1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:01,399 . 2 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:01,865 [upbeat music] 3 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,144 - So we're--we're not sure if it's the same raccoon, 4 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:10,444 or a cousin, or just a brand-new raccoon... 5 00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,778 Does anyone have any questions about the raccoon? 6 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,383 Jonah. 7 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,045 - Yeah, I have a question about the layoffs. 8 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,254 all: Yes! 9 00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,385 - Whoa, wait. There's layoffs? 10 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,589 When did this happen? 11 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,520 - We found out at Cheyenne's wedding. 12 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,255 So when are your testicles gonna drop so you'll tell us-- 13 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,161 - Hold up! Follow up question... 14 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,263 Why wasn't I invited to your wedding? 15 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,055 - We were keeping it small. 16 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,397 - It was nice, though. - Thanks. 17 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,531 - Who are you? 18 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,165 - Alisha. I started last week. 19 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:34,541 - Oh! 20 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,168 - Glenn, why don't you just tell everybody 21 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,544 who's getting laid off. 22 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,271 - Yeah, we want to know now. - I don't know. 23 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,277 But--but I have until the end of the day to decide. 24 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:45,179 So in the meantime, a few words about firework safety. 25 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,483 - No one cares about firework safety! 26 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,224 - Exactly! 27 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,649 - Glenn, it's not fair to make everyone wait 28 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,523 until the end of the day. 29 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,422 - Okay, I'll--I'll tell you as soon as I decide, but... 30 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,526 in the meantime, let's just try and forget it, 31 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,428 and have a nice, normal day. 32 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,300 - [chuckles] - No, in fact, 33 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,199 let's have the best day ever! 34 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:06,301 Okay? 'Cause for six of you, it's gonna be your last. 35 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:09,304 [upbeat music] 36 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,167 * 37 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,105 - The longer you drag out this decision, 38 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,641 the worse it's gonna be for everyone. 39 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,105 - I know, it's-- 40 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,845 I love all these people. 41 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,279 - Hey... 42 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,224 you just take all the time you need, okay? 43 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,450 - I haven't slept since yesterday 44 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,324 - No! - Yeah. 45 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,223 - I can't even eat. - [gasps] 46 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,655 - Do either of you want some of Jerusha's banana bread? 47 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,130 'Cause I can't finish my morning loaf. 48 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,560 - No, thank you. - I would love some. 49 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,125 Oh, oh! 50 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,574 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 51 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,668 - Look, Glenn, if you really care about these people, 52 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,670 then don't make them wait all day without knowing. 53 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,472 Just rip off the Band-Aid. 54 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,474 - Is that cinnamon I'm tasting? 55 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,566 - Taco mix. 56 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,337 - Huh. 57 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,476 Mmm. 58 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,480 - Amy, it's so hard. 59 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,252 I mean, how do I fire six associates? 60 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,352 - Wait! 61 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:56,483 Six associates? 62 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,647 This doesn't affect management? 63 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,415 - Oh, no, no. You guys are fine. 64 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:07,503 - It's just another example of corporate green run amok. 65 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,358 You know? The fat cats 66 00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,497 keep filling their coffers-- 67 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,272 - [yawns] - Tired? 68 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,501 - Bored. 69 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,696 - You're not-- 70 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,607 worried about any of this? 71 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,709 - I just don't get worked up about most stuff. 72 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,711 - I wish I was more like you. 73 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,613 Last night, I accidently told Amy she was sexy, 74 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,617 and was up half the night kicking myself for it. 75 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,290 - [chuckles] But why? 76 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,189 Why would you do that? 77 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,421 - I don't know, why-- [stammers] 78 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,685 I had a few drinks. 79 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,593 You're not making me feel better about this. 80 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,325 - Oh, I'm not trying to make you feel better about this. 81 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,590 What you did was crazy. 82 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,298 That's something a crazy person would do. 83 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,530 - [stammers] What do I-- 84 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,204 Should I tell her I didn't mean it? 85 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,404 - Definitely. Please. 86 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,535 Just make sure I'm there... 87 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,739 when you walk up to Amy and say, 88 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,470 "Hey, you're not sexy." 89 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,405 Why would you use that word? - I don't know! 90 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,711 Lots of people use the word sexy. 91 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,483 - Oh, yeah, sure. 92 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,551 Tons of people like hilarious, gay teenagers, 93 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,550 Gloria Estefan, cartoon skunks... 94 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,382 that's about it. 95 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,347 - I don't know, I feel like I hear sexy all the time. 96 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,316 - All of us... 97 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,655 are vulnerable. 