1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,199 This programme contains some strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,119 The Met have been after 3 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,479 a London drug dealer known as The Dean for years, 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,559 yet I've just arrested him with ten kilos of cocaine in his boot. 5 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,519 I think you put the cocaine in his car. 6 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,319 When are we supposed to have done this? 7 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,919 How about a donation for my bucket? 8 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,520 How would you even go about planting drugs in a man's car? 9 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,279 I've been at the... ..community centre... 10 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,760 ..all day. You never let them out of your sight? 11 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,679 No, ma'am. 12 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,759 We're suing you for wrongful dismissal, breach of contract 13 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,359 and workplace bullying. 14 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,039 I'm middle-aged, divorced and unemployed, 15 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,119 but I think you're terrific 16 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,680 and I wondered if you'd like to grab a bite to eat sometime. 17 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:46,319 You can't park here unless you have a disability. I do. 18 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,719 My girlfriend's a crippling bore. 19 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,480 Oh, charming! Wait... 20 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:26,600 Come back to bed. 21 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,559 Uh, yeah, I... I'd love to, but I have to... 22 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:31,720 I have to go out. 23 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,999 When are you coming back? I'm not sure. 24 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,999 Hmm, mysterious. 25 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,320 Well, can I see you again? I had fun tonight. 26 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,839 Yeah... Yeah? Great. 27 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,800 Well, let me get my phone and we can swap deets. 28 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,240 Can you just... just pull over here? 29 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,719 Some people think Community Payback 30 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,159 is an easy option, a soft touch. 31 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,199 Yeah, everyone. Well, it ain't! 32 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,279 This lot may look innocent enough, 33 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,799 but never forget you are dealing with hardened criminals. 34 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,799 Why do they hate me?! 35 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,599 It's like they know I had a bacon roll for breakfast! 36 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,719 Never show weakness. 37 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,799 These offenders will eat you alive, unless, like me, you're tough 38 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,279 and you've earned their respect. 39 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,919 You're like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. 40 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,879 I am exactly like Michelle Pfeiffer. 41 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,199 But I bet you look better in a PVC catsuit. 42 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,240 Inappropriate, but I'll allow it. 43 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,199 Listen up! 44 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,440 This is Stan. 45 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:33,239 Stan is a trainee community service supervisor. 46 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,239 Stan is a homosexual... 47 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,319 ..which does not matter. 48 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,919 Stan is also my protege... 49 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,879 ..which is the French word for "minion". 50 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,639 Isn't minion already a French word? 51 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,199 Do you want cinq more hours? Non. 52 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,079 Now, I want you to think of Stan as an extension of me 53 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,439 a second head growing out of my neck. 54 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,919 Now, I want you to treat this second head with respect. 55 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,039 As much respect as the first head? 56 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,119 No. So, how much respect? 57 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,399 About half. 58 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,239 The second head is definitely inferior to the first head. 59 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,479 I want you to blow this and say, "Back to work." 60 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,759 What, already? 61 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,239 God, this job moves quick. 62 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,319 I only got my first pair of smart shoes on Monday. 63 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,920 Welcome to the jungle. 64 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,439 You're going to need to work on that puff. 65 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,879 No. Can't call him a poof. That's homophobic. 66 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,759 No, puff. Work on that puff, 67 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,319 Like a whistle blowing. 68 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,039 Apparently, you can say... you can say queer again now. 69 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,239 That's come back. 70 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,799 I'm not risking it. 71 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,959 It's like in the '90s 72 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,479 when they said that Vietnam is now a holiday destination. 73 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:37,719 I thought, "Yeah. 74 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,960 "Wait and see on that one." 75 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,879 Back to work! 76 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,439 Now, you four, you are this close 77 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,959 to completing your hours, all right? 78 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,079 So, less attitude, more servitude. 79 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,320 Back to work! 80 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,799 Don't suppose you've got any blister plasters, do you? 81 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,519 These brogues are still pinching. 82 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,480 Suck it up. Pain is weakness leaving the body. 83 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,120 Hey! 84 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,360 I need your help. 85 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,680 Oh! 86 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,119 Is he dead? Yes! 87 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,279 We have to hide the body. 88 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,919 I'm sorry? "We"? 89 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,719 This isn't my car. People will be looking for it. 90 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,439 She means, why would we help you?! 91 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,839 Because you're all involved! 92 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:38,359 How?! We haven't seen you in six months! 93 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,399 Sorry, this might seem like an obvious question... 94 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,560 ..but why have you got a dead body?! 95 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,959 In this job, you need a sixth sense 96 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,959 for what's happening all around you. 97 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,200 These criminal types are always up to something... 98 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,720 ..and it's our responsibility to know what. 99 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,479 What've you got there? 100 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,119 Uh... hay. 101 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,079 What, it takes four of you to carry some hay? 102 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,399 How heavy is it? 103 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,839 You'd be fucking surprised. 104 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,240 Townies! Hurry up, then. 105 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:22,280 See, what I did there was wave my authority dick in their face. 106 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,359 What are you writing down? Your words of wisdom. 107 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,120 Oh. What have you got so far? 108 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,799 "Crime costs, and here's your invoice." 109 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,839 "Napoleon said, 'Rule with an iron fist in a velvet glove.' 110 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,439 "Wrong! Rule with an iron fist in an iron glove." 111 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,679 And, "Bring your own bog roll 112 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:42,080 "cos these bastards'll steal anything." Hmm! Good advice. 113 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,800 WOMAN: Police! Open up! 114 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,559 Well, this is a nice surprise. 115 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,519 Does this mean I have a shot at another date? 116 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,879 Maybe I'm just here to order some jerk chicken? 117 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,559 What, at eight in the morning? 118 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,519 Heart wants what it wants. 119 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,439 So... how about tonight? 120 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,439 Yeah, I'm going to have to check my diary. 121 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,559 Hmm. But... 122 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,439 ..it's looking good. 123 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,199 Yes! 124 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,520 Looking very good! 125 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,359 I'll see you tonight. 126 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,800 See you later. 127 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:58,280 No to illegal deportations! 128 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,639 Right, everybody off, please. 129 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,479 ♪ We shall not... 130 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,679 ♪ We shall not be moved! 