1 00:00:01,272 --> 00:00:02,840 Mount Quiquaran. 2 00:00:02,841 --> 00:00:05,843 One of history's most lethal supervolcanos. 3 00:00:05,844 --> 00:00:08,545 In 200 BC, a series of deadly eruptions 4 00:00:08,546 --> 00:00:10,547 had decimated the local tribe. 5 00:00:10,548 --> 00:00:14,251 So the elders turned to the great artisan Tiliktakorkatan, 6 00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:17,154 who sculpted an offering to the gods... 7 00:00:17,155 --> 00:00:19,790 the Molten Idol. 8 00:00:19,791 --> 00:00:21,091 - It's beautiful. - And yet... 9 00:00:21,092 --> 00:00:23,327 not so beautiful as you, love of my life, 10 00:00:23,328 --> 00:00:25,195 keeper and tender-to of my loins. 11 00:00:25,196 --> 00:00:26,663 I thought it'd be more impressive. 12 00:00:26,664 --> 00:00:29,500 Because you have no appreciation for true beauty, Zane! 13 00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:31,602 You know, legend has it that removing the idol 14 00:00:31,603 --> 00:00:33,303 will cause Quiquaran to erupt. 15 00:00:33,304 --> 00:00:36,306 'Tis true. But as we all know, legends... 16 00:00:36,307 --> 00:00:39,176 are rarely... real. 17 00:00:39,177 --> 00:00:40,944 Oh, fuck, I don't want to die! 18 00:00:40,945 --> 00:00:42,413 Get the fuck out of the way! 19 00:00:42,414 --> 00:00:43,514 I guess that legend was real. 20 00:00:43,515 --> 00:00:45,048 Shut the fuck up, Zane. 21 00:00:45,049 --> 00:00:46,550 Swooper, get us out of here! 22 00:00:46,551 --> 00:00:47,918 No can do, boss. 23 00:00:47,919 --> 00:00:49,820 That volcano's hotter than Andy Capp's wife 24 00:00:49,821 --> 00:00:51,555 when he's been out at the pub all night. 25 00:00:51,556 --> 00:00:53,323 Meet me on the other side of the jungle. 26 00:00:53,324 --> 00:00:55,325 But that jungle's filled with... 27 00:00:55,326 --> 00:00:56,760 Corpus floraria. 28 00:00:56,761 --> 00:00:58,095 - The death flower. - The death flower. 29 00:00:58,096 --> 00:01:00,198 Jesus, Zane, don't interrupt me. 30 00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:04,401 That bird got bonked. Uh-oh. 31 00:01:04,402 --> 00:01:06,303 Looks like the natives are restless. 32 00:01:06,304 --> 00:01:07,571 Hello, I'm an attorney 33 00:01:07,572 --> 00:01:09,206 representing the Mondonesian tribe. 34 00:01:09,207 --> 00:01:11,308 We respectfully ask that you don't steal the Molten Idol 35 00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:12,776 as it's a culturally sig... 36 00:01:12,777 --> 00:01:14,111 We're off the hook! 37 00:01:14,112 --> 00:01:15,512 And we'll never have to think about the questions 38 00:01:15,513 --> 00:01:16,613 they were raising or ponder the ethics 39 00:01:16,614 --> 00:01:17,614 of what we're doing ever again. 40 00:01:17,615 --> 00:01:19,216 Power slide! 41 00:01:19,217 --> 00:01:21,852 Everybody lay a patch or we'll be riding the pale horse. 42 00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:23,320 Nobody understands your old-timey lingo. 43 00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:24,556 That's horsefeathers! 44 00:01:26,758 --> 00:01:28,292 Bella! Whip! 45 00:01:28,293 --> 00:01:29,593 Don't panic, the death flower's poison 46 00:01:29,594 --> 00:01:31,295 takes 30 minutes to set in. 47 00:01:31,296 --> 00:01:33,263 There's a hospital with the antidote ten minutes from here. 48 00:01:33,264 --> 00:01:35,966 Thank God. I wouldn't be able to live without you. 49 00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:37,201 I can't die yet, babe. 50 00:01:37,202 --> 00:01:38,435 I still haven't seen The Artis. 51 00:01:38,436 --> 00:01:40,170 Oh, man, it looks so good. 52 00:01:40,171 --> 00:01:43,340 I can't imagine a better movie will come out in 2011. 53 00:01:43,341 --> 00:01:45,175 The current year? Yeah. I agree. 54 00:01:45,176 --> 00:01:46,276 All right. 55 00:01:46,277 --> 00:01:48,111 - Enough 2011 talk. - Zane. 56 00:01:48,112 --> 00:01:49,179 What the hell are you doing? 57 00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:50,781 Oh, I'm taking the idol. 58 00:01:50,782 --> 00:01:53,383 It'll be my first acquisition as the new head arky of The Met. 59 00:01:53,384 --> 00:01:55,252 But we work for the Smithsonian. 60 00:01:55,253 --> 00:01:56,587 Not anymore, Rippy. 61 00:01:56,588 --> 00:01:58,489 I'm sick of you treating me like shit. 62 00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:00,891 What? You're the best inferior I've ever had. 63 00:02:00,892 --> 00:02:02,159 I always tell you that! 64 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,027 Consider this my resignation. 65 00:02:04,028 --> 00:02:05,362 Fuck that, you're fired. 66 00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:07,364 Fine. Have fun paying my unemployment. 67 00:02:07,365 --> 00:02:09,701 No, no, no, you quit, everyone heard it. 68 00:02:10,935 --> 00:02:12,736 Follow that speedboat. 69 00:02:12,737 --> 00:02:14,204 You sure? You don't look so good. 70 00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:15,272 The important thing is the idol. 71 00:02:15,273 --> 00:02:16,207 We have enough time to grab it 72 00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:17,442 and get to the hospital. 73 00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:21,378 Whip! Swooper, I'm out of whip range. 74 00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:23,347 We got to get closer. Whip! Whip! 75 00:02:23,348 --> 00:02:26,149 Almost got him. 76 00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:37,094 Oh, I can't see anything. 77 00:02:37,095 --> 00:02:38,262 Did you get the idol? 78 00:02:38,263 --> 00:02:40,063 Yeah, I got it, babe. 79 00:02:41,232 --> 00:02:42,332 I'm dying, Rip. 80 00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,901 Goodbye, my love. 81 00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,036 Tender-to of my loins. 