1
00:00:00,626 --> 00:00:03,462
Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:05,422
Checkmate. You lose.

3
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:08,884
5,730-year half-life
of carbon-14

4
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,761
is used as a geochronometer.

5
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:11,929
Anything else you'd like to add?

6
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,431
I read this magazine.

7
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,099
Why won't you compete with me?

8
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,685
Because it's fun
watching you get upset.

9
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,853
What's fun about it?

10
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,480
Everything.

11
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,317
ADULT SHELDON:I've never been good at sharing.

12
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:27,903
I had to share a womb...
MISSY: Ow.

13
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,446
SHELDON:
Ow.

14
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,989
("Rico Suave" by Gerardo
playing over headphones)

15
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,699
...a bedroom...

16
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,117
♪ Rico... ♪

17
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,078
♪ ♪

18
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:42,292
ADULT SHELDON:Even my train room had Georgie's
sweaty weight bench in it.

19
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,087
Come on, George. One more.

20
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,964
Feel the burn, big boy.

21
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:49,091
Feel the burn.

22
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:52,886
But when it came to academics,
the spotlight was all mine.

23
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,097
Sheldon, having you here
has been a real boon

24
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,849
to this university.

25
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,269
ADULT SHELDON:I did love basking in its glow.

26
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,312
So we could
really use your help

27
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,815
in raising the school's
profile even higher.

28
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:08,068
Of course.
My intellect is at your service.

29
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,278
Excellent.

30
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,154
There is another
young physics prodigy

31
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,156
we want you to help us recruit.

32
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,700
Her name is Paige Swanson.

33
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:15,993
(electricity crackles)

34
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,247
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

35
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,458
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

36
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,086
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

37
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,463
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

38
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:32,509
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

39
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,181
Why would you want
Paige to come here?

40
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,098
You know her?

41
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,683
Oh, I know her.

42
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,851
Ah. Wonderful.

43
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,102
Just tell her how much
you love the school

44
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,979
and convince her to enroll.

45
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,439
But you don't need
another child prodigy.

46
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,899
You've already got me.

47
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:49,276
And you have been... (scoffs)
so great.

48
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,778
Just imagine what it'd be like
having two of you.

49
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,614
Well, why would you want
two of me?

50
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,033
I mean, I've heard even
one of me is a lot to handle.

51
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,119
Well, you're not afraid of
a little competition, are you?

52
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,579
From Paige? Hardly.

53
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,040
But I should warn you,
she can be very difficult.

54
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:07,085
Well, luckily I've had some
practice with that lately.

55
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,086
And how do you handle it?

56
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:13,133
Usually I, uh,
play to their egos.

57
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,220
You know, make them feel like
the smartest person in the room.

58
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,222
And they fall for that?

59
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,556
Well... (chuckles)

60
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,892
not everyone's as smart as you,
Sheldon.

61
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:26,522
Okay, have a great day.
Love you.

62
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,315
Love you, too.

63
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,067
What are you doing?

64
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,818
I learned it in baseball.

65
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,904
When you don't want the other
team to see what you're saying.

66
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,323
It's okay to love your mom.

67
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,534
At home. Here, you get the hand.

68
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,787
BRENDA:
Hey, Mary.

69
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,789
Oh, Brenda.

70
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,165
Love the haircut.

71
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,250
Thank you.

72
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,001
I was always afraid to go short,

73
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,003
but I figured I already lost
a husband.

74
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,672
What's a few inches off the top?

75
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,091
Well, you look like
a new person.

76
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,425
I feel like a new person.

77
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,844
I just needed to do

78
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,262
something for me.

79
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:01,181
It was either this
or get a tattoo on my thigh.

80
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,267
I think you made
the right choice.

81
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,852
Well, I guess.

82
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,770
I mean, who's seeing me naked
these days?

83
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,481
Well, I wouldn't know.

84
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,277
(dryer whirring)

85
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:14,945
(door bells jingle)

86
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,949
Hey, Mary.
What are you doing here?

87
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,285
I don't know.
I was just out running errands

88
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,203
and thought maybe
I'd make an appointment.

89
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,373
Well, chair's free now.
Come on, have a seat.

90
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,168
Oh, um, o-okay.
(chuckles)

91
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:32,129
Okay. What can I do for you?

92
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,174
Well, I guess I'm just
looking for a change.

93
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,216
Uh-oh.