131 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,919 ♪ We shall not We shall not be moved 132 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,559 ♪ Just like a tree that's planted by the water 133 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,480 ♪ We shall not be moved! ♪ 134 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,039 I'm heavier than I look, aren't I? 135 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,600 Like a futon. 136 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,640 Myrna? 137 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,599 Sean? 138 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,119 You haven't changed! 139 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,319 You have! 140 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,759 You OK? 141 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,880 Yeah. Yeah. Last time I pay for speedy boarding! 142 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,639 I thought that you and your wife lived in Toronto. We're divorced. 143 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,719 I'm going to be back in Bristol for a week, 144 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,559 doing a guest lecture at our old university shilling my new book. 145 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,159 Yeah. I read your last one. 146 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,679 I liked it. 147 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,559 Would you like to go for a drink before I leave? 148 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,959 Uh... No. No. 149 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,919 I'm really busy all the time. 150 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,599 Well, if you get a free moment, 151 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,519 here's my number. 152 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,759 So glad I ran into you. 153 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,159 Who says activism achieves nothing? 154 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,680 Here's hoping to see you soon. 155 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,599 The boundary wall does encroach five yards further into 156 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,319 Mr Cowan's property than you and your wife first in... 157 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,439 Ah, yes! ..dic... ated. 158 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,919 Oh, that's so good! 159 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,399 Um, now taking this to the courts would be time-consuming. 160 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,159 It's expen... 161 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,439 ..sive... 162 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,639 ..but what I can recommend is contacting the Land Registry... 163 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,360 Can you give me one second to discuss something with my paralegal? 164 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,119 Yes! 165 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,519 Gabby, please! 166 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,239 This is supposed to be a business hub, not Pornhub. 167 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,679 Oh! 168 00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:00,040 We agreed, silent scissoring only between nine and five. 169 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,559 Don't worry. Greg always pops out at midday for a Boots meal deal. 170 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,279 Now, that is sexy talk. Do you want to hear the full order? 171 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,119 Mm-hm. One... large... 172 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,639 ..steak bake... 173 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,040 Ooh, mama... 174 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,479 ..a bottle of strawberry Yop. 175 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,839 Mmm! 176 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,999 Some... 177 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,679 ..ridged McCoy's... 178 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,279 Mmm, ridged... 179 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,159 ..and a KitKat. 180 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,239 Yeah? How many fingers? 181 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,760 Four. 182 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,759 I need legal advice. 183 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,319 Are you listening to whale music? 184 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,439 It's Gabby and her new lady friend. 185 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,999 They seem to be taking part in some kind of sex marathon. 186 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,759 I can't believe they haven't cramped up. 187 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,359 And God knows what state their nipples are in. 188 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,239 I'm just glad I didn't sponsor 'em. 189 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,319 Hey, you know that airport protest I was telling you about? 190 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,919 Yeah. It worked! 191 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,359 I got arrested! And I'm trying to resolve a particularly heated 192 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,719 hedge dispute, so we're all busy. 193 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,919 Oh, no, this is a work question, Greg. 194 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,319 No. It's only a work question if you pay me, Myrna. 195 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,799 I've ploughed all of my money into the anti-deportation campaign. 196 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:21,999 This'll have to be pro bono. 197 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,919 I can't afford to dole out free legal advice! 198 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,039 Oh, come on. Would you like to get sent to a hotel in Rwanda? 199 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,880 Yeah. I bet it's quieter. 200 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,199 Great, they've moved from acoustic to electric. 201 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,480 It's like this 24/7. 202 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,119 Oh! 203 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,799 Did you take the batteries out of the remote? 204 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,199 I'll put them back when we're done. 205 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,559 Hi, darling. Mwah! 206 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,359 Mrs Cosgrove next door complained about the noise. 207 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,159 She was watching This Morning and couldn't hear 208 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,319 Alison Hammond laughing. And that's saying something. 209 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,039 You look flushed. What's going on? 210 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,839 Nothing. I'm menopausal. 211 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,320 No. It's something else. 212 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,519 Oh, my God, you've met someone. 213 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,599 OK. That is incredible. 214 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,319 Oh, tell me everything! 215 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,399 Sean. An old flame from way back in the day. 216 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,679 We bumped into each other at the airport. 217 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,719 When are you meeting him? Oh, I'm not meeting him. 218 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,279 I'm just telling you cos of the mad coincidence of it all. 219 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,359 No, but why wouldn't you go and give yourself a chance at happiness? 220 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,399 Because, unlike you two, I don't believe that being 221 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,039 coupled up is the answer to life's problems. 222 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,279 My girlfriend says that as single people 223 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,599 we weren't human beings, we were human doings. 224 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,240 You're dating a fridge magnet? 225 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,959 You don't have to marry this guy. Why don't you 226 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,919 just meet him for a drink and see what happens? 227 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,559 I'm not going. 228 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:40,079 Myrna, I know you're scared, but... I'm not scared. 229 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,719 You can't jump out of a plane without jumping out of a plane. 230 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,719 I have... done massive cocaine deals 231 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,239 and been chased by gangsters with knives. 232 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,399 I'm not scared of anything! 233 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,799 So why aren't you going? 234 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:51,920 Because I'm... 235 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,519 ..I'm busy. 236 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,760 Fine. 237 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,839 But, um... 238 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,999 ..for the sake of argument, if I was scared... 239 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,759 ..how would I deal with that? 240 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,879 Well, step one, we call him. 241 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,040 Come on, give me his number. 242 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,720 Come on, now. 243 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,799 I want you to act like you've 244 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,599 just had six glasses of Chablis in the bath. 245 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,039 Depressed? No. Mellow. 246 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,399 And no politics! 247 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,719 Why would I pretend to be somebody that I'm not? 248 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,599 When dating, we pretend because we are horny. 249 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,799 Hmm? Oh. 250 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,760 Chablis in the bath. 251 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:40,439 Hello? Hi, Sean, this is Myrna. 252 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,399 I just drank a bottle of Chablis in the bath, 253 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,039 and not because I'm suicidal. 254 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,079 Good to know. Um, so... 255 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,279 ..I was thinking that, um, that drink, 256 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,199 I think that that would be... 257 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,319 ..mellow... dude. 258 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,639 Great. 259 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:57,919 Is our old pub still there? 260 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,999 Yeah, but they've gentrified the shit out of it 261 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,919 cos the Tories gave tax breaks to the rich... 262 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,040 Uh... 263 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,920 But the point is... 264 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,719 ..it's nice. 265 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,119 8pm? Great. 