1
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:56,260
If it itches it's grass.

2
00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:59,630
Oh my god avoiding my ass.

3
00:00:59,640 --> 00:00:59,970
Oh, girl, not again...

4
00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:04,260
Now I'm a transformer in front of all your eyes.

5
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,160
I face it.

6
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,940
Hey, girl. Want some brown liquor?

7
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,980
Brown liquor don't make this pussy pop.

8
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:15,760
Tequila it is.

9
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:17,140
Here you go.

10
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,090
Viva la River Luciana!

11
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,960
Now that shit right there making pussy pop on a
headstand.

12
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,020
So what are you doing here anyway?

13
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,720
What you think I'm doing here?

14
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,140
I'm starring in the opening scene.

15
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,660
Been there done that.

16
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:35,680
Pick up the phone!

17
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,940
Richie? Tiana. Hey.

18
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,620
I thought it would be easier for the audience if
they didn't have to read more texts.

19
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,630
Yeah, that makes sense.

20
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,060
Because you know these motherfuckers can't read.

21
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:48,420
I know who goes to see a Waze Brothers movie.

22
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,320
Well, it's nice to phone meet you in this super
awkward way.

23
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,510
Likewise. But I gotta be honest.

24
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,560
When I seen your profile picture, bitch, you
almost swiped left because you look mad goofy.

25
00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:02,030
But surprisingly, you know, them goofy niggas got
big dick.

26
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,300
So here we are.

27
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,820
I take you for a Jersey girl.

28
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,100
A Jersey girl?

29
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,300
Listen, I love Jersey down.

30
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,420
But I'm a Harlem girl.

31
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,000
Born and motherfucking raised.

32
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:12,120
Real niggas only.

33
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,620
Yeah. Oh, so you're black.

34
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,980
No motherfucker, I'm black.

35
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,360
All cats. No cat.

36
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:25,720
The cats. Fuck all y'all.

37
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,460
Bitch, spit them pearls back out.

38
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,340
I want your shit.

39
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:36,060
Hello? So tell me, what's your favorite scary
movie?

40
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,480
Mmm, I don't really do them.

41
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:39,970
You know, all the super tropes and shit.

42
00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:42,040
Why is it always the white bitch at the end?

43
00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,980
Because they know it's too hard to kill a sister.

44
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:44,670
You know what I'm saying?

45
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,420
Because if the sister can survive government
cheese, we can survive anything.

46
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,020
You know, it might help if you met me outside.

47
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:53,330
Met you outside?

48
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,640
Boy, you just needy.

49
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,050
What's your sign?

50
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,050
You must be a Scorpio.

51
00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:58,480
How'd you know?

52
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,660
Good dick though, but toxic as hell.

53
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,460
Hey, is the restaurant near an alley?

54
00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,840
Yeah, it's hurry before they rob your ass.

55
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:05,970
Who rules it?

56
00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,080
That. Not today, cheap bitch.

57
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:08,820
Heard you hoe.

58
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,080
Okay, I'm coming down the alley now.

59
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:12,920
I'm here, can you see me?

60
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:13,620
I'm waving.

61
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,820
No. The person I'm looking at is not waving.

62
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,300
In fact, they're just staring at me.

63
00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:21,960
Well, stare at his ass back.

64
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,320
And don't blink.

65
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,750
Never blink. You got to scratch through lips and
be like, what?

66
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,880
No, they're walking towards me now.

67
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,140
Oh my, oh no, they have a knife.

68
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,840
Why don't I lead his ass over here?

69
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,740
And that's not the worst part.

70
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:40,240
The worst part is you know so much about horror
movies, and yet you still

71
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,820
walk into the alley alone.

72
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,400
Yeah, well the worst part is you're fucking with a
New York bitch.

73
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,820
Cuckoo! Yeah! Cuckoo!

74
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,880
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Oh,

75
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:06,680
man. Hey, he wants some

76
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,540
Avenger shit.

77
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,460
Seriously, Lang? I didn't recognize your bird
call.

78
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,410
I thought you was going more with a...

79
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:26,920
Oh! That's a pigeon, nigga.

80
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,080
It's supposed to be cuckoo, cuckoo, or hawks
who've been in an attack.

81
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:34,380
My bad. Are you done?

82
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,680
What the hell?

83
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,180
Bitch, I'm Tiana Taylor.

84
00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,580
My abs got abs.

85
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,020
Get him, dude!

86
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,830
Help! Come on, guys.

87
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:49,880
We can work this out.

88
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,830
Somebody help me!

89
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:56,600
You and Larry!

90
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,120
No, no, no, no!

91
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:07,100
We out! Get your hard-headed ass on!

92
00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:09,520
Welcome to New York, sucker!

93
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:15,060
Hey, Tiana. You might've kicked my ass, but you
still didn't win that Oscar.

94
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,180
What you say about my Oscar?

95
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:18,750
Did I stutter?

96
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,220
You lost. You right.

97
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,700
But I won that Golden Globe, bitch.

98
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,040
Oh my God, really?

99
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,080
So that's why I never watched horror movie.

100
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,220
It's fucking terrible.

101
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,280
Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags.

102
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,860
So you don't like parodies?

103
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,560
I'm more into Judd Apatow films.

104
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,760
You know, elevated comedy.

105
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,760
And what is elevated comedy?

106
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:46,260
The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh,
but makes white people feel smart.

107
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,980
Tuesday, don't answer that.

108
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:51,160
That'd be Ghostface.

109
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,220
Oh, come on, Elle.

110
00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,220
Stuff like that only happens in the movies.

111
00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:01,500
Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you to answer the
door.

112
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:02,760
What the fuck?

113
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,900
Now here's my knife.

114
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,160
Oh, there it is.

115
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,500
Hello, Tuesday.

116
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,820
I really wanna

117
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,640
get messy.

118
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,900
Don't you wanna do a neck sprain?

119
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:27,760
You really don't wanna test me.

120
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,200
I'm just gonna get sexy.

121
00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:31,760
I'm gonna get messy.

122
00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,260
Baby, get messy.

123
00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:36,000
You missed.

124
00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,380
What'd you take?

125
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,340
Just a Ritalin for my ADHD.

126
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,280
Adderall for PTSD.

127
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:44,140
A couple of Xanax for my anxiety.

128
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,700
And your boner pills.

129
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,460
So good luck getting it up now.

130
00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:52,570
Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take?

131
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,250
I don't know.

132
00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:54,520
How many come in a bottle?

133
00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:59,360
Hey, Jess. Sarah, Tuesday's in the hospital.

134
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,280
She was stabbed by a killer.

135
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,540
You know, Ghostface.

136
00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:04,200
Wait, from Wu-Tang?

137
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:09,080
Why would Ghostface kill her, aka Pretty Tony aka
Starkey Love, wanna stab my sister?

138
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,420
God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface kill her.

139
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,010
It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.

140
00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:15,960
Ah, okay, that makes more sense.

141
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,200
I ain't the one!

142
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,000
Jesus, Jack! What?

143
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:30,180
I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween.

144
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:34,620
My estranged, flat-chested half-sister was nearly
killed by a psycho in a Ghost mask.

145
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,880
I gotta go see her.

146
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:38,400
Can't make up for the past.

147
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:39,850
Well, hey, hey, hey.

148
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,860
I'm going with you.

149
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,880
Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure
you back to your hometown.

150
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,640
I'm just a supportive boyfriend.

151
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,220
Yeah. That's all.

152
00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:50,630
Okay, let's go.

153
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:51,240
Get in the car.

154
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,260
Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way.

155
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,200
I survived.

156
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,940
All thanks to my lucky penny.

157
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,120
Hey, we all leave.

158
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:27,740
Come give me a hug.

159
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,420
Come on, turn off this ratchet-ass music.

160
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,900
It's embarrassing, especially for black women.

161
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,140
It's not embarrassing.

162
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,410
I'm the cool mom everybody wished they had.

163
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,830
I'm lit. Don't forget I got practice later, so
I'll be home in a minute.

164
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:44,480
You only made the team because you're black, and
those racist fucks assumed you could play.

165
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,360
It's 2026. I don't think race is an issue.

166
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:49,800
Do you read black Twitter?

167
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,340
No. Oh, Brad, are you still dating that hoe?

168
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,210
Okay. Stop hoe-shaming her, Heffer.

169
00:08:57,220 --> 00:09:00,670
Just because Daryl and them ran a train on her
doesn't make her a hoe.

170
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,000
She's not a hoe.

171
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,480
She's sex-positive.

172
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,680
Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.

173
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:08,650
Hey, girl, look at you.

174
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,220
Early for Halloween, huh?

175
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,020
What you this year?

176
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,060
Slutty schoolgirl. How we have?

177
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,020
Hi, Miss Meeks.

178
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,600
Love the hair.

179
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,700
Very Octavia Spencer.

180
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,010
Well, thank you very much.

181
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,740
I got to invite you over and make you a little
shit pie.

182
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,790
Ooh, you know what?

183
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,960
I got to get to African American history class.

184
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,380
We're learning about slavery.

185
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:29,740
I'm trying to find out.

186
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:30,630
It was a choice.

187
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:31,640
You see that right there?

188
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,060
That's Kanye. That's right.

189
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,620
They've been teaching us wrong all this time.

190
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,020
Stay black.

191
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,260
Bye, Ma. Bye, baby.

192
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,220
Bye, Miss Meeks.

193
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,820
Son, I put some condoms in your bag.

194
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,300
You know how they trap you.

195
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:52,360
Ma! Okay, seriously, Sheriff Greg, you don't have
to walk

196
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:53,080
me to class.

197
00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:56,080
I'm fine. Jess, there's a serial killer on the
loose.

198
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,020
I'm not going to let anything happen to my baby
girl.

199
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,230
Boy, okay? I'm a baby boy.

200
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,700
I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time with this
transition.

201
00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:05,800
Okay, it's really simple.

202
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,760
Treat me like one of the guys, okay?

203
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,160
All right. I can do that.

204
00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:13,140
Yeah. Slap fight.

205
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,420
Oh, you call that a slap?

206
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,820
Who the hell did you do that for?

207
00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:21,620
Don't act like such a bitch.

208
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,300
Pfft. Bitch.

209
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,480
Yeah, not bad.

210
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,580
Who the hell lives like this?

211
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,230
Oh, honey, it is so good to see you.

212
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,060
Come in. Do you want some tea?

213
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:52,490
Oh, my God, Mother.

214
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,160
You look like shit.

215
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,220
Babe, please, this is clearly a woman who's run
out of conditioner.

216
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,690
Oh, be careful where you walk.

217
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,680
The whole place is booby-trapped.

218
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:03,080
You never know when that psycho's gonna come back.

219
00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:04,180
Come in.

220
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:11,040
Okay. I

221
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,520
hate this job.

222
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,000
Mrs. Campbell,

223
00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:24,220
I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.

224
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,690
I've heard so much about you.

225
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:27,980
Uh, none of it good.

226
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,130
I have heard nothing about you, Jack.

227
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,020
I assume you're a piece of shit.

228
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:38,120
But how would I know when I haven't heard from my
daughter in, what, six months?

229
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,920
Six years, Mother.

230
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:41,290
And whose fault is that?

231
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,170
I don't know.

232
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,380
Maybe it's yours.

233
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:49,500
That's fair. We want to learn from the horror you
survived.

234
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:54,170
Look, scary movie three and four paid me a lot of
money for a girl.

235
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,080
There is nothing to learn there.

236
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,900
But if you want to talk about the house, Bunny,
shoot.

237
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:00,240
It's happening again.

238
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:02,790
Some asshole in a mask.

239
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,320
We have to stop him.

240
00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,280
You're not ready, lovebug.

241
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,480
I have been preparing for this for years.

242
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,940
Sacrificed everything. You are a terrible mother.

243
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:14,420
Come on, honey.

244
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,280
We had some good times.

245
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,280
Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at
the mall.

246
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,400
Your turn, Sarah.

247
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,760
Move. Hi, Santa.

248
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,440
Sorry if I don't sit in your lap.

249
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:38,120
You creep me out.

250
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:49,260
Mom! Santa gave me a severed arm!

251
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,120
Be sure to thank him.

252
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:56,300
Santa! Santa, what?

253
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,580
Oh, that does.

254
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:04,000
What the fuck?

255
00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:11,160
I am sorry if that's how you found out Santa
doesn't exist.

256
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,500
Mother, I need your help.

257
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,720
To heal our emotional wounds and put the past
behind us?

258
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:21,020
God, no. No, to kill Ghostface.

