1 00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:04,430 How have we managed to stay together all these years? It's simple. 2 00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:07,090 I never listen to a single word your father says. 3 00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:13,310 I mean, I can see his mouth move, but to me it sounds like Charlie Brown's 4 00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,310 teacher. 5 00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:23,370 Very nice. Your delivery 6 00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:25,170 was quite serviceable. 7 00:00:25,490 --> 00:00:28,110 Serviceable? Great. That's just what I was going for. 8 00:00:28,870 --> 00:00:30,490 Well, don't get discouraged, sir. 9 00:00:31,370 --> 00:00:34,250 Use the props to illuminate the text. 10 00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:40,570 For example, you're holding a can of pledge, but you didn't do anything with 11 00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,310 Well, that's because my character and I don't like to clean. 12 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:48,330 What your character doesn't like is her husband. 13 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,350 I need to see that in her cleaning. 14 00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:53,690 Okay, go. 15 00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:55,190 Huh? Clean! 16 00:00:58,060 --> 00:01:01,560 How have we stayed together all these years, Lord? I don't see the anger. 17 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,480 Think of that pledge as a big can of rage. 18 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,660 Spray the rage, Sybil. 19 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,240 Spray the rage! 20 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:17,940 I never listen to a single word you put us out! More, Sybil! You hate to clean! 21 00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:22,420 I can see us let go! No, you're cleaning more! But to me it sounds like Charlie 22 00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:23,420 Brown's teacher! 23 00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:24,860 That's it! 24 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:33,389 Okay, everyone. 25 00:01:33,390 --> 00:01:34,750 That's all the time we have today. 26 00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:36,550 Think bold. 27 00:01:37,710 --> 00:01:38,710 Be fearless. 28 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:42,290 And remember, an actor acts. 29 00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:49,470 Good scene. 30 00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:51,490 Thanks. Just one note. 31 00:01:51,910 --> 00:01:55,370 No matter how angry you get, never polish against the grain. 32 00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:58,610 My character and I think you should mind your own business. 33 00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:06,490 Thanks, Trevor. 34 00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:08,550 I like it when you push me to take risks. 35 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:13,170 And in that spirit, would you like to go out with me tonight? 36 00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:15,070 Oh, sure. 37 00:02:15,590 --> 00:02:17,770 I'm sorry, but that delivery wasn't very convincing. 38 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,630 I would love to go out with you. 39 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:22,470 Pedestrian. 40 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:28,710 People with every fiber of my being, I would feel privileged to escort you 41 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:29,710 anywhere. 42 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:31,690 Now try it with a southern accent. 43 00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:36,270 Pick me up at 8. 44 00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:06,780 Dick. 45 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,580 It's your alimony check. 46 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,080 Wow, he gives you that much every month? 47 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,279 Not the amount. 48 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,280 The memo line. 49 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:17,480 Hmm. Blood money for the whore of Babylon? 50 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,820 I thought you were from Buffalo. 51 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,200 Oh, look, there's Ira Woodbine, famous writer. 52 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:28,260 Must be using Windows 95 to pick up chicks again. 53 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,220 It's over. It's all over. Having trouble getting started on your new book? 54 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,460 What new book? 55 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,420 I'm blocked. I'm empty. I couldn't even knock out a pamphlet. 56 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:41,800 Oh, Ira, I know you have trouble getting started, but I want you to know I am 57 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,520 behind you every step of the way. 58 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,840 I hope they have that pasta cob thing today. 59 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:50,020 Sybil, you gotta let me work at your house. 60 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,280 Oh, no. 61 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,160 Sybil, when we were living together, I could really write. 62 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,800 It could have been the agony of our marriage. It could have been the 63 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,800 I don't know. 64 00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,700 A week, just to get started. 65 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,800 But you order one pay -per -view movie, and you're out of there. 66 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,840 Table for two for the acting teacher's pet. 67 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:13,660 Our specials today are filet of suck -up and the brown nose pot pot. 68 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,399 Speaking of no tip. 69 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:18,880 I'll be right back with your complimentary drinks. 70 00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:25,920 So, where are you and Olivier going tonight? Another tractor pull? 71 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,540 Trevor and I are going to a new play at the Taper. 72 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:36,380 I have never dated a more talented and inspiring man, and lordy can he pack a 73 00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:37,380 pair of Levi's. 74 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,100 So, tell me, have you bagged the buck? 75 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:45,200 No, but I've got him in the crosshairs. 76 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:50,240 I wouldn't trust your aim. It's been over a year since you squeaked off a 77 00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:55,540 One more hunting metaphor and you're going to end up strapped to the hood of 78 00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:56,540 car. 79 00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:00,040 Oh, look, somebody's visiting her boyfriend. 80 00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:04,850 Do they live here? 81 00:05:06,290 --> 00:05:07,290 Hi, Sean! 82 00:05:08,190 --> 00:05:09,310 Zoe, come on over. 83 00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:13,770 I once dated a boy named Sean. Sean Garrett. He's a woman now. 84 00:05:15,450 --> 00:05:17,290 Here, sit down, honey. Hi, Zoe. 85 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:20,550 So, visiting your boyfriend at work, huh? 86 00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:22,370 Sound serious. 