1 00:01:59,107 --> 00:02:00,734 What about a pork pie, Mum? 2 00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:03,361 Certainly not, Nigel. Pork pies are common. 3 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,409 - What about some fresh cheese, then? - Don't be silly, you don't know where it's been. 4 00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:12,996 I'll have some nice Dairylea slices. 5 00:02:12,996 --> 00:02:14,080 Right you are. 6 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,292 'My mother was always averse to fresh produce. 7 00:02:17,292 --> 00:02:22,297 'I'm Nigel, I'm nine years old and I've never had a vegetable that didn't come in a tin.' 8 00:02:22,297 --> 00:02:24,549 - Thank you, Mrs Slater. - Come on, Nigel. 9 00:02:27,844 --> 00:02:31,056 Come on! What on earth have you been doing? 10 00:02:32,223 --> 00:02:33,892 Oh, come on. 11 00:02:37,604 --> 00:02:41,733 'It must have been the lack of nutrients that gave my father his fiery temper. 12 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:45,362 'He was not a sweet man, despite a very sweet tooth.' 13 00:02:45,362 --> 00:02:47,447 Not like that, man! 14 00:02:51,743 --> 00:02:56,873 'My mother's sweet nature made up for her inability to cook, or even make a sandwich. 15 00:02:59,668 --> 00:03:04,297 'When you're deprived of something, it just makes you all the more hungry for it.' 16 00:03:12,597 --> 00:03:16,309 - Can we make the cake, then? - If we have to. 17 00:03:20,313 --> 00:03:21,815 Oh! 18 00:03:23,316 --> 00:03:24,943 What does that say? 19 00:03:26,861 --> 00:03:30,407 I can't even read this. Right, flour. 20 00:03:32,576 --> 00:03:33,910 16 ounces. 21 00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:34,953 Ooh! 22 00:03:36,371 --> 00:03:38,498 I think that's enough. 23 00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:40,000 Oh, yes, sieve it. 24 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,420 And some butter. 25 00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,338 Oh. 26 00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:46,840 Mum... 27 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,634 Oh, dear. Daddy will be pleased. 28 00:03:49,634 --> 00:03:50,969 Mum, let me do it. 29 00:03:56,933 --> 00:03:59,227 Shh, listen. 30 00:04:14,034 --> 00:04:17,370 Don't worry, we'll cheer it up with a little icing. 31 00:04:25,045 --> 00:04:26,630 It's not too bad. 32 00:04:31,176 --> 00:04:32,886 Mum, the dinner! 33 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,557 They're all burnt. 34 00:04:37,557 --> 00:04:40,143 I think I'd better make some toast. 35 00:04:52,572 --> 00:04:57,535 'No matter how bad things get, it's impossible not to love someone who made you toast. 36 00:04:57,535 --> 00:05:02,040 'Once you've bitten through that crusty surface to the soft dough underneath 37 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,252 'and tasted the warm, salty butter, you're lost forever.' 38 00:05:11,591 --> 00:05:12,884 More tea, anyone? 39 00:05:26,773 --> 00:05:28,108 Oh. 40 00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,154 Aaah. 41 00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:37,033 Mmm. 42 00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:43,873 Aaah... 43 00:05:43,873 --> 00:05:45,667 - What you doing? - Oh! 44 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:48,628 - Nothing. - Go to sleep, young man. 45 00:06:00,223 --> 00:06:02,183 Aaah. 46 00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:05,687 Oooh. 47 00:06:09,608 --> 00:06:11,443 Mmm. 48 00:06:13,153 --> 00:06:15,280 Right, I'm off. 49 00:06:25,206 --> 00:06:28,418 You don't suppose there's anything wrong with him, do you? 50 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:43,224 There you go. And was it a pound of streaky bacon? 51 00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:44,726 Yes, please. 52 00:06:48,813 --> 00:06:52,776 - There you go, Mrs Patten. - Thank you. 53 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,446 - Yes, Mr Salt? - A pound of Caerphilly, please. 54 00:06:56,446 --> 00:06:57,405 Right. 55 00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:02,702 Anything else I can get you? 56 00:07:02,702 --> 00:07:05,664 - Some raspberries, please. - Right you are. 57 00:07:25,058 --> 00:07:26,601 Hi, Nige. 58 00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:53,545 Let's get to work, then. 59 00:07:56,464 --> 00:07:58,258 'What are you doing?' 60 00:07:58,258 --> 00:08:00,218 Making compost. 61 00:08:02,345 --> 00:08:03,722 What's compost? 62 00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:09,561 Sort of nature's way of melting everything together. 63 00:08:09,561 --> 00:08:10,604 Come here. 64 00:08:11,855 --> 00:08:13,982 Give us your hand. 65 00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:18,945 - Right, feel that. - It's hot! - Cool, eh? 66 00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:22,741 Everything breaking down lets all the goodness out. 67 00:08:22,741 --> 00:08:25,201 That's what I love about gardens. 68 00:08:25,201 --> 00:08:26,912 What? 69 00:08:26,912 --> 00:08:29,915 They're alive. 70 00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:32,584 - How do you mean, alive? - Come here. 71 00:08:34,169 --> 00:08:39,424 Right now, there's 100,000 biological reactions going on all around us. 72 00:08:39,424 --> 00:08:41,885 Thousands of new things being born. 73 00:08:41,885 --> 00:08:46,640 All these smells and tastes - no wonder it's an assault on the senses. 74 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,768 That's what nature's all about, ain't it? 75 00:08:49,768 --> 00:08:51,478 What? 76 00:08:51,478 --> 00:08:52,938 Get on. 77 00:08:54,856 --> 00:08:56,900 Right. 78 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,652 Smell this. 79 00:08:58,652 --> 00:09:00,362 Do you know what that's called? 80 00:09:04,783 --> 00:09:06,701 Go on. Have a guess. 81 00:09:06,701 --> 00:09:10,497 - I don't know. - Well, what does it make you think of? 82 00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:14,918 Parma Violets? 83 00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:18,505 - Pleasure. - Pleasure? - Yeah. 84 00:09:18,505 --> 00:09:20,006 Cool, eh? 85 00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:40,527 Can you really eat them like that? Aren't they dirty? 86 00:09:40,527 --> 00:09:44,864 There's plenty of things they'll tell you is dirty that won't do you any harm. 87 00:09:44,864 --> 00:09:48,451 - In fact, most of them's good for you in my opinion. - Such as? 88 00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:51,329 Gardening. 89 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:52,539 What do they taste like? 90 00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:57,502 You don't know unless you try. 91 00:09:57,502 --> 00:09:59,629 Please yourself. 92 00:09:59,629 --> 00:10:01,715 Nigel? 93 00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:04,593 Nigel, come on. 94 00:10:07,596 --> 00:10:09,306 A tin of braised beef, 95 00:10:09,306 --> 00:10:12,517 a tin of sponge pudding and a tin of mixed veg, please. 96 00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:14,394 Can we have spaghetti bolognese? 97 00:10:15,645 --> 00:10:19,024 - I beg your pardon, Nigel? - Spaghetti bolognese. 98 00:10:19,024 --> 00:10:22,444 It's from Italy. The sauce comes in a tin. 99 00:10:22,444 --> 00:10:26,031 I wouldn't know how to cook such a thing. 100 00:10:26,031 --> 00:10:27,407 I'll show you. 101 00:10:27,407 --> 00:10:29,826 Are you sure this is a good idea? 102 00:10:31,119 --> 00:10:32,704 You have to put it IN the pan. 103 00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:42,130 What on earth's this? 104 00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:45,717 - It's spaghetti bolognese. It's Italian. - Italian? 105 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:50,972 What the hell's wrong with you, Nigel? It's rock hard. 106 00:10:50,972 --> 00:10:52,265 It isn't cooked yet. 107 00:10:55,602 --> 00:10:57,812 Stupid idea if you ask me. 108 00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:04,569 See, I told you it wouldn't fit. 109 00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:11,910 - What the hell's this? - Cheese. 