1
00:00:02,533 --> 00:00:04,533
It seems the way they've
designed the car alarm
2
00:00:04,566 --> 00:00:05,966
is so that the car
will behave
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,666
as if it was a nervous,
hysterical person.
4
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:11,066
Anyone goes near it,
anyone disturbs it...
5
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,000
[MIMICS SIREN WAILING]
6
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:16,566
Lights flashing on and off,
acting all crazy.
7
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,200
Not everyone wants to draw
that much attention
8
00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:20,000
to themselves.
Wouldn't it be nice if you could
9
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,000
have a car alarm that
was a little more subtle?
10
00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:23,133
Maybe just, you know,
11
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,700
somebody tries to break in,
and it goes...
12
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,900
[CLEARS THROAT]
13
00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:27,133
[LAUGHTER]
14
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:28,900
[CLEARS THROAT]
15
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,333
"Excuse me?"
16
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,964
I would like a car alarm
like that.
17
00:00:40,935 --> 00:00:42,602
Do you believe this?
18
00:00:42,635 --> 00:00:44,335
Car was parked
right out front.
19
00:00:44,368 --> 00:00:45,502
Was the alarm on?
20
00:00:45,535 --> 00:00:47,768
I don't know.
I guess it was on.
21
00:00:47,802 --> 00:00:49,302
I don't know
my alarm sound.
22
00:00:49,335 --> 00:00:52,102
I'm not tuned into it
like it's my son.
23
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,168
I don't understand.
24
00:00:53,202 --> 00:00:55,402
How do these thieves
start the car?
25
00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:57,668
They cross the wires
or something.
26
00:00:57,702 --> 00:00:58,835
Cross the wires?
27
00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:01,302
I can't even make
a pot of spaghetti.
28
00:01:01,335 --> 00:01:02,602
Hey.
29
00:01:02,635 --> 00:01:03,602
They stole my car.
30
00:01:03,635 --> 00:01:04,568
Who did?
31
00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:06,068
They did.
32
00:01:06,102 --> 00:01:06,161
What? Is there more
than just one?
33
00:01:06,161 --> 00:01:08,135
What? Is there more
than just one?
34
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:09,835
What should I do?
Call the police?
35
00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:13,102
What are they gonna do?
36
00:01:13,135 --> 00:01:14,735
You know, I'd better call
the car-phone company,
37
00:01:14,768 --> 00:01:17,568
cancel my service.
38
00:01:17,602 --> 00:01:19,802
Maybe you should
call your car phone.
39
00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:21,935
Yeah.
40
00:01:21,968 --> 00:01:24,335
He's probably driving
it right now.
41
00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:25,735
Wait a minute.
Call the car phone.
42
00:01:25,768 --> 00:01:27,502
See what happens.
43
00:01:27,535 --> 00:01:29,435
Are you serious?
Yeah, go ahead. Call.
44
00:01:29,468 --> 00:01:32,735
I don't even know
if I remember the number.
45
00:01:32,768 --> 00:01:35,468
What do I say
if he picks up?
46
00:01:35,502 --> 00:01:36,161
MAN: Hello.
47
00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:36,902
MAN: Hello.
48
00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:37,902
Hello.
49
00:01:37,935 --> 00:01:40,835
Is this 555-8383?
50
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,002
I have no idea.
51
00:01:43,035 --> 00:01:44,668
Can I ask you
a question?
52
00:01:44,702 --> 00:01:45,935
Sure.
53
00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:47,502
Did you steal my car?
54
00:01:47,535 --> 00:01:51,135
Yes, I did.
55
00:01:51,168 --> 00:01:53,468
You did?
I did.
56
00:01:53,502 --> 00:01:56,168
But that's my car.
I didn't know it was yours.
57
00:01:56,202 --> 00:01:59,068
What are you
gonna do with it?
58
00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:01,335
I don't know.
Drive around.
59
00:02:01,368 --> 00:02:02,835
Then can I have it back?
60
00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:05,968
Mmmm...
No, I'm gonna keep it.
61
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:06,161
Let me talk to him.
Give it, give it, give it.
62
00:02:06,161 --> 00:02:09,268
Let me talk to him.
Give it, give it, give it.
63
00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,268
Hello.
64
00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:11,635
Yeah, who's this?
65
00:02:11,668 --> 00:02:12,735
Kramer.
66
00:02:12,768 --> 00:02:14,168
Hello, Kramer.
67
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:17,068
Listen, there's a pair of gloves
in the glove compartment.
68
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:19,835
Wait, hold it.
69
00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:21,002
De, de, de-dee ♪
70
00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:22,002
Brown ones?
71
00:02:22,035 --> 00:02:23,602
Yeah.
72
00:02:23,635 --> 00:02:25,435
Listen, could you
mail those to me?
73
00:02:25,468 --> 00:02:28,635
Or bring them by my building.
It's 129 West 81st Street.
74
00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:30,068
129. Okay.
75
00:02:30,102 --> 00:02:32,168
All right, thanks a lot.
Here's Jerry.
76
00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:38,335
Gloves.
77
00:02:38,368 --> 00:02:40,935
Hello.
Jerry.
78
00:02:40,968 --> 00:02:43,135
Yeah. Let me ask you
a question.
79
00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:45,968
How do you cross those wires?
80
00:02:46,002 --> 00:02:48,235
I didn't cross any wires.
The keys were in it.
81
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,168
Sid left the keys
in the car.
82
00:02:50,202 --> 00:02:53,468
All right, I gotta go.
Drive carefully.