259
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,520
Do you have any guns?

260
00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:26,320
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.

261
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,620
I've got millions of guns.

262
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,360
But none of them are registered due to my mental
health issues.

263
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,220
So if you could just keep that on the low.

264
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:40,750
Okay. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

265
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,400
I didn't hurt myself on any of these spikes.

266
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,880
Oh, hey. So I spoke to Sarah earlier.

267
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:53,720
Oh, is she coming?

268
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:56,080
You know I did hear a buzzing sound.

269
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:57,140
So it's possible.

270
00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:58,800
No, I meant to Woodsville.

271
00:13:59,140 --> 00:14:00,770
Dumbass. Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask.

272
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,440
Hey, Jimbo! Go deep!

273
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,940
Oh! Sweet!

274
00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:08,960
Speaking of going deep.

275
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,720
Uh, I don't know if it's a good time.

276
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,520
Everyone knows what happens to teenagers who try
to make love when there's a killer in the loose.

277
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,960
Brad's right about one thing, guys.

278
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:17,340
Okay, Ghostface is back.

279
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:18,780
We need to arm up.

280
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,340
Pepper spray, check.

281
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:25,760
Taser, check. Butt plug, double check.

282
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,400
God damn! You just carry that thing around?

283
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,900
It's easy to hide.

284
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,100
In your butt?

285
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:37,760
I'm impressed.

286
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:49,140
What's up, y'all?

287
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,260
I'm back!

288
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:55,020
I'm back! Hey, what's up, hun?

289
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:01,840
I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using
terms like unk and auntie, gaslighting

290
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:05,500
and glazing and glamping, trying to make my
generation sound old.

291
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,020
I ain't your damn unk, nigga!

292
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,130
Shorty, you're a mother's brother.

293
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,060
So, yeah, technically you are our uncle.

294
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,080
Oh, my bad.

295
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:16,760
Crazy that they let you teach here.

296
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:18,760
Teach? Nah, nigga.

297
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,400
I attend. You're looking at a proud 25th year
senior.

298
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,620
When are you finally gonna graduate?

299
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,190
By the time we do a sequel and I gotta follow you
little young niggas to college to get my

300
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,220
check. Wait, guys, Tuesday's awake.

301
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,360
Alright, Tuesday! Who the fuck is Tuesday?

302
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,110
Hey, we gotta go to the hospital.

303
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,040
You gonna take the bus home?

304
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,480
Nah, the PJ.

305
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,260
Private Jett? Yeah, jealous.

306
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,350
Man, you smoke weed all day.

307
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,160
You just play video games, you do the livestream,
you literally got money doing nothing.

308
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,320
Exactly. I leave the hard work for the old heads.

309
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,060
Shit, son!

310
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,130
Still the same shorty.

311
00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:56,370
Alright. Check my crypto, nigga.

312
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:58,360
Oh, shit, I'm up three million dollars!

313
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,880
Damn, now I'm down five million.

314
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:04,060
This shit crazy, son.

315
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,080
Ray! Sister Brenda, It's okay.

316
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:43,950
You heard the call of sin.

317
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,680
Yes, you did.

318
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:48,540
But the Lord has called on us to show men such
like you the way.

319
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:51,660
Come on, son, to come with us.

320
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,020
Come on us.

321
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,180
God see you coming, so don't cheat that cologne.

322
00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:00,180
We need you to come like you never came before.

323
00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:02,460
Come for the Father, come for the Son.

324
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:04,920
I'm gonna hold your hand, and we gonna come
together.

325
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:05,810
God is good.

326
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:06,520
Yes, sir.

327
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:09,820
Hey, man.

328
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,380
Let it go.

329
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:15,100
In the name of God, let it go, Ray.

330
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,560
Let it go!

331
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,600
Nigga! Oh, my bad.

332
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:21,500
Last time.

333
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:27,580
Let's welcome a new member to our congregation.

334
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:30,520
Let the people know how you feel.

335
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,660
I'm not gay no more.

336
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,420
Oh, Ray!

337
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:44,360
Yes, sir. I'm not gay no more.

338
00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:47,380
I'm not gay no more!

339
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,760
I'm not gay no more.

340
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,440
I've been delivered!

341
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:57,340
I'll no longer date a man, even if he's sexy as
hell with his big old chesises and perky areolas.

342
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,920
Oh, yeah, you still got a secret.

343
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:04,060
I'll no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, walk
around in high heels.

344
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,040
Red bottles. The one with the cute little buckle
on the side.

345
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,320
These was my shoes.

346
00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:15,380
I'll no longer go on Granger and swipe right at
black men, white men,

347
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,220
Asian men. Even on Granger?

348
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:24,140
I'll no longer take trips to the Philippines,
looking for ladyboys to Phuket, coasting

349
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:28,080
Moody, back to Phuket, get to Vietnam to see if I
can get them any cheaper.

350
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,340
I thought that was for our anniversary, Ray.

351
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,210
Oh, this nigga got a lot in my house.

352
00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:38,020
I'll no longer stand butt naked in the mirror with
my penis tucked between my legs, dancing like

353
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,800
a dude from Silence of the Lambs.

354
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,940
They put solution in the basket, precious.

355
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,470
I'm a changed man.

356
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,720
I've been delivered!

357
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,900
I will! I said I will!

358
00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:50,000
I will! No!

359
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,100
I'm a woman!

360
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,670
Woman! Woman! Woman!

361
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,280
Take that W below.

362
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:56,880
Woman! Woman! Woman!

363
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,490
Woman! Inses! Inses!

364
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,460
Men! Woman! Woman!

365
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:05,860
No, no. No, no, Ray.

366
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,480
No, no.

367
00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:16,880
Whoa, nigga.

368
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:20,260
Are you hockey?

369
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:20,920
No, I'm not.

370
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:22,780
Hockey delivered!

371
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:33,260
I'm a changed man!

372
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,210
I'm a changed man!

373
00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:37,160
I've been delivered!

374
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,000
Oh, my God.

375
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,040
Her face, so contorted.

376
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,720
Oh, my God, in the moaning.

377
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:08,740
Ugh. I'm gonna try and get that out for an hour.

378
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:10,980
How are you feeling, toots?

379
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,240
Hey, what are they giving you for the pain?

380
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,090
Is that morphine or...?

381
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,100
Oh, bitch! Let's see.

382
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:21,540
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

383
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:25,210
Oh, this that good, good...

384
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:30,590
This that Britney Spears shit makes me want to get
half naked, dance around and juggle some knives.

385
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,420
Sarah, who's that Jeffrey Donner lookalike?

386
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,500
Oh, this is my boyfriend, Jack.

387
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:37,960
Really nice to meet you.

388
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,560
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.

389
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,800
But that ain't none of my business.

390
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,340
This old stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest.

391
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,340
So, y'all, get the fuck out!

392
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,220
Yes, ma'am.

393
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,420
Oh, not you, Sarah.

394
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,220
Why? What did I do?

395
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,660
I'm so scared.

396
00:20:59,260 --> 00:21:01,920
Oh, toots. You should be.

397
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,080
You've been stabbed nine times.

398
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,160
And the killer knows where you live.

399
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,950
I would invite you to come stay at my place, but I
don't really want that kind of juju in

400
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:16,320
my house. For all we know, he's standing right
outside that door.

401
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,260
It's comforting, Sarah.

402
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:25,460
I thought I was gonna die.

403
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,080
I know, me too!

404
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,260
I planned your funeral.

405
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:30,960
What the hell?

406
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,030
And I wrote your obituary.

407
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,610
More like Chat GBT wrote it.

408
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:39,200
But you're still here, and I will never let anyone
hurt you.

409
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,160
Oh, yum! Ouch!

410
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,020
Get off me!

411
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,080
Help! This white girl can't die on my shift!

412
00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:52,500
I'm a DDI hire!

413
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:53,310
Oh, my God!

414
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:53,630
Oh, my God!

415
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,130
Two spied a second ago!

416
00:21:55,140 --> 00:21:56,250
No, I'm good.

417
00:21:56,260 --> 00:21:57,700
I'm good. Queer!

418
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,500
Again! Come on, white bitch, I need this job!

419
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,580
It's not working!

420
00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:05,660
Oh, we're losing her!

421
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,900
Hide her! No!

422
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:17,240
Oh, boy. Look like there ain't nothing left but
thorns, prayers, and pork rinds.

423
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,140
Dear Lord. Nurse Ratchet, check out the wire!

424
00:22:21,380 --> 00:22:23,290
The wire was the shit, baby.

425
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:28,040
That's my show, drugs, and that Idris Alba make
this Gucci wanna pop, pop, pop!

426
00:22:28,220 --> 00:22:32,690
Dear Lord, please accept this white bitchin'.

427
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:36,020
Oh! The Lord works in mysterious ways.

428
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:37,880
I'm going on break.

429
00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:42,400
Oh, Jews. I will never let anyone hurt you.

430
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,280
Oh! My bad!

431
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,920
Hello? Hello, Sarah.

432
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:05,920
Who is this?

433
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:09,340
Someone who knows your little secret.

434
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:10,530
No, no, no.

435
00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:12,990
I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute, okay?

436
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,160
I won prom queen, and I was throwing my heart to
the crowd!

437
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:21,020
No! I'm talking about your family secret.

438
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,140
Oh, you're the fucking fuck who hurt my sister!

439
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,920
Well, I had to get you to come back here.

440
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,160
Listen, if you wanna fuck with me, asshole, then
come and get me!

441
00:23:32,180 --> 00:23:33,520
With pleasure.

442
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,840
Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!

443
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,140
Help! Somebody help!

444
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,700
Please! Somebody help!

445
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,820
Bitch! This the break room!

446
00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:50,630
We on break!

447
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,060
Oh, my God.

448
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,560
Take that!

449
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,660
Please, save me!

450
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,320
I've been saving people all day!

451
00:24:08,340 --> 00:24:14,140
So you handle yours, I'll be right or here eating
my falafel and my pork

452
00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:16,380
rinds. I look like your mama.

453
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,180
Right now breaks over.

454
00:24:27,980 --> 00:24:28,960
You're welcome.

455
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:35,560
It really looks like you got hit with something
hard, like metal.

456
00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:37,400
I told you, I fell.

457
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,460
Now where exactly are we going?

458
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:41,200
To talk to an expert.

459
00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:58,860
Go away! I'm so sorry to bother you, we just we
just wanna ask you a few questions.

460
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,800
Give me one good reason why I should talk to you.

461
00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:03,920
I'm white? How white?

462
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,180
Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens white.

463
00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:12,380
Fix it! When you said expert, I assumed you meant
more like Neil deGrasse Tyson or Pops.

464
00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:14,240
I'm Sarah Campbell.

465
00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:15,050
I was a tennis player.

466
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:16,840
I think you should leave.

467
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,240
I don't wanna get stabbed.

468
00:25:18,260 --> 00:25:19,770
I don't want COVID, okay?

469
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:22,380
Please, come on, just two minutes, that's all I'm
asking.

470
00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:25,280
No, no. I'll give you eight minutes.

471
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,500
And another thing,

472
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,740
I got tested for COVID.

473
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:31,840
Oh my god!

474
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:36,200
Oh! Now you guys are good.

475
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,580
When did the work week become the woke week?

476
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,640
We've got Black Friday, what's next?

477
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,190
Mulatto Monday? I mean Yellow Thursday?

478
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,080
Okay. Come on.

479
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,160
Let me get this out of your way.

480
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:54,460
Sorry. COVID test are done.

481
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,040
Yep, you're good.

482
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:00,740
You're Cindy's daughter, right?

483
00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:03,180
Yeah. I don't know him.

484
00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:05,740
Oh, this is Jack, my love interest.

485
00:26:05,860 --> 00:26:07,720
No, no, no, no.

486
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:13,260
Rule number one of surviving a horror movie is
never trust your love interest.

487
00:26:13,420 --> 00:26:14,280
Look at him.

488
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:20,960
He's got that weird lazy eye poking one way and
then he's drooling like a psychopath.

489
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,860
He's got that stump leg that makes the wall walk
weird and creepy.

490
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,460
I don't have a stump.

491
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,800
Well, that guy does.

492
00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,660
Oh. I'm looking at me.

493
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,300
So she'll have to do be retired.

494
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,260
Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help.

495
00:26:38,940 --> 00:26:41,260
No. I can't go back to that life.

496
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,630
Plus, we're in the middle of a global pan...

497
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:47,640
Okay, I hate to break it to you, but COVID has
been over for like years.

498
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:50,560
Really? Yeah.