110 00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:14,955 Percy Salt said you have to put it on or it doesn't work. 111 00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:18,833 - It smells like sick. - Alan! 112 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,674 I don't think so. 113 00:11:34,516 --> 00:11:36,935 Here goes. 114 00:11:44,109 --> 00:11:46,820 Mmm, it's delicious. 115 00:11:47,904 --> 00:11:49,781 You twiddle it round. 116 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,044 I think it's off. 117 00:12:11,386 --> 00:12:13,930 Nigel, get Mum's bag. 118 00:12:15,432 --> 00:12:16,891 Get Mum's bag! 119 00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:24,107 Well, come on, Nigel! 120 00:12:26,902 --> 00:12:29,070 Stupid boy! Come on. 121 00:13:04,898 --> 00:13:07,567 I think I'd better make some toast. 122 00:13:08,902 --> 00:13:10,654 'I think she's pregnant.' 123 00:13:10,654 --> 00:13:11,738 Pregnant? 124 00:13:11,738 --> 00:13:13,615 It's to do with her breathing. 125 00:13:13,615 --> 00:13:17,661 Breathlessness, nausea. I'm telling you, it's the same as my mum. 126 00:13:17,661 --> 00:13:20,830 Sick all the time for no reason, picky with food. 127 00:13:20,830 --> 00:13:22,707 Nine months later, hello! 128 00:13:22,707 --> 00:13:24,668 Out pops our Julie. 129 00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:27,087 How do you think she got pregnant? 130 00:13:27,087 --> 00:13:28,630 For Pete's sake, Nigel. 131 00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:31,258 I don't think they've had... ..sex 132 00:13:31,258 --> 00:13:34,135 for years. - You'd be surprised. 133 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,598 Oh, milk. I think I'm going to throw up. 134 00:13:38,598 --> 00:13:41,768 Hey, I'll have it if you're not going to drink it. 135 00:13:41,768 --> 00:13:45,146 - What's it worth? - I'll show you me knickers. 136 00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:46,815 - I'd let you see my willy. 137 00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:52,612 - What? - Then if you give me your puddings, I'll give you a feel. 138 00:13:52,612 --> 00:13:54,823 Well, actually, I go home for dinners. 139 00:13:54,823 --> 00:13:57,409 Well, just bear it in mind for the future. 140 00:14:01,204 --> 00:14:03,957 Here. You can have it for nowt. 141 00:14:03,957 --> 00:14:05,625 The offer's there, Nigel. 142 00:14:08,587 --> 00:14:11,590 'Josh, how can you tell if someone's pregnant?' 143 00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:16,219 - Well, you ain't been messing about with someone, have you? - Not me, my mum. 144 00:14:16,219 --> 00:14:17,929 Your mum. 145 00:14:17,929 --> 00:14:20,056 She keeps getting sick all the time. 146 00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:24,227 Well, she doesn't look very pregnant, Nige. 147 00:14:24,227 --> 00:14:26,855 I hope not. 148 00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:29,357 What's wrong with being pregnant, anyways? 149 00:14:29,357 --> 00:14:30,984 I'm scared that... 150 00:14:32,736 --> 00:14:37,574 ...if she goes into hospital, I'll have to be looked after by my dad. 151 00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:49,002 Oh, no. I'd better go inside. 152 00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:50,712 Why? 153 00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:52,839 I love it when it rains in the summer. 154 00:14:58,345 --> 00:15:01,264 Anyway, what's the matter with your dad? 155 00:15:01,264 --> 00:15:03,224 I don't think he likes me. 156 00:15:03,224 --> 00:15:05,977 Don't be daft, what's not to like? 157 00:15:05,977 --> 00:15:08,730 I think he thinks there's something wrong with me. 158 00:15:27,415 --> 00:15:30,293 You daft bugger! Come on. 159 00:15:30,293 --> 00:15:31,711 Come on, Nige. 160 00:15:47,102 --> 00:15:49,145 Put that on till these dry. 161 00:15:56,319 --> 00:15:58,446 There's nothing wrong with you, Nigel. 162 00:15:58,446 --> 00:16:01,116 Everything's going to be OK. 163 00:16:04,119 --> 00:16:05,203 Here. 164 00:16:12,544 --> 00:16:13,962 I love a pork pie, me. 165 00:16:20,635 --> 00:16:22,762 Hurry up, Nigel! 166 00:16:22,762 --> 00:16:25,307 Oh, come on, come on! 167 00:16:46,453 --> 00:16:50,916 - Are we nearly there yet? - Nigel, we haven't even left Wolverhampton yet. 168 00:16:50,916 --> 00:16:53,168 Do we have to go to Penarth? 169 00:16:53,168 --> 00:16:56,296 It's very good for the air. 170 00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:59,424 Just try to enjoy yourself, Nigel. 171 00:16:59,424 --> 00:17:01,051 For your mother's sake. 172 00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,765 There's nothing to do in Penarth. 173 00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:08,475 Nonsense. 174 00:17:08,475 --> 00:17:11,978 It's the premier resort on the Welsh coast. 175 00:17:14,314 --> 00:17:15,899 It could be worse. 176 00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:18,152 They say it's going to pick up tomorrow. 177 00:17:18,152 --> 00:17:20,070 Oh, struth. 178 00:17:32,082 --> 00:17:34,668 Come on, Nigel. Nigel! 179 00:17:36,253 --> 00:17:38,922 Sit up, Nigel. Tomato, anybody? 180 00:17:40,549 --> 00:17:43,510 You don't have to have salad cream if you don't want it. 181 00:17:46,889 --> 00:17:50,309 - Do I have to have ham? Course you bloody well have to have ham! 182 00:17:50,309 --> 00:17:52,644 - You're on holiday. - Nigel, you like ham. 183 00:17:52,644 --> 00:17:55,939 I know I like ham, I just don't like the jelly. 184 00:17:55,939 --> 00:18:00,944 - Can't we go and get fish and chips? - Look, just eat, for God's sake. For your mother. 185 00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:11,288 Look at that! Absolutely disgusting. Letting a child run around naked like that. 186 00:18:11,288 --> 00:18:13,999 - I don't see anything wrong with it. - Don't be stupid, Nigel. 187 00:18:13,999 --> 00:18:17,628 - Loads of people go around naked. - Don't be ridiculous. 188 00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:19,296 Who have you seen naked? 189 00:18:19,296 --> 00:18:21,173 Josh. 190 00:18:21,173 --> 00:18:24,510 - Josh? - Oh, my God! - He was only getting changed. 191 00:18:27,387 --> 00:18:29,640 Has Josh ever... 192 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:34,311 has he ever touched you? - Alan, Alan... - Of course he hasn't. 193 00:18:34,311 --> 00:18:36,188 Just eat your ham, Nigel. 194 00:18:36,188 --> 00:18:38,982 We'll forget the whole thing. 195 00:18:40,025 --> 00:18:42,319 Whee! Whee! 196 00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:46,824 - I'm going to have a word with those parents. - Alan, calm down. 197 00:18:59,461 --> 00:19:01,213 Oh, for Pete's sake! 198 00:19:06,051 --> 00:19:10,889 Oh, come back here, you stupid, ignorant boy! 199 00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:15,853 Oh, for Pete's sake. 200 00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:43,255 Mum, can I ask you a question? 201 00:19:43,255 --> 00:19:45,174 You're not pregnant, are you? 202 00:19:46,508 --> 00:19:48,510 What on earth makes you ask that? 203 00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:50,679 You keep doing all that heavy breathing. 204 00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:55,059 It's my lungs, Nigel. 205 00:19:56,894 --> 00:19:59,354 I'm not going to be very well, 206 00:19:59,354 --> 00:20:01,899 maybe for quite a long time. 207 00:20:03,192 --> 00:20:05,861 But you'll be all right by Christmas, won't you? 208 00:20:07,029 --> 00:20:09,573 I don't know, Nigel. 209 00:20:09,573 --> 00:20:13,368 But you'll still teach me how to make mince pies, won't you? 210 00:20:13,368 --> 00:20:17,122 - Of course I will. - Promise? 211 00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:20,292 I promise. 212 00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:51,532 Just because there's something wrong with her lungs doesn't mean to say she's not pregnant. 