1 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:19,853 I have spent the last month here at Dwight's lovely farm. 2 00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,271 Taking a little bit of a vacation, 3 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:24,607 clearing my head after Jan and I-- 4 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:25,942 (mimicking gunfire) 5 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,154 No, I did not kill her. 6 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,364 We were just at different places in our lives. 7 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,241 So, I thought I'd be the bigger man 8 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,076 and allow her to stay at the condo. 9 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,411 She has since moved on. 10 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:39,205 She is staying with her sister in Scottsdale. 11 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,666 Fresh outlook and it's all good. 12 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,001 Okay, so look that over. 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,336 Make sure it's accurate. 14 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,004 - What is this? - Your bill. 15 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,423 Minus the 10% Dunder Mifflin corporate discount. 16 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,384 You were charging me? 17 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,719 I'm your friend. 18 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,846 - You occupied the America room for six weeks. 19 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,348 That's our most popular room. 20 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,892 - There was no other guests the entire time I was here. 21 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,644 - Right, because you were in the America room 22 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,605 in an election year. 23 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:04,397 Okay. 24 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,525 All right, Dwight, take my money, go ahead. 25 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,819 Keep in mind that this whole thing 26 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,529 was just a business transaction. 27 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:16,409 The late nights, the talks, slumber parties, 28 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,371 the crying jags, that was all business. 29 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,750 That had nothing to do with friendship and being friends. 30 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,086 Just ring me up. 31 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:28,922 Go ahead. 32 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,591 (paper tearing) 33 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,516 Thank you, Dwight. 34 00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,645 - We don't take debit cards anyway. 35 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,106 - Dwight, a little help with the bags, please? 36 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:48,692 (upbeat music) 37 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,340 (brakes squealing) 38 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,134 - W.B. Jones is renovating their offices. 39 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:15,593 And their construction crews are taking up 40 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,762 some of the parking spaces we used to get. 41 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,724 {\an8}- So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there. 42 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:23,351 {\an8}- Which just means we get to see more of our lovely street. 43 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,103 {\an8}Tell them what we saw today, Jim. 44 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,439 {\an8}- Oh, today, we saw a junkyard dog 45 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,108 {\an8}attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken. 46 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,651 {\an8}Nature. 47 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,361 {\an8}Been here nine years. 48 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,031 {\an8}Now, all of a sudden, I'm supposed to park half a mile away? 49 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,158 {\an8}- I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar. 50 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,577 I will quit. 51 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:45,248 As God is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed. 52 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,375 {\an8}- Some of us make the walk more than others. 53 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,710 {\an8}[Brian] Hurts like hell. 54 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,679 {\an8}Morning, Stanley. 55 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,015 {\an8}(loudly groaning) 56 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,559 (door closing) 57 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,022 Did you pick a new chair? 58 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,315 {\an8}It's been awhile. 59 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,942 {\an8}- Pam, when I first opened this catalog, 60 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,487 {\an8}I thought I was just going to be picking out a chair. 61 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,280 {\an8}- But instead, you found something to distract you 62 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,990 {\an8}from ever picking out a chair. 63 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,242 {\an8}Michael started the process of selecting a new chair 64 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,869 {\an8}about three weeks ago. 65 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:23,828 {\an8}And normally, I wouldn't care, 66 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,663 {\an8}but he promised me as old one. 67 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,873 {\an8}It's way better. 68 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,375 {\an8}It's one of these (blowing air). 69 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:30,710 I really want it. 70 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,673 Have you ever seen this woman? 71 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,924 Her? 72 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,258 The one in the really great, mesh, 73 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,177 black, high-back swivel chair? 74 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,845 Look at her smile. 75 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,180 Those eyes, look at her eyes. 76 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,350 She's got, I don't know what it is exactly. 77 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,853 She dresses like a professional and yet, you know, 78 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:53,024 there is a side of her that could just curl up on a couch. 79 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,401 Or in a great chair. 