1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:02,333
Do you think
2
00:00:02,366 --> 00:00:05,566
that the security guards
in the art museums
3
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:09,500
really ever stop anybody
from taking the paintings?
4
00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:11,500
I mean, are they going up to...
"Hey, hey, hey,
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,066
"where do you think
you're going with that?
6
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,500
"Hey, come over here.
Come over here.
7
00:00:14,533 --> 00:00:15,500
Give me that Cézanne."
8
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,966
I mean, look at the job
that this man is hired to do.
9
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,666
He's getting $5.00 an hour
10
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,500
to protect millions of dollars
of priceless art,
11
00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:26,500
with what?
12
00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,466
He's got
a light mocha brown uniform
13
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,000
and a USA Today.
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,500
and a USA Today.
15
00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:31,633
This is what he's got.
16
00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:33,633
I mean, crooks must
look at this guy and go,
17
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,200
"All right, all we've got to do
18
00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,400
"is get past the folding chair
and the thermos of coffee,
19
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:38,700
we can get a Rembrandt."
20
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:50,566
Kramer,
would you hold still?
21
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,666
I can't do this
if you keep moving.
22
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,033
You're sure you don't want me
to take my clothes off?
23
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,900
Because I'll do it.
24
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,533
No, that's the last thing
in the world
25
00:01:00,566 --> 00:01:01,966
I want you to do.
26
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,966
Well, why don't you
take your clothes off.
27
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,400
I don't know.
28
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,633
I don't think
Jerry would like that.
29
00:01:08,666 --> 00:01:10,165
Well, it'll be
our little secret.
30
00:01:10,165 --> 00:01:11,400
Well, it'll be
our little secret.
31
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:14,966
GEORGE: God!
32
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,966
[BANGING]
33
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,900
Aah!
34
00:01:17,933 --> 00:01:20,800
Button fly!
35
00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:23,633
Why do they put buttons
on a fly?
36
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,400
It takes 10 minutes
to get these things open!
37
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,833
I like the button fly.
38
00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:30,066
What?
39
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:31,566
That is one place
on my wardrobe
40
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,800
I do not need sharp,
interlocking metal teeth.
41
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:38,133
That's like a mink trap
down there.
42
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,165
I'm going to develop
kidney problems.
43
00:01:40,165 --> 00:01:40,300
I'm going to develop
kidney problems.
44
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,233
What are you doing today?
Nothing.
45
00:01:42,266 --> 00:01:43,733
I have to go meet Nina.
46
00:01:43,766 --> 00:01:45,366
You want to come
up to her loft,
47
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,633
check out her paintings?
48
00:01:46,666 --> 00:01:47,900
I don't get art.
49
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,633
There's nothing to get.
50
00:01:49,666 --> 00:01:51,700
No, it always has to be
explained to me,
51
00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:55,066
and then I have to have someone
explain the explanation.
52
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:56,466
She does a lot
of abstract stuff.
53
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,166
In fact, she's painting
Kramer right now.
54
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,300
What for?
55
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,366
She sees something in him.
56
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,700
Well, so do I,
57
00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:06,366
but I wouldn't
hang it on a wall.
58
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,233
Are you getting
the eyes?
59
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:10,165
Because they're brown.
60
00:02:10,165 --> 00:02:10,733
Because they're brown.
61
00:02:10,766 --> 00:02:12,566
Really, they're dark brown,
62
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,900
like rich Colombian coffee.
63
00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:19,066
Tell me about Elaine.
64
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,533
You know, she and Jerry
were a big thing,
65
00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:23,600
like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd.
66
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,066
But they're still friends.
67
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,566
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They're like this.
68
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,233
Don't you think that's strange?
69
00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:33,066
Why? What's the difference?
70
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:37,200
Well, are you still friends
with any of your ex-girlfriends?
71
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:40,033
Well, you know, I...
72
00:02:40,066 --> 00:02:40,165
I have many relationships.
73
00:02:40,165 --> 00:02:44,233
I have many relationships.
74
00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:45,900
I'll tell you,
I'm a little nervous.
75
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,200
Why?
76
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:50,033
You know, the friend
meeting the new woman.
77
00:02:50,066 --> 00:02:53,966
I feel like I'm getting
fixed up for a friendship.
78
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,066
I don't know how long
this is going to last.
79
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,400
Really?
Yeah.
80
00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,833
I thought
you liked her.
81
00:02:58,866 --> 00:03:01,333
I do, but she's got, like,
a jealousy thing.
82
00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:03,800
I mean, she doesn't like me
having fun with anyone but her.
83
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,433
You know, it's a miracle
you're not married.
84
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,800
Hey, I'm not obligated
to buy anything, am I?
85
00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:15,833
Hi, Nina.
86
00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:16,866
Hi.
87
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,233
This is my friend George.
88
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,466
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
89
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,033
I've heard a lot about you.
90
00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:22,933
Hey, look at this guy!
91
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:27,166
I brought George up
to see some of your paintings.
92
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,200
Oh. Are you
interested?
93
00:03:30,233 --> 00:03:33,033
Uh...
94
00:03:33,066 --> 00:03:35,066
Yeah, sure.
Sure, I'm interested.
