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00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,137
Everybody Hates Chris
"Everybody Hates Gambling"
CLOSED CAPTIONED

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CHRIS ROCK:
In my neighborhood, people
didn't make a lot of money,

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00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,340
so in order to make ends meet,
people would gamble.

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00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,376
And you know what?

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I bet you a dollar you can't
figure out which baby is yours.

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All right.

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I can't tell.

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Just about everybody
played the lottery...

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Those are tonight's
winning lotto numbers...
We won!

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00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,089
We won?!

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I won.

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Get your ass
out of my house!

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MAN (on TV):
...New York lottery.

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Even people who told other
people not to gamble, gambled.

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Let me tell you this...

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gambling is a sin!

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With a capital...

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Bingo! Bingo!

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People would gamble
on anything.

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Bingo, bingo.

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I'll bet you a dollar
you can't guess

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how many cans
of tuna I got in here.

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Twelve.

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Damn!

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I bet you can't guess

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how many apples
I got in my hand.

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Five.

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Damn!

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The one thing everybody bet on
was sports.

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Whoo!
What?

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I'm about to make some money,
that's what.

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I got the Bulls
over the Bucks.

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I didn't gamble, but I knew
a bad bet when I saw it.

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The Bulls can't beat the Bucks.

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I mean, yeah,
they have Jordan,

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but Don Nelson can coach circles
around Kevin Loughery.

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The Bucks over the Bulls?

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You're crazy!

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Wanna bet?

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Captioning sponsored by
CBS PARAMOUNT NETWORK
TELEVISION

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I wasn't making a bet with Doc,

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but it paid off, anyway...

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Well, ain't you
the little odds maker?

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What are you
talking about?

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Here.

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What's this for?

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You called that game just right.

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First I was down $50,

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now I'm up by $300.

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All I get is this?

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Now...

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When I said "bet",
I didn't mean "bet" bet.

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I was just saying.

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Oh, you keep on just saying,

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and I'll just keep
on paying.

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How'd you learn so much
about the game, anyway?

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Well, since I can't play,
I watch.

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I study the stats. It's fun.

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Too bad they don't have
an all-star game for stats.

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Now, what do you think

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about Jazz
against the Rockets?

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Well, everybody thinks
that Houston's gonna win

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because of the twin towers,

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but that's only for rebounds
and stick backs.

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The Jazz can run.

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Back at home,between Drew
and Tonya, all bets were off.

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Hah!

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He's up over the defensive
line, and king me!

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(chuckles)

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So that don't mean nothing.

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Hah!

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Bam! Bam! Bam!

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Hah! And that's it!

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Drew crushes Tonya again
and the crowd goes wild.

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(laughing):
I win, you lose.

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My brother was good
at everything except winning.

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Why don't you shut up?

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Why don't you make me shut up?

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Bet you don't win again.

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I bet you I do.

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Bet you you don't.

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All right then,
bet what?

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While Drew and Tanya were
putting their bets down,

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Vanessa was giving my mother
a heads up.

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Did you hear about Doc?

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No. What happened?

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He won $300 on the basketball
game last night.

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Gambling?

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I hate gambling.

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My mother hated gambling

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because my grandfather
loved it.

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He'd gamble on anything.

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Fights...

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Come on, blue.

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Let's go.

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Come on, blue.

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Doggonnit!

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(grunting)

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He gambled on races...

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(cheering)

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Doggonnit!

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He even bet on the weather.

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I got ten dollars on sunny
and 79.

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Doggonnit!

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Pay up...

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So you don't gamble at all?

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No! Not at all.

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What about Julius?

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Julius won't even bet you
his own name is Julius.

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The only bet my father would
place was this...

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I see your "20% off" coupon

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and raise you a
"buy one get one free" coupon.

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Too rich for my blood.

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Fold.

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I'll see your coupon
and raise you a boot.

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I'm out.

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Yeah, I tell you what,
I tell you what.

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Now, you loan me ten dollars,

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I'll put a little
somethin' somethin' down

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on the Houston-Utah game
for both of us tonight.