80 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,069 Oh, yeah, maybe. 81 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:59,572 But remember after my dinner party, 82 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,075 when I said that I was swearing off women? 83 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,702 - I definitely remember your dinner party. 84 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,370 - I think what I meant was that I am 85 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,249 completely swearing off one woman, Jan. 86 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,504 I think that fate put this catalog in my hands. 87 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,339 - Actually, I put the catalog in your hand 88 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,882 'cause you have to pick out a new chair. 89 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,843 What is it like being single? 90 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,386 I like it. 91 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:26,307 I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. 92 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,601 And I'm optimistic. 93 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:32,397 Because every day, I get a little more desperate. 94 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,400 And desperate situations yield the quickest results. 95 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,901 Ladies and gentlemen, would you please 96 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,280 open your supply catalogs and kindly turn to page 85. 97 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,117 (phone ringing) 98 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,285 Yo. 99 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,327 Is this his new chair? 100 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,829 No, he hasn't picked one yet. 101 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,080 God. 102 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,166 When Pam gets Michael's old chair, 103 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,584 I get Pam's old chair. 104 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,253 Then I'll have two chairs. 105 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,339 Only one to go. 106 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,966 - I am ready to start dating again. 107 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,593 I'm getting back on the market. 108 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:05,430 So, FYI, for those of you who are thinking about 109 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,558 fixing me up with any of your friends, 110 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:13,438 use the woman on page 85 as a template. 111 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,647 That will be all. 112 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,281 (pen landing) 113 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,908 - I left my cell phone in my car. 114 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,912 - Call us when you get there so we know you're okay. 115 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:33,958 (machine whirring) 116 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,336 (phone ringing) 117 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,630 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 118 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,090 What? 119 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:40,924 I'm sorry? 120 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,385 I'm sorry. 121 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,970 Can you turn that down, please, Kevin? 122 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,181 It only has one speed. 123 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,808 Hey, Kev-bo. 124 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:50,684 Wow. 125 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,812 Look at those feet. 126 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,355 Listen, man. 127 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,107 I am completely over Jan. 128 00:05:57,148 --> 00:06:00,527 So, would you set me up? 129 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,570 - If I had somebody to set you up with, Michael, 130 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,240 then I'd take her for myself. 131 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,366 I thought you were engaged. 132 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,868 Nope, Stacy broke up with me. 133 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,121 What? 134 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,415 God, that's terrible, man. 135 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,084 She's crazy. 136 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,504 Are you still on good terms with any of her friends? 137 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,839 Not anymore. 138 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,923 It's a bitter situation. 139 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,886 - Oh, she's, you don't deserve her. 140 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:28,888 All right. 141 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,935 Love, marriage, baby carriage. 142 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,691 Those have been my goals ever since I heard that song. 143 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,694 Jan and I had love. 144 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,822 We did not have marriage. 145 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,867 We did have a baby carriage, which I got her 146 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,828 for bringing groceries home after she got a DUI. 147 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,248 Hi, Michael. 148 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,207 Hey, Kelly. 149 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,250 Ew, what are you doing here? 150 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,209 Nothing. 151 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,421 Just hangin', chillin'. 152 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,716 No agenda. 153 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,094 Would you consider hooking me up with one of your friends? 154 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,721 Oh, all my friends are crazy. 155 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,431 My one friend, Brianna, oh, my god. 156 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,016 (both laughing) 157 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,059 That's hilarious. 158 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,852 What's her number? 159 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:16,811 She's 23. 160 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,815 Mm, that's too young. 161 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,984 - Actually, I know a ton of people 162 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,527 that I can set you up with. 163 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,489 Some of my friend's parents, they're getting divorced now. 164 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,074 So I think some of those, like, older ladies, 165 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,618 they're really looking for a guy to go on a date with. 166 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,328 So what about you, Angela? 