499
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:54,340
Damn it!

500
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,380
What am I gonna do with all this canned meat?

501
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,520
Get out! I don't want those sheets to find me.

502
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:03,580
And don't come back!

503
00:27:13,460 --> 00:27:17,520
Doofy! Doofy! Doofy!

504
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,700
Catch you later, Doofy.

505
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,700
Before you get dirty.

506
00:27:27,220 --> 00:27:29,750
Okay, just because he showered doesn't mean
that...

507
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,700
You know, I didn't shower.

508
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,700
I just take water from my mouth.

509
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:33,940
You want some?

510
00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:34,910
No, that's okay.

511
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,460
Come on, Doofy.

512
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,600
Sarah, is your ghetto ass mom coming?

513
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,260
Or can we start talking about this plot?

514
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:45,560
Uh... Hi.

515
00:27:46,740 --> 00:27:49,560
You came. Not in like 15 years, honey.

516
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,800
But I did buy this new rose, so fingers crossed.

517
00:27:58,180 --> 00:28:02,430
Oh! Oh! Oh, my old friend!

518
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,860
You taught me how to dance?

519
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:08,060
How to make a high and word pie?

520
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,660
Nigga, I'm writing back to you.

521
00:28:10,860 --> 00:28:12,590
Jordy! What's up, Sandy?

522
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,720
How you doing?

523
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,700
My nigga.

524
00:28:15,620 --> 00:28:17,180
Oh, shit, son!

525
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,440
I can't believe you thought I was dead!

526
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:26,320
Well, between cancer, from the weed, smoke, your
love of the McRib, and racist cops, I didn't think

527
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:27,470
you had a chance.

528
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,820
Yeah, that's a terrible combination.

529
00:28:29,940 --> 00:28:33,280
Hi, Sand. Stop smiling at me!

530
00:28:34,940 --> 00:28:37,920
Shit! Wildstar! Wildstar!

531
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,370
Wildstar! Hey! He's intellectually disabled.

532
00:28:41,380 --> 00:28:43,510
That's just how he looks, you drunk honky.

533
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:44,380
Hey, hey, hey!

534
00:28:44,460 --> 00:28:46,060
Don't call that white bitch a honky.

535
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,440
Come on, have some respect.

536
00:28:47,580 --> 00:28:50,300
I keep seeing people smiling everywhere.

537
00:28:50,620 --> 00:28:54,340
I'm not very likable, so it must be some kind of
curse.

538
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,420
Hey, everybody! Look what I got!

539
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:03,360
Non-branded gelatin shots made with grain alcohol
and GHB, so ain't nobody sipping nothing they
ain't consent

540
00:29:03,580 --> 00:29:05,760
to like last time, which I apologize.

541
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,760
Take one. I love Rufy and myself.

542
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:09,980
No, ma. No, ma.

543
00:29:10,020 --> 00:29:13,270
Hi, Brenda. Please do not call me by my government
name.

544
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,260
Call me, ma.

545
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:20,260
Sandy! You dropped the tray.

546
00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:21,070
Oh, my God!

547
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,340
Cindy! I haven't seen you in forever!

548
00:29:24,060 --> 00:29:24,530
I got it!

549
00:29:24,540 --> 00:29:24,950
Look at you!

550
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,080
You look the same!

551
00:29:26,740 --> 00:29:28,030
Minus the crow's feet.

552
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,280
And your hair is so dry!

553
00:29:30,580 --> 00:29:33,240
Oh, and your titties dropped so far.

554
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,200
Other than that, you look the exact same!

555
00:29:36,260 --> 00:29:37,580
What have you been up to?

556
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:43,020
Oh, you know, neglecting my children so I can
prepare to kill Ghost Fish should he ever return.

557
00:29:43,660 --> 00:29:44,680
What about you?

558
00:29:44,940 --> 00:29:49,390
Well, I've been mostly just getting high school
kids drunk in a desperate attempt to stay young
and keep my

559
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,060
kids at home.

560
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,800
I always knew you'd be a great mom.

561
00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:54,350
Oh, Cindy! Should we hug?

562
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,470
Oh, I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so
I'm supposed to be racist.

563
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,080
Oh, girl! I think all white people are racist
anyway.

564
00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:02,140
Come here! Okay!

565
00:30:03,060 --> 00:30:05,640
Oh! Do you want a shot?

566
00:30:05,860 --> 00:30:06,810
Oh, yes, yes!

567
00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:12,620
Please! You know, ma, this place could be so cool
if you had, like, a beer pong table over there,

568
00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:14,060
maybe like a snack wall.

569
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:15,000
What you know about cool?

570
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:20,840
When I was your age, I was popping bottles with
Puffy, Puff Daddy, Pee Diddy, Diddy, all the
Shawns!

571
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:22,980
That didn't age well.

572
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,160
Your mama was the freak in the freak-offs.

573
00:30:26,420 --> 00:30:28,100
You want to see something cool?

574
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,260
I'm going to show you something cool.

575
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,760
God, that's cool.

576
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:39,880
What are you doing?

577
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,220
What? No, not like that.

578
00:30:44,020 --> 00:30:47,570
Yeah! I don't know why y'all acted so scurried.

579
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:48,760
The gun ain't even loaded.

580
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:49,940
Oh, shit!

581
00:30:51,060 --> 00:30:53,600
Shit! Uh-oh.

582
00:30:53,860 --> 00:30:54,800
I did it again.

583
00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,880
I always forget that last one in the chamber.

584
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:00,940
Help me move this body.

585
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000
Yeah, you got it.

586
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:03,220
That was fun.

587
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,840
Oh, so what are you doing after this?

588
00:31:05,860 --> 00:31:07,260
I want to go to Cabo.

589
00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:09,120
I love Cabo.

590
00:31:09,540 --> 00:31:10,360
You know what?

591
00:31:10,420 --> 00:31:13,550
I used to put cocaine up my hoo-ha and travel
there all the time.

592
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:19,360
Yeah. Oh.

593
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:26,400
All right. Let's get back to the plot.

594
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,040
I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy eyes, looking like a
school shooter.

595
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,240
I think you the killer.

596
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:32,540
Oh, me? Okay.

597
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,320
What about Deputy Doofy over there?

598
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,700
I don't have a motive.

599
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:36,820
You know, what's my motive?

600
00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:39,120
You were the killer in the first movie.

601
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:40,710
Shouldn't you be locked up?

602
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:45,600
No, I got pardoned mostly because of the storming
the Capitol, you know.

603
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:46,960
I got proof.

604
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:48,230
This is me.

605
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,500
Oh. And it's framed.

606
00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:50,680
That's a cool hit.

607
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,140
What about Jess?

608
00:31:53,820 --> 00:31:54,560
What about me?

609
00:31:54,660 --> 00:31:58,940
If anybody here has issues that could lead to
murder, you've seen the end.

610
00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:01,180
Trans shaming is not cool, okay?

611
00:32:01,380 --> 00:32:02,550
He's just a dude.

612
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:06,160
Yeah. Minus the upper body strength and the dick
part.

613
00:32:06,220 --> 00:32:08,380
Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay?

614
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,980
I do. Hey.

615
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:16,240
Listen, what we know so far is everyone who's been
attacked is related to the original characters.

616
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,060
He wants to kill the kids.

617
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,300
Aha! He's making a reboot of Quote.

618
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:22,790
A what now?

619
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:24,800
Yep. It's like a reboot and a sequel.

620
00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:30,740
Mixes legacy characters with new characters in an
attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia and bring

621
00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:31,960
more fans to the theaters.

622
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,020
Just like last years, I know what you did last
summer.

623
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:37,120
That's a movie?

624
00:32:37,260 --> 00:32:38,640
What did I do last summer?

625
00:32:38,660 --> 00:32:41,120
I think you're talking about the summer I turned
pretty.

626
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,340
Yeah. Ray, when did you get here?

627
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,010
I've been here.

628
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:45,380
I was just hanging out by the men's room.

629
00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:47,520
Oh. My room?

630
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:52,740
Okay. So that means that our killer is writing his
own version of horror movie.

631
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:57,420
Okay. So according to the Rebooty Call rules,
who's killer?

632
00:32:58,620 --> 00:33:00,580
I think it's pretty obvious.

633
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,940
Who? You, bitch.

634
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,800
Me? Guys, I am not the killer.

635
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,820
Ghostface attacked Twoz to lure me back here.

636
00:33:11,940 --> 00:33:17,460
I think he attacked Twoz to get you back here so
he could get me back here.

637
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,760
He wants to kill the OGs.

638
00:33:19,860 --> 00:33:21,040
That was a flex.

639
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,240
Yeah, that sounds better.

640
00:33:22,980 --> 00:33:26,240
Fuck this and fuck you, mother!

641
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,300
To your mother?

642
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,920
Hey! Don't be so disrespectful!

643
00:33:32,180 --> 00:33:33,480
And call me mom!

644
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,460
Or mommy. Or whatever's more comfortable.

645
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,420
... ...

646
00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:46,490
... ... ...

647
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:47,100
... ...

648
00:33:57,140 --> 00:33:58,400
Talk to me.

649
00:33:58,660 --> 00:34:01,540
Hello, Sheriff. Agent Underwood?

650
00:34:02,060 --> 00:34:03,600
I'll give you one hint.

651
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,000
What's your favorite scary movie?

652
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,420
Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn.

653
00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:11,200
I mean, the member on that English guy was
terrifying.

654
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:16,040
And Ken Jiung's junk in The Hangover was a much
better depiction of the male anatomy.

655
00:34:16,740 --> 00:34:18,120
Now what do you want, fuckface?

656
00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:23,440
Well, I'm just calling to tell you that by the
time you get home, I'll have gutted your baby
girl.

657
00:34:24,580 --> 00:34:27,000
Hey, asshole. She's a boy!

658
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:42,100
Yes! Looking

659
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,100
for this?

660
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,020
Let me help you.

661
00:34:57,460 --> 00:34:59,720
I got your baby dick.

662
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,400
Winky, winky, winky, winky.

663
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:10,400
... Alright,

664
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,500
here we go.

665
00:35:13,060 --> 00:35:14,340
What do you want, fuckface?

666
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,780
Well, like father, like son.

667
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,820
I understand you're home alone.

668
00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:26,780
Well, dad's out, but the pool guy, the gardener,
and the plumber are all here, asshole.

669
00:35:27,540 --> 00:35:28,800
Look out your window.

670
00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:36,480
... No! But they're the backbone of the American
workforce.

671
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,980
And I'm too white to do those jobs.

672
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,740
Let's cut to the chase.

673
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,860
I'll ask you one question.

674
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,700
If you answer correctly, you live.

675
00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:49,600
Who was the killer in Horror Movie?

676
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,210
Oh, that was easy.

677
00:35:51,220 --> 00:35:52,970
It was Bobby and then K.

678
00:35:52,980 --> 00:35:56,410
Ray, the guy who was totally into dudes even
though he claimed he wasn't.

679
00:35:56,420 --> 00:35:58,080
Classic 2000s homophobia.

680
00:35:58,480 --> 00:35:59,570
But I got you, bitch.

681
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:02,940
Wrong. You forgot special officer Doofy.

682
00:36:03,020 --> 00:36:04,800
Now you die.

683
00:36:12,860 --> 00:36:14,680
... ... Oh, fuck that!

684
00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:18,740
... You should probably answer that.

685
00:36:18,820 --> 00:36:21,960
I can literally see you trying to steal my
package.

686
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:24,420
... Oh, shit.

687
00:36:25,700 --> 00:36:26,720
That was easy.

688
00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:32,220
... Someone order steaks.

689
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:33,220
Let's go, Puff.

690
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:36,800
Wait a sec.

691
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,200
Careful. You must not let any killer.

692
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,240
You are about to identify as dead.

693
00:36:46,020 --> 00:36:51,600
... You stand like a girl.

694
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:56,880
... ...

695
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:00,060
... Come on, girl.

696
00:37:00,420 --> 00:37:01,740
... ...

697
00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:06,630
This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News.

698
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,480
Rapid News? You mean Vapid News?

699
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,120
You don't even have a camera man.

700
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:11,500
My apartment!

701
00:37:12,940 --> 00:37:14,080
Excuse me.

702
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,790
Oh, my. You're...

703
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:23,040
Yes, yes. Three time Emmy nominee for Outstanding
Achievement in Sensational Reporting.

704
00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:27,460
I was gonna say the lady from Friends, but shorter
and with less Botox.

705
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,500
Oh, is that what you were gonna say?

706
00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:31,900
Yeah. You seriously don't know who I am?

