1
00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:54,600
Here he comes. You got the arrow?
Standing by, number one.

2
00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,580
You don't think this is a bit childish,
do you?

3
00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:03,020
He called me a sweet old thing.

4
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,060
Not only passionising, but amazingly
inaccurate.

5
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,880
Shut your face and pass the shooter.

6
00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:15,240
Now, marbles or ball bearings?

7
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,140
Acorns. Acorns?

8
00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,150
You can't take an eye out with acorns.

9
00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:21,430
Precisely.

10
00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:23,990
I thought I was the old woman round
here.

11
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,030
No, I'm the old woman.

12
00:01:26,690 --> 00:01:27,890
You're the old bat.

13
00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:34,650
Here we go again.

14
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,290
Rats! Look what he's done.

15
00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,130
Morning, Miss Trent.

16
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,580
I've got a flamethrower.

17
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:51,800
Come on.

18
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:52,860
Where are you going?

19
00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:55,220
Well, he's got to come back down the
drive again.

20
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:56,980
Remember the great escape?

21
00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:58,740
Of course I do.

22
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,460
When I was shorter, I was Steve McQueen.

23
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,500
We need a rope to stretch across the
drive.

24
00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:12,400
Are you sure this is wise, Harvey?

25
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,960
It is essential, Jane.

26
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,960
The body is the vessel of the soul.

27
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:20,760
Are you?

28
00:02:20,980 --> 00:02:22,760
No, I'm concerned about my body.

29
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:27,660
If I can turn this old bod into a
rippling sex machine, well, then I'll be

30
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:29,100
totally perfect person.

31
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,640
What about personality?

32
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,300
It's a good idea, Jane.

33
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,980
Try and order me some, will you?

34
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,460
And compassion and affection.

35
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,860
Do you want me to order those, too?

36
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,220
Well, who needs them?

37
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,160
Everybody needs compassion, Harvey.

38
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,860
If you don't care for someone...

39
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,460
You aren't really alive.

40
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,180
Yes, but I do care for someone, Jane.

41
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,780
Oh, really?

42
00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,400
Yes, I care for someone very much.

43
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,200
Oh, gosh.

44
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,260
May I be so bold as to inquire who?

45
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:04,560
Well, me, of course.

46
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,900
Has postman Pat set off yet?

47
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,340
No, damn it.

48
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,920
Must be having a cuppa.

49
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:15,780
Get me down.

50
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,350
Since we've come this far.

51
00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:47,730
Do you want to die right now?

52
00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:51,030
Oh, filthy old goat.

53
00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:57,310
Oh, God, what... What in God's name is
this?

54
00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:58,970
My new toy just arrived.

55
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,070
What is it, a DIY enema kit?

56
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,550
It's a damp meter.

57
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,030
Well, what do you do with it?

58
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,310
It measures damp. That's why it's called
a damp meter.

59
00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:09,430
Oh,

60
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,470
they could sell you anything, couldn't
they?

61
00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:14,890
You even have a wooden bead car seat
cover.

62
00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,029
So have a lot of other people.

63
00:04:17,329 --> 00:04:18,930
Yes, but most of them have cars.

64
00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:21,570
Oh, Tom.

65
00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:26,430
You are the dumping ground for every
useless invention of the past 20 years.

66
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:27,669
I am not.

67
00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:30,790
Have you still got that golf thing that
stamps your initials on your balls?

68
00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:34,370
This is important.

69
00:04:34,870 --> 00:04:36,510
It tells me where it's damp.

70
00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:38,710
Well, I could tell you where it's damp.

71
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:42,190
It's damp in the sea, it's damp in the
rain, it's damp in the bloody bath.

72
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,330
Aha! What are you doing?

73
00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:46,629
It's registering.

74
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:47,770
What? Damp.

75
00:04:48,690 --> 00:04:50,370
You must have water on the knee.

76
00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:52,990
Get away from me.

77
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:54,870
You know the cure for water on the knee?

78
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:56,810
Drainpipe trousers.