82 00:02:46,037 --> 00:02:48,138 No, I will not let you die. 83 00:02:48,139 --> 00:02:51,341 I will not let you die! 84 00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:52,643 It's been 12 years since Rip Digman 85 00:02:52,644 --> 00:02:54,278 let his wife Bella die, 86 00:02:54,279 --> 00:02:56,280 and in that time Rip's former assistant Zane Troy 87 00:02:56,281 --> 00:02:59,082 has gone on to become the greatest arky in the world 88 00:02:59,083 --> 00:03:01,285 while Rip, who was fired by the Smithsonian, 89 00:03:01,286 --> 00:03:02,786 is now a has-been, a nobody, 90 00:03:02,787 --> 00:03:04,788 a real "Where are they now?" situation. 91 00:03:04,789 --> 00:03:07,124 I'm sorry to keep going on, my producer's telling me 92 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:09,059 we're running short and I need to stretch. 93 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:11,161 You have to wonder what Rip is even up to these days. 94 00:03:11,162 --> 00:03:14,831 I mean, my guess, he's just sitting at home, jacking off. 95 00:03:14,832 --> 00:03:16,099 Yes, jacking off. 96 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,668 And then crying because he feels 97 00:03:17,669 --> 00:03:19,436 like he's somehow cheating on his dead wife, 98 00:03:19,437 --> 00:03:21,305 whose death he was responsible for. 99 00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:22,806 And then jizzing. 100 00:03:22,807 --> 00:03:24,508 You know, one of those lame halfway ones 101 00:03:24,509 --> 00:03:26,009 where you're somehow out of rhythm with yourself. 102 00:03:26,010 --> 00:03:27,477 I don't know, maybe I'm projecting now. 103 00:03:27,478 --> 00:03:29,314 Either way, the guy's a loser. 104 00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:36,687 Morning, Agatha. 105 00:03:36,688 --> 00:03:38,655 Any museums call for an arky? 106 00:03:38,656 --> 00:03:41,325 No museum has called in ten years, Rip. 107 00:03:41,326 --> 00:03:44,027 Well, excuse me for being hopeful! 108 00:03:44,028 --> 00:03:45,495 There's no need to yell. 109 00:03:45,496 --> 00:03:47,631 You're right. My many apologies. 110 00:03:47,632 --> 00:03:49,032 You're just lonely. 111 00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:50,667 You should start dating again. 112 00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:53,337 Thanks, Agatha, but the only dating I'm interested in... 113 00:03:53,338 --> 00:03:55,506 is carbon dating. 114 00:04:00,345 --> 00:04:02,479 I cleaned your jeep, Rip. 115 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,147 Man, there sure were a lot of tear stains 116 00:04:04,148 --> 00:04:06,183 on the steering wheel. 117 00:04:06,184 --> 00:04:08,652 You must've been crying a lot. 118 00:04:08,653 --> 00:04:10,721 Yeah, thanks, Swooper. 119 00:04:10,722 --> 00:04:13,156 If anybody needs me, I'll be in my secret chamber. 120 00:04:13,157 --> 00:04:15,092 You mean you're going into your private bathroom 121 00:04:15,093 --> 00:04:16,827 for your morning dump. 122 00:04:16,828 --> 00:04:17,662 No. 123 00:04:17,663 --> 00:04:19,563 The Holy Grail. 124 00:04:19,564 --> 00:04:22,266 The term people use to describe the coolest thing 125 00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:23,533 in every other profession 126 00:04:23,534 --> 00:04:24,835 is that thing in archaeology. 127 00:04:24,836 --> 00:04:26,870 - Ooh, ooh. - Yes, Saltine? 128 00:04:26,871 --> 00:04:28,772 Have you ever tried to find the Holy Grail? 129 00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:31,808 Well, every shovel bum worth their salt has given it a shot. 130 00:04:31,809 --> 00:04:34,277 But its location is archaeology's greatest mystery. 131 00:04:34,278 --> 00:04:37,648 They say that just one sip from it can heal any ailment. 132 00:04:37,649 --> 00:04:39,583 So, if someone in the class found it, 133 00:04:39,584 --> 00:04:40,817 would we get extra credit? 134 00:04:40,818 --> 00:04:43,420 - Yeah, sure. - Great. 135 00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:45,222 No need to invite me to any parties 136 00:04:45,223 --> 00:04:46,990 this weekend, classmates. 137 00:04:46,991 --> 00:04:48,392 I've got plans. 138 00:04:48,393 --> 00:04:49,626 Eat a pile of shit, nerd. 139 00:04:49,627 --> 00:04:51,595 I'd rather sift through said shit 140 00:04:51,596 --> 00:04:53,096 to discover secrets of the past. 141 00:04:53,097 --> 00:04:55,265 Wow, you're awfully cheery, aren't you? 142 00:04:55,266 --> 00:04:56,366 Why wouldn't I be? 143 00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:57,734 I'm studying to be an arky, 144 00:04:57,735 --> 00:04:59,269 the greatest job in the world. 145 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:00,270 Don't you ever miss it? 146 00:05:00,271 --> 00:05:01,405 Of course I miss it. 147 00:05:01,406 --> 00:05:02,739 The glory. The fame. 148 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:04,341 I yearn for it still. 149 00:05:04,342 --> 00:05:05,876 Much like the wolf whelp yearns 150 00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:08,245 for its mother's tough yet glossy teat. 151 00:05:08,246 --> 00:05:09,746 But now I've been reduced 152 00:05:09,747 --> 00:05:11,481 to the most degrading job there is. 153 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:12,983 Teaching. 154 00:05:12,984 --> 00:05:14,685 Then maybe you shouldn't have killed your wife. 155 00:05:14,686 --> 00:05:16,854 I didn't kill my wife! A bird did! 156 00:05:20,091 --> 00:05:22,859 Another RumChata. Neat. 157 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:26,329 Professor, over here. It's me, the student you hate. 158 00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:28,065 Oh, man. What are you doing here? 159 00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:30,333 Okay, I was thinking about how sad you were in class, 160 00:05:30,334 --> 00:05:31,768 so I started digging around, 161 00:05:31,769 --> 00:05:33,470 and I know how you can become an arky again. 