1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,588 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,517 Buon giorno, Norm. 3 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,019 Cliff ie. 4 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,354 Yeah. 5 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:24,608 - Kind of bright out there today, huh? - Yeah, I wouldn't know. 6 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,276 Yeah. 7 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:29,947 I feel sorry for all those people that have to squint. 8 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,535 Say, Cliff, those wouldn't be new glasses, would they? 9 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,912 Oh, hey, you noticed, huh? 10 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:40,749 Yeah, Italian imports. Sixty-five smack-a-roonies. 11 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,585 That's right. Notice the sleek, European styling there, 12 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,837 the sturdy reinforced frames, 13 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,382 and the hi-tech, shatterproof reflective lenses 14 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,133 that allow me to scope out the dollies 15 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,220 without drawing attention to myself. 16 00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,932 You could walk up to them naked with your hair on fire 17 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,476 and not draw attention to yourself. 18 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:04,648 Yeah? What would you know? They only work on women. 19 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,149 You! 20 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,319 They seem to have given you courage. 21 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,407 - Prove it. - Well, what do you mean? 22 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,159 Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing a little demonstration myself. 23 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,328 - So... - All right, all right. 24 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,122 All right. All right! 25 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,833 You've got the shades. What are you worrying about? 26 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,469 Excuse me. 27 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,264 Oh, perfect! 28 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,442 Thanks. 29 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:08,522 Well, I don't care what anybody says, we had better chatter out there. 30 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,899 Shut up, Cliff. 31 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:15,404 Sounds suspiciously as if there is no joy in Mudville. 32 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:18,448 Who gives a damn? We lost. 33 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,661 We didn't lose. We got dumped on. 34 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,455 We were dragged by our noses through the dung heap. 35 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,916 They ripped out our guts, held them up for us to see, 36 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,669 and then they rammed them down our throats. 37 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,880 It's a grand old game. 38 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,507 Damn! 39 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,843 Now I know why they weren't afraid to let me play. 40 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,136 They were great out there. 41 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,555 They were like the '27 Yankees. 42 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,850 He's exaggerating. There were only nine of them. 43 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,603 Come on, guys. We can't just sit around crying in our beer here. 44 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,355 - Norman's right. - We don't have any. 45 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:53,358 Come on, Diane, step on it, will you. I feel a tear welling up here. 46 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,278 What the hell? First round on the house. 47 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,363 Hey, Sammy! 48 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,867 Yeah, well, if you think I'm drinking with you guys, you're nuts! 49 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:05,829 I'd rather drink with those snail pellets from Gary's Old Towne Tavern. 50 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,290 - At least they're winners. - That really hurts, Carla. 51 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,709 Hey, really, I don't think we played so bad, you know. 52 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,087 - Listen to Mr Gold Glove over here. - Come on! 53 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,339 Yeah? You drew more flies than bad liver. 54 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,841 Oh, give me a break! 55 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,095 The only thing more amazing than that was you dropped every one of them. 56 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:26,683 Come on, will you. I just have a little problem with balls hit directly at me. 57 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,643 The... 58 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,479 I think it's probably the sun, you know, 59 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,023 or that I can't bend over. 60 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,776 Poor Norman. 61 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:41,239 Well, at least some of us looked good out there, huh? 62 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,828 Yeah, Cliff, the less of your face showing, the better. 63 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,289 Oh, listen to yourselves. 64 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:54,002 You're letting a minor setback in some trivial competition 65 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,671 ruin what is an otherwise lovely day. 66 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,134 Forget it, Sam. 67 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,094 You just don't get it, do you? 68 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:08,475 It's not just that the guys from Gary's beat us at basketball, volleyball, darts 69 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,269 and every other sport known to mankind. 70 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,355 It's more than that. 71 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,898 I'm a jock. 72 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,692 This is a jock bar, but if we keep losing, 73 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,487 all the jocks are gonna say, "Hey, Cheers is for losers. 74 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,155 Let's go drink over at Gary's." 75 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,949 Oh, they'll never say that. 76 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,117 They'll say, "Me no like Cheers. 