167 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:36,748 Do you have any single friends? 168 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,749 I don't. 169 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,793 Cute, little, religious type. 170 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,753 Someone who wears a uniform, or-- 171 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,213 A Catholic school girl? 172 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:47,050 - (snorting) No, obviously older. 173 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:47,884 A nun? 174 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:51,930 Okay. 175 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,559 Oh, hello, Oscar Meyer Wiener lover. 176 00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,897 I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal, 177 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,609 girl-type friends who trust you implicitly 178 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,111 because they know you'd never touch them 179 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,071 because of your condition. 180 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,573 You know, like, you're just hanging out with them 181 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,784 and they're gossiping with you. 182 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,578 And they're walking around in front of you 183 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,666 in their panties and bras and (sighing). 184 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,380 - Man, I want your life. - Thank you. 185 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,298 - Michael? - What? 186 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,800 I have a friend who's single. 187 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,635 - Oh. - Sandy. 188 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,845 She's gorgeous. 189 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,806 And she's got a feisty personality, too. 190 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,558 Hm, feisty. 191 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,810 So she's not jolly or sassy? 192 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,895 Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer? 193 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,231 - No, she's a professional softball player. 194 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,108 Oo. 195 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,651 Catcher or infield? 196 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,486 I don't know, Michael. 197 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,698 - Is she a dress-wearer or a pants-wearer? 198 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,075 Could we share a rowboat? 199 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,161 Could a rowboat support her? 200 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,495 What are you asking? 201 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,497 - I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. 202 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,668 Would an average-size rowboat support her without capsizing? 203 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,215 It bothers me that you're not answering the question. 204 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,634 - No, all right, no, she can't fit in a rowboat. 205 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,179 - Dammit, I knew it, I knew it, Phyllis, okay. 206 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,347 What is wrong with these people? 207 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,057 I would do anything for them. 208 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,017 And they're just hanging me out to dry. 209 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,186 Dating shouldn't be hard for somebody like me. 210 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,062 But it is. 211 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,313 And you know why? 212 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:26,232 Because nobody here is willing to help me. 213 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,652 Nothing would ever get done in this office 214 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,488 without a formal request, would it? 215 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,782 Well, fine, here goes. 216 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,325 - I don't think that this is-- 217 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,577 - Now, okay. I know that this is probably not appropriate. 218 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,246 But I need help. 219 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,711 Because I want to play ball with my kids 220 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,088 before I get too old. 221 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,175 And before that happens, I need to get laid. 222 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,722 And before that happens, I need to be in love. 223 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,140 And I don't want to hear, I don't know, 224 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,558 I can't help, I don't know. 225 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,852 No, no, I'm a catch. 226 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,563 And I am not going to be the one who got away. 227 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,400 So this is what we're going to do. 228 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,735 Dwight is going to handout index cards. 229 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,238 And I want you all to write down the name 230 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:17,033 of an eligible woman for me to date by the end of the day. 231 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,871 No, by the end of the hour, or you are fired. 232 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,750 Write legibly, people. 233 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:29,921 There is nobody I hate enough 234 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,173 to write her name on this card. 235 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:35,468 - Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend anyway. 236 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,470 He can just deal with it. 237 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:38,513 Who are you putting down? 238 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,015 Oh, you don't know her? 239 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,850 - Who is it? - Your mom. 240 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,309 (chuckling) Yeah, whatever. 