707
00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:33,050
Baby girl, I am Gale...

708
00:37:33,060 --> 00:37:35,000
Gale Swallows. Hey.

709
00:37:35,540 --> 00:37:36,650
Hail Storm. Gale Hail...

710
00:37:36,660 --> 00:37:37,960
Get the hell out of my way!

711
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,060
Doofus? Hey, Gale.

712
00:37:47,620 --> 00:37:49,260
You have an extra day.

713
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,100
You've aged like a million days.

714
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,030
That's this many, Gale.

715
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,490
Yeah, your fingers smell like genitals.

716
00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:55,860
What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform?

717
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,020
I'm back on the case.

718
00:37:58,380 --> 00:37:59,800
Yeah, I'm gonna bust a ghost face.

719
00:38:00,020 --> 00:38:03,700
Well, tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy.

720
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:09,840
Wow. Are there any suspects in this tragic yet
completely predictable incident?

721
00:38:09,940 --> 00:38:11,340
You're not allowed to say.

722
00:38:11,900 --> 00:38:13,950
No, no. Yes, you can.

723
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,890
You're not... Oh, good.

724
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:18,080
Tell me. Oh, my God.

725
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:24,100
What's up? Hey, remember when you used to give
blowjobs for sensitive information?

726
00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:27,110
I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay?

727
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,260
Not since me, too.

728
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:32,460
Okay. Sorry. I give handjobs now, but the story
better be good.

729
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:33,550
Okay, I'll do a handjob.

730
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:34,170
Let's do it.

731
00:38:34,180 --> 00:38:35,240
Let's do it.

732
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,510
What the... I'm gonna get you.

733
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:57,770
I'm gonna get you.

734
00:38:57,780 --> 00:38:58,830
I'm gonna get you.

735
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,960
Ray? You got my outfit, you little critter.

736
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,500
Maybe weed shouldn't be legal.

737
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,780
Fuck yeah, it should.

738
00:39:21,420 --> 00:39:26,340
Hello, Shorty. You do know that smoking is bad for
you?

739
00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:28,680
Actually, weed ain't bad for you.

740
00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:33,180
You got vitamin T, C, and H, C, B, and D.

741
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,400
What's the matter, Shorty?

742
00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:38,100
You look a little antsy.

743
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:43,300
Maybe because there's a masked serial killer
sipping tea in my den.

744
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:44,930
Shorty, you're my nigga.

745
00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:44,980
I'm not a fucking nigger.

746
00:39:44,980 --> 00:39:47,180
I mean, Fred, please.

747
00:39:47,340 --> 00:39:49,580
Sit. Do you

748
00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:53,760
want to quit smoking?

749
00:39:54,180 --> 00:39:59,900
Well, to be honest, I tried to quit, but my mother
said, I ain't raising no quitters.

750
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:01,680
So I quit quitting.

751
00:40:01,940 --> 00:40:03,300
We could try hypnosis.

752
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:08,160
Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches you try
and wave in front of my face.

753
00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,670
It ain't gonna work, son.

754
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,660
You can't magnetize me.

755
00:40:11,860 --> 00:40:16,980
Sleep. Shorty.

756
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:23,460
What's happening? Tell me about your mother.

757
00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:29,020
Damn, nigga. Let's start with something like,
like, do you lick ass?

758
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:29,840
Yes or no?

759
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:31,080
The answer's yes.

760
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,760
So what happened to her, Shorty?

761
00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:38,940
She was coming home.

762
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,960
Her car was parked on the side of the road.

763
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,840
Someone was in it.

764
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:46,860
And something bad was happening.

765
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:52,760
Why did you call anyone?

766
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,320
I couldn't. I had warrants.

767
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:56,680
You were 11.

768
00:40:57,180 --> 00:40:58,660
I started young, nigga.

769
00:41:00,940 --> 00:41:02,980
What do you see?

770
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:10,580
I see a big explosion of water.

771
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,720
It was like a civil rights hose.

772
00:41:19,140 --> 00:41:20,660
Police said it was a murder-suicide.

773
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:23,380
She killed that man.

774
00:41:23,620 --> 00:41:27,320
When they opened the car door, his limp body just
slid out.

775
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,900
Like the green nigga in shape of water.

776
00:41:33,820 --> 00:41:35,550
I just didn't want it to be real.

777
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,480
Why don't you want to be real?

778
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:40,560
That my mother was a squirter.

779
00:41:41,420 --> 00:41:45,560
Okay, dear squirter, all the floors in our bedroom
was warped.

780
00:41:45,820 --> 00:41:47,000
I can't move.

781
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,240
You're paralyzed. Now,

782
00:41:51,380 --> 00:41:52,770
sink into the chair.

783
00:41:52,780 --> 00:41:53,760
Wait, no, wait.

784
00:41:53,900 --> 00:41:57,220
Sink! Aaaaaah!

785
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,800
Niggaaaaaah! I'm

786
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:15,360
in a K-hole son!

787
00:42:17,020 --> 00:42:20,340
No, you're in a K-pop hole.

788
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:22,660
What's up? What's up?

789
00:42:27,140 --> 00:42:29,760
I spanked the ball, now I'm so stoned.

790
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:31,760
Your mouth in the wind.

791
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,220
Got me speaking Korean.

792
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:35,010
Oh shit, sir!

793
00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:36,320
Got so high.

794
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,690
I was out of my mind.

795
00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:41,710
I can't feel my own face.

796
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:44,580
I'm no problem child.

797
00:42:45,100 --> 00:42:46,820
Fucking black in my mind.

798
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,910
Now I'm about to get laid.

799
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,160
Y'all about to get sprayed.

800
00:42:51,260 --> 00:42:53,060
Now I'm flying.

801
00:42:53,300 --> 00:42:55,080
Time for dinning.

802
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,760
Cause I got the munchies.

803
00:42:58,100 --> 00:43:03,020
Skywalker, they don't need a reason to bang these
demons.

804
00:43:03,260 --> 00:43:05,380
Now we just gotta get high.

805
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,980
We don't wanna up, up.

806
00:43:09,060 --> 00:43:10,180
Nigga, we smoking.

807
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,240
We about to be smoking.

808
00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:14,260
Gonna be, gonna be smoking.

809
00:43:15,220 --> 00:43:15,710
Oh, oh, oh.

810
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,020
Up, up, up.

811
00:43:17,060 --> 00:43:18,260
Nigga, we smoking.

812
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,260
Nigga, we gotta be smoking.

813
00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:22,400
Gonna be, gonna be smoking.

814
00:43:26,140 --> 00:43:28,020
That's a good hit.

815
00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,400
That dream was wow.

816
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,360
I must be in Elon Musk.

817
00:43:36,820 --> 00:43:39,540
Oh, Chunchashiba.

818
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:53,720
Tuesday? Bobby?

819
00:43:57,460 --> 00:43:59,340
Bobby, what the?

820
00:44:01,020 --> 00:44:02,700
She's gonna die.

821
00:44:02,980 --> 00:44:03,920
Our daughter, Sarah?

822
00:44:04,340 --> 00:44:05,390
You're probably right.

823
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,220
She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the
cut.

824
00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:09,800
I'm gonna die.

825
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:11,640
Bobby, you're already dead.

826
00:44:12,260 --> 00:44:16,000
This hallucination is a manifestation of my own
guilt for being an awful mom.

827
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,320
Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.

828
00:44:19,820 --> 00:44:21,300
You're gonna die.

829
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:24,260
Bitch, you ain't killing me.

830
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,400
You're gonna die.

831
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,720
Stop smiling. I can't.

832
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:40,000
Botox. Hey! This is the mental ward.

833
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:41,800
Everyone smiles in here.

834
00:44:41,860 --> 00:44:47,180
What? Oh, um, could you point me in the direction
of the ICU?

835
00:44:47,580 --> 00:44:48,920
Is it that way or that way?

836
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:50,660
Visiting hours are over.

837
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:51,940
Oh, yes, of course.

838
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:58,060
The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday
has nothing to do with race.

839
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:03,130
Well, just tell that to my Black friend Benita,
who's probably clocking someone over the head at
Target as we

840
00:45:03,140 --> 00:45:04,620
speak. Right, Benita?

841
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,650
Chamaoom! Man, you ain't Micah's.

842
00:45:23,660 --> 00:45:25,110
Micah got that jerry curl.

843
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:26,520
What is that, son?

844
00:45:26,620 --> 00:45:27,500
Is that shellac?

845
00:45:27,540 --> 00:45:30,600
See, people think it's shellac, but it's actually
shopping.

846
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,220
Boy, your hair look like fondue.

847
00:45:32,340 --> 00:45:34,300
It's dirty. Micah's got a monkey.

848
00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:35,440
I got a llama.

849
00:45:37,140 --> 00:45:39,880
Fuck, Micah. You can't dance, boy.

850
00:45:39,940 --> 00:45:40,820
I've been practicing.

851
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,940
Crowd! Yeah!

852
00:45:48,060 --> 00:45:49,660
Oh! I can moonwalk.

853
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,360
Where is this nigga from?

854
00:45:54,580 --> 00:45:56,140
Get two!

855
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:05,080
Jermaine. Coming Juneteenth.

856
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,080
Only on Tubi.

857
00:46:09,660 --> 00:46:11,260
I'm a bootleg bat shit.

858
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,700
Hello? Fuck this.

859
00:46:21,700 --> 00:46:23,920
I'm gonna miss you all.

860
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,260
Oh, hell no!

861
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:31,400
They blacked! Don't die!

862
00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:32,780
They blacked! Don't die!

863
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,910
Oh, god! Damn it!

864
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:46,570
Jack, you're not gonna make it.

865
00:46:46,580 --> 00:46:47,880
Did Sarah tell you to come?

866
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,920
Yeah! That's why I'm here.

867
00:46:51,460 --> 00:46:54,630
Not to murder you or anything like that.

868
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:55,800
Then why are you wearing gloves?

869
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:01,100
Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up
as O.J.

870
00:47:01,460 --> 00:47:02,340
Simpson for Halloween.

871
00:47:02,620 --> 00:47:03,420
But those fit.

872
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,970
Look out! Not cool, bro.

873
00:47:06,980 --> 00:47:08,110
You almost hit a face.

874
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,680
I mean, help!

875
00:47:17,300 --> 00:47:22,400
Oh! Ooh!

876
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,020
I'm gonna get you like a pig!

877
00:47:33,620 --> 00:47:36,310
I'm gonna... I'm gonna...

878
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,880
That was a stupid line.

879
00:47:40,660 --> 00:47:42,360
That is so true!

880
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:44,980
You're gonna do Tommy and the Bacon?

881
00:47:46,580 --> 00:47:48,160
I'm gonna get

882
00:47:50,020 --> 00:47:53,700
better writers. I'm laughing so hard that your
ribs hurt!

883
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:57,080
Wait until I stick my knife in them!

884
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,900
I'm crying over here!

885
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:07,180
I got you!

886
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,060
You're gonna kill me!

887
00:48:10,140 --> 00:48:12,440
I'm gonna die laughing first!

888
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,660
Oh, shit! You're really gonna kill me!

889
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:40,400
Oh, what were they're on?

890
00:48:42,860 --> 00:48:45,800
I'm gonna turn you into bacon, little bitches!

891
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:54,800
No! Excuse

892
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,340
me! Out of our way!

893
00:49:00,820 --> 00:49:02,960
Step aside! Fish and fish business!

894
00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:06,460
They like doing this.

895
00:49:07,220 --> 00:49:10,800
Ooh! Smile, you son of a bitch!

896
00:49:11,860 --> 00:49:16,180
What the... My psycho mother said, always keep a
stretch!

897
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,480
Go! Go! I'm gonna go get your love interest.

898
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,980
Ow! Ow! The pain!

899
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:28,130
The agony! Sarah, if I don't make it...

900
00:49:28,140 --> 00:49:30,510
Seriously, Tewes, stop trying to win an Oscar!

901
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:31,450
It's a horror movie!

902
00:49:31,460 --> 00:49:32,540
It'll never happen!

903
00:49:32,940 --> 00:49:34,360
Just ask Tommy Moore.

904
00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:37,660
No! No! Get!

905
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,300
Get! Get Jack!

906
00:49:41,460 --> 00:49:42,840
You're gonna kill me!

907
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:43,760
What the fuck?

908
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,060
I can't help myself.

909
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,660
It's just me and you now, ghostie.

910
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:54,580
You gotta shoot him in the head.

911
00:49:55,260 --> 00:49:56,360
Shoot him in the head.

