1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,425
Ash Williams, you're under arrest

2
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:09,792
for the murder of Amber Corey.

3
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,803
- Baal: Shh.
- There's a demon in here.

4
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,598
He's hidden among us.
He could be in any one of you.

5
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,267
I got a problem.
What if I'm baal?

6
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,103
Wait, wait, wait!

7
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,688
You're not thinking straight.

8
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,417
Ruby: Baal gets into people's psyches,
turning them against each other,

9
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,794
- until they annihilate themselves.
- Thomas, this isn't you.

10
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,363
Don't you ever shut the fuck up?!

11
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:33,283
- Linda: It's over!
- Hey, toots. Come to daddy.

12
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,428
I'm going to send you back to hell
where you belong.

13
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,496
And how exactly?

14
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,123
The necronomicon is gone,
and I'm up here.

15
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,629
- Is that sumerian?
- I told you I'm him.

16
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,216
No, Pablo. You're not baal.
You're our only hope of stopping him.

17
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,440
Never seen this before.

18
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,807
The book of the dead
festering inside a live human body.

19
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,654
- That's good, right? No?
- Ash.

20
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:19,913
What's happening?!

21
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,542
Pablo?

22
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,518
- Oh, my god.
- Pablo?

23
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,273
Come on, buddy,
quit fooling around.

24
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,358
You're scaring me...
Uh-uh, these people.

25
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,987
Oh, no.

26
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:55,407
Kelly:
Ash, what's wrong with him?

27
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,080
- Ash?
- Pablo?

28
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,584
Buddy.

29
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,846
Where the hell is he?!
He's a murderer!

30
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,157
You're supposed to protect this town.

31
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,892
You let this guy come back
and do all this right under your nose?!

32
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,139
- Now listen to me.
- I want justice for my daughter!

33
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,355
Justice for Amber!

34
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,041
It's hard, isn't it?

35
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,086
Resisting the urge to shoot
that vile woman in the head.

36
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,255
I don't blame you.

37
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,758
Make these people respect you,
not think of you as the guy

38
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:58,512
who lost his town
and his wife to ash Williams.

39
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,779
Who are you?

40
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,324
Well, uh, just like that hooker

41
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,368
you saw in Detroit last summer?

42
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:26,456
I can be
whoever you want me to be, sugar.

43
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,000
Oh, Jesus.

44
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,647
Well, the son of god might be
a stretch, but you get the point.

45
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,338
What's happening?

46
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:38,593
- I just want my family back.
- Oh.

47
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,972
Yeah, well, here's the thing.

48
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,307
I could take her out,
or you could take her out.

49
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,559
It doesn't really matter.

50
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:49,146
We both know that she's not
the one that you want, so...

51
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:54,609
- What are you going to do about it?
- Ash Williams is a murderer!

52
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,820
What are you going to do about it?!

53
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,954
Can't you just cut it out of me?

54
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,123
Doesn't work like that.

55
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,417
It's not like there's
a physical book inside you.

56
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,170
It's more like you're becoming
one with the book.

57
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,338
Like a spiritual convergence.

58
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,132
Wait a minute, this convergence,

59
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,010
once it happens,
what does that mean for Pablo?

60
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,971
Once the book
manifests completely,

61
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,556
there'll be no Pablo.

62
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,349
That's a nay-no.

63
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,061
- Look, ash, I understand...
- Do I need to spell it out to you?

64
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,397
It's a nay-no on no-Pablo.
Are we clear?

65
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,442
Just so you're clear,
the necronomicon is the only way

66
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,249
we can banish baal
back to the underworld.

67
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,237
Nuh-uh, I got a plan for baal,

68
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:43,033
and it doesn't involve recycling Pablo
into some stupid book.

69
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,369
I'm going to find him, take my chainsaw,
shove it right up his ass.

70
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,164
He is never going to
show his face to you.

71
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,876
Even if you do somehow manage
to find him, he'll justjump bodies.

72
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,711
Way ahead of you.

73
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,922
You see that?
That's a pet tracker.