83
00:02:53,502 --> 00:02:55,902
Hey, Jerry, when's the last
time you had a tune-up?
84
00:02:55,935 --> 00:02:57,802
Because I can't find
the owner's--
85
00:02:57,835 --> 00:02:59,602
Sid left the keys
in the car.
86
00:02:59,635 --> 00:03:00,802
Who's Sid?
87
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:02,235
He's this guy
in the neighborhood.
88
00:03:02,268 --> 00:03:03,402
Parks cars on the block.
89
00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:04,435
What do you mean?
90
00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:06,161
He moves them
from one side to the other,
91
00:03:06,161 --> 00:03:06,235
He moves them
from one side to the other,
92
00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:07,302
so you don't
get ticketed.
93
00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:08,602
You pay him for that?
94
00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:10,268
Yeah. Like 50 bucks
a month.
95
00:03:10,302 --> 00:03:11,835
How many people
does he do that for?
96
00:03:11,868 --> 00:03:13,568
The whole block,
40, 50 cars.
97
00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:15,568
He only works
three hours a day.
98
00:03:15,602 --> 00:03:17,835
He makes a fortune.
99
00:03:17,868 --> 00:03:19,835
He's been doing that
for years, right, Jerry?
100
00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:21,602
Could anybody do that?
101
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:22,935
Hey, Sid,
what happened?
102
00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:24,768
I'm sorry, Jerry.
103
00:03:24,802 --> 00:03:26,935
Maybe I'm getting too old
for this stuff.
104
00:03:26,968 --> 00:03:28,768
You left the keys
in the car?
105
00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:30,135
Well, you know.
106
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,968
They're making that
Woody Allen movie on the block
107
00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:34,635
and all those people
and trucks everywhere
108
00:03:34,668 --> 00:03:36,161
and when I saw him, I must've
got a little distracted.
109
00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:37,102
and when I saw him, I must've
got a little distracted.
110
00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:38,435
You know I'm in that movie.
111
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,435
You're what?
112
00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:40,568
Yeah, I'm an extra.
113
00:03:40,602 --> 00:03:41,768
How'd you get that?
114
00:03:41,802 --> 00:03:43,402
Well, I was just watching
them film yesterday,
115
00:03:43,435 --> 00:03:45,335
and some guy just asked me.
116
00:03:45,368 --> 00:03:46,902
Right out of the clear blue sky?
117
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,902
Clear blue sky.
118
00:03:48,935 --> 00:03:50,068
Why didn't they ask me?
119
00:03:50,102 --> 00:03:52,135
I got a quality.
120
00:03:52,168 --> 00:03:54,902
Hey, Jerry,
you got insurance, right?
121
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:58,102
Yeah, but no car.
I'll have to rent one.
122
00:03:58,135 --> 00:04:00,235
I'm going to visit my sister
in Virginia next Wednesday
123
00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:02,235
for a week,
so I can't park it.
124
00:04:02,268 --> 00:04:03,235
This Wednesday?
125
00:04:03,268 --> 00:04:04,235
No, next Wednesday.
126
00:04:04,268 --> 00:04:05,568
Week after this Wednesday.
127
00:04:05,602 --> 00:04:06,161
But the Wednesday two days
from now
128
00:04:06,161 --> 00:04:07,668
But the Wednesday two days
from now
129
00:04:07,702 --> 00:04:09,168
is the next Wednesday.
130
00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:10,602
If I meant this Wednesday,
131
00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:12,235
I would've said,
"this Wednesday."
132
00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,002
It's the week
after this Wednesday.
133
00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:20,002
Sid, who's gonna move the cars
while you're away?
134
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:22,735
Whoever wants to move them.
What do I care who moves them?
135
00:04:22,768 --> 00:04:24,568
They can move themselves
if they want.
136
00:04:24,602 --> 00:04:26,835
Maybe I could move them
until you get back.
137
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:29,268
What's a young man like you
want to move cars for?
138
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,902
You don't work?
139
00:04:30,935 --> 00:04:32,835
I'm in a transition phase
right now.
140
00:04:32,868 --> 00:04:36,161
Well, if you want
to move the cars, move the cars.
141
00:04:36,161 --> 00:04:36,268
Well, if you want
to move the cars, move the cars.
142
00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:38,268
Just don't forget to take
the keys out. That's all
143
00:04:38,302 --> 00:04:39,668
All right.
144
00:04:39,702 --> 00:04:41,035
[PHONE RINGS]
145
00:04:42,768 --> 00:04:44,502
Hello.
146
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,768
Yeah, the defroster's
the one on the bottom.
147
00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:49,968
Just slide it all the way over.
148
00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:51,468
You're welcome.
149
00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:52,968
I'm in awe of
his intellect.
150
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,435
When he talks,
it sounds like
151
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,502
he's reading from
one of his novels.
152
00:04:56,535 --> 00:04:58,335
Owen March.
I never heard of him.
153
00:04:58,368 --> 00:04:59,968
Well, he's not
a baseball player.
154
00:05:00,002 --> 00:05:01,835
Yeah, that's true.
155
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,935
Well, so it sounds like it's
going pretty good.
156
00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:06,161
Yeah. Well, there is
one little problem.
157
00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:06,402
Yeah. Well, there is
one little problem.
158
00:05:06,435 --> 00:05:09,135
What's that?
He's 66 years old.
159
00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:11,568
WOMAN: Next, please.
160
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:15,235
Go. Go. She-- Go. Come on.
161
00:05:15,268 --> 00:05:17,268
Can I help you?
Name, please.
