 --> 01:45:35,415
Dust, thou art, and dust to dust...

1725
01:45:35,593 --> 01:45:37,151
Banjo!

1726
01:45:37,328 --> 01:45:39,558
Eureka!

1727
01:45:40,465 --> 01:45:42,865
- There's service.
- Will she be all right in there?

1728
01:45:43,101 --> 01:45:44,591
Sure, she can breathe easy.

1729
01:45:44,769 --> 01:45:46,964
I'll let her out as soon
as we get on a plane.

1730
01:45:47,138 --> 01:45:50,335
Cute kid. Say, how do we get this
out of here?

1731
01:45:50,508 --> 01:45:52,806
Now, one thing at a time.
That's the next step.

1732
01:45:52,977 --> 01:45:57,710
- Think fast, Mr. Moto. Think fast.
- Look out. Get out...

1733
01:46:01,385 --> 01:46:04,320
This is everything.
I'm leaving three carbons.

1734
01:46:04,489 --> 01:46:07,322
Christmas card from
the head guy of Egypt.

1735
01:46:07,492 --> 01:46:10,017
Anything I can do for you here?
What's in this basket?

1736
01:46:10,194 --> 01:46:13,891
Nothing, thank you. Thank... Eleanor
Roosevelt. Did you call her in Atlanta?

1737
01:46:14,065 --> 01:46:15,464
She'd left for Washington...

1738
01:46:15,633 --> 01:46:18,534
...but I left a message at
the White House to call you here.

1739
01:46:18,703 --> 01:46:21,297
- Do you want these letters?
- Throw everything away.

1740
01:46:21,472 --> 01:46:23,633
- Do you want this picture?
- No, no. Oh, yes.

1741
01:46:23,808 --> 01:46:25,469
I want the picture. Give me that.

1742
01:46:25,643 --> 01:46:28,168
I've done everything
but put your broadcasts in order.

1743
01:46:28,346 --> 01:46:30,906
Do that right away, Maggie.
It's very important.

1744
01:46:31,115 --> 01:46:33,743
I'll see you before I go, Banjo.

1745
01:46:37,388 --> 01:46:40,118
I got it. I knew I'd seen this face before,
I knew it.

1746
01:46:40,291 --> 01:46:42,851
- I know how to get this out of here.
- What face? How?

1747
01:46:43,027 --> 01:46:45,427
The time is up, Mr. Whiteside.
Fifteen minutes.

1748
01:46:45,630 --> 01:46:46,995
Glad to see you on your feet.

1749
01:46:47,165 --> 01:46:50,396
- It will save me having you thrown out.
- One favor before you leave.

1750
01:46:50,568 --> 01:46:53,162
I would like those officers
to help this gentleman...

1751
01:46:53,337 --> 01:46:56,864
...to the airport with this case.
Would you be good enough to do that?

1752
01:46:57,041 --> 01:47:01,205
- I will do nothing of the kind.
- Oh, I think you will, Mr. Stanley.

1753
01:47:01,379 --> 01:47:03,040
Or shall I inform my audience...

1754
01:47:03,214 --> 01:47:05,444
...on my next broadcast
of your little secret?

1755
01:47:05,650 --> 01:47:07,345
That your sister, Harriet Stanley...

1756
01:47:07,518 --> 01:47:10,851
...is the famous Harriet Sedley,
who murdered her mother and father...

1757
01:47:11,022 --> 01:47:13,388
...with an ax 25 years ago
in Massachusetts.

1758
01:47:13,558 --> 01:47:16,220
Oh, come, Mr. Stanley,
it's a very small favor.

1759
01:47:16,394 --> 01:47:20,057
Would you rather have the good folk of
Mesalia repeating at your doorstep...

1760
01:47:20,231 --> 01:47:22,131
...that once-popular little jingle:

1761
01:47:22,300 --> 01:47:26,760
<i>Harriet Sedley took an ax</i>
<i>And gave her mother 40 whacks</i>

1762
01:47:26,938 --> 01:47:32,069
<i>And when the job was nicely done</i>
<i>She gave her father 41</i>

1763
01:47:32,243 --> 01:47:34,711
Remember, Mr. Stanley,
I am giving up something.