241 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,855 Give that to me, give that to me. 242 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,314 - Stanley, if you could just pass this over. 243 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,983 No. 244 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:54,904 - Hi, Angela Martin, full-time accountant, part-time pimp. 245 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:59,909 - Forcing your employees to set you up 246 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:03,455 is not a technical violation of any Dunder Mifflin rule. 247 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,584 But neither is forcing them to help you 248 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,878 with a shot-by-shot remake of Indiana Jones. 249 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,173 How do you make a rule book like that? 250 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,216 - Because of the construction at W.B. Jones, 251 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,636 half of us have to park in the satellite lot. 252 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,596 It's, like, a 10-minute walk. 253 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,139 No, 30. 254 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,767 - Well, look, I have an assigned parking place in front, so. 255 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,395 All right, all right, all right. 256 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,563 Let me try to think about 257 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,231 what it would be like to not have one. 258 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,241 Okay, yes, that would be bad. 259 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,409 - Yes. - Yes. 260 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,870 - That would be bad. - Okay, so, help us out? 261 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,622 Wish I could, but I can't. 262 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,916 Well, can, but won't. 263 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,959 Should, maybe, but shorn't. 264 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,419 Michael, please. 265 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,880 - What part of shorn't don't you understand, Kevin? 266 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,091 Look, I could probably handle it, yes. 267 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,176 But I think it would be a good exercise 268 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,761 for you guys to do it yourselves. 269 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,012 We won't let you down. 270 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,305 - You can't because I don't care. 271 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,933 Listen, don't forget to fill out those cards. 272 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,936 My love cards. 273 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,022 - Michael and my sister might hit it off. 274 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,357 Thanksgivings with Michael. 275 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,487 (card tearing) 276 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,033 - I put down the number to a sex addict hotline. 277 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,285 - All right, time's up, pencils down. 278 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,455 Please, pass your future Mrs. Michael Scott's forward. 279 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,665 I'm just gonna write down 280 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,375 the number of my boss at corporate. 281 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,420 It's gonna save me a lot of paperwork 282 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,797 if I don't have to act as the middleman on this one. 283 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:40,260 And, you know, they should hear it from him. 284 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,595 Pammy. 285 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:43,805 I don't have anybody. 286 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,265 - You don't have one single girlfriend? 287 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,517 No. 288 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,643 - I'm not looking for a perfect 10 here. 289 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,061 Just somebody to hang out with. 290 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,272 Just fun, healthy, young woman. 291 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,440 Sorry. 292 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,483 I think, deep down, Michael's a good person. 293 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,901 You just forget sometimes. 294 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,155 Like, whenever he says or does something. 295 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,656 I know what the problem is. 296 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,325 They are used to seeing me with a hot girl on my arm. 297 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,245 They're thinking, oh, he's successful, he's handsome. 298 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,581 Not gonna have any trouble finding a woman. 299 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,168 Well, that's what I thought. 300 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,503 A kindergarten teacher who is great with kids. 301 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,088 Maybe an ex-model. 302 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,341 And now she wants to do something with a brain. 303 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,592 No, I don't. 304 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:24,012 - How about a professional volleyball player 305 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,222 who models on the side? 306 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,975 You know, just a fun, look, here, 307 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,894 it doesn't have to be a model. 308 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,437 Don't rule out model. 309 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,272 But just in terms of models, 310 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,608 there are like 20 different categories. 311 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:41,154 There's face models, hand models, body models. 312 00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,072 Yes. 313 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,782 I actually know a sex model. 314 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,909 - Really? - Yep, yeah. 315 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:46,826 She's blind. 316 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,119 Is that a problem? 317 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,331 - No, it's all about the personality, Jim. 318 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,207 Okay. 319 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,792 Are you talking about Beverly? 320 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,834 Yes. 321 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:55,794 Because she's not a sex model. 322 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:56,878 She's the toll booth operator. 323 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:57,921 Oh, yeah. 324 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,091 Send me a picture. 325 00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:03,343 So far, these are my leads. 