87 00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:25,650 Hey, why don't you just say it, Mother? Are you two having sex? 88 00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:27,070 No. Are you? 89 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,670 You know very well I took a vow of chastity. 90 00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,770 Sybil, that's what you should do. Call it a vow. 91 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:40,070 Well, that's very funny, but I've chosen chastity because it simplifies my life 92 00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,630 and provides me with a sense of serenity. 93 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:43,870 I can tell. 94 00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:48,970 Honey, you do know there are ways to release that serenity. 95 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,450 Oh, no, I'm not having this conversation with you. 96 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,750 All right, but you know there's some excellent books on the subject. 97 00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:58,230 Sex for One by Betty Dodson. I'm gone. 98 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,160 Congratulate me, Sybil. 99 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,740 Marianne, remember when you called and I said I have a date, don't come over? 100 00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:18,000 What I meant was, I have a date, don't come over. 101 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,100 Guess how I punished Dr. Dick. 102 00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:25,340 You remarried him? 103 00:06:29,260 --> 00:06:32,160 Worse, I called the FBI and told them he was the Unabomber. 104 00:06:36,590 --> 00:06:38,930 Oh, he writes a nasty crack on your alimony check. 105 00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:40,790 You call the feds on him. 106 00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:42,290 Sounds fair. 107 00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:45,150 Pretend I'm not here. I'm very busy. 108 00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:46,850 This is me being busy. 109 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:49,570 Gee, I ought to at least buy me dinner first. 110 00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,550 I'm looking for this stapler. I can't find it anywhere. 111 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,370 I stopped keeping it under Marianne's ass weeks ago. 112 00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,810 I'll keep looking. 113 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,850 Stapler, huh? It must have written at least two pages. 114 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,270 Hey, smell me. Hey, bite me. 115 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:12,980 Do you have a date tonight? 116 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,460 Oh, that's right. I do. 117 00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:23,000 I didn't know she was at the banging the pots around stage. 118 00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:24,740 They grow so fast. 119 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,640 Soon she'll be walking. 120 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,180 Excuse me. 121 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,560 Let me guess. You're having a problem with Sean. 122 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,420 No, I'm not having anything with Sean. Are you happy? 123 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:44,210 I'm proud you decided to stay celibate. A lot of kids your age couldn't. In 124 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:47,270 fact, when I was your age, nobody could, unless you were in the ROTC. 125 00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,390 Even the Summer of Love couldn't help those people. 126 00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:53,690 Mom? 127 00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,090 I know. Get lost. 128 00:07:56,690 --> 00:08:01,850 I have all these feelings for Tom, but I made this vow to myself, and I'm sure 129 00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:04,370 he wants to, and I just don't know what to do. 130 00:08:05,030 --> 00:08:07,010 You had a lot of reasons to make this vow. 131 00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:10,010 And one of the reasons could have been you just weren't ready. 132 00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:15,030 Mom, could we number these useless platitudes? That way next time you could 133 00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,130 go, Zoe, seven. 134 00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:23,410 I think those little, uh, things you light fire with. 135 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:24,770 Matches? 136 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,270 Boy, you are blocked. 137 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,510 They're in the living room. 138 00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:32,390 Hey, if you decide to set yourself on fire, don't stand near my new drapes! 139 00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:37,070 You know, Zoe? 140 00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:40,720 I was barely 20 when I married Dr. Dick. 141 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:43,340 Is this going to get personal? No, not at all. 142 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,540 We were both virgins. 143 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,620 I never told your mother that. 144 00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:52,740 I wanted her to respect me, so I always led her to believe I was a tramp. 145 00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:58,520 Well, Sean and I don't know... No, this is a story about me. 146 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,400 It was our wedding night. 147 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,440 Richard scattered rose petals all over our bed. 148 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:13,430 lovingly carried me through the threshold, and we tenderly experienced 149 00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:14,590 other for the very first time. 150 00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:20,110 Did I ever tell you I once superglued his penis to his thigh? 151 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:29,190 Okay, the matches go right above the statement. 152 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:30,930 Hello? Sean, hi. 153 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,350 Oh, good, I want to tell him the story, too. 154 00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:38,210 What's my curling iron doing down here? 155 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:40,190 I needed it like Lodge. 156 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:44,390 I couldn't get past my block, so I decided to strike out into a new 157 00:09:45,390 --> 00:09:46,950 Is that my TV remote? 158 00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:49,210 Maybe. 159 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,190 Ira, I'm worried about you. 160 00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:54,910 Relax. Write anything just to get the juices flowing. 161 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:58,950 Complain to the airlines. Remember how that used to soothe you? Okay, okay. 162 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:01,210 I've really got to get going. 