1764
01:47:34,879 --> 01:47:40,545
- It would make a whale of a broadcast.
- Mr. Whiteside, you are a devil.

1765
01:47:41,252 --> 01:47:42,776
I often think so myself, fellow.

1766
01:47:42,954 --> 01:47:44,922
<i>She gave her mother 40 whacks</i>

1767
01:47:45,089 --> 01:47:47,216
How the Dodgers could have used her.

1768
01:47:47,391 --> 01:47:50,656
Mr. Stanley would have you
help this gentleman to the airport...

1769
01:47:50,828 --> 01:47:53,888
...with this mummy case. He's sending it
to a friend in Nova Scotia.

1770
01:47:54,065 --> 01:47:55,930
- Collect.
- Right, Mr. Stanley?

1771
01:47:56,100 --> 01:47:57,567
Yes. Yes.

1772
01:47:57,735 --> 01:48:00,761
Thank you, gentlemen.
And handle that very carefully, please.

1773
01:48:00,938 --> 01:48:02,496
Banjo, my lad, you're wonderful.

1774
01:48:02,707 --> 01:48:06,302
- I may write a book about you.
- Don't bother. I can't read.

1775
01:48:06,477 --> 01:48:09,810
Goodbye, Maggie.
Love conquers all.

1776
01:48:09,981 --> 01:48:12,779
Here's a Christmas present for you.

1777
01:48:13,117 --> 01:48:15,779
Take it easy. Don't drop
that case, boys.

1778
01:48:15,953 --> 01:48:20,583
It contains a jewel,
slightly tarnished.

1779
01:48:20,758 --> 01:48:23,454
Whiteside, I'll load it up
with smoked salmon...

1780
01:48:23,628 --> 01:48:25,493
...and ship it back to you.

1781
01:48:32,570 --> 01:48:34,162
Sherry.

1782
01:48:34,338 --> 01:48:35,896
- Sherry, was that?
- It was indeed.

1783
01:48:36,073 --> 01:48:38,837
The field is clear,
and you have my blessing.

1784
01:48:39,010 --> 01:48:42,343
- Oh, you old reprobate.
- Just send me a necktie sometime.

1785
01:48:42,513 --> 01:48:44,674
My hat and coat.
I'm leaving for New York.

1786
01:48:44,849 --> 01:48:48,046
- Well, what?
- Don't argue, rat girl. Do as you are told.

1787
01:48:48,286 --> 01:48:50,846
Yes, Mr. Whiteside.

1788
01:48:51,422 --> 01:48:53,652
Sarah. John.

1789
01:48:58,829 --> 01:49:00,797
Maggie. Maggie, I want to apologize.

1790
01:49:00,965 --> 01:49:03,900
Don't give it a thought, Bert.
There's been a change in plans.

1791
01:49:04,068 --> 01:49:06,195
La Sheldon has departed
for parts unknown...

1792
01:49:06,370 --> 01:49:09,965
...and I'm going to see
that Sherry gives your play to Cornell.

1793
01:49:10,641 --> 01:49:11,869
Maggie.

1794
01:49:12,143 --> 01:49:14,611
How would you like to come
to New York and work for me?

1795
01:49:14,779 --> 01:49:16,144
This is an outrage!

1796
01:49:16,314 --> 01:49:19,147
- We'd love it.
- Thank you, Maggie, me darling.

1797
01:49:19,317 --> 01:49:21,547
Mr. Whiteside. My cook and my butler.

1798
01:49:21,719 --> 01:49:25,155
- They've been with me for 10 years.
- I am commuting their sentence.

1799
01:49:25,323 --> 01:49:27,655
If you and your husband
come to New York...

1800
01:49:27,825 --> 01:49:30,191
...come to my place for dinner
if I'm not in town.