912
00:50:07,380 --> 00:50:09,460
Little... Dumb smell!

913
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,900
My... Finger!

914
00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:16,940
Oh, God! What the fuck was that?

915
00:50:17,980 --> 00:50:21,260
My ass! Fuck your ass!

916
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:25,780
Pause! That's my ass!

917
00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:27,940
Any last words?

918
00:50:28,700 --> 00:50:30,360
I go pooping!

919
00:50:34,940 --> 00:50:36,390
Oh, hell no!

920
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,900
I ain't cleaning up that shit!

921
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:39,300
I'm on break!

922
00:50:39,540 --> 00:50:42,040
Come on. I'm gonna kill it, not the queen.

923
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:43,540
What'd you say?

924
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:46,720
Yo, what's up, Jack?

925
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:47,880
It's your boy Shorty.

926
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,700
That's right, it's another Halloweenathon.

927
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:55,280
And it's another day of me getting paid mad money
for doing absolutely nothing.

928
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,100
Why, you stupid motherfuckers, why?

929
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,220
They call me dumb!

930
00:50:59,740 --> 00:51:01,880
I wanna give a smooth shout out to my sponsor.

931
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,460
Angry Orchard Hard Cider.

932
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,200
They got mad apples, son.

933
00:51:11,780 --> 00:51:13,760
We cleared his savings!

934
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,200
We're marketing genius!

935
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,410
It won't be a Halloweenathon without a dope guest.

936
00:51:18,420 --> 00:51:19,930
He's a legend in the streaming game.

937
00:51:19,940 --> 00:51:22,940
Give it up for Kai Simeez!

938
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,270
Hey! Hey! Hey!

939
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:28,630
Hey! Hey! Hey!

940
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,220
Hey! Hey! Hey!

941
00:51:31,720 --> 00:51:32,720
Let's get serious.

942
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,020
What brings you to the chat?

943
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:36,440
You promised I was gonna be in the movie.

944
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:37,530
I've been calling you!

945
00:51:37,540 --> 00:51:38,560
You ghosted me!

946
00:51:39,460 --> 00:51:42,460
Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy ass baby
mamas.

947
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:43,780
That's my band.

948
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,320
Speaking of ghosted...

949
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:47,740
Somebody was talking to you.

950
00:51:48,540 --> 00:51:51,320
Hello? What's your favorite scary movie?

951
00:51:52,460 --> 00:51:55,190
Aaaaaaaaaaaah! No! Oh!

952
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,900
Oh! Oh! Oh!

953
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,020
We're breaking the internet, son!

954
00:52:06,220 --> 00:52:07,090
What's up, my guy?

955
00:52:07,100 --> 00:52:09,270
You got some Angry Orchard Hard Cider now.

956
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:09,880
You damn right.

957
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:11,600
They got mad apples.

958
00:52:13,140 --> 00:52:16,520
What's up? What's up?

959
00:52:16,860 --> 00:52:17,780
What's up?

960
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,720
What's up? What's up?

961
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,540
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Spinnin' Noodle Game!

962
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,680
We gonna go back there with these noodles and we
gonna smack the fuck out you!

963
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:31,990
Now you gotta guess who did it!

964
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,460
It doesn't even make sense!

965
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,160
This is a dumb game.

966
00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:40,460
Aaaaaaaaaah! Hey!

967
00:52:42,860 --> 00:52:44,200
Hey! Hey! Hey!

968
00:52:44,660 --> 00:52:45,520
Hey! Ah!

969
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:48,040
Wait! No! No!

970
00:52:48,100 --> 00:52:50,840
Ah! Oh! Hey!

971
00:52:51,300 --> 00:52:52,350
Hey! Hey! Hey!

972
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:56,500
You just killed Casanet on the chair!

973
00:52:57,740 --> 00:52:59,420
We make history, son!

974
00:52:59,620 --> 00:53:01,840
Ah! Money, money, money!

975
00:53:20,980 --> 00:53:22,360
Oh, thank God.

976
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:28,300
It's about time you guys got here.

977
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:30,920
Now you're gonna get it.

978
00:53:35,780 --> 00:53:37,460
So that's our suspect.

979
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:39,820
Goes by the name Short Hand.

980
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:44,140
Was the handyman at a house reputed to be haunted
in 2001.

981
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:46,980
Is there anything you're not telling me?

982
00:53:47,180 --> 00:53:48,570
That your wife hates you.

983
00:53:48,580 --> 00:53:53,270
You believe the Earth is flat and you voted for
Trump three times.

984
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:54,920
Now what, am I supposed to vote for the woman?

985
00:53:55,560 --> 00:54:00,080
Huh? I believe Short Hand is the notorious ghost
face.

986
00:54:01,820 --> 00:54:02,880
What'd that mouth do?

987
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,800
He did look pretty sketchy.

988
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,640
I got the wrong guy.

989
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,020
And you know that because you're psychic?

990
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,560
No. It says so on the arrest warrant.

991
00:54:19,420 --> 00:54:20,660
I don't know.

992
00:54:21,380 --> 00:54:22,180
That guy's black.

993
00:54:22,740 --> 00:54:24,640
He's kinda...not that black.

994
00:54:25,340 --> 00:54:26,420
Like gravy brown.

995
00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:31,480
Hit him with your strong hand!

996
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:34,140
Rest him anyways.

997
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:35,640
Probably did something, right?

998
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:37,980
Turn off your body cam!

999
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,240
Miss Hailstorm, welcome back.

1000
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:42,880
Doc, I'm begging you.

1001
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:44,300
You gotta help me look younger.

1002
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:45,950
These little bitches are killing me out there.

1003
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:49,000
They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a
ring light.

1004
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:54,880
Trust me with this weather decrepit age ravaged
body and I will make

1005
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:58,360
you whole. One middle-aged white lady special
coming right up.

1006
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:03,180
Thanks. I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins
and outs of the procedure and then we'll get
started.

1007
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,540
Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy?

1008
00:55:10,700 --> 00:55:11,920
Do you wish you were younger?

1009
00:55:12,820 --> 00:55:14,570
Sexier? Fuckable again?

1010
00:55:14,580 --> 00:55:20,380
One single injection unlocks your DNA creating a
new barrier.

1011
00:55:22,260 --> 00:55:24,360
This is the stuff.

1012
00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:30,240
Doc, this isn't that Gwyneth Paltrow crap that
makes you smell like a vag, is it?

1013
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,500
I like it.

1014
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,900
Oh! Oh!

1015
00:55:43,260 --> 00:55:48,000
Oh! Wow,

1016
00:55:51,940 --> 00:55:53,120
that's a lot of stuff.

1017
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:56,380
Ooh, a mask on a mask.

1018
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:58,580
Safety first, right Doc?

1019
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,140
Oh! Oh! Oh no!

1020
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,620
I was having second thoughts!

1021
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,340
I'm gonna love and accept myself as I am!

1022
00:56:08,980 --> 00:56:13,320
Ah! I feel...

1023
00:56:13,740 --> 00:56:14,860
fucking down.

1024
00:56:17,580 --> 00:56:19,500
Ah! Ah!

1025
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:30,150
Ah! Ah! Ah!

1026
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:30,900
Ah! Ah!

1027
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:52,720
Ah! Oops,

1028
00:57:12,620 --> 00:57:13,340
wrong movie.

1029
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:16,990
You were thinking of...

1030
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,180
But you said it.

1031
00:57:19,380 --> 00:57:21,360
White chicks to my ass.

1032
00:57:29,100 --> 00:57:31,140
Hey, Sarah.

1033
00:57:32,740 --> 00:57:36,060
Tuesday, I tried to visit you.

1034
00:57:36,180 --> 00:57:40,150
I am sorry for everything, especially your name.

1035
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:43,260
It was Taco Tuesday, I was super drunk.

1036
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,160
But I promise you, I will kill this motherfucker!

1037
00:57:46,700 --> 00:57:47,760
It's fine, really, we're cool.

1038
00:57:47,780 --> 00:57:49,300
I'm not... I'll hold the car.

1039
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,650
I'm going to take you to the car!

1040
00:57:51,660 --> 00:57:53,840
I got stabbed in my death, you dumbass!

1041
00:57:53,860 --> 00:57:56,700
I'm taking twos away from all of this!

1042
00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:58,480
Uh-oh.

1043
00:57:59,380 --> 00:58:03,680
I tried to run two, but it follows!

1044
00:58:04,380 --> 00:58:08,380
Now you're probably expecting a flashback to that
movie, but it's too obscure.

1045
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:09,630
Yeah, and the plot is weird.

1046
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:13,790
You have sex with someone, give them an SCD, and
then they haunt them in the form of their naked

1047
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,020
grandma. It's like an SCD by epic.

1048
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,120
The killer is taunting me!

1049
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:19,680
Why doesn't he just kill us?

1050
00:58:19,860 --> 00:58:21,240
Speak for yourself!

1051
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:22,880
Like, what are you waiting for?

1052
00:58:23,020 --> 00:58:25,800
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie, sweetie, it's like this.

1053
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:29,840
What are you waiting for, huh?

1054
00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:33,200
What are you waiting for?

1055
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,060
What are you waiting for?

1056
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:38,350
What are you waiting for?

1057
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:40,070
Oh, God, I wish you weren't my mother!

1058
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,100
What are you waiting for?

1059
00:58:44,180 --> 00:58:46,760
Candyman. Candyman.

1060
00:58:47,980 --> 00:58:50,780
Candyman. You sure about this?

1061
00:58:50,940 --> 00:58:53,440
Yeah, keep saying it.

1062
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:57,260
Candyman? Candyman!

1063
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:15,800
Oh! So, what's

1064
00:59:15,860 --> 00:59:17,300
up? You got that Candyman?

1065
00:59:18,180 --> 00:59:22,080
I got weed gummies, canuts, Yeah!

1066
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,920
shroom chops. Oh, shit!

1067
00:59:23,980 --> 00:59:26,240
And what take you so long to show up?

1068
00:59:26,260 --> 00:59:27,260
Come on, Clarence.

1069
00:59:27,260 --> 00:59:30,710
I called you five times, nigger, show up in three.

1070
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:32,700
You ain't even called me on the phone.

1071
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:36,160
Lucky I was walking by and her draw through the
hole in this wall.

1072
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:37,190
Fixed that shit.

1073
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,580
You shut your ass up.

1074
00:59:38,660 --> 00:59:41,980
You need to go to a proctologist and get your skin
looked at.

1075
00:59:42,020 --> 00:59:45,040
Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work.

1076
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:46,440
I look better than this, nigger.

1077
00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:47,410
Maybe on this side.

1078
00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:48,450
Ain't no time for beating.

1079
00:59:48,460 --> 00:59:49,960
We about to be high as fuck.

1080
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:51,280
We gonna party, son!

1081
00:59:55,100 --> 00:59:56,580
Happy Halloween, y'all!

1082
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:58,100
Watch out for those ladies.

1083
00:59:58,540 --> 01:00:00,280
That's right. Wake up.

1084
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:02,680
Hey! I love it.

1085
01:00:02,700 --> 01:00:03,460
Look at that.

1086
01:00:03,980 --> 01:00:06,240
Looking good. You seen your sister?

1087
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:10,500
Ray, you seen Gay?

1088
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:13,540
I can't find her since she went to that protest.

1089
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:18,090
No. Ray, let me get it.

1090
01:00:18,100 --> 01:00:20,120
You are Woody from Toy Story.

1091
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:21,740
Nah, Brenda, that's gay.

1092
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:24,580
Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.

1093
01:00:25,380 --> 01:00:28,100
I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't.

1094
01:00:29,460 --> 01:00:31,260
You love that movie.

1095
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:32,910
Hey, Brenda. Huh?

1096
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,400
Have you seen my big old bag of candy?

1097
01:00:35,700 --> 01:00:38,360
It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops.

1098
01:00:38,940 --> 01:00:39,750
It's gone missing.

1099
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:40,530
No, no, no.

1100
01:00:40,540 --> 01:00:41,230
It's not missing.

1101
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:42,940
I passed it out to the trick-or-treaters.

1102
01:00:43,500 --> 01:00:45,920
Brenda, that's my stash.

1103
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:57,160
Ha ha ha!

1104
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,160
I'm so fucking high!

1105
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:08,140
Woo hoo! I can't feel my wish!

1106
01:01:10,660 --> 01:01:14,020
I'm on the nose of shit!

1107
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,540
Six-seven! Six-seven!

1108
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:25,520
Ah! Fuck.

1109
01:01:53,660 --> 01:01:55,320
Why is she looking at me?

