1
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:10,800
Hey, that's you.

2
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:12,940
Nice layout.

3
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:17,560
Yeah, I shot that when I had this awful
stomach bug.

4
00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:18,780
That's rough.

5
00:00:18,980 --> 00:00:24,300
Oh, no, it was great. I lost eight
pounds and landed three jobs.

6
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:27,060
Thank goodness for flu season.

7
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:31,680
Yeah.

8
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,040
But the problem with the flu is it's not
dependable.

9
00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:38,570
Food poisoning's way better.

10
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:43,590
Leave your mayonnaise out on the
windowsill for a few days, and bam,

11
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:44,590
next guest girl.

12
00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:47,410
Huh.

13
00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:50,570
Joke.

14
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:52,630
Oh.

15
00:00:55,610 --> 00:01:00,470
So what do you know about this job?

16
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:04,489
My agent tells me it's a shoe campaign
aimed at women in their 40s.

17
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:10,110
Well, I might have a problem. I am 46,
but my feet play early 30s.

18
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:15,550
Everybody, I'm Miss Murphy. I'm the
account executive. We're running just a

19
00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:18,690
little bit late, so hang loose. We'll be
with you as soon as we can.

20
00:01:18,890 --> 00:01:19,890
No problem.

21
00:01:24,370 --> 00:01:28,050
Well, at least this gives me a chance to
eat. I'm starving.

22
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:29,250
Oh, me too.

23
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:37,330
think you're not going to get it, and
then like clockwork, sometimes you do.

24
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:40,850
Do better.

25
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,710
I'm sorry, darling. How can I help?
Shall I build up your ego? Shall I rip

26
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:49,050
competition to shreds? Or how about a
little of both and a bear claw?

27
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,550
Thank you. I feel so loved.

28
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:56,370
Hey, you picked off the icing. You don't
give a damn about me.

29
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,590
Um, Ira's at the door.

30
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:06,770
I know, but I am not going to let him in
because he's been totally insane since

31
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,110
he stopped drinking coffee.

32
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,830
I'm fine. I'm over the cranky stage.

33
00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:14,230
So let me in, or I swear to God I'll
break this window.

34
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:17,830
I'm sorry. I'm better now.

35
00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:33,410
I just wanted to apologize for calling
you both Java -swilling monkey women.

36
00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:36,870
You never called me that.

37
00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:38,410
Check your machine.

38
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:43,070
Anyway, I'm sorry. It's just this
article I'm writing on caffeine

39
00:03:43,070 --> 00:03:43,849
me on edge.

40
00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:46,910
It's my third day cold turkey. This is
when my espresso machine asked me to

41
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:47,910
dance.

42
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:52,850
No, no, no. Don't be uncomfortable.
Drink your coffee. I'm fine. Here, allow

43
00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:54,330
I don't take cream. I do.

44
00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,330
You are totally Jonesy.

45
00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,980
You're right. Listen, would it be okay
if I went home, got all my coffee stuff

46
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,560
and brought it here so it won't talk to
me anymore?

47
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,360
Of course.

48
00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:07,100
I want to do anything I can to make it
possible for you to go home.

49
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:10,660
Thank you.

50
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,899
Quick, let's call his voicemail and make
noises like a cappuccino machine.

51
00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:28,690
or at the dentist.

52
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:34,930
Maybe this is why I'm not invited to
more parties.

53
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:37,870
Oh, I think that's for me.

54
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:42,030
It's probably Justin.

55
00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,970
Justin's in town? He's coming over to
pick up a house key.

56
00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:05,110
upside down.

57
00:05:09,050 --> 00:05:10,190
Hey, baby.

58
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:12,030
Johnson. How are you?

59
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:13,330
Hi, Mama. How are you doing?

60
00:05:14,370 --> 00:05:15,329
Hey, Jo.

61
00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:17,170
Hey. How was your trip, sweetheart?

62
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:20,730
Oh, it was great. I hooked up with this
really cool biker gang in Portland.

63
00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:22,670
You don't mind if they crash your house,
do you?

64
00:05:25,130 --> 00:05:26,130
I'll get the key.

65
00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:27,650
Make sure he's kidding.

66
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,240
Yeah, ditto.

67
00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:43,480
So, Justin, your mom told me all about
the book you help write on the

68
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,480
environment.

69
00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:46,500
Zoe, Justin wrote a book.

70
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,660
I just did some of the research.

71
00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:51,780
Justin did some research, Zoe.

72
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,840
A friend of mine wrote the book, and he
invited all the research assistants down

73
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:00,840
for the book signing.

74
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,680
I got all the things that you like to
eat.

75
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,140
Tofu, wheatgrass, and fungus.

76
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,540
I even skimmed the pool for dessert.

77
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:14,920
Excellent. Thank you.

78
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,180
Make sure she's kidding.

79
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:19,780
Okay. See you later.

80
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,260
Bye. See you, Justin.

81
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,540
Justin looks great.

82
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,680
Only over 18, had red hair, and stood
about this high.

83
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:33,020
I practically threw myself out and he
didn't even notice me.

84
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,140
So what do you think? Like a crush?

85
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,160
Tuh. Like major crush.

