1
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,280
What happened, Tom?

2
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,640
Don't know.

3
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:02,200
She was feeling pretty sick with this
diabetic thing, and after eating all

4
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,040
cakes, and then... Yes?

5
00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:08,740
Well, I said a few things to cheer her
up, and she went and collapsed,

6
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:10,100
spluttering all over the place.

7
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,220
What things were you saying?

8
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:15,720
Not much. Just suggested we ought to get
married.

9
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,820
You swine! You're all the same!

10
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:22,720
What's going on?

11
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:24,460
Diana's collapsed.

12
00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:26,380
What's wrong with Jane?

13
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,020
Oh, goodness me, she's gone mad.

14
00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:30,060
I asked her to marry me.

15
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,440
That will explain it.

16
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,700
Diana, let's hope it's nothing terminal.

17
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,960
That's the alarm clock, dear.

18
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:49,620
Shut up!

19
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:56,920
That's 43 alarm clocks this year.

20
00:01:58,700 --> 00:01:59,700
Who are you?

21
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,059
Sorry, dear?

22
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,120
I said, who are you?

23
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,380
Me? Yes, you.

24
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,960
Who am I? Yes.

25
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,320
Well, I'm me, dear.

26
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:13,660
Your husband, Geoffrey, father of your
children. Well, presumed father of your

27
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:14,660
children.

28
00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:17,820
I didn't go to bed with you last night.
I think you'll find you did, dear. If

29
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:20,160
you check your diary, I think you'll
find it was definitely me you went to

30
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,020
with, hence me being here this morning.

31
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:25,020
I went to bed with a hell of an angel.

32
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:27,060
He was called Fat Boy.

33
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,700
Fat Boy Higgins.

34
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,840
Marion, that was... See?

35
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,120
There's his jacket.

36
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:37,040
And there's his big chopper.

37
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:41,360
What? His motorbike. Oh, look, his
glasses.

38
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:45,180
His bandana. Marion, Fat Boy Higgins,
the hell's angel, was me.

39
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,840
Oh, don't be ridiculous.

40
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:49,080
It was me. I was done with him. In
disguise.

41
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:50,660
I don't believe you.

42
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,880
Come on, darling, let's go do something
dirty.

43
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,260
Do shut up.

44
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:03,300
Someone told me I ought to change a bit,
you know, make myself a bit more

45
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,020
interesting. Oh, I want Fat Boy.

46
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:09,060
I want the man who lay me over his
pillion at midnight.

47
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,520
It was me.

48
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,360
Oh, don't be so silly.

49
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,500
You're just an incredibly boring old
piece of wood.

50
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:20,140
Oh, thank you, dear. I want Fat Boy. Oh,
I'm crazy about Fat Boy.

51
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,800
He's what I've always wanted.

52
00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:24,320
A real man? A man who smells?

53
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:25,620
Yes, Marion.

54
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:33,540
It's all very well. Oh, shut up! Get me
Fat Boy! Oh, Fat Boy, do bad things

55
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,540
to me!

56
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,140
Fat Boy, eh?

57
00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:39,680
This could get very tricky.

58
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,320
Thank you.

59
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:22,950
We've all got our problems. We don't
inflict them on everyone else.

60
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,790
Just a touch of vocal noise or I'll tie
knots in your tubes, OK?

61
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,070
Hold your breath.

62
00:04:33,550 --> 00:04:34,550
Thank you.

63
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,570
Back to sleep.

64
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,339
you're doing.

65
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:11,640
I'm so sorry. I wonder if you could turn
your sound down.

66
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:16,700
I've got me headphones on. Yes, I can
see that, but unfortunately they don't

67
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:21,200
work. That nasty tinny sound is still
seeping out all over the place and it's

68
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,200
giving me the screaming idiots.

69
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,540
So will you please turn it right down or
I will be forced to break your

70
00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:27,540
remaining limb.

71
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,400
Stuff you, Grandma.

72
00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:25,950
Well, apart from being a diabetic old
crock full of spare parts, I am in this

73
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:30,250
hospital because someone, who I thought
was in favour of my well -being, decided

74
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,070
to give me a very severe shock.

75
00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:34,370
Really? Who was that?