213 00:20:51,532 --> 00:20:53,492 What about Parma Violets? 214 00:20:53,492 --> 00:20:55,953 Don't be stupid, they're for old people. 215 00:20:55,953 --> 00:21:00,082 Anyway, I'm not interested in your opinion. I'm going to ask Josh about it. 216 00:21:00,082 --> 00:21:03,293 - How about some Love Hearts? - Piss off! 217 00:21:03,293 --> 00:21:04,628 They're for girls. 218 00:21:04,628 --> 00:21:10,050 You fancy that gardener, don't you? What about some Pascall's oblong fruit bonbons? 219 00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:13,595 Honestly? They'll put you in a retirement home. 220 00:21:13,595 --> 00:21:17,224 And, no, I don't, I'm just interested in gardening, that's all. 221 00:21:17,224 --> 00:21:18,934 Are you bollocks. 222 00:21:18,934 --> 00:21:21,937 All you've ever planted is a row of radishes. 223 00:21:21,937 --> 00:21:25,983 Anyway, re your mum, the jury's out in my opinion. 224 00:21:25,983 --> 00:21:27,484 What about barley sugars? 225 00:21:27,484 --> 00:21:30,946 We're not getting barley sugars, Warrel, we're not going in a car. 226 00:21:32,781 --> 00:21:37,578 I'll buy a packet of Refreshers and a quart of chocolate limes so we can burn our tongues! 227 00:21:39,872 --> 00:21:44,710 Yes, boys? A quart of chocolate limes and a packet of Refreshers, please. 228 00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:46,420 Oh, and a pork pie. 229 00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:48,213 What's the pork pie for? 230 00:22:19,453 --> 00:22:20,496 Who are you? 231 00:22:20,496 --> 00:22:23,499 I'm the new gardener, who are you? 232 00:22:23,499 --> 00:22:28,128 - Where's Josh? - I don't know. I was just told to come down here twice a week from now on. 233 00:22:30,089 --> 00:22:35,719 - Well, would you like half a pork pie? I bought it myself. - No. 234 00:22:53,737 --> 00:22:56,532 Dad, what have you done to Josh? 235 00:22:56,532 --> 00:22:59,243 I haven't done anything to Josh. 236 00:22:59,243 --> 00:23:01,245 Joshua doesn't work for us anymore. 237 00:23:03,247 --> 00:23:05,416 We have a new gardener, Mr Watford. 238 00:23:05,416 --> 00:23:08,544 - Josh was my friend. - Joshua is not your friend! 239 00:23:08,544 --> 00:23:12,339 Now, I want you to put Joshua right out of your mind! Ow! 240 00:23:12,339 --> 00:23:15,551 And I don't want you to ever mention his name again! 241 00:23:15,551 --> 00:23:18,262 - I want you to take this up to your mother. - I hate you. 242 00:23:22,057 --> 00:23:24,810 I'm warning you, Nigel... 243 00:23:24,810 --> 00:23:26,562 Now take this up to your mother. 244 00:23:26,562 --> 00:23:30,357 And whatever you do, don't disturb her. 245 00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:17,905 Thank you. 246 00:24:31,210 --> 00:24:32,920 Dad! 247 00:24:34,421 --> 00:24:37,174 Dad! Dad! 248 00:24:40,344 --> 00:24:43,138 I told you not to disturb her! 249 00:25:13,669 --> 00:25:14,753 Come on. 250 00:25:14,753 --> 00:25:17,089 Let's have a crumpet. 251 00:25:36,859 --> 00:25:40,028 She's not going to be better for Christmas, is she? 252 00:25:46,326 --> 00:25:48,078 No, son. 253 00:25:55,461 --> 00:25:56,795 Look... 254 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:11,560 What's going to happen to her? Is she going to be all right? 255 00:26:14,688 --> 00:26:17,274 Nigel, erm... 256 00:26:24,031 --> 00:26:25,908 Everything's going to be fine. 257 00:26:42,299 --> 00:26:43,300 Nigel? 258 00:26:44,593 --> 00:26:45,761 Mum? 259 00:26:45,761 --> 00:26:47,846 Aren't you supposed to be in bed? 260 00:26:47,846 --> 00:26:49,181 I want you to help me. 261 00:26:49,181 --> 00:26:50,474 What with? 262 00:26:50,474 --> 00:26:51,934 Mince pies. 263 00:26:53,060 --> 00:26:54,937 It's not even Christmas yet. 264 00:26:54,937 --> 00:26:56,688 Doesn't matter. 265 00:26:56,688 --> 00:26:59,358 Now you do it. 266 00:27:02,736 --> 00:27:04,029 - Oh, Mum... - All right. 267 00:27:04,029 --> 00:27:05,114 It's all right. 268 00:27:05,114 --> 00:27:06,740 Just stick it back down there. 269 00:27:06,740 --> 00:27:08,659 No one will know. 270 00:27:12,079 --> 00:27:13,747 It's going to be so tasty. 271 00:27:13,747 --> 00:27:15,749 That's perfect. 272 00:27:15,749 --> 00:27:18,127 Here we are. Now we cut them out. 273 00:27:25,634 --> 00:27:28,554 - Nigel... - Mmm-hmm? 274 00:27:31,724 --> 00:27:34,852 - I love you. - I love you too, Mum. 275 00:27:40,774 --> 00:27:43,944 - Now all we need is the mincemeat. - I'll get it. 276 00:27:54,580 --> 00:27:59,001 - I can't see it. - It's in there somewhere, Nigel, I know it's in there somewhere. 277 00:27:59,001 --> 00:28:00,711 Don't worry. I'll find it. 278 00:28:08,552 --> 00:28:11,263 I don't understand. It must be in there somewhere. 279 00:28:13,223 --> 00:28:17,227 - It has to be here. I'm sure it's here. - It's not. 280 00:28:17,227 --> 00:28:18,604 Let me see. 281 00:28:22,107 --> 00:28:23,817 I asked your father specially. 282 00:28:27,071 --> 00:28:28,697 I'm sorry, Nigel. 283 00:28:30,824 --> 00:28:32,493 You said you'd teach me. 284 00:28:32,493 --> 00:28:34,119 Well... 285 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,080 We'll put them in the fridge 286 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,666 and we'll get some tomorrow from Percy Salt's. But you promised! 287 00:28:39,666 --> 00:28:42,628 You're going to leave me with him, aren't you? 288 00:28:45,172 --> 00:28:47,299 - It's not fair! - Nigel... 289 00:28:47,299 --> 00:28:48,425 Come here... 290 00:28:48,425 --> 00:28:51,136 - I hate you! - Come here, come here. 291 00:28:51,136 --> 00:28:52,763 All right. You're hopeless! 292 00:28:52,763 --> 00:28:54,390 I hope you die! 293 00:29:05,901 --> 00:29:10,072 All right, all right, all right. 294 00:29:10,072 --> 00:29:11,615 Shh. 295 00:29:16,036 --> 00:29:17,329 Shhh. 296 00:29:23,210 --> 00:29:26,672 All right. 297 00:29:36,807 --> 00:29:42,521 - What's that? - It's a stocking, Nigel. - But there's still a month to go. 298 00:29:42,521 --> 00:29:47,067 We thought we'd give you your presents early this year. As a special treat. 299 00:29:47,067 --> 00:29:49,445 We thought we'd open them in the morning. 300 00:29:49,445 --> 00:29:53,031 I don't want them in the morning. It'll spoil Christmas. 301 00:29:53,031 --> 00:29:54,158 Nigel, please! 302 00:29:58,203 --> 00:30:00,122 Your mother asked me specially. 303 00:30:02,791 --> 00:30:06,086 OK. I suppose so. 304 00:30:07,713 --> 00:30:10,215 So, you're not going to tell me off, then? 305 00:30:10,215 --> 00:30:13,844 No, I'm not going to tell you off. 306 00:30:13,844 --> 00:30:16,597 But you mustn't open them until Mum is there. 307 00:30:19,391 --> 00:30:20,517 Night-night. 308 00:30:20,517 --> 00:30:21,643 Night-night. 309 00:31:44,226 --> 00:31:45,769 Daddy? 310 00:33:41,051 --> 00:33:45,222 'With Mum gone, things in the culinary department did not get any better, 311 00:33:45,222 --> 00:33:50,352 'and after months of cheese on toast, Dad decided to be more adventurous.' 312 00:33:55,566 --> 00:33:56,692 Ah! 313 00:34:02,614 --> 00:34:04,074 Ahh! 314 00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:09,079 Damn it! 315 00:34:09,079 --> 00:34:10,706 Ah. 316 00:34:10,706 --> 00:34:11,957 Oh! Ow! 317 00:34:17,921 --> 00:34:20,299 It's disgusting. 318 00:34:20,299 --> 00:34:23,010 - You haven't even tried it. - It's not even cooked. 319 00:34:26,055 --> 00:34:28,223 Look, Nigel, just eat it. 320 00:34:28,223 --> 00:34:33,020 There are kids in Biafra who'd give their right arm for a Fray Bentos pie. 321 00:34:41,528 --> 00:34:44,114 - Eat your pie. - No. 322 00:34:45,783 --> 00:34:49,119 - Eat your pie, Nigel. - I won't. 323 00:34:50,537 --> 00:34:53,123 I'm warning you. 324 00:35:14,686 --> 00:35:17,231 - No! - That's it! 325 00:35:17,231 --> 00:35:19,233 - Eat the bloody pie! - No! 326 00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:20,859 - Eat it! - No! - Eat the pie! - No! 327 00:35:38,210 --> 00:35:42,339 - Maybe it's supposed to be like that. - Warrel, it was completely raw! 328 00:35:42,339 --> 00:35:43,841 Don't worry about it. 329 00:35:43,841 --> 00:35:46,593 My mum's no great shakes in the kitchen either. 