79
00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:02,150
Ha! It's registering again.

80
00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:04,150
You must have water on the brain.

81
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,570
You know the cure for water on the
brain?

82
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,330
A tap on the head.

83
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:16,470
A tap on the... I got those jokes out of
the beano. That's what I suggest you

84
00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:19,230
put them back. Some seven -year -old
child is probably looking for them.

85
00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,410
Ah, you've got no sense of humour.

86
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:25,090
I have a very good sense of humour, Tom,
which is why I don't like your pathetic

87
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,590
jokes. Oh, God, Tom.

88
00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:31,250
You are becoming a deflated old lilo.

89
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:32,790
What is the matter with you?

90
00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:36,860
You used to have a sort of bizarre
intellectual vigour, but nowadays you're

91
00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:38,700
getting all wet, whimsical and fae.

92
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,780
Why don't you go and watch Bridge Over
the River Kwai again?

93
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,760
Restore your intellectual vigour.

94
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,680
Some chance with you around.

95
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,020
What did you say? Nothing.

96
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,360
No, no, no, come on, what did you say?
It doesn't matter.

97
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:51,080
Will you come back here at once?

98
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,600
That's what I mean.

99
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,420
You're always bossing me, steamrollering
me.

100
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:56,740
You're quite right.

101
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,400
I'm not a person in my own right any
more.

102
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,480
I've become your echo chamber.

103
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:05,760
An occasional voice of reason and
decency, but not much else.

104
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,720
And this is my fault?

105
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:09,820
No, I suppose not. It's just me.

106
00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:14,660
Well, the whole Ballard family,
actually. They've all been a dreadful

107
00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:18,880
time. Not a single member of my family
has ever done anything extraordinary,

108
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,200
discovered penicillin or landed on the
moon.

109
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,340
I would expect they're all fine,
upstanding, decent people.

110
00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:27,020
No, they weren't. They were boring.

111
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,280
They're still boring.

112
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:32,650
And if Geoffrey had his way, he'll bore
us all into the... next century. On and

113
00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:34,710
on. How very depressing.

114
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:41,250
I bet when the world ends, there'll be a
dreary ballad there saying, oh, look,

115
00:06:41,490 --> 00:06:43,930
it's the end of the world and I haven't
returned my library book.

116
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:49,650
Tom, you're a kind man, a considerate
man. You're a good man.

117
00:06:50,230 --> 00:06:53,690
I always wanted to be a bastard.

118
00:06:55,890 --> 00:07:01,820
Flash Harry, a man in a shiny suit who
spoiled birdies. and sold orphans into

119
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:02,820
slavery.

120
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,700
Well, you did cheat at Domino's in 1953.

121
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:07,980
Still didn't win.

122
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:09,620
It's no good.

123
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:11,900
I'll always be the man the world's
forgot.

124
00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:14,260
Nonsense. What was your name again?

125
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,020
And now I have creaky bones.

126
00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:21,680
That's why I've got the damp meter.
Something creeps into my bones overnight

127
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,680
I wake up stiff as a board.

128
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,520
Tom, that's age. That's your midnight
visitor.

129
00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:28,040
Been with me for years.

130
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:29,620
I'm going to check my wall.

131
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,440
Investment people.

132
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,700
What do these dirty little shysters
want?

133
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,640
Dear Miss Trent.

134
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:46,000
The receivers have written to us to
say...

135
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,380
Oh, my God.

136
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,980
How busy you are. This is a matter of
life or death.

137
00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:26,400
Now, I will be on the 1027. Meet me at
the station.

138
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,180
We have some severe head -busting to do.

139
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,640
How is my baby?

140
00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:35,100
Oh, good. Well, you bring her with you.

141
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:39,100
Got to be something worth living for.

142
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,799
Diana, it's 7 .3. Well, aren't you the
lucky chappy?

143
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,300
Well, that's twice what it should be.

144
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,080
Jolly good, but just remember, it's not
the size that counts.

145
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,030
The dam!

146
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:55,310
My room is so damp I could go surfing in
there.