76
00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:35,750
It was you, Tom.

77
00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:39,350
You suggested we get married.

78
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,130
And that knocked you over?

79
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,650
Well, surely as if I'd stuck my fingers
in a light socket.

80
00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,470
What did you think you were doing?

81
00:06:46,870 --> 00:06:51,260
I was falling... Over with a massive
blood sugar cut. I was feeling like

82
00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,920
and you come along and start making
extremely bad jokes.

83
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,580
It wasn't a joke. No, I know precisely.

84
00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:58,660
I know you. That's what made it so
horrible.

85
00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,960
You meant it.

86
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,080
Yes, I did.

87
00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:03,420
And what's wrong with the proposal?

88
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:04,800
What's wrong?

89
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:05,880
What's wrong?

90
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,000
Yes, what's wrong?

91
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,260
What's wrong?

92
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:15,160
Yes. Well... Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you.

93
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,500
So there.

94
00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:20,869
Good morning.

95
00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:22,750
And how are we this morning?

96
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,750
We are feeling how we usually feel when
we are half dead and we want to go home.

97
00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:30,210
Well, I think that's probably a good
idea.

98
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:35,650
And so does a young motorcyclist and
gentleman whose lungs have recently

99
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:36,650
collapsed.

100
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:44,390
Brenda.

101
00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,730
Get Geoffrey Ballard on the line, will
you, please?

102
00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:52,450
Geoffrey?

103
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:56,570
I've got to go to our Luton branch, so I
want you to stand in for me at the bank

104
00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:57,570
meeting.

105
00:07:58,230 --> 00:07:59,830
Don't take any nonsense from them.

106
00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:03,690
I know we're a bit over the limit, but
I'm relying on you to show them what a

107
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,690
strong and responsible company we are.

108
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:08,550
Count on you.

109
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:09,910
I hope we can.

110
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,990
Off you go, then.

111
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:15,650
Just let me get this straight.

112
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,720
You have been pursuing Harvey for many
years, right?

113
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:22,200
Correct. But now that he wants to marry
you, you don't want to marry him.

114
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,380
Right. But why? He's all you've ever
wanted.

115
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:26,900
Strange, but true.

116
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,400
It's his motive.

117
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:33,179
He wants to marry me because he thinks
it'll help him get into the golf club.

118
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,900
Well, at least it's not just to get into
your knickers.

119
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,480
Oh! I mean, that really would be
frightening.

120
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,280
He's a very handsome and charming man.

121
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,080
So is Michael Winner.

122
00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:46,620
Morning, all.

123
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,720
Hello there, Master Bain. How are them
things up in the big house with all them

124
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:51,920
fine white folks?

125
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,400
Yes, thank you, Jenny. You can go now. I
want to talk to Jane.

126
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:56,419
Yes, boss.

127
00:08:56,420 --> 00:09:00,140
I'm just going to make a big jug of the
mint julep for you and Miss Scarlet.

128
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,180
Yes.

129
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:02,280
Why

130
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:09,540
does

131
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:10,820
she always do that to me?

132
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:19,700
Not true, Jane.

133
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,960
I'm a deeply sensitive and caring man.

134
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:26,980
In fact, I am so sensitive and caring
that I sometimes don't tell people about

135
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,760
certain things in case it upsets them.

136
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,160
But shall I?

137
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:36,380
Well, no, I was going to tell you, but
no, I can't. It would be too painful for

138
00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:37,720
you. OK, suit yourself.

139
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:41,460
Yes, I'd hate anyone to suffer on my
behalf.

140
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,800
Oh, glad about that.

141
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,100
So I'd better not tell you. No.

142
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,140
Unless, of course, you really want to
know.

143
00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:49,890
Oh, Jane, for God's sake.

144
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,670
Oh, what is it, Harvey?

145
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:52,890
I'm dying.

146
00:09:52,970 --> 00:09:56,170
Oh, no, there, I've said it. Oh, how
terrible of me.

147
00:09:56,450 --> 00:10:00,890
Oh, believe me, I never wanted to tell
you about this rare... ..tropical

148
00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:05,230
that is eating away at me and is quite
incurable and will probably send me to

149
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,570
lonely and unloved grave in about three
weeks' time.

