1
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:04,296
Cheers <i>is filmed
before a live studio audience.</i>

2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,508
Boy, did I have
a crazy dream last night.

3
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:08,509
What was it?

4
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,928
I was at this party
with a bunch of strangers.

5
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,847
Food was great, music was loud.

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,599
All of a sudden,
everybody in the place stopped,

7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,184
and was looking at me.

8
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,812
And I realized
I wasn't wearing any pants.

9
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,731
I've had that dream
a million times.

10
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:25,275
Yeah, me, too. And boy,
is it ever embarrassing, huh?

11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,652
Why's that?

12
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,866
Norm?

13
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,618
Never embarrassed me.

14
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,411
Tell you the one I hate--
you're back in college, right?

15
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,914
You haven't been to class
the entire semester.

16
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,707
The teacher's about to give
the final exam.

17
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,918
Oh, yeah, that one's
the worst.

18
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,629
What are you talking about,
Carla, you never went to college.

19
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,714
It's a dream, stupid.

20
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,595
How about the one
where you go to this fancy restaurant

21
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,265
and before the let you in,
they make you leave your legs at the door?

22
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,728
The girl gives you
claim check number six.

23
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,647
So you go in.
But instead of food,

24
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,024
everyone's eating their silverware.

25
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,402
Only you can't really enjoy
your fork because you're so worried

26
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,363
that whoever got
claim check number nine

27
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,991
Might finish first
and pick up your legs by mistake.

28
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,580
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

29
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:37,199
Two vodka martinis,
and a Wallbanger.

30
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:38,825
Wallbanger.

31
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,038
Sam, I need to ask a big favor.

32
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:47,042
All right, as long as it doesn't interfere
with your job.

33
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,754
Okay then, I need to ask a huge favor.

34
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,256
Would it be possible two weeks
from this coming Wednesday

35
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:57,177
for me to leave work early,
about ten minutes?

36
00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:01,431
- Sure, why not?
- Oh, thank you, Sam.

37
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,934
Thank you very much.

38
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:08,563
And thank you for not
prying further into the matter.

39
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,942
Especially since, well,
I've no valid excuse

40
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,236
for my early departure.

41
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,906
Sam, I must be frank.

42
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,743
Sounds good. I'll be Bob.

43
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,249
I mean it's not as if I have
a dental appointment

44
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:30,419
or I have to meet someone
at the airport.

45
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,171
Okay, Diane,
why do you have to leave early

46
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,382
two weeks from this Wednesday?

47
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,300
Well, if you must know...

48
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,637
I have a date.

49
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,723
Oh, yeah, I've heard of those.

50
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,141
Have fun.

51
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:50,689
Ahh. Sweet, transparent bravado.

52
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,816
Could there be a soul dearer

53
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,693
than the little boy lost,

54
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,695
trembling on the edge of despair,

55
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,530
yet struggling manfully

56
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:01,283
to maintain his stiff upper lip?

57
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,453
Thank you for noticing.

58
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,621
Wait, Sam.
Wait, one more thing.

59
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,498
What?

60
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,334
After our five-star dinner
and season premier of the ballet date,

61
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:16,298
Chad, Dr. Stark, may desire a kiss.

62
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,925
Would you mind, should he ask,

63
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,888
if I let his lips touch mine?

64
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,723
Touch your what?

65
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,435
Mr. Peterson, I forgot,

66
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,854
some guy dropped by earlier
and asked me to give this to you.

67
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,522
Thank you, Woody.

68
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,192
And thank you, God.

69
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,943
What's that, Normie?

70
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,488
A research grant
from the National Beer Foundation?

71
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:43,033
This would be a measly little pair
of sky view seats

72
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,910
for the Sox-Yankee
double-header.

73
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,870
You're kidding me?

74
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,080
I pulled every string I had
and I could only score standing room.

75
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,957
Come on, how'd you get that?

76
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:55,378
Sam, it's not who you know,
it's who I know.