330 00:35:46,593 --> 00:35:51,014 At least she's not dead. I wish I came from a normal family. 331 00:35:51,014 --> 00:35:54,226 Nigel, normal families are totally overrated. 332 00:35:54,226 --> 00:35:56,687 You'll probably grow up to be interesting. 333 00:35:56,687 --> 00:35:58,897 I don't want to be interesting. 334 00:35:58,897 --> 00:36:01,358 I just want him to like me. 335 00:36:02,651 --> 00:36:04,945 If you want to soften him up a bit, 336 00:36:04,945 --> 00:36:08,240 you can't expect something for nothing. 337 00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:13,328 Remember, the way to a man's heart is always through his stomach. 338 00:36:13,328 --> 00:36:15,664 Really? I'm telling you. 339 00:36:15,664 --> 00:36:19,334 My dad's putty in Mum's fingers once he's had his toad-in-the-hole. 340 00:36:30,471 --> 00:36:34,099 - Ah, now, there you go, this is for you. - Thank you. 341 00:36:34,099 --> 00:36:35,934 That's for me. Thank you very much. 342 00:36:35,934 --> 00:36:38,312 Now then, can I help you, son? 343 00:36:38,312 --> 00:36:42,316 I'll have two pieces of smoked haddock, please. It's my dad's favourite. 344 00:36:42,316 --> 00:36:47,154 - Don't you want something for your mum? - She's dead. - OK. 345 00:36:48,989 --> 00:36:51,075 That'll be two and six, sunshine. 346 00:36:53,535 --> 00:36:55,829 I've only got this. 347 00:36:55,829 --> 00:36:57,623 Could you cut a bit off, please. 348 00:36:57,623 --> 00:37:00,084 It's all right, son; you can have the tail bit on me. 349 00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:04,922 Um... How do you cook it? 350 00:37:04,922 --> 00:37:06,465 Warm the grill first. 351 00:37:06,465 --> 00:37:10,386 Rub it with a bit of butter and put it on just before you're going to eat. 352 00:37:10,386 --> 00:37:13,555 - Ten minutes, absolute max, understood? - Thank you. 353 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,338 - Where have you been? - Nowhere. 354 00:38:28,338 --> 00:38:32,843 Just got a little detained at the factory, Nigel. 355 00:38:39,266 --> 00:38:42,311 - Did you cook this? - It's ruined. 356 00:38:55,532 --> 00:38:57,659 No, it's not. 357 00:38:59,912 --> 00:39:01,497 It's just how I like it. 358 00:39:01,497 --> 00:39:03,248 No, it isn't. It's bad. 359 00:39:05,459 --> 00:39:09,004 Mmm. Look, Dad, you don't have to eat it. 360 00:39:09,004 --> 00:39:11,256 No, really, Nigel. 361 00:39:11,256 --> 00:39:13,300 It's delicious. 362 00:39:19,681 --> 00:39:22,101 'You see, I told you it'd win him over.' 363 00:39:22,101 --> 00:39:25,020 Haddock's a very superior fish, Nigel. 364 00:39:25,020 --> 00:39:29,650 - I really don't think he liked it. - It takes some time, bonding. 365 00:39:29,650 --> 00:39:31,527 Especially now your mum's dead. 366 00:39:31,527 --> 00:39:34,947 I'm telling you, you'll be inseparable shortly. 367 00:39:34,947 --> 00:39:37,074 Nothing will get between yous. 368 00:39:46,291 --> 00:39:47,835 Slater! 369 00:39:49,253 --> 00:39:50,796 Where is your milk? 370 00:39:52,047 --> 00:39:54,466 Come out to the front. 371 00:40:00,597 --> 00:40:03,100 Where is your milk? 372 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:04,977 I drank it, Miss. 373 00:40:04,977 --> 00:40:06,854 No, you did not. 374 00:40:06,854 --> 00:40:12,192 I've watched you give it to Leonard Watson every day this week. I want you to drink it now. 375 00:40:14,570 --> 00:40:18,323 I have to warn you, Miss, I have a serious aversion to dairy products. 376 00:40:18,323 --> 00:40:23,078 Drink it now, Slater! It's good for you! 377 00:40:23,078 --> 00:40:24,413 OK, then. 378 00:40:36,383 --> 00:40:38,844 You see? It wasn't that bad. 379 00:40:52,191 --> 00:40:54,068 Sit down. 380 00:40:58,697 --> 00:41:01,075 Nice one, Slater. 381 00:41:07,706 --> 00:41:10,626 Bleedin' hell. I'll be all afternoon on this. 382 00:41:13,212 --> 00:41:18,342 - What a bloody awful state this is in. When was the last time you cleaned in here? - Who are you? 383 00:41:18,342 --> 00:41:22,638 Hmm? New cleaner. Who's it bleedin' well look like? Joan of Arc? 384 00:41:22,638 --> 00:41:26,558 Whoever cleaned inside of here made a right pig's ear of it. 385 00:41:29,019 --> 00:41:30,729 Does my dad know you're here? 386 00:41:30,729 --> 00:41:35,567 No, I broke in and thought I'd scrub the kitchen floor clean! Bugger off! 387 00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:39,363 I ain't got all day to stand round talking to you. Snotty little brat. 388 00:41:45,828 --> 00:41:49,540 Bugger. I'll be on me knees all night getting this off. 389 00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:51,458 Mrs Potter. 390 00:41:51,458 --> 00:41:54,753 - Hmm? - Oh! You're still here. 391 00:41:54,753 --> 00:41:56,922 Oh, Mr Slater. 392 00:41:56,922 --> 00:41:59,258 I thought you was out at work at this time. 393 00:41:59,258 --> 00:42:02,261 - I see you've met Nigel. - Oh, yes. 394 00:42:02,261 --> 00:42:07,057 I think we're going to get along like a house on fire, aren't we, Nige? 395 00:42:07,057 --> 00:42:09,351 'I didn't expect Mrs Potter to last long. 396 00:42:09,351 --> 00:42:14,898 'My father wasn't usually one to associate himself with people who wore Crimplene. 397 00:42:14,898 --> 00:42:18,736 'But I was soon to be proved wrong.' 398 00:43:39,441 --> 00:43:45,697 'And so it was, Mrs Potter became a regular part of my father's routine. 399 00:43:45,697 --> 00:43:49,910 'She scrubbed, polished and bleached her way into our lives.' 400 00:43:53,705 --> 00:43:57,751 - Are you still here? - No. 401 00:43:57,751 --> 00:44:00,212 I'm at home, doing me ironing! 402 00:44:00,212 --> 00:44:03,841 - What ARE you doing? - I'm darning your father's socks. 403 00:44:03,841 --> 00:44:08,011 - What are you doing that for? - They have holes in them. 404 00:44:08,011 --> 00:44:10,222 You're only supposed to do the cleaning. 405 00:44:10,222 --> 00:44:13,434 Where would we be if we only did what we were supposed to do? 406 00:44:13,434 --> 00:44:16,186 I thought you'd be pleased I'm looking after him. 407 00:44:16,186 --> 00:44:18,689 I know what you're up to, so just...off his socks. 408 00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:22,109 Listen, Nigel. 409 00:44:22,109 --> 00:44:26,155 Look, I know you miss your mother and everything, but if there's a hole, 410 00:44:26,155 --> 00:44:31,326 sweetheart, somebody is going to darn it, and it might as well be me. 411 00:44:31,326 --> 00:44:36,081 You're wasting your time. I mean, you're far too common, and anyway, you're married. 412 00:44:36,081 --> 00:44:38,459 All I'm doing is darning his socks! 413 00:44:38,459 --> 00:44:40,711 Anyway, it's got nothing to do with you. 414 00:44:40,711 --> 00:44:45,549 Just because you can sew up his clothes doesn't mean you're anything like my mother! 415 00:44:45,549 --> 00:44:49,845 - Forget it! He's never going to be interested in you! - Ah, Mrs Potter. 416 00:44:49,845 --> 00:44:55,100 -You're here rather late again. - That's all right, Alan. I just thought I'd do your socks for you. 417 00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:56,977 Oh, really, you shouldn't have. 418 00:44:56,977 --> 00:44:58,687 That's beyond the call. 419 00:44:58,687 --> 00:45:00,481 Oh, it's nothing, you know. 420 00:45:00,481 --> 00:45:03,150 Got to keep your toes warm! 421 00:45:03,150 --> 00:45:08,322 Oh, by the way, baked you a little something for your supper. 422 00:45:08,322 --> 00:45:10,574 Oh, really, Mrs Potter! 423 00:45:10,574 --> 00:45:14,787 - It's an apple pie! - Well, I just thought you boys need a bit of looking after. 424 00:45:14,787 --> 00:45:16,622 Oh, that's very kind. 425 00:45:16,622 --> 00:45:18,332 Isn't it, Nigel? 426 00:45:19,458 --> 00:45:24,046 - Oh, that smells delicious. - Oh, it's just something I knocked up. 427 00:45:24,046 --> 00:45:26,715 Anyway, must be going. 428 00:45:26,715 --> 00:45:29,551 Here, that'll stop you sticking through. 429 00:45:31,053 --> 00:45:34,848 - Maybe I could offer you a lift home. - Aren't you going to eat the pie? 430 00:45:34,848 --> 00:45:39,144 Well actually, you should probably let it cool. Don't want to burn your lips, do you? 431 00:45:39,144 --> 00:45:42,314 No, it's no bother. I'll get the bus. 432 00:45:42,314 --> 00:45:45,859 No, really, really, it's the least I can do. 433 00:45:45,859 --> 00:45:48,445 Oh, well, if you insist. 