326 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,762 A blind toll booth operator and a 1,200 pound catcher. 327 00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:08,515 (cards tapping) 328 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,349 It's a start. 329 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,729 - Hey, Phyllis, what you knitting, a bedspread? 330 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,272 A sweater for Bob. 331 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:21,569 Well, he's gonna love it. 332 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,321 You're a knitress of the night. 333 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,493 Speaking of Bob, we have a favorite ask. 334 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,037 - We would like for him to call W.B. Jones 335 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,957 and tell him to give us our parking spaces back. 336 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,334 - Oh, Bob doesn't let me talk to him about business. 337 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,753 Why don't you just talk to Jones directly? 338 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,046 We tried. 339 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,507 His secretary won't let us see him. 340 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:46,011 Dammit, we're hitting brick walls everywhere we turn. 341 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,681 - What are we supposed to do now? 342 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:53,101 - Well, I think that there's only one card left to play. 343 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:56,146 We need a business park meeting. 344 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,440 Five families? 345 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:06,031 - Okay, Wendy, hot and juicy red head. 346 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:08,241 We'll give this a try. 347 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,454 (numbers dialing) 348 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:15,623 (line ringing) 349 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,752 - Wendy's. - Hello, Wendy. 350 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,129 This is Kevin's friend, Michael. 351 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,757 - This isn't Wendy. - Oh, I'm sorry. 352 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,091 Could you put her on, please? 353 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,344 - [Worker] Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant. 354 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,305 Dammit, Kevin. 355 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:34,100 Okay, um, could I just have a frosty 356 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,727 and a baked potato, please? 357 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,270 - [Worker] You have to come to the restaurant to order food. 358 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,480 - Well, I'll send somebody to pick it up. 359 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,066 - Just have it ready. - It's ready now. 360 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,275 Well, put it aside. 361 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,906 Thank you, Kevin. 362 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,033 Jenny, no description. 363 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:50,992 867-5309. 364 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,620 (line ringing) 365 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:00,835 [Man] Hello? 366 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,213 Ah, yes, is Jenny there? 367 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,756 [Man] Very funny, man. 368 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,049 It's hilarious. 369 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,260 - Overly protective older brother? 370 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,012 - Okay, I have collected the rest of the ladies. 371 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,263 Good, good. 372 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,683 Because this batch was awful. 373 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:15,850 Part of my job is to make sure 374 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,144 the boss is sexually satisfied. 375 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,771 I'm not embarrassed about that. 376 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:20,563 I'm proud of it. 377 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,108 Meredith, extension 106. 378 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,609 - Who wrote that? - Meredith. 379 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,027 Oh, okay. 380 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,320 That's sweet. 381 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,532 This one says chair model. 382 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,033 I wrote that. 383 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,411 Michael, you shouldn't have to settle. 384 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,205 This is my pledge to you. 385 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,542 I will find her and I will bring her to you. 386 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,753 And as God is my witness, she shall bear your fruit. 387 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,633 That sounds good. 388 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:49,467 Go get her. 389 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,803 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 390 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,222 First, go to Wendy's, get my food, come back and then go. 391 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,226 That is fantastic. 392 00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,978 Thank you, thank you very much. 393 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,272 This is just what I needed. 394 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,732 The furniture company gave me the name 395 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,233 of the advertising agency. 396 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,985 They gave me the name of the photographer. 397 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,611 The photographer, a Spaniard, 398 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,322 used a Wilkes-Barre modeling agency. 399 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,200 The agency gave me the following information. 400 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,120 Deborah Shoshlefski, 142 South Windsor Lane. 401 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,705 Dead, car accident. 402 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:19,622 Case closed. 403 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,042 She's dead? 404 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,084 (loud squelching) 405 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,377 But she's so young. 406 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,380 - She was so young and now she is dead. 407 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:30,592 As dead as every dead animal who has ever died. 408 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,552 Oh, god. 409 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,099 - Why don't you sit down, Michael? 