150
00:10:08,890 --> 00:10:11,890
Oh, dear, I didn't want to let it out.
I'm so sorry, Jane.

151
00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,470
Sorry. It's all right.

152
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,590
There's something else I want to tell
you.

153
00:10:25,430 --> 00:10:26,430
Well, Harry.

154
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:30,510
I, uh... I thingy you.

155
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:31,810
You what?

156
00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:33,170
Thingy, you know.

157
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:35,230
What you feel before you're supposed to
get married.

158
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:36,830
What, Harvey?

159
00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:38,790
Love.

160
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:41,830
What? I love you. What did you say?

161
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,550
I love you, you death prat!

162
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:49,250
You love me? Yes, so we'll get married,
okay?

163
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,500
Wedded to Christ, not you.

164
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,740
But what's he got that I haven't?

165
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,360
Oh, Diana, you're back. How wonderful.

166
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,180
The Lord be praised.

167
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,320
It's been so long.

168
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:09,600
It's been since yesterday.

169
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,820
Get off, Jane.

170
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,060
Diana, how wonderful to see you.

171
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:18,680
A little cloud has been hovering over
Bayview since you were gone. Even now I

172
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,880
can see it slipping away and the sun
shining on us once again.

173
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:27,430
I don't know, sure.

174
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:33,150
I wonder, could I have a word with you
both?

175
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:34,990
Have you sold our apartment?

176
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,430
Are you ready?

177
00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:40,650
Go on, get on with it. What are you
doing?

178
00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:45,910
I have to prick her finger to take a
small sample of blood which I test for

179
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:46,910
insulin level.

180
00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,910
Yes, get on!

181
00:11:52,690 --> 00:11:53,850
I've done it. What?

182
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:56,720
Wasn't I brave?

183
00:11:56,940 --> 00:12:03,020
Now, we wipe it on here, see what colour
it goes, and then check against the

184
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:05,880
chart. And, uh, oh, what's happened to
Harvey?

185
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:07,900
Harvey's died.

186
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,700
Let's bang a stake through his heart
before the sun comes up.

187
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:15,300
What are you doing? That'll fix him.

188
00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:18,340
My almost Armani suit.

189
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,420
What do you want, Harvey? Apart from
checking to see if I'd snuffed it.

190
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,560
Anna, you talk as if I didn't care
deeply about you.

191
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,940
He must be in trouble.

192
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,820
Still Jane, is it? Yeah.

193
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,040
I told her I was dying, and she said she
couldn't give a damn.

194
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:33,780
Wonderful girl.

195
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,480
Well,

196
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,400
it's as much as we're all dying from the
moment we're born, but not necessarily

197
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,199
this week.

198
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:43,200
You mean you tried to calm her again. I
told you to declare your love and not

199
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,640
bamboozle her. I did. I took your
advice. I told her I loved her. But

200
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:48,980
still going on about marrying Jesus.

201
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,130
I mean, what am I going to do?

202
00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:53,250
Get yourself a pair of sandals and grow
a beard.

203
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:58,790
Now, listen, Harvey, I have spoken with
Jane on this. Well, now, what does she

204
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:03,090
want? Well, not you. She told me she
would prefer to marry a three -toed

205
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,090
than a two -faced prat.

206
00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:09,710
Thank you, Diana. Why do I bother to
come here? Why do I even bother to talk

207
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:12,710
you? I don't know, Harvey. Probably just
makes you feel good.

208
00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:15,770
Harvey, what you have to do is to find
out...

209
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:21,280
what Jane sees in Jesus, and then graft
that on to your revolting personality.

210
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:26,060
You might be right, Tom. You might just
be right.

211
00:13:26,820 --> 00:13:28,640
I'll go and have a quick flick through
the Bible.

212
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:33,440
Now what have you done? You'll turn him
into a Jehovah's Witness.

213
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,120
Maybe I should try the same thing.

214
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:38,459
What?

215
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:42,740
Maybe I could find out what your heart
really desires and provide you with it.

216
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:47,400
See how that works. Tom, I am home now.
I'm okay. The current crisis is over.

217
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,520
We're just going to get back to normal.

218
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:56,320
I am going to pretend that you never
suggested that we dramatically alter the

219
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,320
status of our relationship.