94
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,093
What's "uh-oh"?

95
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,304
Well, nothing, it's just,
when the women come in

96
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:43,223
looking for a change, it's
usually relationship trouble.

97
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,975
(laughs softly):
Oh...

98
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:48,145
Well, not me. I'm fine.

99
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,689
Okay, but I got a perm
and a divorce in the same week

100
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,983
and I only regret one of them.

101
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,318
(laughs)

102
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:56,028
Maybe this is a bad idea.
I should come back.

103
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,738
No, no, no, no.
Come on, you're already here.

104
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,990
Either way,
there's nothing wrong

105
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,325
in a little change.

106
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,743
Okay. Uh...

107
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,661
What do you think I should do?

108
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,164
Well, when you look
at yourself in the mirror,

109
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,248
who do you see?

110
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:13,420
I see a mom and... a wife.

111
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,131
Okay, that's the hair
you already got.

112
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,258
Who do you want to see?

113
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,385
Oh, um...

114
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,473
Maybe we start with the nails.

115
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,433
That's a great idea.
Yeah.

116
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,770
So now I'm supposed to talk
Paige into coming to my school.

117
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,063
Maybe it'll be nice
to have somebody

118
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,689
your own age to hang out with.

119
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,441
Sure, so the next time
someone says,

120
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,360
"Hey, look what the kid
genius did," people will say,

121
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,736
"Which one? There's so many."

122
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,697
I thought you and that
little girl were friends.

123
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,950
Missy's her friend.
I'm her rival.

124
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,285
Well, I think you're getting
worked up about nothing.

125
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,704
Maybe she won't even decide
to come to this school.

126
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:51,625
Oh, I see where you're going.

127
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,669
I should convince her
it's a terrible school.

128
00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:54,628
That's brilliant.

129
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,630
That's not where I was going.

130
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,382
Too late, I'm already there.

131
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,055
What are you doing?

132
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,559
Look at me
and tell me what you see.

133
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,645
What?

134
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,647
Did you get a haircut?
Looks great.

135
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,315
No, I didn't get a haircut.

136
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,442
'Cause you don't need one.
Looking good, babe.

137
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,694
Lord.

138
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:22,447
Just tell me what you see
when you look at me.

139
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,658
(sighs, mutters)

140
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,869
I don't know what's going on,
but this feels like a trap.

141
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,830
I went to the salon
to get a haircut.

142
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,957
Knew it, looking foxy.

143
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:35,294
But I didn't get one because
I don't know what I want.

144
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,254
(quietly):
Oh.

145
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,507
You know who's got good hair?
Charlene Tilton.

146
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,717
Who?

147
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,218
That little blonde one
on Dallas.

148
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,970
People make a fuss
over Victoria Principal,

149
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,305
but Charlene Tilton...

150
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,681
You're not helping me, George.

151
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,810
I knew this was a trap.

152
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,272
I must tell you
that Sheldon was very excited

153
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,900
to hear that you might
be joining us.

154
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,526
Well, isn't he sweet?

155
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,903
He's a peach.

156
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:03,155
All right, I'm here.
Hello, hello.

157
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,323
Hello.

158
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:06,533
Hi, Sheldon.
I'm so excited for you

159
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,118
to show me around campus today.

160
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,661
The only reason
I'm doing it is because...

161
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,830
He's excited to do it,
I'm excited he's doing it.

162
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,665
Are you excited?
Sure.

163
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,334
Everyone's excited. Yay.

164
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,337
(sighs)
Come on, let's go.

165
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:21,423
You and me, together again.

166
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,633
It just feels right, doesn't it?

167
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,092
(grumbles)

168
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,678
There's the cafeteria.

169
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,805
If you like tuna salad
with hair in it.

170
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,183
Over there is the quad.
It's a nice place to relax,

171
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,393
if you like getting hit in
the head with Frisbees.

172
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,646
I know what you're doing.
No, you don't.

173
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,022
You have nothing
to worry about.

174
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,774
I don't want to come
to this school.

175
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:40,692
I'm just looking at it
to make my mom happy

176
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:41,652
since it's close to home.

177
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,820
Well, that's wonderful news.

178
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,281
Besides, I've got offers
from way better universities.

179
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,992
What do you mean?
What's wrong with this school?

180
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,911
It's fine.
It's just nowhere near as good

181
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,704
as Harvard or Columbia.

