1 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,400 I will kill Harvey Bane. Hi, Anna. 2 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,380 Look at the bright side. 3 00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:04,440 Rain is very good for the skin. 4 00:01:04,819 --> 00:01:08,480 In a couple of hours, I'll have a face like a baby's bottom. 5 00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,680 I will do it slowly. 6 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,240 I'm sure there must be a positive side to pneumonia. 7 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,940 Cut off his ears first. I never liked his ears. 8 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,560 The rain is not Harvey's fault. 9 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,240 Yes, of course it is. Everything is Harvey's fault. 10 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,760 Mainly the bloody baby bus is Harvey's fault. 11 00:01:27,449 --> 00:01:29,130 Buses break down occasionally. 12 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:33,230 Especially when they're a hundred years old, never serviced and driven by 13 00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:35,570 Portuguese gardeners who sacrifice sheep in them. 14 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:39,130 He does not, Diana. 15 00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:41,130 You do exaggerate. 16 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,810 Here it comes. 17 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:49,990 Come on, you lot. Get out your passes, gather up your dead and for God's sake, 18 00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:51,050 let's get on the bus. 19 00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:10,259 Pensioner's passes aren't operative until 9 .30. 20 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,260 It's only 9 .26. 21 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,040 Thank you. 22 00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:17,580 Tough. I don't believe this. 23 00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:18,980 That's wrong. 24 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,380 He always does this. 25 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,180 But it's our fault for being pensioners. 26 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:21,750 to spend the day... 27 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:59,540 Well, yes, but... No, but... But... No, but... 28 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,600 Goodbye. 29 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,620 Well, I certainly told him. 30 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,800 Hello, Harvey. 31 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,680 God, Jane, you look awful. 32 00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:16,440 How many times do I have to tell you I'm a man of delicate sensibilities? And it 33 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,279 really upsets me to see a hideous woman dripping round the office. 34 00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:26,910 and the bus was late. Oh, God, Jane, don't whine. Do you want to give me an 35 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:28,650 answer? Now, what do you want? 36 00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:33,710 There was a bit of an incident on the bus. Don't talk to me about incidents. 37 00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:36,030 I've just had the police on the phone with a string of incidents. 38 00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:40,210 Basil Makey throwing some sort of sex festival in the public library. 39 00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:44,950 Diana Trent in boots hitting that nice lady with a squint. 40 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:48,470 And Tom Ballard, now, what was he doing throwing a boomerang from the window of 41 00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:49,470 a moving train? 42 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,300 Einstein's theory of relativity. 43 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,740 Einstein? Who's he, another troublemaker? 44 00:04:56,820 --> 00:05:02,920 A scientist and philosopher who theorised that the time -space continuum 45 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:03,920 probably a curve. 46 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,540 Oh, that Einstein. 47 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:11,980 Tom, by throwing an object that curved naturally in flight was trying to prove 48 00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:16,400 that it should return to the same place a second or two before it left. 49 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:17,699 And what happened? 50 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,320 It broke the window in the buffet car. 51 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,200 this and they'll close this down. 52 00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,180 What's all this about the bus? I thought our bus was in for repair. 53 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:28,760 It is. So? 54 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:33,780 So we had to go on the local bus, but the driver wouldn't let us on. 55 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:37,620 So Diana beat him up and threw him in a ditch. 56 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,560 fight with Mr. Kwok, the chef, in pulp. 57 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,460 Bad for Bayview. 58 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:14,680 Come on, Antonio, grab a hand. 59 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,940 Oh, oh. 60 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,240 Oh, 61 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,880 thanks. 62 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,380 You're going to have to get a bigger car, Sarah. My aunt would kill me. 63 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,560 You know Diana loves stealing this car. 64 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,380 Think so. Mind you, I haven't heard her yelling for a while, so she might be 65 00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:33,380 having a kip. 66 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,540 I think I'm the breather. 