434 00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,948 You'll be right, Nigel, won't you? 435 00:45:53,075 --> 00:45:55,411 See you, flower. 436 00:45:55,411 --> 00:45:57,496 I won't be long. 437 00:45:57,496 --> 00:45:59,498 Let me get the door. Thank you. 438 00:46:15,264 --> 00:46:18,475 'There's no denying Mrs Potter made a decent apple pie. 439 00:46:18,475 --> 00:46:20,811 'In fact, it was better than decent. 440 00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:25,065 'It was sublime, and one of the most glorious things I'd ever put in my mouth.' 441 00:46:34,199 --> 00:46:38,162 - What's the matter? - You're wearing my mum's apron! 442 00:46:38,162 --> 00:46:41,415 What do you want me to wear? An evening gown? 443 00:46:41,415 --> 00:46:46,295 - Would you like to help me bake a cake? - You shouldn't be wearing it. It's not yours. 444 00:46:46,295 --> 00:46:48,338 All right! 445 00:46:48,338 --> 00:46:50,424 Keep your hair on, bugger-lugs. 446 00:46:50,424 --> 00:46:51,884 It's only an apron. 447 00:46:54,261 --> 00:46:57,389 Does your husband know that you're cooking our suppers? 448 00:46:57,389 --> 00:47:00,851 Look, don't patronise me, son. 449 00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:04,980 Just because I don't talk all bay-window, doesn't mean I'm a fool, you know. 450 00:47:04,980 --> 00:47:09,234 You're a child. You know nothing about what people go through. 451 00:47:17,159 --> 00:47:18,744 Here's the apron. 452 00:47:18,744 --> 00:47:22,790 Wouldn't have thought you were so sentimental about it, 453 00:47:22,790 --> 00:47:24,708 from what I've heard of her cooking. 454 00:47:31,173 --> 00:47:33,342 You'll have to put yourself to bed. 455 00:47:33,342 --> 00:47:36,512 - Where are you going? - Out! 456 00:47:36,512 --> 00:47:38,514 You're going with her, aren't you? 457 00:47:40,766 --> 00:47:43,185 It's just to a whist drive. 458 00:47:43,185 --> 00:47:46,438 - I have to have some life of my own. - With Mrs Potter? 459 00:47:49,483 --> 00:47:52,194 It's just a social occasion. 460 00:47:52,194 --> 00:47:54,405 Please, Dad, don't leave me on my own. 461 00:47:56,824 --> 00:47:59,201 You'll be fine, Nigel. 462 00:50:38,527 --> 00:50:40,362 'Hello. 463 00:50:42,030 --> 00:50:46,994 'Joan, is that you? Is Joan Potter there?' 464 00:52:13,997 --> 00:52:18,794 - I don't see why she has to come. - Look, there's nothing wrong with me inviting Mrs Potter. 465 00:52:18,794 --> 00:52:21,255 This is the Masonic event of the season. 466 00:52:21,255 --> 00:52:22,965 Dad, she's our cleaner. 467 00:52:22,965 --> 00:52:25,175 I mean, look where she lives. 468 00:52:25,175 --> 00:52:28,554 - Look, Joan has been very good to us. - She lives in a council house. 469 00:52:28,554 --> 00:52:32,349 - Where she lives is of no consequence. - It's not right. 470 00:52:32,349 --> 00:52:37,104 She should be inside with her husband, not coming out with us to Masonic dances. 471 00:52:37,104 --> 00:52:39,773 You're the one who didn't want to be left on their own! 472 00:52:39,773 --> 00:52:45,028 Now, you don't understand anything about Mrs Potter's personal arrangements. 473 00:52:45,028 --> 00:52:47,156 Anyway, she's got nothing to hide. 474 00:52:47,156 --> 00:52:49,032 She's a very respectable woman. 475 00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:52,453 Bugger, bugger, bugger. 476 00:52:54,496 --> 00:52:56,874 Bleedin' duck. 477 00:53:11,263 --> 00:53:14,349 I've laddered me tights on that bleedin' wall. Bugger. 478 00:53:14,349 --> 00:53:18,312 Come on, darling. Let's get a move on before anyone clocks us. 479 00:53:20,147 --> 00:53:23,358 - Oh, hello, Nigel. - Hello. - Well, how lovely. 480 00:53:23,358 --> 00:53:25,402 The three of us all together. 481 00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:45,339 Hello. Have you met Joan? Joan Potter. Ruby Sturridge. 482 00:53:45,339 --> 00:53:47,674 - Nice to meet you. - She's our cleaner. 483 00:53:47,674 --> 00:53:49,009 Oh. 484 00:53:58,394 --> 00:54:00,104 Oh, yes. 485 00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:02,523 I find Vim a very superior scourer. 486 00:54:02,523 --> 00:54:07,277 Though I've been very impressed with the new version of Mr Sheen. Do you know of it? 487 00:54:07,277 --> 00:54:09,738 Don't you find aerosols so very convenient? 488 00:54:09,738 --> 00:54:12,616 Compared to Jif Cream they really are superb. 489 00:54:12,616 --> 00:54:16,203 I use bicarb on milk stains. Only thing that gets rid of the stench. 490 00:54:16,203 --> 00:54:19,164 Nothing worse than curdled milk sweating away in the carpets. 491 00:54:19,164 --> 00:54:23,544 No. Trust me, you've got a spillage, bicarb is the way to go. 492 00:54:23,544 --> 00:54:26,046 Joan, do eat. 493 00:54:26,046 --> 00:54:28,424 - No, watching me weight. - Can I have yours? 494 00:54:41,603 --> 00:54:46,900 Yes, we were at Alderman Cartwright's for a function, only recently. 495 00:54:46,900 --> 00:54:51,280 Oh, yes? I know the person that cleans for him, of course. 496 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:54,116 Not great personal hygiene... 497 00:54:54,116 --> 00:54:56,201 or so they tell me. 498 00:54:56,201 --> 00:54:58,495 Very rarely cleans his windows. 499 00:55:00,664 --> 00:55:02,750 Oh, Brian. Excuse me. 500 00:55:02,750 --> 00:55:04,710 I do mine meself, of course. 501 00:55:04,710 --> 00:55:09,131 Can't beat a chamois leather. Never be without my Windolene. 502 00:55:09,131 --> 00:55:14,219 - Do you have a favourite disinfectant, Mrs Sturridge? - I can't say I know. 503 00:55:14,219 --> 00:55:17,765 I'd have to ask Mrs Miller, our housekeeper. 504 00:55:17,765 --> 00:55:20,768 Oh. 505 00:55:20,768 --> 00:55:23,562 You might want to ask her to take a look at that stain. 506 00:55:23,562 --> 00:55:27,357 - Although not much is going to get that out. - Oh, bugger! 507 00:55:28,609 --> 00:55:30,319 Would you like to dance? 508 00:55:30,319 --> 00:55:32,154 I'd love to. Come on. 509 00:55:32,154 --> 00:55:33,655 Hang on. 510 00:55:35,574 --> 00:55:38,535 Bit of Dutch. 511 00:55:38,535 --> 00:55:40,120 Won't be long. 512 00:55:56,220 --> 00:55:58,806 He must pay very good overtime. 513 00:56:00,516 --> 00:56:05,187 Do you know, I've never seen your Dad dance before. 514 00:56:05,187 --> 00:56:09,483 - That's probably a blessing. - Do you think I should try and stop them? 515 00:56:09,483 --> 00:56:11,276 There's very little you can do. 516 00:56:11,276 --> 00:56:15,489 She might be common, but there's nothing she doesn't know about cleaning products. 517 00:56:15,489 --> 00:56:18,826 If I was you, I'd just try to enjoy the food. 518 00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:45,811 Mind you, they had lovely flowers in the ladies loo. 519 00:56:47,563 --> 00:56:50,607 I think it was to cover the smell of the urinals. 520 00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:53,235 But what a fantastic time, eh? 521 00:56:54,695 --> 00:56:57,239 Thanks for coming, Joan. 522 00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,992 No, thank you. 523 00:57:03,829 --> 00:57:06,373 Is this all right for you here? 524 00:57:06,373 --> 00:57:10,335 Yeah. Best be on the safe side. 525 00:57:10,335 --> 00:57:15,632 See you, flower. Are you all right, love? 526 00:57:15,632 --> 00:57:18,594 I'm fine. Please, just go home, Mrs Potter. 527 00:57:18,594 --> 00:57:22,389 Yeah, I will. I'll go home. 528 00:57:35,110 --> 00:57:37,237 Would you get in the front now, Nigel? 529 00:57:41,408 --> 00:57:43,577 What do you think of Joan, then, Nigel? 530 00:57:43,577 --> 00:57:46,330 Mrs Potter? 531 00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:49,917 I think in some ways she's quite like your mother. 532 00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:52,711 She's nothing like my mother. 533 00:57:54,797 --> 00:57:56,465 Look, Nigel... 534 00:57:58,175 --> 00:58:00,219 I loved your mother. 535 00:58:00,219 --> 00:58:04,056 And I will always love your mother. 536 00:58:04,056 --> 00:58:06,225 But sometimes things change. 