1 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:24,770 Hey girl, want some brown liquor? 2 00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:26,710 Brown liquor don't make this pussy bad. 3 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:28,510 Tequila it is. 4 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,210 Neither? 5 00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:31,570 No. 6 00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:35,190 Viva la revolution! 7 00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:38,310 Now that shit right there make your pussy pop on your head. 8 00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:40,710 So what are you doing here anyway? 9 00:01:41,090 --> 00:01:42,290 What do you think I'm doing here? 10 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,630 I'm starting an opening thing. 11 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:46,170 Been there, done that. 12 00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,410 Pick up the phone! 13 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:49,670 Pick up the phone! 14 00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:51,050 Richie? Tiana. 15 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:54,890 Hey. I thought it'd be easier for the audience if we didn't have to be more 16 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:57,590 tense. Yeah, that makes sense. Because you know these motherfuckers can't read. 17 00:01:58,330 --> 00:01:59,229 I know. 18 00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:00,710 Who goes to see a way as flexible? 19 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,490 Well, it's nice to... 20 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,910 Phone me, you, in a super awkward way. 21 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:08,910 Likewise. But I've got to be honest. When I seen your profile, I made a bitch 22 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,009 almost swipe left because you was mad goofy. 23 00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:14,470 But surprisingly, you know, goofy niggas got really good. 24 00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:15,850 So, here we are. 25 00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:17,350 I'll take you for a Jersey girl. 26 00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:18,610 A Jersey girl? 27 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:20,570 Listen, I love Jersey, yeah. 28 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:23,390 But I'm a Harlem girl. Born and motherfucking raised. 29 00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:25,070 Real niggas only. Yeah. 30 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,890 Oh, so you're black. 31 00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:29,950 No, motherfucker. 32 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:31,410 I'm black. 33 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,320 All cats. 34 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:34,740 No cat. 35 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:35,900 The cat. 36 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,460 Fuck all y 'all. 37 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,820 Bitch, spit them pearls back out. 38 00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,180 Like, what's your shit? 39 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,260 Hello? So tell me, what's your favorite scary movie? 40 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,860 I don't really do them. You know, all the stupid tropes and shit. Why is it 41 00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:55,900 always the white bitch at the end? Because they know it's too hard to kill 42 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,880 sister. You know what I'm saying? Because if the sister can survive 43 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,560 cheese, we can survive anything. 44 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,020 You know, it might help if you met me outside. 45 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,620 Met you outside? Boy, you're this needy. 46 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,300 What's your sign? It must be a Scorpio. 47 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:10,580 How'd you know? 48 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,680 Good dick, though. But toxic as hell. 49 00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:14,460 Hey, you can go press front here now. 50 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,520 Yeah, sure. You can play the role of your life. 51 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,160 What was it? That? Not today. 52 00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:20,620 Shit. Bitch. Virgil. 53 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,020 Okay, I'm coming down the alley now. 54 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,580 I'm here. Can you see me? I'm waving. 55 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:27,520 No. 56 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,780 The person I'm looking at's not waving. 57 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,740 I thought they were just staring at us. Well, stare at his ass back! 58 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,840 And don't blink. Never blink. You got to brush your lips before you blink. What? 59 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,660 Oh, they're walking towards me now. 60 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,740 Oh my, oh my god, they have a knife. 61 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,560 Why don't they eat his ass over here? 62 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,440 I thought that was the worst part. 63 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:52,540 The worst part is, you know so much about horror movies, and yet you still 64 00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:53,940 into the alley alone. 65 00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:58,960 Yeah, but the worst part is, you're fucking with a New York bitch. 66 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,500 Keep on some Avenger shit. 67 00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:32,860 Seriously, 68 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:36,680 Len? I didn't recognize your bird call. I thought you was an old warlord. 69 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,620 That's a pigeon, nigga. 70 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:44,740 It's supposed to be... Not bad. 71 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,200 Are you done? 72 00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,260 Bitch, 73 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,200 I'm Tiana Taylor. 74 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,300 My abs got abs. 75 00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:22,559 Hey, Tiana. 76 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,540 You might have kicked my ass, but you still didn't win that Oscar. 77 00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:28,760 What'd you say about my Oscar? 78 00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,380 Denied. Dutter. 79 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:31,640 You lost. 80 00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:33,100 You're right. 81 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,000 Not when I go to glow, bitch. 82 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,380 My God, really? 83 00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:40,580 That's why I never watched horror movies. It's fucking terrible. 84 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,660 Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags. 85 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,800 I'm more into Judd Apatow films. 86 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,020 You know, elevated comedy. 87 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,980 And what is elevated comedy? 88 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,180 The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh, but makes white people 89 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,180 smart. 90 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,280 Tuesday, don't answer that. It could be ghosting. 91 00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:04,280 Oh, come on, Elle. 92 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,360 Stuff like that only happens in the movies. 93 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,640 Oh, hey. 94 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,020 I wasn't expecting you to answer the door. 95 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,360 What the fuck? 96 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:20,240 Now, here's my life. This is Hello Tuesday. 97 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,480 What'd you take? 98 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,120 Just Ritalin for my ADHD. 99 00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:54,120 Adderall for PTSD. 100 00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,060 A couple of Bannocks for my anxiety. 101 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:57,920 Antibiotic pills. 102 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:00,120 So good luck getting it up there. 103 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,620 Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take? 104 00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,720 I don't know how many come in a bottle. 105 00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:09,620 Hey, Jess. 106 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,620 Sarah, two days in the hospital. 107 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,840 She was stabbed by a killer. You know, ghostface. 108 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,460 Wait, from routine? 109 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:21,150 A lot of Ghostface Killa, aka Pretty Tony, aka Starkey Love, will stab my 110 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:25,230 sister. Cut. Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface Killa. It was somebody in a Ghostface 111 00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:26,230 mask. Oh. 112 00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,470 Okay, that makes more sense. 113 00:07:33,490 --> 00:07:35,710 I ate the wand! 114 00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:38,350 Ah! 115 00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:39,770 Jesus, Jack! 116 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,870 What? I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween. 117 00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:44,350 My strange weapon! 