1 00:00:00,170 --> 00:00:04,070 All right, everybody, let's have a warm welcome for the cast of CBS's new hit 2 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,150 sitcom, Hello, Dickie! 3 00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:10,190 Playing Dickie's dad, Raymond Lenny! 4 00:00:14,470 --> 00:00:17,450 Playing Dickie's brother, Richard Fittimar Black! 5 00:00:20,530 --> 00:00:24,450 Playing Dickie's ex -wife and boss, Sybil Sheridan! 6 00:00:31,050 --> 00:00:34,930 And playing Dickie Johnson, making his triumphant return to television, the 7 00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:37,410 master of comedy, the one and only Mr. 8 00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:38,770 Dick Van Patten! 9 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:43,310 Thank 10 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:50,450 you 11 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:53,910 so much for taking a chance on me. You deserve it. I just hope you're ready to 12 00:00:53,910 --> 00:00:54,910 be rich and famous. 13 00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:56,670 Well, I'm willing to give it a shot. 14 00:00:57,430 --> 00:00:59,250 Let's hear it for the cast of Hello, Dickie! 15 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,499 Love Dickie. 16 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,720 I don't know how I'm going to do the show without him. 17 00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:46,320 What do you mean it's canceled? 18 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,300 Just because he's dead? 19 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:53,480 Come on, we can work around that. We'll say his character went out of town and 20 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,560 call it Dickie's family. 21 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,020 Or prop him up on the couch and call it Dickie's napping. 22 00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,060 What? 23 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:02,360 It's only television. 24 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,860 But they're still going to pay me for the rest of the season, right? 25 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,860 But I have a contract and I've already spent the money. 26 00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:14,110 Well, I had my car fixed and my roof was leaking, so I'm getting it retiled. 27 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,470 They have to pay me. 28 00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,470 They don't have to pay me? 29 00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:19,270 Act of God? 30 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,070 Oh, God. Hold on. 31 00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,410 Stop! Stop the work! 32 00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:31,550 Problem? Yes. I just found out I can't afford this. 33 00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,050 Interesting. 34 00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:34,670 Okay, pack it up. 35 00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:45,250 You can't leave me with no roof. At least put the old broken tiles back on. 36 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:45,989 could do that. 37 00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:47,070 For 2 ,000 bucks. 38 00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:49,870 How about some homemade banana bread? 39 00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:52,570 Okay. Saddle up. 40 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:19,040 good reason why sybil can't have her own show arthur arthur i said 41 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:25,020 one all right let's do lunch listen to me arthur you find a job for me you find 42 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:31,880 it fast what do you mean how you're an agent figure it out that's telling him 43 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,580 marianne there's a lesson to be learned here never pick an agent off a matchbook 44 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:39,280 cover you're gonna be okay pal 45 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,360 I was Brenda Depp Peter's understudy for three years on Broadway. 46 00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:45,660 Did she die? 47 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:49,960 No. I was first runner -up to Sissy Eubanks in the Miss Teenage America 48 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:50,879 Did she die? 49 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:51,880 No. 50 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,240 Now that I really need somebody to live, what happens? 51 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,600 He dies. 52 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,800 Croaks faster than a frog in a frying pan. 53 00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:01,040 Cox, you're up, so you lost a job. 54 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,560 You've lost jobs before. 55 00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,280 Lots of jobs. 56 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:09,740 You're constantly losing jobs. 57 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,430 Thanks, Maria. I feel better now. 58 00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:15,930 Well, if you really want to feel better, you need to pick yourself up, dust 59 00:04:15,930 --> 00:04:18,649 yourself off, and go buy something ridiculously expensive. 60 00:04:19,329 --> 00:04:21,930 Don't you understand what it means when a person has no money? 61 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,990 Of course I do. It means you need to go to the bank and get some more. 62 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:27,010 There is no more. 63 00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:28,850 The series was going to get me out of the hole. 64 00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:32,530 Now I've spent money I won't get from a job I don't have on a roof that's not 65 00:04:32,530 --> 00:04:35,570 there. Well, if that's all that's bothering you, why don't I give you some 66 00:04:35,570 --> 00:04:37,230 money? I have scads, you know. 67 00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:39,610 Here you are. 68 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:43,680 I can't take your money. Don't think of it as my money. Think of it as my ex 69 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,720 -husband's life's blood. 70 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:53,000 I really appreciate the offer, but... I 71 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,180 promise I'll pay you back. 72 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:58,060 Don't worry about it. But it's not a gift. It's a loan. 73 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,500 A loan? Oh, I don't know. You don't seem like such a good credit risk. 74 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:04,060 Seven percent interest. 75 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,159 Eight and a half. 76 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,160 Seven and a half. 77 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:07,350 I'll get my checkbook. 78 00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:10,370 And thanks for doing business at the Bank of Marriott. 79 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,250 Ha! I would have paid eight. 80 00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:17,210 Hey, how come the roof guys left? 81 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:19,570 Creative differences. 82 00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:21,650 How was school? 