1
00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:04,730
Cynthia, I hate to see you like this.

2
00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:07,010
You have to get on with your life.

3
00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:10,910
Mother, Jeffrey was my life.

4
00:00:12,450 --> 00:00:13,650
Listen to me, darling.

5
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:16,010
You're young and beautiful and strong.

6
00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:17,250
Not like me.

7
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,260
I'm old and feeble and withered and
spread out and saggy.

8
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:23,800
But you have a future.

9
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,240
Scott, Sybil, you left out grizzled.

10
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:28,860
Grizzled, right.

11
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:34,100
I thought after old, feeble, withered,
spread out and saggy, we sort of got the

12
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,100
hang of it.

13
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,980
All right, let's set up to do it again.

14
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:38,720
Oh, I'm sorry, Joan.

15
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:42,240
Oh, please. I know it's not easy playing
my mother.

16
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,580
Especially since we once played sorority
sisters on Barnaby Jones.

17
00:00:47,310 --> 00:00:50,190
You know, in my head, that actually
sounded like the right thing to say.

18
00:00:51,650 --> 00:00:55,690
It's okay. I love it. This is a
character I can really sink my teeth

19
00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:59,170
Speaking of which, where are my teeth?

20
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:05,630
You know, in the past three weeks, I've
played Judith Light's mother, Cheryl

21
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,350
Ladd's mother, and your mother.

22
00:01:08,190 --> 00:01:12,150
It's a nice break from what I was doing
before, which was essentially staring at

23
00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:13,670
the phone and cursing out my agent.

24
00:01:14,730 --> 00:01:16,430
Ladies, please, let's touch them up.

25
00:01:17,550 --> 00:01:19,390
So, are you doing anything for Mother's
Day?

26
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:24,190
Oh, you know, the usual breakfast in
bed, flowers, presents, fancy little

27
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:27,270
dinner. My daughter won't let me lift a
finger the whole day.

28
00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:28,910
You?

29
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,550
Uh, I don't have any kids.

30
00:01:34,070 --> 00:01:36,110
Okay, I do, but I'd rather have yours.

31
00:01:37,610 --> 00:01:40,350
And your mirror.

32
00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:42,990
Oh, come on, Sybil.

33
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,850
A role like this is what Emmys are made
of.

34
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,400
Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you.

35
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:52,020
Sybil, could you slide back a little?
There's a shadow on Joan's face.

36
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:53,240
We think it's your pump.

37
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:58,120
Hey, a little respect here. This woman
is working really hard.

38
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,920
It's okay. This is a lot better than
last movie. On that one, the crew kept

39
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,680
playing keep away with my goiter.

40
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,000
Loving water loves you.

41
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,400
And then taking that bath.

42
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,760
Nice work if you can get it. And if you
get it.

43
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,460
This is when Kevin took William
upstairs.

44
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,560
This is Mom talking about how great it
was to have Meemaw here for Mother's

45
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,500
And this is when she went off on that
weird tangent about mothers and

46
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:34,920
and caring and love.

47
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,440
That wasn't about us. That was about
Joan Van Ark's daughter.

48
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,200
Okay, here we go.

49
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,680
Welcome to Dysfunctional Family Theater.

50
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,180
This is the string bean casserole I made
from scratch.

51
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,260
Here's the one my mother insisted on
making.

52
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,980
Knowing full well I was making the same
thing.

53
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,980
Sybil, I doctored up your sweet potatoes
and now they're ready to eat.

54
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:10,480
Let me do that. It's Mother's Day. You
haven't touched your dinner. No,

55
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,340
sweetheart. You sit down.

56
00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,630
She can help, Mother. You sit down.

57
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,510
I can do it.

58
00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:18,990
She's in a delicate condition.

59
00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:21,910
Come on, Meemaw. She's not sick. She's
pregnant.

60
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,170
I know she is, Zoe.

61
00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:30,450
I also know what is appropriate dinner
table conversation.

62
00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:32,550
You're not right, Zoe.

63
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:36,730
You should have said Rachel is in the
condition a lady gets in after having

64
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:37,730
and lots of sex.