67 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,700 I don't know how this breeding business caught on. 68 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,140 Is Idiot Baines around? 69 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,100 My goodness me. 70 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:53,840 What are you nipping? 71 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,340 Baby booties. 72 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,440 What for? 73 00:06:58,590 --> 00:06:59,590 A giraffe with rickets? 74 00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:04,850 I can't do heels and I can't cast off. 75 00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:10,590 Let's face it, I can't knit. I've been sweating over those for four weeks now. 76 00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:11,690 To hell with them. 77 00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:17,390 You're not really doting great art material, are you? No, I'll probably 78 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:21,150 until it's a teenager and take it to all the bars and teach it to street fight. 79 00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:23,290 A nice home county's upbringing. 80 00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:30,330 What with the bus driver and that... cock -eyed little chemist woman that 81 00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:32,030 start carving notches on your bedhead. 82 00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:33,930 You need a noodle up your nose. 83 00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:35,890 I do understand, you know. 84 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:37,149 Understand what? 85 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:39,450 You. Me? You understand me? 86 00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:43,070 You don't even know who I am. You've been calling me Bette Davis for the last 87 00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:43,829 three days. 88 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:47,390 With your nasal... Since the hospital let you think you were dying, you have 89 00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:49,190 been behaving like a vicious old shrew. 90 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,510 Really? Yes. 91 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:55,950 While most people who cheat death will go around smiling and being nice to 92 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:57,070 snails and things... 93 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,200 You have been going around belting people. 94 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,920 I'm just settling a few scores. 95 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,200 You can't belt them once you've snuffed it. 96 00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:07,540 You could manage it. 97 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:11,480 My God, what's that great fat thing rolling up the hill? 98 00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:12,760 It's the lovely Sarah. 99 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:14,920 She's bigger than a zeppelin. 100 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,780 Hello, Auntie. Don't call me Auntie. 101 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,300 What are you doing flopping around like a beached whale? 102 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,300 A green piece will come along in a minute and drag you out to sea. 103 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,720 Get her a glass of water. 104 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,320 Oh, do stop fussing. I'm only pregnant. 105 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,320 But you're about 15 months gone. 106 00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:35,080 What are you trying to do, drop your sprog on my carpet? 107 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:41,580 Tom, do tell her to shut up. Diana, shut up. All right. I'm calm. I'm sorry. 108 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,500 What are you doing here? 109 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,120 I've come to stay. 110 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:48,740 I've had a word with the idiot Baines. I'm taking the guest room. 111 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,600 Why? So I can have my baby down here, close to my family. 112 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,100 What family? 113 00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:58,220 You. You, Diana, you happen to be the only family I've got left. 114 00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,880 Oh, you poor little thing. 115 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,520 What on earth is this? You'll give that back. 116 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,980 Go on, Diana, tell her what it is. 117 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,440 I dare you. 118 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,000 It's a donkey's willy warmer. 119 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,140 Here you go. 120 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:17,420 Where's Sarah, then? 121 00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:21,240 Checking out the local maternity set -up. Oh, is she having natural 122 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:22,620 What's the alternative? 123 00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:23,740 Unnatural childbirth? 124 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,000 A pejoral of induction season, you know. 125 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,440 Never having gone through the undignified fandugal myself, I've no 126 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,119 goes on. 127 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,660 That lot of help you'll be. 128 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,060 What does she mean, help? 129 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,260 Nothing to do with me. 130 00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,200 Why do you think Sarah has come down here? 131 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,540 I don't know. 132 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,300 She wants someone to hold her hand, poor little mite. 133 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:47,140 Well, fine, I'll do it. I'll be right here. 134 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,820 Here is not much good. She wants you there at the time. 135 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,199 Hi, babe. 136 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,980 I'm Baz Magpies, the local sex machine. 