74
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,424
I got that 'cause Eli
kept getting into my weed stash

75
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:00,871
and wandering around my trailer.

76
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,304
All I got to do is find baal once,
shove this down his throat.

77
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,640
That way,
even if he sheds his skin,

78
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,351
I can still find him,
take my chainsaw...

79
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,269
And shove it right up baal's ass?

80
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,916
You're like the daughter I never had.

81
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,566
Your chainsaw is never
going to stop baal,

82
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,318
no matter where you shove it.

83
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,153
But there may be a way.

84
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,115
If we can allow the convergence
to continue a little longer,

85
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:27,744
I can isolate the right passage
to cast baal back.

86
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,371
Uh, okay.

87
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:33,208
So maybe we can add your thing
on top of my great pet tracker plan.

88
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,544
We get Pablo right up close,
he does his voodoo,

89
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,510
and, well, the rest
will just fall into place.

90
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,007
- Don't overthink it.
- Guys, Pablo's going to be...

91
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,724
- Fine.
- Get him up to my room.

92
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,060
Do not kill Pablo.

93
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,813
And don't get any of that crap
on my stuff.

94
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,095
Linda, I made a promise to you,
so I'm going to go out now

95
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,151
and find your ex-husband?

96
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,112
Thank you, ash.

97
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,365
Despite everything that's happened,
I still want to make sure he's okay.

98
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,075
Yeah, yeah, me too.

99
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,119
Listen, don't worry
about a thing, okay?

100
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,996
You're safe here, I promise.

101
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,290
Woman: Murderer! Get out!

102
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,375
Man:
Go back to where you came from!

103
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,461
Man: Get the hell out of here!

104
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,630
Woman: Our children are dead!

105
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,425
Man: Take your evil and go!

106
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,597
Well, I found him.

107
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,557
Thomas is out there?

108
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,768
- What the hell is he doing?
- Ooh, I wouldn't do that.

109
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:41,985
- We're good.
- Lacey, go wait for me upstairs.

110
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,113
Emery: Ash Williams!

111
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,783
You've been ordered to surrender yourself
into my custody right now!

112
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,411
Thomas? Why are you doing this?

113
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,497
You saw what ash did.
You know he's protecting us.

114
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:02,213
All I know is if he doesn't
come out willingly,

115
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,716
we're coming in there
to drag him out!

116
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,888
- You hear me, Williams?!
- Okay, we cannot let this crowd in here

117
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,349
to screw up whatever
Ruby's doing with Pablo.

118
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,142
I got an idea.

119
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,024
You want ash?!

120
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:24,277
Well, you fuckwads better know
how to walk through lead!

121
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:29,199
Okay, so, I just fired a gun
at a crowd of civilians.

122
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,368
Yeah, that's like a felony.

123
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,709
- Hey, what... what-what's that for?
- Protection.

124
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:43,213
I'm sorry, how is salt
meant to protect him?

125
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,215
It's not, it's meant
to protect us from him.

126
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,426
Don't worry,
everything is going to be fine.

127
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,930
It's just a precaution. Right?

128
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:56,559
I'm going to use an incantation
to accelerate the convergence.

129
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,062
It's going to hurt
a lot more than this, isn't it?

130
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,563
It'll be over quickly.

131
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,323
Back off now,

132
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,786
or I will fuck your faces with bullets!

133
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,498
- Too much?
- I totally bought it.

134
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,339
Sounds like they're trying
to break in upstairs.

135
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:24,647
I'm good down here.

136
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,755
Okay, I'll be right back.

137
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,052
Stay strong, Pablo!

138
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,554
It feels like my skin
is going to explode!

139
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:35,158
It looks like something's not right.
By that pendant.

140
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,331
Please! Please!
You have to stop this!

141
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,625
Pablo, I need to take that pendant.

142
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:48,505
Fuck.

143
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,865
Pablo. Oh, my god.

144
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,480
- Ah!
- Both: Oh!

145
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:30,732
- Chet!
- Hey!

146
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,151
- What are you doing in here?!
- Uh...

147
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,572
Nothing.