147
00:08:55,510 --> 00:08:56,910
I have to go up to town.

148
00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:59,310
What about that rising dam?

149
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:00,650
Take a cold shower.

150
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,190
Oi, you, porter!

151
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,230
You deaf as well as idle?

152
00:09:37,130 --> 00:09:38,370
You take my bag?

153
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:39,990
Madam, I'm not a porter.

154
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,750
I'm an admiral in Her Majesty's Royal
Navy.

155
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:44,130
Oh.

156
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:48,710
Well, I'm a taxpayer and you're a...
public servants, so pull out your

157
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:50,530
grab me bag, and we'll up anchor.

158
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,830
When royal arrival, you'll find a porter
outside.

159
00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:58,010
Outside is where I want to go, you great
ninny. How much more am I going outside

160
00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,790
to get someone to take me outside?

161
00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:01,390
I'm very sorry, madam.

162
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:05,990
You're not half as sorry as you'll be
when I tell your royal personage that

163
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:10,030
abused and abandoned an old lady on the
platform of one of her majesty's

164
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:11,030
stations.

165
00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:14,190
Come on, then.

166
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:15,410
At the double.

167
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:17,550
Quick, Mart.

168
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,650
Definitely the senior service.

169
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:27,010
You did it. Really?

170
00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:29,830
Oh, there she is.

171
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,930
I don't believe it.

172
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:36,030
Hello, Officer.

173
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:39,370
Oh, get off, girl. What have you done to
your hair? You look like a bug brush.

174
00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:42,230
Divey donkeys.

175
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:43,950
Oi, where's your...

176
00:10:55,370 --> 00:10:59,210
Are you going to come with your great
-auntie? Yes, you are, darling. We're

177
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:02,890
going to go and see those naughty men
break their eddy -weddy.

178
00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:04,450
Oh, God.

179
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:09,250
You're putting your luck, aren't you,
Basil? The last person Diana found in

180
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,130
seat got kneecapped. It's all right.

181
00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:13,830
Diana's laying waste to London today.

182
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:18,930
Besides, she won't mind me. You see,
secretly, Diana has the hots for me.

183
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:26,590
Basil. Yes, she just lives for the day
when Big Bad Bass kicks her door down

184
00:11:26,590 --> 00:11:30,390
takes her screaming to the heights of
animal ecstasy.

185
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:33,810
Take it easy, Basil.

186
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,690
Take it easy. Now, have your soup.

187
00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:39,070
Hang on a minute.

188
00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:43,470
What are you doing?

189
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:45,490
I'm getting a reading.

190
00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:48,690
That's my soup. Get your nozzle out of
it.

191
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,390
8 .2.

192
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:53,980
You see, my room is almost as damp as
your soup.

193
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,820
What? My little nozzle never lies.

194
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,080
Nor does mine.

195
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,460
But I don't go round sticking it in
other people's soup.

196
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:04,800
Oh, Jane.

197
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,120
A word, if you please.

198
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,820
What is it, Tom?

199
00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,280
There's something amiss.

200
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:12,800
It's Harvey.

201
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,240
He's at the hospital.

202
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:17,200
Oh, what's he doing there? Body
snatching?

203
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,320
He's had an accident.

204
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,520
His heart? His neck.

205
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:30,540
He was running down the drive, fit and
healthy one moment, and then flat on his

206
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:31,540
back.

207
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,080
Is he going to be all right?

208
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,040
Yes, I think so.

209
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,500
What of me, Tim?

210
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,800
Tell him I want to see him as soon as
possible.

211
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,620
He'll be back this afternoon.

212
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,560
I'm borrowing strength and you have to
have an appointment.

213
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,600
I'm on my way. You can't go in there.
No!

214
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,700
Excuse me, what do you think you're
doing?

215
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,560
Shut up and sit down. Where's the boss?
I beg your pardon? Where's this Malcolm

216
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,300
person? I'm Jane Malcolm.

217
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:55,620
Well, I don't want his wife.

218
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:57,460
I'm not his wife. There isn't a him.