77 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,161 Let's go to Gary's." 78 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,886 Gentlemen of Cheers. And ladies. 79 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,974 - Tough game out there today. - What are you doing here? 80 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,433 Boy, you guys have the worst luck. 81 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,478 Yeah, it looks like it just followed us home, huh? 82 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,481 Listen, we were over having a celebration at my little tavern 83 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,401 and I kept thinking, "Something's missing." 84 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,195 It wasn't as happy as it usually is when we beat you. 85 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,656 And then I realized what it was. 86 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,784 I didn't get a chance to thank you guys for the game. 87 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,954 So I came over here to do it now. 88 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,331 Way to go. 89 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,418 The pop-up king. 90 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,379 Many thanks. 91 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,798 Great glasses. 92 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,305 This is what I was afraid of. 93 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,724 Hard feelings. 94 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,350 What are you talking about? 95 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,061 You guys have nothing to hang your heads about. 96 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,648 You played hard. You played clean. You gave it your all. 97 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,944 Just remember, it takes two sides to make a victory. 98 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,740 One side to win and you guys. 99 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:51,995 Excuse me, but you've obviously come here to belittle my friends. 100 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,580 Why? I can only speculate. 101 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,459 Perhaps you're compensating for some physical shortcoming. I don't know. 102 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:05,842 But it's tragic that you place such stock in a silly competition. 103 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,845 What of higher attainments? What of loftier pursuits? 104 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:12,223 What of art? And philosophy? What of music? 105 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,312 I graduated magna cum laude in American Literature from Princeton. 106 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,815 Oh? Couldn't make summa? 107 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:27,072 Hey, look, Gar. You only came here to rub our noses in it. 108 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,908 You've done a great job. Mission accomplished. Now why don't you take off. 109 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,826 - Yeah, take a hike. - Sam, 110 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,871 I came here in the spirit of sportsmanship. 111 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,083 I'll show you sportsmanship. 112 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,543 People! People! 113 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:46,508 This is neither the time nor the place for such childish behavior. 114 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,260 Yeah, let's save it for when we kick his butt. 115 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:53,014 In what? We're kind of running out of sports, aren't we? 116 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,312 Well, it's really been a truly enjoyable afternoon. 117 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,939 Gentlemen, ladies. 118 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,273 - See you. - Hey, hey, hey. 119 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,943 Listen, I'll have you know that I'm putting together a team 120 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,446 right this moment, that's gonna have you shaking in those shoes of yours. 121 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,408 Hey, those are nice. 122 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,661 Well, thanks. And is that a challenge? 123 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,122 - Yeah. - In what sport? 124 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,290 I'll tell you in what sport. 125 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,792 In... 126 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,585 - Bowling. - Yeah, bowling. 127 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:26,089 Great! I've knocked down a pin or two in my day. 128 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,466 - When and where? - Well, I'll just let you know. 129 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,260 - Okay? - Okay. 130 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,594 Okay. 131 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:32,929 - Okay. - Okay! 132 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,514 - Okay! - Okay! 133 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,933 - Okay! - Okay! 134 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,812 Bowling? 135 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,940 Don't worry. I got this theory, Sam. 136 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:48,778 You see, all of those other sports required real athletic ability, 137 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,823 but with bowling, we got the makings of a great team! 138 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,825 - Oh, Carla, I... - Oh, listen, listen! 139 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,369 You go to any bowling alley, what do you see? 140 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,747 A bunch of out-of-shape couch potatoes 141 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,666 who do nothing but sit around and swill beer. 142 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,252 All right, we're number one! 143 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,264 Back so soon from the sport of the great unwashed? 144 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,061 How was the audition? 145 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,270 Tryout. 146 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,690 Diane, in sports, it's called a tryout. 147 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,485 - We got a team. - Yeah, of what, I'd like to know. 148 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,071 I'm gonna call Gary and call it off. 149 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:37,368 I'm telling you, when one lousy bar can't produce four decent bowlers, 150 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,956 it's time for America to take a long, hard look at itself. 