95
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,600
George,
you going to buy a painting?
96
00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:39,533
Yeah, sure.
97
00:03:39,566 --> 00:03:40,165
Are you
an art lover?
98
00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:41,166
Are you
an art lover?
99
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,633
I'm an art adorer.
I adore art.
100
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:47,233
Great. Well, uh,
take a look around.
101
00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:50,233
Pick something out
you like.
102
00:03:50,266 --> 00:03:52,033
May I?
103
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:54,966
[LAUGHING]
Get out of here.
104
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,233
Here. Play with this.
105
00:03:56,266 --> 00:03:57,566
What's this?
106
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,566
My father gave me four tickets
to the Yankee game
107
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,366
for Saturday afternoon.
108
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,233
Owner's box,
first row behind the dugout.
109
00:04:05,266 --> 00:04:08,166
Oh, Saturday. I'm working.
I'm going out of town.
110
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,165
Oh. Well, I'm not going
to go without you.
111
00:04:10,165 --> 00:04:10,366
Oh. Well, I'm not going
to go without you.
112
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,533
Hey, you guys want them?
113
00:04:11,566 --> 00:04:13,166
Yeah.
114
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,833
They're right behind
the dugout, George,
115
00:04:14,866 --> 00:04:16,033
first row.
116
00:04:16,066 --> 00:04:17,700
Right behind the dugout?
Are you kidding?
117
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,000
How did you get them?
118
00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:21,033
Oh, my father's
the Yankees' accountant.
119
00:04:21,066 --> 00:04:22,633
It's the owner's box.
120
00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:23,800
All my life,
121
00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:25,400
I've dreamed
of sitting front row,
122
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,833
behind the dugout.
123
00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:29,600
You like that one?
124
00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:34,900
GEORGE:
Look at where we are!
125
00:04:34,933 --> 00:04:36,033
He's not stopping.
126
00:04:36,066 --> 00:04:38,666
He just keeps going
and going and going.
127
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,165
GEORGE: We're not
in the first row?
128
00:04:40,165 --> 00:04:40,800
GEORGE: We're not
in the first row?
129
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:42,200
USHER: No, no.
These are your seats.
130
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:45,033
She said first row,
right behind the dugout.
131
00:04:45,066 --> 00:04:47,033
Well, it's the second row.
It's just as good.
132
00:04:47,066 --> 00:04:48,633
I was all primed
for the first row.
133
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,633
I was going to put
my feet on the dugout.
134
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,633
Will you shut up?
135
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:52,900
These are...
These are great.
136
00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,566
You can't get
any better than this.
137
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,700
Oh, there's better.
138
00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:56,966
Right there.
That's better.
139
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,400
All right.
Oh, boy.
140
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:00,966
All right,
who wants a dog?
141
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,700
Yeah. Here you go.
142
00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,033
What a great day.
143
00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:05,333
I could have been
144
00:05:05,366 --> 00:05:07,000
at my boss' son's bris
right now.
145
00:05:07,033 --> 00:05:08,566
That's what you were
supposed to do today?
146
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,000
Yeah.
Huh.
147
00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:10,165
What makes him think
148
00:05:10,165 --> 00:05:11,166
What makes him think
149
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,700
anyone wants to witness
a circumcision?
150
00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:15,866
I'd rather go
to a hanging.
151
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:19,033
Is it that unattractive
to have to take it off?
152
00:05:19,066 --> 00:05:21,033
Have you ever seen one
with it?
153
00:05:21,066 --> 00:05:22,533
No.
154
00:05:22,566 --> 00:05:24,933
You wouldn't even know
what it was.
155
00:05:27,066 --> 00:05:29,033
Anyway, I called him back.
156
00:05:29,066 --> 00:05:30,500
I told him
157
00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:34,033
I had to go visit my father
in the hospital in Maryland.
158
00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:36,033
You better catch it
here, Charlie,
159
00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:38,500
because this ain't
Philadelphia!
160
00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:40,165
George?
Yeah?
161
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:40,666
George?
Yeah?
162
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,966
Hi. I'm Leonard West.
163
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,200
Nina's father.
164
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:45,633
Oh, hi, hi, Mr. West.
165
00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:47,300
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is my friend Elaine.
166
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:48,800
Hi.
167
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:51,366
Hey, .230 ain't going to
cut it in this town, babe!
168
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,700
Hee hee! Ha ha!
169
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,300
And this is Kramer.
170
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:56,000
Oh, hey,
how you doing?
171
00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:58,733
[APPLAUSE]
172
00:05:58,766 --> 00:06:01,400
Yes! Yes!
173
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,366
How are the seats, huh?
174
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,366
Uh, okay.
175
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,700
Great. They're great.
176
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,300
I hear you bought
one of Nina's paintings.
177
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,300
Yeah, it's, uh...
178
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,300
It's being framed
right now.
179
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,165
I don't even know
what it costs.
180
00:06:10,165 --> 00:06:10,700
I don't even know
what it costs.
181
00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:11,700
Not, uh...
182
00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:12,866
Not too expensive,
is it?
183
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,133
Not if you have
a lot of money.
184
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,133
It was cheaper for me
when she was an actress.
185
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:18,100
Well...