410 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,309 (loudly sighing) 411 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,185 Come on. 412 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:42,854 There we go. 413 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,196 - Michael, you didn't even know her. 414 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,823 Try not to be so hurtful, Jim. 415 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:54,866 - Jim, how dare you? - Please, 416 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,826 not at a time like this. 417 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:01,790 (loudly sighing) 418 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,792 Okay, Michael, you know what? 419 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,127 I might have someone for you. 420 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,004 - Oh, really, what's her name, Burger King? 421 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:09,214 No, I mean it. 422 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,967 She's really nice and sweet. 423 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,887 And you guys might actually get along. 424 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,015 - I don't, I don't think I'm ready. 425 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:19,849 Is she hot? 426 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,019 - I'm setting Michael up with my landlady. 427 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,562 She's really sweet. 428 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,650 And whatever, I just can't take Michael like this. 429 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:29,526 No question about it. 430 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,528 I am ready to get hurt again. 431 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,823 - We need to assemble the five families. 432 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,199 No, not the five families. 433 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,450 We have to. 434 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,953 The five families are the five companies 435 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,830 of Scranton business park. 436 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,707 The bosses rarely meet. 437 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,168 {\an8}There's Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. 438 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,671 {\an8}Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. 439 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:52,882 {\an8}Paul Faust of Disaster Kits Limited. 440 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:54,843 They call him cool guy Paul. 441 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:58,680 W.B. Jones of W.B. Jones Heating and Air. 442 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,348 Grade-A badass. 443 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,184 {\an8}And Bill Cress of Cress Tool and Dye. 444 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,354 {\an8}Bill Cress is super old and really mean. 445 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,565 - Kevin, I don't have time for this right now. 446 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,609 I'm trying to get a date with Pam's hot friend. 447 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,486 And she needs to meet me right now. 448 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,242 - I'm calling the meeting anyway. 449 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,704 Thank you very much. 450 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,916 Our suspect has straight, brown hair. 451 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,919 She is wearing blue jeans and a black top. 452 00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:34,257 So, behold, our bachelorette. 453 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,551 Give her a 10 for looks 454 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,304 and a three for her ability to describe herself. 455 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:41,598 Hello, my lady. 456 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:47,771 Michael? 457 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,315 Oh. 458 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,649 Are you Michael Scott? 459 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,569 Sorry, Michael what? 460 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,987 Oh, I'm sorry. 461 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,073 I'm supposed to be meeting someone named Michael. 462 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,783 - Oh, that's not, yeah-- - Michael? 463 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:02,827 Michael? 464 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,956 Large hot chocolate with caramel and a shot of peppermint. 465 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:17,967 - So you get the rent checks every month 466 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:21,805 and what happens next? 467 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,639 What? 468 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,936 - You're asking me what I do with the checks 469 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,354 that people write to me. 470 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:32,315 Just making conversation. 471 00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:33,858 Why is it so hard to meet people? 472 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:41,032 All I want is somebody nice and sweet. 473 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:46,037 And someone I can talk to and share an experience with. 474 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,080 You know? 475 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,750 Why is it so hard for people like us? 476 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,503 I don't know. 477 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,426 - You want to see what I walked out on? 478 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,094 This is going to blow your mind. 479 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:01,845 Look at that. 480 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,348 - She's beautiful. - Yeah, yeah. 481 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,058 And you can't see your whole body. 482 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,852 Down here, she has a boob job. 483 00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:14,482 She was just crazy smart and really manipulative. 484 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,943 - And I don't know. - Michael? 485 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,738 Hello, Michael? 486 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,785 - I'm gonna head out. - Oh, okay. 487 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:30,540 Well, I enjoyed this conversation. 