151 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,508 Hey, you! 152 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,178 You don't know anything about bowling, do you? 153 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,603 Hey, Woodhead... 154 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,189 I asked you if you know how to bowl. 155 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,572 You have bowled, haven't you? 156 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,575 - Yes. - When? 157 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,744 - When? - Before. 158 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:23,373 - Before what? - Before I came to Cheers. 159 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,500 You're good, aren't you? 160 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,130 I won a couple trophies. 161 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:34,551 Sammy. Sam, Sam, don't-- Don't call it off! 162 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,386 What? What? Hold on a second. 163 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,304 - We got a ringer. - Got a what? 164 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,723 We got a ringer. Woody. Woody is a bowling machine. 165 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,226 Trust me. He's got a room full of trophies. 166 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:48,648 Hey, Gar. No, we're not wimping out. 167 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,275 Yeah, tomorrow. 168 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,611 Vic's Bowl-A-Rama. We rumble. 169 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,364 Okay! 170 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,158 Okay! 171 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,786 - All right, Woody! - Woody! 172 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,663 Please don't ask me to bowl. I can't. 173 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,456 Why not? 174 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,626 The tragedy. 175 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,379 - Well, what tragedy? - What tragedy? 176 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:16,885 Once I maimed a man in a bowling accident. 177 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,430 I'll never bowl again as long as I live. 178 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,148 Great idea, Sam. Bowling. 179 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:44,245 Okay, it's time to go. 180 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,497 Let's see if we can, you know, 181 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,710 maybe somehow manage not to embarrass ourselves. 182 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,213 Ladies and gentlemen, Knute Rockne. 183 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,716 Come on, let's go. I wanna warm up. 184 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,012 Hold on a second, guys. 185 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,307 Say, Woody, it's still not too late to change your mind. 186 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,978 Don't you understand? I maimed a man. 187 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:13,107 Bowling accidents happen. You read about them in the paper all the time. 188 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,112 He was only an innocent maintenance man. 189 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,907 Come on, man. He knew the risks. 190 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,493 I still don't know what happened. 191 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:26,996 One minute, I was picking up the eight-ten split, 192 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,582 and the next thing I know, the ten pin flies 193 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,584 and hits old Sully right between the eyes 194 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,504 and he goes down like a sack of wheat. 195 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,674 Sam, I ruined the man's life. 196 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,635 - I'm sure you're exaggerating. - Oh, no. No, I'm not. 197 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:44,055 Old Sully got too dim-witted to stay in bowling maintenance. 198 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:48,643 Last I heard, he was a clown at children's birthday parties. 199 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,271 - Well, what's wrong with that? - He wasn't invited to them. 200 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,732 Come on, Woody. 201 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,986 Listen, man, I've never begged for anything in my life 202 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,530 that I actually enjoyed once I got it. 203 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,075 Come on. 204 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:07,120 Please. Come on, join the team here. 205 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,122 We need you, Woody. Come on. 206 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:13,251 I can't! Since the accident, I haven't been able to set foot in a bowling alley. 207 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,336 Well, why don't you just try it today. 208 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,963 Maybe the memory's faded. 209 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:21,676 - You don't understand what's at stake. - Can't you hear me? No! 210 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,847 Sammy, I'll take a crack at him here. 211 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,057 Listen to me, all right? 212 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:32,312 Now, every once in a while you just gotta look beyond yourself, okay? 213 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,856 And think about the team. 214 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,358 Like my old high school football coach used to always say: 215 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:40,361 "Give the ball to Peterson. He'll know what to do with it." 216 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,530 Well, hey, I didn't want that responsibility, 217 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,742 but for the good of the team, you understand, 218 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,285 I took it. 219 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,787 We went ahead and we had a great season. 220 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,749 - Were you the fullback? - No, I was the equipment manager. 221 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,917 - But that's not my point. - Oh, come on, Norm. 222 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,961 You're wasting your breath. He ain't bowling. 223 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,921 All right, think about that, Woody. 224 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,023 Go team! 225 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,322 Yeah! Not too shabby. 226 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,282 Old Towne Tavern! Old Towne Tavern! 