186
00:06:19,933 --> 00:06:22,133
[CROWD GASPS]
187
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:24,866
Well...enjoy the game.
188
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,666
Yeah.
Thanks.
189
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,033
Uh, I think you'd better
take off the Orioles cap.
190
00:06:29,066 --> 00:06:30,333
Yeah. I better.
191
00:06:30,366 --> 00:06:31,400
No, no, no, seriously.
192
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,633
You're in
the owner's box.
193
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:34,533
I don't think
it's a good idea.
194
00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:36,033
You're not serious.
195
00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:37,700
Yes, yes, yes, I am.
196
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:39,033
Did he say that?
197
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,165
No, no, but he
gave me the seats,
198
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:41,066
No, no, but he
gave me the seats,
199
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,466
and I don't think
he'd like it
200
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,666
if you wore
an Orioles cap.
201
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,066
Yeah, well, maybe
you should ask him.
202
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,300
I don't have
to ask him.
203
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,500
Now, are you going to
take the hat off or not?
204
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,066
No, I'm not going to
take it off.
205
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,733
Why should I?
That's ridiculous.
206
00:06:51,766 --> 00:06:53,466
Just take
the cap off.
207
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,466
George, I am
at a baseball game.
208
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,566
This is America.
209
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,166
Look, look, either
you take the cap off
210
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,466
or you leave.
211
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,400
Well, I don't care.
I'm not taking it off.
212
00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:03,566
Elaine, just
take the cap off.
213
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:04,966
No! Get off of my hat!
214
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,066
What do you mean?
215
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,066
Come on! Stop it!
216
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,366
Just take it off!
217
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,700
Hey! Hey! Hey!
218
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:10,165
All right, okay,
all right, let's go.
219
00:07:10,165 --> 00:07:12,033
All right, okay,
all right, let's go.
220
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:13,300
Oh, my God!
Hey.
221
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,200
All right,
get your hands off of me.
222
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:16,533
I'm leaving.
223
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,633
Wait a minute.
We just got here.
224
00:07:18,666 --> 00:07:20,400
Uh, do you want us
to go with you?
225
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:22,133
Oh, no, George,
you stay.
226
00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:23,533
Well, I was
just thinking...
227
00:07:23,566 --> 00:07:25,200
Yeah, yeah. Stay!
228
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,433
All right, all right,
we'll go, we'll go.
229
00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:37,900
And then the ball
hits him in the head
230
00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:39,466
and he falls
right over the railing.
231
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,165
Is he okay?
232
00:07:40,165 --> 00:07:41,033
Is he okay?
233
00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:42,566
Well, yeah,
he's fine.
234
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,566
We took him
to the emergency room, you know.
235
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,133
The x-rays were all negative.
236
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,533
It was...
It was quite a day.
237
00:07:48,566 --> 00:07:51,066
This is the most amazing story
I've ever heard.
238
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,533
Why did he want you
to take off the baseball cap?
239
00:07:53,566 --> 00:07:55,233
That is so insane.
I know.
240
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,533
Can you imagine that?
241
00:07:57,566 --> 00:07:58,933
Hey.
242
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,400
How you feeling?
243
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:04,533
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
244
00:08:04,566 --> 00:08:05,733
Hiya, Carol.
245
00:08:05,766 --> 00:08:07,800
Hey, look.
246
00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:09,066
We made the paper.
247
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,165
Huh? Look at this.
248
00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:11,366
Huh? Look at this.
249
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,866
Page two,
sports section.
250
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:14,233
We're all
in the picture.
251
00:08:14,266 --> 00:08:15,700
Picture?
Picture.
252
00:08:15,733 --> 00:08:17,033
Our picture's in there?
253
00:08:17,066 --> 00:08:18,233
Yeah.
What?
254
00:08:18,266 --> 00:08:19,233
[GASPS]
255
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,033
I cannot believe this.
256
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,033
There's George.
257
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:23,200
Yeah. Look at him.
258
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:24,533
Oh, my God,
259
00:08:24,566 --> 00:08:25,700
Lippman could see this.
260
00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:27,066
He thinks I was
visiting my father.
261
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,366
Oh, my God.
262
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,533
I make up
one little white lie,
263
00:08:30,566 --> 00:08:33,033
and they put my picture
in the paper!
264
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,733
Hi, Mr. Lippman.
265
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,600
How's your father?
266
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,533
My-- My father.
267
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,733
Yeah. Yeah.
268
00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:46,533
You went to see him,
right?
269
00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:49,066
Yeah, yeah, I, uh...
I went to visit him.
270
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:52,133
Uh-huh.
So, what was wrong with him?
271
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:53,466
Well, you name it.
272
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,800
You know, uh...
273
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:56,966
Uh...
274
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:01,133
neuritis, uh, neuralgia.
275
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,166
But he's feeling better now,
right?
276
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,300
Um, yes. Yeah, it's just...
It's such a miracle.
277
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:08,066
You know, my visit
must have boyed his spirits.
278
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,066
Uh-huh.
279
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,165
"Boo-eed."
280
00:09:10,165 --> 00:09:11,366
"Boo-eed."
281
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,533
What did I say?
282
00:09:13,566 --> 00:09:14,533
You said "boyed."