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Nobody in this house is
putting a little down

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on anything except
the bills.

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Told you.

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After a few days
of picking winners for Doc,

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it was starting to go
to my head.

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* If I ruled the world,
was king on the throne *

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* I'd make peace
in every culture *

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* Build the homeless a home

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* I'm not runnin' for Congress
or the President *

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* I'm just here to tell
the world how my story went *

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* As I arrived,
the crowd started to cheer *

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* And then someone yelled out,
"The King is here!" *

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* So I headed toward stage
to make a speech *

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* About the new style of living
I was gonna teach, uh-huh *

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* If I ruled the world *

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* Huh-huh, huh-huh,
uh-huh, uh-huh *

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* I'd love all the girls *

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* I love 'em, love 'em,
baby... *

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Good morning, Chris.

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Why don't you take
a day off, sweetheart.

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You bet.

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* If I ruled the world...

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Cool hat, man.

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Oh, thanks. It's a Kangol.

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Aren't those expensive?

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Yeah, well,
I made some extra money

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when I gave Doc a couple of tips
on the play-off games.

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Are you crazy?

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You've gotta give that back.

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It's gambling money.

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Do you know what happens
to gamblers?

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Greg, I'm not gambling.

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And Bobby Brown's drug free.

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I just told him
who I thought would win.

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Hello?

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That's gambling.

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Greg, calm down.

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What's your problem anyway?

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My mother.

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Was your mother a gambler?

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Yup.

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She lost a bet
and had to marry my father.

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Then she won another bet
and got to leave.

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And then there's
the bet she lost

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that got Greg here
in the first place.

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Back at Doc's,

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he was more concerned
with the line on the game

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than the line
at the cash register.

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But I think Dallas
is gonna take this one.

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You're going with Dallas
over Portland?

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You should be
committed, old man.

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You know what?
You both need

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to be committed.
Hey, Chris,

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what you think, man?
Well, who's

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he supposed to be,
Jimmy the Greek?

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No, that's Chrissy the Black.

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He called me that even before
he knew I could pick games.

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So, brother man,
what you know?

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Well, I know that the Portland
defense is way too weak

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in transition
to stop Aguirre and Blackman.

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Plus, the Mavericks have
something to prove

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so they're going
to come out hard.

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So I'm gonna have to go
with Dallas.

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And-and why should
I listen to you?

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Well, don't and lose your money.

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You know I got
a side bet

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with somebody as
dumb as you are.

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No, we gonna see
who's gonna lose some money.

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Well, bet me
double that.

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Win or lose,
I bet I'm in trouble.

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Put your money where
your mouth is.

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What is she doing
with us all the time...

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Well, well, well,
if it ain't Chrissy the Black.

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I thought we was supposed
to be friends, young blood.

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What are you talking about?

196
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Doc had a little side bet
on the Dallas game.

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I was the side bet.

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And I know you wouldn't listen

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'cause your name is
Risky, not Smarty.

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Wait, what happened?

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I lost,
that's what happened.

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If I had known you were giving
Doc his pitch,

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I wouldn't even bet him.

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For the first time I realized,

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that while Doc
was winning money,

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somebody was losing.

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What?

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You're in on this?

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He ain't in on nothing.

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I just give him a little
taste when I win.

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00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,188
Well, if you're so
on the money, uh,

212
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how about tonight's game?

213
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:37,858
Oh, that's a big game.

214
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There's gonna be a lot
of money on the line.

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Come on, man.

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00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,064
Help me out just so
I can win my money back.

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All right,
just don't tell anybody.

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I won't tell anybody,
it's just between us.

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00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,838
Translation:
"I'm telling everybody."

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00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,843
You ever notice
how nervous you get

221
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,512
when a big black car
is following you.

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00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,155
You're Chris, right?

223
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,590
Who are you?

224
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:10,958
Shecky the Bookie.

225
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,093
My friends call me
Shecky the Bookie.