83 00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:23,670 Large and brick -like. 84 00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:25,990 Listen, I need $200 tomorrow. 85 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:29,830 Why? The school ski trip. Remember, I have to give them my deposit. 86 00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:32,950 Oh, yeah, I promised I'd pay for that. 87 00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:34,610 But, honey... 88 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,520 My job situation has changed. 89 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,900 It's because of that dead guy, isn't it? 90 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,880 Why can't you just do the show without him? 91 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,960 Zoe, how could you say that? 92 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,660 Listen, we just have to pull together and tighten our belt. 93 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:50,380 Is there anything I can do to help? 94 00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:53,060 How about knocking off a liquor store for old mom? 95 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,200 Don't say it if you don't mean it. 96 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,040 It'll be fine. 97 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,640 Here you go, pal. 98 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,360 Don't spend it all on one roof. 99 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,400 Oh, Marianne, I really appreciate the... 100 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:07,300 But I will pay you back. Stop, Pish. What are friends for? 101 00:06:07,940 --> 00:06:08,940 Now take me to lunch. 102 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,740 No way, you big mooch. 103 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,180 I'm not very hungry. I'll just take a small dinner salad. 104 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:21,780 Sybil, it's on me. 105 00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:25,280 Followed by a New York steak, a baked potato, and what the hell, throw in a 106 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,280 couple of lobster tails. 107 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,240 Oh, a club sandwich. Club sandwich for the gentleman and the fatty Arbuckle 108 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,240 special for the lady. 109 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,600 you don't have to buy lunch for me. No matter what Zoe said, things aren't that 110 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,620 bad. Well, I figured she was exaggerating when she claimed you didn't 111 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,620 roof over your head. 112 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,140 Well, actually, that part's true. 113 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:44,860 But I've taken care of it. 114 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:48,620 How? I've taken care of it. Come on, Sib. Where'd you get the money? 115 00:06:48,940 --> 00:06:50,200 I borrowed it from Marianne. 116 00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,100 Oh, wow. 117 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,280 Big mistake. Huge mistake. 118 00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,160 Why didn't you just go to the mafia? 119 00:06:57,140 --> 00:07:00,580 Sib, well, money and friends don't mix. Everyone knows that. Why didn't you come 120 00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:01,549 to me? 121 00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:02,550 Because I have a brain. 122 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:06,490 Didn't you ever wonder why I wouldn't take alimony from you? Of course. But 123 00:07:06,490 --> 00:07:08,670 every time I tried to bring it up, my lawyer kicked me in the shin. 124 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,410 I still can't wear Bermuda shorts. 125 00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:14,790 I didn't take alimony from you because, number one, I was working and I didn't 126 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:17,010 need it. And number two, of what it would have symbolized to you. 127 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:18,250 What are you talking about? 128 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:22,150 Look, Ira, when we got married, you moved into my house that I paid for. But 129 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,430 when you started making more money than me, you thought I gave you the right to 130 00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:27,750 call all the shots. What car we bought, where we went on vacation. 131 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,750 You even tried to tell me what drapes to pick out. 132 00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:31,290 I had a cousin in the business. 133 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,150 The point is, with you, money means control. 134 00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:36,450 That's not true. 135 00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,790 Didn't I always let you spend your allowance any way you wanted? 136 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:44,850 Let's stop talking about this before I say something I'll regret you pompous 137 00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:46,370 ass. Oops, too late. 138 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:51,410 Okay, fine. Forgive me for trying to help. I just hope you know what you're 139 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,269 doing with Mary Ann. 140 00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:53,550 Well, she's a lot of things. 141 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:54,950 Eccentric, erratic. 142 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:56,210 Vengeful, psychotic. 143 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,670 But at least I can depend on her to lend me the money with those strings 144 00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:00,670 attached. 145 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:03,350 She's not a control freak like some people I know. 146 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,170 Just put those tiles over there. 147 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:16,030 No, on second thought, I think they should go over there. 148 00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:20,270 Marianne, what? Just a minute. 149 00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,050 Funny, I never get tired of that. 150 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,490 Who are these men? What happened to the roofers I hired? Oh, I had to let them 151 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:30,590 go. You let them go? 152 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:34,429 Darling, they were gouging you, and they refused to renegotiate. So you let them 153 00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:38,150 go? Well, I thought since I really am the one who's paying for this. 154 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:40,049 Here are the color samples for the inlay. 155 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:43,370 Definitely that one. I didn't order an inlay. It's just a little embellishment. 