266 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,439 And, Myrna, I'm glad you called. 267 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,479 I'm looking forward to it. 268 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,640 Me too. 269 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,399 I won't be pressured into sex! 270 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,239 Not looking forward to it as well". 271 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,879 Oh! Me too. 272 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,439 I'm looking forward to it as well. 273 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,039 Yay! 274 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,879 Now, what do we wear? 275 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,479 This. 276 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:37,480 Darling, you're dressing for a date, not selling kombucha at Glastonbury. 277 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,280 And a deep breath out. 278 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,960 Feel yourself shifting into a calmer energy state. 279 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,039 Let your breath ground you 280 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,039 and repeat with me, 281 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,359 I am blooming as a flower... 282 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,480 ..and float through stress like petals in the wind. 283 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,200 ..through stress like petals in the wind. 284 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,840 Oh, right, then. 285 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,800 Derek? Yes, mate. 286 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,519 Do you have a preferred route? 287 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,199 No. OK. 288 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,959 I think we'll take the, er, A432 up through Fish Ponds. 289 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,199 Google Maps'll tell you that's seven minutes slower, 290 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,559 but it'll also tell you to take the M32, 291 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,679 even though it's down to one lane, 292 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,279 so good luck getting past Frenchay Hospital 293 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,600 at rush hour, hey? 294 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,839 There's a recent copy of GQ in the back there. 295 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,440 Nice little interview with James McAvoy. 296 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,839 Got Smints if you need them, winter fresh and spearmint. 297 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,799 If you need a charge cable, I have lightning, micro USB 298 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,479 and USB-C. 299 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:01,079 Er, and there's some bottled water in the door gully. 300 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,559 And not the cheap bottles that you get from the corner shop. 301 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,639 You know, the ones that are all too thin and squishy 302 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,559 and it sort of squashes when you try and open it? 303 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,359 You end up splashing it everywhere 304 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,760 and now you've got water in your lap before your big presentation. 305 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,200 All right, message received, friend. 306 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,799 Oh, yes. Oh, yes, 307 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,479 Now, this... 308 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,279 This is the look. 309 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,879 But I can't walk. 310 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,959 I need to be able to walk, don't I? 311 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,439 Well, you'll get a cab to the restaurant. 312 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,159 And, remember, keep it light, keep it frothy, 313 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,439 laugh at everything he says, play with your earrings a little. 314 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,119 And needless to say, eat nothing. 315 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,959 I'm starving! 316 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,679 Oh, darling, you eat before you go. 317 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,560 Restaurants are no place for eating. 318 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,360 Hey. 319 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,680 Do you want to see the menu? 320 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,959 I'm hungry. 321 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,199 Are you hungry? 322 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,080 No. I just had a baked potato. 323 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,079 So, this is special, innit? 324 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,360 It is really special. I can't tell you how I love this... 325 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,239 I must just take this off. 326 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,719 I've been dying to do this. 327 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,319 All these holes here 328 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,079 tell a story to do with lots of 329 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,439 transformations that this clock's had. 330 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,239 The holes say something else 331 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,039 was there before? Yeah, it's like a house. 332 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,599 You wouldn't expect a house to stay the same... 333 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,439 Would you like another cheese and pickle sandwich? 334 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,520 I would, actually. That'd be great. Thanks very much. 335 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,279 New windows, it would have... 336 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,199 Oh, you know when you were swimming at the lido earlier 337 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,079 and I left you a few messages about being careful? 338 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,079 Eight messages. Eight messages, yeah. 339 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,239 Well, the reason is, 340 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,239 I realised that if you were to slip in the changing rooms 341 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,559 and crack your head open, I don't know your blood type. 342 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,599 Neither do I. 343 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,120 Put that knife down! 344 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,679 Right, I'll make the sandwiches, 345 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,159 you make a doctor's appointment immediately. 346 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,120 Oh, that was a lucky escape, love. 347 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,359 Ali went into psychology, like me. 348 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:23,079 Connor wants to be a drummer or a professional Hacky Sacker. 349 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,320 We're still negotiating. 350 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,719 What about you? Any kids? No. 351 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,559 I wanted to change the world... 352 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,559 Not nappies. I remember. 353 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,280 Do you regret it? Not having children? 354 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,160 I regret a lot of things. 355 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,959 I regret... 356 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,479 ..being thrown out of Live Aid for protesting. 357 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,999 About the whole white saviour complex? 358 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,719 No, cos Phil Collins got way more time than Sade. 359 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,599 Well, to hell with regret. 360 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,840 To... second chances. 361 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,120 To second chances. 362 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,839 Shall we get more wine? 363 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,280 Well, actually, I have to get going. 364 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,399 I've got a tutorial tomorrow morning at 9am, 365 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,999 and if I don't get eight hours' sleep I have to take a week off. 366 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,080 Right. 367 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,520 OK. 368 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,319 Now, as you know, I don't keep secrets from you guys, 369 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,359 so this is just a little update on my mental and physical health. 370 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,479 I'm still in Alcoholics Anonymous, 371 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,759 Narcotics Anonymous 372 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,079 and anger management. 373 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,520 I know, I am more damaged than a Yodel parcel. 374 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,559 But on the physical side, I did have a little scare recently. 375 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,199 Couple of months ago, I was getting these really heavy periods! 376 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,799 And I mean loads of blood. 377 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,119 It was like that bit in The Shining. 378 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,519 And my gyno discovers these growths on my womb 379 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,359 called uterine polyps. 380 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,759 Now, nothing cancerous, 381 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,039 but I did have to have them removed just in case. 382 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,999 The operation was fine. 383 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,239 Worst bit... 384 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,239 ..no sex for six weeks! 385 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,919 Those were the days. 386 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,639 Now, thankfully, that healing period has just ended 387 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,439 and my flatmate Greg can confirm 388 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,879 my sex life is back to normal. Right? 389 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,119 So I've heard. 390 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,759 I am hornier than a Viking's hat! 391 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,839 And you know how horny I was before! 