220
00:13:57,740 --> 00:14:00,560
Don't be afraid, Diana. I suggested
marriage.

221
00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:04,640
What is so fearful about the idea of
marriage? I'm an old -fashioned girl.

222
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,500
If I married you, I wouldn't be able to
sleep around anymore.

223
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,060
Diana, be serious.

224
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:12,279
Oh, I am.

225
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,259
You're not.

226
00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:17,560
I think it's a nice idea. Well, I don't.
The whole concept of marriage makes me

227
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,040
want to vomit my cornflakes up the wall.

228
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,560
Why? Because it does, OK?

229
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,720
That's not an answer. Yes, it is.

230
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,200
I think you're scared.

231
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:30,240
Oh, save me from the clichés, Tom. I'm
110 years old. I have done everything.

232
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,240
I am not scared of anything.

233
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,220
Except one thing.

234
00:14:35,329 --> 00:14:36,329
What's that?

235
00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:39,650
That my varicose veins get out of
control and blow up like huge snakes

236
00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:40,650
strangle me in the night.

237
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:44,750
You can't deflect me with your silly
jokes.

238
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,390
Who said it was a joke?

239
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:48,930
I think it would be the right thing for
us to do.

240
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:51,370
Why? Because it's a statement.

241
00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:52,689
To whom?

242
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,690
To the world.

243
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:57,790
We will be standing up and saying to the
world, we are one.

244
00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:03,080
We have travelled along life's bumpy
highway... And more, much more than

245
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,400
we did it our way.

246
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:08,020
Oh, give me strength, Tom.

247
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:12,100
Listen, I have no desire to make a
statement to the sodding world.

248
00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:15,920
Wouldn't be interested anyway. Except a
few people who might say, oh, isn't it

249
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,600
sweet, marriage at their age?

250
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:21,520
I mean, I wouldn't mind getting a
divorce at my age. Now, that would show

251
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,520
adventurous spirit.

252
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,880
You have to be married.

253
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,429
To get a divorce?

254
00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:29,670
No, Tom. No, bust up, Benito. Clam up or
I'll shove a bookcase down your throat.

255
00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:31,430
Now then, how's my test?

256
00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:33,170
Incident level, fine.

257
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:35,670
Bio level, through the roof.

258
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:42,250
I think you'll find that these figures
of our projected sales, added to the

259
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:46,950
-on contracts currently being
renegotiated by us, will show you that

260
00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:50,910
has a very healthy future and is
definitely in safe and sure hands.

261
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,130
What did you say?

262
00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:00,410
I said I want to get me a woman.

263
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:01,970
Let's see what I've got.

264
00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:05,790
Do you want a winter woman or a summer
woman? I want a Diana woman.

265
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,230
Very sensible.

266
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:09,570
Always stick to women of the same name.

267
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:13,450
Then you don't have to worry about
yelling out the wrong name in moments of

268
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:14,450
passion.

269
00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:18,970
I've got a Deidre, a very fine shot
-putter.

270
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,490
No, no, I want Diana, my Diana.

271
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:23,190
I want to marry her.

272
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:26,230
I've got a Dorothy, a very good
psychiatrist.

273
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,220
Tom, Tom, Tom, you were right. You're
brilliant.

274
00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:31,820
Oh, good.

275
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,320
What have I done?

276
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:36,640
What you said about getting to Jane,
where she's at, you know, all the God

277
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,940
stuff. Well, I've come up with a totally
brill idea.

278
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,540
Well, let's hear it. Well, maybe I
should join the same firm.

279
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,259
What firm?

280
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:45,260
Well, the God firm.

281
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,660
Yeah, well, if Jane's going to join the
church, well, then maybe I should too.

282
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,600
I can't be hearing this.

283
00:16:51,050 --> 00:16:52,630
What's wrong? Tell me he didn't say
that.

284
00:16:52,870 --> 00:16:53,669
What's wrong?

285
00:16:53,670 --> 00:16:55,230
I think I make a great priest.

286
00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:57,550
I mean, black's always been one of my
favourite colours.

287
00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:01,610
And what about celibacy? What do I care
about fame?

288
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:06,550
I said celibacy.