148
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,791
Uh, Chet?

149
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,793
- Yeah?
- We should get out of here.

150
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,046
Right.

151
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,593
Move your butt, Chet!

152
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,014
- You okay?
- Yeah.

153
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,934
They have the book.

154
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,105
What the hell
were you doing in that room?

155
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,108
Dude, there's a huge mob
coming for you.

156
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,276
I came to warn you!

157
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,237
What were you doing
in Cheryl's room with her stuff?

158
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,533
Oh, wait! Is that Cheryl's room?

159
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,535
Woman: Ash?

160
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,498
Ashley?

161
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,140
Ash: Cheryl?

162
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,058
- Cheryl.
- Cheryl?

163
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,395
Ash? Is that you?

164
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,855
I'm scared.

165
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,358
Yeah. It's me, Cheryl.

166
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,446
How'd you get here, sis?

167
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:45,575
I don't know.
I-I don't understand any of this.

168
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,494
Where's dad?

169
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:53,082
Um... dad's not here right now.

170
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,045
Well, you look different.
What happened to you?

171
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,548
Pancakes?

172
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,009
Chet?

173
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,386
- Chet kaminski?!
- Yep.

174
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,680
You're all grown up.

175
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,726
Well, uh, you look pretty good, too.

176
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,228
Hate to rain on anybody's parade,
but, Cheryl,

177
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,439
you're not supposed to be here.

178
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:21,444
You died after you got branch-banged
by a demon tree about 30 years ago.

179
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,654
- I died?
- Yeah.

180
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,740
It was pretty horrific.

181
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,408
You don't remember any of that?

182
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,661
Seems like the kind of thing
somebody would remember.

183
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,956
Oh, wait.

184
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,710
Wait, I-I think... oh...

185
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,421
Oh, it's all coming back to me now.

186
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,977
Linda: Uh, Kelly...

187
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,147
- You need to see this.
- Man: Everybody got something?

188
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,524
Audry: Come here! Come on!

189
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,068
Ash Williams murdered
our sons and daughters,

190
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,987
- and now we make him pay!
- Crowd: Yeah!

191
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:09,450
- Anybody gets in your way, kill them!
- Crowd: Yeah!

192
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,993
Shit!

193
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,788
Ah! Get down!

194
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,004
- They're trying to kill us!
- You ever shoot a gun before?

195
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,108
What? We're not going to
try to kill them, are we?

196
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,175
Unfortunately no.

197
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,678
We just got to keep them at bay
as long as we can, okay?

198
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,012
- Read y?
- Yes!

199
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,859
Ash: Chet!

200
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,111
Ah!

201
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,864
Just you and me now, Chet.

202
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,036
I ...As his bride j“

203
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,958
I missed you, baby!

204
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,294
J“ I might like you better
if we slept together j“

205
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:06,007
- j“ I might like you better... j“
- oh, my baby's got a boo-boo.

206
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,468
- Uh, I don't have a... have a boo-boo.
- Oh, gee.

207
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,222
This doesn't feel
half as good as it used to.

208
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,661
J“ I might like you better
if we slept together... I

209
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,395
what else you got for me, big boy?

210
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,147
Noth...

211
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,583
- I-I don't have anything.
- Ooh.

212
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,526
What, there's nothing!

213
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,827
Sorry, sis, playtime's over.

214
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,412
Fine!

215
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:40,041
Then I'm going to make like a tree,
and fuck you!

216
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,667
Whoa!

217
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,052
You're still a lousy dancer!

218
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,806
You're still a bitch!

219
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,693
Deadite Cheryl: Ashy...

220
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,112
Want to play a game?

221
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,448
Come on, ashy.

222
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,450
It'll be fun.

223
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,285
Your game sucks ass, Cheryl.

224
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,492
Deadite Cheryl:
That's because you're still a loser.

225
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,456
Like you always were!

226
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,708
Oh, yeah?

227
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,045
Deadite Cheryl: Warm.

228
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,089
Warm.

229
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,883
Warmer.

230
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,302
Whoa!