65
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,570
more Kahlua.

66
00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:54,150
Richard, if a dog swallowed William
Satner's hairpiece, can't he just wait

67
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,450
it works its way out naturally?

68
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:00,430
Oh, Bill's hosting a benefit tonight.

69
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:03,590
Well, let him wear the terrier on his
head.

70
00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:07,010
It would look the same.

71
00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:11,830
Well, stop by if you can. Yeah, I love
you too.

72
00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:13,710
There she is.

73
00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:16,029
The soon -to -be blushing bride.

74
00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:18,250
Marianne, show us your ring.

75
00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:24,930
Not that one. The engagement ring
Richard gave you. Oh,

76
00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:26,610
isn't it beautiful?

77
00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:28,010
You're such a dear.

78
00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:30,510
Happy Mother's Day, Ma.

79
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:33,050
Sure I could hold.

80
00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:38,590
You think I didn't realize your people
celebrated Mother's Day?

81
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:45,330
Only for the last hundred years. Before
that, we laid our eggs on the beach and

82
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,330
swam away.

83
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:51,450
Well, you're a good son anyway.

84
00:04:55,610 --> 00:04:59,490
Marianne, I thought your Justin was
going to be here for dinner tonight.

85
00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:05,450
Well, it seems some whale washed up on
shore and Justin decided that a whale

86
00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:07,930
needed him more on Mother's Day than I
did.

87
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:12,800
Perhaps... they'll have dessert with me
if he comes home and finds me face down

88
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:13,800
in the pool.

89
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,020
What am I saying?

90
00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:18,020
Save the whales.

91
00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:20,360
Recycle. Plant a tree.

92
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,380
Attica!

93
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:28,340
Well, let me clear some of these plates
away.

94
00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,060
Sit down, Mother!

95
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:36,280
Sybil, we can't have dessert with the
dinner plate still on the table, can we?

96
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,240
Well, maybe you can.

97
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:28,010
you hate my music so much that you had
to come up with a lame excuse for me to

98
00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:29,009
come downstairs.

99
00:06:29,010 --> 00:06:30,250
I love your music.

100
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,070
I find myself singing it in the shower.

101
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:35,090
Bing, bing, bing.

102
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:50,590
Yeah, well, I was going to Zoe's anyway,
so... Where's my story wand? I have no

103
00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:51,590
idea.

104
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,390
You don't know where it is?

105
00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:55,410
what it is.

106
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:58,930
My Aborigine story wand. It was sitting
right here.

107
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,730
Oh, you mean that stick that was lying
there?

108
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:02,250
I threw it out.

109
00:07:02,650 --> 00:07:03,650
You threw it away?

110
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:08,670
Mom, an Aborigine chieftain gave that to
me when I dug a well for his village.

111
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,630
He said the stick contained his soul.

112
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:13,830
Well, I'm sorry, dear, but you shouldn't
leave other people's souls lying around

113
00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:14,830
the house.

114
00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:17,690
It was one of a kind.

115
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,790
You know, I'm supposed to return it to
him someday.

116
00:07:20,390 --> 00:07:21,410
Now what do I do, huh?

117
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:25,280
snap a leg off the dining room table and
tell my god I'm a new soul at Pier 1?

118
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,580
Pier 1?

119
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,820
That does it. At the wedding, I'm
serving whale.

120
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:46,780
Anyway, ever since Justin moved back
home, we've been fighting constantly.

121
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:48,420
I'm afraid to clean up.

122
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,350
I could be wiping out God knows how many
afterlives.

123
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:55,290
That's exactly why I never vacuum.

124
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,070
It's not just his fault.

125
00:07:58,630 --> 00:08:01,750
I'm afraid the least little mistake on
my part will cause him to run away

126
00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:05,570
So I've been smothering and neurotic and
judgmental.

127
00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,690
Marianne, relax and just be yourself.

128
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:11,010
Aren't you listening? That's what I have
been doing.

129
00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:13,170
It will help me.

130
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:17,550
Well, here's what I did. I had another
child and turned them against each

131
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,260
It's been working for years.