227 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,117 Old Towne Tavern! 228 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,328 - Old Towne Tavern! - Quiet, you guys. 229 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,164 Let's show our worthy opponent a little courtesy. 230 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,584 Back off, buster, or I'll put Vaseline in your finger holes. 231 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,628 Just try to touch my ball. 232 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,089 I'm talking about your nose. 233 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,648 - Choke on it! - Choke on it! 234 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:02,443 You got the cheering under control. I'll mosey up to the bar for a beer. 235 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,655 - You're gonna miss the game, Norm. - Then that's a perfect plan, huh? 236 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,241 Hey, Cliff ie, how're we doing here? 237 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:12,495 Fifty pins down, sinking like a stone, Sammy. 238 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,835 - Norm! - How the hell they know him here? 239 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,503 He's got a life, you know. 240 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,966 That's all right, man. It's okay. It's okay. 241 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,509 Hey, Tawny, 242 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,762 has anyone ever told you you make even bowling shoes look sexy? 243 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:33,099 Don't you ever stop? You're fraternizing with the enemy. 244 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,436 No, I'm just trying to distract her here so she won't know what to do. 245 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,729 A little wink, a sexy nod, 246 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,608 and a glimpse of these taut athletic buns. 247 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:46,028 Oh, wait a second here, Tawny. Oh, what's this? 248 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,626 I think your butt needs a tune-up. 249 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,337 - Sam. - Hey, what're you doing here? 250 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,755 I'm here as a driver only, 251 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,300 but I brought someone with me who'd like to bowl. 252 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,094 - Woody! - Woody! 253 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,596 Hey, time out, Gary. 254 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,937 - Who's taking care of the bar here? - Oh, don't worry. We closed it. 255 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,024 We would have been here sooner, but it took a while to get those people out. 256 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,485 Oh, well, great. Yeah. 257 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,070 All right, go get some shoes on here. 258 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,156 Woody! 259 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,744 - What made him change his mind? - I don't know. 260 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,830 He was right in the middle of doing something and he said, 261 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,042 - "I can't let the guys down. Let's go.' - Hey, Woody! 262 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:43,211 How are we gonna do this? We've already started here. 263 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,339 - Cliff, what about your wrist injury? - What injury? 264 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,216 Don't make me hurt you. 265 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,803 Easy, easy. 266 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,640 Gary, we're gonna need an injury substitution here. 267 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,391 Hey, you got it. 268 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,685 The one thing I've never been called is unfair. 269 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,271 I can believe that's the one thing you've never been called. 270 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,025 All right, I'm gonna go fire Woody up here. 271 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,904 The alleys. Thanks. 272 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,281 It's really a sensory experience, you know. 273 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,618 The scent of Aqua Net on a beehive hairdo. 274 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,412 The roar of polyester against old Naugahyde. 275 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,376 The sight of a cigarette stubbed out in a patty melt. 276 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:28,172 All this, plus the anticipation of placing your feet in shoes 277 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:31,050 only 7,000 others have worn before you. 278 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,553 Woody! Yeah! 279 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,680 All right! Let's go! 280 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,476 Listen, if this is gonna be tough on you, 281 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,603 I want you to know that you don't have to do this. 282 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,565 - No, I want to, Sam. - You're absolutely sure? 283 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,485 Oh, I'm sure. You all have been like family to me. 284 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,697 I love you guys. 285 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,575 Okay, all right, Woody. 286 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,036 - Watch this, Gar. - Yeah. 287 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,183 If you're having second thoughts, that's okay, pal. 288 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,810 No, no, I want to do this. 289 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,772 - Okay, I'm ready. - All right. All right. 290 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,628 - Woody? - I wanna do this, Sam. 291 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:49,837 Remember, I love you guys. 292 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,589 I'm ready, Sam. 293 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,174 It's okay, Woody. 294 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,884 I'm gonna bowl. 295 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,678 I don't know what I was worried about. This is easy. 296 00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:01,766 Those guys are dead meat. You know what I'm saying, Sam? 297 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,817 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 298 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,279 Old Towne Tavern! Old Towne Tavern! 299 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,447 Old Towne Tavern! 300 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,741 Old Towne Tavern! 