289
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,790
Sex. Priests don't do it. Really?

290
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:12,050
Well, how do you get all those little
priests?

291
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:16,970
And what about Reverend Dennis? I mean,
he had a wife before she ran off with

292
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:17,970
his bell ringer.

293
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,060
He was a vicar, not a priest. Well, OK,
I'll become a vicar.

294
00:17:21,339 --> 00:17:23,640
No point in getting married if you're
not going to get your nookie, eh?

295
00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:28,440
Harvey, vicars and nuns come from
different churches.

296
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:33,460
Well, they socialise, don't they? You
know, inter -church footy matches,

297
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:34,460
and tarts parties.

298
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:40,120
Oh, Harvey, I'm sure they do. So just
trot off and become a vicar and I expect

299
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:45,260
Jane will just fall into your arms.
Great, fantastic. I knew it would work.

300
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:46,260
send off with the brochures.

301
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:48,390
Bless you, my son.

302
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:53,370
Oh, dear, you see, it's easy.

303
00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:57,330
That's the trouble with this asylum.

304
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,910
You can never work out who the loonies
are.

305
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:05,370
Well, thank you so much for your
instructions, Sister Sheila.

306
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:08,650
I will continue with my Bible studies.

307
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,580
And make my decision in God's own time.

308
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:16,340
You do that, my little treasure. And
whatever decision you make, you have our

309
00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:17,340
full support.

310
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,000
And that of the good Lord.

311
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,500
Now, I'll see you next Wednesday.

312
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,180
Oh, thank you. Goodbye.

313
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,380
Julie Andrews.

314
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:31,780
Hello.

315
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:34,380
How are you today?

316
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:37,660
What do you think they're putting in the
water around here?

317
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:41,410
I beg your pardon? Well, everyone's gone
marriage mad.

318
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,550
Harvey wants to marry Jane.

319
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:45,610
Jane wants to marry Jesus.

320
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:48,550
Now, even old Tom... Yes?

321
00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:51,290
Never mind.

322
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,390
Don't tell me.

323
00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:53,850
Tom has proposed.

324
00:18:56,710 --> 00:18:58,750
Well, now, isn't that wonderful?

325
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:00,630
My congratulations.

326
00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:05,230
Mrs. Silly, I haven't accepted him. I
sent him off with a very large flea in

327
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:06,189
ear.

328
00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:07,190
Really?

329
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:08,650
And why did you do that?

330
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,290
Well, why do you think?

331
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:12,210
Well, I haven't the first idea.

332
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:13,710
Well, you should have. And why's that?

333
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,050
Well, because you're a nun.

334
00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:19,430
Oh, so I should understand what's going
on in your head. Yes.

335
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:21,790
Well, maybe I do.

336
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,930
Don't you bring God into this or I'll
let your tyres down.

337
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:31,490
I think that maybe you're not 100 %
certain why you sent Tom Packing.

338
00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:34,170
Nonsense. So what were your reasons?

339
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:37,460
Well, because I just don't want to marry
the old dog. Oh, for... Why not?

340
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,880
Because. Because?

341
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,100
Yes, because.

342
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,820
See, I told you I knew my reasons.

343
00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:45,500
Maybe you could be a little bit more
specific.

344
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,920
Yes, well, I can't.

345
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,740
If I could, I wouldn't be talking to
you.

346
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,300
I mean, I don't even believe in you
people outside the sound of music.

347
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:59,100
It is a little bit of fear, maybe.

348
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:03,480
Oh, don't you start. I'm not afraid of
marriage. I mean, what's to be afraid

349
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,520
It's not final.

350
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,080
Oh, if it doesn't work out, you can
always strangle your husband and rent a

351
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,080
one.

352
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:13,220
And I take it you're not worried about,
well, about the wedding night?

353
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,700
No, no, I think I can cope with that.

354
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,160
I've had about five million rehearsals.

355
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:22,340
There's not much else to do in countries
where you don't understand the telly.

356
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,140
Are you afraid of happiness, then?

357
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,640
What?

358
00:20:33,930 --> 00:20:36,250
Some people, the Puritan ethic can be
overwhelming.

359
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:41,570
Some believe that you pay for every
minute of happiness with two minutes of

360
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:42,670
misery. Cobbler's.