392 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:23,599 But, guys, get yourselves checked out regularly downstairs, OK? 393 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,319 I don't care if you've got a fanny, balls, both, neither. 394 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,640 You just make sure you have a good rummage around for Auntie Gabby. 395 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,079 Oh, babe, someone's calling you. 396 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,360 Oh. 397 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,559 Spare no detail. 398 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,519 He says he has to leave because of work. 399 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,799 What does that mean?! 400 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,919 He has to leave because of work. 401 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,079 He's making an excuse! 402 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,999 I put myself out there and now look what bloody happens. 403 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,280 Did you have a good time? 404 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,199 I thought we did. Even if it doesn't work out this time, 405 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,839 you are back on the horse! 406 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,240 I should never have agreed to this! 407 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,239 Oh. Hi, Ruth. 408 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,599 Myrna. 409 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,399 This is, er, Sean, my, er... 410 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,679 ..my friend. 411 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,559 John Halloran's wife. 412 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,799 From Community Payback. 413 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,119 Nice to meet you. And you. 414 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,480 Tell John I hope he's well. 415 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,079 What are you doing? 416 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:49,679 I was... 417 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:50,960 I was going to kiss you. 418 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,600 I thought you had to go. 419 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,080 I don't want to have any regrets. 420 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,440 Neither do I. 421 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,759 Hey, can I ask you a question? 422 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,039 It's my daughter's birthday in a few days. 423 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,719 What would you buy a teenage girl? 424 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,719 She loves, er... She loves horses. 425 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,359 She loves rolling her eyes. 426 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,079 You should get her a dad 427 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,760 who just shuts the fuck up and drives. 428 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,599 I am blooming as a flower 429 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,960 and float through stress like petals in the wind... 430 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,519 I am blooming as a flower 431 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,319 and float through stress like petals in the wind. 432 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,999 I am blooming as a flower 433 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,999 and float through stress like petals in the wind. 434 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,999 Oh, um, Gabby got him into Gwyneth Paltrow's 435 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,519 favourite mindfulness app. 436 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,279 Yeah, he's just connecting his mind to his vagina. 437 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,599 Now what? 438 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,680 Now we bury him. 439 00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,919 On the farm? 440 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,999 No, I just brought him here to see the pigs. 441 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,000 I have a question - who exactly would we be burying? 442 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,399 You seem... anxious. 443 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,200 Oh, do I, now? 444 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,039 I really hope you put those 445 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,679 marvellous powers of perception to use in court. 446 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,439 Don't you, Smiler? 447 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,119 Of course I'm anxious! 448 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,839 I'm on trial in three days 449 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,439 and the prosecution's key witness is still breathing! 450 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,399 What happened, Smiler? I told you to deal with it. 451 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,239 They got him stashed somewhere. 452 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,199 I'm trying to triangulate that shit. 453 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,480 As your lawyer, I must advise against triangulating any shit. 454 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:49,759 And what's your plan, 455 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,999 aside from shafting me for 500 quid an hour? 456 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,399 As we agreed, I discredit him in the witness box, 457 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,519 along with the entire police case. 458 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,799 And the girl, Smiler? Did you find her? 459 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,279 She's been bouncing around, but I've a lead she's in London. 460 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,959 What do you want me to do? 461 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,119 As your lawyer, once again, 462 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,720 I must advise against violence. 463 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,959 I was framed 464 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,520 by a small-time dealer and a schoolgirl! 465 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,159 Either their heads roll or mine will. 466 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,599 If the bodies start piling up, every finger points at you. 467 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,919 Do what you have to do, but after the trial. 468 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,599 After the trial, Mr Lawyer, I'll be in fucking prison! 469 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,999 You're not going to prison. 470 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,680 That's why you pay me 500 quid an hour. 471 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,159 What do you want me to do, boss? 472 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,920 I want you to triangulate shit. That's what I want! 473 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,959 I want to know the whereabouts of Christian Taylor 474 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,400 and Rani Rekowski. 475 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:04,399 DS Selforth. You know Rhona Weaver from the CPS? 476 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,519 She's leading the team prosecuting The Dean. 477 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:07,999 Go ahead. 478 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,719 From the requests I've been getting, 479 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,279 I'm certain The Dean's defence will be that he was fitted up. 480 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,879 For God's sake. By who? 481 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,639 Lucy Haines. 482 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,999 The three Ps of police work 483 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,559 are persistence, 484 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,439 persistence and... 485 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,480 ..persistence. 486 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,799 That's brilliant! 487 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,359 It's an old joke, but it's true. 488 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:32,199 Now, we arrested this man thanks to persistence 489 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,599 and the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act, 490 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,159 which means...? 491 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,519 Diane? 492 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,239 You spied on him. 493 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,319 We call it surveillance. 494 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,999 No, yeah, I know that. 495 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,920 I was just dumbing it down for this lot. 496 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:49,359 Over 18 months, email intercepts, undercover operatives 497 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:53,119 and bugs planted in his warehouse helped us build a watertight case. 498 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:56,400 Now, who else do we target using RIPA legislation? 499 00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,600 Anyone other than Diane? 500 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,639 Sophie, we haven't heard from you today. 501 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,279 She don't know. 502 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,999 Anyone at all? 503 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,759 Come on, guys, we covered this last week. 504 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,120 Charles in the back? 505 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,399 I guess Diane, then. Who does RIPA target? 506 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,200 Fraudsters. Terrorists. Paedos. 507 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,719 Correct. 508 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:21,760 Have it! 509 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,519 Do you trust her? 510 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,039 It's an office joke how straight Lucy is. 511 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,559 She made us show a receipt for her birthday cake. 512 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,039 And the candles. 513 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,479 Be that as it may, our end has to appear Daz white, 514 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,999 which is why I'm bringing in the Counter Corruption Unit. 515 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,319 Oh, can't we keep this in-house? 516 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,559 It won't look good enough to a jury. 517 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,480 Rhona, personal favour... 518 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,799 ..just give us a few days, 519 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,480 just so we can see what's going on here ourselves. 520 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,040 48 hours. 