162 00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:34,504 Quail Eegan. 163 00:05:34,505 --> 00:05:35,872 The long-haired billionaire? 164 00:05:35,873 --> 00:05:37,607 The very same. He's building a new museum 165 00:05:37,608 --> 00:05:39,076 and he needs a head arky, 166 00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,944 so he's holding a big competition to find one. 167 00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:42,512 The whole thing kicks off tonight. 168 00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:43,780 You. Should. Go. 169 00:05:43,781 --> 00:05:46,149 Huh, an intriguing proposition. 170 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:49,019 Right? And you can bring me as your assistant arky. 171 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:50,320 Ha! No dice. 172 00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:52,355 Rip Digman rolls solo. 173 00:05:52,356 --> 00:05:54,257 But the arky union says you have to have an assistant. 174 00:05:54,258 --> 00:05:57,761 Ugh. Stupid union coming up with stupid rules so I don't die. 175 00:05:57,762 --> 00:05:59,196 But I'm still not going to hire you. 176 00:05:59,197 --> 00:06:00,330 We don't even know each other. 177 00:06:00,331 --> 00:06:01,765 I mean, I don't even know... 178 00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:04,901 ♪ If you like jazz ♪ 179 00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:07,003 I really don't. But I've wanted to be 180 00:06:07,004 --> 00:06:08,305 - an arky all my life. - Okay. 181 00:06:08,306 --> 00:06:09,639 - I'm an amateur inventor. - Okay. 182 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,041 - I love Latin. - Go on. 183 00:06:11,042 --> 00:06:12,843 Or should I say "Amo linguam Latinam"? 184 00:06:12,844 --> 00:06:13,910 Oh, yeah, I don't get it. 185 00:06:13,911 --> 00:06:15,412 Oh, and my parents disowned me 186 00:06:15,413 --> 00:06:16,546 because they hate archaeology. 187 00:06:16,547 --> 00:06:19,282 ♪ A de facto orphan. ♪ 188 00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:20,851 You spin a good yarn, kid, 189 00:06:20,852 --> 00:06:23,420 but I'm still not sure we connect on a cosmic level, 190 00:06:23,421 --> 00:06:24,654 at the base of the neural queue. 191 00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:25,856 Avatar ref. 192 00:06:25,857 --> 00:06:27,424 The event starts in 15 minutes 193 00:06:27,425 --> 00:06:28,625 and you have to have an assistant. 194 00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:29,861 You're hired. 195 00:06:30,695 --> 00:06:33,130 Whoa. Every arky in the world is here. 196 00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:36,933 Felix Cadbury, Kate Kwan, Indiana Jones. 197 00:06:36,934 --> 00:06:37,835 And Zane Troy. 198 00:06:37,836 --> 00:06:39,202 - Wow. - Ugh. 199 00:06:39,203 --> 00:06:41,104 - Come on. - Sorry. I know he betrayed you, 200 00:06:41,105 --> 00:06:43,173 but he's like the most famous person on Earth. 201 00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:44,775 Oh, fuck, don't look. Don't look. 202 00:06:44,776 --> 00:06:47,244 Rip Digman. I guess the rumors were true. 203 00:06:47,245 --> 00:06:48,345 You have gotten fatter. 204 00:06:48,346 --> 00:06:49,679 What are you doing here, Zane? 205 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,114 The Met not paying you enough? 206 00:06:51,115 --> 00:06:52,382 I'm a businessman, Rip. 207 00:06:52,383 --> 00:06:53,750 I have to keep my options open. 208 00:06:53,751 --> 00:06:55,685 Besides, loyalty's overrated. 209 00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:57,220 Well, yeah, I agree with that. 210 00:06:57,221 --> 00:06:58,722 Wait, that was a reference to how you betrayed me. 211 00:06:58,723 --> 00:07:00,590 -Saltine, punch this guy in the nuts. -What? 212 00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:01,925 Forget it. You blinked. It's over. 213 00:07:01,926 --> 00:07:03,493 - Sorry. - You know, Rippy, 214 00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:05,262 we always did do great work together. 215 00:07:05,263 --> 00:07:06,763 If you'd be interested in becoming partners 216 00:07:06,764 --> 00:07:08,498 with a 50-50 split, give me a call. 217 00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:09,566 Wait, really? 218 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,568 Oh, son of a bitch! 219 00:07:11,569 --> 00:07:12,936 I'll just put it in this pocket, though. 220 00:07:12,937 --> 00:07:15,172 No, don't keep it, Rip. It's an insult. 221 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,373 You must be new. 222 00:07:16,374 --> 00:07:17,774 Rip can't throw anything away. 223 00:07:17,775 --> 00:07:19,943 He's less of an arky and more of a hoarder. 224 00:07:19,944 --> 00:07:22,546 That's never been diagnosed! 225 00:07:22,547 --> 00:07:25,515 Ladies and gentleme, please welcome 226 00:07:25,516 --> 00:07:29,486 Quail Eegan! 227 00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,654 Showmanship. 228 00:07:30,655 --> 00:07:32,489 Now, as you all know, 229 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:33,757 I'm the best at everything. 230 00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:35,158 I've created the best electric car, 231 00:07:35,159 --> 00:07:38,528 the best rockets, and the best hologram of myself. 232 00:07:40,097 --> 00:07:42,966 But now I have my sights set even higher. 233 00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:44,467 The Eegan. 234 00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:47,304 Upon completion, it will be the largest museum in the world. 235 00:07:47,305 --> 00:07:48,972 The only thing missing is... 236 00:07:48,973 --> 00:07:50,240 A Froyo machine. 237 00:07:50,241 --> 00:07:51,474 A collection. 