488 00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:31,916 It was very nice. 489 00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:37,422 It was like talking to the sweet, old lady on the bus. 490 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,219 That's incredibly rude. 491 00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:44,137 Now you ruined it. 492 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:50,185 - Hey, you okay? - I'm scared. 493 00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,561 Look, relax, okay? 494 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,563 I grew up in corporate circles. 495 00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:55,690 It was my entire social life. 496 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,901 - So, let me take the lead. - Okay. 497 00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,236 And we're gonna be fine. 498 00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:02,072 - But sometimes you come off like a bit of a jackass. 499 00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:04,783 - So can you just not do that? - Yeah, sure. 500 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,327 Can I handle this? 501 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:08,953 Well, let's take a looksie. 502 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,789 Born and bred in Simsbury, Connecticut. 503 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,457 By the time I was 22, I'd graduated 504 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:15,126 from an Ivy League college, Cornell. 505 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,295 By the time I was 31, I was regional director 506 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,255 in charge of sales at Dunder Mifflin Stanford. 507 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:23,134 So yeah, pretty sure I can handle this. 508 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,553 Where's Scott? 509 00:22:25,595 --> 00:22:26,971 - Michael Scott could not make it today 510 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,432 due to an unforeseen prior engagement. 511 00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:30,475 - Let's just meet back in an hour. 512 00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:31,643 Gentlemen, please. 513 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,063 We called this meeting. 514 00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:40,485 Andrew Bernard is the name of me. 515 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:43,029 And this is my associate, Mr. Kevin Malone. 516 00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:45,281 Things. 517 00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:46,533 All right, what do you want? 518 00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:47,826 Well, first of all, 519 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,994 I'd just like to say what an honor it is 520 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,247 to be sitting here with you gentlemen. 521 00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,415 - You have about 10 seconds-- 522 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:55,500 - We want our parking spaces back. 523 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,710 Whose parking spaces? 524 00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:59,337 W.B. Jones' construction guys 525 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,631 park in our parking spaces every morning. 526 00:23:01,673 --> 00:23:04,884 And some people have to park really far away 527 00:23:04,926 --> 00:23:06,970 and walk all the way to the office. 528 00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:10,223 And some people sweat too much for comfort. 529 00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:11,599 My god. 530 00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:12,976 - I don't have time for this, guys. 531 00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,686 Just give them back their spaces. 532 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:17,480 - Okay. - We good? 533 00:23:17,522 --> 00:23:18,690 Okay. 534 00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,525 Could have done this over email. 535 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:29,784 - After Stacy left, things did not go well for awhile. 536 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:31,911 And it was hard to see. 537 00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:37,208 It's just nice to win one. 538 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:41,671 (door opening) 539 00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:43,340 - Margaret, the landlady, really, Pam? 540 00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:45,008 Is that what you think of me? 541 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,469 She's sweet and cute. 542 00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:48,511 I thought you'd get along. 543 00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:50,013 Oh, okay. 544 00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:53,850 Well, I'm looking for passionate affair, not companionship. 545 00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:58,855 I'm a man of intensity, of cool and youth and passionately. 546 00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:03,568 God. 547 00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:11,242 - Margaret? - I know. 548 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:13,870 - You just got yourself kicked out of your apartment. 549 00:24:13,912 --> 00:24:15,663 (both chuckling) 550 00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,040 Oh, I don't care. 551 00:24:17,082 --> 00:24:18,333 I didn't really like that place that much anyway. 552 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:19,918 I'll just move. 553 00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:20,710 Oh, really? 554 00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:22,128 Who's gonna take you in? 555 00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:25,715 You're messy, you're a klutz, you spill everything 556 00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:29,386 and you leave the volume on the TV way too loud. 557 00:24:29,427 --> 00:24:31,012 Yeah. 558 00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:32,472 Maybe I'll just move in with my boyfriend. 559 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:34,224 'Cause he's kind of a slob, too. 560 00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:37,852 Okay, sure, let's do it. 561 00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:41,272 - (chuckling) No, I, well, I'm not gonna, 562 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:44,943 I'm not gonna move in with anyone unless I'm engaged. 563 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:48,947 - Have I not proposed to you yet? 564 00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:50,949 I don't know, no. 565 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:54,285 Oh, well, that's coming. 566 00:24:55,662 --> 00:24:57,414 Oh, right now. 567 00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:58,915 - No, I'm not gonna do it right here. 568 00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:00,208 That would be rather lame. 569 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:02,210 Okay, so then when? 570 00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:04,796 Pam, I'm not gonna tell you, 571 00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,257 I hate to break it to you, but that's not how that works. 