219
00:13:58,220 --> 00:13:59,780
What's this clotheshorse on about?

220
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,020
This is signed, Jane Malcolm.

221
00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:05,870
She's Jay Malcolm.

222
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,190
It's a woman.

223
00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:08,690
Well, it would appear so.

224
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,410
Do you have some problem dealing with a
woman?

225
00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:13,790
Only when I'm intent upon physical
violence.

226
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:18,350
With men, I have no qualms about
stuffing my fingers up their noses as

227
00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:19,350
the second knuckle.

228
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,970
With members of my own sex, I tend to be
a trifle old -fashioned.

229
00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:25,430
My aunt is a real gentleman.

230
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,210
Would you care to sit down?

231
00:14:29,230 --> 00:14:33,850
I want you to hit someone when you
can't. So stop your nonsense.

232
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,120
Could you explain all this?

233
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,920
It's pretty much as stated in the
letter.

234
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,560
Miss Trent invested the majority of her
savings in the Bartlett and Cairns

235
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:45,560
investment company.

236
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,020
And they've gone under.

237
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,940
They've suffered certain losses which
have necessitated them ceasing trading.

238
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,300
For how long?

239
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,260
We're the receivers.

240
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:56,580
You mean they've gone for good?

241
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,100
Yes. But there must be something left.

242
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,560
Oh, there is.

243
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,140
So my aunt gets her money back.

244
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:07,060
Well, there's a fairly well -defined
pecking order for the distribution of

245
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:08,060
bankrupt assets.

246
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:11,860
But surely a pensioner with no other
source of income will come top of the

247
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:12,980
Not quite.

248
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,860
The inland revenue always takes what's
owed them first.

249
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,020
Then the banks.

250
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:23,980
Then major creditors. And then... But
isn't there a government pension

251
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:26,640
protection scheme thingy? This was a
private scheme.

252
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,700
Better promised return, but a degree of
risk.

253
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,080
And how long will it be before she gets
her widow's mite?

254
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,720
About three years.

255
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:35,440
And how much will that be?

256
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:40,200
It's hard to say, but at a rough guess,
about 17p in the pound.

257
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,800
Do you mean to say Diana has no income?

258
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:49,220
Nothing.

259
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,040
I'm sorry.

260
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:58,520
Well, that's a bit... It's a bit tricky.

261
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,300
So... Just an old woman with no money.

262
00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:15,980
It's just as well I've got you.

263
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,200
He's right, Harvey.

264
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,660
I got Lawrence over from the home care
centre and he agreed Dad has the veer

265
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:27,660
-rising damp.

266
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,800
I've even bought a snorkel and flippers.

267
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,040
It's an unacceptable health hazard for
my father, isn't it, Marion?

268
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,940
Oh. Oh.

269
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:37,340
Oh, absolutely.

270
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,360
I mean, the Sanderson, who also live in
the close, they had terrible damp. It

271
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,640
damn near killed their mother.

272
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:50,380
And... And maybe we're making a bit too
much of a fuss over this, Jerry. No,

273
00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:51,319
we're not.

274
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,020
So, Harvey, what are you going to do?

275
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,420
You look different today.

276
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,840
You've had a haircut.

277
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,099
Harvey has had an accident.

278
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,319
Oh, I don't know.

279
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,780
Oh, it's not too bad.

280
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:13,260
I mean, there's not a lot one can do
with that sort of coarse gypsy hair.

281
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,380
Do you mind?

282
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,540
My hair was quaffed at Julian's by
Julian himself.

283
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:22,540
Can we stick to the point? My father's
damp.

284
00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:24,339
All right, I'll get it fixed.

285
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,040
Take a few months, of course.

286
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,280
Insurance possesses and all that, and
then it'll be summer and the heat will

287
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,620
probably dry it out on its own, so I'll
get on to it next autumn.

288
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:33,960
How's about that?

289
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,900
I want another apartment.

290
00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:37,340
No, I don't think so.