77
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,506
A client friend of mine,
Jerry Donahue, sent those babies over

78
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:01,301
to thank me for being
such a fantastic financial counselor.

79
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,094
No, seriously,
how'd you get them?

80
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,473
I saved the guy a bundle
on his taxes last year.

81
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,683
He asked me
to invest his windfall.

82
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,312
And in the face of six short months,
I kind of doubled his money.

83
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,815
I got lucky in a little
convenience mart up in Worcester.

84
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,317
What did you do,
hold it up?

85
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,110
You guys are hilarious,

86
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,530
But Jerry's laughing
all the way to the bank, all right?

87
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,864
I diversified the guy.

88
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,908
We went into mutuals

89
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,702
And a very pretty little
BioTech company that just went public.

90
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,497
Boy, it sounds like you got
the Midas touch there.

91
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,707
You should hear some of the other
great ideas we have cooked up.

92
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,042
Yeah? like what?

93
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,756
No, sorry, guys.
My lips are sealed.

94
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,091
Buy you a beer.

95
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,260
It's called Tan 'n' Wash.

96
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,719
Now, Tan 'n' Wash, guys,

97
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,347
the ultimate marriage
of luxury and convenience.

98
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,225
Combination tanning salon
and coin-operated laundry.

99
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,520
Get real.

100
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,730
Come on, the timing's right on this.

101
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,274
Summer tans are fading.

102
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,817
Winter's coming.

103
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,318
It's always dirty clothes season.

104
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,945
It's gonna be
the hottest place in town.

105
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,114
I'm glad you're already
thinking about arson.

106
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,533
Don't listen to them, Norman.

107
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:11,454
Never be deterred by the mindless
jibes of the ignorant masses.

108
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,331
Those ignorant masses
are gonna be our customers.

109
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,418
I'll be there with bells on.

110
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,713
Everyone will be there, buddy,

111
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,715
fluffing, folding,
relaxing happily

112
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,300
Beneath the healthful rays

113
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,177
of a federally-approved
UVA bronzing unit.

114
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,763
Well, Normie, I got to say,
it's the silliest,

115
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,559
most harebrained scheme
I've ever heard of.

116
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,644
Well, I got to go.

117
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,647
Normie, walk me out.

118
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,902
I'm not leaving yet, Cliff.

119
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,528
Neither am I.

120
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,906
Come on. I want in.

121
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,532
In what?

122
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,494
Don't be naive, Normie.
Put me up for five shares.

123
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:56,583
No, no.
investments are risky, Cliff.

124
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,252
I never do business
with friends, all right?

125
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,796
Besides, it's 200 bucks a share.

126
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,340
Put me down for five, too,
will you?

127
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,718
Great. Now the cat's out of the bag.

128
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,511
I think you're all crazy.

129
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,264
But if Clavin makes big bucks
and I don't,

130
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,766
I won't be able to live with the shame.

131
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,184
Give me a share.

132
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,810
Me, too. Me, too!

133
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,521
You, Diane, laying bets
on a laundry?

134
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,774
Well, in my case,
it's not a gamble,

135
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:25,570
but rather a show of faith
in our great free enterprise system.

136
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,322
Yes, even Diane chambers
isn't immune

137
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,907
To the renaissance
of American patriotism

138
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,533
in the 1980s.

139
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,118
Although I hasten to remind you

140
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,287
this does not imply
any shifting of my support

141
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,247
toward the current administration.

142
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,625
I hope nobody's looking
for a silent partner.

143
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,839
You know, Diane, you shouldn't be
investing in a tanning salon,

144
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:49,010
you ought to be using one.
You got skin the color of Elmer's glue.

145
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,889
I happen to have

146
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:57,018
what restoration poets
referred to as alabaster skin.

147
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,690
Well, at least your hair looks nice.

148
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,653
Besides, with my rendezvous
with Chad coming up,

149
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,405
I can't risk freckling.

150
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:12,158
Why not? if it got boring,
you could always play connect-the-dots.

151
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,578
God, how this must torment you.

152
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,166
Come on, Norm,
are you gonna let us in or not?