238 00:07:51,475 --> 00:07:52,410 And that's where all you come in. 239 00:07:52,411 --> 00:07:53,643 I'm holding a contest. 240 00:07:53,644 --> 00:07:56,279 Can anyone tell me what this is? 241 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,150 Ha! Too easy. That's Hammurabi's hat. 242 00:08:00,151 --> 00:08:01,384 Rip Digman. 243 00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:02,819 What a blast from the past. 244 00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:04,921 Oh, the pleasure is mine. 245 00:08:04,922 --> 00:08:07,524 Nothing personal. I swear. This one is the real me. 246 00:08:10,962 --> 00:08:12,329 You won't be rid of me that easily. 247 00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:14,030 But you're right, Rip. 248 00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:15,899 4,000 years ago, Hammurabi conquered Mesopotamia. 249 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,368 All while wearing this hat. 250 00:08:18,369 --> 00:08:19,769 But it has never been found. 251 00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:22,205 And I want it as the centerpiece for my new museum. 252 00:08:22,206 --> 00:08:24,674 Whoever brings it to me will be named head arky. 253 00:08:24,675 --> 00:08:26,710 A position that comes with a generous salary 254 00:08:26,711 --> 00:08:28,078 and hella bennies. 255 00:08:28,079 --> 00:08:30,280 Now, let the competition begin! 256 00:08:30,281 --> 00:08:31,581 And begin it shall. 257 00:08:31,582 --> 00:08:33,049 Put 'er there. 258 00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,651 I am in Iceland. 259 00:08:34,652 --> 00:08:36,086 And you're clear. 260 00:08:36,087 --> 00:08:38,021 Wow. They couldn't tell you were a hologram? 261 00:08:38,022 --> 00:08:40,757 Yes, and neither could you. 262 00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:41,993 Well, time for bed. 263 00:08:44,989 --> 00:08:46,423 Move to your left, Shelly. 264 00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:54,765 Aah! My ears are bleeding! 265 00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:56,233 Our top story tonight: 266 00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:57,634 Arkies across the globe 267 00:08:57,635 --> 00:09:00,871 are competing to head up Quail Eegan's new museum. 268 00:09:00,872 --> 00:09:02,939 Zane Troy is the odds-on favorite to win the job, 269 00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:05,375 while Rip Digman is the favorite to accidentally 270 00:09:05,376 --> 00:09:07,310 stumble off a cliff and die a horrific death. 271 00:09:07,311 --> 00:09:09,513 Here's a sneak peek at his "in memoriam" segment. 272 00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:15,786 Ugh, what the hell is that music? 273 00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,320 Don't let them play that when I die. 274 00:09:17,321 --> 00:09:18,655 This is so exciting. 275 00:09:18,656 --> 00:09:20,323 I can't believe I'm an assistant arky. 276 00:09:20,324 --> 00:09:22,793 Let's be clear. You're my temporary assistant. 277 00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:24,261 If I get back in the game, I'll have my pick 278 00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:25,462 of the top assistants in the biz. 279 00:09:25,463 --> 00:09:27,230 What is that thing? 280 00:09:27,231 --> 00:09:29,633 Saltine, meet Fleety, my fast loris. 281 00:09:29,634 --> 00:09:31,835 I've heard of a slow loris but never a fast one. 282 00:09:31,836 --> 00:09:33,370 What's the difference? 283 00:09:33,371 --> 00:09:34,971 A raging addiction to methamphetamines. 284 00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:36,940 So, Saltine, you ever heard of Wendell Banks? 285 00:09:36,941 --> 00:09:38,675 He's that arky who went missing a couple years ago. 286 00:09:38,676 --> 00:09:41,778 Precisely. Wendell was one of my many male mentors. 287 00:09:41,779 --> 00:09:44,514 And what nobody knows but yo soy is that he actually went missing 288 00:09:44,515 --> 00:09:46,416 while hunting for Hammurabi's hat. 289 00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:48,018 Wendell was a bit of a warrior poet, 290 00:09:48,019 --> 00:09:50,620 always leaving cryptic hints as to where he was going. 291 00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:52,889 In fact, this is the last voice mail he left me. 292 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:55,025 My dear Rip, I'm off to find Hammurabi's ht 293 00:09:55,026 --> 00:09:56,393 in a land where the sky is as blue as... 294 00:09:57,695 --> 00:09:59,362 I can't make out what he was saying. 295 00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:01,398 His hint was covered by the incessant squawking 296 00:10:01,399 --> 00:10:02,899 - of a meridian warbler. - You're right, Rip. 297 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,534 That squawking was a meridian warbler. 298 00:10:04,535 --> 00:10:06,570 But the balking was an Ecuadorian sea hawk. 299 00:10:06,571 --> 00:10:08,138 My God. You're also right. 300 00:10:08,139 --> 00:10:10,340 The other bird call was fucking tucked under there. 301 00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:11,708 And there's only one place in the world 302 00:10:11,709 --> 00:10:13,477 where their migratory patterns overlap. 303 00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:16,680 Looks like we're headed... to Indonesia. 304 00:10:18,082 --> 00:10:19,850 Yeah, he was here, but he didn't find any hat. 305 00:10:19,851 --> 00:10:21,818 He did steal some ornamental robes, though. 306 00:10:21,819 --> 00:10:23,286 Classic arky move. 307 00:10:23,287 --> 00:10:24,688 Never leave a place empty-handed. 308 00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:26,356 Did he say where he was going? 309 00:10:26,357 --> 00:10:28,658 Yeah, a place where "water falls from on high, 310 00:10:28,659 --> 00:10:30,627 like tears from the angel of sadness." 