1110
01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,560
I'm a little disturbed by you.

1111
01:02:00,180 --> 01:02:00,960
I'm beautiful.

1112
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,180
I'm beautiful.

1113
01:02:18,340 --> 01:02:21,800
Do you know how many baby seals die from
microplastics?

1114
01:02:29,380 --> 01:02:32,280
Shit. Let's go, Stacey!

1115
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:39,280
My God, he stabbed her!

1116
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,900
Not her. My pronouns, are they them?

1117
01:02:42,060 --> 01:02:43,400
He stabbed them!

1118
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:44,400
I'm over 40.

1119
01:02:44,460 --> 01:02:46,520
How am I supposed to keep up with all of this?

1120
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:47,780
She's not wrong.

1121
01:02:47,860 --> 01:02:53,110
It's Karens like you that keep the patriarchy
going with their knees on our necks.

1122
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,380
Now you're playing the race card?

1123
01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:57,090
I've had enough of her shit.

1124
01:02:57,100 --> 01:02:58,280
Their shit, bitch!

1125
01:03:00,780 --> 01:03:05,340
And to be clear, my real name is Karens!

1126
01:03:05,340 --> 01:03:07,160
Oh shit, this is too good.

1127
01:03:07,220 --> 01:03:08,790
Ignore the insults.

1128
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,160
They don't realize we're here to help them.

1129
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,760
Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't help
anybody.

1130
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,720
How's my masculinity toxic?

1131
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,520
I love women and sports.

1132
01:03:19,980 --> 01:03:21,080
Just not together.

1133
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:21,980
Come here, bitch.

1134
01:03:23,260 --> 01:03:24,070
I got you.

1135
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,960
Be next! I ain't ready for this!

1136
01:03:26,180 --> 01:03:27,340
Be out there and be next!

1137
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:28,210
Fuck you, bitch!

1138
01:03:28,220 --> 01:03:29,560
So nice!

1139
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:35,140
I blame the manosphere.

1140
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:41,640
Uncle Shorty. What's up, nephew?

1141
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:43,240
Can I ask you something?

1142
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:44,940
Yeah, sure.

1143
01:03:46,500 --> 01:03:50,060
It's about, you know, how to go down on a girl.

1144
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:52,020
You talking about eating pussy?

1145
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:54,910
It's so cringe, but yeah.

1146
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:59,160
So maybe if you stop talking like a 14-year-old
white girl, you can learn something.

1147
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:00,940
Alright, so listen up.

1148
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:03,430
First thing you gotta do, you gotta spread the
legs.

1149
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:04,400
You gotta open it up.

1150
01:04:04,700 --> 01:04:05,880
Then you wanna use your fingers.

1151
01:04:06,220 --> 01:04:07,560
Sometimes you can use two.

1152
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,280
Two fingers, like that there.

1153
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:14,360
Now once you get it all in there now, you gotta
use your tongue.

1154
01:04:14,540 --> 01:04:15,780
You can't be afraid of it.

1155
01:04:18,860 --> 01:04:20,560
Yeah, lean into it.

1156
01:04:20,780 --> 01:04:22,130
No, no, no, you're doing it too fast.

1157
01:04:22,140 --> 01:04:24,600
What, you a lizard?

1158
01:04:25,060 --> 01:04:25,790
You gotta be gentle.

1159
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:26,840
You gotta talk to it.

1160
01:04:27,100 --> 01:04:28,520
Hey, little guy.

1161
01:04:28,660 --> 01:04:29,800
How you doing?

1162
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:33,600
Boom! It's like rolling a blunt.

1163
01:04:33,980 --> 01:04:35,480
All you gotta do, nephew...

1164
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:40,240
Suit that shit.

1165
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:47,180
Got it? Right, now, if you wanna learn to lick
ass, ask your mama.

1166
01:04:48,860 --> 01:04:52,460
Oh, you feel so good.

1167
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:58,520
Oh, yeah. Elle, I wanna try something.

1168
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:01,140
I thought you said you'd never let me peck you.

1169
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,700
What? No. Relax.

1170
01:05:04,260 --> 01:05:05,900
I just wanna taste you.

1171
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:12,360
Okay. Dinner time.

1172
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,900
Oh yeah, come here, baby.

1173
01:05:18,140 --> 01:05:20,540
Careful, my kitty's gangster.

1174
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:23,820
It is gangster.

1175
01:05:24,700 --> 01:05:27,040
Okay. He slapped you so hard, he wants some more.

1176
01:05:31,940 --> 01:05:35,620
You feel so much better than Daryl and them.

1177
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:38,020
Get back in there.

1178
01:05:38,660 --> 01:05:39,610
Yeah, lick it.

1179
01:05:39,620 --> 01:05:42,040
Yeah! Lick it hard!

1180
01:05:43,060 --> 01:05:48,280
Finisher. Oh my God!

1181
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:53,080
Just like rolling a blunt.

1182
01:05:54,420 --> 01:05:55,820
Now all I gotta do is hit it.

1183
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:05,220
Elle! What the fuck?

1184
01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:08,020
Hey there. We heard tell of a Halloween party.

1185
01:06:08,860 --> 01:06:10,060
You didn't now, did you?

1186
01:06:10,140 --> 01:06:13,800
We're here to drink, play bad music, do some half
-gay shit.

1187
01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:16,040
Why just half-gay?

1188
01:06:16,340 --> 01:06:17,320
Can I help you?

1189
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:19,300
If you just invite us in.

1190
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:21,020
Why you need an invitation?

1191
01:06:21,460 --> 01:06:25,660
White folks show up to parties uninvited all the
time with their little nasty ass casseroles.

1192
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:28,000
Bland as shit, y'all better start using some
Lowry.

1193
01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:30,750
And why she got them dirty ass feet?

1194
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:33,200
Looked like you was walking around porn sets all
day.

1195
01:06:33,300 --> 01:06:34,640
Got them trailer-plop toes.

1196
01:06:35,580 --> 01:06:38,000
Jesus! I think you're in the wrong place.

1197
01:06:38,340 --> 01:06:38,940
Y'all clean?

1198
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:43,370
No. We believe in music and equality.

1199
01:06:43,380 --> 01:06:45,100
How about we show y'all?

1200
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:46,180
It's okay, no.

1201
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:49,280
Well we're moving on up,

1202
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,340
to the East Side.

1203
01:06:53,340 --> 01:06:57,800
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.

1204
01:06:58,200 --> 01:06:59,900
We're moving on up.

1205
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:01,880
Degentrified to Jefferson's?

1206
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:04,330
Weezy's rolling around in her grave right now.

1207
01:07:04,340 --> 01:07:06,480
Can't do this to the black national anthem.

1208
01:07:07,860 --> 01:07:13,660
Bye! Boo!

1209
01:07:15,660 --> 01:07:16,740
Nigga you suck!

1210
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:17,640
Boo your ass!

1211
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,420
Get that bullshit out of here!

1212
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:25,090
Why don't y'all just go to one of those frat
parties where they drink until they black out and

1213
01:07:25,100 --> 01:07:28,730
wake up with their booties hurting, not knowing
what someone in the cowboy hat did to them.

1214
01:07:28,740 --> 01:07:29,580
Yeah, what?

1215
01:07:30,980 --> 01:07:36,350
Okay, well, we will leave you guys alone, but
we're gonna walk real slow just in case y'all
change

1216
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:36,960
your minds.

1217
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:40,580
Change your minds yet?

1218
01:07:40,700 --> 01:07:42,180
No. Hell no.

1219
01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:43,960
How about now?

1220
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:44,800
Fuck no!

1221
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:46,930
Yes? Hell definitely not.

1222
01:07:46,940 --> 01:07:48,800
Keep walking! Now get!

1223
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:50,150
Let's go. Sarah, come on!

1224
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:51,660
White folks is getting weird again.

1225
01:07:55,040 --> 01:07:57,380
Guys, I think I saw an open window over here.

1226
01:07:57,540 --> 01:07:58,540
That window's closed.

1227
01:07:58,740 --> 01:07:59,600
Not for long.

1228
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:06,400
Whoa! Wicked.

1229
01:08:07,860 --> 01:08:08,960
God, fucking idiots.

1230
01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:20,240
Hey, Tuesday! You came back!

1231
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:21,780
Yeah, I left my inhaler.

1232
01:08:22,420 --> 01:08:25,340
Honestly, Tuesday, I thought inhaler is the worst
plot device in movie history.

1233
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:26,940
That's true. Should have been in vape.

1234
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:29,720
But we're here now, so let's make the most of it.

1235
01:08:29,740 --> 01:08:31,940
Now where's them white clothes at?

1236
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:38,830
Sarah? Hello? Get that shit out of here!

1237
01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:41,980
Get your sister and get out of there right now,
okay hun?

1238
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:43,880
I am a grown ass woman.

1239
01:08:44,180 --> 01:08:46,870
Mother, I don't have to do anything you tell me to
do.

1240
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,740
That's the house where your psycho father killed
those people.

1241
01:08:50,060 --> 01:08:51,480
Someone wanted to get you there.

1242
01:08:52,060 --> 01:08:55,820
Which means someone wants to get me there.

1243
01:08:55,980 --> 01:08:58,260
Oh my god, this isn't about you!

1244
01:08:58,280 --> 01:08:59,300
Why are you yelling?

1245
01:08:59,340 --> 01:09:01,780
Because the camera's so fucking far away!

1246
01:09:02,540 --> 01:09:04,980
Wait, hold on, are you tracking my phone?

1247
01:09:05,140 --> 01:09:06,700
Shh, you're breaking up.

1248
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:07,760
Yeah, shh.

1249
01:09:14,140 --> 01:09:18,220
Happy birthday. Hey, that's my car!

1250
01:09:22,100 --> 01:09:23,640
What the fuck?

1251
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:27,200
Hell? I'm sorry.

1252
01:09:27,780 --> 01:09:29,940
I thought I was supposed to smoke it.

1253
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:31,840
Oh shit.

1254
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:38,220
Seriously, with the twelve years of slave shit?

1255
01:09:38,380 --> 01:09:38,810
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1256
01:09:38,820 --> 01:09:41,060
I didn't see that movie, okay?

1257
01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:43,020
I just found this thing in the shed.

1258
01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:49,320
Jeez. Come

1259
01:09:50,660 --> 01:09:53,300
on, bro. That's even worse.

1260
01:09:54,740 --> 01:09:56,620
I didn't mean it that way.

1261
01:09:56,920 --> 01:09:58,840
Some of my best victims are black.

1262
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:05,360
And another brother falls victim to gun violence.

1263
01:10:05,980 --> 01:10:07,950
Turns out race is still an issue.

1264
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:09,420
That's not fair.

1265
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:12,760
You know, black guys usually die first in horror
movies.

1266
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:19,480
Damn! This give a whole new meaning to Dead by
Daylight.

1267
01:10:20,540 --> 01:10:23,640
Yeah. Get him, son.

1268
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:26,880
Goofy ass out of here.

1269
01:10:30,260 --> 01:10:32,680
Hello, shorty. Poopoo!

1270
01:10:32,820 --> 01:10:33,820
Get him, niggas!

1271
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:36,730
Got your silly ass!

1272
01:10:36,740 --> 01:10:38,440
You about to be high.

1273
01:10:40,540 --> 01:10:45,920
Fucking... Shit!

1274
01:10:47,980 --> 01:10:50,770
Bro, why are you running backwards, son?

1275
01:10:50,780 --> 01:10:52,500
Oh, no, it's not me.

1276
01:10:52,660 --> 01:10:53,190
Something's wrong with me.

1277
01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:55,240
Nigga, your reload is upside down.

1278
01:10:55,500 --> 01:10:56,880
You're fucking high, son.

1279
01:10:57,520 --> 01:10:58,740
Game on, bitches.

1280
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:00,950
No, no, no.

1281
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:05,480
Ah! Wrong nigga!

1282
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:07,390
Black lives matter.

1283
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:08,820
Not you, shorty!

1284
01:11:08,980 --> 01:11:10,310
Oh my... I need you.

1285
01:11:10,320 --> 01:11:11,290
What's going on?

1286
01:11:11,300 --> 01:11:13,690
Jack! Oh, thank God you're here.

1287
01:11:13,700 --> 01:11:14,500
Where were you?

1288
01:11:14,780 --> 01:11:16,390
Goose face was just here.

1289
01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:18,900
I was just outside getting some fresh air.

1290
01:11:19,060 --> 01:11:22,840
Stop! One of you is the killer.