521 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,759 Sergeant Haines, with the exam fast approaching, can I ask, 522 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,279 will there be anything on those lights 523 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,999 that show up fingerprints and jizz? 524 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,240 I can't tell you that. Can you give me a clue? 525 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,679 No, you can't give me a clue, 526 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,479 or you just gave me one but it was too subtle for me to notice? 527 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,399 If I want to be a police detective, 528 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,519 I need to be able to spot my own clues! 529 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,959 Roger that, ma'am. 530 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,119 So, wondered if you fancied going for a drink with me? 531 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,639 Obviously not in a lesbian way. 532 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,919 I'm a demon for the cock, as you know. 533 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,639 I have to get back to the office. 534 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,239 You going to crack open a bottle of whisky 535 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,159 and open up some cold cases? I don't drink. 536 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,839 No? I always had you pegged as a Cagney type. 537 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,079 A what? Cagney and Lacey. Police show from the '80s. 538 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,479 Cagney was a big drinker. 539 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:32,799 Lacey was more about family, 540 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,679 but still a bloody good detective, though. 541 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,719 We're a bit like Cagney and Lacey, aren't we? 542 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,239 Both great police, mutual respect for each other, 543 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,039 always bantering back and forth, usually while walking. 544 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:43,960 Goodnight, Diane. Night, ma'am. 545 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,280 Lucy is not bent. 546 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,679 You stood right there 547 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,399 while she said she wouldn't apologise for being ambitious, 548 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,039 that if she collared The Dean, then we'd all take a bow. 549 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,479 She had motive and opportunity. 550 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,319 Motive, maybe, but she never had opportunity. 551 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,439 I was with her the entire time, sir. 552 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,159 She never had a chance to plant a thing. 553 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,399 I respect your loyalty. 554 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:10,319 But I need you to double-check that Lucy is above board. 555 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,879 I'm not policing my partner, sir. 556 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,999 It's either that, or Counter Corruption march in, 557 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,279 and even when Lucy's found to be clean, 558 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,799 she has a stink on her for the rest of her career. 559 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,399 I'm asking you to do her a favour. 560 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:24,639 Is that an order? 561 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,240 If it makes you feel better. 562 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,439 You're a smart young woman, Rani. 563 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,279 So, I take it you realise 564 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,840 you and your friends are in a lot of trouble. 565 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,999 The Met have been after a London drug dealer 566 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,839 known as The Dean for years, 567 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,519 but could never pin anything on him, yet I've just arrested him 568 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,319 with ten kilos of cocaine in his boot. 569 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:53,959 How did I do that? 570 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,679 Knowing you, ma'am, it was by doing some bloody good police work. 571 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,239 Did you stop pulling over black men and start pulling over criminals? 572 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,079 Still using cassette tapes? 573 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,679 Where do you even buy them now? 574 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,639 I'd like my one phone call, please. 575 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,240 And it will be to a sex line, so I'll be needing some privacy. 576 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,959 You're saying, under caution, that you've had no dealings 577 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,839 with a drug dealer known as The Dean? 578 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,359 I'm saying that if I were a clever 579 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,479 and ambitious policewoman who'd just caught a major criminal 580 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,879 that the Met Police have been chasing for years... 581 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,399 ..I wouldn't question how it happened. 582 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:30,680 I'd take the win. 583 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,160 I wouldn't question how it happened. 584 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,279 I'd take the win. 585 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,599 Burning the midnight oil? 586 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,599 Somebody's looking for a raise! 587 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,999 What are you listening to? 588 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,799 Just checking a few things before we testify. 589 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:52,000 Anything I can help with? 590 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,279 All set. Thanks. 591 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,799 So, how was tonight's lecture? 592 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:00,079 Instructive. 593 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,560 You should come sometime. You might learn something. 594 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,159 Yo, you're calling Christian Taylor 595 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,640 but I can't chat, so leave your deets and I'll holla back. 596 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,240 Thanks, love. 597 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:33,959 Hello? 598 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:35,240 Is this Rani? 599 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,360 Shit... 600 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,159 Stride in... to out, yeah? 601 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,839 In to out. Kind of push through it. 602 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,039 Push through what? What am I pushing through? 603 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,640 Push your stride! 604 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:00,999 Do you know what? I think I need a break. 605 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,200 That's probably a good idea. 606 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,800 You did good, though. No. 607 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,919 I must've looked like such an idiot. 608 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,919 Nah, you... 609 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,919 You look cute. Mm. 610 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,559 I'd rather look... tough. 611 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,199 Don't think you can look tough on roller skates. Mm. 612 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,480 It's like being a gangster florist. 613 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,719 You know you've a better chance of impressing me with your cooking? 614 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,079 How's about I... cook you breakfast sometime? 615 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:32,839 That's very forward. 616 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,399 I mean, you could come over 617 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,119 at breakfast time sometime. 618 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:39,360 Mm-hm. 619 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,079 Do you know what? 620 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,439 On that note, I'm... I'm going to go. 621 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,239 I'm going to practise. You got this. 622 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,519 Yeah? Yeah. 623 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:48,999 Was that a push through? In to out. 624 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,479 In to out. In to out. 625 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:52,679 In to out. 626 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,200 Here we go. All right, I'm doing it! 627 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,319 Ben's phone. 628 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:09,400 Who is this? 629 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,199 Tori. Who's this? 630 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,839 Is Ben there? 631 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,519 Er, he'll be back in a minute. 632 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:16,919 I don't have a minute. 633 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,759 Can I take a message? 634 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:19,919 Tell him Rani called. 635 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,960 I have to deal with a loose end and I need to speak to him. 636 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,760 Are you OK? Yeah. 637 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,320 Shock to the system, that's all. 638 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,880 A good shock? 639 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,240 Happy tears. 640 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,120 Don't do the menopause, that's all, Sean. 641 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,560 I promise nothing. 642 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,639 So, you going to come round for breakfast sometime? 643 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:44,880 Yeah, I will. 644 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,119 Any allergies? Ibuprofen. 645 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:52,240 Well, I promise not to season our omelettes with Nurofen. 646 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,880 Much appreciated. 647 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:56,960 Goodnight. 648 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,799 For you. I thank you. 649 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,559 Hmm. We'll get you there. 650 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,440 Hmm. One day. 651 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,640 I'm sorry, I... 652 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,559 I forgot. Um, your phone rang... 653 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:14,800 ..and I answered. 