311 00:10:30,628 --> 00:10:33,130 Looks like we're heading... to Venezuela. 312 00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:35,866 He was here, but he didn't find a hat. 313 00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,068 Stole a bunch of secret ceramics, though. 314 00:10:38,069 --> 00:10:39,736 That's Wendell for you. So cool. 315 00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:41,371 Did he say where he was going? 316 00:10:41,372 --> 00:10:43,173 Something about "where haggling means hello 317 00:10:43,174 --> 00:10:45,375 and Mehmet's merchants mingle"? 318 00:10:45,376 --> 00:10:48,011 Looks like we're heading... to Istanbul. 319 00:10:49,013 --> 00:10:50,313 Yep, he was here 320 00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:51,982 and swiped our Byzantine sarcophagus. 321 00:10:51,983 --> 00:10:53,116 Ha! I love that. 322 00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,417 Rip, that's not good behavior. 323 00:10:54,418 --> 00:10:55,785 He said he was hungry, 324 00:10:55,786 --> 00:10:57,687 and I told him there's a Hardee's nearby. 325 00:10:57,688 --> 00:11:00,257 Looks like we're heading... to Hardee's. 326 00:11:01,659 --> 00:11:03,393 Asked for a water cup, then filled it with soda. 327 00:11:03,394 --> 00:11:04,461 Did he say where he was going? 328 00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:05,729 No, he didn't say the name. 329 00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,631 Damn. After all that, a dead end. 330 00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:09,699 But he did say the latitude was 22 degrees, 331 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,168 46 minutes, 54.8 seconds south. 332 00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:13,236 And the longitude was 81 degrees, 45 minutes, 333 00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:14,604 43.2 seconds east. Does that help? 334 00:11:14,605 --> 00:11:16,406 No, that doesn't. Oh, no, wait, it does! 335 00:11:18,476 --> 00:11:19,709 Rip, I'd like to show you 336 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:21,378 the first of what I like to call 337 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,313 Saltine's Cool Inventions. 338 00:11:23,314 --> 00:11:25,081 Wow. Great name. 339 00:11:25,082 --> 00:11:28,151 Voilà. It's a mirror that, when a cat looks into it, 340 00:11:28,152 --> 00:11:29,719 it reflects the image of a lion. 341 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,521 I based it on a poster I had in my bedroom growing up 342 00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:32,822 that had the caption, 343 00:11:32,823 --> 00:11:34,524 "What matters most is how you see yourself." 344 00:11:34,525 --> 00:11:35,992 So it reads your brainwaves 345 00:11:35,993 --> 00:11:37,761 and shows you a reflection of your inner self? 346 00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,563 Not at all. It can just tell when a cat 347 00:11:39,564 --> 00:11:41,965 is looking at it and then it reflects the image of a lion. 348 00:11:41,966 --> 00:11:44,000 Good night, Saltine. 349 00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:45,368 Ah! No! 350 00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:50,540 Have fun. I'll be here with the plane. 351 00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:53,476 These mountain walls must block all radio waves 352 00:11:53,477 --> 00:11:55,745 and satellite signals. We're in a true dead zone. 353 00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:57,881 So they've never heard Stern? 354 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,152 And now we see how Wendell Banks met his fate. 355 00:12:02,153 --> 00:12:03,320 Looks like a tiger got him. 356 00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:04,754 He must have been cornered. 357 00:12:04,755 --> 00:12:06,256 There's no way out of here. It's a dead end. 358 00:12:06,257 --> 00:12:07,557 There's always a way, 359 00:12:07,558 --> 00:12:09,726 even if you have to make it yourself. 360 00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:11,595 - And here it is. - Oh, God. 361 00:12:11,596 --> 00:12:12,696 It's filled with snakes. 362 00:12:12,697 --> 00:12:14,297 Let me guess. You hate snakes? 363 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:15,899 - Nope, I love them. - Oh. 364 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,834 Yep, I love them, and I always have, 365 00:12:17,835 --> 00:12:19,669 because I'm my own unique character. 366 00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,605 - Okay. - I'm not based on anyone else. 367 00:12:21,606 --> 00:12:23,506 - Didn't think you were. - And since I am legally 368 00:12:23,507 --> 00:12:25,075 my own person who is not afraid of snakes, 369 00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:29,045 I'll just reach into this alcove and move some of them aside. 370 00:12:29,046 --> 00:12:31,481 Yep. Pardon me, nice snakes. Hi there. 371 00:12:31,482 --> 00:12:33,284 And pull the lever. 372 00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,553 Now you're on the trolley. 373 00:12:41,892 --> 00:12:43,693 My God. 374 00:12:43,694 --> 00:12:45,795 An untouched civilization. 375 00:12:45,796 --> 00:12:47,230 These Neanderthals could be 376 00:12:47,231 --> 00:12:48,865 a whole tribe of missing links. 377 00:12:48,866 --> 00:12:49,866 And look. 378 00:12:49,867 --> 00:12:51,735 I spy with my little arky eye 379 00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:53,703 - Hammurabi's hat. - That's it. 380 00:12:53,704 --> 00:12:55,171 Let's wait for them to fall asleep, 381 00:12:55,172 --> 00:12:56,206 then we can sneak in... 382 00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:58,108 And there he goes. 383 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:03,046 They somehow noticed me. Run! 384 00:13:04,048 --> 00:13:05,649 Well, we're fucking dead. 385 00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:08,218 Rip, look. They're all staring at the hat. 386 00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:09,586 - Oh. - Put it on. 387 00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:11,655 That's interesting. 