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My dearest ladies and my most kind
gentlemen Welcome

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to the fourth annual home and hearth
goldenrod award

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The

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home and hearth

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society is dedicated to the contentment
and satisfaction of man

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Enjoy the hollandaise sauce on the
asparagus.

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As you know, it takes a lot of planning
and a great deal of hard work to bring

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you such a gala event.

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And I can safely tell you that this year
will be the absolute best.

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I'm sure you all anxiously awaiting to
award to those members of our society.

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who have shown themselves to be of
outstanding merit, achievement, and

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So, without any further ado, I would
like to introduce to you our

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master of ceremonies, a person whom you
all know and love,

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as I do, and who, I might add, is one of
our best clients. Any tips where...

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Thank you.

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Thank you all, my fine friends.

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I want to tell you it is indeed an honor
to come here.

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It's nice to have you come, Jack.

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Quite frankly, it's no honor to me.

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Ladies and gentlemen, let's move on to
our awards.

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Our first presentation is the Society's
Achievement Award for the Most Promising

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Newcomer. Now, I want to tell you, this
year's selection wasn't easy.

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Well, we stayed up all night, night
after night, fingering the nominees.

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And the winner is...

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to be giving you this award.

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Now, our selection committee took some
candid shots of Lori and one of her

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clients.

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So this is why Lori was this year's
winner.

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Roll that projector.

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like nothing.

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You deserve an award, Queenie.

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You're fantastic, darling.

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Laurie, I'm proud to give you this
award.

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Congratulations.

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Thank you.

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This is truly the happiest moment of my
life.

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Well, this award doesn't belong

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For teaching me my moments.

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And I can't forget the hot sink laundry
for keeping my sheets and towels so

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white and fluffy.

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I'd like to move on to our next
wonderful, fantastic Goldenrod winner.

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Now, the nominees for Outstanding Value
and Artistic Merit are...

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Sally Camille...

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Next year, she'd be our winner. Yeah,
now with her, she won't. Well, now, come

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on, now, now, folks, folks.

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Let's see why Sally Camille is this
year's winner.

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Lights, projector.

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Oh, boy, I know this is going to do it.

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I heard she's better than me, my boy.

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She's a lovely lady. I feel like it's
one after the other.

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What do you mean, all three parts?

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She can pull all four.

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Move your imagination.

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Bring up the lights, please.

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It gives me great pleasure to give you
this award.

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for your outstanding value and your
artistic merit.

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The Cocksucker of the Year Award!

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I want you all to know that I deserve
this award because I'm very good at what

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do.

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And I have nobody to thank but myself.

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And I want you all to know that I think
it's wonderful that we're finally

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getting, as cocksuckers, the recognition
that we deserve as the true artists

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that we really are.

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Each year,

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We have a special award for outstanding
courage and devotion to duty.

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Now, some of us can do more than the
others.

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This year's winner can do more than all
of us.

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Gerda Cavalli!

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Now, when you see this film, you're
going to realize why Gerdes Savalas won

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award.

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Lights, roll the projector.

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You deserve this award.

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Oh, thank you all very much.

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I'd like you all to know that what I do,
I do because I like to do it. And if

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you like to do it, then we should do it.

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for all our winners.

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Now, everyone, with your permission,
we'll move on to the, uh, how should I

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the meat of the matter.

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The big part is just gonna come up.

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Now, I'd like to bring back our
president so that she can put a little

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the matter.

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Janie?

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Every year at this time, we pick the
most important of all our winners.

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This important award is the Goldenrod
mascot.

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This is our society's highest award, and
certainly its most demanding.

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Tonight... We have two very beautiful
young men competing for this year's

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They've been picked by our selection
committee from over 2 ,000 applicants.

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John and Rick, stand up, please.

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Last year, young Harry Williams, 22
years old and

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beautiful,

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won the award.

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I want you all to know that Harry had an
encounter five times a day with our

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members without one day off for the past
12 months.

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I would like to take this opportunity to
pay tribute to Harry Williams, who has

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given us all so much pleasure during the
past year.

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Harry.

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00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:51,340
Harry.

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Harry.

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Thank you.

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we are a service organization dedicated
to the satisfaction of man, I ask

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you, where is the female satisfaction?

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We need sexual satisfaction.

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Money isn't everything.

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And although there is a certain amount
of pleasure to be derived from making

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others happy, Who makes us sexually
happy?

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Who makes Terry happy?

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Gerta and Sally and Laurie, who makes
you sexually happy?

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I do.

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You!

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And you, and you, and heck, what about
me?

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Heck, I haven't since... Thank you,
Harry.

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We need good lovers.

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And so, the Goldenrod Mascot Award.

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John, Rick, come on up here.

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Well, as you know, the rule's very
simple.

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You two will both be given sealed
envelopes.