283
00:09:14,566 --> 00:09:16,066
I did?
284
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,866
Yeah.
285
00:09:21,066 --> 00:09:23,533
[CONTINUES TO
FORCE LAUGHTER]
286
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,700
Well, I got a plane to catch.
287
00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:30,833
Oh. Where are you going?
288
00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:32,233
Going to Houston
for a few days.
289
00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:33,666
Publishers' convention.
290
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:34,733
Ah.
291
00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:36,033
Can I have
my sports section?
292
00:09:36,066 --> 00:09:37,700
Wh-- Uh...
293
00:09:37,733 --> 00:09:40,165
Sports section.
Ah. Yeah.
294
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:40,566
Sports section.
Ah. Yeah.
295
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,900
I'm saving it
for the plane.
296
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,466
I never miss a Sunday
sports section.
297
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,866
Well, you know,
there's nothing to read.
298
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:46,366
It's yesterday's
news.
Yeah, well...
299
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,533
You know, the Yankees won,
the Mets lost,
300
00:09:48,566 --> 00:09:49,900
Rickey Henderson's unhappy.
301
00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:51,166
Right, right.
302
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,333
What are you doing?
303
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:53,700
Oh, God.
304
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:58,533
That is the third time today
I have done that.
305
00:09:58,566 --> 00:10:00,033
Blah!
306
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,533
I keep, you know,
grabbing newspapers
307
00:10:02,566 --> 00:10:04,000
and just tugging at them.
308
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,866
Well, got to go.
309
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,233
Okay.
Yes, well, you know,
310
00:10:07,266 --> 00:10:09,333
have a nice trip,
and, um...
311
00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:10,165
Alrighty.
312
00:10:10,165 --> 00:10:11,033
Alrighty.
313
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:14,033
Um, uh, I'll just hold down
the, uh, fort.
314
00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:15,100
Oh.
315
00:10:19,566 --> 00:10:21,533
WOMAN:
I sense great
vulnerability,
316
00:10:21,566 --> 00:10:24,533
a man-child
crying out for love,
317
00:10:24,566 --> 00:10:29,033
an innocent orphan
in the postmodern world.
318
00:10:29,066 --> 00:10:32,166
I see a parasite,
319
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,333
a sexually depraved
miscreant
320
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:37,033
who is seeking only to gratify
321
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:40,165
his basest
and most immediate urges.
322
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:40,933
his basest
and most immediate urges.
323
00:10:43,566 --> 00:10:45,000
She was a guest
of my father's.
324
00:10:45,033 --> 00:10:46,533
She should have
taken the cap off.
325
00:10:46,566 --> 00:10:48,533
It's preposterous
to ask someone
326
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:50,900
to take off a baseball cap
at a baseball game.
327
00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:52,200
How can you defend that?
328
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:55,133
His struggle
is man's struggle.
329
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:57,466
He lifts my spirit.
330
00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:01,533
He is a loathsome,
offensive brute...
331
00:11:01,566 --> 00:11:03,600
yet I can't look away.
332
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:06,966
Look, I'm really
getting tired
333
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,033
of all this fighting.
334
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:09,533
Maybe we should end this
335
00:11:09,566 --> 00:11:10,165
before we really start
hating each other.
336
00:11:10,165 --> 00:11:11,533
before we really start
hating each other.
337
00:11:11,566 --> 00:11:13,033
Oh, well,
you wouldn't want that,
338
00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:15,533
because you always
have to remain friends.
339
00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:17,533
Well, I like
to remain friends
340
00:11:17,566 --> 00:11:20,033
with people
I was friends with.
341
00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,533
Hey, why don't you
just go, then?
342
00:11:22,566 --> 00:11:24,533
Oh, and give this
to George.
343
00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:26,200
Tell him
he owes me $500.
344
00:11:28,266 --> 00:11:32,700
He transcends
time and space.
345
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:36,533
He sickens me.
346
00:11:36,566 --> 00:11:39,233
I love it.
347
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,165
Me too.
348
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:40,500
Me too.
349
00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:46,533
Five hundred dollars?
350
00:11:46,566 --> 00:11:47,900
What?
351
00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,900
That's what she told me.
352
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:52,400
I'm not paying $500 for this.
353
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,333
It's a piece of junk.
354
00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:55,666
That's what it costs.
355
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,000
Why did you even
take it?
356
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:58,233
You broke up with her.
357
00:11:58,266 --> 00:12:00,400
I wasn't thinking. I don't know.
358
00:12:00,433 --> 00:12:02,500
You weren't thinking.
359
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,033
Well, I mean, she framed it
and everything.
360
00:12:07,066 --> 00:12:08,200
Well, I'm not buying this.
361
00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:09,300
No way. Forget it.
362
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:10,165
No way I'm buying this.
363
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:10,866
No way I'm buying this.
364
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,366
I mean, look at it.
What is it?
365
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,133
It's a bunch
of squiggly lines.
366
00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:17,866
Are you telling me
you couldn't paint this?
367
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,533
Do you want me
to paint you something?
368
00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:21,100
I'd love to paint you something.
369
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,900
I'm not paying for this.
370
00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:26,866
If you were going out with her,
it would be a different story.