162
00:05:17,302 --> 00:05:20,468
Uh, Seinfeld. I made
a reservation for a midsize,
163
00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:23,002
and she's a small.
164
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:25,335
I'm kidding around,
of course.
165
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,902
Yes.
166
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,735
Okay,
let's see here.
167
00:05:28,768 --> 00:05:30,968
Sixty-six years old?
168
00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:33,268
Yeah, well, he's
in perfect health.
169
00:05:33,302 --> 00:05:36,161
He works out. He's vibrant.
You'd really like him.
170
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:36,235
He works out. He's vibrant.
You'd really like him.
171
00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:37,635
Why do people always
say that?
172
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,468
I hate everybody.
Why would I like him?
173
00:05:40,502 --> 00:05:41,568
So, what do you think?
174
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,135
Could you go out
with a 66-year-old woman?
175
00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:48,768
Well, I'll tell you, she would
have to be really vibrant.
176
00:05:48,802 --> 00:05:52,168
So vibrant
she'd be spinning.
177
00:05:52,202 --> 00:05:53,268
I'm sorry.
178
00:05:53,302 --> 00:05:55,335
We have no midsize
available at the moment.
179
00:05:55,368 --> 00:05:56,768
I don't understand.
I made a reservation.
180
00:05:56,802 --> 00:05:57,968
Do you have my
reservation?
181
00:05:58,002 --> 00:06:00,768
Yes, we do. Unfortunately,
we ran out of cars.
182
00:06:00,802 --> 00:06:04,235
But the reservation
keeps the car here.
183
00:06:04,268 --> 00:06:05,768
That's why you have
the reservation.
184
00:06:05,802 --> 00:06:06,161
I know why we have
reservations.
185
00:06:06,161 --> 00:06:08,402
I know why we have
reservations.
186
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,468
I don't think you do.
187
00:06:12,602 --> 00:06:16,835
If you did,
I'd have a car.
188
00:06:16,868 --> 00:06:18,935
See, you know how to take
the reservation.
189
00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:22,602
You just don't know
how to hold the reservation.
190
00:06:22,635 --> 00:06:25,135
And that's really
the most important part
191
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:27,768
of the reservation,
the holding.
192
00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:31,502
Anybody can
just take them.
193
00:06:31,535 --> 00:06:35,068
Let me speak
with my supervisor.
194
00:06:35,102 --> 00:06:36,161
Well, here we go.
195
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,235
Well, here we go.
196
00:06:37,268 --> 00:06:39,268
The supervisor.
197
00:06:39,302 --> 00:06:40,502
Know what she's saying
over there?
198
00:06:40,535 --> 00:06:41,502
What?
199
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,735
"Hey, Marge, see
those two people?
200
00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:44,568
"They think I'm talking to you.
201
00:06:44,602 --> 00:06:46,168
"So you pretend like
you're talking to me.
202
00:06:46,202 --> 00:06:48,168
Okay, now you start
talking."
203
00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:50,402
"You mean like this? So it
looks like I'm saying something,
204
00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:51,968
but I'm not really
saying anything at all?"
205
00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:54,568
"Okay. Now you say something
else, and they won't yell at me,
206
00:06:54,602 --> 00:06:56,768
because they thought
I was checking with you."
207
00:06:56,802 --> 00:06:59,468
"Okay, I think. I think that's
enough. See you later."
208
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,402
I'm sorry. My supervisor says
there's nothing we can do.
209
00:07:02,435 --> 00:07:05,835
Yeah, it looked like you were in
a real conversation over there.
210
00:07:05,868 --> 00:07:06,161
But we do have a compact
if you would like that.
211
00:07:06,161 --> 00:07:08,468
But we do have a compact
if you would like that.
212
00:07:08,502 --> 00:07:10,668
Fine.
All right.
213
00:07:10,702 --> 00:07:14,502
Well, we have a blue Ford
Escort for you, Mr. Seinfeld.
214
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,668
Would you like insurance?
215
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,502
Yeah, you better give me
the insurance,
216
00:07:17,535 --> 00:07:21,868
because I am gonna beat
the hell out of this thing.
217
00:07:24,135 --> 00:07:27,502
Please fill this out.
218
00:07:27,535 --> 00:07:28,668
So, what do you think?
219
00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:30,335
Do you think I'm making
a big mistake?
220
00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:32,635
Hey, if you enjoy being with
him, that's what's important.
221
00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:33,635
I love being with him.
222
00:07:33,668 --> 00:07:36,161
I mean,
I like being with him.
223
00:07:36,161 --> 00:07:37,168
I mean,
I like being with him.
224
00:07:37,202 --> 00:07:39,535
It's okay
being with him.
225
00:07:41,102 --> 00:07:42,468
I just don't enjoy
being with him.
226
00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:43,935
Well, that's
what's important.
227
00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:46,068
I'm meeting him for lunch
at Chadway's, around the corner.
228
00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:48,502
Do I have to break up
with him face to face,
229
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,302
or can I just do
it over the phone?
230
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:51,668
How many times have
you been out?
231
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:52,668
Seven.
232
00:07:52,702 --> 00:07:54,335
Face to face.
233
00:07:54,368 --> 00:07:56,835
Seven dates
is a face-to-face breakup?
234
00:07:56,868 --> 00:08:00,968
If it was six,
I could've let you go.
235
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,335
But seven, I'm afraid,
is over the limit.
236
00:08:04,368 --> 00:08:06,161
Unless, of course,
there was no sex.
237
00:08:06,161 --> 00:08:06,168
Unless, of course,
there was no sex.