118 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,360 Gotta go see her. 119 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,220 Can't make up for the past. 120 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,900 Hey, hey, hey. 121 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,480 I'm going with you. 122 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,960 Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure you back here from town. 123 00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,620 I'm just a supportive boyfriend. 124 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,160 What? That's all. 125 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,460 Okay, let's go. Get in the car. 126 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,480 Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way. 127 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,400 I survived. 128 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,260 All thanks to my lucky penny. 129 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:49,220 It's embarrassing, especially for black women. It's not embarrassing. I'm the 130 00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:50,220 cool... 131 00:08:51,810 --> 00:08:55,330 Don't forget, I got practice later, so I'll be home late. You only made the 132 00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:58,350 because you're black, and those racist fucks assumed you could play. 133 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,030 It's 2026. I don't think race is an issue. 134 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,510 Do you read black Twitter? 135 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:08,050 No. Oh, Ray, are you still dating that hoe? 136 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:13,170 Okay, stop hoe -shaming her. Just because Daryl and them ride a train on 137 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,210 doesn't make her a hoe. 138 00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:15,490 She's not a hoe. 139 00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,010 She's sex positive. 140 00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:19,230 Well, I'm positive she's a hoe. 141 00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:25,550 you to see it. Bloody schoolgirl! 142 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:26,669 Howdy ho! 143 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:27,670 Hi, Miss Min. 144 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:29,890 Love the hair. 145 00:09:30,390 --> 00:09:34,570 Same. I'll take it from her. Well, thank you very much. I thought I'd invite you 146 00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,210 over and make you a little shit pot. 147 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:40,510 Ooh. You know what? I gotta get to African American history class. 148 00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:41,910 We're learning about slavery. 149 00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,310 I'm trying to find out. It was a choice. You see that right there? 150 00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:47,389 That's Kanye. 151 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:50,130 That's right. They've been teaching us wrong all this time. 152 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:51,570 Mm -hmm. Best luck. 153 00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:53,590 Bye -bye. 154 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,440 I'm speaking fast. Don't not put some condoms in your bag. You know, I ain't 155 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,440 trying to trap y 'all. 156 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,260 Okay, seriously? 157 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,100 Sure, Greg. You don't have to walk me to class. I'm fine. 158 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,560 Jess, there's a serial killer on the loose. 159 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,500 I'm not going to let anything happen to my baby girl. 160 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,360 Boy, okay? I'm a baby boy. I'm sorry. 161 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,000 I'm having a hard time with this transition. 162 00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:19,340 Okay, it's really simple. 163 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,160 Treat me like one of the guys. 164 00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:22,860 Okay? 165 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,080 I can do that? Yeah. 166 00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:26,959 Slap fight? 167 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,920 Oh, you call that a slap? 168 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,140 Who the hell did you do that for? 169 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,040 I look like such a bitch. 170 00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:38,260 Bitch. 171 00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,020 Not bad. 172 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:07,280 Oh, my God, Mother. You look like shit. 173 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:11,560 Hey, please. This is clearly a woman who's run out of condition. Oh, be 174 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,780 where you walk. The whole place is fully trapped. 175 00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:16,260 You never know when that cycle's gonna come back. 176 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,660 Come here. 177 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,480 Okay. 178 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:30,560 I hate this job. 179 00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:37,120 Mrs. Campbell, I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend. 180 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,600 I've heard so much about you. 181 00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:40,980 None of it good. 182 00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:46,780 I have heard nothing about you, Jack. I assume you're a piece of shit. But how 183 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:51,600 would I know when I haven't heard from my daughter in, what, six months? Six 184 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:56,280 years, Mother. And whose fault is that? And whose fault is that? I don't know. 185 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,300 Maybe it's yours. 186 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,280 That's fair. 187 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,320 We want to learn from the horror you survived. 188 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:07,780 Look, scary movie three and four paid me a lot of money for a girl. There is 189 00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,000 nothing to learn there. 190 00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:11,960 But if you want to talk about the house, buddy, shoot. 191 00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:13,180 It's happening again. 192 00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:17,400 Some asshole in a mask. We have to stop him. 193 00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:19,440 You're not ready, lovebug. 194 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,600 I have been preparing for this for years. 195 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,660 Sacrificed everything. 196 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,240 You are a terrible mother. 197 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:27,620 Come on, honey. 198 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,460 We had some good times. 199 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,660 Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at the mall? 200 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:42,760 Your turn, Sarah. 201 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:46,100 Move. Hi, Santa. 202 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,980 Sorry if I don't fit in your bag. 203 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,640 You creep me out. 204 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:31,150 our emotional wounds and put the past behind us? 205 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:32,890 God, no. 206 00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:35,250 No, to kill ghost faith. 207 00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:36,790 Do you have any guns? 208 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,830 I am Cindy fucking Campbell. 209 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:46,830 I've got millions of guns, but none of them are registered due to my mental 210 00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:47,830 health issues. 211 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:50,870 So if you could just keep that on the low. 212 00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,050 Okay. 213 00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:07,770 Okay, so I spoke to Sarah earlier. 214 00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:09,069 Oh, is she coming? 215 00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:09,989 You know what I did? 216 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:10,990 Hear a buzzing sound. 217 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,350 So it's possible. 218 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:14,550 No, I meant to Woodsville, not Manhattan. 219 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:15,830 Oh, I forgot that. 220 00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:16,949 Hey, Jimbo! 221 00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:17,950 Go deep! 222 00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:20,030 Oh! 223 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:21,710 Sweet! 224 00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:25,990 Speaking of going deep... Uh, I don't know if it's a good time. 225 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:29,250 Everyone knows what happens to teenagers who try to make love when there's a 226 00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:30,109 killer in the loose. 227 00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,630 Brad's right about one thing, guys. Hey, Ghostface is back. 228 00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:33,910 We need to arm up. 229 00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,229 Pepper spray? 230 00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:36,230 Check. 