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In the envelopes, you will find the
address of your newest encounter.

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Now, at this encounter, you will be
asked to do crazy or kinky demands upon

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and you must fulfill them.

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Now, at this encounter, you will also be
given another sealed envelope, inside

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of which has the address... of your next
encounter and so on and so on through

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the night.

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The first one back will be the winner.

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Agreed? Agreed. Fair enough.

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The envelope, please.

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John,

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this is for you.

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Smells good, John.

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And it's not bad either. There you go,
pal. Good luck to you. And both of you

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have a... Pleasant evening.

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All

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right,

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now, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and
gentlemen, just relax now. The fun has

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just begun.

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My dear.

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Now,

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ladies and gentlemen, I'd just like to
say this is going to be a very, very

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interesting evening.

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The traffic's not deserving of light.

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He's watching in his box.

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Come on in, baby.

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Most honored traveler, please come in
and partake of my most wonderful

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Please,

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it is most honorable custom to remove
shoes before entering.

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Anything else?

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No, that's fine.

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No, thank you. And since time is of the
essence, what do you wish me to do?

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To please me.

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That

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was

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close.

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I've come three times already.

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You've got to make me come three times
more.

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I will make you very happy.

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I am very proud of you.

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Why?

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Come on.

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Come on.

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Mmm.

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Okay. Please, sir, no move. Blue saying
no move.

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Oh. Oh.

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You have made me very happy. Thank you
for the honor.

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You've made me very happy.

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But I've got to get out of here. I've
got to get over to the next one, okay?

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What do you want with my mother?

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Come on. We're going to have a lot of
fun.

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I bet you've got a big guy.

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We're going to play a lot of games.
We're going to play hide and seek and

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and hug, and you have to do whatever I
say.

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Yeah, I know.

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Hey, darling.

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You're the one.

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I want you.

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You're gonna want me, too.

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What are you waiting for? Come on.

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Reminds me of myself when I was just a
young lass.

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No, I will not suck your sucker.

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Then you lose the contest.

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Well, I don't care.

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Well...

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Then

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kiss my butt. Here.

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Now the other.

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Okay, okay.

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Now kiss my leg.

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Right here.

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Okay, now, now fix my thing.

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Oh, no, not like that.

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Oh, all right.

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But I get to play with your dolly now.

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Ouch! Hey, don't do that. That hurts.

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I won't hurt you.

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Give me a kiss on the lips.

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Be careful.

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You're as sweet as mom's apple pie,

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sweetheart.

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It is a pretty dolly.

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It

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is

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big.

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think you can be our mascot?

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What do you know about sex?

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What do you know about women? All you
know is your filthy cock.

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Oh, you worthless fool.

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00:43:12,850 --> 00:43:14,530
I'm going to teach you something.

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00:43:16,230 --> 00:43:20,210
You filthy man -pig.

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00:43:20,910 --> 00:43:23,430
Now you're going to learn to do a few
things for me.

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00:43:23,650 --> 00:43:24,650
Suck my breast.

209
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:44,600
Do it faster.

210
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:47,400
Do it harder. Don't you know how to do
this?

211
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:49,660
Do it faster.

212
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,320
Oh, God.

213
00:43:51,940 --> 00:43:53,340
Don't you know how to do anything?

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00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,640
Here, kiss my foot.

215
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:57,160
Come on.

216
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,980
That's not right. Kiss the right. Don't
you know how to do anything?

217
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,140
What kind of a mascot are you? Lick it.

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00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:06,640
Come on, lick it.

219
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:08,700
That's not right. Lick it.

220
00:44:09,100 --> 00:44:10,940
A nice, big lick.

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Do you want it?

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00:44:30,630 --> 00:44:31,710
Do you want it?

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Well, let's hear it. Say it, stupid.

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00:44:35,490 --> 00:44:36,490
Yes.

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00:44:36,650 --> 00:44:37,710
Say it louder.

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00:44:38,530 --> 00:44:39,530
Yes.

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00:44:39,850 --> 00:44:41,270
Louder. Yes.

228
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,840
All right, then. Do it, Dennis.

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00:45:27,210 --> 00:45:28,670
What would you have there anyway?

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00:45:29,990 --> 00:45:31,830
Oh, that's disgusting.

231
00:45:32,190 --> 00:45:33,190
Get a card.

232
00:45:33,570 --> 00:45:34,610
Oh, my God.

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00:47:01,930 --> 00:47:02,930
I just feel...

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I don't know what the hell's going on.

235
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:56,880
Oh, God.

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Oh,

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God.

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00:51:27,790 --> 00:51:29,430
I've got a surprise for you.

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00:51:29,690 --> 00:51:30,690
What?

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00:51:31,530 --> 00:51:32,910
Your next envelope.