98 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,759 Okay? That's why we, as Asians, 99 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,431 need to form an alliance. 100 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,330 If one of us gets fired, we all walk. 101 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,573 - Walk where? 102 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,338 - No, if we stick together, then they can't fire all of us. 103 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,769 Right? Are we all in? 104 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,444 Asian Alliance? 105 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,443 - Technically, I'm Native Hawaiian, 106 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:30,435 so can we say Asian/Polynesian? 107 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,678 - Ugh! Just... - Sorry. 108 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:36,453 - Have you decided which employees you're letting go? 109 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,694 - Why don't you try and guess who they are? 110 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,249 - Glenn-- - Wrong! 111 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,718 - No, I was saying your name. 112 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,355 Look, I know it's tough, but I need an answer 113 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,591 within one hour. 114 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,455 Okay? - No! 115 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,464 - Excuse me? 116 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,366 - You heard me, I s-- I said, no. 117 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:54,599 I am taking a stand. I am not gonna fire anyone! 118 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,795 - Well, you have to. 119 00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,607 - Okay. 120 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,609 [playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling"] 121 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:05,382 - * I see my Marianne walkin' away * 122 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,283 - My husband's out of work, and I just got this job. 123 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,545 I can't afford to lose it. 124 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,852 - Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine. 125 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,823 You seem smart, and dependable... 126 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,622 and sexy, and-- and you're a hard worker. 127 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,485 - What'd you call me? 128 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:17,494 - Dependable? 129 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,485 - I have six children... 130 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,497 one of whom is messed the [bleep] up. 131 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,829 I do not need some overgrown leprechaun 132 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,504 harassing me at work. 133 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,633 - [glass breaks] [screams] 134 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,297 Uh, uh, uh! 135 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,536 I'm sorry, I-I-- I'm cleaning it up! 136 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,340 - No, no! No! Cheyenne! 137 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,742 That's glass! - No, no, that's a bad idea. 138 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,413 - It's okay, I don't want Glenn to find out. 139 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,512 I-I don't mind. 140 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,514 Ow! - No, stop! 141 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,306 - Ow! 142 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,848 - Okay, if she bleeds out, call someone. 143 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,323 - Ow! Ow. 144 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,753 - Please do not leer at me. 145 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,417 - Hey, Glenn, people are starting to get a little 146 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,857 crazy... 147 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,431 out there... 148 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:57,868 . 149 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:58,468 - All of us are vulnerable. 150 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,568 Okay, that's why we as gay people... 151 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,442 we need to form an alliance. 152 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,341 - I'm in. - Uh, actually, 153 00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:07,643 I'm not a lesbian. 154 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,875 - Girl... 155 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,349 - Turns out management is safe. 156 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,679 Found out the hard way. 157 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,353 I had to eat some of Glenn's banana bread. 158 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,452 I'm gonna be backed up till Sunday. 159 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,794 Maybe I'll have chili for lunch. 160 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,588 Blast it with dynamite. 161 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,820 - Well, it's... 162 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,794 good to know you'll be sticking around. 163 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,694 - Why? 164 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,696 - Just something people say. 165 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,899 - Hm. 166 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,730 - I mean... 167 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,695 wouldn't you be glad to hear I wasn't losing my job? 168 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,604 - No more than anyone else. 169 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,606 Wait, is this because we've been having sex? 170 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,908 - Well, no, I just thought-- 171 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,709 - All animals have sex! 172 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,811 I know what you're gonna say. 173 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,482 Not certain kinds of worms. 174 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:44,811 Whatever, Poindexter. 175 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,945 - No worms have sex. 176 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,619 They all have sex with themselves. 177 00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:48,818 - Here we go. 178 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,619 - Look, how about we... 179 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,621 How about we rank people? 180 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,393 Like, on a scale from one to ten. 181 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,392 If you had to give Elias a number... 182 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:58,834 based on job performance alone. 183 00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,929 What would it be? 184 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,630 - Elias? 185 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,832 That's easy. Ten. 186 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,734 - Okay. 187 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,736 Okay, so we know we're not considering Elias. 188 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,509 Um... what about Sarah? 189 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,639 - Oh! She's even better than Elias. 190 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:14,844 - Right! - Yeah. 191 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,405 - So if Sarah is better than Elias, 192 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:20,645 then maybe we give a Elias a nine? 193 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,681 - No, make Sarah an 11. 