226
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,562
And what do you want?

227
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,530
Word on the street is
you're pretty good

228
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,998
at picking ball games.

229
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,199
Nah, I'm just lucky.

230
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,069
They build casinos
on your kind of luck.

231
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,771
Look, your friend Doc,

232
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,739
he needs to get unlucky.

233
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,175
And he needs to get unlucky
tonight.

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00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,612
And if he doesn't, I'm
gonna see you tomorrow.

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00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,747
And you don't want
to see me tomorrow.

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I didn't want to see you today.

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Capiche?

238
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,586
I wonder if that's Italian

239
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,087
for "Did you just wet
your pants?"

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00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,121
GREG:
Dude, this is bad.

241
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,990
Tell me something
I don't know.

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The estimated weight of the
earth is six sextillion tons.

243
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,227
Greg, that was a
rhetorical question.

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00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,662
Sorry.

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00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,163
I told you this
was going to happen.

246
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,933
Chris, there's only
one way out.

247
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:53,734
And what's that?

248
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,135
We can disguise you
as a Dominican.

249
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,571
You'll speak Spanish
and move to the Bronx.

250
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,039
We'll call you
Salvador Armando

251
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,274
Guillermo Sanchez
Garcia Morales.

252
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,310
You'll never see
your family again,

253
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,345
but you won't have
to pick any more games.

254
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,882
Or I could just
pick the wrong team

255
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,317
and everybody will think
I'm a loser again

256
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,620
and then nobody will
ask me to pick anymore.

257
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,789
You could try that, too.

258
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,832
Baby, what are you doing?

259
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:25,866
(sighs)

260
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,868
Trying to beat Drew
at checkers.

261
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,703
Well, shouldn't he be playing?

262
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,138
No.

263
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,240
Because he bet me three dollars
that I couldn't beat him.

264
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,909
So I can't play him again
till I think I can win.

265
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,846
Baby, you know your mother
doesn't like gambling.

266
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,114
Checkers is just supposed
to be for fun.

267
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,150
It was fun.

268
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,286
But every time Drew wins,
he starts teasing me,

269
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,588
and I just want to beat him
until he cries!

270
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,759
So, you know,
it could be fun again.

271
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,061
Uh...

272
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,663
Oh...

273
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,365
I see why Drew
is beating you.

274
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,100
Why?

275
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,035
You've got to think
before you move.

276
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,336
Strategize.

277
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,972
Strategize?

278
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,239
In checkers?

279
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,742
You're not playing checkers,
you're playing Drew.

280
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,110
It's like...

281
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,979
you've played him
over a hundred times.

282
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,213
You know all his
moves, right?

283
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,716
Yeah, he just wants
to be kinged all the time.

284
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,785
So what you do
is you leave him

285
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,152
an easy way
to get kinged,

286
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,221
but you're really leading
him into a trap

287
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,923
to take all
his checkers.

288
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,992
Just ask Paul McCartney's wife.

289
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,227
Hmm, thanks, Dad.

290
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,231
Uh, Daddy.
Hmm?

291
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,800
Can I borrow three dollars?

292
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,035
Borrow?

293
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,805
Okay, "have."

294
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,276
My man.

295
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,745
How are you
at baseball?

296
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:45,979
I don't know.

297
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,748
Well, come on, come
on, we're on a roll.

298
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,382
I didn't know when that roll
would end,

299
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,019
but I imagined
how it would end.

300
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,123
My man!

301
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,224
Who are you?

302
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,259
(speaking Asian language)

303
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,228
Wok? What happened to Doc?

304
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,297
(speaking Asian language)

305
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,933
Jail?

306
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,201
I'm not working for you.

307
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,136
Want to bet?

308
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,972
I either had to stop Doc
from gambling

309
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,741
or learn how to skin chickens.

310
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,876
Oh, Chris.

311
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,311
I was just about
to make that call.

312
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,713
Lakers, right?

313
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,181
Um, you know what?

314
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,184
I've been thinking, and I think
you should go with Phoenix.