231 00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:38,390 Taser? Check. 232 00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:39,990 Butt plug? 233 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:41,270 Double check. 234 00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:44,930 Goddamn! You just carry that thing around? 235 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:46,290 It's easy to hide. 236 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,690 In your butt? 237 00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:53,530 I'm impressed. 238 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:06,900 I'm back! 239 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,680 Man, what's up, huh? Huh? 240 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:17,400 I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using terms like onk and auntie, 241 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:22,200 gaslighting and glazing and glamping, trying to make my generation sound old. 242 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,040 ain't your damn onk, nigga! Shorty, you're a mother's brother, so yeah, 243 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,440 technically you are our onk. 244 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,440 Oh, my bad. 245 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,940 It's crazy that they let you teach here. 246 00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,240 Teach? No, I didn't. 247 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:37,129 I attend. 248 00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,810 You're looking at a proud 25th year senior. 249 00:15:40,630 --> 00:15:42,190 When are you finally going to graduate? 250 00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:45,230 By the time we do a sequel and I'm going to follow you little young niggas to 251 00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:46,230 college to get my check. 252 00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:50,130 Wait, guys, Tuesday's a wait. All right, Tuesday. Who the fuck is Tuesday? 253 00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,910 We got to go to the hospital. You going to take the bus home? 254 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:54,270 Nah, the PJ. 255 00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:55,990 Private jet? 256 00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:57,350 Yeah, jealous. 257 00:15:57,510 --> 00:16:01,250 Man, you know, we did all day. Just played video games, live stream. 258 00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,130 You literally got money doing nothing. 259 00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:06,350 Exactly. I leave the hard work for the old head. 260 00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,210 Jesus! 261 00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:13,230 The other fan short. Check my crypto. 262 00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,170 Oh, shit, I'm up $3 million. 263 00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,150 Damn, now I'm down $5 million. 264 00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:21,350 This shit is crazy, son. 265 00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,490 Sister Brenda, it's okay. 266 00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:01,150 You heard the call of sin. Yes, you did. 267 00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,910 But the Lord has called on us to show men such like you the way. 268 00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:06,369 Come on, son. 269 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:07,670 Come with us. 270 00:17:08,450 --> 00:17:09,450 Come on us. 271 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:12,430 God seek your coming. So don't cheat that time. 272 00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:16,329 We need you to come like you never came before. 273 00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:18,510 Come for the Father. Come for the Son. 274 00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:21,010 I'm going to hold your hand and we're going to come together. 275 00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:24,650 Amen. 276 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,500 In the name of God! 277 00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:32,220 Let it go, Ray! Let it go! 278 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,460 Oh, my bad. 279 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,340 Last time. 280 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,600 Let's welcome a new member to our congregation. 281 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,040 I'm 282 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:52,900 not 283 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:54,140 gay no more. 284 00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:15,910 and perky areolas. I'm no longer carrier. 285 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,320 cheaper. I thought that was my anniversary, right? 286 00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:47,340 Oh, this naked got a lot in my house. 287 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:51,900 I no longer stand butt naked in the mirror with my penis tucked between my 288 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:56,180 Dancing like a dude from Silence of the Lambs. It puts collusion in the basket, 289 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,220 precious. I'm a changed man. I've been delivered. 290 00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:01,040 I will. 291 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,460 I said I will. 292 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,800 I will. 293 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,120 No. I'm a woman. Huh? 294 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,760 Woman. Woman. Woman. Woman. 295 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:11,020 Woman. Woman. 296 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,180 Woman. 297 00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:31,060 Whoa. Fuck. 298 00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:32,700 Fuck. 299 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,660 I'm trying to get that out for an hour. 300 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,640 What are you feeling, too? 301 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,140 I'm probably giving you the pain. 302 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,900 Is that more pain or... Oh, yeah. 303 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:42,200 Oh, it's that good, good... It's that Britney Spears shit. Mixing on a get 304 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,380 -of -the -naked -dance -around -and -juggle -some -night. 305 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,460 It's that Jeffrey Dahmer look -alike. 306 00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:50,480 This is my boyfriend, Jack. 307 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,980 Really nice to meet you. 308 00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,600 Looks like Ted Bundy to me. 309 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,900 But that ain't none of my business. 310 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,600 This little stabbed up bitch here needs some rest. 311 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,660 So y 'all, get the fuck out! 312 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:04,880 Yes, ma 'am. 313 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:07,760 Oh, not you, Sarah. 314 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,420 Why? What did I do? 315 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:11,980 I'm so scared. 316 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,700 Oh, Tews. 317 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,060 You should be. 318 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,260 You've been stabbed nine times. 319 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,520 Or the killer knows where you live. 320 00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:25,980 I would invite you to come stay at my place, but I don't really want that kind 321 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,120 of juju in my house. 322 00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:30,540 For all we know, he's standing right outside that door. 323 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,160 Comforting, Sarah. 324 00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:40,120 I thought I was going to die. 325 00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:47,470 The hell? And I wrote your obituary. 326 00:21:47,910 --> 00:21:50,410 More like Chapter T wrote it. But you're still here. 327 00:21:50,870 --> 00:21:53,230 And I will never let anyone hurt you. 328 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:42,060 Shit, baby, that's my show. Drugs and that interest. I will make this Gucci 329 00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,060 I pop, pop, pop. 330 00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:50,140 Dear Lord, please accept this white bitch. Oh, the Lord works in 331 00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,140 mysterious ways. 332 00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:52,980 I'm going to break. 333 00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:54,660 Oh, truth. 334 00:22:54,980 --> 00:22:58,260 I will never let anyone hurt you again. 335 00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:18,950 Hello? Hello, Sarah. 336 00:23:19,930 --> 00:23:21,030 Who is this? 337 00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:24,410 Someone who knows your little secret. 338 00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:27,950 No, no, no. I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute. 339 00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:31,570 Okay? I won prom queen and I was throwing my heart to the crowd. 340 00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:32,870 No. 341 00:23:32,950 --> 00:23:36,170 I'm talking about your family secret. 342 00:23:37,470 --> 00:23:40,350 Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister. 343 00:23:41,030 --> 00:23:43,350 Well, I had to get you to come back here. 344 00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:45,870 Listen, if you want to fuck with me, asshole, 345 00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:49,070 We bless you! 346 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:44,560 You're welcome. 347 00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:49,860 It really looks like you got hit with something hard. 348 00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:52,440 Like metal. I told you, I fell. 349 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,520 Now where exactly are we going? 