156 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,050 A simple sunburst in baby blue. 157 00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:48,950 Sunburst? On the roof? 158 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:54,610 I got them to throw it in for free. A plain tile roof is so prefab, don't you 159 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:57,710 think? But I don't want a baby blue sunburst on my roof. 160 00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,110 I don't want anything baby blue on my roof. 161 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:01,830 Well, I suppose we could ask for pink. 162 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,490 Here I am. It's my roof. 163 00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:08,030 Let's not quibble over technicalities. Listen, your agent called. 164 00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,610 We had a very interesting chat. 165 00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:10,829 About what? 166 00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:11,830 Your career choices. 167 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:15,010 Did you actually turn down a Japanese cigarette commercial? 168 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,210 Yes, I turned down Yokohama Slim. 169 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:20,210 It is morally wrong to help sell cigarettes. 170 00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:21,610 Sybil. 171 00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:23,830 Sybil, Sybil, Sybil. 172 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,140 hardly think someone in your financial situation is in a position to have 173 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,500 What? 174 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:33,580 And another thing, I want to talk to you about your phone bill. You're never 175 00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:36,700 going to be able to pay me back if you keep accepting collect calls from every 176 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:37,780 Tom, Dick, and grandmother. 177 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,060 My phone bill is none of your business. And what are you doing opening my mail? 178 00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:45,480 Darling, you asked for financial help. I'm giving you financial help. And 179 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,600 clearly it was a mistake. I'm going to pay you back as soon as possible. 180 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,599 the paper? 181 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,600 What are you doing? 182 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,800 I'm going to find a job. 183 00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:53,119 No kidding. 184 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,120 What can you do? 185 00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:57,630 I mean, besides acting. 186 00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:02,450 Marianne, there are lots of things out there for a person like me to do. You'll 187 00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:04,890 see, this is going to take me places I've never been before. 188 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:08,610 The swordfish is an excellent choice. Would you like baked potato or rice 189 00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:11,870 Gee, let me think about that. 190 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:15,770 You'll eat what I bring you. 191 00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:20,690 Oh, waitress. 192 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,350 You're not my only customer, ma 'am. 193 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,670 I know, but the rice is a bit clumpy. 194 00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:29,950 I prefer it fluffy. 195 00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:31,190 Oh, please. 196 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,950 Allow me to fluff it up for you. 197 00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:37,929 How's that? 198 00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,730 Oh, Sybil, this is so unbecoming. 199 00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:43,070 Degrading yourself just to make a silly point. I'm not degrading myself. 200 00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:46,410 I'm working to pay you back. Besides, I really like being a waitress. 201 00:10:46,610 --> 00:10:51,770 Uh -huh, and I really like... What's that thing you do to take the wrinkles 202 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:52,770 of your clothes? 203 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:55,780 It's called ironing, Leona. 204 00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:01,580 Fibble, could you take table six? I have to do a Caesar on four. 205 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,579 I'll tell you what. 206 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:05,280 I'll trade you for the bald guy on two. He keeps trying to put his hands on my 207 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,280 ass. Oh, him? 208 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,360 It's all talk. 209 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:13,100 Look, what can I say? I love the Jurassic Park 2 script. It's just 210 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:13,899 cast a woman. 211 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:17,420 I mean, where are we going to find a blonde, funny, 40s, ex -beauty queen 212 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:18,420 completely unknown? 213 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,480 Who's a Caesar? 214 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,820 That's Steven Spielberg. 215 00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:27,250 And he's got a part that's perfect for me. I can't let him see me like this. 216 00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,350 Quick, quick, the apron, the apron. 217 00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:34,090 Okay, let's go. Here, here, wait, put this on. Oh, okay. 218 00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:37,790 Okay, all right. Okay. 219 00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:45,710 Is anyone using this chair? 220 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:47,950 No. 221 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:49,410 Good. 222 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:51,730 Look, Steve. 223 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:52,770 Excuse me. 224 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,300 Are you our waitress? I'd like some more iced tea. 225 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,600 Do I look like a waitress? 226 00:11:58,060 --> 00:11:59,060 I'm an actress. 227 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:00,680 I don't want to waste your time. 228 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,040 But I've heard the type you want for Jurassic 2. 229 00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:06,540 I'd like to point out to you that sometimes exactly what you're looking 230 00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:07,540 right under your nose. 231 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,700 You know, she's absolutely right. 232 00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:10,940 You better believe I'm right. 233 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,260 Then why are we killing ourselves looking for an unknown? 234 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,440 We just had lunch with Goldie Hawn yesterday. 235 00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:16,980 Let's use her. 236 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,640 Thanks. What were you saying? 237 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,160 I hated Hook. 238 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,120 So, how'd it go? 239 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,360 I think I got Goldie Hawn another job. 240 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,060 I just met Steven Spielberg. 