371
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,566
This was in front of your door.
372
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,633
Oh.
Hey, Kramer.
373
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:31,700
Hi, Mike.
374
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:36,966
Wow. A letter from Nina.
375
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,633
Whoa! Man.
376
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,165
That is the ugliest thing
I've ever seen.
377
00:12:40,165 --> 00:12:41,700
That is the ugliest thing
I've ever seen.
378
00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,633
Oh, my God.
379
00:12:43,666 --> 00:12:44,833
What?
380
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,233
This is amazing.
You can't believe this.
381
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,566
What's it say?
382
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,566
Listen to this.
383
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,633
"I don't know
384
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:51,233
"what you expect
to find out there, Jerry.
385
00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,866
"You know what you want
better than me.
386
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,733
"But there's one thing
I do know.
387
00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:57,166
"I know I can stand here
watching you try to destroy
388
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,000
"everything I've ever wanted
in my life,
389
00:12:59,033 --> 00:13:02,233
"wanting to smash your face
with my fists
390
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:04,400
"because you won't even
make the slightest effort
391
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,566
"to opt for happiness
392
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,966
"and still know that I love you.
393
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,566
"You mean so much to me
394
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,165
"that I'm willing to take
all your abuse and insults
395
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:10,566
"that I'm willing to take
all your abuse and insults
396
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,566
and insensitivity."
397
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:12,733
Wow.
398
00:13:12,766 --> 00:13:15,733
She's deep.
399
00:13:15,766 --> 00:13:17,133
"Because that's
what you need to do
400
00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:18,733
"to prove
I'm not going to leave you.
401
00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:19,900
"I'm sick and tired
of running
402
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,166
"from places and people
and relationships.
403
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,566
You want me,
then fight for me--"
404
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:24,600
[KRAMER BLOWS NOSE]
405
00:13:26,566 --> 00:13:29,400
"Because I'm sure as hell
fighting for you.
406
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,266
I think
we're both worth it."
407
00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:43,700
You know, Jerry,
she sounds like a poet.
408
00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:46,533
Boy, no one's ever written me
a letter like this.
409
00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:47,866
Maybe I was wrong about her.
410
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:49,200
Get up. Go.
411
00:13:49,233 --> 00:13:50,800
Get in there
and give her a call.
412
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:52,200
Pick up the phone
and call her.
413
00:13:52,233 --> 00:13:53,333
Should I?
414
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,033
Yes, you're damn right
you should!
415
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,233
Fight for her, Jerry!
416
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:57,866
She's sure the hell
fighting for you!
417
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,966
All right!
418
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,700
I'll call her!
419
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:18,942
Don't go in there.
420
00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:20,175
You're going to get shot.
421
00:14:20,208 --> 00:14:21,442
[GUNSHOT]
422
00:14:21,475 --> 00:14:23,008
I told you.
423
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:25,242
[INTERCOM BUZZING]
424
00:14:25,275 --> 00:14:26,608
Yeah.
425
00:14:26,642 --> 00:14:27,942
It's George.
426
00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:30,108
Come on up.
427
00:14:30,142 --> 00:14:33,442
Well, now we got
to get a posse together.
428
00:14:33,475 --> 00:14:35,608
I love a good posse.
429
00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:39,075
What's the appeal
of the posse?
430
00:14:39,108 --> 00:14:40,408
The appeal of the posse?
431
00:14:40,442 --> 00:14:42,242
The posse has tremendous appeal.
432
00:14:42,275 --> 00:14:44,020
Get away from the job,
you camp out,
433
00:14:44,020 --> 00:14:44,408
Get away from the job,
you camp out,
434
00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:45,875
you're with friends...
435
00:14:47,842 --> 00:14:49,075
I mean, come on,
436
00:14:49,108 --> 00:14:50,608
it's a week-long game
of hide-and-go-seek
437
00:14:50,642 --> 00:14:52,675
on horseback.
438
00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:55,942
Hello, George.
439
00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:58,408
Hey. Hey, Nina.
440
00:14:58,442 --> 00:14:59,908
Hey...
441
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,608
I owe you some money,
442
00:15:01,642 --> 00:15:02,975
don't I?
443
00:15:03,008 --> 00:15:04,275
Well, I really
love that piece.
444
00:15:04,308 --> 00:15:05,608
Yeah, oh, me too.
445
00:15:05,642 --> 00:15:07,275
Me too. Boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy.
446
00:15:07,308 --> 00:15:08,608
[CHUCKLES]
447
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:10,008
You know, in fact,
448
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,175
I've been thinking about it,
449
00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:14,020
and, you know, I feel
like I'm stealing from you.
450
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:14,308
and, you know, I feel
like I'm stealing from you.
451
00:15:14,342 --> 00:15:15,775
Five hundred dollars.
452
00:15:15,808 --> 00:15:17,808
This is going to be worth
thousands soon.
453
00:15:17,842 --> 00:15:19,608
You know, on...
454
00:15:19,642 --> 00:15:21,608
On second thought,
I can't even accept it.
455
00:15:21,642 --> 00:15:23,608
No, no, no, no, George.
A deal's a deal.
456
00:15:23,642 --> 00:15:25,175
You know, I want you to have it.