388 00:13:11,656 --> 00:13:14,057 Huh? Huh. 389 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,193 It almost seems like they won't attack 390 00:13:17,194 --> 00:13:18,828 when I'm wearing the hat. 391 00:13:18,829 --> 00:13:20,463 Yeah, when you're wearing it, they clearly worship you. 392 00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:22,465 - Now let's get out of here. - Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. 393 00:13:22,466 --> 00:13:24,634 They worship me? 394 00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:25,935 Yes. Now let's go. 395 00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:28,872 Actually, I want to hang here a while 396 00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:31,074 - and-and see how this plays out. - What? 397 00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:32,409 Rise, my people, 398 00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:35,178 and gaze upon your glorious leader. 399 00:13:36,614 --> 00:13:37,848 Oh, shit, man. 400 00:13:41,594 --> 00:13:44,163 Saltine, check it. This cat knows English. 401 00:13:44,164 --> 00:13:45,464 - Sup? - His name is Kurt. 402 00:13:45,465 --> 00:13:46,799 Rip, this is crazy. 403 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,267 Let's just take the hat back to Eegan. 404 00:13:48,268 --> 00:13:50,135 Wh-What's your hurry? We've got it made here. 405 00:13:50,136 --> 00:13:53,072 Around-the-clock adulation, free refills on coconut water. 406 00:13:53,073 --> 00:13:55,240 Plus, they're grinding up this emerald forest shit, 407 00:13:55,241 --> 00:13:57,476 and it packs quite a wallop. 408 00:13:57,477 --> 00:13:59,011 Wa-ha! 409 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,746 Okay, I get it. You're feeling good. 410 00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:02,081 But we'll leave soon, right? 411 00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:04,416 Sure. Or, hear me out, we never leave. 412 00:14:04,417 --> 00:14:06,752 Hear me out. We live here for the rest of our lives. 413 00:14:06,753 --> 00:14:08,620 Hear me out. We get more of this green stuff. 414 00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:10,255 Hear me out. We snort it all. 415 00:14:10,256 --> 00:14:12,491 Hear me out. And then we die! 416 00:14:12,492 --> 00:14:14,126 Goodbye, Rip. 417 00:14:14,127 --> 00:14:16,829 Okay, but you're gonna miss my new leader ceremony. 418 00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:20,366 Kurt says it'll be the biggest party in many moons. 419 00:14:22,769 --> 00:14:26,371 Hey, Saltine, where's Rip? 420 00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,173 - Oh, my God! He's dead?! - What? 421 00:14:28,174 --> 00:14:29,508 No, he's just not coming. 422 00:14:29,509 --> 00:14:30,709 I'm sorry. That was confusing. 423 00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:33,679 Oh, thank God. I thought we'd lost him. 424 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,781 You can't do stuff like that! 425 00:14:35,782 --> 00:14:37,616 So, this is where we perform 426 00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:39,118 - the new leader ceremony. - Great. 427 00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:40,486 And what are my duties? 428 00:14:40,487 --> 00:14:41,787 You have sex with everyone in the village. 429 00:14:41,788 --> 00:14:43,455 Say that again, 430 00:14:43,456 --> 00:14:44,890 Kurt the talking Neanderthal. 431 00:14:44,891 --> 00:14:46,425 Sorry, sometimes my diction is a little off. 432 00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:49,495 I said, you have sex with everyone in the village, 433 00:14:49,496 --> 00:14:51,630 - and if you don't, we kill you. - Huh. 434 00:14:51,631 --> 00:14:53,332 Let me just take a look here. 435 00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:55,968 Holy hell. 436 00:14:55,969 --> 00:14:58,370 Uh, not to give you the wind, Kurt, old pal, 437 00:14:58,371 --> 00:15:00,739 but this is giving me a real case of the zorros. 438 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,241 I mean, not to sound pigeon-livered, 439 00:15:02,242 --> 00:15:04,042 but the bank is closed, if you take my meaning. 440 00:15:04,043 --> 00:15:05,043 Sorry. 441 00:15:05,044 --> 00:15:06,278 I turn into a real church bell 442 00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:07,546 when I've got the zorros. 443 00:15:07,547 --> 00:15:08,580 I'm sure you're like, "Who is this 444 00:15:08,581 --> 00:15:09,615 canceled stamp?" Am I right? 445 00:15:11,718 --> 00:15:13,085 Okay, I think I know 446 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,753 how to convince Rip to come back with us. 447 00:15:14,754 --> 00:15:17,823 Saltine, stop. We can't make him leave. 448 00:15:17,824 --> 00:15:19,591 But what about the arky competition? 449 00:15:19,592 --> 00:15:22,261 The arky world treated Rip like dog shit. 450 00:15:22,262 --> 00:15:23,529 They stomped on him, 451 00:15:23,530 --> 00:15:25,397 then they chewed him up, and spit him out. 452 00:15:25,398 --> 00:15:27,199 Just like you do with dog shit. 453 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,201 So if he's found a place where he feels happy 454 00:15:29,202 --> 00:15:32,070 and respected, who are we to ask him to give that up? 455 00:15:32,071 --> 00:15:35,073 That's a good point. I just hope he's, to quote Pharrell... 456 00:15:35,074 --> 00:15:36,810 happy. 