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00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:13,660
That wasn't bad.

242
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:15,520
Want to do it again?

243
00:56:12,430 --> 00:56:14,150
You're fogging up my glasses.

244
00:56:14,990 --> 00:56:19,310
Would someone please switch the monitor,
please? I will.

245
00:56:22,910 --> 00:56:23,910
Wow.

246
00:56:25,790 --> 00:56:27,470
Oh, my, my, my.

247
00:56:27,830 --> 00:56:30,450
What have they done to you, you poor
thing?

248
00:56:31,310 --> 00:56:33,090
Oh, you're a mess.

249
00:56:33,910 --> 00:56:39,650
You know, I've always wanted to meet a
beautiful, young,

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gorgeous,

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00:56:42,860 --> 00:56:43,860
Fantastic.

252
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,120
Little chicky like you.

253
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:48,300
Oh, you're beautiful.

254
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,180
Let me help you up.

255
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:03,080
Come on. I know just what you need.
First a drink,

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and then some wonderful lovemaking.

257
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,040
Oh, you know...

258
00:57:10,670 --> 00:57:12,950
I just can't believe that this is
happening to me.

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00:57:14,410 --> 00:57:21,270
I mean, you're so beautiful, but as
tired as I am, I think I could make

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00:57:21,270 --> 00:57:23,950
love to you all night long.

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00:57:28,650 --> 00:57:30,030
I hope so.

262
00:57:30,490 --> 00:57:32,150
I certainly hope so.

263
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:38,160
Take it off.

264
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:18,200
I'm yours.

265
00:59:20,260 --> 00:59:21,820
Hi. Me too.

266
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:23,760
Oh.

267
00:59:36,540 --> 00:59:40,920
You think he's pretty good, don't you?
See me when I'm cooked.

268
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,940
You just sit there and watch for a
while, Johnny.

269
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:47,280
If you insist.

270
00:59:48,020 --> 00:59:49,160
But not for long.

271
00:59:49,580 --> 00:59:51,680
Because you get both of it back in a
while.

272
01:00:16,330 --> 01:00:17,870
Where in the world did you find your
friend?

273
01:00:18,130 --> 01:00:19,130
Not my friend.

274
01:00:19,150 --> 01:00:23,890
Listen, I... Miss Marty and I used to be
in the insurance before. I've been

275
01:00:23,890 --> 01:00:26,050
handling you girls. I'm seeing what
you're in now.

276
01:00:26,470 --> 01:00:30,970
Yeah, I'm into it all the time. Wait a
minute. You know, it would be all right

277
01:00:30,970 --> 01:00:33,250
if... Hey, what did you lay on? The
glass.

278
01:00:33,650 --> 01:00:36,130
So, do you think he's... God.

279
01:00:36,530 --> 01:00:40,010
We could really... The roof's cut out.

280
01:00:41,410 --> 01:00:42,530
Wasn't something I said?

281
01:02:19,270 --> 01:02:20,670
I want you.

282
01:02:21,230 --> 01:02:23,390
I want you forever.

283
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:22,160
Stay with me.

284
01:06:07,210 --> 01:06:09,570
Let's have some of your big giant cod.

285
01:06:10,790 --> 01:06:11,790
Okay.

286
01:06:13,670 --> 01:06:20,230
Okay, giant.

287
01:06:20,670 --> 01:06:21,670
Giant.

288
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:28,560
Oh, shit.

289
01:08:17,819 --> 01:08:18,840
Boop boop boop

290
01:09:06,729 --> 01:09:07,729
Hmm.

291
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:18,020
Oh, yeah.

292
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:57,200
You're an angel.

293
01:11:57,440 --> 01:11:59,960
I love you. I love you, too.

294
01:12:03,180 --> 01:12:04,460
You're so beautiful.

295
01:12:32,910 --> 01:12:33,910
What are you doing?

296
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:11,440
What's the matter?

297
01:17:12,460 --> 01:17:15,880
Don't you want me to stay or at least
come back after the awards?

298
01:17:16,380 --> 01:17:17,380
Look at Rick.

299
01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:18,780
You're really a nice guy.

300
01:17:19,100 --> 01:17:20,140
I'm very busy.

301
01:17:20,780 --> 01:17:22,120
Don't worry, I'll see you again.

302
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:25,920
But what about all those things you told
me?

303
01:17:26,140 --> 01:17:27,860
About love and... Oh, that.

304
01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:29,680
That was just part of the test.

305
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:33,340
See you again sometime.

306
01:19:13,710 --> 01:19:14,710
Ladies and gentlemen,

307
01:19:15,410 --> 01:19:19,670
please, they will be here in a moment.

308
01:19:19,910 --> 01:19:25,850
We must collect our decorum and meet
them with

309
01:19:25,850 --> 01:19:26,970
dignity.