241 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,800 Congratulations. I told him he was a hack. 242 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,940 Oh, my, I guess you do like waitressing. 243 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,040 Check, please. 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,000 Why don't we just take it off my tab? 245 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,520 Oh, for God's sake. Sybil, I'm sorry. 246 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,400 I was just trying to help you. 247 00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:52,510 You're the one who insisted on turning it into a business transaction. 248 00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:55,590 Were you the one who thought that meant you could turn my roof into a helipad? 249 00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:57,330 Fine, have a boring roof. 250 00:12:57,890 --> 00:13:01,270 Just take off those ridiculous clothes and let's go do something fun. 251 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,070 Come on, let's go cruising for dumb guys. 252 00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:09,270 No, things aren't the same between us. Until I pay you back, we can't be equal. 253 00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:13,950 But darling, we are equal. I just have money, status, and power while you 254 00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:16,830 have... What is that you have again? 255 00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:19,230 I have my pride. 256 00:13:20,490 --> 00:13:21,490 This tray. 257 00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:23,430 And my pride. 258 00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:25,890 And I have this job. 259 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:29,450 Sybil, I just heard. It's so unfair. 260 00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:31,090 What? 261 00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,650 Oh, you don't know, do you? 262 00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:36,530 We're out of snapper. 263 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:42,750 I'm fired, aren't I? If you hurry, you can still use your employee discount on 264 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:43,750 drinks. 265 00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:45,550 Quick, two double vodkas. 266 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:46,970 You want anything? 267 00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,559 We have a day. 268 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,499 Graveline tour. 269 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,340 We're going to ride around in a hearse and see where all those famous people 270 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,340 killed. 271 00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,460 And then I was going to take you out for yogurt. 272 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,940 Oh, sorry, Dad, but I have to work. 273 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:10,440 You got a job? Where? 274 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,820 The burger barn. 275 00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,160 Oh, paper hat job, huh? 276 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,420 What do they have you doing? 277 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,940 Hmm. What can I tell you that you can't already smell in my hair? 278 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,860 Would you like a lid on that? 279 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,120 Hey, I'm really proud. 280 00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:26,740 You weren't listening, were you? 281 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,960 It's great for a kid your age to be working. 282 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:32,280 Teaches responsibility, builds character. 283 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,620 Shortens childhood. 284 00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:36,460 I remember my first job. Oh, it was brutal. 285 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,380 Fifteen years old, working as a pool boy in the Hamptons. 286 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,520 You must still wake up screaming. 287 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,140 Hey, it may sound cushy, but those beach chairs are heavy. They were wooden back 288 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:48,400 then, not these flimsy plastic jobs they use now. 289 00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,440 We also had to wash all the towels. 290 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:51,980 I'll never complain again. 291 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,660 Hey, can I give you a ride at least? 292 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,480 Um... 293 00:14:56,630 --> 00:15:00,170 I'd rather you didn't. I told them you were dead. 294 00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,970 Sylvie, how many times have I asked you not to tell people I'm dead? 295 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,710 Well, you got me the job. 296 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:08,330 Oh, okay. But this is the last time. 297 00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:10,170 So where's your mom? 298 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:11,249 At work. 299 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,390 Where's she working this week? 300 00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:15,470 I'm not sure. She said something about working with animals. 301 00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:18,190 Jeez. I wish she'd find a job she liked. 302 00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:21,340 Well, she did like working at the post office, but then she had to quit because 303 00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,220 the guy next to her got a little jumpy. 304 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:28,060 Ah, working at the post office. That really takes me back. There was this one 305 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:33,220 guy... Dad, I'd love to hear about it, but just remember, life is finite. 306 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:48,980 Hey, Sean, pick up. 307 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,920 I got the job! 308 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,240 Yeah, that fake ID you got me worked like a charm. 309 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:56,860 So, can you give me a ride? 310 00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:58,980 Thanks. 311 00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:01,900 But don't come up to the house, okay? I'll sneak out and meet you at the 312 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:02,900 of the hill. 313 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,280 Yeah, I love you, too. 314 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,920 No, I'm not just saying that. Geez, what kind of liar do you think I am? 315 00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,050 Mighty Graham. 316 00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:24,050 Yes, you know it's your birthday. 317 00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:27,070 You know it's your birthday today. 318 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:33,410 And just because a female has to do this birthday birthday, 319 00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:38,370 have a really great birthday. 320 00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:43,010 Cheap bastard. 