238
00:08:06,202 --> 00:08:07,768
[HORNS HONKING,
CAR ALARMS WAILING OUTSIDE]
239
00:08:07,802 --> 00:08:08,968
Hmm.
240
00:08:12,168 --> 00:08:13,602
How's the pasta
over there?
241
00:08:15,535 --> 00:08:17,668
Hey-- Whoa! Whoa!
242
00:08:17,702 --> 00:08:19,235
What is going on
out there?
243
00:08:19,268 --> 00:08:20,802
I need, like,
a bucket of water.
244
00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:21,968
I got a car overheating.
245
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,668
I got an alarm
that won't go off.
246
00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:26,102
I'm pressing one.
I'm pressing two. Nothing.
247
00:08:26,135 --> 00:08:28,302
What do I do?
Help me. Help me.
248
00:08:29,602 --> 00:08:30,935
[KEYS JANGLE]
249
00:08:35,435 --> 00:08:36,161
Hey you know
they were supposed
250
00:08:36,161 --> 00:08:36,968
Hey you know
they were supposed
251
00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:38,435
to do my scene today.
252
00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:39,935
Today?
Yeah.
253
00:08:39,968 --> 00:08:41,735
You know they told me
that they wanted me
254
00:08:41,768 --> 00:08:43,768
to walk down the block carrying
this bag of groceries.
255
00:08:43,802 --> 00:08:48,102
So I start to walk, and I trip.
And the grocery bag goes flying
256
00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:50,502
and Woody--
Woody starts laughing.
257
00:08:50,535 --> 00:08:51,935
He was laughing?
258
00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:53,135
Oh, yeah. He was
drinking something.
259
00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:54,768
It started to come
out of his nose.
260
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:55,768
So then what?
261
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,602
I got a line
in the movie!
262
00:08:57,635 --> 00:08:59,135
Get out!
263
00:08:59,168 --> 00:09:00,268
That's great.
264
00:09:00,302 --> 00:09:02,102
Ha-ha!
265
00:09:02,135 --> 00:09:04,235
You got a line
in a Woody Allen movie?
266
00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:05,768
Pretty good, huh?
267
00:09:05,802 --> 00:09:06,161
You're in
the movie?
268
00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:06,968
You're in
the movie?
269
00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:10,102
Is he in the scene?
270
00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:11,935
Oh yeah, yeah.
It's me and him.
271
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,268
I might have a whole new
career on my hands, huh?
272
00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:16,768
You mean
"a career."
273
00:09:19,302 --> 00:09:21,168
So was
Mia Farrow there?
274
00:09:21,202 --> 00:09:22,268
I didn't see him.
275
00:09:24,768 --> 00:09:26,002
What's your line?
276
00:09:26,035 --> 00:09:28,502
Well, okay, I'm there
with Woody, you know.
277
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,402
I'm at this bar,
and, uh, I'm sit--
278
00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:32,835
You know it's Woody Allen.
Did I mention that?
279
00:09:32,868 --> 00:09:34,402
We got it.
We got it.
280
00:09:34,435 --> 00:09:35,735
And I'm sitting there
with Woody,
281
00:09:35,768 --> 00:09:36,161
and I say--
I turn to him and I go,
282
00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:37,768
and I say--
I turn to him and I go,
283
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,835
"Boy, these pretzels
are making me thirsty."
284
00:09:42,268 --> 00:09:44,735
Is that how you're
gonna say it?
285
00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:47,135
No, no. I'm working on it.
286
00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:49,402
Do it like this.
287
00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:52,235
"These pretzels are
making me thirsty"
288
00:09:52,268 --> 00:09:53,302
No.
289
00:09:53,335 --> 00:09:56,768
"These pretzels are
making me thirsty."
290
00:09:56,802 --> 00:09:58,502
No, no. See, that's no good.
291
00:09:58,535 --> 00:09:59,935
See, you don't know
how to act.
292
00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:02,668
"These pretzels...
293
00:10:04,202 --> 00:10:05,968
are making me thirsty!"
294
00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:11,002
Oh, that was no good?
295
00:10:11,035 --> 00:10:13,135
I didn't
say anything.
296
00:10:13,168 --> 00:10:15,668
All right, I'm gonna go
break up with Owen.
297
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,435
What was wrong
with that?
298
00:10:17,468 --> 00:10:19,935
I had a different
interpretation.
299
00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:22,335
Do you know anything
about this pretzel guy?
300
00:10:22,368 --> 00:10:24,402
Maybe he's been in the bar
a really long time
301
00:10:24,435 --> 00:10:26,835
and he's really depressed
because he has no job,
302
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:27,968
and no woman
303
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,068
and he's parking cars
for a living!
304
00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:33,235
All right! All right!
Shut up! Shut up!
305
00:10:33,268 --> 00:10:36,161
I hear you!
I'm coming down!
306
00:10:36,161 --> 00:10:36,668
I hear you!
I'm coming down!
307
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,668
These pretzels are
making me thirsty!
308
00:10:39,835 --> 00:10:41,402
Yeah!
309
00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:44,268
[HONKING, WAILING
CONTINUE OUTSIDE]
310
00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:47,102
[LOUD KNOCKING]
311
00:10:47,135 --> 00:10:49,802
Oh, my God.
312
00:10:49,835 --> 00:10:51,635
Call an
ambulance.
313
00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:55,502
Boy,
he took it hard.
314
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:57,635
ELAINE: We were walking
down the block
315
00:10:57,668 --> 00:11:00,235
right by your house, and I was
about to break up with him,
316
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,302
and then all of a sudden,
he started to twitch.
