1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,296 -I think you do. 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,589 But it also has creatine. 3 00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,299 And 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,428 Well, yeah, I do, but I also want liver function. 5 00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,805 Well, don't call me crying from your plateau. 6 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,057 Stop pretending that you know about this stuff. 7 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:18,310 Lena: When we first got divorced, we weren't nearly this chummy, 8 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,603 but time had passed. 9 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:20,980 Okay, hot oven! 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,982 Martin: Things have become chill. 11 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,859 Mmm, cinnamon! Nice touch, Mom! 12 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:28,237 We were both thankful, and so was the rest of the family. 13 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,364 Because even though we were no longer together... 14 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,492 It just made sense for us to do things together. 15 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,995 Football time for me, guys. I will clean up later. 16 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,663 I promise. I promise. 17 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,833 Which made every day feel like Christmas morning. 18 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,877 We need to get batteries for that. 19 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:46,213 Anybody want anything? -I'll have a mimosa. 20 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,757 Kids, school! 21 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,050 And by the time spring rolled around... 22 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,761 We were total buds. 23 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,638 It was hard to believe, but we'd recovered from... 24 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,849 I am done! I am done with this group. 25 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,851 That fight changed us. 26 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,269 You deserve someone who... 27 00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,855 I realized I wasn't ready to be dating. 28 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:05,608 And I realized I was. 29 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:10,070 ♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪ 30 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,072 Lisa? 31 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,365 -Oh, hey! -Hey. 32 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,159 Martin, right? You're Milo's dad. 33 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,161 Amongst other things. 34 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,871 Such as? 35 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,706 Lover of romaine. 36 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:21,874 It is a great lettuce. 37 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,375 Yes. 38 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,796 ♪ Nothing seems to matter ♪ 39 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:27,922 ♪ My whole world... ♪ 40 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,673 Why are they playing this song? 41 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:30,800 I don't know. 42 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,219 I feel weirdly emotional. 43 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,095 Oh. Well, here. 44 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,347 Oh! 45 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,933 So, how's Milo? 46 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,893 Uh, oh, good. He's -- He's good. He, uh -- 47 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,853 Going into second grade, so he made it. 48 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,064 I always felt bad I couldn't help more with his issue. 49 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,233 Oh, what with the peeing in the flower bed thing? 50 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,109 Oh, he stopped that on his own months ago. 51 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,861 Kid's got a bright future. 52 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,697 No, I meant the whole "serial-killer" handwriting. 53 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,616 Oh, right. Yeah. That. 54 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,743 I kept telling your wife his penmanship 55 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,119 was totally age-appropriate. 56 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,746 Well, I kept telling her we're all gonna be 57 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,248 speaking Mandarin soon, right? 58 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,292 So, who cares? -Apparently she did. 59 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,920 She did. 60 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,089 So, you've been good? 61 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,715 Me? Very! 62 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,425 Very good. 63 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,552 Not that good. 64 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,720 No, Lena and I s-separated. 65 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,764 Actually, we divorced, 66 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:22,142 and we're living together still for now, 67 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,144 but divorcedly so. 68 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,521 That's not a word. 69 00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,982 I ramble when I -- when I get nervous. 70 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,359 I'm -- I'm divorced. 71 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:31,944 Okay. 72 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,779 Well, my number's still good. 73 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,281 Give me a call if you ever feel 74 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,949 like getting brunch or something. 75 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,535 Oh, yeah! I always feel like getting brunch or something. 76 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,120 I -- But I never, ever do. 77 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,539 Maybe you should change that. 78 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:49,628 Ugh. Was that Lisa Apple? 79 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,797 God, we hated her. 80 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,382 Did we? 81 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:56,552 Yeah. Remember those big, fake glasses she used to wear? 82 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,178 Ugh, and she was so "holier than thou." 83 00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,680 She was always giving us kid advice 84 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,140 even though she doesn't have kids. 85 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,558 Well, she is a tutor. 86 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,643 What does that mean? She's not a very good tutor. 