153
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,085
Let's change the subject, all right?

154
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,295
Hey, he's trying
to sidetrack us.

155
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,257
This thing must be
a gold mine.

156
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,175
Hey, Normie.
correct me if I'm wrong,

157
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,927
but yesterday you had a letter

158
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,178
You needed mailed.
I did it.

159
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,181
You could at least
return the favor.

160
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,809
Cliff ie, that's your job.

161
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,562
Well, all right, then,
as one professional to another,

162
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:41,646
come on, Norm!

163
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,899
I know what's gonna happen!
I know what's gonna happen!

164
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,235
Something's gonna go wrong,
You're all gonna blame me.

165
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,945
No way!

166
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:52,574
All right.
well, what the heck.

167
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,075
Hey, Wood,
you want in?

168
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,327
I don't think so.

169
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,912
You know,
when I left home,

170
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,832
my father gave me
some very sound advice.

171
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,375
Never trust a man

172
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,960
who can't look you in the eye,

173
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,587
never talk
when you can listen,

174
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,380
and never spend
venture capital

175
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,923
on a limited partnership

176
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,927
without a detailed analytical
fiduciary prospectus.

177
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,854
Afternoon, everybody.

178
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,647
- Norm!
- Norm!

179
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,524
Hey, Norm,
how's the world been treating you?

180
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,611
Like a baby
treats a diaper.

181
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,618
So...

182
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,662
What's the deal
with the Tan 'n' Wash?

183
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,748
For a new business,
I'd say

184
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,500
Tan 'n' wash is doing as well
as could be expected.

185
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,877
Oh, yeah?
I dropped by this morning

186
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,004
and the only customer
in the place

187
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,048
Was a lonely woman kicking the hell

188
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,299
out of a jammed change machine.

189
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,675
Oh, come on.

190
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,970
By the way, you owe me
a quarter and a new pair of shoes.

191
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,640
Patience, Carla.
All right? Patience.

192
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,767
There are gray skies
on the horizon.

193
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,602
Yeah, it's gonna get cold
and damp and miserable.

194
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,354
We'll be wading
in customers.

195
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,648
I think we're wading
in something right now.

196
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,817
I've worked out a great
new promotional campaign.

197
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,110
Promotional
campaign?

198
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,572
Hey, hey!

199
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,699
Check out Mr. Tan there!

200
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,202
Say, Sammy,
did you just fly to the tropics

201
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,788
and spend a week
and thousands of dollars

202
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,665
under the blazing
unhealthy sun?

203
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:27,210
No, Norm. No, I just
spent my lunch hour

204
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:32,257
under some healthful federally-approved
UVA rays at the Tan 'n' Wash.

205
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,968
Say, those clothes are
really looking clean there, pal.

206
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,469
Well, thank you, Norm.

207
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,264
Now, is it true
that with these coupons

208
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,599
anyone can get 25% off
on their first five visits?

209
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,685
- Well, that's what I hear.
- Great!

210
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,272
Well!

211
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,982
I tell you...

212
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,069
Is that Cliff Clavin
or is that Don Ho?

213
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,866
Where you been, buddy?
Some faraway island resort?

214
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,744
Easy mistake there. But no,
I got this tan right here in Beantown.

215
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,538
Is that at the new
Tan 'n' Wash

216
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,248
I been hearing
so dang much about?

217
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,833
That's right, Normie.
And by the way,

218
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,502
did you realize that the tan
first gained popularity

219
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,671
in what is now known
as the Bronze Age?

220
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,047
Great. Well, I'm sold.

221
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,759
By the way,
look how white I used to be.

222
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:23,016
You wore your socks
in the tanning booth?

223
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,727
I got to be careful, Sammy.

224
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,855
The Clavin men have feet
like a baby's bottom.

225
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,400
With faces to match.

226
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,194
Back off, Carla.
I don't see you

227
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,154
pitching in for the cause here.

228
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,156
Yeah? Well, all I know

229
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,868
is I wouldn't stick a fork
in a toaster, never mind my valuables.