291
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:42,280
But I do think so. The residency
contract states that if there are

292
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,520
problems in the premises, then we have
to get another place provided by the

293
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:47,680
management. That's fine.

294
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:49,740
Who do we throw out into the snow?

295
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:52,180
There isn't any snow, Harvey.

296
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,640
I'm saying there are no single
apartments left.

297
00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:57,630
Then I'll have a double. Me too.

298
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:04,510
What? No single apartments? Then you'll
have to put me in a double. I can't do

299
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:08,170
that. Why not? Because there are no
apartments available.

300
00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:09,430
I'm sorry.

301
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,290
Oh, there is, Harvey.

302
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,450
The Bailey's. That's vacant.

303
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,250
Since they got divorced.

304
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,570
Divorced? At their age?

305
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:21,910
They wanted to wait until the children
were dead.

306
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,320
Thank you so much.

307
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,680
You're fired.

308
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:41,900
This isn't like you.

309
00:18:42,260 --> 00:18:44,120
You don't understand, child.

310
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,640
It's just another battle.

311
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,080
No, it's too big.

312
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,240
How do you mean?

313
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,200
I'm tired, for God's sake.

314
00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,960
I only fight battles apart from myself.
I fight for others. No risk to myself

315
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,640
win or lose. I can crusade just for the
hell of it. I can chew up the odd

316
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,440
council. I can dance on Harvey Bain's
head. It's all kid stuff.

317
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,580
But I can't take on this lot.

318
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,120
It'll take forever.

319
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:17,040
Legal wrangling. Ten years and then
nothing. I'm too old. I haven't the

320
00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:20,660
And now I haven't got the money. The
bastards have ripped it all out from

321
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,660
me.

322
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,420
You could always come and live with me.

323
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,040
Right now, you are living in mortal fear
that I will say, OK, I'll come and live

324
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,040
with you. Oh, I'm not.

325
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:35,600
It'd be hell.

326
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,520
Living with me has always been hell.

327
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:42,420
I would hate to chuck our delicate
relationship down the lab like that.

328
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,380
So what are you going to do?

329
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,440
I don't know.

330
00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:54,750
I want to go home.

331
00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,670
I want to see Tom again.

332
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:05,650
If I were younger, I'd get a helicopter
and a machine gun, track the bastards

333
00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:07,330
down and blow them all to hell.

334
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:10,510
I bet you would, Miss Trent. As it is,
I'd probably end up gibbering on a park

335
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:13,710
bench until they shoveled my remains
into a pauper's grave.

336
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:16,610
Feeling a bit down, are we, Miss Trent?
Oh, shut your face.

337
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:29,240
Come on there, you faithful bearers. We
must reach Kilimanjaro by sunset.

338
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:33,060
What's going on?

339
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,120
Ah, Mensah.

340
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,060
Juana Ballard is moving camp.

341
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:41,480
Witch Doctor Ndingu Bane say many lions
drink here at sunset.

342
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,980
We must hasten. That's my lung.

343
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,760
Faithful pal Hemingway is letting us use
his treehouse.

344
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,280
Hey, that's my chair.

345
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,040
Diana, don't upset the bearers. Hey, put
that sofa down.

346
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,640
Happily.

347
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:05,890
Now, Geoffrey, what have you got to tell
me?

348
00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:08,530
Um, nothing, Diana.

349
00:21:08,790 --> 00:21:10,250
All right, we'll try something simple.

350
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,670
What? What is Marion doing?

351
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:17,910
Morning tea.

352
00:21:18,650 --> 00:21:20,210
What is going on?

353
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:22,610
Oh, all this, you mean? Yes, all this.

354
00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:25,930
Maybe Dad should explain.

355
00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:27,270
Oh, shut up!

356
00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:33,850
Then Harvey got a bit difficult, so I
said...

357
00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:37,520
The damper got into your place as well,
and if he didn't get us a new place,

358
00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:39,280
you'd have to bunk up with him.

359
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,460
He thought of four things my way after
that.

360
00:21:43,620 --> 00:21:45,680
I don't believe that this is happening.