87 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,145 How much money did we pay her for Milo 88 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,147 to still write like the Zodiac Killer? 89 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,483 Hm, I didn't realize how strongly we felt about her. 90 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,569 Well, we did. 91 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,654 Thank God she's not in our lives anymore. 92 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,657 Yeah. Thank God. 93 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:23,996 ♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪ 94 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:27,166 ♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪ 95 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,502 ♪ Through this heaviness I feel ♪ 96 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:36,800 ♪ I just need someone to say everything's okay ♪ 97 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,929 ♪ Everything's okay ♪ 98 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,139 Hey, Mom. I signed you up for the bake sale at school, 99 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,141 and it has to be something good. 100 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,392 So, dig deep. 101 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,810 Oh, can I pitch you some ideas? 102 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,228 Go. 103 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,772 What about one of those rainbow 104 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,357 No, Eric's mom is already doing that. 105 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,691 It's all over her Pinterest. 106 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,568 You follow Eric's mom on Pinterest? 107 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,528 She has great boards. 108 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,865 Oh! How about this -- I reinvent a classic. 109 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,992 I like where this is going. 110 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,370 Sea-salt dusted brondie. 111 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,955 -Brondie. 112 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,207 I-Is that even a word or did you just coin that? 113 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,708 Oh, my gosh. I think I just coined that. 114 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,169 And the Nobel Prize for brondies goes to... 115 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,801 A lot of homework? 116 00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,595 Just an English paper on female role models 117 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,347 called "Nevertheless." 118 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,265 We have to complete the phrase 119 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,726 by writing something remarkable our female role model has done. 120 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,187 Oh, well, if you need to interview me, 121 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:31,355 I'm available. 122 00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,690 I chose Maya. 123 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:33,941 Maya Angelou? 124 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,193 Aunt Maya. She's a trailblazer. 125 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,903 Uh, what has she ever blazed 126 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,447 besides those weed cigarettes for her "anxiety." 127 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,199 It's more about what she doesn't do, 128 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,617 which is conform to the antiquated 129 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,703 cis-gender norms of patriarchal society. 130 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,204 Okay, if this is an English paper, 131 00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,289 you should start by speaking English. 132 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,709 She decided to have a kid on her own. 133 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,085 We should celebrate that. 134 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,546 Celebrate her decision to have baby? 135 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,922 She hasn't even done it yet. 136 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,967 I've been boots on the ground for 15 years! 137 00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:01,760 Yeah, but, Mom, it's 2018, 138 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,054 and you still get giddy about bake sales 139 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,807 and stocking the pantry with apple juice. 140 00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,476 I'm sorry, but you're part of the problem. 141 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,936 I'm part of the problem? 142 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,688 You don't wanna shatter the glass ceiling. 143 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,816 You want to clean it with Windex. 144 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,109 Okay. 145 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,987 First of all, I make my own window cleaner 146 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,573 with a combination of white distilled vinegar 147 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,158 and freshly squeezed lemon juice, 148 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,201 and the fresh lemon juice is the most important part! 149 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:30,039 Okay, listen, we're gonna finish this conversation later! 150 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,878 Oh, man! Look at all these people having brunch. 151 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,421 Is brunch funny? 152 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,882 It is to me. I haven't had brunch in 15 years. 153 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,925 -You must be starving. -I am. 154 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,594 Oh, thank you. 155 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,554 Thank you. 156 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,680 Uh-oh. 157 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,432 Something wrong? 158 00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:51,769 You ordered pico on the side. That is pico on the top. 159 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,479 Oh, no biggie. 160 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,731 Huh 161 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,441 You don't wanna send it back? 162 00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,984 Or make me send it back 163 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,195 so the waiter doesn't hate you for sending it back? 164 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,072 'Cause I will. I-I can get her over here. 165 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,532 No. All ends up in the same place. 166 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,535 ♪♪ 167 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,705 It -- It does end up in the same place. 168 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:13,874 That's exactly right! 169 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,418 Were you in a long-term marriage or an underground bunker? 