231
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,929
Take it easy, man. Take it easy.

232
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,181
I-I never touched her, I swear.

233
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,975
I would never betray you like that.

234
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,285
Okay, fine.

235
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,811
Just stay here,
I'll deal with Cheryl.

236
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,355
Cool, um, I'll just, uh,
wait in your room.

237
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,983
Don1!
Don't go in there, it's not safe.

238
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,734
You stay here
and do a bunch of nothing.

239
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,946
Deadite Cheryl:
Come and get me, ash!

240
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,000
Ugh! Damn it!

241
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:07,128
We are eating a giant
shit sandwich right now.

242
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:11,382
Are you good down here for a minute
while I try and unfuck the situation?

243
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,509
I got it. Go.

244
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,890
- Where have you been?
- Shut up.

245
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,060
- Emery: Lay down your weapons!
- Family reunion. My sister, Cheryl.

246
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,230
- What?
- Yeah, I killed her decades ago.

247
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,517
Now she's back.
I got to find her, and kill her again.

248
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,484
Wait, she came back
but now you've lost her?

249
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,194
Focus up. We got to find Cheryl.

250
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,121
Hey, why don't you deal
with your dead sister

251
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,449
while I stop your inbred,
asshole neighbors

252
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,326
from busting in
and lynching you!

253
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,995
- Huh, hey.
- Emery: Ash!

254
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:44,624
Ruby, shit's gone so sideways
it's basically upside down.

255
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,209
Have you found the spell...

256
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,755
- What did you do to him?
- It's working.

257
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,093
- This is "working"?
- I've accelerated the process,

258
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,263
but we can't control
when the specific spell will manifest.

259
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,182
Bullshit, you can't.

260
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,267
Pablo, listen up.

261
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,436
You might be converging
with the book or whatever,

262
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,230
but you are still
a fucking ghost beater.

263
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,732
You call the shots,

264
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,318
not some glorified,
demonic romance novel.

265
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,363
- You hear me?
- Yeah.

266
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,783
I said, do you hear me?

267
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,161
I got this.

268
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,622
There's my powerful vagina.

269
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,542
What do we do
when the spell appears?

270
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,462
Put this back on him.
It'll halt any further convergence.

271
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,965
Pablo, quit fucking around.

272
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,135
Find the spell we need
to send this asshole home.

273
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,357
It's coming.

274
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,591
Deadite Cheryl: Ooh, found me!

275
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,760
I don't want to play with that!

276
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,473
I want to play with this!

277
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:34,168
It worked.
Now we have the spell to defeat baal.

278
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:35,878
- Oh!
- What's wrong?

279
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:39,465
It's an old wound.

280
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,675
All right, well, do your voodoo,
and heal yourself.

281
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,887
- I don't do that anymore.
- What are talking about, Ruby?

282
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,389
Wolverine that shit back together.
We don't have time.

283
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,892
I mean I can't.

284
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,563
My children stole my immortality.

285
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:57,566
Don't look at me like that.
I don't want your sympathy.

286
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,988
Deadite Cheryl: Come on, ash!
We got to brush those teeth!

287
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,045
Oh!

288
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:20,714
Chet, you idiot.
I told you to wait upstairs.

289
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:23,008
Chill, I'm just looking for a beer.

290
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,428
Oh, relax! Just want one.

291
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,097
You can pound the other five.

292
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,099
- Oh!
- You're going to have to go through him

293
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,602
- to get to me.
- No way.

294
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:36,939
Throughout everything,
Chet is the only friend of mine

295
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,983
- who always stood by me.
- Oh.

296
00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:41,610
Never lied to me,
never let me down,

297
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,029
never, ever, betrayed me.

298
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,407
Uh, ash,
I should probably tell you...

299
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:50,369
- It's okay, pal. Me, too.
- Aw, you guys!

300
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,788
So sweet!

301
00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:56,667
Too bad, 'cause if you
won't go through him...

302
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,419
I will!

303
00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:00,754
No, no! Chet!

304
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:03,215
Oh!

305
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:09,972
No!