350 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,040 To talk to an expert. 351 00:25:16,730 --> 00:25:17,730 No, 352 00:25:37,490 --> 00:25:39,710 no. I'll give you eight minutes. 353 00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:42,030 And another thing. 354 00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:45,050 Oh, I didn't tell you to go. 355 00:25:46,490 --> 00:25:50,730 Now you guys are good. 356 00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:54,930 When did the work week become the woke week? We've got Black Friday. What's 357 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:55,930 next? Mulatto Monday? 358 00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:57,670 I mean, Yellow Thursday? 359 00:25:59,870 --> 00:26:04,530 Let me get this out of the way. 360 00:26:07,250 --> 00:26:11,530 Yep, you're good. 361 00:26:13,770 --> 00:26:15,350 You're Cindy's daughter, right? 362 00:26:15,590 --> 00:26:17,730 Yeah. Yeah. I don't know him. 363 00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:20,130 Oh, this is Jack, my love interest. 364 00:26:20,550 --> 00:26:22,030 No, no, no, no. 365 00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:27,510 Rule number one of surviving a horror movie is never trust the love interest. 366 00:26:27,850 --> 00:26:28,850 Look at him. 367 00:26:29,430 --> 00:26:35,350 He's got that weird lazy eye poking one way and he's drooling like a psychopath. 368 00:26:35,890 --> 00:26:37,410 He's got that stump leg. 369 00:26:37,810 --> 00:26:43,150 Makes the wall walk weird and creepy. I don't have a stump leg. I guess he does. 370 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:44,690 Oh. 371 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:45,730 I'm looking at me. 372 00:26:46,830 --> 00:26:48,310 Just watching Doofy. 373 00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:49,690 Be tired. 374 00:26:50,290 --> 00:26:52,450 Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help. 375 00:26:53,010 --> 00:26:55,370 No. I can't go back to that life. 376 00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:57,950 Plus, we're in the middle of a global pandemic. 377 00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:01,730 Okay, I hate to break it to you, but COVID has been over for, like, years. 378 00:27:02,730 --> 00:27:03,730 Really? 379 00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,190 Yeah. 380 00:27:07,750 --> 00:27:08,750 Damn it! 381 00:27:09,470 --> 00:27:11,550 What am I going to do with all this damn meat? 382 00:27:14,830 --> 00:27:16,330 I don't want to go to sleep tonight. 383 00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:17,710 Hey, don't come down. 384 00:27:41,180 --> 00:27:44,980 Okay, just because he showered doesn't mean that... Yeah, I didn't shower. I 385 00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,820 just take water from my mouth. 386 00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:48,259 You want some? 387 00:27:48,260 --> 00:27:49,260 No, that's okay. 388 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:54,380 Okay. Come on, do you see? Yeah, do it. Sarah, is your BMOX mom coming? Or can 389 00:27:54,380 --> 00:27:55,520 we stop talking about this plot? 390 00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,100 Uh... Hi. 391 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:01,880 You came. 392 00:28:01,940 --> 00:28:06,860 Not in like 15 years, honey. But I did buy this new rose. 393 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,200 Fingers crossed. 394 00:28:23,210 --> 00:28:24,330 I'm writing back to you. 395 00:28:24,730 --> 00:28:26,610 Sweet! What's up, Sandy? 396 00:28:26,990 --> 00:28:28,750 How you doing, my nigga? 397 00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,110 Oh, shit, son! 398 00:28:31,570 --> 00:28:34,550 I can't believe you thought I was dead. 399 00:28:34,910 --> 00:28:39,330 Well, between cancer, from the weed, smoke, your love of the McRib, and 400 00:28:39,330 --> 00:28:41,710 cops, I didn't think you had a chance. 401 00:28:41,990 --> 00:28:42,990 Yeah, that's a tale coming. 402 00:28:44,150 --> 00:28:45,250 Hi, Sandy. 403 00:28:45,530 --> 00:28:46,930 Stop smiling at me! 404 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,720 Don't call that white bitch a honky. Come on, have some respect. 405 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,420 I keep seeing people smiling everywhere. 406 00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:08,580 I'm not very likable, so it must be some kind of curse. 407 00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:10,060 Hey, reality. 408 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,520 Look what I got. 409 00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:16,960 Non -branded jealousy shots made with brain alcohol and GHB. So ain't nobody 410 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,100 sipping that main consent to life. Long time. I apologize. 411 00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:21,980 Take one. I love roofing myself. 412 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,500 No. You sure, baby? 413 00:29:24,700 --> 00:29:25,459 Hi, Brenda. 414 00:29:25,460 --> 00:29:27,920 Please do not call me by my government bank. 415 00:29:55,850 --> 00:29:57,690 Barry killed Ghost Fish, and he never returned. 416 00:29:58,390 --> 00:29:59,390 What about you? 417 00:29:59,650 --> 00:30:02,810 Well, I've been mostly just getting half -cooled kids drunk in a desperate 418 00:30:02,810 --> 00:30:06,230 attempt to stay young and keep my kids at home. I always knew you'd be a great 419 00:30:06,230 --> 00:30:07,550 mom. Oh, Cindy. 420 00:30:08,170 --> 00:30:09,169 Should we hug? 421 00:30:09,170 --> 00:30:12,950 Oh, I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed to be 422 00:30:13,190 --> 00:30:16,550 Oh, girl, I think all white people are racist anyway. Come here, okay? 423 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,190 Oh. 424 00:30:19,390 --> 00:30:20,389 Do you want to be sugar? 425 00:30:20,390 --> 00:30:24,510 Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, Mom, this place could be so cool. 426 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,740 If you had, like, a beer pong table over there, maybe, like, a snack wall. 427 00:30:29,020 --> 00:30:31,760 What do you know about cool? When I was your age, I was popping bottles with 428 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,600 Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, all the genres. 429 00:30:36,900 --> 00:30:39,940 That ain't as well. Your mama was the freak in the free calls. 430 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,020 You want to see something cool? 431 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:44,700 I'm going to show you something cool. 432 00:31:40,490 --> 00:31:41,490 Let's get back to the plot. 433 00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:43,470 I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy eyes. 434 00:31:43,710 --> 00:31:46,690 Looking like a school shooter. I think you the killer. Oh, me? 435 00:31:46,890 --> 00:31:49,110 Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over there? 436 00:31:49,310 --> 00:31:50,410 I don't have a motive. 437 00:31:50,690 --> 00:31:51,690 Yeah, what's my motive? 438 00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:53,750 You were the killer in the first movie. 439 00:31:54,430 --> 00:31:59,110 Shouldn't you be locked up? No, I got pardoned. Mostly because of the storming 440 00:31:59,110 --> 00:32:00,170 the Capitol, you know. 441 00:32:00,410 --> 00:32:01,410 Oh. I got proof. 442 00:32:02,010 --> 00:32:02,989 It's me. 443 00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:04,070 Oh. And it's framed. 444 00:32:04,410 --> 00:32:05,410 That's a cool hit. 445 00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:07,550 But what about Jeff? 446 00:32:08,290 --> 00:32:09,290 What about me? 447 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,780 If anybody here has issues that could lead to murder... Okay. 448 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,560 Trans shaming is not cool, okay? 449 00:32:15,860 --> 00:32:20,620 Then he's just a dude. Yeah. Finest stuff for body strength in the dick 450 00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:22,820 Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay? 451 00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:24,039 I do. 452 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:29,540 Hey, hey. Listen, what we know so far is everyone who's been attacked is related 453 00:32:29,540 --> 00:32:31,100 to the original characters. 454 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,460 Who wants to kill the king? 455 00:32:36,910 --> 00:32:40,690 A what now? Yep. It's like a reboot and a sequel. It mixes legacy characters 456 00:32:40,690 --> 00:32:45,470 with new characters in an attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia and bring 457 00:32:45,470 --> 00:32:48,350 fans to the theaters. Just like last year's I Know What You Did Last Summer. 458 00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:51,649 That's a movie? 459 00:32:51,650 --> 00:32:54,950 What did I do last summer? I think you're talking about the summer I turned 460 00:32:54,950 --> 00:32:56,090 pretty. Yeah. Ray! 461 00:32:56,530 --> 00:32:57,590 When did you get here? 462 00:32:57,910 --> 00:32:59,530 I walked in here. I was just hanging out by the window. 463 00:33:00,470 --> 00:33:01,730 Oh. Mommy? 464 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:07,000 Okay, so that means that our killer is writing his own version of horror movie. 465 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,600 Okay, so according to the rebooty call rules, who's killer? 466 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,500 I think it's pretty obvious. 467 00:33:17,660 --> 00:33:18,660 Who? 468 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,160 You, bitch. 469 00:33:20,260 --> 00:33:22,780 Me? Guys, I am not the killer. 470 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,980 Ghostface attacked Tuesday to lure me back here. I think he attacked Tuesday 471 00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:31,300 get you back here so he could get me back here. 472 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,800 He wants to kill the OGs. That was a flex. 473 00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,220 Yeah, that's not true. 474 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,680 Fuck this! 475 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,900 And fuck you, mother! 476 00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:42,640 To your mother? Hey! 477 00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:13,239 Talk to me. Hello, Sheriff. 