321 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,830 It's a jungle out here. 322 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,339 it was me. 323 00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:18,440 Process of elimination. 324 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,260 Dad's gorilla suit is at the cleaners. 325 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,900 Oh, goody! More bill! 326 00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:25,980 Pick a number from one to ten. 327 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,240 Uh, three. 328 00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:28,600 Okay. 329 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:33,740 And who's the lucky winner in the who's gonna be paid sweet steaks this week? 330 00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:35,320 The gas company! 331 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,520 Yay! 332 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,040 Here. 333 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,680 What, are you billing me now, too? 334 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800 Eighty dollars? 335 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,740 I got a job so I could pitch in. 336 00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:47,490 You got a job where? 337 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:48,910 The burger barn. 338 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,430 I sell heart disease on a bun. 339 00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:55,270 Oh, Zoe, you didn't have to do that. 340 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,390 This must be your whole paycheck. 341 00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:58,769 No, I cut the little. 342 00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:01,130 Anyway, I get a raise if I finish deep fat training. 343 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:06,850 Oh, honey, this is very sweet. Mother, you can't keep me from paying my own way 344 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,130 around here. It's important to me. 345 00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:11,270 I'd be honored. 346 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,270 I am so proud to have you as my daughter. 347 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:18,520 Mom? Yes, sweetheart? 348 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,220 I'll give you another 20 bucks if you'll stop hugging me. 349 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,640 You owe me 20 bucks. 350 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,380 I have to get to work. 351 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,340 They're letting me melt the lard tonight. 352 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,000 Zoe, see if they have any other openings. 353 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,560 Hi, Marianne. Zoe. Hi, Mom. 354 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,620 Hi. Hi, Marianne. Magilla? 355 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,960 Go ahead. Give it your best shot. I wasn't going to say a word. 356 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,600 Aren't you afraid you might get arrested for impersonating a French woman? 357 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,780 Laugh all you want, but I got $12 in tips today. 358 00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:58,980 Here, be more, but it cost a fortune to dry clean this thing. 359 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,380 Thank you. 360 00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:01,960 I have something for you, too. 361 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,160 What? 362 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:04,500 A million dollars. 363 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,700 I want to buy back our friendship. 364 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,840 You can't buy back our friendship. 365 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,520 Is this good? 366 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,600 Of course not. 367 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,920 I was trying to make a point. 368 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,320 that you can't put a price on our friendship. 369 00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:22,120 Actually not, but that's better than my point, so let's go with it. 370 00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:27,040 I feel the same way, but it doesn't change the fact that I still owe you 371 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:31,200 I'd call the damn money a gift, but I know how much it would offend you. 372 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,900 Hold on, let's not be hasty. 373 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:40,080 We can't call the loan a gift, but I could, out of friendship to you, accept 374 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,920 gift and use it to repay the loan. 375 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:43,680 Hmm. 376 00:19:43,879 --> 00:19:45,260 Convoluted, self -deceiving, irrational. 377 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,540 I'm surprised I didn't think of it. 378 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,300 Deal. 379 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,920 You're a little overdue for that dry cleaning, aren't you? 380 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,480 Oh, 381 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,880 go pong, please. 382 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,460 It's a nice little watering hole. I've never been here before. Hi, Marianne. 383 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,340 Black martini, two olives coming up. 384 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,120 Apparently I was mistaken. 385 00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:38,659 Good news. 386 00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:39,960 I got a commercial to do. 387 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,680 Congratulations! 388 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,940 But without your help, I probably would have never made it to the audition. 389 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,360 Here. What's this? 390 00:20:49,899 --> 00:20:53,900 Well, you gave me a gift, so I'm giving you a gift, and I may give you a gift 391 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:57,220 every day until my gift equals your gift, or for the rest of my natural 392 00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:58,260 whichever comes first. 393 00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:01,800 I never want anything to get in the way of our friendship. 394 00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:05,980 That could never happen, pal, because you're the gorilla in my dreams. 395 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,880 Excuse me. Your table's ready. 396 00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:12,140 Thank you. 397 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,600 Do you know what? 398 00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:15,280 The real revelation is Zoe. 399 00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:21,500 Who would have thought she'd take a crummy job at a fast food joint just to 400 00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:22,500 me out? 401 00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:28,560 She's the same. 402 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:33,120 The poor girl is probably working her fingers to the bone. 403 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,920 I'll have a burger and fries to go, please. And hold the crab.