361
00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:51,980
I pop out for a day, I come back, I find
that all my furniture has been

362
00:21:51,980 --> 00:21:58,900
kidnapped, and some SKP from Bawane
Junction is telling me that I'm moving

363
00:21:58,900 --> 00:21:59,519
with him.

364
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,720
I thought you might be rather pleased.

365
00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:03,260
Yes, well, you thought wrong, didn't
you?

366
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,560
Possibly. I usually think wrong. Well,
anyway, it is a matter of complete

367
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:07,780
embuggerance to me.

368
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,040
I am going to be leaving here.

369
00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:11,019
Oh, really?

370
00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:12,700
Yes. I'm tired of this place.

371
00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:14,480
Itchy feet. Time to move on.

372
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:15,680
I see.

373
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,480
What about me?

374
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:19,880
What about you?

375
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:21,940
Where are you going to tell me? Well, I
don't know.

376
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:23,780
Only decided today.

377
00:22:24,180 --> 00:22:26,960
Just thought I might have meant
something to you, that's all.

378
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:29,600
Well.

379
00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:31,560
Oh, all right.

380
00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:39,070
Yes. Yes, you do, but... Well, life
moves on, doesn't it? I mean, you can't

381
00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:42,350
come to a dead top because some old
bloodhound is hanging around your back

382
00:22:42,350 --> 00:22:43,390
peeing over your milk bottles.

383
00:22:44,890 --> 00:22:46,930
A real tough old broad, aren't you?

384
00:22:47,130 --> 00:22:49,590
Yes. Yes, I am. Where will you go?

385
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:53,410
Town. I really enjoyed myself in London
today.

386
00:22:53,730 --> 00:22:54,850
I can still get about.

387
00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:57,010
Not such a crock as I make out.

388
00:22:57,650 --> 00:23:00,450
I shall probably find myself somewhere
closed in.

389
00:23:00,830 --> 00:23:02,650
Go and see films, theatres.

390
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,680
Dig up old pals.

391
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,140
Diana. Hang out in journalist pubs.

392
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,700
Diana, I know.

393
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,380
What? I know.

394
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:14,840
What do you know?

395
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,140
I read the letter from the receivers.

396
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,320
I know your skint.

397
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,200
You bastard.

398
00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:26,680
Oh, thank you. I'm a bastard at last.

399
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:32,540
I am outraged, appalled. Your behaviour
is disgraceful.

400
00:23:33,070 --> 00:23:34,770
Wonderful. I'll be a bounder yet.

401
00:23:34,990 --> 00:23:36,030
I'm not joking, Tom.

402
00:23:36,310 --> 00:23:39,290
You have invaded my privacy to the
utmost degree.

403
00:23:39,930 --> 00:23:42,050
I'll have your balls in the ringer for
this.

404
00:23:47,270 --> 00:23:51,330
Would you just take your hands off me?

405
00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:52,950
Take it easy.

406
00:23:53,150 --> 00:23:54,670
Oh, ow, bloody ow.

407
00:23:55,150 --> 00:23:56,170
Can you stand?

408
00:23:56,510 --> 00:23:57,650
Of course I can stand.

409
00:23:58,330 --> 00:24:00,510
Damn blasted sodding hip.

410
00:24:00,850 --> 00:24:02,250
Should have had them both done.

411
00:24:02,990 --> 00:24:05,130
I won't have anyone to catch you in
London.

412
00:24:05,670 --> 00:24:06,670
Get lost.

413
00:24:06,870 --> 00:24:11,470
You told me to take a firmer line on my
life, so I am. Well, hooray, go away.

414
00:24:11,710 --> 00:24:13,070
You are going to move in with me.

415
00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:14,530
Don't be ridiculous.

416
00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:16,170
I mean you're going to share with me.

417
00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:22,310
There are two bedrooms. I wasn't
suggesting any beastly behaviour, except

418
00:24:22,310 --> 00:24:23,310
saints' days.

419
00:24:24,870 --> 00:24:25,870
Forget it.