170 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,088 I am starting to wonder. 171 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,758 And I'm seeing the world through... 172 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,301 brand-new eyes. 173 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,720 You are? 174 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:33,811 I'm noticing things that I've never noticed before. 175 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,188 Me 176 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,273 I am noticing the hell out of you. 177 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:43,320 ♪♪ 178 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,613 Is this okay? 179 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,116 I'll tell you in a second. 180 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:50,452 ♪♪ 181 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:54,289 ♪♪ 182 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,416 Yep, it is. 183 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,960 Were you wearing those glasses 184 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,504 when I saw you the other day at the market? 185 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:02,840 I'm sure I was. They're my glasses. 186 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,008 Yeah. They're your glasses. 187 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,594 Come on. 188 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,849 Wow! 189 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:16,353 Look at all this stuff. Dad really saved everything. 190 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:20,649 Including Mom. She looks great, though. 191 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:21,942 Can I have her? 192 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,989 She always hated physical affection. 193 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,992 -Yeah. -Sorry, Mom. 194 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,536 Yes, every awkward phase of your lives 195 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,330 has been lovingly preserved. 196 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,000 You're welcome, girls. 197 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,127 What are we even looking for here? 198 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,503 I don't know. 199 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,338 Something that proves that before I was a mom 200 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,675 and just momming all the time, that I was a female role model. 201 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:49,261 -Oh, look! 202 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,638 My old Girl Scout sash! I got every badge. 203 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,224 Uh, that's my Halloween costume from college. 204 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,310 These are joke badges. 205 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,395 See? This one's for binge drinking. 206 00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,230 I earned a lot of those sophomore year. 207 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:03,233 Okay, fine. So I'm not a role model. 208 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,527 Not a Michelle or a Malala or an Amal 209 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,988 or a Hillary or an Oprah or even a Gayle. 210 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,823 If Mae did a report on me, 211 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:13,952 it'd probably be titled "Nevertheless, she did dishes." 212 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,246 Uh, I think you're being a little hard on yourself. 213 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,123 Well, that's easy for you to say. 214 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:22,878 She picked you. Mae is doing her essay on you. 215 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,465 Really? Wow, I don't even like Mae. 216 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,091 Ditto. 217 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,594 I'm just kidding. She's wonderfully acerbic. 218 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,429 I mean, could they be less grateful? 219 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:35,682 Come on. All kids are rotten. You know that. Especially girls. 220 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,768 Besides, Mae is wrong about you. 221 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,103 As I recall, you had a great deal of gumption. 222 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,855 -Gumption! -Sure. 223 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,440 You were early to join the workforce. 224 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,150 Uh-huh. You in high school. 225 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,528 Didn't you work in that mailbox store? 226 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,280 It was a FedEx Kinkos. 227 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,116 And I'm the only employee who survived the merger. 228 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,451 There you go! 229 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,161 Well, my daughter doesn't look up to me. 230 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,915 In fact, she looks down on me. Why? Because I take care of her. 231 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,668 So, tonight, I'm gonna teach her a lesson. 232 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,341 Big date alert! My buddy's getting laid tonight. 233 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,426 First time in two years. -Hot damn. 234 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,303 Hey. Can you not tell people that? 235 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:16,848 Come on, man. Don't worry. It's a code of silence in here. 236 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,310 So, what did Lena say about you going out with Lisa Apple? 237 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,853 I didn't tell her. 238 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,730 Martin, you and Lena are in a good place right now. 239 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,357 What are you -- She didn't tell me who she was dating. 240 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,150 Lena has history with this woman. 241 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,070 She finds out that you're doing stuff behind her back, 242 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,822 there will be blood. 243 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,907 Full disclosure is the key to all healthy relationships. 244 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:36,243 Yeah. What do you think, A 245 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:39,329 -Let me run it by Camille. -You got it. 246 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,541 And that is how it's done. 247 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,629 Hey, baby. Cy's gonna send you a photo of my new haircut. 248 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,964 Approve please. 249 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,343 Hey, gang. 250 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,721 So, I'm out. 251 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,514 -I'm out. 252 00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,391 I feel like too much of my identity 253 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,976 is wrapped in being a mom, 254 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,978 so I'm gon' go get turnt. 