654 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,719 It was someone called Rani. 655 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,359 What did she want? 656 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,479 Something about dealing with a loose end. 657 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,080 She said she needed to speak to you. 658 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,640 Rani's my ex. 659 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,959 And I don't need to speak to her. 660 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,120 Not ever. 661 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:50,880 What was that for? 662 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,120 Being so honest. 663 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:57,839 Do you... 664 00:36:57,840 --> 00:36:59,360 ..want to come in? 665 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,759 Yeah. Yeah? 666 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,280 Yeah. Yeah, I do! 667 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,240 Who's Tori? 668 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,199 What? I called you last night and someone called Tori picked up. 669 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,599 She's a girl that I'm seeing. 670 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:23,759 For how long? 671 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,719 That's none of your business. How did you meet? 672 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:27,879 She works at a hotel across the road from my cafe. 673 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,039 Oh, right. OK. 674 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,039 What? No, go on! Did she pass on my message? Yeah. 675 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,839 So why didn't you reply to me?! 676 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,199 Because I haven't heard from you for the past six months! 677 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,999 What was I supposed to do? Hmm? 678 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,599 Just drop everything because you ring? 679 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,439 You left him on a train and broke his heart! He was humiliated. 680 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,079 Exactly! Yeah. 681 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,079 Wait, what? Huh? 682 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,039 How do you... know? 683 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,199 Myrna told me. What...? 684 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,319 Myrna, how do you...? I heard it from John. 685 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,519 How do you know, John? 686 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:55,959 It's common knowledge, isn't it? 687 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,879 No, It's not. I haven't told anyone. Have you? 688 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:01,119 No. I heard the driver felt so sorry for you, 689 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,319 he let you have a go on the horn. That's not true. 690 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,319 I heard a little girl gave you her comfort blanket. 691 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,639 Well, that never happened. 692 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:07,999 I heard you were so fragile, 693 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,399 an old lady had to help YOU off the train. 694 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,079 That never happened! OK? 695 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:15,319 Look, can we just focus on the real issue here, which is... 696 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,719 ..what happened to him last night?! 697 00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:20,319 After I left Ben on the train, 698 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,559 I stole a car. 699 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,279 You stole a car? 700 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,719 I drove it to London, dumped it. 701 00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:29,439 And with my cut of the money, I moved into a hotel. 702 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,679 I spent my time shopping, I got some tatts. 703 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,520 You said you were scared of needles. 704 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,839 I hit up some art galleries, went to some gigs. 705 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,599 Oh, did you see the virtual reality ABBA show? 706 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,199 No. Oh, I think you missed out there. 707 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,159 I hear it's like they're in the room! Greg! 708 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,879 Not appropriate. 709 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,359 I was just living my best life. 710 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,879 And last night, I met this guy and brought him back 711 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,160 to my hotel room... 712 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,559 Wait, wait... 713 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,639 You brought a guy that you just met 714 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,840 back to your hotel? Yeah. He was hot. 715 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,679 Oh, shit. 716 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,159 Can you jump to the nitty-gritty? I think she already did. 717 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,040 The nitty-gritty of this! 718 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,839 Me and this guy worked up quite a thirst, 719 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,960 so I'm getting us a drink when there's a knock at the door. 720 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,119 Sh-sh-sh! 721 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,919 Sh. Sh-sh-sh. 722 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,519 Smiler says, "I know how you did it." 723 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:39,719 What? Did what? 724 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:41,800 "How you and your mates framed The Dean." 725 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:48,159 He tells me to meet him later that night, gives me an address. 726 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,920 And I go there early and watch him go inside. 727 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,400 I follow him in and find him just lying on the floor. 728 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,639 I'm checking to see if he's conscious... 729 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,000 ..and someone attacks me from behind. 730 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,000 And at some point, the attacker stabs Smiler with my knife. 731 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,359 Wait, wait, wait, wait! Your knife? 732 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,479 Yeah, a steak knife, I brought it from the hotel. 733 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:28,959 To a meeting? 734 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,359 Oh, yeah, I never leave for a meeting without keys, phone, 735 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:33,519 murder weapon! 736 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,119 It was for self-defence! 737 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,959 I didn't know what he was planning. 738 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,719 OK, so, this mystery man stabs Smiler. Then what? 739 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:42,120 Then I knock him out. 740 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,479 And I'm on my way out when Smiler calls out. 741 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,239 He's weak and he's wounded, but he manages to say... 742 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:52,840 Help me! 743 00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,559 I get him into his car, and he's just... 744 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,439 ..bleeding out in the back. 745 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,079 Like Tim Roth in Reservoir Dogs? 746 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,319 What's that? 747 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,279 You've never seen Reservoir Dogs and you missed ABBA Voyage? 748 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,640 How are you living your best life? Greg! 749 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:15,319 Smiler is directing me to this backstreet doctor he knows. 750 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,919 Which way? Keep going straight. OK. 751 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,839 Oh, man! 752 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,360 And I'm just driving like a maniac. 753 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:23,480 Where am I going? 754 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:25,560 And then I look back... 755 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:28,400 ..and he is gone. 756 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,239 Oh! 757 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,360 Why's this door locked? 758 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,320 Open this door! 759 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,640 What's going on? 760 00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:59,319 What's going on in here? 761 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:00,520 Yeah. 762 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,039 We're just consolidating the... chicken feed. 763 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,800 But why is the door locked? 764 00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,720 Cos pigs... they come in and... eat it. 765 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,400 I've said it before and I'll say it again. 766 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,000 I see... 767 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,320 ..everything. 768 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,039 All right? 769 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,479 So, less skiving in a shed, 770 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,400 more manure being spread. 771 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,000 Understand? 772 00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:43,240 Good. 773 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,080 And get that hay put away. 774 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,519 Why did Rani have to bring the body here? 775 00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:17,679 We were in the clear. 776 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,399 Now we're in Weekend At Bernie's! 777 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:20,799 What do you lot think of her story? 778 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,239 It's about as convincing as a Melania Trump orgasm. 779 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:26,159 You think she's capable of making all that up? 780 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,599 I think she is capable of anything. 781 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,439 But why would she kill Smiler? 782 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:31,959 When she called me last night, 783 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,439 she said she was "dealing with a loose end". 784 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,679 She killed Smiler because he knows what we did. 785 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:40,439 So, what are we saying? That... that Smiler's death was premeditated? 