457
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:27,975
This could be
in a museum someday.
458
00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,475
It's not safe with me.
459
00:15:29,508 --> 00:15:31,108
It should really be
in a doorman building.
460
00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:34,908
Honestly, George,
the money's not important.
461
00:15:34,942 --> 00:15:37,108
Who said anything about money?
462
00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:38,242
[INTERCOM BUZZING]
463
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:40,275
Yeah.
It's Elaine.
464
00:15:40,308 --> 00:15:41,442
Come on up.
465
00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:42,942
Elaine?
Yeah.
466
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,020
This person does not believe
in telephones, does she?
467
00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,575
This person does not believe
in telephones, does she?
468
00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:48,242
She likes the pop-in.
469
00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:50,242
I've told her how
I hate the pop-in.
470
00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:52,242
He likes the pop-in too.
471
00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:53,575
Just popped in now.
472
00:15:53,608 --> 00:15:55,575
I'm a big pop-in guy.
473
00:15:55,608 --> 00:15:57,075
He is.
What about Kramer?
474
00:15:57,108 --> 00:15:59,742
Oh, huge pop-in guy.
475
00:15:59,775 --> 00:16:02,275
Well, I was
leaving anyway.
476
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:03,608
So, uh, we're on
for tomorrow?
477
00:16:03,642 --> 00:16:04,675
Yeah.
478
00:16:04,708 --> 00:16:05,675
Okay.
Okay.
479
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,942
Bye.
Bye.
480
00:16:07,975 --> 00:16:09,375
Hello.
481
00:16:11,808 --> 00:16:14,020
Chatty gal.
482
00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:14,775
Chatty gal.
483
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,608
Lippman's coming back tomorrow.
484
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,942
I'll be fired.
485
00:16:17,975 --> 00:16:19,275
Oh, if he noticed it,
486
00:16:19,308 --> 00:16:21,108
he would've called you
from Houston.
487
00:16:21,142 --> 00:16:22,475
No. He wants to torture me.
488
00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:23,575
[CHANGING CHANNELS]
489
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:24,908
Will you give me the clicker?
490
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,475
I hate it
when you have the clicker.
491
00:16:26,508 --> 00:16:27,608
You're too fast.
492
00:16:27,642 --> 00:16:31,608
Get out!
I'm a great clicker.
493
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,108
I have great instincts.
494
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:35,442
How dare you
impugn my clicking?
495
00:16:35,475 --> 00:16:36,742
You're all over the dial.
496
00:16:36,775 --> 00:16:38,075
You don't know what you want.
497
00:16:38,108 --> 00:16:39,442
I've never seen you
stay on anything
498
00:16:39,475 --> 00:16:40,775
longer than five seconds.
499
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:41,775
Just give me that.
500
00:16:41,808 --> 00:16:42,942
Let go.
501
00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:44,020
No, come on. I want it, Jerry.
502
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:44,308
No, come on. I want it, Jerry.
503
00:16:44,342 --> 00:16:45,308
Let go, Elaine!
504
00:16:45,342 --> 00:16:46,308
Then let George do it!
505
00:16:46,342 --> 00:16:47,442
Oh, George can't click!
506
00:16:47,475 --> 00:16:48,508
Give it to me!
507
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:50,242
Give it! Give it!
Give it!
508
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:52,108
Pinheads.
509
00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:55,242
WOMAN [SOBBING]:
Maybe I can't...
510
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:59,242
analyze and theorize
and...
511
00:16:59,275 --> 00:17:01,075
speculate on
why we've been--
512
00:17:01,108 --> 00:17:02,608
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
Wait. Wait a second.
513
00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:04,342
Go back to that.
Go back to that.
514
00:17:04,375 --> 00:17:05,608
...you read
all those books,
515
00:17:05,642 --> 00:17:06,942
not me.
516
00:17:06,975 --> 00:17:08,275
That's Chapter Two.
It's Neil Simon.
517
00:17:08,308 --> 00:17:10,775
But one thing
I do know.
518
00:17:10,808 --> 00:17:13,608
I know how I feel.
519
00:17:13,642 --> 00:17:14,020
Wait a second.
Wait a second!
520
00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:15,275
Wait a second.
Wait a second!
521
00:17:15,308 --> 00:17:16,608
What?
522
00:17:16,642 --> 00:17:17,675
Oh, my God.
The letter.
523
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,008
That's the letter!
524
00:17:19,042 --> 00:17:20,275
What letter?
525
00:17:20,308 --> 00:17:21,942
This is the letter
she wrote to me!
526
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:24,175
She stole it
right from the movie!
527
00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:25,775
Because you don't
even make...
528
00:17:25,808 --> 00:17:28,475
The slightest effort
to opt for happiness
529
00:17:28,508 --> 00:17:32,275
and still know
that I love you!
530
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:33,775
This is incredible.
531
00:17:33,808 --> 00:17:35,275
I always thought
532
00:17:35,308 --> 00:17:38,508
there was something funny
about this letter.
533
00:17:38,542 --> 00:17:40,775
She's copied it
right out of Chapter Two.
534
00:17:40,808 --> 00:17:42,642
She's a thief, a bunco artist.
535
00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:44,020
Maybe I won't send her
that check.