361
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:44,550
Not really.

362
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:46,530
Especially in your case.

363
00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:51,010
I mean, being unhappy is your... Well,
it's your whole pool.

364
00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:55,390
If you ever had to admit to being happy,
it would probably make you really

365
00:20:55,390 --> 00:20:57,670
miserable. I don't know what you're
talking about.

366
00:20:57,910 --> 00:20:58,950
I think you do.

367
00:21:00,129 --> 00:21:03,930
Anyway, I can't sit here trying to
divine what's going on in your head.

368
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,590
I've enough trouble working out Jane's
problems.

369
00:21:06,810 --> 00:21:11,290
She's not really going to become a nun,
is she? Well, that's between her and her

370
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:15,610
God. All I do is try and shed a little
light on the way.

371
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:17,750
You're such lucky people, aren't you?

372
00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:21,490
All your questions long since answered,
all your problems covered with one

373
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:22,490
little word.

374
00:21:22,530 --> 00:21:25,490
Faith. Is there something wrong with
faith?

375
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:26,990
Dunno. Never had any.

376
00:21:27,610 --> 00:21:28,710
And now I'm...

377
00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:31,350
rattling towards the old six -foot hole
in the ground.

378
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:32,590
And you're afraid?

379
00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,050
No. No, not at all.

380
00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:36,410
I'm not anything. I'm just... Well, I'm
indifferent.

381
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:41,810
It'd be nice to know what it's all been
about, but I'm not that fast.

382
00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:43,169
Well, well.

383
00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:46,550
If that's what it's like not to have
faith, then you're right, Diana.

384
00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:48,170
I am very lucky.

385
00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:49,830
Bye, Diana.

386
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:55,250
Oh, I think I'll go to Rome. Buy a
Lamborghini.

387
00:21:55,870 --> 00:22:00,030
Head for Switzerland over the Alps, come
tearing through the St Bernard Tunnel

388
00:22:00,030 --> 00:22:01,830
and just miss the bend.

389
00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:08,050
15 ,000 feet sailing through the air
before I hit the bottom should give me

390
00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:09,150
to sort a few things out.

391
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,890
What did you think you were doing?

392
00:22:14,870 --> 00:22:16,910
What do you think you were doing?

393
00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:20,630
And take that beard off when I'm talking
to you!

394
00:22:21,130 --> 00:22:22,290
Sorry, Mr Nicholls.

395
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:23,550
I mean...

396
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,620
You could have sent the company to the
wall.

397
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:28,020
We needed that loan.

398
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:29,760
We were going to get it.

399
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,520
It was a formality.

400
00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:34,300
Until you turned up, dressed us up.

401
00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:36,420
What are you, anyway?

402
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,440
I'm a hell's angel.

403
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:40,360
I'm called Fat Boy Higgins.

404
00:22:40,740 --> 00:22:42,080
Who? Fat Boy.

405
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:43,680
Do call me Fat.

406
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:45,700
Geoffrey!

407
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,740
I'm going to put this...

408
00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:54,440
He's a bit worried about you.

409
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:56,360
Is it your marriage again?

410
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,580
I know your marriage to a rather exotic
woman.

411
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,620
No, no, things between me and Marion
have never been better.

412
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,260
She said I'm a changed man.

413
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,020
She's not wrong, is she?

414
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,820
No, no, I suppose she isn't.

415
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:15,080
Trouble is, Geoffrey, there's not a lot
of room for Hells Angels in the

416
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,120
wonderful world of yoghurt and cheese
slices.

417
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:18,580
Really?

418
00:23:18,890 --> 00:23:22,410
Especially when the said Hell's Angel
frightens the life out of Yogurt's

419
00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:24,410
bankers. I am sorry.

420
00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:26,670
I'm sorry too.

421
00:23:27,550 --> 00:23:31,310
After all, it has been, what, 23 years.

422
00:23:32,270 --> 00:23:33,270
What are you saying?

423
00:23:34,470 --> 00:23:36,210
I'm going to have to let you go,
Geoffrey.

424
00:23:36,450 --> 00:23:37,450
What?

425
00:23:38,490 --> 00:23:39,670
You mean I'm fired?