194 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,618 - Okay. Yeah. 195 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,924 - The National Weather Service 196 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,815 has issued a heightened tornado watch 197 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,827 for the St. Louis area-- - Wind speeds up to 200 mph 198 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,830 are expected-- - Important information 199 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,732 you absolutely need to know to survive. 200 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,934 - Not only did Lisa Rinna design 201 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,536 this fabulous cardigan herself, 202 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,739 she owns it in all 17 colors. 203 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,211 - Attention, shoppers. 204 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,538 If you are the owner of a four-door, 205 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,205 beige, sexy Cabriolet, your lights are on. 206 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:54,753 That again is a beige, sexy Cabriolet. 207 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,222 - Subtle. 208 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,949 - I'm just talking how I talk. 209 00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,945 - Tell me if this is weird. 210 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,657 Dina said she didn't care 211 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,889 if I'm the one who gets laid off. 212 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,234 - What? That is weird. 213 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,658 You guys are in, like, a relationship. 214 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:07,864 - Uh, no. [chuckles] 215 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,655 We're not. - Yeah, but, you know... 216 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,227 You're sleeping together. 217 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,874 - Pfft, I ain't sleeping with all those birds. 218 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,570 [chuckles] 219 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,972 - You're having sex. 220 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,573 - Okay, yeah, sure, but why does that matter? 221 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,966 - Because there's usually... 222 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,577 you know, an emotional component to sex. 223 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,780 - Not with us. 224 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,583 - Okay, then it's not weird. 225 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,815 - I don't think so either. 226 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,594 - Okay, so... 227 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,520 Mateo is a 43, Mary is a 42.5... 228 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,957 and Cody, who grows weed in the garden center... 229 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,063 is a 42. 230 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:45,525 On a scale from one to ten. 231 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,966 - I hire good people. 232 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,640 - Look, there is no right answer here. 233 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,070 Glenn, you could walk out into the store 234 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,774 and ask every single person, 235 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,836 and they're all gonna have a different opinion. 236 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,606 - Okay. 237 00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,505 Everyone write down the names 238 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:02,617 of the six people you think should be laid off. 239 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,520 - And you're gonna fire whoever we say? 240 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:07,962 - No, we're all gonna fire whoever we all say. 241 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,688 Together. As a family. 242 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,993 - So like a family, 243 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,094 we'll decide which siblings to get rid of 244 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,625 through simple majority. 245 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:14,931 - That doesn't make any sense. 246 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,062 We're just gonna wind up splitting the vote, 247 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,626 and then we're all in danger. 248 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,965 Someone just say someone's name, 249 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,629 and we'll all vote on that person. 250 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,068 - Marcus. - [laughing] 251 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,813 No, for real, though. 252 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,068 - I'll do Marcus. [overlapping chatter] 253 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,076 - No, no, no, bad. 254 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,978 - I think we should fire the sluts. 255 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,080 - I hope not all of us sluts. 256 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,652 - You're not a slut, Justine, stop trying to seem interesting. 257 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,052 - I mean, Sandra. 258 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,553 She stole my boyfriend, and she's bad at zoning. 259 00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:39,646 - You don't have to explain it. 260 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:40,987 Everybody put Sandra. 261 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,091 - Okay, Sandra. [overlapping chatter] 262 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,962 - Okay. 263 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,791 - Glenn, I think asking for everybody's input is-- 264 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,096 is an interesting, and noble, and sexy idea, 265 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,059 but it's a mistake. 266 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:53,998 - It can't be a mistake if it's what everyone votes for. 267 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,574 - Oh, yeah, that's always true. 268 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:58,113 - This may not be politically correct... 269 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,578 but let's just fire all the minorities. 270 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,809 [overlapping chatter] 271 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,584 - This is not a democracy. 272 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,013 It's mob rule. 273 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,577 - What's the difference? 274 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,946 - [stammers] Um... 275 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,724 uh, wow, that's a really interesting thought. 276 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,123 - Glenn, just a friendly reminder. 277 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,024 Jeff is gonna need a decision in three minutes. 278 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,026 * 279 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,689 - Uh, okay, I'm-- 280 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,128 I-I just need to... 281 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,832 check on something... 282 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,595 - What? - Are we still voting? 283 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,604 Where'd he go? - Mine's already filled out. 284 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,607 [all clamoring] - There he goes. There he goes. 285 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:34,609 [Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"] 286 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,012 - * Been that way for all my time * 287 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,212 - Sup, Glenn. 288 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,777 - Oh, hey, guys. 289 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,975 I was just heading out to the... 290 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,787 [murmurs unintelligibly] 291 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,219 - Gorflorkinson? 