786 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,759 That Rani's a stone-cold psychopath now? 787 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,039 Maybe she always was. 788 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,799 What do you mean? 789 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,159 One minute she's a shoplifter, 790 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,879 next minute she's running a drug empire. 791 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,919 She threatened people with violence, 792 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,839 she walked out on her family, she walked out on you. 793 00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,479 To me, that is pretty cold behaviour. 794 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,479 You know how you can tell if someone's a psychopath? 795 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,319 If everybody yawns, but one person doesn't, that indicates 796 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,759 a lack of empathy, which is the mark of a psychopath. 797 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,640 Who told you that? Idris Elba. 798 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,239 In an episode of his hit show Luther. 799 00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:10,919 We're not mates. I wish. 800 00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,559 We need to get that body back in that car. 801 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,359 No, we just moved it from the car! 802 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,559 Why did we do that? Because Rani told us to. 803 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,279 Yes, but why? Why? 804 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,879 She knows we can't keep it here. 805 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,919 She's trying to incriminate us. 806 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,760 She wants our DNA all over the body so we won't go to the police. 807 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,000 Come on. Come on. 808 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,199 Do you know what the three Ps of policing are? 809 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,199 I feel like I do, yes. Yeah? What are they? 810 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:41,399 Police station. No. 811 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:42,439 Police dogs. No. 812 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,879 Police car. No. 813 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,079 Persistence, persistence, persistence. 814 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,039 That is genius! Did you make that up? Definitely. 815 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,319 You should write a book. 816 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,399 Yeah, already have. Self-published. 817 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,639 It's about how I changed my life around from bad girl to badass. 818 00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,119 What's the title? My Struggle. 819 00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,839 Isn't that what 'Mein Kampf' means? 820 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:03,079 Yeah, but I don't speak German, so how was I supposed to know? 821 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,520 Diane! Oh, DS Selforth. 822 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,039 You've met my new gay underling, Stanley? 823 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,439 Stanley, Detective Sergeant Selforth. Hi. 824 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,800 You're the first policeman I've met who's not a stripper. Ooh! 825 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,519 Diane, I need to ask you a few questions. 826 00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,320 Absolutely, sir. Just go that way. 827 00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:24,479 DS Selforth works with my best friend, Sergeant Lucy Haines. 828 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,399 She and I are a bit like Cagney and Lacey. 829 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,439 He's more like the original Cagney that was fired 830 00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:32,119 after season one. You know, solid, just not the same chemistry. 831 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,600 Who are Cagney and Lacey? 832 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,760 I've got so much to teach you. 833 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,000 What are you doing? 834 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,359 We're putting the body back to the car. 835 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:57,279 No. No, no, no, no. I told you, you can't. The car is hot. 836 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,160 Well, he can't stay here! 837 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,599 Having discovered the plastic egg, I suspected 838 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,119 that illicit drug activities were happening 839 00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:09,519 at the community centre. 840 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:13,359 Sergeant Haines concurred with my findings and deputised me, 841 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,519 so that I was her eyes and ears. 842 00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,079 She didn't have that authority. 843 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:20,839 Oh, well, it was an unauthorised deputization. 844 00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,239 But it still counts. Slay. 845 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:24,999 During the day of the grand opening, 846 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,199 was there any point when your offenders went unsupervised? 847 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,439 No, sir. 848 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,319 All day I was like a hawk... 849 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,959 ..crossed with an owl, cos my head was turning 360 degrees. 850 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,879 It's actually a misconception that owls' heads can turn 360 degrees. 851 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,599 Who are you? David Attenborough? 852 00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,479 You told Sergeant Haines that you never 853 00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,119 let the offenders out of your sight. 854 00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,359 No, sir. An ant did not wipe its arse without me knowing. 855 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:47,599 Brilliant! 856 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,359 You never took, say, a bathroom break? 857 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,679 Who told you that? 858 00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,240 Told me what? 859 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:55,799 Never mind. 860 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,360 Diane, it's imperative that you're totally frank with me. 861 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:01,999 Fine. 862 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,279 I was approached by one of the offenders, 863 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:06,679 Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe, and she... 864 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,279 You supervised Lady Gabby? 865 00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:10,519 Oh, my God, I love her TikTok! 866 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:14,079 I mean, her tips on anal bleaching literally saved my life. 867 00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,560 Yeah. She and me are like that. Oh! 868 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,920 But I do not fraternise with criminals. 869 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,439 Although we are close. Ah. 870 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,639 Mm. Just so I can keep an eye on her. 871 00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:26,719 The bathroom break? 872 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:29,959 Yeah. So, Lady Gabby approached me and informed me 873 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:33,639 that a temporary lavatory had been desecrated by vomit. 874 00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:38,079 Er, but I soon discovered that it was, in fact, soup, 875 00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:42,359 whereupon a malfunctioning door lock detained me inside... 876 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,519 ..briefly. 877 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:45,319 You got trapped in a Portaloo? 878 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:46,719 Briefly. 879 00:47:46,720 --> 00:47:49,039 After leaving the Portaloo, 880 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,040 I assume you did a head count? 881 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,279 Er... no. No? 882 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,119 Look, have you ever tried maintaining law and order 883 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,039 with minestrone sloshing round your gusset? 884 00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,479 Hmm? No, I have not. 885 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:01,879 Yeah. It ain't pretty. 886 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,519 I need to speak to your offenders. 887 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:04,759 I need to speak to the offenders. 888 00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:07,039 Er, is... is 'gusset' one S, two Ts? 889 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:08,640 Don't put that down! 890 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:29,879 Hey, guys! Oh, Gabby! 891 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:31,079 Oh, Jesus Christ. 892 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,439 Gather, gather, gather. 893 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,439 Gabby, what... what the fuck are you doing here? 894 00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,959 Well, I need some advice from my very dear friends. 895 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,919 Now, I had this message from a fan on Instagram. 896 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,279 She's a medical student and she'd seen my post, 897 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,919 about, you know, the polyps I had removed from my womb. Huh... 898 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,919 She said it's quite likely that the polyps will return, 899 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:51,839 so I went to the doctor this morning, 900 00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,439 and it turns out there's only a really small window 901 00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:58,159 in which my uterus can grow a foetus. Like, eight weeks. 902 00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:01,399 Now, my doctor didn't tell me this. So, what do I do? 903 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,959 What are you asking us, Gabby? 904 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,479 Well... Oi! Why are you here? 905 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,759 Diane! Oh, shit, they're onto us. 906 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,639 Oh, my God! I love you! 907 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:10,839 Oh, that's so sweet! 