255 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,439 That's hilarious. 256 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,149 Mae, how do I look? 257 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,526 Like someone who wants to regarded as a sexual object 258 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,278 rather than a three-dimensional person. 259 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,699 Oh, you are so second wave sometimes, Mae. 260 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,869 Hey. What about my bake sale tomorrow 261 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,496 The recipe and ingredients are on the kitchen counter. 262 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,707 You're 14 and almost 16. 263 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,375 I had a job when I was your age. 264 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,420 So, I heard. She worked in a mailbox store. 265 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,590 Hey! It was a FedEx Kinkos. 266 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,925 And I survived the merger! 267 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,304 ♪♪ 268 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,764 Derek: So, where we going tonight? 269 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,557 Actually I just need you to drive around the block 270 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,060 for like an hour so that my kids think I'm out on the town. 271 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,561 They You -- You -- 272 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,064 You all dressed up to not go out on the town? 273 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,482 What's up with that? 274 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,233 My daughter thinks I'm a bad role model. 275 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,319 Look, you need to stop worrying about Little Mama 276 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:55,030 and start worrying about Big Mama. Big Mama? 277 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,616 Look, you looking all good. You better go and hit that club. 278 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,534 And I ain't talking about no Sam's. 279 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,162 -Are you talking about -- -The club club. 280 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,581 The clurb. 281 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,707 Huh. 282 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,918 The clurb. 283 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,505 Yeah, I don't think Big Mama can do that. 284 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,217 Can Big Mama? 285 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,721 It's getting kinda dark. Why's it getting so dark? 286 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:22,224 Because that's what happens when the sun goes down. 287 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,684 Why is nobody taking care of me? 288 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,686 Who's there? 289 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,064 What was that? 290 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,649 Milo, stop rolling around for a second. 291 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,194 Milo isn't here. 292 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,571 Tell me you heard that. 293 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,989 Okay. 294 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,950 Since I am the oldest and least stupid, 295 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,743 everyone follow me. 296 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,703 -Somewhere safe. 297 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,542 Everybody in. 298 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,920 This will be our panic room until Mom gets home. 299 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,714 Good call. If we get hungry, we can eat Mom's insoles. 300 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,801 And if we get bored, we can journey into the dark web. 301 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,306 ♪ Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol ♪ 302 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,724 ♪ Blame it on the vodka ♪ 303 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,476 ♪ Blame it on the Henny ♪ 304 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,812 ♪ Blame it on the blue tap, got you feeling dizzy ♪ 305 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,606 ♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ♪ 306 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,317 ♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ♪ 307 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,154 Hey, this place is pretty lit! 308 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,655 We're not really open yet. 309 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,199 Still, it's pretty lit. 310 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,371 Oh, my God. I love this song! 311 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,581 Turn it up! Turn it up! 312 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,584 ♪♪ 313 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,961 ♪ On the floors of Tokyo ♪ 314 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,839 ♪ or down in London Town to go, go ♪ 315 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:38,800 ♪ With the record selection and the mirror's reflection ♪ 316 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,219 ♪ I'm dancing with myself ♪ 317 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:44,014 ♪ When there's no one else in sight ♪ 318 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,683 ♪ In the crowded lonely night ♪ 319 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:49,519 ♪ Well, I wait so long for my love vibration ♪ 320 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,522 ♪ And I'm dancing with myself, oh, oh ♪ 321 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,192 ♪ Dancing with myself, oh, oh ♪ 322 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,569 ♪ Dancing with myself ♪ 323 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,237 ♪ Well, there's nothing to prove ♪ 324 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,574 ♪ And there's nothing to lose ♪ 325 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:06,036 God, what am I doing here? 326 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:09,372 Zoey: Hello 327 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,373 Can you hear me? 328 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,708 Yes. 329 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,878 I drank too much and it's your fault. 330 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,379 My fault? 