132
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:24,220
I'm afraid my relationship with Justin
is suffering.

133
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,280
And it just got back on track.

134
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,660
Look, it's not easy when our children
move back in. I mean, they're still our

135
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:32,059
children, but they're adults now, and
the old rules don't apply.

136
00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:37,220
I mean, Zoe and Rachel live in my house,
eat my food, use all my stuff, and

137
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,260
never listen to anything I say.

138
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,940
What the hell am I talking about? Of
course the old rules still apply.

139
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:52,290
Mother, Jeffrey was my life.

140
00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:54,070
Listen to me, darling.

141
00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:58,870
You're young and beautiful and strong,
not like me. I'm old and feeble and

142
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:02,410
withered and spread out and saggy and,
yes, grizzled.

143
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,570
But you have a future.

144
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:07,310
You're right, Mother.

145
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,490
What would I ever do without you?

146
00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:14,490
And I love you.

147
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,170
Cut. Good work. Take five.

148
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,600
with Joan Van Orr.

149
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:35,540
My fault, I ask.

150
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:42,740
So tell me, what was it like working
with that handsome John Forsythe?

151
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,180
That was Dynasty.

152
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,220
I was on that landing. Oh, that's right.

153
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,040
The one about the winery.

154
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,220
No, that was Falcon Crest.

155
00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:56,020
I just loved you in that.

156
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:08,340
I should have never brought her on the
set.

157
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:11,000
I should have never told her I moved to
California.

158
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:16,880
You know, Sybil, seeing the two of you
together today, I guess I never noticed

159
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,440
how much you and your mother are alike.

160
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:20,540
Take that back.

161
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,040
I am nothing like my mother.

162
00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:29,700
I worked my entire life to break away
from every aspect of her lifestyle.

163
00:10:33,740 --> 00:10:37,380
I am never... ever going to become
anything remotely like my mother.

164
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,280
Mama?

165
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,060
Oh, no.

166
00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:54,760
This is all your fault.

167
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:56,940
Excuse me?

168
00:10:57,460 --> 00:11:01,740
It's your job as my best friend to stop
me from saying horrible things about

169
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:02,940
people when they can hear them.

170
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,260
darling, but next time I'll read your
mind and gag you with your hump.

171
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,800
This is all I needed. After a whole day
of watching Joan Van Ark play a part, I

172
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,140
could have done 50 times better.

173
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,700
What if Mom does turn out to be like her
mother?

174
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,640
What if it's inescapable?

175
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,360
You know what that means?

176
00:12:00,180 --> 00:12:01,400
You're going to be like Mom.

177
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,500
Shut up!

178
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,080
Yeah, I like your mom.

179
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:07,920
Shut up!

180
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,780
Oh, my God, that was so cool, the way
her eyes rolled into the back of your

181
00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:14,160
heads. Do it again.

182
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,500
Well, it's getting really late. I
haven't played the piano all day. I

183
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,500
should practice.

184
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:20,920
Okay, I'll listen.

185
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,000
Justin, you're only doing this to avoid
going home and dealing with your mother.

186
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,020
Yes, and you should help me with that. I
would do it for you.

187
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,660
You know, this relationship is totally
one -sided.

188
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:34,640
Oh, so now you're picking a fight to
keep from going home.

189
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,440
Exactly.

190
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,360
That's really sad.

191
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,300
But you know what's even sadder? Hmm?

192
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:46,020
My sister's life is so pointless and
pathetic that she's taping us right now.

193
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,060
Fine. Whatever. I don't care.

194
00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:52,380
Thank you.

195
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:53,700
Now turn it off.

196
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:54,960
Okay.

197
00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:58,060
Look, Justin.

198
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:02,540
I know living with your mother is
driving you crazy, but... No, Zoe. She

199
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:03,600
clothes, okay?

200
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,060
She says she wants me to look my best
while cleaning an oiled wet suit.

201
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:10,260
I didn't even know Armani made a wet
suit.

202
00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:13,220
All right, listen. I'll help you out.