457 00:15:37,544 --> 00:15:39,545 Fleety? Where's Rip? 458 00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:41,814 Oh, my God, he's dead?! 459 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:42,981 Come on! 460 00:15:42,982 --> 00:15:44,917 You guys got to stop doing that! 461 00:15:44,918 --> 00:15:46,785 Rip, are you in here? Rip? 462 00:15:46,786 --> 00:15:49,621 Oh, yeah. Fill me up, stud. 463 00:15:49,622 --> 00:15:51,056 Crush me out, stallion. 464 00:15:51,057 --> 00:15:52,057 Oh, my God. 465 00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:53,192 - Saltine! - Aah! 466 00:15:53,193 --> 00:15:54,326 You got to get me the fuck out of here. 467 00:15:54,327 --> 00:15:55,828 Rip? But I thought you were... 468 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,229 Getting my backyard churned into a DQ Blizzard? 469 00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:58,730 Luckily, they're so dumb, I've been tricking them 470 00:15:58,731 --> 00:15:59,932 with a sex doll I made out of straw. 471 00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,402 So, uh, you're rescuing me or what? 472 00:16:03,403 --> 00:16:07,239 Heck, yeah, I am. It's time for Saltine's Cool Inventions. 473 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,740 Oh, damn it. Not the cat mirror. 474 00:16:08,741 --> 00:16:10,075 I made a few modifications. 475 00:16:10,076 --> 00:16:12,177 Now, it doesn't just reflect, it also 476 00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:13,645 projects holograms. 477 00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:14,947 Check it. 478 00:16:20,453 --> 00:16:22,054 - It's working. - I know. 479 00:16:22,055 --> 00:16:24,123 Ooh, that hit the back wall. 480 00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:31,296 Roar! Roar! 481 00:16:31,297 --> 00:16:32,464 This way! 482 00:16:32,465 --> 00:16:34,299 It works. Okay, I got to ask. 483 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,936 Where did Fleety find a kitten in the middle of the jungle? 484 00:16:37,737 --> 00:16:39,171 Oh, I see. It's a tiger cub. 485 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,875 And now its mama's pissed. Fleety, you suck. 486 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,176 Uh, that's not good. 487 00:16:45,311 --> 00:16:47,145 Uh... Okay. 488 00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:48,580 That's normal. 489 00:16:48,581 --> 00:16:50,349 Said no one ever. 490 00:16:51,484 --> 00:16:53,186 Let's move! 491 00:17:00,727 --> 00:17:02,027 Keep running! 492 00:17:03,229 --> 00:17:04,297 Ah! 493 00:17:12,338 --> 00:17:14,473 Huh. 494 00:17:14,474 --> 00:17:16,074 Well, that's odd. 495 00:17:16,075 --> 00:17:17,209 Yeah... 496 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,111 Got to say, though... 497 00:17:19,112 --> 00:17:20,379 I don't hate it. 498 00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:22,147 Swooper! Fire up the plane! 499 00:17:22,148 --> 00:17:25,018 Sorry, boss, I couldn't stop him. 500 00:17:25,818 --> 00:17:27,819 I'll be taking that hat, Rip. 501 00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:30,389 You'll have to suck my dick first. 502 00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:32,591 - No, I think I'll just take it. - Right, well, 503 00:17:32,592 --> 00:17:33,959 I guess I can see your point also. 504 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,062 Got to hand it to him, he's good. 505 00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:40,340 - How did you even find us, Zane? - The business card I gave you. 506 00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:42,176 The one that said "fuck you" on it and you kept it anyway 507 00:17:42,177 --> 00:17:44,344 because you're a hoarder, it was a homing device. 508 00:17:44,345 --> 00:17:45,813 Oh, the fucking card? 509 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,181 Unbelievable, man. 510 00:17:47,182 --> 00:17:48,816 I'll just put it in this pocket, though. 511 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,384 Oh, I knew Wendell Banks disappeared 512 00:17:50,385 --> 00:17:52,119 searching for that hat, so I figured I'd be like you 513 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,154 and follow the trail of my male mentor. 514 00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:57,024 Wow, Zane, you are a world-class bum nickel. 515 00:17:57,025 --> 00:17:58,625 Rippy, that really hurt my feelings. 516 00:17:58,626 --> 00:17:59,660 - It did? - No! 517 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,161 I was being sarcastic. 518 00:18:01,162 --> 00:18:03,530 Your dry British wit makes it impossible to tell. 519 00:18:03,531 --> 00:18:04,565 Now, the hat. 520 00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:06,233 Okay, fine. You win, Zane. 521 00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:09,303 No. Zane Troy, if you want to take that hat from Rip, 522 00:18:09,304 --> 00:18:10,971 you're going to have to go through 523 00:18:10,972 --> 00:18:13,106 his temporary assist... 524 00:18:13,107 --> 00:18:14,474 Saltine! 525 00:18:14,475 --> 00:18:16,076 Corpus floraria. Ring a bell, Rip? 526 00:18:16,077 --> 00:18:18,979 Anyhoo, antidote's on the beach two klicks thataway. 527 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:22,549 I'm headed thisaway. You get it. Ta-ta. 528 00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:23,884 Don't worry about me, Rip. 529 00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,619 - Get the hat back. - No, boss! 530 00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:26,854 We got to get her to the hospital. 531 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,255 The dart is my fault. 532 00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:29,523 Should've seen it coming. 533 00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:30,824 Saltine, no, hang on. 534 00:18:30,825 --> 00:18:32,159 Oh, God. It's happening again. 