306
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,768
Oh, no.

307
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,321
- Shit!
- You're next.

308
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:29,617
Woman: Oh, my god!

309
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,500
- I believe you've been looking for me.
- Woman: Shoot him!

310
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,267
Man: What are you waiting for?
Shoot him!

311
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,671
Let's get one thing straight, yo-yos,

312
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:45,424
I kill demons, not people.

313
00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:46,717
Bullshit!

314
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,887
Unless those people are demons
who look like people.

315
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:54,016
And then I kill people, but they're
not really people, they're demons.

316
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,493
You understand?

317
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,811
In a minute, I'll prove it.

318
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,163
- Man: Come on!
- Man

319
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,196
Yep, any minute now.

320
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:12,701
Man: What are we waiting for?
Just shoot him!

321
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:15,621
Hang in there.
It's going to be worth it.

322
00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:20,876
Man: It's moving.

323
00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:24,296
Chowderheads of elk grove,
meet my sister, Cheryl.

324
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:27,049
Cheryl, meet the chowderheads.

325
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,510
Woman: It can't be!
Man: No, no, she's dead!

326
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,387
Exactly. Hey, sis.

327
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,479
Wait for it...

328
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,794
Woman: She's still standing!

329
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:07,840
You can't stop us.

330
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:10,092
We'll kill you all.

331
00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:11,593
Oh, my god! She's a demon.

332
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,388
- Yep, told you so.
- Man: Do something!

333
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:17,391
- Woman: Oh, please, ash!
- Man: Help us!

334
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:19,918
Okay, let's show 'em what a hero does.

335
00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:25,024
Hey, Cheryl, remember the time
we played hide-and-seek?

336
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:28,003
I hid in the trunk of the car, and you
locked me in, wouldn't let me out?

337
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,570
Remember that?

338
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:32,156
So do I.

339
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:46,086
And that, elk grove,
is how you take care of business.

340
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:48,630
Well, Cheryl,
it's been fun catching up.

341
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,924
Sorry I got to kill you.

342
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:52,968
Again.

343
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,486
I hope we all
learned something today.

344
00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:15,157
Not again.

345
00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,751
- Ash, behind you!
- What's that?

346
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,304
So you're baal?

347
00:26:37,471 --> 00:26:40,474
Good,
because I'm carving you up next.

348
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:43,560
Shh.

349
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:49,817
Let's stop arguing.

350
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:54,905
Wouldn't it be much easier
to work together?

351
00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:10,462
Shh.

352
00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:14,925
J“ they're coming
to take me away, ha-ha .i'

353
00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:17,052
j“ they're coming to
take me away, ho-ho j“

354
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:19,263
j“ hee-hee, ha-ha,
to the funny farm j'

355
00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:21,682
j“ where life is beautiful
all the time j“

356
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:25,394
j“ and I'll be happy to see those nice
young men in their clean, white coats j“

357
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:28,897
j“ and they're coming
to take me away, ha-ha .i'

358
00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:32,192
j“ you thought it was a joke I

359
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,986
j“ and so you laughed,
you laughed I

360
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:37,781
j“ when I had said that losing you
would make me flip my lid j”

361
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,283
.r right? R

362
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:41,702
j“ you know you laughed,
I heard you laugh j“

363
00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:44,580
j“ you laughed, you laughed,
and laughed, and then you left j“

364
00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:47,166
j“ but now you know
I'm utterly mad j“

365
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,794
j“ and they're coming
to take me away, ha-ha .i'

366
00:27:50,961 --> 00:27:52,963
j“ they're coming to
take me away, ho-ho j“

367
00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:55,215
j“ hee-hee, ha-ha,
to the happy home j“

368
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:57,426
j“ with trees and flowers
and chirping birds I

369
00:27:57,593 --> 00:27:59,428
j“ and basket weavers,
who sit and smile j“

370
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:01,263
j“ and twiddle their thumbs and toes I

371
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:04,850
j“ and they're coming
to take me away, ha-ha .i'

372
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:12,524
created by: A. Vandelay
post haste digital