137 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,500 I wonder if you'd like to... Oh, you already have. 138 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,000 Nice to meet you. 139 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:08,920 Hello, Sarah. 140 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,580 How did it go? 141 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,040 Oh, fine. 142 00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:15,100 Well, they have everything down here. 143 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,339 What everything? 144 00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:17,420 Well, birthing methods. 145 00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,420 They even have underwater facilities. 146 00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:22,040 What? Well, so you can have your baby underwater. 147 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,600 Well, won't it drown? 148 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,800 Oh, you're so ignorant, Diana. 149 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,660 They give them snorkels. 150 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,420 And they do the Lamar's method. 151 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,840 Hey, Lamar, is that? 152 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,800 Oh, I had a fling with her once. 153 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,640 Didn't know she was a birth expert. 154 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:41,280 No, it means you have your baby in a quiet, darkened room with soft music on 155 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,980 sofa. That does wonders for the old Sanderson Prince. 156 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,420 Do they have the bat method? 157 00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:49,020 What's that? 158 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,040 You hang by the feet from the roof of a cave. 159 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:54,720 and hope the thing can fly before it hits the floor. 160 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,400 Eat your jelly, Tom. 161 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:02,280 Now, I've been doing some natural childbirth classes, you know, special 162 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:06,000 breathing and all that, so I've signed up to a local class this afternoon. 163 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:07,380 Ah. 164 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,560 Yes, so you know what to do in the delivery room. 165 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,740 Diana? 166 00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:15,460 Delivery room? 167 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,120 Well, where else do you expect me to have it? 168 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,400 What? Where you... you actually... me? 169 00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:26,290 Come on. Outside. 170 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:27,650 Come on. Tom. 171 00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:30,850 Yes, now listen, Diana. Get out of my way. 172 00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:33,590 Listen to me, Tom. Out of the way. 173 00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:36,670 They want their bus back. 174 00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:42,990 I can't. I just can't. Why not? 175 00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:44,470 I just can't. 176 00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:47,530 Squeamish, that's what it is. It's all right if you like. I'm squeamish. 177 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,670 Diana, you were a war photographer. 178 00:11:49,930 --> 00:11:52,490 You'd be more blood and gore than God knows who. 179 00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:53,870 I'm just... 180 00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:58,980 Right. 181 00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,540 Goodness me, look at the time. 182 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,600 I must get the old wooden horse out beside the barbed wire fence. 183 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,640 See you in Blighty. 184 00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:12,320 Dickie, Johnny, tumbling time. 185 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,760 Diana, sit down. 186 00:12:28,110 --> 00:12:29,210 Now, what is it? 187 00:12:29,890 --> 00:12:31,010 Oh, I don't know. 188 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,510 I just can't. Yes, right. 189 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,270 OK. 190 00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:37,790 It doesn't matter. 191 00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:41,350 I never had any children. 192 00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:42,770 You never wanted any. 193 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,510 You always said you weren't the mumsy type. 194 00:12:44,710 --> 00:12:45,910 Yes. Yes. 195 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:47,890 That's what I said. 196 00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:50,550 That's what I shouted from the rooftops. 197 00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:53,470 I shouted so loud, I almost came to believe it myself. 198 00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:57,130 I was lying. 199 00:12:58,700 --> 00:12:59,700 I couldn't have children. 200 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:06,420 Something knotted or twisted inside me in more ways than one, probably. Diana. 201 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:07,820 It doesn't matter. 202 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:12,260 It doesn't mean that I'm unfulfilled as a woman or anything so cretinously 203 00:13:12,260 --> 00:13:13,260 claptrappy. 204 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,060 Far from it. 205 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:22,700 It's just... Oh, I don't know. Some primeval echo calling down the old 206 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:23,720 chromosome tunnel. 