315
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,186
Phoenix? Over the Lakers?

316
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:29,056
They just lost two games.

317
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,323
Yeah, I know, but they're
at Phoenix.

318
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,826
You know, it's a pride thing;
they don't want to get swept.

319
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,161
You sure about that?

320
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,929
Yep.
Nope.

321
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,297
My man.

322
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,166
I'm his man today,

323
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,302
but tomorrow he's gonna beat me
like a bald-headed stepchild.

324
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,377
While I was trying to get
out of gambling,

325
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,345
my father
was looking to get in.

326
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,314
(laughing)

327
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,886
VANESSA:
Hey, Julius!

328
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,287
Hey. Vanessa.

329
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,822
What are you doing over here?

330
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,490
Uh, listen.

331
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,193
Everybody in the
neighborhood's been
winning on the games.

332
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,361
Are you sure about the
tips you've been getting?

333
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,764
Sure as fried fish is greasy.

334
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,866
Who's giving the tips, anyway?

335
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,902
I don't know, but he's good.

336
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,269
Doc hasn't lost a bet yet.

337
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,807
Can you put this
on the game for me?

338
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,808
Oh, okay.

339
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,009
And don't tell Rochelle.

340
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,844
Oh, no, wait a minute now;
I'm not comfortable with that.

341
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,012
I can't lie to my friend.

342
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,947
You told her
that perm looked good.

343
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,249
Look, I'm not asking you to lie.

344
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,985
I'm just saying... keep quiet.

345
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,121
She'll keep it quiet,
just like Paul Revere.

346
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,522
I'll tell her when I win.

347
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,291
All right, now, you better
tell her, or I'll have to.

348
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,393
Meanwhile,
back at my front door...

349
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,998
Can I help you?

350
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:47,300
Yeah. I'm looking
for Chrissy the Black.

351
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,036
Chrissy the what?
The Black.

352
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,403
Chrissy the Black.
Yeah.

353
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,571
Who are you?
Who are you?

354
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,307
You don't ask me who I am;
you're knocking on my door.

355
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,909
You got a point.

356
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,410
I'm Paulie the Bookie.
Paulie the what?

357
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,079
The Bookie. Shecky the Bookie

358
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,881
told me I can find
Chrissy the Black here.

359
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,149
Chrissy the Black?
Yeah.

360
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,917
You mean Chris?
Whatever.

361
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,987
Who am I talking to?
Rochelley the Mom.

362
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,123
Oh, the Mom. Oh.
I thought you were his old lady.

363
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,292
Who are you calling old?
I didn't mean it like that.

364
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,393
Look, what business
do you have with Chris?

365
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,362
There's a lot of action
on the Phoenix game tonight,

366
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,964
and your boy,
he's on a hot streak.

367
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,365
Shecky's got good action

368
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,600
coming on the over and under,
and I was hoping maybe

369
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,336
if I can a heads-up
on the spread.

370
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,038
Look here, Shecky...

371
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,339
It's Paulie.
Paulie.

372
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,108
Yeah.
I don't know
what you're talking about,

373
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,343
but I'm done talking about it.

374
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,281
Look, lady.

375
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,350
It would be a lot easier
if I talk to Chrissy about this.

376
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,087
I'm about to close this door,
and I suggest that your hand

377
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,122
not be between it
and the wall when I do.

378
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,024
And as for Chris,

379
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,292
I hope you find him before I do,

380
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,528
because his hot streak is about
to be over. Understand, Shecky?

381
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,931
It's Paulie.

382
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,299
Whatever.

383
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,902
While I was nervous
about tonight's game,

384
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,369
Tonya was nervous
about today's game.

385
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,471
You got your money?
Yeah, you got yours?

386
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,474
Yeah.
Okay, let's play.

387
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,079
Hello, everybody,
I'm Jim Lampley.

388
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:10,117
Today, we're in Bed-Stuy for the
World Checkers Championship,

389
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,619
a showdown between Tonya
and Drew.