908 00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:12,239 I can't believe that you're here! 909 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:14,639 I mean, this is more exciting than when I saw Keira Knightley 910 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,319 in a Timpson's getting a key cut. 911 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,599 Can I get a selfie? Er, no, Stanley. Not appropriate. 912 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,079 You've already finished your hours. Go! 913 00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,439 OK. I need to talk to her. 914 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,080 Er, stay! All right. 915 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,799 When was the last time any of you saw Rani Rekowski? 916 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,119 Who? Rani? Wait, what's it? 917 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,039 Ask him. He and Rani lived together. 918 00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,879 Have you seen or spoken to her recently? 919 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,159 No, not for the past six months. 920 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:37,559 She dumped him on a train. 921 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,239 Is it true that the lady with the trolley 922 00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:40,479 gave you a free can of Boddingtons? 923 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,399 No! Oh. 924 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,519 It was a hot chocolate and a flapjack. 925 00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,799 Wait, Rani dumped you on a train? 926 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,759 Guys, why am I always the last to hear about everything? 927 00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,799 Why are you asking about Rani? 928 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,240 Police business. It's very important I find her. 929 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,079 Gabby! Er... 930 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,759 Um, will you please tell us about your uterus, please? 931 00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,759 Well, I had these polyps removed... 932 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:04,999 She mentioned this on TikTok! 933 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,599 And, basically, if I ever want to have a baby, 934 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,519 then I have to get pregnant in the next two months. 935 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,239 Oh, God, I knew those polyps were trouble! 936 00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:14,959 I know, right? You know I thought I'd have more time, to be honest. 937 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:18,239 So... what do I do? Should I have a baby? 938 00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:20,159 Yes! You think I should? 939 00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,839 Yeah, defo have that baby. 940 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,119 I mean, you'd be an amazing mum, because lately 941 00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:25,879 you've really turned an emotional corner. 942 00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:27,879 Do you think so? Just a bit! 943 00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,519 Oh, good, because I wasn't sure. 944 00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:32,919 Because, you know, I'm only six months sober, 945 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:36,999 I'm in a brand-new relationship and what kind of mother would I be? 946 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,439 You know, my own mother killed herself. 947 00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:40,959 Nice! 948 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,240 What? 949 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,999 Is any of this useful, sir? No. 950 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,599 You're dismissed. Oh, but, Diane... 951 00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:51,119 Do you want five more hours? No. 952 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,240 Everyone else, back to work. 953 00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:56,480 Good day, Diane. 954 00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:00,559 Did you ever witness any private meetings 955 00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,679 between Sergeant Haines and Rani Rekowski? 956 00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:03,799 Negative, sir. 957 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,959 Sir, what is this about? Can't say. 958 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,199 You know I'm a fully qualified PCSO now. I can help. 959 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,279 Yes, you can, by notifying me 960 00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,719 if you see or hear anything suspicious. 961 00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:14,799 Are you unofficially deputising me, sir? 962 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,479 No. Oh, OK. 963 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:19,359 I'm happy to surveil the offenders, un-deputised. 964 00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:20,559 Ta-ra. 965 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,799 Now you'll see how real police work is done. 966 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,279 By a real policeman. No, by me! 967 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,199 I can sniff out crime like... 968 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,719 Like puke in a Portaloo? No. A bloodhound. 969 00:51:29,720 --> 00:51:33,159 Let me tell you, the stench of crime is in the air, 970 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,840 and I'm like... A big Febreze? Yeah! 971 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,239 Hey! Make up your minds! Is that hay going in or out? 972 00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:42,919 - Going in. - In, I think... 973 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:44,959 Oi, go on, then! 974 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,120 Are you OK? They're useless, aren't they? 975 00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,479 All this moving of bodies... 976 00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,719 I'm exhausted! 977 00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:59,239 Me too. 978 00:51:59,240 --> 00:52:01,040 I'm plum tuckered out. 979 00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:17,040 Oh, yeah. Your ex is a total psycho! Mm-hm. 980 00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,879 You bought a motorbike. 981 00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:56,519 Yeah. 982 00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,320 I don't like trains. 983 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,040 Yeah... 984 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:15,320 Shit. 985 00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,319 I am blooming as a flower 986 00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:27,479 and float through stress like petals in the wind! 987 00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:30,279 This ground's rock-solid. We're never burying him here. 988 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:31,879 Have you got a better idea? 989 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:33,919 Could we feed him to some kind of animal? 990 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,679 Oh, yeah, very good. Let's just take him to the zoo, shall we, 991 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:37,959 throw him to the lions? 992 00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:39,679 I'll bring my kids, make a day of it. 993 00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,639 I can't believe we are burying a body for a murderer! 994 00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,839 I can. Rani was right. We're all involved. 995 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,399 Yeah, if the police find this body, 996 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:48,759 they'll dig up everything we've done. 997 00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,959 Wait! Aren't we supposed to cut off the hands and feet or something? 998 00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:53,959 What? No. Do we? 999 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,399 Hey, Google, how do you dispose of a corpse? 1000 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,359 Don't say that into your phone! No. 1001 00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,199 Yeah, come on. Let's just get this hole dug. 1002 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:02,439 Yeah. Feel free to join in! 1003 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:05,039 Oh, I can't dig. I did my back in. 1004 00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:06,359 How? 1005 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:07,880 Sex. 1006 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,599 With whom? An old flame. 1007 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,239 Sean. 1008 00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:14,839 Supposed to be our second date tonight. 1009 00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,599 Oh, well, thanks for cancelling... 1010 00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,520 ..so you could come down and do sod all. 1011 00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:21,840 Speaking of relationships... 1012 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,839 ..I ran into your wife in a pub. 1013 00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,679 I do let her out from time to time. 1014 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:29,719 Yeah, but she said something really strange. 1015 00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:33,160 She said, "Tell John I hope he's well." 1016 00:54:34,720 --> 00:54:36,959 Yeah, she can be quite formal, Ruth. 1017 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,839 Everything all right? Everything's great. 1018 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:41,999 Are you sure? Never surer. 1019 00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,279 Hi, love. I haven't spoken to you since lunchtime. 1020 00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,600 Just wondering what you had for din-dins. 1021 00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:50,640 Oh, all right. Call me back. 1022 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,240 It's your boyfriend. 1023 00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:55,400 Greg. 1024 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:57,840 Dillard. 1025 00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,079 What? I'm sorry, mate. 1026 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,480 My grave digging interrupting your love life? 1027 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,759 So, where are you going to go after this? 1028 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:19,840 Back to your mum and dad's? 1029 00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:23,759 No, I'm not going to drag them into this again. 1030 00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:25,999 No? OK. Er... 1031 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,359 ..hotel? 1032 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,719 No. I can't have my credit card showing up anywhere. 1033 00:55:29,720 --> 00:55:31,760 All right. So... so, where? 1034 00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,719 No. No. Oh, come on, please? 1035 00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:39,799 No, Rani, no! 1036 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,560 Just till I know no-one's looking for me. Please! 1037 00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,079 Fine. 1038 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,240 I don't deserve you!