420
00:24:25,930 --> 00:24:29,930
If Harvey hears you're broke, he'll have
you down at the knackers before you can

421
00:24:29,930 --> 00:24:31,050
say a pot of glue.

422
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:36,220
I like living on my own. You can't
afford it. It's precisely the double

423
00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:40,260
still has to be paid for. I can pay for
that on my own. No, I am not accepting

424
00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:41,500
charity. It wouldn't be.

425
00:24:42,420 --> 00:24:43,600
I will be keeping accounts.

426
00:24:44,460 --> 00:24:48,860
You will be running up a bill which will
have to be paid around the year 2050 or

427
00:24:48,860 --> 00:24:49,860
you're out on your ear.

428
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,120
What is the alternative?

429
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,900
See? There is no alternative.

430
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:00,400
I could kill myself.

431
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:01,700
Oh, come on.

432
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,760
Think logically.

433
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:03,799
Certainly not.

434
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,560
Logic has no place in decent argument.

435
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:08,460
See? You don't have any real objections.

436
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,700
You would be my landlord.

437
00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:12,320
Well, that's my little bonus.

438
00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:14,560
You'd have to pay your share in kind.

439
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,320
You'd be my love slave.

440
00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,160
Get knotted.

441
00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:22,260
All right.

442
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,640
We'll do a deal.

443
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,520
Try it for a month. A month? Then you
can kill yourself.

444
00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:28,969
A short month.

445
00:25:28,970 --> 00:25:30,690
Fine. Oh, I don't know.

446
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,230
Just let's go and have a look, shall we?

447
00:25:33,710 --> 00:25:35,190
At our new home.

448
00:25:35,530 --> 00:25:36,750
Home? Oh.

449
00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:38,390
Come on.

450
00:25:40,790 --> 00:25:41,990
Oh, God.

451
00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:44,070
Come to this, has it?

452
00:25:44,590 --> 00:25:49,990
After all those years of taking the
world by storm, being fated, being

453
00:25:50,110 --> 00:25:56,190
sleeping with 17 world leaders, all
those campaigns, all those battles, all

454
00:25:56,190 --> 00:25:57,190
those gin and tonics.

455
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:04,180
Leading photojournalist, ends life
shacked up with dog -eared old golf bag.

456
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,920
Quite lucky, I suppose.

457
00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:24,840
Well, farewell, Units 5 and 6, our
little harbours in the sea of troubles

458
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,140
that is Fair Bay View.

459
00:26:26,890 --> 00:26:31,830
We've spent many happy and eventful
years beneath your stone turrets, behind

460
00:26:31,830 --> 00:26:33,610
your stout oak and drawbridge.

461
00:26:33,970 --> 00:26:36,490
But now... But now, shut up!

462
00:26:37,490 --> 00:26:40,330
But now it's time to shut up.

463
00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:47,090
Marianne?

464
00:26:48,210 --> 00:26:49,210
Yoo -hoo!

465
00:26:49,950 --> 00:26:50,950
Marianne!

466
00:26:51,350 --> 00:26:53,190
It's time to go home, dear.

467
00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:55,430
Geoffrey? Marianne?

468
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,380
What the heck is going on? I mean, what
is this? Some sort of garden party?

469
00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:02,380
Antonia, will you leave her alone? Then
you get up and get lazy baggage.

470
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,639
Ah, Tom.

471
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:04,720
Now, what is going on?

472
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,460
We are moving into winter quarters.

473
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:10,400
The bearers appear to be taking a
breather. Would you mind getting on with

474
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,440
The place looks so dumb.

475
00:27:11,540 --> 00:27:12,539
Are they? What?

476
00:27:12,540 --> 00:27:14,020
Is their thing really solid?

477
00:27:14,420 --> 00:27:15,420
Ow!

478
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,480
Oh, glorious snafu!

479
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,060
What? I'm SNAFU.

480
00:27:31,979 --> 00:27:34,700
Should I carry you over the threshold?

481
00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:36,400
Just open the door.

482
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,900
Diana Trent, this is your life.