317
00:11:02,335 --> 00:11:05,268
Yes, I need an ambulance at 129
West 81st Street, Apartment 5A.
318
00:11:05,302 --> 00:11:06,161
Tell them to hurry.
Hurry!
319
00:11:06,161 --> 00:11:06,602
Tell them to hurry.
Hurry!
320
00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:09,802
It's an ambulance.
321
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,468
I don't know,
but he's unconscious.
322
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,768
These pretzels
are making me thirsty!
323
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:19,902
These pretzels
are making me thirsty!
324
00:11:19,935 --> 00:11:21,468
Kramer.
325
00:11:21,502 --> 00:11:22,502
What happened
here?
326
00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:23,935
I don't know.
What should we do?
327
00:11:23,968 --> 00:11:25,935
We called an ambulance.
Does anyone know first aid?
328
00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:27,602
Do something
with the extremities.
329
00:11:27,635 --> 00:11:29,568
What extremities?
What's an extremity?
330
00:11:29,602 --> 00:11:31,668
You raise the feet,
get blood to the head.
331
00:11:31,702 --> 00:11:34,102
You raise the head,
get blood to the feet.
332
00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:35,435
Okay, what about
a cold compress?
333
00:11:35,468 --> 00:11:36,161
They always do that.
334
00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:36,602
They always do that.
335
00:11:36,635 --> 00:11:37,602
I don't have
a washcloth.
336
00:11:37,635 --> 00:11:38,668
Use a paper towel.
337
00:11:38,702 --> 00:11:40,468
You can't put a paper
towel on his head.
338
00:11:40,502 --> 00:11:41,502
What about
a big sponge?
339
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,902
How you gonna hold it on?
Use a belt.
340
00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:45,402
No, no, no.
That'll--
341
00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:47,235
It'll drip
all over him.
342
00:11:47,268 --> 00:11:48,568
Should we
walk him around?
343
00:11:48,602 --> 00:11:49,668
I've seen
them do that.
344
00:11:49,702 --> 00:11:50,935
No, that's for
a drug overdose.
345
00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:52,435
Maybe that's
what he's got.
346
00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:53,802
No, I just had
lunch with him.
347
00:11:53,835 --> 00:11:55,468
He didn't leave
the table.
348
00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:58,168
Well, he could've dropped acid
when you weren't looking.
349
00:11:58,202 --> 00:12:01,268
He is not
a drug addict.
350
00:12:01,302 --> 00:12:02,435
Hey, maybe
he's diabetic.
351
00:12:02,468 --> 00:12:04,235
He might just need
a cookie or something.
352
00:12:04,268 --> 00:12:05,235
A cookie!
353
00:12:05,268 --> 00:12:06,161
Can you give him a cookie?
354
00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:06,402
Can you give him a cookie?
355
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,068
How's he gonna chew it?
356
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,835
We'll move his teeth.
It happened to my uncle.
357
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:15,235
The sugar
revived him.
358
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,568
Careful, you're getting
crumbs all over him.
359
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:18,802
I've got him chewing,
360
00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:20,735
but I don't think
he's gonna swallow.
361
00:12:20,768 --> 00:12:24,068
Let's put a few cookies in a
blender and he could drink it.
362
00:12:24,102 --> 00:12:25,235
Cookies don't liquefy.
363
00:12:25,268 --> 00:12:27,235
Yes they do. You can
liquefy a cookie.
364
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,235
I'll get
the blender.
365
00:12:28,268 --> 00:12:29,602
I don't have
a blender.
366
00:12:29,635 --> 00:12:30,835
You've got a blender.
367
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,435
I'd know
if I had a blender.
368
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:34,768
Where is
the ambulance?!
369
00:12:34,802 --> 00:12:36,161
[TIRES SCREECHING]
370
00:12:36,161 --> 00:12:36,502
[TIRES SCREECHING]
371
00:12:36,535 --> 00:12:39,702
[THUD,
GLASS SHATTERS]
372
00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:44,881
Hello, yes. I called
for an ambulance
373
00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:46,147
like 35 minutes ago.
374
00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,314
I can't believe
what's going on out here.
375
00:12:48,347 --> 00:12:50,481
This is an emergency.
What's taking so long?
376
00:12:50,514 --> 00:12:51,647
[INTERCOM BUZZING]
377
00:12:51,681 --> 00:12:53,447
Wait a second.
Maybe that's them.
378
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,547
Hello.
379
00:12:54,581 --> 00:12:55,614
MAN: Paramedics.
380
00:12:55,647 --> 00:12:58,414
Come on up.
Okay, they're here.
381
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:01,681
He seems
to be breathing.
382
00:13:05,014 --> 00:13:06,647
You know,
I got to tell you,
383
00:13:06,681 --> 00:13:08,447
he's a pretty
good-looking guy.
384
00:13:08,481 --> 00:13:09,881
I know.
385
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,081
Those eyebrows could
use a trimming.
386
00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:11,970
You ever mention
that to him?
387
00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:12,747
You ever mention
that to him?
388
00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:14,647
Almost.
389
00:13:14,681 --> 00:13:15,814
I mean, because,
come on,
390
00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:17,447
they're running wild there.
391
00:13:17,481 --> 00:13:19,047
It's not an easy
thing to bring up.
392
00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:20,947
Yeah, that's true.
393
00:13:20,981 --> 00:13:23,381
You should see his bathrobe,
man. It's all silk.
394
00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:24,947
Yeah. Does he
wear slippers?
395
00:13:24,981 --> 00:13:26,281
I bet he
wears slippers.