292 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,224 - No. 293 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,786 - Glenn! - Hm? 294 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,234 - You have to make a decision now. 295 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,989 - Okay, fine. 296 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:57,127 I'm just gonna say it. 297 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,904 Unless something stops me. 298 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,802 Like when an angel comes 299 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,804 at the last possible second 300 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,866 in the bible! 301 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,154 But that doesn't seem to be happening 302 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,920 because that last possible second is now. 303 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,050 Like, right now. 304 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,746 Hey, welcome to Cloud 9! 305 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,158 Can I help-- - Glenn! 306 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,159 - Chris, Alex, Cody, Justine, Henry, and Marcus. 307 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,861 - Why? - [chuckling] 308 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,863 - Oh! - You wanna fire me? 309 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,425 Well, guess what? If I go... 310 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,862 Mateo goes, too. 311 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,068 We have an alliance. 312 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,229 Right, buddy? 313 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,073 Oh, real nice. 314 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,865 So much for Dave Matthews fans sticking together. 315 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,178 [alarm wailing] 316 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,440 - What is that? What is going on? 317 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,977 - Sounds like a prison escape. 318 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,083 - No, guys. It's Color Wars. 319 00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,875 - No, it's a tornado warning! 320 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,177 - [gasps] - All right. 321 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,788 Everybody stay inside. 322 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,250 We are gonna lock this place down. 323 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,187 - Okay... 324 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,863 how funny would it had been 325 00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,461 if that siren had come ten seconds earlier! 326 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:04,304 . 327 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,371 - Everyone should find a place to take shelter until 328 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,104 the tornado either passes, 329 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,935 dissipates, or hits us head on. 330 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,070 [overlapping concern] - Which is not going to happen! 331 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,235 This is just a warning. 332 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,043 We're gonna be fine. 333 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,835 - Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were a magical gypsy 334 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:17,847 who could tell the future. 335 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,078 She isn't. 336 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,352 - What do we do if the tornado hits us? 337 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,880 - Uh, what do we do if the tornado hit us? 338 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,116 I'm not sure, maybe get blown away by it? 339 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,892 - No, no, you hide under a doorway. 340 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,860 - No, no, no. That's an earthquake. 341 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,359 - Actually, they say you're not supposed to do that anymore. 342 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,930 - Who cares what they say not to do 343 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,829 for something that's not happening. 344 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,831 - They say that you should go towards the eye of the storm. 345 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,263 - Where's the eye of the storm, Amy? 346 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,367 - I don't know. - That's what I thought. 347 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,368 - Tell someone you trust. 348 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,940 - Oh, Cheyenne, that's only if the tornado's molesting you. 349 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,940 - Okay, this is exactly why I said 350 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,372 we needed to do tornado drills, Glenn. 351 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,036 - Okay, well, we'll do a tornado drill 352 00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,375 right now, Dina. - Great! 353 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,849 - Okay, this is just a drill! 354 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,149 Everyone grab a clutch buddy! 355 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,221 - Oh, get off me. 356 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,048 - No-- - Hold on to me. 357 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,294 [overlapping chatter] - Don't even think about it. 358 00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,348 - Get off me! - I am saving your life. 359 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,316 - I don't wanna be saved by you! 360 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,264 [Creedence Clearwater Revival "Who'll Stop The Rain"] 361 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,060 - * Caught up in the fable 362 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,392 * I watched the tower 363 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,396 - Bo, I just want to let you know that 364 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,398 there's a tornado warning, and... 365 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,971 in case I don't make it, I want you to make sure that 366 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,871 Harmonica becomes an actress. 367 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,313 - I'm okay for now, but if something is to happen... 368 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,768 Crackers, Harriet, Mr. Beaks... 369 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,108 I want you to open the cages. 370 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,312 I know you know how... 371 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,314 I've known for months. 372 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,976 - And, uh, I just wanted to make sure that Emma's okay. 373 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,986 Uh, and you, obviously, you, too. 374 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,989 I still, you know... 375 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,191 I mean, no matter what... 376 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,193 anyway. 377 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,434 - Hi, Jerry. 378 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,088 I'm just calling to let you know that 379 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,997 you should probably get tested. 380 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,999 There are, like, ten guys here who say that 381 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,471 Sandra gave them herpes. 382 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,366 - [exhales] 383 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,081 Oh, hey. 384 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,979 This kinda puts things in perspective, huh? 385 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,982 Makes getting fired seem not so bad. 386 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,415 - I had just saved up enough money 387 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,190 to put doors back on my car. 388 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,288 - Well, if you got the money, you can still do it. 389 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,960 - No. 