163 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:03,470 Are you going to be okay? 164 00:10:04,030 --> 00:10:06,110 Yeah, Sib. Thanks a lot. I'll be fine. 165 00:10:10,119 --> 00:10:12,300 Here, Pacific Asia Airways. 166 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,820 I am writing to complain that I have no talent. 167 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:27,340 I enjoy working with you in class, Sybil. But I must say, it's even more 168 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,800 delightful spending time with you out in the real world. 169 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:33,980 Wow. Most men never use the word delightful unless they're talking about, 170 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:34,980 know, boxing. 171 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,340 If you don't mind my asking, why don't you act anymore? 172 00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:42,740 I realized I was born to teach. 173 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,980 Though I do still get offers. 174 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:46,820 I'm not surprised. 175 00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:49,200 I'm about to make you one myself. 176 00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:55,080 In fact, a friend of mine just asked if I'd be interested in dusting off my one 177 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:55,799 -man show. 178 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:56,840 You have a one -man show? 179 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,480 Is there a part in it for me? 180 00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:02,440 It's an evening of Shakespearean monologue. 181 00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:06,080 I do miss it. 182 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,940 Embracing every creative impulse. 183 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,320 Abandoning all inhibitions. 184 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,500 Surrendering to end things. 185 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:18,800 And finally, achieving the sublime golden moment when you and the audience 186 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,920 one. Oh, yes, Sybil, you're right. 187 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:25,140 When I get home, I'm going to pull out all my old notes and start right to 188 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,160 Yes, seize them all. 189 00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:42,870 The energy in the air before the curtain goes up on my performance? That's the 190 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:46,330 stage. In Sunset Boulevard, the pool was bigger than that. 191 00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:49,490 No, Marianne, it's a one -man show. 192 00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,230 Actual theater. 193 00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:55,450 There'll be no singers on roller skates, no helicopters landing, no dancing 194 00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:58,290 teapot. Oh, well, we'll do something fun afterwards. 195 00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:01,030 No, Trevor and I will do something fun afterwards. 196 00:12:01,330 --> 00:12:03,390 At least I vaguely remember it being fun. 197 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,830 Well, I'm going to do something better than sex. 198 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,280 Revenge. Dr. 199 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:12,840 Dick's latest affront. 200 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:18,820 In response to your prank, I hope you don't mind, I poisoned a bottle of your 201 00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:19,820 finest wine. 202 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:24,900 So good luck, you'll need it. It's my turn to gloat. I hope you die painfully, 203 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,360 you raspy old goat. 204 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:28,480 Raspy old goat? 205 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,440 A term of endearment he used to use. 206 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,600 I never thought he'd turn it against me. 207 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,500 Now you have to throw out your entire collection of wine. 208 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,440 Don't be absurd. It just means one day I'm going to drink that bottle and die. 209 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,380 a fully developed male mounts the frisky female. 210 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:45,800 Hey, kids. 211 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,140 Don't mind me. Just keep doing whatever you're doing. 212 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,980 I'm going to sit right over here and jumpstart my writing with a little 213 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:56,980 of consciousness here. 214 00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:02,710 I'm writing again. 215 00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:04,850 And the keys feel good. 216 00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:09,450 Zoe and Sean are here cheering me on. 217 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:12,810 Now they're standing. 218 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,890 Now they're leaving. 219 00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:17,310 We're going out for a cappuccino. 220 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,330 There they go. 221 00:15:20,270 --> 00:15:21,510 Now I'm all alone. 222 00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:22,970 No distraction. 223 00:15:56,970 --> 00:16:01,410 You know what they say. Those who can do. Those who can't are still a lot 224 00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:02,410 than this. 225 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:03,690 That's it, Queen. 226 00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:10,050 Isn't it 227 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:16,970 painful for him 228 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:18,170 to keep falling like that? 229 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:21,010 I sure hope so. It seems only fair. 230 00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:25,950 Absent thyself from felicity a while. 231 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,060 And draw thy breath. 232 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,080 In pain. 233 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,500 To tell my story. 234 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,840 I know it sounds shallow. 235 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,860 But I just don't think I could ever stoop such a locks. 236 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,040 Yeah, I guess. 237 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,560 Um, listen, Sean. 238 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:12,640 I've been thinking. 239 00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:16,660 You know my vow of chastity? 240 00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:18,900 Very well. 241 00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:23,119 And I want you to know that I respect it. 242 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:29,580 Yes, well... Don't. 243 00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:31,980 Don't? 244 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:35,360 Don't. 245 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,240 Zoe. Zoe. 246 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,520 What? 247 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,300 What? Don't you want to... Yeah, yes. 248 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:45,700 Yeah, of course. 