203
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:17,200
You go to the bookstore for a couple of
hours, okay? And then come back here and

204
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,039
we'll go to a movie.

205
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:18,999
All right.

206
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,490
But not if I have to... spend all night
listening to you complain about your

207
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:24,590
mother. I haven't gotten to complain
about mine for a week.

208
00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:27,210
Fine.

209
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:29,670
See you, Rachel.

210
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:30,950
Bye.

211
00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:40,350
Where's the remote?

212
00:13:40,990 --> 00:13:42,130
I thought you were going to practice.

213
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,810
No, I have to get these shoes off. My
feet are killing me.

214
00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:46,990
I just said that to get Justin out of
the house.

215
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,810
Why couldn't you take them off in front
of him?

216
00:13:50,499 --> 00:13:54,040
Because my feet are sweaty and I don't
want Justin to know that.

217
00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:57,100
I'm pretty sure he knows you sweat.

218
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,780
Rachel, you're so out of the loop.

219
00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:02,540
See, you're married.

220
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,100
You can look like you look now and not
worry about it.

221
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:10,780
I'm choosing to ignore that comment
because I know you didn't mean for it to

222
00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:13,020
sound as vicious and catty as it did.

223
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,340
Plus...

224
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:16,200
I know, I'm really cute.

225
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,480
Hey, is there any chicken salad left?

226
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,460
When Justin's around, they feel guilty
eating anything that could be slung in a

227
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:24,460
verse of Old MacDonald.

228
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,260
Oh, Rachel, get a lunch.

229
00:14:31,140 --> 00:14:35,120
Are you sure that my seat is on the
aisle?

230
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:40,480
Yes, it is, ma 'am. And would you see to
it that the pilot doesn't announce our

231
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,140
altitude during my nap?

232
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,400
That was really very inconsiderate of
you.

233
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,600
Excuse me.

234
00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:50,700
Hurry up, Mother. There are people
waiting.

235
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:56,240
Sybil, if I'm going to be on a plane for
four hours, I want to be comfortable.

236
00:14:57,380 --> 00:15:00,660
Now, how large is the person sitting
next to me?

237
00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:07,880
Because I paid for a whole seat, and I
don't need anybody spilling over into

238
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,700
Move away from the desk before someone
does something they might regret.

239
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:16,740
See, well, I don't care what these
people think.

240
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,220
I'm talking about me.

241
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:23,300
I certainly are tested today.

242
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:29,420
Is it your time of month?

243
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,300
That would explain a lot.

244
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,100
Oh, please. When I was in the eighth
grade and didn't want to go to Bible

245
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,500
you said it was because of my period.

246
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,460
When I didn't want to wear the prom
dress you picked out for me because of

247
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:45,600
period. Forget it, Mother. I am not
having my period.

248
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,660
No, I'm not.

249
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,100
Oh, Lord, take me now.

250
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,020
Your attention, please.

251
00:15:56,260 --> 00:16:00,100
Flight 320 to Memphis will begin pre
-boarding at this time.

252
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:05,100
Passengers traveling with small children
or requiring special assistance may

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00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:07,020
begin boarding through gate 17.

254
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,560
That's me.

255
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,100
What is that? You don't need a cane.

256
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:17,220
At my age, I've earned the right not to
be treated like cattle.

257
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:20,540
Mama, I know what you're doing.

258
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,180
You're waiting to get the last word.

259
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:26,500
Right before you get on that plane,
you're going to turn around and heave a

260
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,340
giant wad of guilt at me.

261
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,520
Why, dear, I would never do that.

262
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,140
Maybe you would.

263
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:40,030
But as you say, to your great relief,
we're nothing alike.

264
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:41,550
You what?

265
00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:44,550
Sybil, what are you doing?

266
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,570
You are not getting on that airplane
until we talk.

267
00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:52,510
Sybil, you're making me angry. Good. I
want to see what that looks like.

268
00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:54,590
Cut the steel magnolias crap.

269
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:56,750
Let's duke it out.

270
00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,070
Fine. You don't want to be like me?

271
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:04,550
Well, I didn't want to be like me
either.