207 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,060 Don't meet your barren waists face to face. 208 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:38,220 Since mum died, I've always looked to you, you know. 209 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:39,720 Have you really? 210 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:40,860 Yes. 211 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,000 And you shouldn't have. 212 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,120 Your mother was an orchid. 213 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,280 She was rare, wonderful. 214 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,020 She was a good person. 215 00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:50,980 I'm not a good person. 216 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,800 I'm a crabby old cactus. 217 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,040 And I cannot. 218 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,710 Take her place. 219 00:13:57,490 --> 00:14:01,810 You really do live in mortal fear of being loved, don't you? Oh, for God's 220 00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:02,850 shut up. 221 00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:07,030 Diana, my mother isn't here. 222 00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:10,470 My husband isn't here. 223 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:14,890 I'm scared. 224 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,310 I do sort of need you. 225 00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:29,170 Christ. So now we are in the transition stage. 226 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:32,850 We are trying not to push. We are clenching the floor of the womb. 227 00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:37,810 We are asking how far we are dilated and calming ourselves for the next phase. 228 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,069 All right. 229 00:14:39,070 --> 00:14:43,030 Now here comes the next contraction. And these are the biggies. Right into the 230 00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:44,030 breathing. 231 00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:46,490 Then big blow. 232 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,830 And here it comes. And we push. 233 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:02,070 Fine, fine. 234 00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:06,630 Just what I need. Spend the afternoon with some porpoises rolling around on 235 00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:07,630 classroom floor. 236 00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:08,730 Great fun. 237 00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,750 It's only a rehearsal, Diane. 238 00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,410 I nearly died. 239 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,870 Oh, look, I'm no good at this. 240 00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:19,370 You're asking too much. I want out. 241 00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:21,030 Oh, really? 242 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:22,310 Yes. 243 00:15:22,690 --> 00:15:26,750 Well, I'd be no good to you in the delivery room. Some twisted old crone 244 00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:27,870 throwing up in a corner. 245 00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,550 I thought it would be even good. 246 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,900 Flush out a few old devils. 247 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,160 No, thank you. 248 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,340 They're the only friends I have nowadays. 249 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,080 Carefully nurtured paranoia is all that keeps some of us going. 250 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:43,920 Where are you off to? 251 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,060 Well, you're not going to be any good to me. 252 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,120 Self -pitying old misery guts. 253 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,100 No, I'll go and ask Tom. 254 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,340 See if he'll stand by me. 255 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,920 Don't be ridiculous. 256 00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:58,460 You're going to have a baby and not go to the Mad Hatter's tea party. 257 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,500 Wait! 258 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,460 Dad? 259 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,720 Hello, Dad? 260 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:08,340 He's away. 261 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,260 Jane? He's usually back by now. 262 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,440 Maybe there's been a collapse in the tunnel. 263 00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:15,780 What tunnel? 264 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,340 A coldie. 265 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,900 Under the outer fence. 266 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:22,000 It's always tricky when it's been raining. 267 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,780 What is she talking about? 268 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,560 Tuesdays, Dickie Attenborough, Johnny Mills and Tom tunnel out a coldie. Oh. 269 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,080 Maybe we should pull him out. Good idea, Jane. Jeffrey, you check the guards. 270 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,960 Come on, Jane, you take one foot each. Come on, that's it. Now, easy does it. 271 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,700 Easy. Oi! 272 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,560 What the heck do you think you're doing? 273 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,320 We're pulling you out of the mud, Tom. At Colditz, the tunnel's collapsed. 274 00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:46,100 What are they talking about? 275 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,680 I haven't a clue, Dad. I'm not even sure if I'm really here. 276 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,040 You're all crackers. 277 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:52,819 Colditz, indeed. 