'Cause all that money's gonna have to go towards food. 390 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,091 And movies. 391 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,096 - What happened to our Catholic alliance? 392 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,328 You lied to me. 393 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,003 - Don't take it personally. 394 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,431 I'm not here to make friends, Cody. 395 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,236 Hate the game, not the player. 396 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:23,899 You get it. 397 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,907 - Nobody loves you. 398 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,269 You're gonna die alone. 399 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,414 - Shut up. 400 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,416 - I got a helmet for when stuff starts flying around. 401 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,878 There was one extra. Who wants it? 402 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,147 - Oh, me. - I'll take it. 403 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,885 - Hmm, guess we'll have to flip for it. 404 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,120 - Well... 405 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,324 who do you want to have the helmet? 406 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,215 - It doesn't matter to me. 407 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,427 Why is everything I have from Dave and Buster's? 408 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,899 - All right, so you have a chance to give somebody 409 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,229 a better shot at surviving a tornado, 410 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,434 and it makes zero difference to you 411 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,265 if that person is me, or-- 412 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,401 - Alisha. - Hey, Dina. 413 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,135 both: Nice to meet you. 414 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,340 - I heard good things about your interview! 415 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,911 [both chuckling] - I tried. 416 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:01,911 - What? 417 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,142 - Well, nothing, just... 418 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,336 flip the coin. 419 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,908 - I don't wanna die in a Cloud 9 420 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,517 surrounded by diarrhea medicine. 421 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,924 - Well, you know, [stammers] 422 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,353 we're in a safe place. 423 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,017 You know, you're supposed to stay away 424 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,356 from south and west walls, 425 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,031 and you're never supposed to hide under an overpass. 426 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,361 That's-- that's just a myth. 427 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,155 - What are you talking about? 428 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,167 - I'm just talking to comfort you. 429 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,169 Is it working? - No, not really. 430 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,301 - Okay, I'll keep talking. 431 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,936 - Okay. 432 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,371 - I mean, the thing about this structure is-- 433 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,175 [stammers] It's really solid, you know? 434 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,948 It's very strong, it's very sturdy. 435 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,278 It's... 436 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:43,282 - It's very sexy. 437 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,086 - I... 438 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,388 think I might be the only one who could pull that word off. 439 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,219 [fixtures creaking] - [gasps] 440 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,493 - Oh, that's-- that's just, um... 441 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,055 that's just the grid. 442 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,974 Uh, recalibrating. 443 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,468 - We're gonna die in a Cloud 9 surrounded by diarrhea medicine. 444 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,401 - Well... 445 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,966 we should keep talking so those aren't your last words. 446 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,340 - * It's the final countdown 447 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:15,116 * 448 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,148 - [uncomfortable laughter] 449 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,589 I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. 450 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,261 - Hey, let's all sing a song. 451 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:28,262 * Cantaloupe's on the fence post * 452 00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,425 * Horsey's in the barn 453 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,273 Everybody! 454 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,499 [all singing] * Flapjack's on the table 455 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:38,514 * Grandpa's spinning a yarn 456 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,508 - Average tornado warning is 13 minutes. 457 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,081 So in about... 458 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,551 four minutes, we'll be fine. 459 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:49,378 [thunder rumbling] Or, you know... 460 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,616 not. 461 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,191 - You suck at being comforting. 462 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,192 - We're gonna be fine. 463 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:01,185 [explosive boom] - [shrieks] 464 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,258 [heavy breathing] 465 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,271 - Excuse me. 466 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,072 These razors say two for one, 467 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,274 but do they mean two razors, or two packs of razors? 468 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,606 'Cause there's-- there's two per pack. 469 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,082 - Just--just take the-- the one pack, then. 470 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,411 - The one pack? - Yeah. 471 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,606 - But there's two in there. 472 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,177 See, this is the thing. 473 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,145 [wind blowing] 474 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,327 - Oh, [bleep]. 475 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:44,173 . 476 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:44,544 [wind howling] 477 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,477 [crashing and rumbling] 478 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,708 - Dear Lord Jesus, 479 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,082 in your infinite power and compassion, 480 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,581 please save us from destruction. 