478 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,139 Agent Underwood? 479 00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:16,840 I'll give you one hint. 480 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,260 What's your favorite scary movie? 481 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,719 Well, I'm going to go with Saltburn. 482 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,480 I mean, the member on that English guy was terrifying. 483 00:34:24,940 --> 00:34:29,020 And Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was a much better depiction of the male 484 00:34:29,020 --> 00:34:31,480 anatomy. Now, what do you want, fuckface? 485 00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:35,600 Well, I'm just calling to tell you that by the time you get home, I'll have 486 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,780 gutted your baby girl. 487 00:34:37,739 --> 00:34:40,199 Hey, asshole, he's a boy. 488 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,320 Looking for this? 489 00:35:08,260 --> 00:35:09,840 Let me help you. 490 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,680 I got your baby dick. 491 00:35:13,220 --> 00:35:14,780 Winky, winky, winky, winky. 492 00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:27,800 What do you want, fuckface? 493 00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:31,280 Like father, like son. 494 00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:34,340 I have seen your home about. 495 00:35:34,910 --> 00:35:40,270 Well, that's out, but the pool guy, the gardener, and the plumber are all here, 496 00:35:40,350 --> 00:35:42,490 asshole. Look out your window. 497 00:35:47,410 --> 00:35:50,290 No, but they're the backbone of the American workforce. 498 00:35:51,470 --> 00:35:52,950 I'm not too white to do those jobs. 499 00:35:53,290 --> 00:35:54,590 Let's cut to the chase. 500 00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:56,770 I'll ask you one question. 501 00:35:57,090 --> 00:35:59,610 If you answer correctly, you live. 502 00:36:00,150 --> 00:36:03,570 Who was the killer in Horror Movie? 503 00:36:04,230 --> 00:36:09,010 Oh, that was easy. It was Bobby and then K -Ray, the guy who was totally into 504 00:36:09,010 --> 00:36:10,490 dudes, even though he claimed he wasn't. 505 00:36:10,690 --> 00:36:12,370 Classic 2000s homophobia. 506 00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:14,470 But I got you, bitch. Wrong. 507 00:36:14,870 --> 00:36:18,930 You forgot Special Officer Doofy. Now you die. 508 00:36:27,910 --> 00:36:29,150 Oh, my God! 509 00:36:31,030 --> 00:36:33,510 You should probably answer that. 510 00:36:33,850 --> 00:36:36,750 I can literally see you trying to steal my baggage. 511 00:36:38,010 --> 00:36:39,090 Oh, shit. 512 00:36:40,450 --> 00:36:41,510 Now it's easy. 513 00:36:44,530 --> 00:36:47,650 Uh, someone over here stinks. Let's go up. 514 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:51,750 Brain attack. 515 00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:54,330 Careful. You will not let me kill her. 516 00:36:54,790 --> 00:36:58,950 You are about to identify as dead. 517 00:37:02,390 --> 00:37:03,390 Ew. 518 00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:06,710 Just like a girl. 519 00:37:14,370 --> 00:37:15,550 Hello, girls. 520 00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:22,870 Please shut the door. This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News. Rapid News? 521 00:37:22,970 --> 00:37:23,970 You mean Vapid News. 522 00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:25,430 You don't even have a cameraman. 523 00:37:26,450 --> 00:37:29,450 Excuse me. 524 00:37:31,630 --> 00:37:32,630 Oh, my. 525 00:37:32,930 --> 00:37:34,210 You're... Yes, yes. 526 00:37:34,430 --> 00:37:38,810 Three -time Emmy nominee for Outstanding Achievement in Sensational Reporting. 527 00:37:39,030 --> 00:37:43,330 I was going to say the lady from Friends, but shorter than the class of 528 00:37:43,510 --> 00:37:45,350 Oh, is that what you were going to say? 529 00:37:45,670 --> 00:37:49,930 Yes. You seriously don't know who I am? Baby girl, I am... Gail Flores. 530 00:37:50,610 --> 00:37:54,170 Hey. Gail Storm. Gail, get the hell out of my way. 531 00:37:59,510 --> 00:38:02,090 Doofus. Hey, Gail. 532 00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:05,340 Ah, you're amazing today. 533 00:38:06,140 --> 00:38:09,580 Today's like a million days at this minute. Why? Yeah, your fingers felt 534 00:38:09,580 --> 00:38:12,260 genitals. What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform? 535 00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:14,400 I'm back on the case. 536 00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:16,240 Yeah, I'm going to bust Joe's face. 537 00:38:16,580 --> 00:38:23,400 Well, um, tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy, um, are there any suspects 538 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,480 in this tragic and completely predictable incident? 539 00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:27,980 I do not know what to say. 540 00:38:28,260 --> 00:38:29,860 No, no, no, no. 541 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,160 Yes, you can. 542 00:38:37,129 --> 00:38:41,150 Hey, remember when we used to give blowjobs for sensitive information? 543 00:38:41,770 --> 00:38:45,030 I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay? Not since Me Too. 544 00:38:45,290 --> 00:38:46,290 Okay, sorry. 545 00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:50,170 I give handjobs now, but the story better be good. Okay, I'll give you a 546 00:38:50,170 --> 00:38:51,550 handjob. Let's do it. Let's do it. 547 00:39:03,310 --> 00:39:04,310 What the? 548 00:39:07,410 --> 00:39:14,390 I'm going to get you. I'll come right back. 549 00:39:14,450 --> 00:39:15,368 I'm going to get you. Where? 550 00:39:15,370 --> 00:39:16,750 You got my outfit. You look good. 551 00:39:20,650 --> 00:39:22,090 Ain't it mean show me, Lino? 552 00:39:25,290 --> 00:39:26,430 Fuck yeah, it's true. 553 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,880 Shorty, you do know that smoking is bad for you. 554 00:39:42,620 --> 00:39:48,660 Actually, weed ain't bad for you. You got vitamin T, C, and H, C, B, and D. 555 00:39:49,340 --> 00:39:50,680 What's the matter, Shorty? 556 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,300 You look a little antsy. 557 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:59,760 Maybe because there's a masked serial killer sipping tea in my den. Sure. 558 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,460 my nigga. I mean, friend. 559 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,540 Please. All right. 560 00:40:07,660 --> 00:40:08,720 Do you want to quit smoking? 561 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:14,220 Well, to be honest, I tried to quit. But my mother said, I ain't raising no 562 00:40:14,220 --> 00:40:15,220 quitters. 563 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,200 So I quit quitting. We can try another fifth. 564 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:22,880 Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches you try and wave in front of my 565 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,220 It ain't gonna work, son. 566 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,300 You can't magnetize me. 567 00:40:26,540 --> 00:40:27,540 Sleep. 568 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000 Shorty. 569 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:33,600 Hmm? 570 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:35,140 What's up? 571 00:40:35,420 --> 00:40:36,940 Tell me about your... 572 00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:38,180 Mother. 573 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,198 Damn, nigga. 574 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,960 Let's start with something light. Like, do you lick ass? Yes or no? 575 00:40:44,220 --> 00:40:45,280 The answer's yes. 576 00:40:46,180 --> 00:40:48,840 So what happened to her, Shorty? 577 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:52,440 She's coming home. 578 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,940 Her car was parked on the side of the road. 579 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:57,920 Someone was in it. 580 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,760 Something bad was happening. 581 00:41:05,450 --> 00:41:06,590 Why did you call anyone? 582 00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:10,450 I have warrants. You were 11? 583 00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,530 I started young, nigga. 584 00:41:14,150 --> 00:41:16,470 What do you see? 585 00:41:20,210 --> 00:41:24,150 I see a big explosion of water. 586 00:41:25,790 --> 00:41:27,730 It was like a silver light bulb. 587 00:41:32,070 --> 00:41:33,750 Police said it was a murder -suicide. 588 00:41:36,140 --> 00:41:36,899 Shut that man. 589 00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:40,340 When they opened the car door, his limp body just slid out. 590 00:41:44,060 --> 00:41:46,200 Like the green nigga in Shape of Water. 591 00:41:46,980 --> 00:41:48,780 I just didn't want it to be real. 592 00:41:49,060 --> 00:41:50,600 What don't you want to be real? 593 00:41:51,820 --> 00:41:53,800 That my mother was a squirter. 594 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:59,000 Okay. All the floors in our bedroom was warped. 595 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,320 I can't move. 596 00:42:00,860 --> 00:42:01,920 You're paralyzed. 597 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,160 Now, think. 598 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:06,520 Into the chair. 599 00:42:06,660 --> 00:42:07,660 No, wait. 600 00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:46,710 That thing was wild. 601 00:43:46,870 --> 00:43:48,630 That must have been Elon Musk. 602 00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:54,590 Tuesday? 603 00:44:05,690 --> 00:44:06,690 Tuesday? 604 00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,250 Bobby? 605 00:44:17,550 --> 00:44:18,550 She's gonna die. 606 00:44:18,970 --> 00:44:19,970 Our daughter, Sarah? 607 00:44:20,270 --> 00:44:24,390 You're probably right. She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the cut. 608 00:44:24,630 --> 00:44:25,810 I'm gonna die. 609 00:44:26,290 --> 00:44:27,810 Bobby, you're already dead. 610 00:44:28,270 --> 00:44:32,990 This hallucination is a manifestation of my own guilt for being an awful mom. Or 611 00:44:32,990 --> 00:44:34,530 it could be the shrooms I just popped. 612 00:44:36,050 --> 00:44:37,450 You're gonna die. 613 00:44:38,030 --> 00:44:40,470 Bitch, you ain't killing me. 614 00:44:46,890 --> 00:44:47,910 You're gonna die. 615 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:50,870 Stop smiling! 