396
00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:28,281
He does.
How'd you know that?
397
00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:29,747
I could tell.
398
00:13:31,614 --> 00:13:33,547
What happened?
What took you so long?
399
00:13:33,581 --> 00:13:35,814
We got here 20 minutes ago,
but we couldn't move.
400
00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:37,214
The whole intersection
is gridlocked.
401
00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:38,914
I've never seen
anything like it.
402
00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:40,281
Finally we make the turn,
403
00:13:40,314 --> 00:13:41,970
and this guy who was running
around triple-parking cars
404
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:42,614
and this guy who was running
around triple-parking cars
405
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,414
slammed into us
with a blue Escort.
406
00:13:44,947 --> 00:13:46,414
Blue Escort?
407
00:13:46,447 --> 00:13:47,581
That's my rent-a-car!
408
00:13:47,614 --> 00:13:48,914
GEORGE: Oh, man.
409
00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:50,447
What happened
to the car?
410
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:53,447
I'm sorry. You don't know
what's going on out there!
411
00:13:53,481 --> 00:13:54,447
Who's he?
412
00:13:54,481 --> 00:13:56,114
This guy I'm seeing.
413
00:13:56,147 --> 00:13:57,647
GEORGE: What happened?
We don't know.
414
00:13:57,681 --> 00:13:59,147
Who put cookies
in his mouth?
415
00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:01,781
Cookies?
Cookies?
416
00:14:01,814 --> 00:14:04,114
You're not supposed
to do that.
417
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,481
JERRY:
So how'd you
hit the car?
418
00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:07,047
I was moving it
across the street.
419
00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:08,614
I looked up and I saw
Woody Allen.
420
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,214
I got all distracted.
421
00:14:10,247 --> 00:14:11,781
It's not even my car.
It's a rental.
422
00:14:11,814 --> 00:14:11,970
What are you doing
out there?
423
00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,981
What are you doing
out there?
424
00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:16,381
You're holding up
the production of the movie.
425
00:14:16,414 --> 00:14:18,714
We can't shoot, and Woody,
he's really mad at you.
426
00:14:18,747 --> 00:14:21,081
Woody mentioned me?
What did he say?
427
00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:25,081
He said, "Who's the moron who's
got the street all screwed up?"
428
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,114
Should I apologize to Woody?
429
00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,047
All right,
I'll tell you what.
430
00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:33,747
Next time I talk to him,
maybe I'll bring it up.
431
00:14:33,781 --> 00:14:36,414
I'll feel him out.
432
00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:39,947
What do you think first aid
was like hundreds of years ago?
433
00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:41,970
You know, I mean,
they had no medicine, no drugs
434
00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:43,447
You know, I mean,
they had no medicine, no drugs
435
00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:44,647
no technology, no equipment.
436
00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:46,414
Basically,
they were there first.
437
00:14:46,447 --> 00:14:49,447
That was it. That was the whole
first aid. They sit with you.
438
00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:51,714
That's all they could do.
"Can you help me?"
439
00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:55,047
"No, we can't help you,
but we were the first ones here.
440
00:14:55,081 --> 00:14:57,147
"Did you see our truck?
'First aid.' That's our motto.
441
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,481
[LAUGHTER]
442
00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,147
We show up before anybody."
443
00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,147
You didn't
tell me
444
00:15:01,181 --> 00:15:02,414
you didn't know
how to drive.
445
00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:03,714
Should've mentioned that.
446
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,714
Well, I know how to drive.
447
00:15:05,747 --> 00:15:07,814
Then how did all those cars
get damaged?
448
00:15:07,847 --> 00:15:11,381
Why are people calling me up,
screaming on the phone?
449
00:15:11,414 --> 00:15:11,970
Most of them
canceled out on me.
450
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:12,914
Most of them
canceled out on me.
451
00:15:12,947 --> 00:15:14,481
Can I get anybody anything?
452
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,714
Moving cars from one side
of the street to the other
453
00:15:16,747 --> 00:15:19,947
don't take no more sense
than putting on a pair of pants.
454
00:15:19,981 --> 00:15:22,781
My question to you is:
Who's putting your pants on?
455
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:26,381
I put my pants on, Sid.
456
00:15:26,414 --> 00:15:27,581
I don't believe you.
457
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:29,814
You can put your pants on,
you can move those cars.
458
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:33,281
I don't want to get into
a big dispute about the pants.
459
00:15:33,314 --> 00:15:35,481
Who's gonna send money
to my sister in Virginia?
460
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,481
Her little boy
needs surgery on his foot.
461
00:15:37,514 --> 00:15:39,314
Now he gonna be walking around
with a limp,
462
00:15:39,347 --> 00:15:41,970
because you can't park
a few cars.
463
00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:42,314
because you can't park
a few cars.
464
00:15:42,347 --> 00:15:44,314
Maybe I could call
my father.
465
00:15:44,347 --> 00:15:47,547
Hey, you seen
the paper yet?
466
00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:49,481
Interestingly enough, no,
467
00:15:49,514 --> 00:15:51,314
inasmuch as
it is my paper.
468
00:15:51,347 --> 00:15:52,647
Look there.
469
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:54,414
There's an article
about that writer.
470
00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:56,714
"Owen March, prominent author
and essayist,
471
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,381
"suffered a stroke
yesterday
472
00:15:58,414 --> 00:16:00,914
in the Upper West Side
apartment of a friend."
473
00:16:00,947 --> 00:16:03,647
That's the guy that was here.
You're the friend.