572 00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:08,550 Oh, right, yeah. 573 00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:10,427 Wait, I'm serious. 574 00:25:10,468 --> 00:25:11,928 - It's happening. - Okay. 575 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:15,348 - And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beasley. 576 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:19,436 So stay sharp. 577 00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:20,311 I've been warned. 578 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:25,942 I am not kidding. 579 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:34,242 Got it a week after we started dating. 580 00:25:36,536 --> 00:25:38,288 I don't know, man. 581 00:25:38,329 --> 00:25:39,998 I was with Jan for so long. 582 00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:43,793 I was excited about meeting somebody new. 583 00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:45,795 Put my heart out there. 584 00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:46,796 Just (sighing). 585 00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:53,845 You know what you need? 586 00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:54,679 Closure. 587 00:25:56,056 --> 00:25:56,848 You're right. 588 00:25:59,184 --> 00:26:00,185 What do you mean though? 589 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:02,645 There was a woman in your life 590 00:26:02,687 --> 00:26:04,814 who affected you very deeply. 591 00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:06,941 And she left before you could say goodbye. 592 00:26:08,026 --> 00:26:09,736 I think you need to say goodbye. 593 00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:13,448 Hm. 594 00:26:13,490 --> 00:26:15,283 Come on, I'll drive. 595 00:26:16,910 --> 00:26:18,036 - We did it. - I did it. 596 00:26:18,078 --> 00:26:20,455 We got our spaces back. 597 00:26:20,497 --> 00:26:21,289 Wow. 598 00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,042 Nice job. 599 00:26:24,084 --> 00:26:26,294 - Yeah, nice. - Yeah, there it is. 600 00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,128 You're welcome. 601 00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:29,381 Am I a hero? 602 00:26:32,342 --> 00:26:34,761 That would be so pretentious for me to sit here and say, 603 00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:36,971 yes, I am a hero. 604 00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:40,684 I happened to have done a very heroic thing. 605 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:44,062 But, you know, at the end of the day 606 00:26:44,104 --> 00:26:45,897 I just did what any hero would do. 607 00:26:49,150 --> 00:26:50,026 - So. - Yeah? 608 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:54,322 - I basically charmed their Jockeys off. 609 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:57,242 (quietly chuckling) 610 00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:03,164 - Angela, you've got a little bit of emotion on your face. 611 00:27:04,249 --> 00:27:05,417 There, you got it. 612 00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,253 Did I do this for me? 613 00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:09,587 No. 614 00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:13,591 I did this for the little guy, for Joe six pack. 615 00:27:13,633 --> 00:27:14,718 The guy who wakes up every morning 616 00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:16,469 in his $400-a-month apartment, 617 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:19,931 wonders how he's gonna pay his mortgage that month. 618 00:27:19,973 --> 00:27:23,059 Wonders how he's going to fill his car up with oil. 619 00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:26,896 Wonders, how am I gonna pay my kid's orphanage bills? 620 00:27:26,938 --> 00:27:31,943 That guy shouldn't have to wonder where he's gonna park. 621 00:27:49,627 --> 00:27:50,462 How did she die? 622 00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:54,716 I guess you could say she died 623 00:27:54,758 --> 00:27:59,679 of blunt force trauma and blood loss. 624 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:00,930 She got in a car accident 625 00:28:00,972 --> 00:28:02,766 and plowed into the side of an airplane hanger. 626 00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:06,144 God, she was so innocent. 627 00:28:06,186 --> 00:28:07,812 She was stoned, apparently. 628 00:28:10,315 --> 00:28:12,442 - You know, I used to think that I had 629 00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:15,111 this perfect person out there waiting for me. 630 00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:17,405 But now, I know that that's just silly. 631 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:19,407 Because she's dead. 632 00:28:21,826 --> 00:28:22,827 What do you do? 633 00:28:24,537 --> 00:28:26,998 - You wait until next year's chair catalog comes out 634 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,084 and you find someone who's still alive. 635 00:28:30,168 --> 00:28:31,503 - And you move on. - Yeah. 636 00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:34,297 - Where do you want to go for dinner? 637 00:28:34,339 --> 00:28:35,632 I don't know. 638 00:28:35,674 --> 00:28:37,092 I kind of hate all our regular places right now. 639 00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:40,720 Oh, you know what? 640 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:41,554 That one... 641 00:28:44,516 --> 00:28:45,266 Hey, Pam. 642 00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,313 Will you wait for me one second while I tie my shoe? 643 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:53,858 - I hate you. - What? 644 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,318 My shoe was untied. 645 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,569 What is your problem? 646 00:28:57,779 --> 00:28:59,489 Oh, my god, you thought I was, 647 00:28:59,531 --> 00:29:00,949 oh, no, no, no. Oh, oh. 648 00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:02,075 How could I have thought that? 649 00:29:02,117 --> 00:29:03,785 How could I have thought that? 650 00:29:10,542 --> 00:29:15,505 * Bye bye, Miss Chair Model Lady * 651 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,134 * I dreamt that we were married * 652 00:29:19,175 --> 00:29:23,471 * And you treated me nice * 653 00:29:23,513 --> 00:29:27,267 * We had lots of kids * 654 00:29:27,308 --> 00:29:31,062 * Drinking whiskey and rye * 655 00:29:31,104 --> 00:29:36,109 * But why'd you have to go off and die * 656 00:29:37,193 --> 00:29:41,489 * Why'd you have to go off and die * 657 00:29:42,657 --> 00:29:47,203 * Oh, you believe in rock in roll * 658 00:29:47,245 --> 00:29:51,207 * Can music save your mortal soul * 659 00:29:51,249 --> 00:29:56,254 * And then you have to dance real slow * 660 00:29:57,547 --> 00:30:00,633 * Well, I know that you're in love with him * 661 00:30:00,675 --> 00:30:04,471 * 'Cause I saw you dancing in the gym * 662 00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:07,349 * They both turned off their shoes * 663 00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:11,770 * No more rhythm and blues was returned * 664 00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:14,981 * Rhythm and blues * 665 00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:19,194 * This will be the day that I died * 666 00:30:21,654 --> 00:30:24,282 (upbeat music)