536
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,475
Maybe I won't send her
that check.
537
00:17:48,708 --> 00:17:51,642
You know,
it's not really that terrible.
538
00:17:51,675 --> 00:17:52,942
What are you
talking about?
539
00:17:52,975 --> 00:17:54,742
She completely
misrepresented herself.
540
00:17:54,775 --> 00:17:56,742
"I don't opt
for happiness."
541
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,408
I opt for happiness.
542
00:17:58,442 --> 00:18:01,542
James Caan doesn't opt
for happiness.
543
00:18:03,808 --> 00:18:05,442
Yeah. Yeah.
544
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,942
But she wouldn't
take the cap off?
545
00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:09,108
No.
546
00:18:09,142 --> 00:18:10,242
[SNAPS FINGERS]
547
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:11,442
But didn't she know
548
00:18:11,475 --> 00:18:13,275
they were
the owner's seats?
549
00:18:13,308 --> 00:18:14,020
Oh, that's unbelievable.
550
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,942
Oh, that's unbelievable.
551
00:18:15,975 --> 00:18:18,908
Yeah, okay.
All right, Lenny.
552
00:18:18,942 --> 00:18:20,408
Thanks again.
553
00:18:20,442 --> 00:18:22,808
Take care.
554
00:18:22,842 --> 00:18:24,342
That's Lenny West,
my accountant,
555
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:25,608
who's a hell of a guy.
556
00:18:25,642 --> 00:18:26,942
Aha.
557
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,608
And he handles
the Yankees too.
558
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:29,775
It's his biggest account.
559
00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,275
Ah. Really.
560
00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:32,742
So every once in a while,
561
00:18:32,775 --> 00:18:34,108
they throw him
a couple of seats,
562
00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:37,942
and last weekend,
he gave them to his daughter.
563
00:18:37,975 --> 00:18:39,442
She's an artist,
by the way.
564
00:18:39,475 --> 00:18:41,442
Anyway,
565
00:18:41,475 --> 00:18:44,020
her daughter gives them
to some friends, you know?
566
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:44,242
her daughter gives them
to some friends, you know?
567
00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:48,808
One of her friends shows up
wearing a Baltimore cap.
568
00:18:48,842 --> 00:18:50,242
Wha...?
569
00:18:50,275 --> 00:18:52,242
You're from Baltimore,
right?
570
00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:53,908
Oh, mm...
571
00:18:53,942 --> 00:18:55,442
It's Towson,
572
00:18:55,475 --> 00:18:57,108
Yeah.
and that's
near Baltimore--
573
00:18:57,142 --> 00:18:58,608
Yeah, but you're
an Oriole fan, right?
574
00:18:58,642 --> 00:19:00,175
Well, fan...
575
00:19:00,208 --> 00:19:01,442
You know, my father--
576
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,275
Anyway, she refused
to take the cap off.
577
00:19:04,308 --> 00:19:06,475
She caused a whole big scene.
578
00:19:06,508 --> 00:19:07,675
Really?
Yeah.
579
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:08,942
That's so impudent.
580
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:10,675
Yeah, so Lenny
581
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,608
gave me the tickets
for tomorrow night.
582
00:19:12,642 --> 00:19:14,020
I'm inviting Frank and Marsha.
583
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:14,608
I'm inviting Frank and Marsha.
584
00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:15,942
I want you to come.
585
00:19:17,608 --> 00:19:20,142
Oh, uh...
586
00:19:20,175 --> 00:19:22,475
I-I've got plans, though,
Mr. Lippman--
587
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:24,142
Well, break them.
588
00:19:24,175 --> 00:19:26,842
You missed the bris.
I want you at the game.
589
00:19:29,308 --> 00:19:31,475
Okay. Okay.
590
00:19:31,508 --> 00:19:32,575
Good.
591
00:19:32,608 --> 00:19:34,208
Okay, Mr. Lippman.
592
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,475
Oh, and Elaine...
593
00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:38,642
Yes?
You know
594
00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:40,275
the Baltimore cap
you got in your office?
595
00:19:40,308 --> 00:19:41,442
Wear it.
596
00:19:41,475 --> 00:19:43,208
I'm going to have
a little fun with him.
597
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,208
That will be fun.
598
00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:52,975
How's it coming?
599
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,542
Good. Good.
600
00:19:56,642 --> 00:20:00,775
Seen any
good movies lately?
601
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,275
No, not really.
602
00:20:02,308 --> 00:20:03,275
You?
603
00:20:03,308 --> 00:20:04,942
No.
604
00:20:04,975 --> 00:20:06,742
I like a good comedy...
605
00:20:06,775 --> 00:20:09,142
You know,
like a Neil Simon.
606
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,742
You like Neil Simon?
607
00:20:10,775 --> 00:20:11,808
Neil Simon?
608
00:20:11,842 --> 00:20:14,020
Uh, some of his stuff.
609
00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:14,308
Uh, some of his stuff.
610
00:20:14,342 --> 00:20:17,275
I've seen most of it.
611
00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:20,275
I guess my favorite
would have to be, uh...
612
00:20:20,308 --> 00:20:23,775
Chapter Two.
613
00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:27,275
Have you ever seen that?