616 00:44:51,530 --> 00:44:52,530 I can't. 617 00:44:52,590 --> 00:44:53,590 Hey! 618 00:44:54,790 --> 00:44:56,950 This is the mental ward. 619 00:44:57,250 --> 00:44:58,670 Everyone smiles in here. 620 00:44:59,570 --> 00:45:04,290 Oh, um, could you point me in the direction of the ICU? 621 00:45:04,570 --> 00:45:05,970 That way or that way? 622 00:45:06,330 --> 00:45:07,770 Uh, visiting hours are over. 623 00:45:08,070 --> 00:45:09,070 Oh, yes, of course. 624 00:45:10,370 --> 00:45:15,210 The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday has nothing to do with 625 00:45:15,630 --> 00:45:19,150 Well, just tell that to my black friend, Benita, who's probably clocking someone 626 00:45:19,150 --> 00:45:20,850 over the head of Target as we speak. 627 00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:48,060 If that shit lacking, see, people think it's lacking, but it's actually 628 00:45:48,060 --> 00:45:50,100 shocking. Oh, your hair look like fondue. 629 00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:51,218 It's dirty. 630 00:45:51,220 --> 00:45:52,280 I could get a monkey. 631 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,700 Coming June 10th. Only on Tubi. 632 00:46:27,580 --> 00:46:29,220 I'm a bootleg dad shit. 633 00:46:31,340 --> 00:46:32,340 Hello? 634 00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:34,900 Fuck you. 635 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,380 I'm gonna miss you all day. 636 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:13,140 Not to murder you or anything like that. Then why are you wearing gloves? 637 00:47:14,420 --> 00:47:19,400 Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up as O .J. Simpson for 638 00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:20,740 Halloween? But don't fit. 639 00:47:22,180 --> 00:47:25,520 No! Y 'all cool, bro? You almost did a thing! 640 00:47:25,740 --> 00:47:26,840 I mean, no! 641 00:48:09,769 --> 00:48:13,310 Wait until I stick my knife on him. 642 00:48:17,950 --> 00:48:21,830 I'm crying over here. 643 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,740 Excuse me, I'm already at the time. 644 00:49:16,940 --> 00:49:18,140 Can you please do it again? 645 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:19,520 Do me! 646 00:49:19,780 --> 00:49:21,280 I like doing that. 647 00:49:24,260 --> 00:49:25,500 Smiley, you son of a bitch. 648 00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:00,280 Let's get out of this house. 649 00:50:38,990 --> 00:50:40,590 Oh, Jack, that's my ass. 650 00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:41,669 All right. 651 00:50:41,670 --> 00:50:42,710 Any last words? 652 00:50:43,610 --> 00:50:45,450 I don't poopy. 653 00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:52,990 Oh, hell no. I ain't cleaning up that shit. 654 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,450 I'm on break. 655 00:50:54,770 --> 00:50:55,488 Come on. 656 00:50:55,490 --> 00:50:57,050 I'm just killing my queen. 657 00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:58,930 What did you say? 658 00:51:00,530 --> 00:51:01,930 Yo, what's up, Jack? 659 00:51:02,210 --> 00:51:05,830 It's your boy Shorty. That's right. It's another Halloween -a -thot. And that's 660 00:51:05,830 --> 00:51:11,350 another day of me getting paid mad money. for doing absolutely nothing 661 00:51:11,350 --> 00:51:12,550 stupid motherfuckers watch. 662 00:51:13,250 --> 00:51:14,630 They call me dumb. 663 00:51:14,930 --> 00:51:20,850 I want to give a smooth shout -out to my sponsor, Angry Orchard Hard Cider. 664 00:51:22,050 --> 00:51:24,310 They got mad apples, son. 665 00:51:27,790 --> 00:51:30,630 Please, stop it. People marketing genius. 666 00:51:30,990 --> 00:51:34,970 I won't be a Halloween -a -thong without a dope guest. He's a legend in the 667 00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:36,990 streaming game. Give it up for Kyle. 668 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,780 serious. What brings you to check? 669 00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,160 You brought something in the movie. 670 00:51:52,460 --> 00:51:54,280 I've been calling you. You're ghosting me. 671 00:51:54,920 --> 00:52:00,140 Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy ass baby mamas. That's my bad. Speaking 672 00:52:00,140 --> 00:52:03,480 of ghosting, somebody wants to talk to you. 673 00:52:04,500 --> 00:52:07,360 Hello? What's your favorite scary movie? 674 00:52:24,590 --> 00:52:28,090 We bought you a hot sauce. They got mad apples. 675 00:52:31,470 --> 00:52:37,530 I'm going to do my favorite thing. 676 00:52:38,330 --> 00:52:40,050 In the wheel. 677 00:52:41,870 --> 00:52:42,950 Do it again. 678 00:52:43,730 --> 00:52:46,690 We're going to go back there with these noodles and we're going to smack the 679 00:52:46,690 --> 00:52:49,650 fuck out of you. Come here, you've got to guess who did it. That doesn't mean 680 00:52:49,650 --> 00:52:52,050 anything. This is a dumb game. 681 00:53:57,270 --> 00:54:02,010 Shorthand was the handyman that the house reputed to be haunted in 2001. 682 00:54:03,450 --> 00:54:05,090 Is there anything you're not telling me? 683 00:54:05,370 --> 00:54:06,570 That your wife hates you. 684 00:54:07,070 --> 00:54:10,090 You believe the earth is flat and you voted for Trump. 685 00:54:10,710 --> 00:54:11,710 Great time. 686 00:54:11,730 --> 00:54:13,230 No, that's what's above for the woman. 687 00:54:13,630 --> 00:54:18,190 Huh? I believe Shorthand is a notorious ghost thing. 688 00:54:20,070 --> 00:54:21,230 What'd that mouth do? 689 00:54:24,270 --> 00:54:26,050 You did look pretty sketchy. 690 00:54:29,690 --> 00:54:31,070 I got the wrong guy. 691 00:54:31,850 --> 00:54:33,470 And you know that because you're sick? 692 00:54:33,790 --> 00:54:36,090 No. It's just only the rest of mine. 693 00:54:38,030 --> 00:54:39,030 I don't know. 694 00:54:39,590 --> 00:54:40,590 I got it black. 695 00:54:41,090 --> 00:54:43,110 It's kind of... Not that black. 696 00:54:43,470 --> 00:54:45,070 It's like gravy brown. 697 00:54:48,390 --> 00:54:50,050 Hit him with your strong hand. 698 00:54:51,990 --> 00:54:52,990 Arrest him anyways. 699 00:54:53,390 --> 00:54:54,470 Well, I did something, right? 700 00:54:55,630 --> 00:54:56,890 Turn up your body gas. 701 00:54:57,950 --> 00:55:00,030 This hailstorm, welcome back. 702 00:55:00,370 --> 00:55:04,270 Doc, I'm begging you. You gotta help me look younger. These little bitches are 703 00:55:04,270 --> 00:55:07,750 killing me out there. They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a ring 704 00:55:07,750 --> 00:55:13,990 light. Trust me with this withered, decrepit, age -ravaged body, and I will 705 00:55:13,990 --> 00:55:14,848 you whole. 706 00:55:14,850 --> 00:55:17,070 Well, you know, there's a white lady special coming right up. 707 00:55:17,290 --> 00:55:20,810 Thanks. I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins and outs of the procedure, and 708 00:55:20,810 --> 00:55:21,810 then we'll get started. 709 00:55:26,060 --> 00:55:28,100 Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy? 710 00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:33,200 Do you wish you were younger, sexier, fuckable again? 711 00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:38,860 One single injection unlocks your DNA, creating a new value. 712 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,860 This is the stuff. 713 00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:48,520 Doc, this isn't that Buena Paltrow crap that makes you smell like a vag, is it? 714 00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,200 Oops, wrong movie. 715 00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,740 You were thinking it. 716 00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:39,120 White shit to my ass. 717 00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:43,800 Hey, 718 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,000 Sarah. 719 00:57:50,340 --> 00:57:57,040 Tuesday, I tried to visit you. I am sorry for everything, especially 720 00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:58,040 your name. 721 00:57:58,490 --> 00:58:03,250 It was Taco Tuesday. I was super drunk. But I promise you, I will kill this 722 00:58:03,250 --> 00:58:04,250 motherfucker. 723 00:58:04,810 --> 00:58:09,350 I'm going to take you to the car. 724 00:58:09,590 --> 00:58:14,150 I'm taking twos away from all of this. 725 00:58:15,270 --> 00:58:20,730 I tried to run two, but it follows. 726 00:58:21,850 --> 00:58:25,810 Yeah, you're probably expecting a flashback to that movie, but it's too 727 00:58:26,990 --> 00:58:30,010 you have sex with someone given an STD and 728 00:59:03,630 --> 00:59:04,630 Candyman. 729 00:59:05,750 --> 00:59:06,750 Candyman. 730 00:59:07,010 --> 00:59:08,790 You sure about this? Yeah. 731 00:59:09,110 --> 00:59:10,310 Keep saying it. 732 00:59:11,570 --> 00:59:12,570 Candyman? 733 00:59:33,260 --> 00:59:34,640 What's up? You got that candy, man? 734 00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:42,340 I got weed gummies, K -nuts, and what takes you 735 00:59:42,340 --> 00:59:47,540 so long to show up? Come on, Clarence. I called you five times, nigga. Show up 736 00:59:47,540 --> 00:59:49,760 in three. You ain't even called me on the phone. 737 00:59:50,180 --> 00:59:53,260 Luckily, I was walking by and heard y 'all through the hole in this wall. 738 00:59:53,580 --> 00:59:58,320 Fix that shit. You shut your ass up. You need to go to a proctologist and get 739 00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:02,280 your skin looked at. Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work. 740 01:00:02,650 --> 01:00:03,690 I look better than this, nigga. 741 01:00:03,950 --> 01:00:07,670 Maybe on this side. Hey, ain't no time to be. We about to be high as well. We 742 01:00:07,670 --> 01:00:08,670 gonna party, son. 743 01:00:10,990 --> 01:00:13,790 Happy Halloween, y 'all. 744 01:00:14,150 --> 01:00:15,290 Watch out for your face. 745 01:00:15,870 --> 01:00:16,910 That's right. We get. 746 01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:19,050 Hey. 747 01:00:19,270 --> 01:00:20,510 I love it. Come here. 748 01:00:21,350 --> 01:00:22,350 Look at this. 749 01:00:22,670 --> 01:00:23,670 You seen your sister? 750 01:00:25,470 --> 01:00:26,470 Wait. 751 01:00:26,950 --> 01:00:27,950 You seen Gay? 752 01:00:28,190 --> 01:00:30,750 I can't find her since she went to that protest. 753 01:00:31,230 --> 01:00:32,230 No. 754 01:00:40,250 --> 01:00:42,190 Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain. 755 01:00:42,910 --> 01:00:45,890 I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't. 756 01:00:47,430 --> 01:00:48,990 You love that movie. 757 01:00:49,790 --> 01:00:50,689 Hey, Brenda. 758 01:00:50,690 --> 01:00:55,610 Huh? Have you seen my big old bag of candy? It had chocolates, gummies, 759 01:00:55,690 --> 01:01:00,390 lollipops. It's going missing. No, no, no. It's not missing. I passed it out to 760 01:01:00,390 --> 01:01:01,390 the trick -or -treaters. 