331 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,216 Because you were rude to me! 332 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,884 -I -- Yes, you were! 333 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:24,304 Tell me the truth. Do you want to break up with me? 334 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,555 Do you? 335 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,140 Hold on a sec. 336 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,021 -Oh, God. 337 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,363 Hold on, honey. Come on. Hold on. I'm coming in. 338 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,744 Heey. Hi. 339 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:50,580 Oh, God. 340 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,915 Hi. 341 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:55,126 Hi. Okay. 342 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,587 Ooh, wow. 343 00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,340 How are you this drunk at 6:45? 344 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,425 I don't think he loves me. 345 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,053 Oh, oh, it's okay. 346 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,305 No, it isn't! I love him. 347 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,100 Like, I'm in love with him. 348 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,309 I need his kisses. 349 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,310 No, you don't. 350 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,478 I need kisses. 351 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,938 No, you don't. 352 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,439 -I needed kisses. -Stop. Stop saying "kisses". 353 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,066 I need kisses. 354 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:21,736 Listen. What you need is a wet wipe, some Advil, 355 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,655 and a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash. 356 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,575 Oh, my God. That purse has everything. 357 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:27,617 It's magical. 358 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,412 Okay. You're magical. You are. 359 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:34,124 Yeah, and it's time that you embrace that, okay? 360 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:38,169 If we are going to give away the best parts of ourselves, 361 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,965 then it better to someone who deserves it. 362 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,467 Alright? Because you're great. 363 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,760 I'm great. 364 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,013 Here. 365 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:51,057 You have a little ranch on your dress. 366 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,559 God, I hope it's ranch. 367 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,356 I bet you'd be a really great mom. 368 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,858 You know what? 369 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,110 I am a great mom. 370 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:09,326 Oh, come -- you're going to be okay. 371 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,745 Things are going to be okay. 372 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,913 They are, you know? 373 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,167 Hello? 374 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,421 Oh, my God. 375 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,636 Did you hear that? Did you hear that, Mae? 376 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:28,970 Yes, I did. 377 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,139 -Stranger danger! -Please don't kill us! 378 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,186 How did you know we were in here? 379 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,687 Milo texted me. 380 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:40,190 Are you here to help me with my homework? 381 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:43,068 ♪♪ 382 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,367 Okay, so, what happened to Mom? 383 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,451 She just went AWOL. 384 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,370 She didn't go AWOL! 385 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:57,332 Why are you yelling? You don't even know what "AWOL" means. 386 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,376 I'd like to believe our mother has embarked 387 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,544 on a spiritual journey to discover who she is 388 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,297 outside of the label she uses to define herself. 389 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,007 On the eve of my bake sale. 390 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,051 Okay, stop talking, all of you. 391 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,552 I hope you little rats know 392 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,429 that the only reason anything ever good happens 393 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,264 in this house is because of your mother. 394 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,183 Every birthday, every Christmas. 395 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,560 If it were up to me, you would all live unfed 396 00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,230 and unclothed in the yard. 397 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,398 Now do your homework. 398 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,440 I did my homework. 399 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,068 Can you make dinner? 400 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,737 Hey, don't ask her. She's not here for you. 401 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,406 She's here for me. 402 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,573 Gross. 403 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,036 I will make dinner. 404 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,872 Hey, can you also make brondies for my bake sale? 405 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,833 -Yeah. 406 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:40,917 Lisa: Martin. 407 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:46,047 Bake sale? This is going to be a disaster. 408 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,509 The only baking I do is directly after waking. 409 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,719 I'm not a baker. 410 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,804 Lucky for you, this little lady is. 411 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,889 -No, not me. Her. 412 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,434 Grandma Flour's Bakery is only 1.3 miles away. 413 00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:03,314 They have 160 five-star reviews and their specialty is brownies. 414 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,775 I don't know. Lena always bakes from scratch. 415 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,861 Why make things harder than they have to be? 416 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,071 ♪♪ 417 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:14,284 "Why make things harder than they have to be?" 418 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,494 Kids, I'm going 1.3 miles. 419 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,246 You guys going to be okay for a minute? 420 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,247 We'll be fine. 421 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,248 Uh, keys. 422 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,958 Oh, there. 