182
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,373
It is too.

183
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,750
If you like a substandard
science department

184
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,627
and hair in your tuna.

185
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,629
("Sad Eyes" by Robert John
playing)

186
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:04,550
ADULT SHELDON:Paige had made me look
at East Texas Tech

187
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,051
in a whole new light.

188
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,178
♪ Looks like it's over ♪

189
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:11,306
♪ You knew I couldn't stay ♪

190
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,891
(seat creaking)

191
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:17,104
♪ Why must you look at me
that way? ♪

192
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:22,276
♪ It's over ♪

193
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:28,282
♪ Sad eyes ♪

194
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,658
Of course.

195
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,160
♪ You knew there'd come a day ♪

196
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:37,833
♪ When we would have
to say goodbye. ♪

197
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,716
She said she doesn't even want
to come to this university.

198
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,384
Well, I hope you
convinced her otherwise.

199
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,012
She said she'd rather go
to Harvard or Columbia.

200
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,014
(scoffs) T-Those are all
perfectly fine schools,

201
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:54,057
but we have a lot
to offer here, too.

202
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,851
I told her that, but she said
I was settling

203
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,769
because I want to live
close to my mommy.

204
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,021
Well, that's ridiculous.

205
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,898
That's why I came here
to tell on her.

206
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:04,568
Well, the important thing
is you're here and you're happy.

207
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,653
I thought I was,
but why does Paige

208
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,655
get to go to a better school
than me?

209
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,658
Hey, I know
what'll solve your problem.

210
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,452
Convince Paige to come here.

211
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,120
Yeah. Wait.

212
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,874
Sometimes I think George
doesn't even see me.

213
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,334
And it's not just him.

214
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,002
My daughter's embarrassed of me,

215
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,506
my boys think all I'm good for
is food and clean clothes.

216
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,090
You start feeling
like a ghost, right?

217
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,050
Yes.

218
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,384
I get it, I'm a mom.

219
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,679
(sighs) So did that feeling
ever go away?

220
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,764
Yeah.

221
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:37,142
I realized I was doing
everything for everyone else,

222
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,436
and I didn't have
anything left for me.

223
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,897
So, here we are.

224
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:46,485
When I was younger, I used
to love making my own clothes.

225
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,111
Mm-hmm.
I always
thought I'd do

226
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,363
something with that.

227
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,365
Maybe I should get back to it.

228
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,741
You definitely should.

229
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,451
Okay.

230
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,954
Okay. So, what are we thinking?

231
00:08:56,954 --> 00:09:01,333
Actually, I don't think
I need a haircut anymore.

232
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,418
Thank you so much.

233
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,254
Oh, my pleasure.

234
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,463
(chuckles)

235
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:10,551
I got to start
charging by the hour.

236
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,307
What are you doing?

237
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,809
I'm sewing.

238
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:19,977
Why?

239
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,979
Because it's a thing
I like to do.

240
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:24,064
I ain't never seen you sew.

241
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,149
Well, you're seeing it now.

242
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,818
What you making?

243
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,611
A dress for Missy.

244
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,531
Did you lose your job?

245
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,657
No.

246
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,158
Did Dad lose his job?

247
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:38,704
It's about me doing
something for myself.

248
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,539
All right, don't get sassy.

249
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:41,540
GEORGE SR.:
Hey.

250
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,668
What's going on in here?

251
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,753
She's making clothes
for Missy.

252
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,839
Uh-oh. Did you lose your job?

253
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,756
No.

254
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,884
She's doing something for her.

255
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,887
(whispers):
I don't get it, either.

256
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:57,764
SHELDON:Ooh, maybe I'll transfer

257
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,683
to the University of Zurich.

258
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,143
I thought you liked your school.

259
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:03,604
I did, until Paige ruined it.

260
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,063
Why do you care what she thinks?

261
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:05,856
I don't.

262
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,774
Sure sounds like you do.

263
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,861
I can't help it.
She makes me crazy.

264
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,362
Then stop thinking about her.

265
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,572
I wish I could.

266
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,991
Ooh, maybe you have
a crush on her.

267
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:17,951
That's ridiculous.

268
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,870
I don't know.

269
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:20,913
I don't.

270
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:24,124
You care what she thinks, you
can't stop talking about her.

271
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,584
I don't have a crush on her!

272
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,710
Are you sure?

273
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,378
I don't know!