537 00:58:07,935 --> 00:58:09,395 Life moves on. 538 00:58:11,271 --> 00:58:15,943 - We have to accept that. - I don't mind change. 539 00:58:15,943 --> 00:58:19,696 I don't mind moving on. I just don't like Mrs Potter. 540 00:58:19,696 --> 00:58:22,116 Give her a chance. 541 00:58:22,116 --> 00:58:25,285 You don't know what it's like on those estates. 542 00:58:30,541 --> 00:58:33,544 I don't care where she comes from. 543 00:58:33,544 --> 00:58:35,129 I just hate her. 544 00:58:35,129 --> 00:58:36,672 I just... 545 00:58:39,675 --> 00:58:43,220 Oh, for Pete's sake. 546 00:58:47,850 --> 00:58:50,185 Oh! 547 00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,322 She was dancing with your Dad? 548 00:59:02,322 --> 00:59:05,701 - I think she'd have been kissing him if I hadn't been there. - Urgh. 549 00:59:05,701 --> 00:59:08,746 Maybe it's just a phase, cos he's upset about your mum. 550 00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:14,334 I don't even think he thinks about her any more. Plus, she's a brilliant cook. 551 00:59:14,334 --> 00:59:16,003 I wouldn't worry about it. 552 00:59:16,003 --> 00:59:22,009 - Her husband will find out, thump your Dad and get another cleaner. - You reckon? 553 00:59:22,009 --> 00:59:24,136 That's what happened to Uncle Harry. 554 00:59:24,136 --> 00:59:28,390 - So, you don't think it's serious, then? - Don't be stupid. 555 00:59:28,390 --> 00:59:30,893 You've got absolutely nothing to worry about. 556 00:59:30,893 --> 00:59:34,229 Come on, Nigel! 557 00:59:34,229 --> 00:59:36,231 Where are we going? 558 00:59:36,231 --> 00:59:37,858 You'll see. 559 00:59:37,858 --> 00:59:39,318 It's a surprise. 560 00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:02,091 Nigel, I know it's been difficult since your mum died, 561 01:00:02,091 --> 01:00:05,552 but you've been very patient, 562 01:00:05,552 --> 01:00:07,679 haven't you? - Are we nearly there yet? 563 01:00:07,679 --> 01:00:09,765 And it's just, I've been thinking... 564 01:00:12,101 --> 01:00:17,439 ..it might be better for all of us if we made a new start of everything. 565 01:00:17,439 --> 01:00:19,983 What do you mean, "a new start"? 566 01:00:19,983 --> 01:00:25,531 Well, it's just... since your mum died, 567 01:00:25,531 --> 01:00:29,493 everything got off on the wrong footing. 568 01:00:29,493 --> 01:00:33,497 - That's all. - So we can get a new cleaner? 569 01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:36,125 No, no, we don't need a new cleaner. 570 01:00:37,710 --> 01:00:42,381 Joan is not the... Mrs Potter is not the problem here. 571 01:01:01,024 --> 01:01:02,901 Is this it? 572 01:01:04,361 --> 01:01:05,946 It's beautiful, isn't it? 573 01:01:07,573 --> 01:01:11,160 Imagine living here. No neighbours. 574 01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:15,622 Perfect seclusion. Wonderful country views. 575 01:01:15,622 --> 01:01:19,835 - Dad, what's going on? - Nothing, nothing. Only saying. 576 01:01:19,835 --> 01:01:24,173 - It's got a septic tank and everything. - Dad, who lives here? 577 01:01:25,507 --> 01:01:27,468 Well, actually... 578 01:01:27,468 --> 01:01:29,011 we do. 579 01:01:29,011 --> 01:01:32,765 What do you mean?! All the stuff's coming this afternoon. 580 01:01:32,765 --> 01:01:35,559 But what about school? What about Warrel? 581 01:01:35,559 --> 01:01:38,896 - I mean, it's miles from anywhere. - You'll get used to it, Nigel. 582 01:01:38,896 --> 01:01:42,900 I don't want to get used to it. We can't move here. 583 01:01:42,900 --> 01:01:46,945 - What about Mrs Potter? - Look, everything's going to be all right, Nigel. 584 01:01:46,945 --> 01:01:49,281 It's not the end of the world. 585 01:01:49,281 --> 01:01:52,409 What could possibly be worse than moving here? 586 01:01:52,409 --> 01:01:55,245 Ah! Nigel! Woo-hoo! 587 01:01:55,245 --> 01:01:56,663 Sweetie! 588 01:01:56,663 --> 01:01:58,373 Say hello to your Auntie Joan. 589 01:01:58,373 --> 01:02:00,876 You can call me Joanie, if you like. 590 01:02:11,428 --> 01:02:13,180 Agh! 591 01:02:13,180 --> 01:02:15,641 I knew it was a bad idea not to tell him. 592 01:02:17,559 --> 01:02:19,353 I'll deal with this. 593 01:02:54,012 --> 01:02:58,016 Look, I know this is all a bit of a shock for you. 594 01:02:58,016 --> 01:03:00,144 I know it's very hard. 595 01:03:00,144 --> 01:03:01,937 I can never replace your mother. 596 01:03:07,526 --> 01:03:10,738 But I know what it feels like to be alone. 597 01:03:14,950 --> 01:03:17,411 I'm not your enemy, Nigel. 598 01:03:17,411 --> 01:03:21,582 I want to put all that bad feeling behind us, 599 01:03:21,582 --> 01:03:24,460 make a fresh start here, 600 01:03:24,460 --> 01:03:26,045 the three of us. 601 01:03:30,174 --> 01:03:32,426 Mmm? 602 01:03:32,426 --> 01:03:34,053 Give us a chance here. 603 01:03:35,888 --> 01:03:37,931 Come on. 604 01:03:37,931 --> 01:03:40,768 We can make this work. 605 01:03:40,768 --> 01:03:42,061 Together. 606 01:03:44,063 --> 01:03:47,649 No! You're our cleaner, for God's sake, just go back to Wolverhampton! 607 01:03:47,649 --> 01:03:51,153 Now, you listen here, you spoilt little brat, 608 01:03:51,153 --> 01:03:55,407 I have given up everything to come here and look after you, all right? 609 01:03:55,407 --> 01:03:58,285 I will be lynched if I ever go back to Wolverhampton. 610 01:03:58,285 --> 01:04:00,079 So, let's cut the dogs doo-da, hey? 611 01:04:00,079 --> 01:04:03,165 You're just going to have to sodding well get used to it, 612 01:04:03,165 --> 01:04:07,086 or I'll make your every waking hour a complete blinking misery! Capiche? 613 01:04:07,086 --> 01:04:08,921 Everything all right? 614 01:04:08,921 --> 01:04:13,133 Yeah! Course, darling! 615 01:04:16,512 --> 01:04:19,264 I think we've sorted everything out, haven't we, Nigel? 616 01:04:34,738 --> 01:04:38,784 She may not be your mother, Nigel, but she's a bloomin' good cook. 617 01:04:38,784 --> 01:04:42,830 Well, as they used to say in Wolverhampton, bon appeti-ti! 618 01:04:53,048 --> 01:04:56,093 Well, as they used to say in Wolverhampton, bon appeti-ti! 619 01:05:14,027 --> 01:05:16,613 All done? 620 01:05:16,613 --> 01:05:19,950 That was absolutely delicious, darling. 621 01:05:21,493 --> 01:05:23,746 Nigel, help Joan with the dishes. 622 01:05:23,746 --> 01:05:28,375 - I've got a book to finish for school. - No buts, Nigel, give Joan a hand. 623 01:05:42,890 --> 01:05:47,770 - Oh, Nigel Slater, nice bag! - Give it back! 624 01:05:47,770 --> 01:05:51,690 Now, as it's the start of a new term, you all need to pick one option. 625 01:05:54,151 --> 01:05:56,236 Slater, pay attention. 626 01:05:56,236 --> 01:05:58,906 Now, hands up for woodwork. 627 01:06:02,201 --> 01:06:04,286 Home economics. 628 01:06:10,417 --> 01:06:13,003 Are you serious? 629 01:06:15,255 --> 01:06:22,012 Ah, are you going to have them later with your mummy and daddy? 630 01:07:08,142 --> 01:07:10,352 Oh, hello, Nigel. 631 01:07:10,352 --> 01:07:13,313 - What are you doing in there? - Nothing. 632 01:07:20,779 --> 01:07:22,614 Absolutely delicious. 633 01:07:22,614 --> 01:07:25,868 - What's for afters? - How about a scone? 634 01:07:25,868 --> 01:07:27,995 A scone? 635 01:07:27,995 --> 01:07:29,913 And a nice cup of tea? 636 01:07:29,913 --> 01:07:31,915 Is he OK? 637 01:07:34,334 --> 01:07:39,006 - Where the hell did they come from? - Made them, earlier. 638 01:07:39,006 --> 01:07:41,383 What do you mean, you made them, earlier? 639 01:07:41,383 --> 01:07:45,721 At school. Taste one. But I've made a gooseberry fool. 640 01:07:45,721 --> 01:07:46,847 I'm sure it'll keep. 641 01:08:00,027 --> 01:08:01,987 Actually, they're not half bad, Nigel. 642 01:08:06,492 --> 01:08:08,827 Excellent effort. 643 01:08:08,827 --> 01:08:13,040 Does this mean you'll be doing the cooking every Wednesday from now on? 644 01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:15,834 Yes. It does, actually. 645 01:08:18,796 --> 01:08:23,467 Well done, Nigel. Mmm! 646 01:08:23,467 --> 01:08:28,430 Yeah, well done, son. 647 01:08:28,430 --> 01:08:30,432 Well done. 648 01:08:37,648 --> 01:08:41,151 Oh, very good work, Nigel! 