301 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,703 - Hey, nice game, Sam. - Oh, get out of here. 302 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,289 We said two out of three, and we're taking you to the wall. 303 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,749 That's right! 304 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:30,836 All right, all of you in favor of saving what shred of dignity we have left 305 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,756 and sneaking out of here, raise your hands. 306 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,175 That's one... 307 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,262 Hey, how come you voted? You're not even playing. 308 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,765 I thought we were ordering pizza. 309 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,228 Sam, we can't quit. 310 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:51,273 Listen, Sam, maybe we can sweeten the pot a little. 311 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,276 - Get out of here, will you. - No, no, no. 312 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,862 If you guys win, 313 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,072 I'll set you up with Tawny. 314 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,368 Maybe we can talk. 315 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,245 And if we win, 316 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:09,458 you set me up with the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi. 317 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,293 Excuse me. 318 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,881 I didn't date Sigma Chis. 319 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,508 I was Phi Epsilon Delta. 320 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,468 You girls had quite a reputation. 321 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,888 Yes, for academic achievement. 322 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,391 Is that what it was? 323 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:29,186 Tell me, isn't it true that Phi Epsilon is Greek for "Hi, sailor"? 324 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,191 Give me your shoes. Give me your shoes. 325 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:37,653 - Oh, Diane, are you bowling? - Yes. 326 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:40,865 - Come on. Well, are you any good? - Yes. 327 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:44,326 And if you whisper a word of this to anyone who matters, 328 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,287 I'll find you and I'll kill you. 329 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:51,834 Did you think I came by my utter contempt for the sport by accident? 330 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,335 Hardly. 331 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,628 I took it in college. 332 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,798 - You bowled in college? - Yes. 333 00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,425 I needed the PE credits. 334 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:04,680 I could read between frames, and you didn't have to run. 335 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:08,809 I spent six semesters sweating in a tawdry bowling alley. 336 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,895 Bowlers don't sweat. 337 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,398 They do when they're wearing tweed. 338 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,859 In spite of my complete disdain for the experience, 339 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:20,863 I have no intention of letting this Ivy League lounge lizard 340 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:24,450 insult me and my sorority sisters 341 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:29,246 and send Cheers to ignominious defeat. 342 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,814 Your mama! 343 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,860 Chambers! Chambers! 344 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,822 Chambers! Chambers! Chambers! 345 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,536 - Chambers! Chambers! - Thank you! Thank you! 346 00:22:08,702 --> 00:22:10,287 Now put me down! 347 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,790 I'm afraid of heights, and someone has very cold hands. 348 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:16,836 Okay, everybody, line up. I'm pouring beers. 349 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,966 I gotta hand it to you, Whitey. 350 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,300 For once, you did something 351 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,762 that didn't make me wanna shove a rat in your mouth and sew your lips shut. 352 00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:30,933 Such praise. I blush. 353 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:34,645 - Congratulations, Sam. - Yeah. Thank you. 354 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,441 Oh, excuse me. Continue celebrating. Huzzah, huzzah. 355 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,532 - It was a great win, wasn't it, Sam? - Yeah, it was. 356 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,285 - Thanks to you. - Oh, don't thank me. 357 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:53,372 I've been amply rewarded just seeing how well you're taking this. 358 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,292 The old Sam Malone would have died 359 00:22:56,458 --> 00:23:00,337 before letting a woman salvage his athletic pride. 360 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,841 - You've grown. - You know something? 361 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:07,219 I think I have. Oh, by the way. 362 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,015 Tawny wasn't the only one looking sexy out there in bowling shoes. 363 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,937 - Well, thank you. - No, oh, no, no. I was talking about me. 364 00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,483 You know, I'm surprised you didn't mention something. 365 00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,444 No, seriously, seriously. 366 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,613 Great form out there. 367 00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,074 - Thank you. - No, no, I was still talking about me. 368 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:34,246 All right, all jokes aside here, thank you very much 369 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,707 for helping me beat Gary. 370 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,918 Well, 371 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:43,130 I was getting tired of listening to some ignorant blowhard 372 00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:47,134 take himself and some stupid competition so seriously. 373 00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:48,969 Boy, he really does that, doesn't he? 374 00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:51,138 No, I was talking about you.