474
00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:07,614
Thanks. "The extent
of the damage would've been
475
00:16:07,647 --> 00:16:11,970
far less severe had paramedics
been able to reach him sooner."
476
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:12,814
far less severe had paramedics
been able to reach him sooner."
477
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,814
Oh, Lord.
478
00:16:14,847 --> 00:16:16,114
"The commotion also
delayed production
479
00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:19,114
"of a Woody Allen movie
that was shooting up the block.
480
00:16:19,147 --> 00:16:21,647
"A spokeswoman
for the legendary filmmaker
481
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,447
"said that Mr. Allen
was extremely agitated
482
00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:27,247
"and wondered if his days
of shooting movies in New York
483
00:16:27,281 --> 00:16:29,247
were over."
484
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:30,814
Five seconds.
485
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:34,614
Jerry, I was five seconds away
from breaking up with him.
486
00:16:34,647 --> 00:16:37,914
Five seconds! The next
words out of my mouth were,
487
00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:39,647
"Owen, it's over."
488
00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:40,814
Can he communicate?
489
00:16:40,847 --> 00:16:41,970
Yeah. Well, he nods.
490
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,381
Yeah. Well, he nods.
491
00:16:43,414 --> 00:16:45,214
And I think
he understands me.
492
00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:47,481
He seems to enjoy it
when I read to him.
493
00:16:47,514 --> 00:16:49,081
Phew.
494
00:16:49,114 --> 00:16:50,314
All right, she's free.
495
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:56,247
Hi, I called before.
My car got smashed.
496
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,414
So, listen,
what should I do?
497
00:16:57,447 --> 00:16:59,247
I mean, if I break up
with him now,
498
00:16:59,281 --> 00:17:01,914
it'll look like I'm abandoning
him because of his condition.
499
00:17:01,947 --> 00:17:03,814
I'll be ostracized
from the community.
500
00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:06,147
What community?
There's a community?
501
00:17:06,181 --> 00:17:07,714
Of course there's
a community.
502
00:17:07,747 --> 00:17:10,581
All these years, I'm living
in a community, I had no idea.
503
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,970
Sir, the estimate on the damage
to your car is 2866 dollars.
504
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:15,614
Sir, the estimate on the damage
to your car is 2866 dollars.
505
00:17:15,647 --> 00:17:18,047
Ooh, well, I got the insurance
and everything, so--
506
00:17:18,081 --> 00:17:20,247
Yes. In your report, you said
you were not the driver
507
00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:21,414
at the time of the accident.
508
00:17:21,447 --> 00:17:23,714
That is right.
It was somebody else.
509
00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:25,647
All right, well, sir,
you're only covered
510
00:17:25,681 --> 00:17:27,114
for when you're
driving the car.
511
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,447
Mm-hm. What's that?
512
00:17:30,481 --> 00:17:32,881
You're not covered
for other drivers.
513
00:17:32,914 --> 00:17:34,081
Other drivers?
Mm-hm.
514
00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:35,714
Your whole business is based
on other drivers.
515
00:17:35,747 --> 00:17:37,247
It's a rented car.
516
00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:39,814
That's who's driving it.
Other drivers.
517
00:17:39,847 --> 00:17:41,714
Doesn't my credit card
cover me or something?
518
00:17:41,747 --> 00:17:41,970
Not that
particular one.
519
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,481
Not that
particular one.
520
00:17:43,514 --> 00:17:44,714
I got a hundred cards.
521
00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:47,581
Here, here. Pick a card.
Take any card you want.
522
00:17:47,614 --> 00:17:49,381
Go ahead. Whichever one.
I don't care.
523
00:17:49,414 --> 00:17:52,381
Really, sir, if you had read
the rental agreement--
524
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:53,981
Did you see the size
of that document?
525
00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:55,547
It's like the Declaration
of Independence.
526
00:17:55,581 --> 00:17:57,547
Who's gonna read that?
527
00:17:57,581 --> 00:17:58,914
Mr. Seinfeld,
as it stands right now,
528
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,747
you are not covered
for that damage
529
00:18:00,781 --> 00:18:04,914
and there is absolutely nothing
that can be done about that.
530
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:08,947
These pretzels
are making me thirsty.
531
00:18:15,647 --> 00:18:20,081
Ahhh. It's good,
isn't it?
532
00:18:20,114 --> 00:18:23,047
Yankee bean.
533
00:18:23,081 --> 00:18:25,647
Why "Yankee" bean, huh?
534
00:18:25,681 --> 00:18:29,081
Don't they have beans
in the South?
535
00:18:29,114 --> 00:18:32,414
I mean, if you order Yankee bean
in the South, are they offended?
536
00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:33,481
Huh?
537
00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,814
[LAUGHS]
538
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:39,547
♪ Yankee bean
Yankee bean ♪
539
00:18:39,581 --> 00:18:41,970
♪ I like my Yankee ♪
540
00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:43,881
♪ I like my Yankee ♪
541
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,147
♪ Bean ♪
542
00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:48,447
[SIGHS]
543
00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:53,147
[CLEARS THROAT]
544
00:18:54,814 --> 00:18:56,647
Owen...
545
00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:05,047
I think we have to talk.
546
00:19:05,081 --> 00:19:08,281
I mean, uh, I have to talk.
547
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,970
It would be nice if we could,
but, you know, whatever.
548
00:19:11,970 --> 00:19:12,314
It would be nice if we could,
but, you know, whatever.
549
00:19:13,814 --> 00:19:15,714
Um...
550
00:19:15,747 --> 00:19:17,747
Don't get me wrong.