390
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,989
In the past, Drew has routinely
schooled Tonya at checkers,

391
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,391
but today,
Tonya is tremendously motivated,

392
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,560
because three dollars
are on the line.

393
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,996
The money's on the table.
Let's go to the action.

394
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,397
(round bell dings)

395
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,333
Tonya is the first to move,

396
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,601
making the play
for Drew's front pieces.

397
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,138
(crowd cheering)

398
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,240
That looks like it could have
been a setup by Tonya.

399
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:37,444
Drew is gonna have to pay
for that move.

400
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,479
Oh, there's a tremendous move
by Drew.

401
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,115
Here comes Tonya again.

402
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:48,121
All you can say to that move is,
"King me."

403
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,990
Tonya's on the defensive again.

404
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,926
That could be part of her plan--
and look at that!

405
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,161
A double jump.

406
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,295
Drew never saw it coming.

407
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,631
Drew is holding on, but there's
every chance today...

408
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,134
he's going to get beaten
by a girl.

409
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:04,237
Ah. There's another
amazing move by Tonya.

410
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,473
She's really got Drew
on the ropes now.

411
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,642
One jump, two jumps--
what a move.

412
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,211
That's unbelievable.

413
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:15,248
Can Tonya come back now?

414
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,017
(laughing):
Whoa!

415
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,285
The impossible has happened.

416
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:21,088
Tonya jumps all of Drew's
remaining checkers

417
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,222
all at once.
(bell dings)

418
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,523
Tonya has won the game.

419
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,559
(audience cheering wildly)

420
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,530
I won! I won!

421
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,565
(singsongy):
You lost. I won. You lost.

422
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,034
Now, give me
my three dollars.

423
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,402
You cheated.
Did not.

424
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,971
Did too.
No, I didn't.
What is going on in here?

425
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,573
You two are screaming
like you don't have a mother.

426
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,543
A dispute has broken out,
and under the rules of
the championships,

427
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:44,978
Mom is here to settle it.

428
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,646
Tonya cheated.
No, I didn't.

429
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,582
I beat Drew in checkers, and now
he owes me three dollars.

430
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,285
And you're gambling, too?!

431
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,554
You ain't gonna be happy
until somebody comes over here

432
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,257
and breaks every knuckle
in this family.

433
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,027
So Tonya over Drew
in a checkers match to remember

434
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,395
right here at the Palace
in Bed-Stuy.

435
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,365
I'm Jim Lampley. Good night.

436
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,503
I don't understand this.

437
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:13,440
Why everybody in this house
knows how much I hate gambling,

438
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:17,244
and yet everybody
in this house is gambling.

439
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,679
Can somebody
explain this to me?

440
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,515
Julius? Chris?

441
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,551
Drew? Can you guys explain?

442
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,289
Tonya.

443
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,624
What do you have to say
for yourself, sweetheart?

444
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:36,596
Drew was teasing me at checkers,
so I bet him so he would stop.

445
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,632
Where did you get money
to place this bet?

446
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,667
Daddy.

447
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:45,138
Oh. Your daddy gave you money
to gamble.

448
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,274
Isn't that sweet?

449
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,309
Give it here.

450
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,645
Julius.

451
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,581
I was doing it just to
help her build confidence.

452
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,584
Oh. You were building
your daughter's confidence

453
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,652
by turning her brother
into a sucker.

454
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,389
That's good.

455
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,525
That's really good.

456
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,294
(laughs)

457
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,430
And Chrissy the Black?

458
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,499
You're just there
calling games

459
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,467
like you're
in Atlantic City, huh?

460
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,270
Is that what you want to do
if you grow up?

461
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:19,106
Notice she said "if."

462
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,107
But I wasn't gambling.

463
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,241
(mockingly):
You wasn't gambling.

464
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,675
Well, I don't know
what they call it,

465
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,112
Mr. Spread on the Over-Under,

466
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:28,081
but you better get ready
to stop not gambling.

467
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:30,617
"You better get ready
to stop not gambling?"