272
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,660
But my mama didn't give me any choice.

273
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:13,040
A lady doesn't raise her voice,
Virginia.

274
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,520
Or work outside the home, Virginia.

275
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:23,920
Or get a divorce, Virginia. So I stayed
in a miserable marriage

276
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:27,440
until I got lucky and he divorced me.

277
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:32,300
Lucky? You were devastated when Daddy
left you.

278
00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:35,570
My mother was devastated.

279
00:17:37,130 --> 00:17:39,010
I was relieved.

280
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,830
You have a career.

281
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:45,030
You have your freedom.

282
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,450
You have a life.

283
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:51,090
I envy that.

284
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:55,690
But I'm proud of it, too.

285
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:00,070
Do you remember...

286
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:05,140
What I said to you when you wanted to
pursue a modeling career in New York.

287
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:09,380
Yeah, you said if I felt like I had to
do it, then I should do it.

288
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,860
And I always put newspaper on the subway
seats.

289
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:17,540
I let you have your choices, Sybil.

290
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:25,200
And if your daughters turn out half as
good as you did, well,

291
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:29,700
maybe it's because you're just a little
bit like them.

292
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,280
Wow.

293
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,420
That was great, Mama.

294
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:40,120
Next time, let's not wait so long to
fight with each other.

295
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,400
You're right.

296
00:18:43,940 --> 00:18:45,620
I'll call you from the plane.

297
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:49,720
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

298
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,380
Nobody makes your sweet potatoes like
your mother.

299
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,660
Do you believe this?

300
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:10,280
Jessica Lange just signed a three
-picture deal.

301
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:16,100
She gets Liam, Nathan, and Alec Baldwin,
and I get goiters and humps.

302
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,160
Here we go.

303
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:20,720
I could have been in Tootsie.

304
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:22,660
I could have been in Francis.

305
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,200
I could have been in Rob Roy.

306
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:28,460
Okay, I'm done.

307
00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:31,220
Bye -bye.

308
00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:36,669
the sweet potatoes.

309
00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:37,489
Too late.

310
00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,350
You can have Sybil's bean casserole.

311
00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:43,010
Fine, take the Dom Perignon and leave me
with a cold duck.

312
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:48,610
You know, y 'all are real happy to suck
down my cook until my mother comes to

313
00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:52,670
town. And then suddenly I'm like the
cafeteria hairnet lady.

314
00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:56,510
Sybil, I need a favor from you.

315
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,150
It's very important to me.

316
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,530
I don't know. You dissed my casserole.

317
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:06,060
I've decided to kick Justin out of my
house.

318
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,460
Yes, before our relationship is
completely ruined.

319
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,960
Unfortunately, he can't afford rent just
yet. I've offered him money. He won't

320
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:15,499
take it.

321
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,700
And he says it would completely
compromise his integrity to take money

322
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,060
father. He has learned nothing from me.

323
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,820
If only there was someplace he could
stay.

324
00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:37,550
There's the apartment over my garage.

325
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:42,530
You know, the place you already told him
he could have before you came over here

326
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,530
to ask me if he could have it.

327
00:20:46,570 --> 00:20:47,570
That would work.

328
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:53,630
Well, Justin will have to fix it up, and
you'll have to eat a great big old bowl

329
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:54,930
of my bean casserole.

330
00:20:56,870 --> 00:20:58,730
And I'll have to talk to his girlfriend.

331
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,590
What? How would you feel about Justin
moving in over the garage?

332
00:21:04,210 --> 00:21:05,210
Are you serious?

333
00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,680
in this kitchen at 8 o 'clock every
morning. So?

334
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:14,720
Mother, Justin says he likes how I'm not
all wrapped up in my appearance.

335
00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:19,020
Now I'll have to get up at 5 every
morning just to make myself look like I

336
00:21:19,020 --> 00:21:20,020
care how I look.

337
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,160
Thanks a lot.

338
00:21:25,140 --> 00:21:26,260
So is that a yes?

339
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:31,100
Oh my God, I'll have to smuggle
hamburgers into my room.

340
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,420
She's crazy about the idea.