230
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,620
Come on, guys.

231
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,997
What do you say
we snap up these flyers?

232
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,790
They can't last forever.

233
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,001
I wouldn't be so sure, Norm.

234
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,921
You know, Peterson,
you got the guts of a burglar.

235
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,547
In here peddling
a tanning salon

236
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,257
On the sunniest day
of the year.

237
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,885
Outside of someone with
a financial interest in the place,

238
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,804
who'd be stupid enough
to spend a minute in your rip-off joint?

239
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:34,128
You try to help out a few
newly enterprising friends,

240
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,588
and what do you get
for your trouble?

241
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,799
Forty-five minutes in Hell.

242
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,802
Keep it down, will you?
Keep it down here.

243
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,470
Keep it down?

244
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,222
I've got the worst
sunburn of my life

245
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,932
thanks to a faulty
thermo-regulator

246
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,892
on tanning machine
number three,

247
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,936
"The Bahama Mama."

248
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,729
Frasier...

249
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,774
You're supposed to start off slowly,
all right?

250
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:59,487
But I must say you do have one heck
of a fantastic base coat there, Frasier.

251
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:03,116
Yeah, and your shirt
sure smells fresher.

252
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,909
Really?

253
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,160
It's not too lemony?

254
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,620
Not for you.

255
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,178
Sorry.

256
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,937
Well, it's just that
it's such a lovely sunny day out...

257
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:36,649
As your tanned
faces will attest.

258
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:41,070
I guess I'm feeling
especially girlish.

259
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:44,782
- How come, Miss Chambers?
- No, don't, don't.

260
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,370
You know, Woody,

261
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,749
the usual thing
that puts a bounce in a girl's step.

262
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,169
Support hose.

263
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,923
You're adorable.

264
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:05,845
No. I'm referring
to a very special evening.

265
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,555
Oh, yeah, yeah.

266
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,266
Didn't you have a date
or something last night?

267
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,978
You know perfectly well
I saw Chad,

268
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,022
But it was no big deal.

269
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,320
Yeah. Yeah.

270
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:26,032
I refuse to ask her
about last night.

271
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,034
You ask her, Woody.

272
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,118
Gotcha.

273
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,288
Well, looky here.

274
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,957
The paper predicts

275
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:38,086
the same high for Boston as Honolulu.

276
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,713
That's Honolulu, Hawaii,

277
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,924
the state where you can get
a free tan all year round.

278
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,592
Carla, if you're trying to say something,

279
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,177
why don't you just spit it out,
all right?

280
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,305
Tan 'n' Wash
bites it!

281
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,307
Okay. I'll admit,

282
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,726
Indian summer's
killing us temporarily.

283
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,854
But this is Boston.
It's gonna get cold.

284
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:09,117
Hey, Sam. I found out
all about Miss Chambers' date.

285
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,661
It was a beautiful
night of magic.

286
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,664
Just spill it,
will you, Woody?

287
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,666
Well, the ballet was exquisite,

288
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,085
but it paled
by comparison

289
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:24,006
to the enchanting coach ride
under the stars.

290
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:29,095
Chad held her porcelain-like
hand lightly,

291
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:33,099
tracing tiny circles
on her alamander...

292
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,225
alabaster.

293
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,935
...alabaster skin.

294
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,439
And then...

295
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,150
Fearing that the spell
might be broken,

296
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:45,445
she invited him
up to her <i>pied-a-terre</i>

297
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,071
for some quiet conversation

298
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,990
and warm brandy,
and then...

299
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,032
What?

300
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:53,077
Miss Chambers said if you want
to hear the rest,

301
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,329
you got to
ask her yourself.

302
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,875
Forget it.
forget it, man.

303
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,251
Ask her, Sam.

304
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,253
Sounds like you won't be disappointed.

305
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,963
Forget it!

306
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,761
Frasier, a sunburn?

307
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:15,141
No, I'm doing my impression
of a blood blister.