649 01:08:41,151 --> 01:08:45,906 Oh, dear, that's very sloppy, I'm afraid. Now, this is why we should have put... 650 01:08:59,211 --> 01:09:03,006 What's all this? It's a Wednesday, I've made a shepherd's pie. 651 01:09:03,006 --> 01:09:07,177 Oh, I'm sorry, love, completely forgot. Oh, well, never mind. 652 01:09:07,177 --> 01:09:09,972 Mmm, looks delicious, darling. 653 01:09:09,972 --> 01:09:14,601 Pop it in the fridge. I'm sure it'll keep, sweetheart. 654 01:09:44,882 --> 01:09:47,009 Oh, hello, Nigel. I've made a trifle. 655 01:09:47,009 --> 01:09:48,510 Oh, Nigel, we ate early. 656 01:09:48,510 --> 01:09:51,430 Yeah, but there's some lemon meringue on the side there. 657 01:09:51,430 --> 01:09:54,516 That was the best lemon meringue pie I have ever tasted. 658 01:09:54,516 --> 01:09:58,020 Oh, thank you, I'll have to make it on a regular basis! 659 01:10:33,097 --> 01:10:37,434 That's the best lemon meringue you've ever tasted. 660 01:10:37,434 --> 01:10:40,771 That's the best lemon meringue anybody's ever tasted. 661 01:10:42,314 --> 01:10:44,900 If I was you, son, I'd give up. 662 01:10:46,443 --> 01:10:48,570 You'll never even be in the vicinity. 663 01:10:50,697 --> 01:10:53,158 What did you put in there to make it so fluffy? 664 01:10:55,619 --> 01:11:00,874 If you want to make a lemon meringue, sunshine, you're going to have to get your own recipe. 665 01:11:36,201 --> 01:11:38,954 You really have to go home now, Nigel. 666 01:12:10,736 --> 01:12:13,197 Don't you have some homework to do? 667 01:12:19,787 --> 01:12:23,582 Bugger off. More creamed potato? 668 01:12:23,582 --> 01:12:26,543 No, sweetheart, I'm s...I'm stuffed. 669 01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:29,755 I spent all afternoon on this. 670 01:12:29,755 --> 01:12:33,884 Erm, all right, then just a little bit. 671 01:12:47,272 --> 01:12:50,442 Oh, I made your favourite for afters - lemon meringue pie. 672 01:13:34,653 --> 01:13:36,739 Dad. What's that? 673 01:13:36,739 --> 01:13:38,365 - It's a lemon meringue. - What? 674 01:13:38,365 --> 01:13:39,992 I made it for you specially. 675 01:13:39,992 --> 01:13:42,494 - What for? - To eat. For a snack. 676 01:13:42,494 --> 01:13:45,080 I don't want a snack, we just had our tea. 677 01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:47,624 But I thought you loved lemon meringue pie. 678 01:13:47,624 --> 01:13:51,628 - I couldn't eat anything now. - Anyway, I've got a Victoria sponge I made earlier. 679 01:13:53,255 --> 01:13:56,467 But it's freshly baked, Dad. 680 01:13:56,467 --> 01:14:01,555 Nigel, look, I appreciate the effort but I'm not even remotely hungry. 681 01:14:01,555 --> 01:14:05,559 - Just try it. No! - I know that you'll like it. - Nigel, please. 682 01:14:05,559 --> 01:14:07,144 Take it away. 683 01:14:44,181 --> 01:14:46,308 That's my recipe. 684 01:14:46,308 --> 01:14:47,935 You bleeding well stole this. 685 01:14:47,935 --> 01:14:51,230 No, I didn't. I invented that myself. 686 01:14:51,230 --> 01:14:52,856 Mine's even got peel in it. 687 01:14:52,856 --> 01:14:55,984 I cook for you, I clean for you, 688 01:14:55,984 --> 01:15:00,656 I look after your every bleeding need and this is how you repay me? 689 01:15:00,656 --> 01:15:03,742 Get off my patch, matey, 690 01:15:03,742 --> 01:15:08,956 cos I do the lemon meringues around here, you ungrateful little turd. 691 01:15:08,956 --> 01:15:12,126 I think you're getting this out of perspective. 692 01:15:12,126 --> 01:15:16,046 - He didn't even try any. - Perspective? I'll give you a bleeding perspective. 693 01:15:17,631 --> 01:15:19,675 And you can clean that up! 694 01:15:21,927 --> 01:15:24,513 What on earth did you say to her? 695 01:15:24,513 --> 01:15:27,266 I didn't say anything, she's mad. You have to get rid of her, Dad. 696 01:15:27,266 --> 01:15:29,977 I've asked Mrs Potter to marry me. 697 01:15:29,977 --> 01:15:32,312 - Marry you? - You're going to have to accept that. 698 01:15:32,312 --> 01:15:34,940 - Or? - Or we're going to have to put you into care. 699 01:15:38,318 --> 01:15:42,573 We can't go on like this. Joan.... 700 01:16:00,257 --> 01:16:05,220 Thanks for the cake, Nigel. A lovely gesture. 701 01:16:07,306 --> 01:16:12,352 Yeah, it's really not that bad for a first attempt. 702 01:16:12,352 --> 01:16:13,771 Everybody loves the food. 703 01:16:13,771 --> 01:16:15,689 My meat puffs are going like hot cakes. 704 01:16:15,689 --> 01:16:18,108 Not much of a crowd. 705 01:16:18,108 --> 01:16:20,611 It's good that Sheila's shown up. 706 01:16:20,611 --> 01:16:23,113 Would you like a vol-au-vent? I made them myself. 707 01:16:23,113 --> 01:16:25,032 Are you all right, Dad? 708 01:16:25,032 --> 01:16:27,826 Yes, just a bit...tight that's all. 709 01:16:27,826 --> 01:16:32,331 Funny, it was all right at the fitting. Oh! 710 01:16:35,376 --> 01:16:37,920 Hey, you must be pleased to have a new mum. 711 01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:39,922 Not really. 712 01:16:39,922 --> 01:16:44,093 She might have a heart of ice, son, but she puts on a damn fine spread. 713 01:16:44,093 --> 01:16:47,262 Her husband's lost two stone since she moved out. 714 01:16:47,262 --> 01:16:48,931 That'll do for later. 715 01:16:54,853 --> 01:16:57,398 An absolute nightmare, 716 01:16:57,398 --> 01:17:01,235 but a bloody good baker, I think she could've been a professional. 717 01:17:01,235 --> 01:17:02,861 I made this, actually. 718 01:17:04,571 --> 01:17:08,200 Well. if it all gets too much, son, you can always go into catering. 719 01:17:15,374 --> 01:17:17,501 Wait, wait! No, no, no, no, no. 720 01:17:17,501 --> 01:17:21,714 What are you doing? No, Alan, no! 721 01:17:21,714 --> 01:17:23,632 No, you can't do that! 722 01:17:23,632 --> 01:17:25,342 No, come on, get up there. 723 01:17:26,969 --> 01:17:28,929 Let's get you up to the bedroom. 724 01:17:28,929 --> 01:17:32,933 That's where we can, you know, get your old pyjamas on. Good man. 725 01:17:32,933 --> 01:17:35,227 Come on, Mrs Slater. 726 01:17:39,273 --> 01:17:40,774 Come on! 727 01:17:40,774 --> 01:17:43,485 Come on, up we get. 728 01:18:32,618 --> 01:18:35,662 - 16? - I'm only looking for a Saturday job. 729 01:18:35,662 --> 01:18:38,457 I just want to get out of the house, really. 730 01:18:38,457 --> 01:18:43,253 I'm very good, honest. I've read the complete works of Marguerite Patten and everything. 731 01:18:46,673 --> 01:18:48,675 Duck a l'orange, 732 01:18:48,675 --> 01:18:54,223 boeuf bourguignon, veal cordon bleu, that's the most expensive. 733 01:18:54,223 --> 01:18:57,351 You can feel the duck because of the bones. 734 01:18:57,351 --> 01:19:00,979 This is sophisticated cooking, Nigel. 735 01:19:00,979 --> 01:19:04,358 So this is where the magic happens. 736 01:19:04,358 --> 01:19:06,193 Whack it up, bung it in, 20 minutes. 737 01:19:06,193 --> 01:19:10,072 Now, if it hasn't got a label on, just chuck it in anyway. 738 01:19:10,072 --> 01:19:15,119 Now, I know it all seems a bit complicated at first but you'll soon get the hang of it. 739 01:20:15,054 --> 01:20:17,139 Who was that? 740 01:20:17,139 --> 01:20:19,183 The owner's son from upstairs. 741 01:20:19,183 --> 01:20:24,772 You want to watch him. Apparently, he's training to be a ballerina. 742 01:20:41,830 --> 01:20:45,084 - Really, I can't eat these. - I just cooked them. 743 01:20:45,084 --> 01:20:47,211 Well, we just had supper an hour ago. 744 01:20:47,211 --> 01:20:50,214 Just leave them there. You might get peckish. 745 01:20:54,968 --> 01:20:57,888 Oh, please, try to relax, dear. 746 01:21:10,901 --> 01:21:14,279 - What are you doing? - Oh nothing, just watch the telly, don't mind me. 747 01:21:14,279 --> 01:21:16,156 Where have you been? 748 01:21:16,156 --> 01:21:18,075 Nowhere. Out with some mates. 749 01:21:18,075 --> 01:21:20,953 You haven't got any mates. 750 01:21:20,953 --> 01:21:23,539 I got a part time job helping out at the Green Dragon. 751 01:21:23,539 --> 01:21:26,542 - What, the pub with the restaurant? - Just on Saturdays. 752 01:21:28,836 --> 01:21:31,839 - How much are they paying you? - She didn't say. 753 01:21:34,383 --> 01:21:37,845 I thought you'd be pleased I was out from under your feet for a bit. 754 01:21:37,845 --> 01:21:39,847 Uh-huh, yeah. 755 01:21:39,847 --> 01:21:41,974 No, you don't. 756 01:21:41,974 --> 01:21:45,394 Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I was born yesterday? 