249 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:50,600 Of course I do, but, um... I don't know. I kind of like celibacy. It's painful, 250 00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:51,780 but I like it. 251 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:53,640 Really? 252 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:55,560 No, not really. 253 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:02,700 Um, but, you know, this is going so well, I'd hate to ruin it by... by 254 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:03,700 any better. 255 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:06,880 Yeah, I feel the same way. 256 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,720 Really? 257 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:11,500 I thought you'd be disappointed in me. 258 00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:13,760 No, I'm relieved, actually. 259 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:15,980 Me too. 260 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:24,880 Simmo, my muse! 261 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,060 Are you as exhilarated as I am? 262 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:29,580 You bet. 263 00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:31,760 I got a big rush when it was over. 264 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,660 I want to know what you think. 265 00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:37,510 Don't hold back. Use as many superlatives as you see fit. 266 00:18:37,730 --> 00:18:41,210 Okay. I like the writing. 267 00:18:42,870 --> 00:18:44,830 And all the seats face the stage. 268 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,550 And they say you should eat five fruits a day, so from that standpoint, you 269 00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:51,190 should be feeling really good about yourself. 270 00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:54,470 You didn't like the show, did you? 271 00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:56,030 Well, no. 272 00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:58,690 Devastated. 273 00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:01,530 God, I could use some sex. 274 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:05,270 It's very obvious. 275 00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:08,610 You're not devastated at all, are you? 276 00:19:08,850 --> 00:19:11,630 Well, if there's one thing I've learned, it's never to listen to the critics. 277 00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:14,250 Of course, I have no qualms about sleeping with them. 278 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,290 Can we take two cars or one? I can't, Trevor. 279 00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:21,430 Why not? This was going to be our magical night. 280 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:28,770 Suppose there was an acting student who was attracted to her teacher because she 281 00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:31,930 thought he was incredibly talented, but then she found out she was wrong. 282 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,220 I was so horribly wrong. 283 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,080 Wait a minute. Are you saying that's what's happened here? 284 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:39,400 I'm afraid so. 285 00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,680 I thought I'd be left painful in the third person. 286 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:43,580 Goodbye, Trevor. 287 00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,840 Parting is such sweet sorrow. 288 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,820 Put a plum in it. 289 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,660 I can honestly say that was a truly bad night in the theater. 290 00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,240 I walked out feeling like Mary Todd Lincoln. 291 00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:05,190 But tonight no one got shot, unfortunately. 292 00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:07,710 Hello, ladies. Did you have fun tonight? 293 00:20:08,130 --> 00:20:10,170 You're looking better. Did you have a breakthrough? 294 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:13,970 You bet. I finally came up with an idea that makes sense. Would you excuse me a 295 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:16,170 moment? I hope it involves you writing at your house. 296 00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:19,750 As God is my witness, I will never write again! 297 00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:21,870 Die, you stinking bastard! 298 00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:23,190 I'm free! 299 00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:27,490 Yikes. 300 00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:32,130 You know, Carole King was right. At night the stars really do put on a show 301 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:33,960 free. Uh -huh, that's great, Ira. 302 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,080 Hey, I didn't hear you kids come in. 303 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,120 Thanks, Sean. 304 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,740 Tonight was, uh, really special. 305 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:51,220 Ah, boy, I'm famished. Anybody else hungry? 306 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:54,220 I could eat. 307 00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:59,320 Mary Ann, something happened here tonight. 308 00:21:00,060 --> 00:21:01,660 Something that didn't happen to you. 309 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,040 I'm worried I didn't prepare enough. 310 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,600 Well, except for the lectures, the books, and the puppet shows you left her 311 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:10,600 completely in the dark. 312 00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:14,720 I must have done something right. I didn't look that happy after my first 313 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,240 Of course, my mother walking in on us with warm cookies didn't help. 314 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,720 My first time was much less traumatic. You know, the usual high school football 315 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:23,820 game under the bleachers. 316 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,880 Happened so fast you didn't have time to put down a sousaphone. 317 00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:32,000 Hey, Zoe, let's talk. I'm here for you. 318 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,920 okay about doing this, considering, of course, that breaking and entering is a 319 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:48,920 felony. 320 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,180 Felony schmelony. 321 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:54,380 Yes. 322 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,800 Oh, dick, dick, dick. 323 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,860 Poisoning my wine and calling me an old goat. 324 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,760 Will he never learn? 325 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,420 Ready? Ready. 326 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,360 goat that's just eaten seven burritos and more bran flakes than the entire 327 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:21,840 of Boca Raton. 328 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,820 Marianne, remind me never to divorce you.