426
00:23:40,930 --> 00:23:42,570
You can't do this to me.

427
00:23:43,370 --> 00:23:44,990
Just take it easy.

428
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:46,960
Fat boy.

429
00:23:47,780 --> 00:23:49,240
Don't do anything you might regret.

430
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,240
Hey!

431
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,500
I'm sorry.

432
00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:57,980
You're some kind of a mean dude, man.

433
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,200
I mean, like... You know.

434
00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:04,780
Yes.

435
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:06,940
Yes, I'm sure you're right.

436
00:24:10,260 --> 00:24:12,060
Why don't you get help, Geoffrey?

437
00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,380
Bad trip, man.

438
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:15,080
Bad trip.

439
00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:19,400
Well, why don't you try taking the bus?

440
00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:22,140
Bye, Jeffrey.

441
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:53,840
That's fine.

442
00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:57,540
This diabetes thing's a doddle. I can't
see what all the fuss is about.

443
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:58,840
Hello, Diana.

444
00:24:58,940 --> 00:25:00,300
Can I come in? No.

445
00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:01,540
Thank you.

446
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,060
What do you want, Jane?

447
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:05,880
I have been sent.

448
00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:07,500
By old Scuttlebrain?

449
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,160
No, not by Harvey.

450
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,520
I have been sent by the Lord.

451
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:13,120
Oh, Ada.

452
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:15,920
And what does the Lord want?

453
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,300
Oh, I don't know.

454
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,660
To borrow a cup of sugar?

455
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,950
He has been waiting. Working through
Sister Sheila.

456
00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:27,210
She said you were a soul in torment.

457
00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:30,670
And if you wanted to crack it as a nun,
you'd better start by working on me.

458
00:25:30,990 --> 00:25:32,110
Something like that.

459
00:25:32,350 --> 00:25:34,810
You know that you're doomed to failure,
so why bother?

460
00:25:35,610 --> 00:25:41,030
Couldn't you help me out by doing one of
those, you know, miracle conversion

461
00:25:41,030 --> 00:25:42,150
type things?

462
00:25:42,530 --> 00:25:44,350
Turning into Saint Diana of Bayview.

463
00:25:44,650 --> 00:25:46,170
Has a nice ring to it.

464
00:25:46,390 --> 00:25:49,110
No, Jane, no. I think I'd fail the
practical.

465
00:25:49,710 --> 00:25:52,950
Well, not many things go round poisoning
pigeons and tormenting librarians.

466
00:25:53,710 --> 00:25:55,510
I'm never going to get it right.

467
00:25:56,290 --> 00:25:57,790
Why don't you sit down, Jan?

468
00:25:58,630 --> 00:25:59,690
Oh, dear.

469
00:26:00,570 --> 00:26:02,350
It's all so difficult.

470
00:26:02,930 --> 00:26:05,310
Life and thingy. Thingy?

471
00:26:05,690 --> 00:26:07,610
What thingy in particular?

472
00:26:08,070 --> 00:26:11,590
Men and women thingy. Oh, you mean sex.

473
00:26:11,930 --> 00:26:16,350
No, I don't. I mean the whole thing
thingy.

474
00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:21,680
confused. I don't know if I'm coming or
going, or if I've ever been.

475
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,360
And this is the fault of men.

476
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,140
Just one man.

477
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,580
Well, Jane, for once in our lives, you
and I are in the same bucket.

478
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,720
A man is driving me round the loop, too.

479
00:26:33,780 --> 00:26:37,800
Just at a time in my life when I thought
I had all the answers to all the

480
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,600
questions, he goes and asks me a new
one.

481
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,500
And it's one I never thought I'd be
asked again.

482
00:26:44,260 --> 00:26:46,400
So I'm all of a niggle, too.

483
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,940
That's probably why men exist.

484
00:26:50,620 --> 00:26:52,580
To give a stomach upset.

485
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,100
Yes, it is in the stomach, isn't it,
that funny feeling?

486
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:58,480
Oh, yes.

487
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:04,080
Yes. I used to get that when I saw
Harvey's hair oil stain on his pillow.

488
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:09,380
I thought it was love, but it was
probably thingy. Yeah.

489
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:13,160
Thingy. Bloody thingy.