274
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,595
Okay, here we go.

275
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:40,098
"Is it a crush? Take this
juicy quiz and find out.

276
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,643
Do you think about them
when they're not around?"

277
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,019
Lately, yes.

278
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,605
"Are you jealous when other
people give them attention?"

279
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,232
I suppose I am.

280
00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,067
"Do you get nervous
when you're around them?"

281
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:53,487
How could I not? Last time
she punched me, in the face.

282
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:54,863
That was so great.

283
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,657
"Do you talk about them
all the time?"

284
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,617
That's a big fat yes.

285
00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:00,619
"Do you dream about them?"

286
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:02,287
Oh, dear.

287
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,081
Just last night I had
a nightmare that she solved

288
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,500
the Einstein field equations
ahead of me.

289
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,210
That's five out of five.

290
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,754
"You're crushing harder
than Zack on Kelly Kapowski."

291
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,465
Uh, what does that mean?

292
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,676
Trust me, that's a big deal.

293
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,554
ADULT SHELDON:My sister had gotten
into my head, but I needed

294
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:21,682
a more reliable opinion
than a magazine that included

295
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,351
the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips.

296
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,352
Georgie?

297
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,812
What?

298
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:29,106
Can I ask you a question
about girls?

299
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,900
Go ahead, but I find them
very confusing.

300
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,528
Missy thinks I have
a crush on Paige.

301
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,863
Do you?

302
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,907
I don't know,
but I know that I don't want to.

303
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,702
Well, you don't get to choose.

304
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,078
It's just something you feel.

305
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,581
Did you have a crush
on your girlfriend?

306
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:46,915
Yeah, I guess.

307
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,709
How did you know when you did?

308
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,628
Well, one day she came to school
in these soccer shorts,

309
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,005
and that was it.

310
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:55,382
What happened,
you played soccer with her?

311
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,508
No, dummy.

312
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,677
Then what was the
significance of the shorts?

313
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,346
I don't think I can help you.

314
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,598
Fine, I'll ask Dad.

315
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:03,599
Good luck. The only thing

316
00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,309
he has a crush on is beer.

317
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,186
ADULT SHELDON:I wasn't getting
the help I needed,

318
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:10,689
so I turned
to the smartest resource I knew.

319
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,108
Love is a funny thing.

320
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,694
They say, "The heart wants
what the heart wants,"

321
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,613
but I think it should be,

322
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:21,700
"The limbic system wants
what the limbic system wants."

323
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,494
Finally, someone's making sense.

324
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,956
Well, not to brag, but when
it comes to unrequited love,

325
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:30,125
I'm kind of an expert.

326
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:33,003
Well, when I talk to Paige,
all she does is drive me crazy.

327
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:37,132
There's a thin line between
affection and aggravation.

328
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,593
The Roman poet Catullus said,

329
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:44,223
"I hate and I love
and I know not why."

330
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:46,308
I'm not sure
what to make of that.

331
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,602
Perhaps it'd be
more useful in Latin.

332
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,062
"Odi et amo..."

333
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:52,564
I just want to know
if I have a crush.

334
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:53,899
Well, does your
heart rate elevate

335
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,567
when you're in her presence?

336
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,694
I suppose.

337
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,655
Does your stomach flutter?

338
00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,240
Yes.

339
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,410
Sounds like your limbic system
might be doing its thing.

340
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,412
Oh, dear.

341
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,000
Hey.
Hey.

342
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,836
That's a lot of fabric.

343
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,462
Oh, it's not just fabric.

344
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,965
I also got pattern books
and an accessory kit.

345
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,927
Can I ask how much
that all cost?

346
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,012
Well, it's hard to say,
because in the long run

347
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,931
I'm gonna save us money.

348
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,851
Well, what did it cost
in the short run?

349
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,602
I don't know, a hundred dollars?

350
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:34,690
A hundred dollars?
What is wrong with you?

351
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,441
Why would you say that?

352
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,860
That is a good question.

353
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,736
I mean, what is wrong with you?

354
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,738
Why is it okay when you say it?

355
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,740
'Cause clearly there's
something wrong with you.

356
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,951
So you think it's fine
that she spent

357
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:48,245
a hundred dollars on thread?

358
00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:51,081
I think it's fine that she has
something that makes her happy.

359
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,334
What are you looking for?

360
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,586
Anybody but you.