1291
01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:26,800
Well? Why do you have blood on your hands?

1292
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,800
I found Brad outside.

1293
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,180
She's the killer!

1294
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:34,390
I am not the killer.

1295
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:36,480
I'm not even sex positive.

1296
01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:37,680
I'm a virgin.

1297
01:11:38,400 --> 01:11:40,700
No way. You're being like every dude in
Woodsville.

1298
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:43,100
Fuck you. Whoa!

1299
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:46,020
The butt doesn't count.

1300
01:11:47,260 --> 01:11:50,360
Ah! Shit, she's not itched!

1301
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:53,600
Welcome to Act Three, bitches.

1302
01:11:55,460 --> 01:11:58,720
What? What does that even mean?

1303
01:11:59,900 --> 01:12:01,950
It's when the shit goes down.

1304
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:06,520
Oh. I still don't really know what she means, but
I think we should run!

1305
01:12:07,620 --> 01:12:08,860
Run! Run!

1306
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:27,060
Cindy! Brenda! Cindy, they in there shooting!

1307
01:12:27,420 --> 01:12:28,470
It's been a while.

1308
01:12:28,480 --> 01:12:32,760
I blame it on video games, not the liquor or lack
of parental supervision.

1309
01:12:33,440 --> 01:12:34,480
You're gonna need this.

1310
01:12:35,060 --> 01:12:36,660
Do you have one bigger and black?

1311
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:38,540
Oh, wrong bag.

1312
01:12:39,880 --> 01:12:42,540
Oh, who are you, Joan Wick?

1313
01:12:42,780 --> 01:12:45,140
I would have said ballerina, but nobody saw that
shit.

1314
01:12:45,780 --> 01:12:46,860
Let's do this.

1315
01:12:47,540 --> 01:12:53,340
Okay. Stop! Stop it!

1316
01:12:53,980 --> 01:12:56,000
I'm definitely not making it, please!

1317
01:12:56,260 --> 01:12:57,260
What do you think?

1318
01:12:58,020 --> 01:13:00,140
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.

1319
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:03,190
I still like Drake, but what was up with that
lawsuit?

1320
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:04,960
That's such a bitch-ass move.

1321
01:13:05,160 --> 01:13:06,380
About this situation.

1322
01:13:07,420 --> 01:13:09,260
Oh, that's definitely a trap.

1323
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:10,800
She don't know we already been here, does she?

1324
01:13:12,020 --> 01:13:17,300
Ah! Cindy! It hurts!

1325
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:20,490
Am I gonna make it?

1326
01:13:20,500 --> 01:13:21,010
I doubt it.

1327
01:13:21,020 --> 01:13:22,460
Oh, God, Cindy!

1328
01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:25,140
Oh, my bitch!

1329
01:13:25,160 --> 01:13:26,410
I'm not dead yet!

1330
01:13:26,420 --> 01:13:28,380
Oh, my bad.

1331
01:13:28,780 --> 01:13:30,520
Now you go back in there.

1332
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,860
Finish it. For me, Cindy.

1333
01:13:33,980 --> 01:13:36,140
I would do anything for you, Brenda.

1334
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:43,960
Oh, yes! She bought it!

1335
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:46,560
That old catch-up trick, it don't fail.

1336
01:13:46,740 --> 01:13:50,250
That bitch is crazy if she thought I was taking my
black ass back in there.

1337
01:13:50,260 --> 01:13:51,560
Oh, shoot!

1338
01:13:54,260 --> 01:13:55,560
Attention, all killers!

1339
01:13:56,180 --> 01:13:59,360
You have five seconds to show yourselves!

1340
01:14:12,540 --> 01:14:13,800
Shorty! Bitch!

1341
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,480
You shot my favorite ball!

1342
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:18,370
Go find your old damn closet!

1343
01:14:18,380 --> 01:14:24,180
Sorry! Hello,

1344
01:14:30,540 --> 01:14:36,340
Cindy. Hello. Looks like you forgot the first rule
of surviving

1345
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:37,820
a horror movie.

1346
01:14:37,860 --> 01:14:39,960
Never answer that phone.

1347
01:14:40,980 --> 01:14:44,660
I thought the first rule was never trust the love
interest.

1348
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,860
Oh, really? Well, I'm changing the rules.

1349
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:50,440
How about that?

1350
01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:53,800
New rule. Go fuck yourself.

1351
01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:54,740
Wait, wait!

1352
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:58,960
Oh, why do you hate closets so much?

1353
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:00,700
I told you to come out.

1354
01:15:00,820 --> 01:15:02,740
Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot!

1355
01:15:02,940 --> 01:15:04,320
Ironic, isn't it?

1356
01:15:05,180 --> 01:15:06,500
You missed me, bitch!

1357
01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:09,080
Oh, God, it's Ghostface!

1358
01:15:09,480 --> 01:15:10,360
Did tell you.

1359
01:15:11,960 --> 01:15:13,320
You think you're done, wick?

1360
01:15:13,460 --> 01:15:14,760
Acting like I killed your dog?

1361
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:17,520
I'm dead.

1362
01:15:19,780 --> 01:15:21,820
The dog is just a metaphor.

1363
01:15:22,180 --> 01:15:23,920
It was about losing his wife.

1364
01:15:24,020 --> 01:15:25,300
Shorty's not an allegory.

1365
01:15:35,860 --> 01:15:38,040
Let us begin.

1366
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,180
Oh, that stunt girl is good.

1367
01:16:40,540 --> 01:16:42,720
Eat a dick!

1368
01:16:53,300 --> 01:16:54,640
Shoot him, Sarah.

1369
01:16:54,940 --> 01:16:57,180
End this. Don't tell me what to do!

1370
01:16:57,520 --> 01:17:03,320
This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy
-daughter issues, but, Sarah, I am so

1371
01:17:03,620 --> 01:17:05,640
sorry. I have been a terrible mother.

1372
01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:08,340
I don't even know your sister, Wednesday.

1373
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:12,420
Tuesday. Have to clarify that for legal reasons.

1374
01:17:12,700 --> 01:17:14,400
But I prepared you for this.

1375
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:16,200
So go on, baby.

1376
01:17:16,580 --> 01:17:16,890
You can't do this.

1377
01:17:16,900 --> 01:17:18,200
I'm gonna kill him.

1378
01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:19,880
Sarah! Jack!

1379
01:17:24,540 --> 01:17:28,740
Jack! Thank God you're okay, because I really
wanted to be the one to kill him!

1380
01:17:29,620 --> 01:17:30,760
Take it, babe.

1381
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:34,760
See, I told you it was about me.

1382
01:17:35,100 --> 01:17:36,660
No, Sarah.

1383
01:17:38,140 --> 01:17:39,400
You were just the bait.

1384
01:17:40,160 --> 01:17:41,240
It's about her.

1385
01:17:42,240 --> 01:17:44,070
Fuck! Sorry, honey.

1386
01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:45,370
I hate being right.

1387
01:17:45,380 --> 01:17:47,620
You should have listened to Doofy.

1388
01:17:48,100 --> 01:17:49,900
The love interest.

1389
01:17:50,440 --> 01:17:52,910
It just seemed too obvious, you know?

1390
01:17:52,920 --> 01:17:55,440
Which makes you think it is not obvious.

1391
01:17:55,480 --> 01:17:56,320
Same page, honey.

1392
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:58,940
Right. Yeah, well, that's the twist!

1393
01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:00,230
Now get in the kitchen.

1394
01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:03,580
Go! Okay, listen up!

1395
01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:09,240
See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since
the first one.

1396
01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:10,980
We're gonna save the franchise.

1397
01:18:11,540 --> 01:18:12,760
Go get our special guest star.

1398
01:18:14,840 --> 01:18:17,720
Hi, Sarah. Hollywood is out of ideas.

1399
01:18:18,340 --> 01:18:20,680
Why else would there be a scary movie, Six?

1400
01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:23,000
It wouldn't work with just the new characters,
would it?

1401
01:18:23,180 --> 01:18:25,480
We need the legacy characters.

1402
01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:30,960
And there wouldn't be a Cindy without our sassy
black sidekick, Brenda.

1403
01:18:31,140 --> 01:18:34,160
You ain't have to say black with no heart, be like
that.

1404
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:36,880
Brenda, didn't you get shot?

1405
01:18:37,740 --> 01:18:38,480
Did I?

1406
01:18:39,700 --> 01:18:41,160
Oh, wait, I did!

1407
01:18:41,180 --> 01:18:43,260
Oh, look! God, that healed me!

1408
01:18:43,660 --> 01:18:44,750
Oh, what did you do?

1409
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:45,330
Stop dancing! I'm gonna kill you!

1410
01:18:45,340 --> 01:18:48,340
Stop dancing! Everybody stop dancing!

1411
01:18:50,140 --> 01:18:54,780
Mom! No! You called me mom!

1412
01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:57,600
You care about me!

1413
01:18:58,180 --> 01:19:00,310
Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I mean...

1414
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:02,060
Sure. Go get Tuesday!

1415
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:05,800
Okay, ladies, time to stage the body!

1416
01:19:06,180 --> 01:19:08,360
Let's go, let's go, let's go!

1417
01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:09,960
Who are

1418
01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:14,920
you people? We're the motherfuckers that are
taking over this franchise.

1419
01:19:15,340 --> 01:19:17,680
Oh, yeah? Okay!

1420
01:19:18,060 --> 01:19:18,920
Oh, my God!

1421
01:19:19,040 --> 01:19:21,140
That was not part of the plan!

1422
01:19:21,660 --> 01:19:22,460
Oh, God!

1423
01:19:23,800 --> 01:19:25,380
Neither was this.

1424
01:19:29,040 --> 01:19:31,140
Wait, Ray got one of those!

1425
01:19:31,420 --> 01:19:33,240
Woo! Hot damn!

1426
01:19:34,980 --> 01:19:40,700
Anthony Anderson! Yeah, and I brought my boy Kevin
Hart with me.

1427
01:19:47,560 --> 01:19:49,920
What? Shaq? That's right.

1428
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:52,100
On my knees, I'm the same height as Kevin.

1429
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:53,660
And Kevin said no.

1430
01:19:53,980 --> 01:19:55,060
Kevin Hart said no?

1431
01:19:55,160 --> 01:19:56,960
That little motherfucker says yes to everything.

1432
01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:58,120
Yeah, he does.

1433
01:19:58,380 --> 01:20:01,040
But wait, there's more.

1434
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:06,440
Chatter! Bitches! Ray!

1435
01:20:06,820 --> 01:20:09,040
Shorty! Yeah, that's right.

1436
01:20:10,100 --> 01:20:11,880
Four black killers.

1437
01:20:11,980 --> 01:20:13,360
We're making history.

1438
01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:16,460
This is a new definition of black excellence.

1439
01:20:17,660 --> 01:20:19,080
But why would you do this?

1440
01:20:19,240 --> 01:20:23,300
Question is, why would you try to make a sequel
without us, huh?

1441
01:20:23,380 --> 01:20:27,860
Yeah! When the studio wanted to replace these
brothers, I was there!

1442
01:20:28,140 --> 01:20:30,040
That's facts. What about me?

1443
01:20:30,460 --> 01:20:31,140
What about you?

1444
01:20:31,220 --> 01:20:33,620
You were in one scene in part four.

1445
01:20:33,820 --> 01:20:35,660
Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr.

1446
01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:36,700
Phil cut his foot off.

1447
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:37,670
And he crazy named.

1448
01:20:37,680 --> 01:20:38,700
Yeah, he got weird.

1449
01:20:39,280 --> 01:20:41,030
But you see what they're trying to do?

1450
01:20:41,040 --> 01:20:43,280
They're trying to pit us all up against each
other.

1451
01:20:43,320 --> 01:20:46,100
They're trying to start black on very black crime.

1452
01:20:46,160 --> 01:20:48,180
That's right! Yo, Shaq.

1453
01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:50,160
Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.

1454
01:20:50,380 --> 01:20:54,230
You've had an amazing career as a sports
commentator since retiring from basketball.

1455
01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:56,750
And I love the big podcast.

1456
01:20:56,760 --> 01:20:57,900
I love that shit.

1457
01:20:58,360 --> 01:21:00,320
Even though I don't understand the words you be
saying.

1458
01:21:00,580 --> 01:21:02,920
You be on that show talking about I love your
shit.

1459
01:21:03,100 --> 01:21:04,340
I love your shit.

1460
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:11,060
Kobe, enough! But my point is, nigga, I love your
shit.

1461
01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:14,440
But I never got over Kazan.