468
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,453
The point is:
boy, you better stop!

469
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,622
Well, I already
put a stop to it.

470
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,491
I lied to Doc about who was
going to win tonight's game.

471
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,693
Oh, so you're gambling
and you're lying?

472
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,596
How long is it gonna be before
we have bodies under this house?

473
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,266
Huh?!
You lied about who's
gonna win tonight's game?

474
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,101
And what does that matter
to you?

475
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,837
I placed a bet
on that game.

476
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,339
You did?

477
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,207
When did you place a bet?

478
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,542
A little while ago.

479
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,709
I gave it to Vanessa.

480
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,644
(laughs)

481
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,780
So you went behind my back
to my friend?!

482
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,449
She said
she didn't want to do it.

483
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:03,450
I-I told her I'd tell you.

484
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,385
Really? When?

485
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,620
Now?

486
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,889
How much did you bet?

487
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,724
Fifty.

488
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,592
Fifty dollars?

489
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,298
What happened to putting nothing
down but on bills? Huh?

490
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,233
Can't double your money
on the light bill.

491
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,471
You're going to fix this.

492
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,739
Oh, and you're going
to fix this now.

493
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,740
How's he going to fix it?

494
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,642
You can't change a bet
once you've placed it.

495
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:30,743
I don't care.

496
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,312
You're going to call Doc,

497
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,780
and you're going
to tell him the truth.

498
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,748
And you know what?
I'm going to change your name

499
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:39,419
from Chrissy the Black
to Chrissy the Black and Blue.

500
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,421
(Cybotron's "Clear" playing)

501
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,357
It's amazing how fast
bad news travels.

502
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:48,161
Hey, Doc, it's Chris.

503
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,497
What?!

504
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,831
Danny, Lakers over Phoenix.

505
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:52,765
Pull your bet.

506
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,902
Julio, Lakers over
Phoenix-- pull your bet.

507
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,938
Harry, no bet.
Don't bet the Lakers.

508
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,340
Perez, pull your bet.

509
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,641
Bobby...
Hey, man, pull your bet.

510
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,710
Did you do it?
Tell him to pull his bet.

511
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,744
Pull your bet, man.

512
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,447
Reverend, yes. Pull your bet.

513
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,216
Yeah. God bless you, too.

514
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:12,519
After all was said and done,
I had won some money,

515
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:16,256
lost some money, but there was
one thing I hadn't bet on...

516
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,424
Oh, man!

517
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,626
Phoenix wins!
Yeah, I won!

518
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,693
My man!

519
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:21,594
ROCHELLE:
We won!

520
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:25,198
Yeah! I told you,
I put money on Phoenix.

521
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,700
ROCHELLE:
Yes, we won!

522
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,669
Baby, thank you
so much, Chris.

523
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,405
(knock at door)

524
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,773
(laughing)

525
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,608
This is great.

526
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,911
Oh, she got the money,
got the money.

527
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,780
Here's your money, Julius.
Yes, yes, yes!

528
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:43,350
Ooh, thank you. Ooh.

529
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,351
ROCHELLE:
This is great.

530
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,552
Wait a minute.

531
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,387
There's only $50.

532
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,589
I know. I know.
I didn't make the bet.

533
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,857
Just when I was about
to put your money down,

534
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,860
Chrissy the Black said don't do
it-- Phoenix is going to lose.

535
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,563
If it wasn't for him, we all
would have made some money.

536
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,701
How was I supposed to know?

537
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,772
You're Chrissy
the Black?

538
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,007
ROCHELLE:
Yep, that's him.

539
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,643
You see? You got people
thinking they're gonna win,

540
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:11,778
when you know
they're gonna lose.

541
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,347
If you'd let them lose,
they probably could have won.

542
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,815
That's why I hate gambling!

543
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,784
'Cause you can't win for losing!

544
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,319
Here's the part where I lose.

545
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,788
Now get your butt upstairs!

546
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,690
* Everybody hates Chris.

547
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,893
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