278 00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,480 I thought it sounded a bit much. I escaped months ago. 279 00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:59,700 I've just been waiting in France for the RA. They have to drop me another pair 280 00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:00,700 of tin legs. 281 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,580 Let go of my feet! 282 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,280 If only the bottom hadn't dropped out of double glazing. 283 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,900 Can we get on with this, please? 284 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,359 Apparently you've stolen a bus, Dad. 285 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:10,980 Have I? 286 00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:14,900 Yesterday you dropped us off here and then you said you were taking it back to 287 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,800 the depot. And you obviously didn't, so where is it? Ah! 288 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,540 Someone's trying to frame me. 289 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,200 Come on, Geoffrey, we must find him. 290 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,220 Like the Mounties, we must get our man. 291 00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:28,040 I'll be Nelson, Eddie. 292 00:17:28,490 --> 00:17:29,950 You could be Jeanette MacDonald. 293 00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,990 I'm looking up for life. My life. 294 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:34,850 I'll be calling you. 295 00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:42,290 Where am I? 296 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,950 What are we doing here, Dan? 297 00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,970 What are we doing here? Well, I'm not sure, Geoffrey. 298 00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:53,850 Some may think we are a sublime figment of a whimsical god's imagination. 299 00:17:54,850 --> 00:17:57,530 Others are of the opinion that if you... 300 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:04,760 Look upon the universe as a huge fish shop. We are but a speck of salt on a 301 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:05,940 discarded chip. 302 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,080 I meant, why are we watching that house? 303 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,100 Ah, all is to be revealed. Look. 304 00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:20,460 See, there is Ron Arthur, the world's most condescending and callous bus 305 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:24,820 Follow that bike. 306 00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:32,110 What is the point of all this, Dad? 307 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:36,430 Well, one school of opinion states that there isn't a point in anything at all 308 00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,410 and that we are just a random collection of chance events. 309 00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:42,950 On the other hand, put your foot down, Geoffrey. 310 00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:47,610 All over. 311 00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:48,990 He's going into that yard. 312 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:19,290 Do we keep following? No. I think we've found our rainbow's end. Come on. 313 00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,330 Dad, this is a real waste of time. 314 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:28,650 Come on, Geoffrey. 315 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,770 Up you go. 316 00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:35,850 What do you see? 317 00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:38,590 A Bournemouth Corporation bus. 318 00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:46,020 Dastardly swine. I took the bus back to him and he said he'd return it to the 319 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:50,520 depot. But he hid it so that I'd get the blame and he could get his own back on 320 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,199 us all. 321 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,780 Dad, my fingers are breaking. 322 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,800 Oh, look, Battle. There's an emu in the bushes. 323 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,040 Where? 324 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,110 Good movie. 325 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:13,750 Excellent. 326 00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:15,950 I'm a bit worried about your eyesight, though. 327 00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:22,750 Why? Well, up to now, you've seen an emu, a rhinoceros, and a pair of rutting 328 00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:23,750 armadillo. 329 00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,730 But you didn't see this. 330 00:20:27,990 --> 00:20:28,990 Checkmate. 331 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,430 You can't do that. 332 00:20:30,710 --> 00:20:31,569 And why not? 333 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:33,590 Because I was cheating. If I hadn't cheated, you wouldn't have won. 334 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:44,660 you really do breach the boundaries of acceptable eccentricity. 335 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,560 What is the matter with you? Oh, I don't know. 336 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,980 What's on your mind? 337 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,640 Babies. Breeding. 338 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:57,500 The whole concept of the continuation of the species in this ghastly, 339 00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,360 godforsaken, dismal, rotten, manky world. 340 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:05,400 Well, I wouldn't worry about it. Breeding -wise, I think you've left your 341 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,400 bit late. 342 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:11,600 And have I missed out? I mean, would I have been different if I had managed the 343 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,100 old squat down in a paddy field and spit out a sprung bit? 344 00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:20,100 Rest assured, Diana, if you'd had ten children, I'm sure you would have 345 00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,440 to be just as awful as you are. 346 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,520 Thank you, Basil. 