1462
01:21:15,100 --> 01:21:18,210
Oh, shit! Get your big ass over here!

1463
01:21:18,220 --> 01:21:19,910
I hated that movie, too!

1464
01:21:19,920 --> 01:21:21,200
Why did you leave the Vegas?

1465
01:21:21,480 --> 01:21:23,940
You and Kobe would have had nothing!

1466
01:21:24,020 --> 01:21:25,720
That motherfucker traded me!

1467
01:21:25,920 --> 01:21:29,750
Shaq! How big is your foot?

1468
01:21:29,760 --> 01:21:33,360
22. Then how big is your dick?

1469
01:21:33,480 --> 01:21:34,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1470
01:21:35,150 --> 01:21:36,710
Pulse. What the fuck are you talking about?

1471
01:21:36,720 --> 01:21:38,000
I'm doing it for the culture.

1472
01:21:38,300 --> 01:21:40,460
What culture? Culture club.

1473
01:21:41,180 --> 01:21:42,950
Come on, Ray, we're killing people.

1474
01:21:42,960 --> 01:21:44,270
Stay focused. All right, all right, all right.

1475
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:47,840
We back. Hey, Ant, don't you worry.

1476
01:21:47,940 --> 01:21:49,440
We family, Ant.

1477
01:21:50,000 --> 01:21:51,380
Mad respect, y'all.

1478
01:21:51,820 --> 01:21:54,130
Black is nominated for eight Emmys.

1479
01:21:54,140 --> 01:21:54,880
My nigga.

1480
01:21:56,060 --> 01:21:58,380
Actually, the show was only nominated for five.

1481
01:21:58,600 --> 01:22:00,440
I was nominated for eight.

1482
01:22:00,980 --> 01:22:03,630
Oh, my bestie!

1483
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:04,940
Oh, my bestie!

1484
01:22:05,820 --> 01:22:08,480
Nominations! Yeah, man.

1485
01:22:09,880 --> 01:22:11,460
But you never won.

1486
01:22:11,700 --> 01:22:15,480
What? It's June Fruite!

1487
01:22:15,620 --> 01:22:17,450
Nothing Spanish to me, motherfuckers!

1488
01:22:17,460 --> 01:22:20,080
This is for doing scary movies for you!

1489
01:22:20,440 --> 01:22:22,900
I didn't know they fired the family!

1490
01:22:22,940 --> 01:22:27,780
And this is for copying our Good Time episode on
Blackish!

1491
01:22:27,820 --> 01:22:29,960
But you guys were on the WB!

1492
01:22:30,900 --> 01:22:32,680
Nobody saw that shit!

1493
01:22:34,860 --> 01:22:36,260
No, no, no.

1494
01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:38,420
And you, and you!

1495
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:41,540
Y'all went and did scary movie three and four
without us!

1496
01:22:41,580 --> 01:22:42,710
Nigga, I'm sorry!

1497
01:22:42,720 --> 01:22:44,390
They offered me so much money!

1498
01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:48,000
I got a new house, a new car, I got wigs that
don't itch!

1499
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:50,040
What about you?

1500
01:22:51,380 --> 01:22:56,000
Well, I had a chance to work with the incomparable
Charlie Sheen.

1501
01:22:57,860 --> 01:22:59,610
That's good. He's a legend.

1502
01:22:59,620 --> 01:23:01,280
And his dick game was crazy.

1503
01:23:01,460 --> 01:23:06,360
You know, he slept with 47,000 women and a
thousand of them women were dudes.

1504
01:23:06,800 --> 01:23:07,620
Lucky guy.

1505
01:23:08,980 --> 01:23:11,340
Wait. So y'all gonna kill us now?

1506
01:23:13,340 --> 01:23:17,280
Nah! What would Halloween be without Jamie Lee
Curtis?

1507
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:19,620
Or Scream be without Neve Campbell?

1508
01:23:19,680 --> 01:23:21,020
That would be Scream 6.

1509
01:23:21,160 --> 01:23:23,780
How did you guys pull all of this off?

1510
01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:27,440
Sandy, you know how many wayans there are?

1511
01:23:28,080 --> 01:23:30,180
Nigga billions! Billions.

1512
01:23:30,320 --> 01:23:33,360
I'm just so happy that the old gang is back
together.

1513
01:23:34,220 --> 01:23:37,540
Okay, in the middle on three, core four!

1514
01:23:37,820 --> 01:23:38,860
What? Nah, nah.

1515
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:40,760
That's corn and swag.

1516
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:45,080
What about the young and the restless?

1517
01:23:45,180 --> 01:23:47,880
Yeah, or the old and then the beautiful.

1518
01:23:48,300 --> 01:23:50,730
Or the cute and the crusty.

1519
01:23:50,740 --> 01:23:53,040
Yeah, or the sexy and then the senile.

1520
01:23:58,580 --> 01:24:01,520
We were brought in to take over the franchise!

1521
01:24:01,540 --> 01:24:05,120
That's right. You guys are like 70 years old!

1522
01:24:09,100 --> 01:24:11,280
I just dragged that one from the subway.

1523
01:24:11,900 --> 01:24:12,920
Oh, my back hurts.

1524
01:24:14,260 --> 01:24:16,880
Guys! Guys! They're already dead.

1525
01:24:16,940 --> 01:24:19,240
Nah! Little fuckers always come back.

1526
01:24:19,280 --> 01:24:21,080
Oh no. Not this time!

1527
01:24:21,320 --> 01:24:23,020
Exactly. Come on, let's go.

1528
01:24:23,260 --> 01:24:24,420
We gotta manage.

1529
01:24:26,380 --> 01:24:29,140
That's my next generation man!

1530
01:24:36,340 --> 01:24:37,480
Oh, bitch!

1531
01:24:49,280 --> 01:24:51,040
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1532
01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:52,170
Do we feel bad?

1533
01:24:52,180 --> 01:24:53,660
I mean, those are our kids.

1534
01:24:53,900 --> 01:24:55,000
Fuck those kids!

1535
01:24:55,540 --> 01:24:57,300
This is our franchise!

1536
01:24:57,780 --> 01:25:01,880
Besides, we get to do all these dramatic walkaways
with the fire in back of us.

1537
01:25:02,220 --> 01:25:03,180
But damn, it's hot.

1538
01:25:03,800 --> 01:25:04,480
I don't know.

1539
01:25:04,980 --> 01:25:06,120
I kinda like it.

1540
01:25:07,240 --> 01:25:08,190
You do, Ray?

1541
01:25:08,200 --> 01:25:09,390
We should play fireman.

1542
01:25:09,400 --> 01:25:11,260
You wanna dress up like a fireman?

1543
01:25:11,420 --> 01:25:13,120
No, I want you to dress up like a fireman.

1544
01:25:14,360 --> 01:25:15,360
Y'all feeling draft.

1545
01:25:50,760 --> 01:25:56,560
Okay, okay. Ambidextrous, both hands need a check
Whole fam need respect More

1546
01:25:56,860 --> 01:26:02,040
bands, nothing less Tax season, cause I got the
plan to collect

1547
01:26:04,260 --> 01:26:09,120
Look at me now We on a whole nother level, my foot
on the pedal, my eyes on the crown

1548
01:26:11,140 --> 01:26:15,960
Look at me now We on a whole nother level Bigger
than ever, we back

1549
01:26:17,380 --> 01:26:23,180
Okay, okay We back Okay, okay Bigger than ever, we
back Wait

1550
01:26:23,340 --> 01:26:27,670
on it, put in pain for it, everyday a day to train
for it We on a whole nother level

1551
01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:30,380
Bigger than ever, we back

1552
01:26:31,740 --> 01:26:37,540
Look at me now We on a whole nother level Look at
me now My foot on the

1553
01:26:37,720 --> 01:26:43,520
pedal, my eyes on the crown We on a whole nother
level Look at me now

1554
01:26:43,620 --> 01:26:48,380
Look at me now Look at me now We on a whole nother
level

1555
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:53,500
Bigger than ever, we back

1556
01:26:55,160 --> 01:27:00,960
Okay, okay We back Okay, okay Bigger than ever, we
back Wait

1557
01:27:01,040 --> 01:27:05,530
on it, put in pain for it, everyday a day to train
for it We on a whole nother level

1558
01:27:05,540 --> 01:27:07,160
Bigger than ever, we back

1559
01:27:08,440 --> 01:27:14,240
Ay, ay, ay We back Ay, ay, ay We back Ay,

1560
01:27:15,440 --> 01:27:20,400
ay, ay We back We on a whole nother level Bigger
than ever,

1561
01:27:24,720 --> 01:27:25,320
we back

1562
01:27:28,440 --> 01:27:34,240
Coming soon to a theater near you Come to me Come,
Frollo From

1563
01:27:35,660 --> 01:27:39,740
the studio that brought you every black version of
a white movie

1564
01:27:41,940 --> 01:27:47,740
I am I am both an appetite I am both an appetite,
nothing That's not what you said last night

1565
01:27:47,940 --> 01:27:50,160
When you were sucking on my chest

1566
01:27:51,660 --> 01:27:57,460
The sisters may hear you Too late You triplets
sell out I don't

1567
01:27:57,600 --> 01:28:03,400
know this bitch, she tried to get me This is a
trapment Negro ain't shit Behold

1568
01:28:03,420 --> 01:28:05,220
the black vampire

1569
01:28:06,700 --> 01:28:11,160
Brosferatu Coming this Kwanzaa

1570
01:28:54,940 --> 01:28:58,020
Coming soon to a theater near you I am both an
appetite, nothing That's not what you said last

1571
01:29:02,400 --> 01:29:03,760
night The sisters may hear you I am

1572
01:29:31,380 --> 01:29:34,420
both an appetite, nothing I am both an appetite,
nothing The sisters may hear you Something isn't
right here

1573
01:29:35,400 --> 01:29:38,620
He's definitely ghost face Sit

1574
01:29:40,020 --> 01:29:45,820
Agri-Burger That hand should spend the rest of its
life in prison That little hand, man, I mean

1575
01:29:46,020 --> 01:29:51,820
Respectfully, that thing Probably give a nice hand
job Off the chain Guaranteed,

1576
01:29:52,140 --> 01:29:57,650
tight grip Making meat look two times bigger I
don't want a hand job from him Let me tell you

1577
01:29:57,660 --> 01:30:02,350
that, first and foremost I do not want a hand job
from him Me neither However, when you look at

1578
01:30:02,360 --> 01:30:03,460
it like a shotgun

1579
01:30:05,240 --> 01:30:05,840
You're done

1580
01:30:06,760 --> 01:30:08,640
Now listen, we're gonna hold him, okay?

1581
01:30:08,780 --> 01:30:13,550
Okay Might be a day, two weeks, I don't know I
don't know how long this movie is Like Chris

1582
01:30:13,560 --> 01:30:18,830
Nolan movie with farts But what I want you to do
is go in there And show him what you

1583
01:30:18,840 --> 01:30:21,620
got Cock it and rock it

1584
01:30:30,120 --> 01:30:34,320
There she is The birthday girl

1585
01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:41,920
I brought a cake Make a wish

1586
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:45,140
My germs

1587
01:30:48,220 --> 01:30:50,160
Finger looking good

1588
01:30:51,820 --> 01:30:57,620
Agent Burger, I'm just trying to give you my
strong hand No But it's a meme Mr.

1589
01:30:58,180 --> 01:31:01,620
Short Hand, are you Ghostface?

1590
01:31:01,920 --> 01:31:07,190
Woo! It stings It's really...

1591
01:31:07,200 --> 01:31:10,860
Okay, that hurts Can I talk to you for a second?

1592
01:31:11,700 --> 01:31:16,300
Okay This table needs an air pack

1593
01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:24,940
I didn't think it would hurt so bad So we got the
wrong guy Could have told you that Why?

1594
01:31:25,940 --> 01:31:29,710
Oh yeah You know it's...

1595
01:31:29,720 --> 01:31:33,160
Oh shit! That's how I feel

1596
01:31:34,420 --> 01:31:36,320
What do we do now?

1597
01:31:37,280 --> 01:31:41,900
Back out slowly Like my neighbor when I caught him
inside my wife Where are you guys going?

1598
01:31:42,520 --> 01:31:43,700
They're still together?

1599
01:31:44,780 --> 01:31:49,700
Unfortunately Sorry, man It's okay, we're a
throuple now

1600
01:32:11,400 --> 01:32:16,980
Quickly You're in trouble I'm sorry I'm sorry

1601
01:35:20,100 --> 01:35:21,400
you