361
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,172
Look, I get it.

362
00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:01,383
One time, Darlene got all
into scrapbooking.

363
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:04,469
Overnight, our den became
her scrapbooking room.

364
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,054
What did you do?

365
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,681
I said, "Whatever makes
you happy, dear,"

366
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,850
and made love to her
in the scrapbooking room.

367
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,018
Ha.

368
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,979
(exhales)

369
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:16,440
Maybe if you had three kids,
you'd worry more about money.

370
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,734
Oh, we can't wait
to have babies.

371
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,653
I just love the way
their little heads smell.

372
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:25,157
Does anybody in here
want to be my friend?

373
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:26,825
Anybody?

374
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:30,662
Look, Sheldon, you're not gonna
convince me to come here.

375
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,997
You're wasting your time.

376
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,207
(sighs)

377
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,792
I'm afraid we have
a bigger problem.

378
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,836
What are you talking about?

379
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,213
(sighs)

380
00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:41,798
I'm a scientist,
and I have to follow the data

381
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,760
wherever it leads,
whether I like it or not.

382
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,637
Get to the point.

383
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,516
It seems I have a crush on you.

384
00:14:50,516 --> 00:14:51,892
What?

385
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,560
I'm as surprised as you are.

386
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,854
But I have all the symptoms
according to both Dr. Sturgis

387
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:58,357
and the editors
of Sassy magazine.

388
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,864
Uh, Sheldon,

389
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,325
I'm really glad
that you told me this,

390
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:13,705
'cause... the truth is,
I feel the same way about you.

391
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:14,915
You do?

392
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,875
I mean, I've been
trying to hide it,

393
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,545
but now I don't have to anymore.

394
00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:21,004
This is such a relief.

395
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,882
Oh, dear. This is
new information.

396
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,342
I had been operating
under the assumption

397
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,219
that my crush was unrequited.

398
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:31,390
Oh, it's requited, Sheldon.
It's very requited.

399
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:32,808
Hmm.

400
00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:37,980
What are you doing?

401
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,898
We have a crush
on each other.

402
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:41,066
So?

403
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:43,318
Well, now we have to kiss.

404
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,570
We do?

405
00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:47,865
I mean, it's where
the data has led us.

406
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,077
I suppose.

407
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,662
Okay.

408
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,081
Now close your eyes
and pucker up.

409
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,089
This might tickle.

410
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,927
What's happening?
Are we kissing?

411
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,387
You bet.

412
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:14,766
How was that?

413
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:17,019
I didn't feel anything romantic.

414
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,605
Hmm. Me, either.

415
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,025
I guess it wasn't
a crush after all.

416
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,193
I guess not.

417
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:27,029
Hmm. That's a relief.

418
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,947
It is.

419
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:32,075
ADULT SHELDON:I went to three classes
before I figured it out.

420
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,745
Good thing I look spiffy
in a mustache.

421
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:41,251
(door bells jingle)
Hi.

422
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,545
Oh. Three days in a row.

423
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,339
If you were a man, I'd think
you was in love with me.

424
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:49,051
Well, this time I'm actually
gonna get a haircut.

425
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,303
I had a little accident.

426
00:16:51,303 --> 00:16:53,222
Uh-oh, what happened?

427
00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:56,850
Well, I was sewing
and got to daydreaming...

428
00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:01,230
♪ ♪

429
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,316
MISSY:
I love it.

430
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,568
You can make all my
clothes from now on.

431
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,070
♪ ♪

432
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,365
I'm-a wear this to the prom.

433
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:14,284
I was wrong, honey,
you really are good at this.

434
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,453
Boy, am I dumb.

435
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,121
(sewing machine clacking)

436
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,290
MARY:George!

437
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,292
George! Help!

438
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,252
GEORGE SR.:
What?

439
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:26,547
What's the matter?
My hair got tangled
in the machine.

440
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:27,965
So pull it out.

441
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,842
Don't you think
I thought of that?!

442
00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:31,802
Well, what do you want me to do?

443
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:33,595
All right, don't move.

444
00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:36,056
And here we are.

445
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,935
Okay. Let's get that hat off
and see what we're dealing with.

446
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:42,145
I don't want to.
Oh, come on.

447
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,897
I've been doing this
a long time.

448
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,066
I promise you I've seen worse.

449
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,026
Oh...

450
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,156
That's not bad at all.