347 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,240 But I won't be comforted. I mean, look at all the people who managed to breathe 348 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,240 so copiously. 349 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,940 Disc jockeys, estate agents, the Welsh. 350 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,910 James could manage it if you gave him an instruction manual and pointed him in 351 00:21:40,910 --> 00:21:41,910 the right direction. 352 00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:46,650 Someone like me, a woman of wisdom, experience, a great left hook. 353 00:21:47,470 --> 00:21:52,630 I didn't manage it. I didn't qualify for the most inexclusive club in the world. 354 00:21:54,170 --> 00:21:55,630 I know what to cheer you up. 355 00:21:55,970 --> 00:22:01,110 Why don't you and I pop off to some sleazy motel and really make the 356 00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:02,110 curl? 357 00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:06,270 Mr. Basil, when I want to coagulate with a terrapin, I'll let you know. 358 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,380 She's having it. Who's having what? Sarah's having the baby. 359 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,820 Oh, my God. Danik, come on, everybody. Danik. 360 00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:16,260 Danik. 361 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,440 Danik, Basil. 362 00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:24,580 What are you doing? 363 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:26,960 Having a contraction. 364 00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:29,520 I'll get a car. Oh, no, it's too small. 365 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:30,840 Well, where's the bus? 366 00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:32,080 Oh, don't answer that. 367 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,280 Where's the beans? 368 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,720 of taking this straight back, Dad. 369 00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:51,060 I don't want to waste a journey. I told the pitch club, Bob. 370 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,220 This isn't the Prince Club. 371 00:23:39,620 --> 00:23:40,620 Get back. 372 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,120 You get back. 373 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,300 I'll dump this lot. 374 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,940 You go and have your baby. 375 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:50,500 You can't leave me, Tom. 376 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:51,820 You can manage. 377 00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:53,580 You're a woman. 378 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:54,920 What's that got to do with anything? 379 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,840 I can't do this, Tom. 380 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,080 I can't. 381 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,020 One, two... 382 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:21,460 Some oxygen. 383 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:29,580 Oh, I'm sorry. 384 00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:31,300 Do you want a drag? 385 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,720 Yeah, thanks. 386 00:24:33,100 --> 00:24:35,320 How many more? 387 00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:36,960 Next one should do it. 388 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:38,400 Bloody better. 389 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,000 I should have had an epidural. 390 00:26:12,930 --> 00:26:15,510 They found the butt, so it looks like you're off the hook. 391 00:26:16,170 --> 00:26:17,170 How's that? 392 00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:20,110 Apparently it was found around the back of the driver's place after an anonymous 393 00:26:20,110 --> 00:26:21,110 tip -off. 394 00:26:21,950 --> 00:26:23,050 Oh, poor fellow. 395 00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:24,530 Won't be bothering us again, then? 396 00:26:25,430 --> 00:26:26,430 No. 397 00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:28,330 Jane. 398 00:26:30,770 --> 00:26:33,350 You're getting very vengeful in your old age. Oh, look, here she comes. 399 00:26:33,610 --> 00:26:36,390 Better than getting soft in your old age. What do you mean by that? Ever 400 00:26:36,390 --> 00:26:39,910 that child was born, you've been caught smiling and being pleasant all over the 401 00:26:39,910 --> 00:26:40,910 place. It's rubbish. 402 00:26:41,370 --> 00:26:42,370 It's all right, Diana. 403 00:26:42,690 --> 00:26:44,470 Everyone's allowed to be human now and again. 404 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:45,730 Even you. 405 00:26:46,370 --> 00:26:47,410 Shut up. 406 00:26:51,310 --> 00:26:52,310 Hold it right there. 407 00:26:52,650 --> 00:26:53,650 Wait a minute. 408 00:26:57,610 --> 00:26:58,810 Right. Breath. 409 00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:00,110 Give me my towel. 410 00:27:00,590 --> 00:27:01,590 Be gentle. 411 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:07,710 Right, 412 00:27:08,270 --> 00:27:09,270 you lot. 413 00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:12,360 Now, you may think that I should be falling off my pants. One day soon. 414 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,020 And I'm sure that one day that joyous occasion may come to pass. 415 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:17,820 But have no fear. 416 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:21,920 Let me introduce you to my great niece. 417 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:24,340 The next Diana. 418 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,280 The new Diana. 419 00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:31,220 The Diana of the future. Who will, I trust, carry the torch of stubborn 420 00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:34,460 -mindedness, murder and mayhem well into the next century. 421 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,700 I give you Diana. 422 00:27:42,830 --> 00:27:43,830 Not another one.