1801
01:49:30,361 --> 01:49:33,853
- Mr. Whiteside, are you very busy?
- Oh, yes, doctor. Very busy.

1802
01:49:34,031 --> 01:49:37,592
But if you ever come to New York,
doctor, try and find me.

1803
01:49:37,802 --> 01:49:39,064
- Yes.
- Goodbye, my lamb.

1804
01:49:39,236 --> 01:49:41,704
- I love you very much.
- Sherry, you're wonderful.

1805
01:49:41,872 --> 01:49:45,103
Nonsense. Jefferson, you'll
never know the trouble you've caused.

1806
01:49:45,309 --> 01:49:47,504
- Goodbye, Mr. Whiteside.
- Goodbye, Mr. Stanley.

1807
01:49:47,678 --> 01:49:51,114
I would like to hear that your daughter
had married her young man...

1808
01:49:51,282 --> 01:49:56,743
...and that your son had been permitted
to follow his own bent. Or else.

1809
01:49:56,921 --> 01:50:00,857
What about the penguins, octopus,
baby seal and the rest of the menagerie?

1810
01:50:01,025 --> 01:50:03,425
They're all yours, Mr. Stanley.

1811
01:50:06,764 --> 01:50:09,961
- Merry Christmas, everybody.
- Merry Christmas, Mr. Whiteside.

1812
01:50:10,134 --> 01:50:11,601
What is this? Where's he going?

1813
01:50:11,769 --> 01:50:15,432
- I didn't know he could walk.
- It's all right. You're too young to know.

1814
01:50:18,576 --> 01:50:20,407
Hello?

1815
01:50:21,078 --> 01:50:24,172
Mrs. Roosevelt? Eleanor Roosevelt?

1816
01:50:24,348 --> 01:50:28,250
Just a moment, please.
Mr. Whiteside?

1817
01:50:28,419 --> 01:50:30,444
Oh, Mrs. Roosevelt,
I want you to know...

1818
01:50:30,621 --> 01:50:34,148
...my husband didn't vote
for your husband, but I did.

1819
01:50:34,358 --> 01:50:36,292
Oh, you're welcome, I'm sure.

1820
01:50:36,460 --> 01:50:40,556
And I'd love to vote
for your husband again sometime.

1821
01:50:40,731 --> 01:50:42,392
Mrs. Roosevelt.

1822
01:50:55,579 --> 01:50:58,742
Mr. Whiteside.
Mrs. Roosevelt�s on the phone.

1823
01:50:58,916 --> 01:51:01,214
What, Eleanor?

1824
01:51:04,055 --> 01:51:05,488
I've done it again. Oh, my!

1825
01:51:05,656 --> 01:51:09,251
Sherry! Bert. John. Sherry's fallen.

1826
01:51:09,427 --> 01:51:10,758
- What is it?
- What happened?

1827
01:51:10,928 --> 01:51:13,692
Perhaps he fell again.

1828
01:51:17,535 --> 01:51:20,971
I'll have a... Miss Preen.
Miss Preen. I want Miss Preen.

1829
01:51:21,138 --> 01:51:23,003
Help me up.

1830
01:51:23,908 --> 01:51:25,239
Maggie.

1831
01:51:25,409 --> 01:51:27,809
- What's the matter?
- Is anything wrong down here?

1832
01:51:27,978 --> 01:51:29,946
- Mr. Whiteside.
- I want Miss Preen back.

1833
01:51:30,114 --> 01:51:34,016
- What happened?
- Mr. Stanley, I'm suing you for $350,000.

1834
01:51:34,185 --> 01:51:35,652
- Where is the doctor?
- Here I am.

1835
01:51:35,820 --> 01:51:38,846
- Bring in the wheelchair.
- Oh, doctor!

1836
01:51:41,959 --> 01:51:44,826
You'll have to get me out of this house!

1837
01:51:48,933 --> 01:51:53,893
<i>Hello? Hello? Oh, dear, something</i>
<i>must have happened to Sherry.</i>

1838
01:51:54,071 --> 01:51:55,971
<i>Operator? Operator?</i>