535 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,994 Would going after the hat be repeating 536 00:18:33,995 --> 00:18:35,929 the mistakes of my past? Am I being given an opportunity 537 00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:37,998 to make a better choice? Or to make the same choice 538 00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:39,867 as before but in hopes of a better outcome? 539 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,535 Either way, will I live to regret my decision, 540 00:18:41,536 --> 00:18:44,104 or will I revel in the glory of a choice well made? 541 00:18:44,105 --> 00:18:45,672 And is this an act of free will, 542 00:18:45,673 --> 00:18:47,307 or am I fate's unwitting pawn? 543 00:18:47,308 --> 00:18:49,209 If I seize the hat and return to glory at the cost 544 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,745 of Saltine's young life, will I be able to live with myself, 545 00:18:51,746 --> 00:18:54,081 or if I save her life but return to obscurity, 546 00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:55,949 will I forever be filled with resentment? 547 00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:58,151 I don't know what to fucking do, God. 548 00:18:58,152 --> 00:19:01,588 This! Is! Hard! 549 00:19:03,057 --> 00:19:06,760 And so I'd like to introduce my new head arky, 550 00:19:06,761 --> 00:19:10,330 the man who brought me Hammurabi's hat... 551 00:19:10,331 --> 00:19:11,365 Zane Troy. 552 00:19:12,767 --> 00:19:14,635 Thank you. I just want to say I would never 553 00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:17,137 have found the hat without my old friend Rip Digman. 554 00:19:17,138 --> 00:19:18,705 Well, that sucks. 555 00:19:18,706 --> 00:19:19,840 Thanks for saving my life, Rip. 556 00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:21,541 Of course, Saltine. 557 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:24,278 -There was never a question of what I would do. -What? 558 00:19:24,279 --> 00:19:25,479 I want to say I'm sorry. 559 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,580 I dragged you into all of this, 560 00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:28,048 and it amounted to nothing. 561 00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:29,583 I hope your next assistant will make you proud. 562 00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:31,451 She already has. 563 00:19:31,452 --> 00:19:34,187 Surprise! I'm hiring you as my permanent assistant. 564 00:19:34,188 --> 00:19:36,723 Seriously? But we lost the hat because of me. 565 00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:38,458 We lost the hat because of Zane. 566 00:19:38,459 --> 00:19:41,995 But you, you helped me get back on the proverbial arky horse. 567 00:19:41,996 --> 00:19:43,397 I know your family doesn't approve 568 00:19:43,398 --> 00:19:44,731 of your lifestyle, Saltine, 569 00:19:44,732 --> 00:19:45,999 but they can go to hell 570 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,468 and burn there for a thousand years 571 00:19:48,469 --> 00:19:52,439 as we laugh at them and spray our hot, frothy oat piss 572 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,107 all over their charred corpses 573 00:19:54,108 --> 00:19:57,911 with the force of a thousand beer-bloated stallions. 574 00:19:57,912 --> 00:20:01,114 That was a really nice speech. 575 00:20:01,115 --> 00:20:03,150 Thanks. I wrote it on this piece of toilet paper 576 00:20:03,151 --> 00:20:04,484 while you were unconscious. 577 00:20:04,485 --> 00:20:06,486 Swooper even took an uncredited pass. 578 00:20:06,487 --> 00:20:07,922 Happy to help. 579 00:20:09,023 --> 00:20:11,325 So, what's next for us, boss? 580 00:20:11,326 --> 00:20:12,927 I'll be in touch. 581 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,773 I trust this will be to your liking. 582 00:20:27,775 --> 00:20:29,843 Rip, I'm so glad you're back. 583 00:20:29,844 --> 00:20:31,478 The phone's been ringing off the hook. 584 00:20:31,479 --> 00:20:32,679 With job offers? 585 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,181 No, there's a problem with the phone. 586 00:20:34,182 --> 00:20:35,682 It keeps ringing off the hook. 587 00:20:35,683 --> 00:20:36,817 I called the phone company 588 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,218 and they're gonna fix it tomorrow. 589 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,253 - See? - Oh, yeah, look at that. 590 00:20:40,254 --> 00:20:41,688 - That's freaky. - Also... 591 00:20:41,689 --> 00:20:43,790 you're getting a bunch of emails with job offers. 592 00:20:43,791 --> 00:20:44,825 Really? 593 00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,493 I guess some smaller museums 594 00:20:46,494 --> 00:20:49,262 saw Zane say nice things about you in his press conference. 595 00:20:49,263 --> 00:20:51,565 Because his dry British wit makes it impossible to tell 596 00:20:51,566 --> 00:20:53,033 when he's being sarcastic. 597 00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:54,668 Good God, Agatha. Do you know what this means? 598 00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:57,105 Rip Digman is back! 599 00:20:59,574 --> 00:21:02,275 Hey, Swooper. I'm heading into my secret chamber. 600 00:21:02,276 --> 00:21:03,478 Have a nice shit. 601 00:21:15,323 --> 00:21:16,391 Hey, babe. 602 00:21:17,759 --> 00:21:19,326 Things are finally looking up. 603 00:21:19,327 --> 00:21:22,396 Soon I'm going to find the Grail and bring you back. 604 00:21:22,397 --> 00:21:23,563 But in the meantime, 605 00:21:23,564 --> 00:21:25,332 don't you worry about me being faithful. 606 00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:27,768 Because the only dating I'm interested in... 607 00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:29,037 is carbon dating. 608 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,045 Chirp.