86
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,680
Do you think Justin feels the same way?

87
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,260
Please? He practically threw himself at
her.

88
00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:51,220
Hello?

89
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,560
Oh, hi, Susan.

90
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,980
Can you hold on a minute?

91
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,480
It's my agent about the shoe job.

92
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,940
Her voice doesn't sound like I got it.
Go.

93
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,120
You don't want this job.

94
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,380
Those shoes are vulgar and wrong.

95
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,400
No amount of money is worth that
humiliation.

96
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,480
And when you die, you would be
remembered not for any of the great

97
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:17,460
you played, such as... Well, the point
is you would just be the sad, lonely

98
00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:18,460
lady.

99
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,160
Okay, I'm good.

100
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,480
So, Susan, I got the job?

101
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,040
I got the job?

102
00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,480
You take back everything you said.

103
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:39,540
This is so great.

104
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:42,860
My little girl invited her old man to
hang out in a funky bookstore.

105
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,480
Funky? Dad, remember that talk we had
when I caught you saying far out?

106
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,160
Gee, I'm sorry, honey. I'll try to watch
that.

107
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:52,760
Now it's boogie -oogie -oogie over to
nonfiction.

108
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:02,640
Isn't that Justin? Where?

109
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:03,900
I mean, no.

110
00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:05,340
Shut up.

111
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:11,240
Oh, I get it. I'm here so I can notice
Justin, be surprised, and then bring you

112
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,540
over so you can casually say hello.

113
00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:15,560
Dad, I cannot believe you would even
think that.

114
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,680
But we should say hi, you know, just so
we're not rude.

115
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,400
Shut up.

116
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,860
Say no more. I know exactly what to do.

117
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,000
Okay, how embarrassing could this be,
really?

118
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,640
Yo, Justin, in the house.

119
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:34,839
How you doing?

120
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:39,179
Good, good. Your mom said you'd be here,
so I just stopped on by and I'll drag

121
00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:40,179
Zoe along.

122
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,140
Hey. Hey.

123
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:50,240
Well, I'm going to head over to the
bestseller table, see if Stephen King's

124
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,520
written anything new since we got here.

125
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,920
I'm glad you stopped by.

126
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:02,250
Yeah, I mean, at least you're not
ignoring me like you did yesterday.

127
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:05,370
I ignored you? You barely even glanced
at me.

128
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,250
Oh, really?

129
00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:11,170
Um, blue shirt, black pants, and a black
fossil watch.

130
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:17,750
Okay, well, flannel shirt, fatigues,
gorilla boots, and a silver bracelet.

131
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:22,670
Hey, why don't we go grab a latte over
at the coffee counter, all right?

132
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:24,910
Coffee counter?

133
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:28,530
Who had the triple espresso?

134
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:29,750
Me! That's mine!

135
00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:31,010
Back off, ladies.

136
00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:40,150
If loving you is wrong, I don't want to
be right.

137
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:43,890
Dad, what are you doing?

138
00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:48,570
It's not what you think. I bought this
for you. Here, take it.

139
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:49,950
Quickly.

140
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:56,110
My brain's telling my fingers to let go,
but they won't.

141
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,279
This is nothing.

142
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,200
You should see my mom hang on to a
chicken wing.

143
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,860
We're here with bitter divorcee Marianne
Thorpe.

144
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:14,580
We're replacing one of her overpriced
designer pumps with this fabulous high

145
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:15,580
from Foot First.

146
00:10:16,260 --> 00:10:17,700
As you can see, there's no comparison.

147
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,860
Come on, get up, walk around, try the
shoes. You'll never want to go back.

148
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:32,880
It is dumb.

149
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:40,320
See? You've worn high heels so long,
you've turned into weird, freaky tiptoe

150
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,320
woman.

151
00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:06,210
if my wardrobe would attack them like
sharks on a bleeding swimmer.

152
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:10,510
You know, I am way more open -minded
than you.

153
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:16,450
I think high heels can be very sexy as
long as I'm lying down and they're

154
00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:17,450
pointing at the ceiling.

155
00:11:19,390 --> 00:11:22,170
Oh, I almost forgot. We have to go see
my billboard.

156
00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:23,249
Is it up already?

157
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,510
Yes, it's in Hollywood.

158
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,870
It's a big one right above the celebrity
methadone clinic.

159
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:31,730
Very prestigious.

160
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:35,130
Oh, look at that.

161
00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:37,170
Had a good time today?

162
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:41,350
What?

163
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:43,370
It's just amazing.

164
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:49,810
I mean, you used to be this strange,
intense little girl, and now you're not

165
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:50,810
that.

166
00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:53,630
Well, thanks.

167
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:56,390
Neither are you.

168
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,460
I mean, not that you ever were strange
or intense.

169
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:04,340
Or a little girl.

170
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,440
I don't know what I'm talking about.

171
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,180
We'll have the wedding at my house.

172
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:23,320
We'll have to. You're not setting foot
in mine in those shoes.

173
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,120
Oh, dear, look at that hooker. We're
wearing the same skirt.

174
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,240
He must be freezing.

175
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:46,800
Oh!