551
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:21,714
I like coming here
and feeding you
552
00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:25,447
and cleaning a little,
and paying your bills.
553
00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:27,214
I mean, that's good stuff.
554
00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:28,881
Good stuff.
555
00:19:28,914 --> 00:19:30,981
[CLEARS THROAT]
556
00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:35,181
I have a wonderful time
when I'm with you. Wonderful!
557
00:19:36,614 --> 00:19:40,214
But at this point in my life,
I'm not really sure
558
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,970
that I'm ready to make
a commitment to one person.
559
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:45,047
that I'm ready to make
a commitment to one person.
560
00:19:45,081 --> 00:19:48,581
I'm just not really sure
that we have enough in common.
561
00:19:48,614 --> 00:19:51,481
I mean, for example:
562
00:19:51,514 --> 00:19:54,914
I like running in the park,
563
00:19:54,947 --> 00:19:56,614
bicycling,
564
00:19:56,647 --> 00:20:01,547
roller-skating,
tennis and, uh, skiing.
565
00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:04,081
And, um, well,
566
00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:07,581
I'm gonna be brutally
honest with you now.
567
00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:11,581
It's a bitch to get here.
It's two subways.
568
00:20:11,614 --> 00:20:11,970
I have to transfer at 42nd
Street to take the double-R.
569
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:16,481
I have to transfer at 42nd
Street to take the double-R.
570
00:20:16,514 --> 00:20:20,447
Anyway, I mean, this doesn't
mean we can't be friends.
571
00:20:22,414 --> 00:20:25,947
These pretzels
are making me thirsty.
572
00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:33,714
Can you die
from an odor?
573
00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:37,614
I mean, like, if you were locked
in a vomitorium for two weeks
574
00:20:37,647 --> 00:20:39,047
could you actually die
from the odor?
575
00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:41,970
An overdose of odor.
Good question.
576
00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:42,047
An overdose of odor.
Good question.
577
00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:45,881
Do I smell?
578
00:20:45,914 --> 00:20:49,547
No, no, no. I was just down
at the 42nd Street subway today.
579
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,214
It is disgusting.
580
00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:53,981
Guess who I bumped
into? Owen.
581
00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:55,214
Ah.
582
00:20:55,247 --> 00:20:56,281
He's all right?
583
00:20:56,314 --> 00:20:58,381
Yeah, he's almost
fully recovered.
584
00:20:58,414 --> 00:21:01,881
Told me he was just
using me for sex.
585
00:21:01,914 --> 00:21:03,781
Let me get that.
586
00:21:03,814 --> 00:21:05,147
No, no, no.
I got it.
587
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,581
Please.
Come on. Let me.
588
00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:07,914
I smashed your car.
589
00:21:07,947 --> 00:21:09,314
It cost you
over 2000 dollars.
590
00:21:09,347 --> 00:21:11,347
Yeah, a cup of coffee
should cover it.
591
00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:14,981
Oh, man.
592
00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:17,314
What are you
doing here?
593
00:21:17,347 --> 00:21:18,747
I got fired
from the movie.
594
00:21:18,781 --> 00:21:20,547
Get out of here. What?
What?
595
00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:23,381
Well, you know, they were
gonna shoot it today.
596
00:21:23,414 --> 00:21:26,981
We rehearsed it twice, and
then Woody yells, "Action."
597
00:21:27,014 --> 00:21:28,547
I turn to him
and I say,
598
00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:30,647
[IN UNISON]
"These pretzels are
making me thirsty."
599
00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:31,647
Right.
600
00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,147
Then I took
a swig of beer
601
00:21:34,181 --> 00:21:36,147
and I slammed the glass
down on the bar,
602
00:21:36,181 --> 00:21:37,214
and it shattered.
603
00:21:37,247 --> 00:21:39,481
Ohhh.
604
00:21:39,514 --> 00:21:41,970
Well, one of the pieces
must've hit Woody,
605
00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:43,114
Well, one of the pieces
must've hit Woody,
606
00:21:43,147 --> 00:21:45,481
and he started crying.
607
00:21:45,514 --> 00:21:49,447
And he yells out,
"I'm bleeding," and he runs off.
608
00:21:49,481 --> 00:21:51,614
Anyway, this woman, she came up
to me, and she says,
609
00:21:51,647 --> 00:21:53,614
"You're fired."
610
00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:55,847
Boy, I really
nailed that scene.
611
00:22:01,314 --> 00:22:02,981
Oh, wait a--
612
00:22:03,014 --> 00:22:06,314
Oh. Oh, for crying
out loud.
613
00:22:06,347 --> 00:22:08,647
[♪]
614
00:22:17,612 --> 00:22:19,571
The best part of a relationship
is when you're sick.
615
00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:21,271
And the best part of being sick
616
00:22:21,304 --> 00:22:22,604
is when you're
in a relationship.
617
00:22:22,638 --> 00:22:24,771
But if I was to get married,
you know those vows,
618
00:22:24,804 --> 00:22:27,304
"for richer or for poorer,
for better or for worse."
619
00:22:27,338 --> 00:22:30,271
All I need is the sickness.
That is the most important one.
620
00:22:30,304 --> 00:22:34,604
"Do you take this man
in sickness?"
621
00:22:34,638 --> 00:22:36,304
That's the only time
I need somebody there.
622
00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:38,304
The rest of the time, go out,
have a ball.
623
00:22:38,338 --> 00:22:39,571
Do whatever you want.
624
00:22:39,604 --> 00:22:42,404
But if I get the sniffles,
you better be there.
625
00:22:42,438 --> 00:22:44,104
[♪]