481 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:55,582 Thank you, Jesus, thank you. - [whimpering] 482 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,085 [crashing and rumbling] 483 00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,588 - Dear... 484 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,689 Jewish God, in your infinite power-- 485 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,221 - The festive designs from Caribbean designer 486 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:09,327 Agwe Urgellés were inspired by accounts of real-life mermaids. 487 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,602 - Amy, come on! 488 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,801 [crashing and rumbling] 489 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,802 - Look out for the-- - [screams] 490 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:18,074 [crashing and rumbling] 491 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,537 - It's messed up that you didn't give me the other helmet! 492 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,206 - You lost the flip! 493 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,545 - There shouldn't have been a flip, you psycho! 494 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,120 - Why? 495 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,319 - Because there's an emotional component to sex! 496 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,792 - [uncomfortable laughter] - Buddha, if you speak English, 497 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,591 in you infinite power and compassion, please-- 498 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,793 - We're all gonna die! 499 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,134 - Come on! Run! Run! 500 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,130 [crashing and rumbling] 501 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,133 - Wait! Wait! 502 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,225 Sandra! 503 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,596 Please help! 504 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,244 - I love you, Jeff! 505 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,199 I love you. 506 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,338 But I didn't want to die without letting you know how I feel! 507 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:56,143 And you use the word "ostensibly" too much. 508 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,706 But I didn't want to die without telling you that. 509 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,605 [crashing and rumbling] 510 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,348 - Ahh! 511 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,153 - $49.99? Can we sell it that low? 512 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:09,186 [crashing and rumbling] 513 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,893 - In your infinite power and compassion, 514 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,197 please save us from destruction. 515 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,299 Thank you, Ganesh. 516 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,300 - We're all gonna die. 517 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,732 [laughing] 518 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,168 - Dear, Allah, 519 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,403 in your infinite power and compassion, 520 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,307 please save us from destruction. 521 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,709 - [uncomfortable laughter] 522 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,782 [storm recedes] 523 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,819 - Thank you... 524 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,222 Allah? 525 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,225 [gentle guitar music] 526 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:52,298 * 527 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:09,315 * 528 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:26,332 * 529 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:42,746 * 530 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,922 - You guys, I found my green hair thingy. 531 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,823 - Sir, are you hurt? 532 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:54,925 * 533 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:59,971 [indistinct chatter] 534 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:06,268 * 535 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,436 - No death or injuries in a hit like this... 536 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,275 Someone out there must be looking out for you guys. 537 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,510 - Yup. 538 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,984 Someone was. 539 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:16,524 - All right, listen up! 540 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,419 Justine! - Here. 541 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,891 - Darren! - Yeah. 542 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,889 - Garrett! - Right here. 543 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,292 - Glad you're not dead. 544 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,885 - Likewise. 545 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,996 - Brett! 546 00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,998 Brett! 547 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,900 Has anybody seen Brett? 548 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,904 No Brett. 549 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:38,907 - Guys! 550 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,538 Do we sell baby pigs? 551 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,313 I found a baby pig. 552 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,442 [pig squeals] 553 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:47,546 * 554 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,020 - Listen, um, I just wanna-- 555 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,918 - Oh, no, you do not-- - No, just let me-- 556 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,920 - Amy, seriously-- - Jonah, stop talking. 557 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,322 * 558 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,564 I'm saying thank you. 559 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,018 For being there for me, and--and for... 560 00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:00,027 keeping me calm. 561 00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:02,029 - Of course. You know? 562 00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,461 Anytime. 563 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,826 - Mom! 564 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,474 - Emma! 565 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,469 Are you okay? - We're okay. 566 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,041 - The phones are down. We were just worried. 567 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,840 I was worried about you. - I'm okay, I'm okay. 568 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,043 * 569 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,575 - Hey! Do you, uh... 570 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,951 guys feel like getting a drink? 571 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,480 - [exhales] 572 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,045 I can definitely go for a drink right now. 573 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,083 - Yes! 574 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,847 The horsemen ride again! 575 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,586 I think we should call ourselves the horsemen. 576 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,061 - Okay. 577 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:33,489 Hey, let's go home. - Let's do it. 578 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,056 - Look out, bartender, here we come. 579 00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:37,864 [chuckling] I love drinking, guys. 580 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,967 - My car! 581 00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:41,969 - Aw, Giant Taco? 582 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,601 Their enchiladas are crazy good! 583 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,507 I hope they're still open. 584 00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:49,509 Do we gotta come into work tomorrow? 585 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:52,482 *