423 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,920 ♪♪ 424 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,213 I want to kiss you right now, 425 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,631 but I can't because of these kids. 426 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,259 ♪♪ 427 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,181 Lisa: You're so funny. 428 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,057 Oh, hello. 429 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,392 Hi, Lena. 430 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,436 -Lisa Apple's here. -Dad invited her. 431 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,229 Oh! 432 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,939 Lisa, Lisa. 433 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,275 And the Cult Jam. 434 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:50,236 You're looking very scholarly tonight. 435 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:53,573 Uh, I didn't realize that Martin had hired you 436 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,534 to help with the kids, so what do we owe you? 437 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,704 ♪♪ 438 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,333 ♪♪ 439 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:07,504 What'd we say -- we said $13? 440 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,339 -Yep. -One, two, $12. 441 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,757 It was $12. 442 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,842 ♪♪ 443 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,260 Lena, where the hell were you? 444 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,679 I was trying to teach Mae a lesson. 445 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,015 And I do think those kids are ready for more responsibility. 446 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,433 I mean, when I was their age, I... 447 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,644 Both: 448 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,521 We know. 449 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:27,857 But I agree, those kids should be fending for themselves. 450 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:30,443 And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Lisa Apple. 451 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,695 I didn't want you to know that Lisa was a thing 452 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,197 until I knew that Lisa was a thing. 453 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:35,573 And I certainly didn't want to bring her 454 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,950 around the kids that early. 455 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,577 It's okay. It's Lisa Apple. 456 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,330 You get to be with someone young and fun. 457 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,375 And I get to find out why she wears those ridiculous glasses. 458 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,961 I'm really glad that we can have this conversation 459 00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,254 without fighting. 460 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,256 Me, too. We're good. 461 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,299 We are good. 462 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,760 Okay, well, we're gonna -- we're gonna get going. 463 00:18:55,802 --> 00:19:00,056 We? Oh, Lisa Apple and you. 464 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:01,516 Right. 465 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,357 Mae: Mom? 466 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,277 Mae? 467 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,570 You okay? 468 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,655 No. 469 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:23,413 I'm a bad feminist and daughter, too. 470 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:27,000 What? Why would you say that? 471 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,043 I mom-shamed you, 472 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,963 which isn't at all in the spirit of the movement. 473 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,007 Oh, it's okay, sweetie. 474 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,801 No, it isn't. 475 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,013 And although I want you to break free 476 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:42,098 of the domestic chains that bind you... 477 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,058 Nothing is binding me. 478 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,729 No one is binding me, okay? 479 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,064 I chose to do things this way. 480 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,776 Work part-time so that I can be home with you kids. 481 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,070 And I think I'm doing a pretty good job 482 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,239 because look at how cool you turned out. 483 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,992 I know an entire cheerleading squad that would beg to differ. 484 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411 Who cares about the cheerleading squad? 485 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,456 It's the band geeks who are going to be running the world. 486 00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:09,125 The band geeks hate me, too. 487 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:12,670 Sorry I acted like being a mom wasn't important. 488 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,590 I really didn't like how it felt when you weren't home tonight. 489 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:21,387 Because, nevertheless... 490 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,681 she makes everyone feel safe. 491 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:30,647 Wait, why would the band geeks hate you? 492 00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,274 I licked the clarinet player's reed. 493 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:36,945 ♪♪ 494 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:44,702 Wow. 495 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,329 Yeah. 496 00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,456 That was worth more than 12 bucks. 497 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,041 Gee, thanks. 498 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,669 No, I'm serious. You could go pro. 499 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,338 Your pillow talk could use some work. 500 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,674 Ugh, I'm sorry. 501 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,595 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... 502 00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:07,517 for what happened at our house with Lena and the kids. 503 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:10,353 I know that's not what either of us had in mind. 504 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,854 Oh, what are you going to do? 505 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,439 It is what it is. 506 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,360 "It is what it is". 507 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,737 I love this woman's outlook! 508 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:23,992 ♪♪ 509 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:26,035 ♪♪