614
00:20:27,308 --> 00:20:29,942
I don't know. Maybe.
615
00:20:29,975 --> 00:20:31,775
I have.
616
00:20:31,808 --> 00:20:33,275
Funny. Funny.
617
00:20:33,308 --> 00:20:35,942
In fact, it was on TV
just the other night.
618
00:20:35,975 --> 00:20:37,275
Happened to catch it.
619
00:20:37,308 --> 00:20:38,642
[KNOCKING]
620
00:20:38,675 --> 00:20:40,442
I couldn't help
but notice
621
00:20:40,475 --> 00:20:44,020
a stunning similarity...
622
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:44,608
a stunning similarity...
623
00:20:44,642 --> 00:20:46,742
Well, we've made
our decision.
624
00:20:46,775 --> 00:20:48,842
We want the Kramer.
625
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:51,775
GEORGE: Five thousand?
626
00:20:51,808 --> 00:20:56,108
Why would anybody
buy Kramer for $5000?
627
00:20:56,142 --> 00:20:57,575
[GEORGE LAUGHS]
628
00:20:57,608 --> 00:20:58,775
Boy, the Yankees
629
00:20:58,808 --> 00:21:01,108
cannot buy
a hit tonight.
630
00:21:01,142 --> 00:21:02,442
So is it all over
631
00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:06,275
between you
and Marsha Mason?
632
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:07,675
Yeah.
633
00:21:07,708 --> 00:21:09,075
Oh, and by the way,
634
00:21:09,108 --> 00:21:10,842
can you get this thing
out of my house?
635
00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:12,742
Tell you what.
I'll make a deal with you.
636
00:21:12,775 --> 00:21:14,020
I'll sell it to you right now
for 10 bucks.
637
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:14,742
I'll sell it to you right now
for 10 bucks.
638
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:16,075
Please.
639
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,442
ANNOUNCER:
Uh-oh.
640
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:18,808
Seems to be
a lot of trouble
641
00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:20,442
in the area just behind
the Yankee dugout.
642
00:21:20,475 --> 00:21:22,075
Behind the dugout?
643
00:21:22,108 --> 00:21:23,642
That's where we were sitting
the other night.
644
00:21:23,675 --> 00:21:25,442
Well, we're not
going to show it.
645
00:21:25,475 --> 00:21:27,175
We don't want
to encourage
646
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:28,342
that kind of behavior.
647
00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:30,008
It's a young lady,
and, boy,
648
00:21:30,042 --> 00:21:32,108
she's really going at it
with the security guard.
649
00:21:32,142 --> 00:21:33,675
She's a feisty one.
650
00:21:33,708 --> 00:21:35,108
Now they're getting
the other security guard
651
00:21:35,142 --> 00:21:36,242
to come down.
652
00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:37,642
How do you like that,
Seaver?
653
00:21:37,675 --> 00:21:38,775
Boy, she's something,
654
00:21:38,808 --> 00:21:40,642
and a Baltimore fan
at that.
655
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:42,542
Holy cow.
656
00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:47,242
Then, when I was 17,
657
00:21:47,275 --> 00:21:48,775
I ran away from home
658
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,108
and hopped a steamship
to Sweden.
659
00:21:51,142 --> 00:21:52,508
Mm.
660
00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:54,775
This steak is excellent,
by the way.
661
00:21:54,808 --> 00:21:55,975
More potatoes?
662
00:21:56,008 --> 00:21:57,842
Yeah, yeah, sure. Please.
663
00:21:57,875 --> 00:22:00,075
Yes, yes.
Go on. Go on.
664
00:22:00,108 --> 00:22:01,775
You hopped a steamship
to Sweden.
665
00:22:01,808 --> 00:22:04,008
Mm-hmm, and...
666
00:22:04,042 --> 00:22:07,142
it was a big one.
667
00:22:07,175 --> 00:22:08,342
But, uh,
baseball season's starting.
668
00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:09,675
I'm very excited about that.
669
00:22:09,708 --> 00:22:12,675
Did you ever sneak down
to better seats at the game
670
00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:14,020
and get caught by the usher?
671
00:22:14,020 --> 00:22:14,675
and get caught by the usher?
672
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,242
When you're a kid,
it doesn't matter,
673
00:22:16,275 --> 00:22:17,808
because you're always getting
chased from everyplace anyway.
674
00:22:17,842 --> 00:22:19,175
When you're an adult,
675
00:22:19,208 --> 00:22:20,608
it's really embarrassing
to get caught.
676
00:22:20,642 --> 00:22:24,108
You have to pretend
like there's some confusion,
677
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:25,942
so you put on this whole act.
678
00:22:25,975 --> 00:22:27,442
You're looking at the tickets.
679
00:22:27,475 --> 00:22:30,175
"I don't understand
how this could have happened.
680
00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:31,842
"Let me see.
681
00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:33,142
"Oh, I see the problem.
682
00:22:33,175 --> 00:22:35,575
"These are very good seats.
I have very bad seats.
683
00:22:35,608 --> 00:22:37,942
That's the misunderstanding."
684
00:22:37,975 --> 00:22:39,942
[♪]
685
00:22:48,975 --> 00:22:51,175
[♪]