757 01:21:45,394 --> 01:21:47,646 I know what you're up to. 758 01:21:47,646 --> 01:21:51,108 Well, two can play at that game, sunshine. 759 01:21:51,108 --> 01:21:53,068 I'll give you boeuf bourguignon. 760 01:21:53,068 --> 01:21:56,405 Tomorrow, we'll have duck a l'orange or should it be coq au vin? 761 01:21:56,405 --> 01:21:59,533 And then some moules mariniere. Oh yeah, I can do foreign muck, as well. 762 01:21:59,533 --> 01:22:02,536 - And that's just for starters. - Joan! - I don't know what you're on about. 763 01:22:02,536 --> 01:22:06,248 Quiches, tortes, omelettes, seafood, souffles, the bleeding lot. 764 01:22:06,248 --> 01:22:08,375 In fact, I think I'll just rustle up a tarte tatin. 765 01:22:08,375 --> 01:22:11,211 That's a caramelised apple pie in case you're wondering! 766 01:22:11,211 --> 01:22:13,172 Just stop it! 767 01:22:13,172 --> 01:22:15,215 Enough is enough. 768 01:22:15,215 --> 01:22:18,719 Enough fighting, enough food. 769 01:22:21,221 --> 01:22:25,142 Will you just please try to get on? 770 01:22:27,686 --> 01:22:29,688 This is miserable. 771 01:22:45,329 --> 01:22:46,914 I'm sorry, Dad. 772 01:22:51,168 --> 01:22:53,670 Oh, just go away, Nigel. 773 01:23:32,042 --> 01:23:34,336 Are you all right? 774 01:23:34,336 --> 01:23:36,004 Er, yes. 775 01:23:36,004 --> 01:23:40,676 Yes...perfectly fine. 776 01:23:40,676 --> 01:23:43,178 Thanks very much. 777 01:23:43,178 --> 01:23:45,764 Thank you. 778 01:24:08,662 --> 01:24:10,706 Mavis! 779 01:24:10,706 --> 01:24:12,207 Hello? 780 01:24:15,502 --> 01:24:17,296 You're Nigel, aren't you? 781 01:24:17,296 --> 01:24:20,174 The Fanny Cradock of Knightswick Lane. 782 01:24:20,174 --> 01:24:23,135 Not any more. My dad stopped me coming. 783 01:24:23,135 --> 01:24:25,763 To be honest, I only came to get out of the house. 784 01:24:25,763 --> 01:24:30,392 - Though I think I'd like to be a cook eventually. - How come you know so much about it? 785 01:24:30,392 --> 01:24:31,685 I don't, really. 786 01:24:31,685 --> 01:24:35,105 My granny was French, I just picked a few things up on holiday. 787 01:24:35,105 --> 01:24:37,566 They've got a very good attitude, the French. 788 01:24:37,566 --> 01:24:40,652 - Like Marguerite Patten. - Marguerite Patten is from High Barnet. 789 01:24:40,652 --> 01:24:45,366 They follow their instincts. 790 01:24:45,366 --> 01:24:47,159 Let's get out of here. 791 01:24:47,159 --> 01:24:52,831 That's the trouble with everyone round here, they're all so hidebound. 792 01:24:52,831 --> 01:24:55,793 If you don't get out, you'll turn into your parents. 793 01:24:56,877 --> 01:24:58,796 How long have you lived here? 794 01:24:58,796 --> 01:25:02,549 A few years. We moved from Wolverhampton. 795 01:25:02,549 --> 01:25:05,719 Oh, the culinary capital of the Midlands! 796 01:25:05,719 --> 01:25:07,805 What made you want to be a chef? 797 01:25:07,805 --> 01:25:11,683 Don't know, really. I just like it. 798 01:25:11,683 --> 01:25:13,477 Somehow it feels quite natural. 799 01:25:13,477 --> 01:25:16,939 How did you know you wanted to be a ballet dancer? 800 01:25:16,939 --> 01:25:22,152 I don't. I only agreed to go down there so I could get away from them. 801 01:25:22,152 --> 01:25:24,363 So you don't want to be a ballet dancer? 802 01:25:24,363 --> 01:25:27,741 God, no. I don't have a clue what I want to be. 803 01:25:32,579 --> 01:25:36,291 - How the hell do you stand it here? - I don't have much choice. 804 01:25:37,876 --> 01:25:39,920 You've every choice in the world. 805 01:25:39,920 --> 01:25:45,509 You just got to be brave. You can be anything you want to be. 806 01:25:45,509 --> 01:25:49,972 - Do you think? - Sure. 807 01:25:49,972 --> 01:25:51,598 If you've got the nerve. 808 01:25:53,517 --> 01:25:56,103 You just have to be prepared to risk something. 809 01:26:25,132 --> 01:26:27,634 See? 810 01:26:27,634 --> 01:26:29,762 You can be anything you want to be. 811 01:26:31,472 --> 01:26:34,475 Come on, Elizabeth David, we better be getting back. 812 01:26:40,439 --> 01:26:41,899 Stuart! 813 01:26:44,151 --> 01:26:46,070 Wait! 814 01:26:50,199 --> 01:26:51,575 Stuart! 815 01:26:53,660 --> 01:26:54,912 - See you. - Come on! 816 01:26:56,121 --> 01:27:00,459 - Can I see you tomorrow? - Tough tits, big ears. 817 01:27:00,459 --> 01:27:04,463 I've got to be in White Lodge in the morning. What? Term starts on Monday. 818 01:27:04,463 --> 01:27:08,675 Come on! Don't worry, sweetheart, you'll find someone else to play with. 819 01:27:08,675 --> 01:27:11,720 Please. Don't leave me here alone. 820 01:27:17,810 --> 01:27:19,686 You'll be all right, Nige. 821 01:27:30,906 --> 01:27:34,076 - Who's that? - That's Nigel. He used to work in the restaurant. 822 01:27:47,506 --> 01:27:50,592 Dad?! Hello? 823 01:27:56,932 --> 01:27:59,852 I told him to leave it. I told him we'd get a gardener. 824 01:27:59,852 --> 01:28:03,105 I said leave it till next week. 825 01:28:05,149 --> 01:28:06,817 He hadn't even eaten properly. 826 01:28:06,817 --> 01:28:10,696 - What's happened? - I told him, Nigel. I told him. He just wouldn't listen. 827 01:28:10,696 --> 01:28:13,198 Mrs Potter, what's going on? 828 01:28:13,198 --> 01:28:14,825 He's gone. 829 01:28:14,825 --> 01:28:19,371 One minute he was there with the mower, and the next minute he wasn't. 830 01:28:19,371 --> 01:28:21,415 What do you mean "he's gone"? 831 01:28:23,584 --> 01:28:25,252 He's dead, darling. 832 01:28:28,797 --> 01:28:31,633 We're on our own now, son. 833 01:28:33,218 --> 01:28:34,803 Oh, my poor darling. 834 01:28:37,139 --> 01:28:40,476 Don't worry. I'll look after you. 835 01:28:40,476 --> 01:28:43,270 We're going to get through this together. 836 01:28:43,270 --> 01:28:45,355 We'll both cook together. 837 01:28:45,355 --> 01:28:47,941 Lovely, healthy dishes. 838 01:28:47,941 --> 01:28:52,988 We'll cook a lemon meringue. Every year. In commemoration. 839 01:29:07,544 --> 01:29:09,505 You did this. 840 01:29:55,843 --> 01:29:58,929 Nigel! Nigel! 841 01:30:02,641 --> 01:30:05,394 Nigel! Let me in! 842 01:30:08,480 --> 01:30:13,694 Please, Nigel! Open the door! Talk to me! Nigel! 843 01:30:16,822 --> 01:30:19,908 Nigel, come on, son! 844 01:30:19,908 --> 01:30:21,618 Let me in, love. 845 01:30:21,618 --> 01:30:25,456 Son, come on! 846 01:30:28,208 --> 01:30:32,421 - I brought you a cup of tea and a nice bit of cake. - I don't want it. 847 01:30:32,421 --> 01:30:36,884 And I don't have to have it. I don't want you in my life any more 848 01:30:36,884 --> 01:30:40,721 Aw, no, you're just upset. What you doing? 849 01:30:40,721 --> 01:30:43,599 Nigel. Talk to me, son. 850 01:30:43,599 --> 01:30:45,726 Talk to me! 851 01:30:47,061 --> 01:30:50,981 You won. I don't have to see you ever again. 852 01:30:52,524 --> 01:30:54,902 - I'm your mother! - You're nobody. 853 01:30:57,279 --> 01:30:59,365 No, wait! Stop! 854 01:31:00,824 --> 01:31:06,205 You're too young! I'm ordering you! Nigel! Slater! Stop this right now! 855 01:31:06,205 --> 01:31:08,082 I said now! 856 01:31:09,708 --> 01:31:12,294 Nigel, you can't leave me on me own here! 857 01:31:12,294 --> 01:31:14,922 You're the only thing I've got! 858 01:31:14,922 --> 01:31:18,342 I'll make up for everything. I'll cook anything you want me to. 859 01:31:18,342 --> 01:31:21,637 Please, Nigel, say something to me. 860 01:31:21,637 --> 01:31:23,389 Thank you. 861 01:31:23,389 --> 01:31:27,184 What do you mean, thank you? 862 01:31:27,184 --> 01:31:29,645 What do you mean, thank you?! 863 01:31:31,438 --> 01:31:34,441 What do you mean?! 864 01:31:34,441 --> 01:31:38,904 Nigel! Come back, Nigel! 865 01:31:38,904 --> 01:31:41,031 Nigel Slater! Come back here now! 866 01:31:48,539 --> 01:31:51,375 - So, how old are you really? - 17. 867 01:31:51,375 --> 01:31:54,336 - But you have worked in a kitchen? - Yeah. 868 01:31:54,336 --> 01:31:56,255 I do a very good lemon meringue. 869 01:31:56,255 --> 01:31:58,549 That's what they all say, sunshine. 870 01:32:06,181 --> 01:32:09,143 - All right, you're on. - Are you sure? 871 01:32:25,075 --> 01:32:28,162 You're going to be fine. You're really going to be fine.