308
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,144
Hey, Frasier,

309
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,645
you know,
there's something

310
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,105
I've always been meaning to ask you.

311
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,482
What was your reaction

312
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,984
the first time you saw Diane naked?

313
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,330
Normie, I can't hold out any longer.
Ma's getting antsy.

314
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,332
The last time
she spent $1,000,

315
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,959
it was on a house.

316
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,669
Cliff, I'm sorry,
I really am,

317
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,671
but you guys begged me
to let you in.

318
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,340
It's not like
I didn't warn you.

319
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,466
Oh, sure!

320
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:49,926
"Don't do this!

321
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,719
I pray to God you don't do this!"

322
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,137
You call that
a warning?

323
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:54,597
Hey, I predicted this.

324
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,140
You guys are nervous nellies

325
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:57,642
And you're trying to
blame it all on me.

326
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,060
I want out, Norm.

327
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,019
Me, too.

328
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,896
Who wants a tan
in the winter anyway?

329
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,523
Wait. This is not the smart move.

330
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,524
You got to hang in there.

331
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,067
You got to roll with
the punches, all right?

332
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,318
You're gonna roll
with the punches

333
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,528
if you don't
get us out of this.

334
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,738
I just don't think
that we're cut out for it.

335
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:11,989
Apparently not,
all right.

336
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,784
Jeez. Have it your way,
guys, okay?

337
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,744
All right,
tell you what, okay?

338
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,121
I'll personally
buy out your shares, all right?

339
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,831
I'll have your checks
in the mail within a week.

340
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,792
Stupid mistake.

341
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,961
Stupid. Stupid.

342
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:37,181
Woo! Boy!
Still snowing out there.

343
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:40,309
Yeah, and every flake
means another buck

344
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,396
in Norm's pocket.

345
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,731
You guys still moaning
because Norm hit the jackpot

346
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,732
and you didn't?

347
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,152
Hey, come on, Paul, give us
some credit for being adults, huh?

348
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,530
Hey, what do you say
we toilet paper his house?

349
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,991
Nah. It would only make it
look better.

350
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:01,080
Sam, excuse me,
may I have your ear for a moment?

351
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,374
Sure, just don't leave
any bite marks.

352
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:09,880
Sam, I've decided to break off
my relationship with chad.

353
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,924
Who?

354
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,427
What an actor you are.

355
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,137
If you hadn't chosen bartending,

356
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,973
you could well have had
a career in the theater.

357
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,058
Or as a model.

358
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,186
Anyway...

359
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,813
You needn't continue

360
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,815
this charade
of nonchalance.

361
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,650
I'm ending
my <i>affaire de coeur</i>

362
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:33,029
because I can sense how
it's secretly gnawing away at you.

363
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,407
Okay. All right.

364
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,075
I'm glad.

365
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,954
All I've been able to think about
is you and Chad

366
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,081
in your apartment,

367
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,084
in his car, on the stairs,

368
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:50,087
doing things even we never did.

369
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,715
I can't eat.
I can't sleep.

370
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,091
Oh, Sam. Really?

371
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,011
- Gee, maybe I could've been an actor.
- Oh!

372
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:02,975
Afternoon, everybody.

373
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,564
Norm!

374
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,442
Norman.

375
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,112
How do you feeling
today, Norm?

376
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,365
Rich and thirsty.
pour me a beer.

377
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,992
Yes, Sir, Mr. Peterson.

378
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,703
Boy, you sure have gotten
successful, huh?

379
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,247
Well, Woody, you know what
they say about success.

380
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,334
It's 1% inspiration
and 99% perspiration.

381
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,835
So's your shirt!

382
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:34,507
You know what else they say
about success, Mr. Rockeflounder...

383
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,927
It's lonely
at the top.

384
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,346
Yeah, but the food's
better, Cliff.

385
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:45,101
You don't have to
rub our noses in it, man.

386
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,477
I mean, we're your friends
after all.

387
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,105
Friends? You call yourselves friends?