761 01:01:01,710 --> 01:01:03,950 Brenda, that's my stash. 762 01:02:37,450 --> 01:02:41,390 Do you know how many baby seals died from microplastics? 763 01:02:50,830 --> 01:02:51,930 Yeah, God's great. 764 01:02:56,110 --> 01:02:59,930 My God, he stabbed her. Not her. 765 01:03:00,130 --> 01:03:01,810 My pronouns are they them. 766 01:03:02,070 --> 01:03:04,390 He stabbed them. I'm over 40. 767 01:03:04,590 --> 01:03:06,470 How am I supposed to keep up with all of this? 768 01:03:06,790 --> 01:03:07,790 He's not wrong. 769 01:03:08,010 --> 01:03:12,750 It's Karens like you that keep the patriarchy going with their knees on our 770 01:03:12,750 --> 01:03:15,410 necks. Now you're playing the race card? 771 01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,310 That's enough of her shit. That shit, bitch. 772 01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:28,310 clear my real name is oh shit isn't too good nor the insult 773 01:03:28,310 --> 01:03:34,350 they don't realize we're gonna help them toxic masculinity and mansplaining 774 01:03:34,350 --> 01:03:41,170 doesn't help anybody i love women and sports just not 775 01:03:41,170 --> 01:03:42,170 together 776 01:03:54,830 --> 01:03:55,830 I'm going mad at you. 777 01:03:59,410 --> 01:04:02,710 Uncle Shorty, you still mad at me? 778 01:04:03,170 --> 01:04:04,370 Can I ask you something? 779 01:04:05,370 --> 01:04:06,370 Yeah, sure. 780 01:04:07,630 --> 01:04:11,250 It's about, you know, how to go down on a girl. 781 01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:13,330 It's about eating pussy? 782 01:04:14,110 --> 01:04:16,290 Yes. It's so cringe, but yeah. 783 01:04:16,530 --> 01:04:20,070 So maybe if you stop talking like a 14 -year -old white girl, you could learn 784 01:04:20,070 --> 01:04:22,290 something. All right, so listen up. 785 01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:25,740 First thing you got to do, you got to spread it to the man. You got to open it 786 01:04:25,740 --> 01:04:27,380 up. And you want to use your fingers. 787 01:04:27,820 --> 01:04:29,000 Sometimes you can use two. 788 01:04:29,460 --> 01:04:30,780 Two fingers, like that there. 789 01:04:31,020 --> 01:04:35,940 Now, once you get it all in there, now you got to use your tongue. 790 01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:37,520 You can't be afraid of it. 791 01:04:40,780 --> 01:04:42,160 Lean into it. 792 01:04:42,620 --> 01:04:44,140 No, no, no. You're doing it too fast. 793 01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,680 Listen. 794 01:04:46,940 --> 01:04:48,640 You got to be gentle. You got to talk to it. 795 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,280 Hello, little guy. 796 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,680 How you doing? 797 01:04:54,250 --> 01:04:57,250 It's like blowing in the blood. All you gotta do, nephew. 798 01:04:59,670 --> 01:05:02,170 Zip that shit. 799 01:05:03,530 --> 01:05:04,530 Got it? 800 01:05:04,750 --> 01:05:09,150 Now, if you want to learn to lick ass, that's your mama. 801 01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,830 You feel so good. 802 01:05:14,850 --> 01:05:17,010 Oh, yeah. 803 01:05:17,650 --> 01:05:20,310 Well, I want to try something. 804 01:05:20,780 --> 01:05:23,800 I thought you said you'd never let me peck you. What? No. 805 01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:25,900 Relax. 806 01:05:26,220 --> 01:05:27,520 I just want to taste you. 807 01:05:30,100 --> 01:05:31,100 Okay. 808 01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:33,860 Dinner time. 809 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,480 Oh, yeah. Come here, baby. 810 01:05:39,220 --> 01:05:40,220 Careful. 811 01:05:40,860 --> 01:05:42,060 You might be a gangster. 812 01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,340 Oh. It is gangster. 813 01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:48,340 Okay. Stop. You're so hot. You want some more? 814 01:05:48,620 --> 01:05:49,620 Yeah. 815 01:05:53,079 --> 01:06:00,060 I feel so much better in the barrel than them. Get back in there! Yeah! 816 01:06:00,100 --> 01:06:01,520 Lick it! Yeah! 817 01:06:02,180 --> 01:06:03,360 Lick it hard! 818 01:06:04,220 --> 01:06:05,360 Finish her. 819 01:06:05,980 --> 01:06:09,140 Oh my God! 820 01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:14,380 Just like rolling in blood. 821 01:06:28,140 --> 01:06:29,380 We heard tell of a Halloween party. 822 01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:34,800 You didn't know, did you? We're here to drink, play bad music, do some half -gay 823 01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:35,800 shit. 824 01:06:35,900 --> 01:06:37,020 Watch us half -gay. 825 01:06:37,540 --> 01:06:38,540 Can I help you? 826 01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:40,420 If you'd just invite us in. 827 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,260 Why do you need an invitation? 828 01:06:42,620 --> 01:06:45,460 White folks show up to parties and invite us all the time with their little 829 01:06:45,460 --> 01:06:49,180 nasty -ass casseroles. Bland as shit. Y 'all better start using some loud. 830 01:06:49,620 --> 01:06:53,400 And why she got them dirty -ass feet? Looked like you was walking around 831 01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:55,860 sets all day. Got them trailer -blocked toes. 832 01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:58,920 I think you're in the wrong place. 833 01:06:59,340 --> 01:07:00,340 Y 'all play? 834 01:07:01,020 --> 01:07:02,020 No. 835 01:07:02,180 --> 01:07:04,460 We believe in music and equality. 836 01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:06,240 How about we show y 'all? 837 01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:07,440 It's okay, Tom. 838 01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:26,820 Wheezy's rolling around in her grave right now. Can't do this to the black 839 01:07:26,820 --> 01:07:27,820 national anthem. 840 01:07:35,500 --> 01:07:36,500 Boo! 841 01:07:37,060 --> 01:07:38,900 Look at you fuck! Boo your ass! 842 01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:41,500 Get that bullshit out of here! 843 01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,240 Why don't y 'all just go to one of those frat parties where they drink until 844 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,420 they black out and wake up with their booties hurting, not knowing what 845 01:07:48,420 --> 01:07:50,540 in the cowboy hat did to them. Yeah, what? 846 01:07:51,180 --> 01:07:55,930 Oh. Okay, well, we will leave you guys alone, but we're going to walk real slow 847 01:07:55,930 --> 01:07:58,010 just in case y 'all change your minds. 848 01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:03,170 Change your minds yet? No. Hell no. 849 01:08:04,050 --> 01:08:05,050 How about now? 850 01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:06,210 No. No. 851 01:08:06,770 --> 01:08:07,830 Yes? Hell no. 852 01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:09,710 Keep walking. Now get. 853 01:08:10,070 --> 01:08:12,470 Go, go, go. Sarah, come on. White folks is getting weird. 854 01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:30,120 Look at me. 855 01:08:35,399 --> 01:08:36,399 Hey, 856 01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:38,660 Tuesday! 857 01:08:39,580 --> 01:08:40,740 You came back! 858 01:08:41,300 --> 01:08:42,720 Yeah, I just left my inhaler. 859 01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:45,960 Oh, it was a Tuesday. I thought inhalers were the worst plot device you've ever 860 01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:49,939 had to try. That's true. Should have been a thing. But we're here now, so 861 01:08:49,939 --> 01:08:52,020 make the most of it. Now wear the white clothes! 862 01:08:59,060 --> 01:09:04,020 Hello. Get your sister and get out of there right now. Okay, hon? I am a grown 863 01:09:04,020 --> 01:09:04,959 -ass woman. 864 01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:08,920 Mother, I don't have to do anything you tell me to do. That's the house where 865 01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:10,479 your psychopath killed those people. 866 01:09:10,779 --> 01:09:12,220 Someone wanted to get in there. 867 01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:16,640 Which means someone wants to get me there. 868 01:09:17,080 --> 01:09:18,960 Oh, my God. This isn't about you. 869 01:09:19,399 --> 01:09:22,540 Why are you going to ask about me? You live so fucking far away. 870 01:09:23,380 --> 01:09:25,840 Wait, hold on. Are you tracking my phone? 871 01:09:26,260 --> 01:09:28,479 Shh. You're breaking up. Yeah. Shh. 872 01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:01,680 I didn't see that movie, okay? 873 01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:03,660 I just found the thing in the shed. 874 01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,040 Jesus. 875 01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:11,880 Come on, bro. 876 01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:13,560 That's even worse. 877 01:10:14,860 --> 01:10:16,760 I didn't mean it that way. 878 01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:18,860 Some of my best victims are black. 879 01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:25,600 And another brother falls victim to gun violence. 880 01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:28,320 Turns out race is still an issue. 881 01:10:28,700 --> 01:10:29,700 That's not fair. 882 01:10:29,930 --> 01:10:32,070 You know, black guys usually die first in horror movies. 883 01:11:10,060 --> 01:11:13,980 Why are you running backwards, Charlie? Oh, no, it's not me. It's some trouble. 884 01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:15,700 Man, your remote is upside down. 885 01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:19,380 Game on, bitches. 886 01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:26,040 Fuck, 887 01:11:26,800 --> 01:11:28,060 lives matter. 888 01:11:28,420 --> 01:11:29,420 It's not you, Charlie. 889 01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,420 Oh, my. I need you. What's going on? Oh, Jeff. 890 01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:35,360 Oh, thank God you're here. Where were you? 891 01:11:35,800 --> 01:11:37,240 Ghostface was just here. 892 01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:40,290 I was just outside getting some rest. Stop! 893 01:11:41,610 --> 01:11:43,950 One of you is the killer. 894 01:11:44,770 --> 01:11:48,210 Well, why do you have blood on your hands? 895 01:11:49,970 --> 01:11:52,270 I found that outside. 896 01:11:52,670 --> 01:11:53,770 She's the killer! 897 01:11:54,070 --> 01:11:56,190 I am not the killer. 898 01:11:56,490 --> 01:11:58,050 I'm not even that positive. 899 01:11:58,330 --> 01:11:59,330 I'm a virgin. 