176
00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:48,060
It's me!

177
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,760
There I am! There I am!

178
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:52,980
Wow.

179
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:05,300
Did they do something different to

180
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,300
your hair?

181
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,640
Not really.

182
00:13:08,860 --> 00:13:10,460
Does my head look big to you?

183
00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:13,360
Wait a minute.

184
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,860
My head's fine.

185
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:16,940
It's on the wrong body.

186
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,220
Where's my leg?

187
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,640
Where's my breath?

188
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,260
Where's my butt?

189
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,400
Looks like somebody let all the air out
of me.

190
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,340
Crying out loud.

191
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,160
Give that woman a cheeseburger!

192
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,540
Are you sure she's coming in? Miss
Murphy said she'd be back after lunch.

193
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,360
that was two bags of Doritos and one bag
of pork rinds ago.

194
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,100
How long am I supposed to put off my
lunch?

195
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:53,440
I saw the billboard.

196
00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:56,260
Why did you hire me if you weren't going
to use my body?

197
00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:59,100
You told me I was what you were looking
for.

198
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,360
Oh, but you are.

199
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:04,770
When we saw your picture in Fashion
Nightmares in the Hollywood Globe, all

200
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:08,330
decked out in your black evening gown
and day -glow orange high tops, we

201
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:11,930
thought, now there's a woman who says, I
don't care what anyone thinks.

202
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:15,390
You're perfect for her, Sybil. Would you
shave off a few pounds?

203
00:14:15,970 --> 00:14:18,430
Why? You think only skinny people buy
shoes?

204
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:23,170
No, but people will buy these shoes
because they want to look like the woman

205
00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:23,969
the billboard.

206
00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:24,970
She doesn't exist.

207
00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:27,210
She's my hat on a stick.

208
00:14:28,030 --> 00:14:29,530
You can't get off that, can you?

209
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,680
46 years. It hasn't fallen off once.

210
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000
You see?

211
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,480
There's that quirky, funky attitude that
made us pick you in the first place.

212
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,460
Simple buzz off would have been fine.

213
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,499
Okay, lady.

214
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,660
I took the high road.

215
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,480
Now it's time for the low road.

216
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,180
Hello, Marianne?

217
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:44,060
cheating on her. Now she's got to deal
with Justin and that other woman.

218
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,380
She already knows.

219
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:52,600
I was all prepared to lecture Justin,
but he'd already told Zoe he's been

220
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,600
Kira.

221
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,400
Kira!

222
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,380
You just know her name was Debbie.

223
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:04,480
Before she got all macro -biotic and
stopped shaving her own...

224
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:10,680
Time to think.

225
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,060
How about that, Sybil? They're behaving
like adults.

226
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:15,760
Why shouldn't they with role models like
us?

227
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,590
I know that, but it makes a difference
to me.

228
00:17:00,870 --> 00:17:03,390
It'll make a difference to every woman
that sees this billboard.

229
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:04,690
It's a lie.

230
00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:06,530
Just like my first magazine cover.

231
00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:10,569
I remember when I saw it, I thought,
wow, I look fantastic.

232
00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:14,510
But the next morning when I looked in
the mirror, I thought, what happened to

233
00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:15,589
me? Why do I look so terrible?

234
00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:19,869
Oh, please, I have seen you in the
morning. You might as well have

235
00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:22,750
your shoulders and little mice making
you a dress for the ball.

236
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,400
My magazine cover was all retouched.
Nobody could look that good.

237
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:37,640
And now my face on this billboard is
telling women that they can't be

238
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,640
in their forties.

239
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,260
then. If anyone needs me, I'll be up my
nose.

240
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,680
Justin just told me he's not going to
see Kira anymore.

241
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,120
Then what's the problem? The problem is,
how do I know if he's doing it because

242
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,920
you told him to or because he wants to?

243
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:37,560
Zoe, please! He never listens to
anything I say, just like you don't

244
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,560
your mother.

245
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:40,260
I'll listen to you this time.

246
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:44,380
You had no right to talk to him,
Marianne. This is between Justin and me.

247
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:47,720
true! He needed to do the right thing
and let you know what was going on.

248
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:50,550
His father.

249
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:23,320
to something else. Now either get off my
billboard or slap some bounds on my

250
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,320
ass.

251
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,060
Now.

252
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,520
I'll give her a mustache.

253
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:34,800
You can black out her teeth.

254
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:15,510
told you i don't want to go out with her
anymore you're only breaking up with

255
00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:18,970
her because your mommy told you to now
if you're gonna date me rule number one

256
00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:24,130
is we don't listen to our mothers got it
i don't listen to my mother i never

257
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:28,910
have i broke up with kira because i like
you better so get off my back okay fine

258
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:31,490
fine i'll pick you up at eight okay

259
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,400
can't prove a thing.

260
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,880
I have witnesses to corroborate my
whereabouts.

261
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,960
I corroborate.

262
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:23,820
Okay, drop me. I don't want to be a part
of your oppressive campaign anyway. And

263
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:24,820
one more thing.

264
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,800
Can you send me another pair of those
red high tops?

265
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:32,520
Well, I guess she's getting right on
that.