388
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,941
The last four or five times
I've walked in here,

389
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,192
you treat me as if
I've done something wrong,

390
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,570
You know, not one of you guys

391
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,531
has bothered to congratulate me
for my success,

392
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,451
which I might add
you all had a chance to share in.

393
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:06,497
Maybe I should just take
my refreshment business elsewhere.

394
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,419
To think of all the hours
I wasted in here

395
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,838
when I could've been
wasting them somewhere else.

396
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:14,839
Norman, Norman,

397
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,340
please don't leave.

398
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,175
We're taking it
out on you,

399
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,969
but we're really
mad at ourselves.

400
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:22,638
The hostility you're feeling
is for our own stupidity

401
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,890
of bailing out
of this project.

402
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,684
Right, everyone?

403
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,314
You guys are beautiful.

404
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,233
Well, come on,
wait a second.

405
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,318
Come on back here.

406
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,820
We've been acting
like creeps, Normie.

407
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,780
I'll fluff up
your favorite stool.

408
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,574
I'll open a fresh bag
of pretzels.

409
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,993
I'll pour you a beer
just the way you like it--

410
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,202
Within reach.

411
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,331
What we're trying
to say here is...

412
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,958
We're sorry.

413
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,960
You had the guts
to stick it out,

414
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,087
and we didn't.

415
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,256
You deserve
all the success.

416
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,259
Thank you, Sam.
I'm really glad to hear that

417
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,887
because I have a little surprise
for you guys.

418
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,055
I never took you out
of Tan 'n' Wash at all.

419
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,933
And here are your first
dividend checks, right?

420
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,018
Oh, Norman!

421
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,478
Serious?

422
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,816
<i>For he's a jolly good fellow</i>

423
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,693
<i>For he's a jolly good fellow</i>

424
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:18,986
<i>For he's a jolly good...</i>

425
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,781
Cheers. It's for you.

426
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:22,782
Put them on hold.

427
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,951
<i>Which nobody can deny</i>

428
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,996
Hey, all right!

429
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,664
Look, it's snowing
even harder out now.

430
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:34,001
Oh, it's a harbinger
of good fortune!

431
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,795
You said it, bum butt!

432
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:41,217
Snow today
means dough tomorrow!

433
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,427
Let's carry Mr. Peterson
around the bar on our shoulders,

434
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:47,223
and then go play
in the snow.

435
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,724
Let's go play in the snow!

436
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,267
Hold it! hold it!

437
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,812
Last one out's a Clavin!

438
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:56,190
You're not gonna
get me this time!

439
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:59,610
Oh, I'm always
the Clavin!

440
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,030
Ah, Woody!

441
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,533
Woody, Woody,
look at them, huh?

442
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,369
Isn't that great.
they're singing and dancing.

443
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,454
It gives me a great feeling
all over

444
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:12,164
to do something good
for those people.

445
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaking of people,
you got one on hold here.

446
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:19,630
Hello.

447
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:20,840
Yeah. Hi.

448
00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:23,634
Oh, no.

449
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:25,886
No, get out. No!

450
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,346
What are you...

451
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,974
No, man, no!

452
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,600
Well, at least we...

453
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:32,768
No?

454
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:34,979
We...no!

455
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:37,064
Wait, wait, wait!

456
00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:43,195
Bad news, Mr. Peterson?

457
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,032
Wrong number, Woody.

458
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,660
Aren't those
annoying?

459
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:09,889
Uh...

460
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,515
Guys, friends...

461
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,934
Listen, people,
excuse me!

462
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,770
Listen, I know things have been
going just beautifully,

463
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:20,566
but...hey, would you stop
jumping up and down for a second?

464
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,151
Thank you.

465
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:25,154
Now, let's just take
a hypothetical situation.

466
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,156
Just for fun,

467
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,782
let's just say that the roof collapsed
over at Tan 'n' Wash

468
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,534
from the weight
of all this snow,

469
00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:32,494
and by some little quirk,
we didn't have any insurance.

470
00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:35,497
How would you guys
feel about that, huh?

471
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,296
Just checking.