900 01:11:59,550 --> 01:12:00,549 No way. 901 01:12:00,550 --> 01:12:02,150 You're being like every dude in Woodsville. 902 01:12:02,470 --> 01:12:03,470 Fuck you. 903 01:12:04,250 --> 01:12:07,230 The butt doesn't count. 904 01:12:13,710 --> 01:12:15,050 Act three, bitches. 905 01:12:17,090 --> 01:12:18,090 What? 906 01:12:19,150 --> 01:12:20,570 What does that even mean? 907 01:12:21,870 --> 01:12:23,810 It's when the shit goes down. 908 01:13:18,419 --> 01:13:19,820 What do you think? 909 01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:24,440 I think Drake lost to Kendrick. I still like Drake. 910 01:13:24,660 --> 01:13:27,580 What was up with that lawsuit? That's such a bitch ass move. 911 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:29,440 About this situation. 912 01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:32,140 Oh, that's definitely a trap. 913 01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:33,840 She don't know where we are depending on that. 914 01:13:57,640 --> 01:13:58,640 I'd do anything for you, Brenda. 915 01:14:05,080 --> 01:14:09,700 Yes! She bought it! That's no ketchup trick! It don't fail! 916 01:14:10,100 --> 01:14:13,360 That bitch is crazy and she thought I was taking my black ass back in there. 917 01:14:17,980 --> 01:14:18,980 It's your turn. 918 01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:22,260 You have five seconds to show yourself. 919 01:14:58,380 --> 01:15:01,520 You forgot the first rule of surviving a horror movie. 920 01:15:01,740 --> 01:15:03,640 Never answer that, though. 921 01:15:04,760 --> 01:15:08,000 I thought the first rule was never trust the live interest. 922 01:15:09,820 --> 01:15:10,820 Oh, really? 923 01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,020 Oh, I'm changing rules. How about that? 924 01:15:14,020 --> 01:15:15,020 New rule. 925 01:15:15,420 --> 01:15:16,920 Go fuck yourself. 926 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:18,600 Wait, wait. 927 01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:19,760 Oh, 928 01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:22,260 why are you in closets so much? 929 01:15:22,520 --> 01:15:23,960 I told you to come out. 930 01:15:24,220 --> 01:15:25,840 Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot. 931 01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:27,300 Ironic, isn't it? 932 01:15:42,139 --> 01:15:47,080 Mr. Todd is just a metaphor. It was about losing his wife. 933 01:17:03,020 --> 01:17:04,020 Eat a dick. 934 01:17:11,900 --> 01:17:16,440 Shoot him, Sarah. And this. 935 01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:17,920 Don't tell me what to do. 936 01:17:18,180 --> 01:17:24,140 This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy -daughter issues, but... Sarah, I 937 01:17:24,140 --> 01:17:28,500 am so sorry. I have been a terrible mother. I don't even know if your sister 938 01:17:28,500 --> 01:17:32,910 Wednesday or Tuesday has to... clarify that for legal reasons. 939 01:17:33,170 --> 01:17:34,950 But I prepared you for this. 940 01:17:35,410 --> 01:17:36,810 So go on, baby. 941 01:17:37,050 --> 01:17:38,230 You kill him. 942 01:17:38,810 --> 01:17:40,570 Sarah! Sarah! 943 01:17:41,550 --> 01:17:42,890 Sarah! Sarah! 944 01:17:43,170 --> 01:17:46,690 Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! 945 01:17:46,690 --> 01:17:47,389 Sarah! Sarah! 946 01:17:47,390 --> 01:17:48,390 Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! 947 01:17:53,350 --> 01:17:54,350 Sarah! 948 01:17:58,350 --> 01:17:59,350 Sarah! 949 01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:02,800 Fuck! 950 01:18:03,340 --> 01:18:05,620 Oh, sorry, honey. I hate being right. 951 01:18:06,200 --> 01:18:07,680 You should have listened to Doofy. 952 01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:09,500 A bitch. 953 01:18:09,720 --> 01:18:10,720 Bitch, 954 01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:15,420 I think it's too obvious, you know? It makes you think it is not obvious. 955 01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:16,640 Yeah, 956 01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:18,520 well, that's the twist. 957 01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:20,080 Now get in the kitchen. 958 01:18:20,260 --> 01:18:21,260 Go. 959 01:18:21,360 --> 01:18:22,360 Okay, 960 01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:23,760 listen up. 961 01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:28,920 See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since the first one. 962 01:18:29,220 --> 01:18:30,460 We're going to save the franchise. 963 01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:32,440 Go get our special guest star. 964 01:18:35,180 --> 01:18:37,080 Hollywood! Out of ideas. 965 01:18:37,700 --> 01:18:40,160 Why else would there be a scary movie 6? 966 01:18:40,420 --> 01:18:44,260 But it wouldn't work with just the new characters, would it? We need the legacy 967 01:18:44,260 --> 01:18:49,660 characters. Oh, and there wouldn't be a Cindy without her sassy black sidekick 968 01:18:49,660 --> 01:18:53,360 Brenda. You ain't have to say black with no heartbeat like that. 969 01:19:21,309 --> 01:19:23,390 Tuesday. Okay, ladies. 970 01:19:23,790 --> 01:19:25,690 Time to stage the party. 971 01:19:26,110 --> 01:19:28,190 Let's go, let's go, let's go. 972 01:19:30,350 --> 01:19:32,130 Who are you people? 973 01:19:32,370 --> 01:19:33,550 We're the motherfuckers. 974 01:20:10,700 --> 01:20:15,000 That's right. On my knees, on the same height as Kevin. And Kevin said no. 975 01:20:15,220 --> 01:20:18,320 Kevin Hart said no? That little motherfucker says yes to everything. 976 01:20:18,940 --> 01:20:19,818 Yeah, he does. 977 01:20:19,820 --> 01:20:20,820 But wait. 978 01:20:21,440 --> 01:20:22,440 There's more. 979 01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:24,800 Ta -da! 980 01:20:26,640 --> 01:20:27,880 Bitches! Ray! 981 01:20:28,480 --> 01:20:30,480 Shorty! Yeah, that's right. 982 01:20:30,860 --> 01:20:33,880 Four black killings. 983 01:20:34,220 --> 01:20:35,220 We're making history. 984 01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:38,200 It's a new definition of black excellence. 985 01:20:39,430 --> 01:20:40,970 But why would you do this? 986 01:20:41,410 --> 01:20:42,410 Question it. 987 01:20:43,050 --> 01:20:47,330 Why would you try to make a sequel without us, huh? Yeah. When the studio 988 01:20:47,330 --> 01:20:50,030 to replace these brothers, I was there. 989 01:20:50,530 --> 01:20:51,530 That's facts. 990 01:20:51,610 --> 01:20:52,610 What about me? 991 01:20:52,890 --> 01:20:56,190 What about you? You were in one scene in part four. 992 01:20:56,650 --> 01:21:00,610 Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr. Phil cut his foot off. And he crazy now. 993 01:21:00,690 --> 01:21:01,690 Yeah, he got weird. 994 01:21:01,950 --> 01:21:03,870 But you see what they're trying to do? 995 01:21:04,110 --> 01:21:07,010 They're trying to pit us all up against each other. They're trying to start 996 01:21:07,010 --> 01:21:09,580 black or... on very black crime. That's right. 997 01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:13,200 Yo, Shaq. Hey, I'm proud of you, bro. 998 01:21:13,420 --> 01:21:16,880 You've had an amazing career as a sports commentator since retiring from 999 01:21:16,880 --> 01:21:19,820 basketball. Mm -hmm. And I love the big podcast. 1000 01:21:20,100 --> 01:21:21,100 Nigga, I love that shit. 1001 01:21:21,660 --> 01:21:24,800 Even though I don't understand a word you be saying, you be on that show talk. 1002 01:21:25,140 --> 01:21:26,420 All right, all right, all right. 1003 01:21:27,420 --> 01:21:28,420 Thanks, come in. 1004 01:21:29,160 --> 01:21:30,400 Kobe. Enough. 1005 01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:34,540 But my point is, nigga, I love your shit. 1006 01:21:36,110 --> 01:21:37,930 But I never got over Kazan. 1007 01:21:45,410 --> 01:21:52,190 How big 1008 01:21:52,190 --> 01:21:54,210 is your dick? 1009 01:21:58,030 --> 01:22:02,210 What the fuck are you talking about? I'm doing it for the culture. 1010 01:22:07,950 --> 01:22:09,050 Alright, alright. We back. 1011 01:22:09,990 --> 01:22:13,190 Hey, Dad. Don't you worry. We family. 1012 01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:15,150 Mad respect. 1013 01:22:16,170 --> 01:22:18,790 Black is nominated for eight Emmys. 1014 01:22:19,050 --> 01:22:20,050 Actually, 1015 01:22:21,290 --> 01:22:22,970 the show was only nominated for five. 1016 01:22:23,210 --> 01:22:25,090 I was nominated for eight. 1017 01:22:29,350 --> 01:22:36,290 But you never won. 1018 01:23:04,810 --> 01:23:08,210 I went and did scary movie three and four without her. Baby, I'm sorry. 1019 01:23:08,510 --> 01:23:13,170 They offered me so much money. I got a new house, a new car, and a lease I 1020 01:23:13,170 --> 01:23:14,170 need. 1021 01:23:14,490 --> 01:23:15,490 What about you? 1022 01:23:16,790 --> 01:23:21,390 Well, I had a chance to work with the incomparable Charlie Sheen. 1023 01:23:23,730 --> 01:23:24,648 That's good. 1024 01:23:24,650 --> 01:23:26,990 He's a legend. And his dick game is crazy. 1025 01:23:27,270 --> 01:23:31,930 You know, he slept with 47 ,000 women and 1 ,000 of them women were dudes. 1026 01:23:32,450 --> 01:23:33,450 Lucky guy. 1027 01:23:35,690 --> 01:23:37,090 So y 'all gonna kill us now? 1028 01:23:38,710 --> 01:23:39,710 Nah. 1029 01:23:40,550 --> 01:23:43,050 What would Halloween be without Janie Lee Curtis? 1030 01:23:43,330 --> 01:23:45,310 Or Scream be without Nev Kim? 1031 01:23:45,590 --> 01:23:46,710 That would be Scream 6. 1032 01:23:46,970 --> 01:23:49,450 How did you guys pull all of this off? 1033 01:23:49,730 --> 01:23:53,030 Sandy, you know how many Wayanses there are? 1034 01:23:53,770 --> 01:23:54,770 Nigga, billions. 1035 01:23:55,230 --> 01:23:58,890 Billions. I'm just so happy that the old gang is back together. 1036 01:23:59,650 --> 01:24:00,950 Okay, and then... 1037 01:24:05,960 --> 01:24:12,880 What about the young and the restless? Or the old and then 1038 01:24:12,880 --> 01:24:18,300 the beautiful? Or the cute and the crusty? Or the sexy and then the sexy? 1039 01:24:36,300 --> 01:24:37,300 that once we were settling. 1040 01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:38,680 Oh, my back hurts. 1041 01:24:39,420 --> 01:24:41,040 Guys! Guys! 1042 01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:42,540 They're already dead. 1043 01:24:42,980 --> 01:24:44,880 Little fuckers always come back. 1044 01:24:45,120 --> 01:24:46,680 Oh, no. Not this time. 1045 01:24:47,100 --> 01:24:48,200 Exactly. Come on. 1046 01:25:28,320 --> 01:25:29,320 I don't know. 1047 01:25:30,200 --> 01:25:31,800 I kind of like it. 1048 01:25:33,020 --> 01:25:34,040 You do, Ray? 1049 01:25:34,300 --> 01:25:37,120 We should play the fireman. You want to dress up like a fireman? 1050 01:25:37,380 --> 01:25:39,180 No, I want you to dress up like a fireman. 1051 01:25:40,220 --> 01:25:41,220 Y 'all do the dress.