1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,640
Your mum would've been so proud
seeing you look so grown up.

2
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:06,960
So, so proud.

3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,000
She knew you were special.

4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,960
And this week, it's time
to show the world, too.

5
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:22,937
THEY CACKLE

6
00:00:22,961 --> 00:00:24,456
Oh, my God!

7
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,936
What the fuck's that?

8
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,936
Look at the state
of this muppet!

9
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:32,776
Presenting Christopher Boniface
Sixtus the Great Bellend!

10
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,936
Whoo! LAUGHTER

11
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:34,937
I'm not gonna lie.

12
00:00:34,961 --> 00:00:38,136
You look like you're off to
buy some slaves, lad. Oh, sir!

13
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,936
Me shine shoes, sir.

14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,936
I qualified brain surgeon,

15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,936
but Rishi say I need two jobs
or they send me to Rwanda.

16
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,936
Please tell them this
my second job, sir.

17
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:48,960
Please! Please!

18
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,937
Come 'ead.

19
00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:54,936
It's careers week, boys.

20
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,296
This could be the
first step to the job

21
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,936
you're gonna do for
the rest of your lives.

22
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,936
Kind of important,
don't you think? Why?

23
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,936
Why? Because your job
gives you your purpose.

24
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,937
It's a part of your identity.

25
00:01:04,961 --> 00:01:08,296
Lad, we're not like you. We
don't think you job defines you.

26
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,936
There's Maccies Mike!

27
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,616
Oi! Mike!

28
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,936
Do us a Big Mac,
you sweaty gherkin!

29
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,937
Ha-ha-ha!

30
00:01:14,961 --> 00:01:17,936
♪ He shags gherkins

31
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,936
♪ He shags gherkins! ♪

32
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:21,937
THEY LAUGH

33
00:01:21,961 --> 00:01:24,936
See you Friday, la!

34
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,936
Look, I don't need any muppets
telling me what to do with my life.

35
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,936
I'm sorted. I'm starting a joinery
apprenticeship soon as, lad.

36
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,936
Yeah, Philibert, think about it.

37
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,936
How many doors are
there in the world?

38
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:37,937
There's always work.

39
00:01:37,961 --> 00:01:40,936
And you can work in every country,
because every country needs doors.

40
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,136
Doesn't matter how many doors
there are, you know, Reece.

41
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,960
You'll never open
one to find your dad.

42
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,960
MUSIC: 'Doorstep' by Silent-K.

43
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,960
CACKLES

44
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:56,937
God, look at him.

45
00:01:56,961 --> 00:01:58,616
Has he got no shame?

46
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,936
Hacks your TikTok and then
just runs around laughing.

47
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,936
God, is there any
point in this school

48
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:03,937
even having a careers week.

49
00:02:03,961 --> 00:02:05,936
Ha!

50
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,960
Imagine employers, like,
actually looking at their CVs.

51
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,776
Name: Lewis Connolly.

52
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,936
Achievements: National record
for most wanks in a day

53
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:16,937
and most scraps in a day.

54
00:02:16,961 --> 00:02:20,936
Wow.

55
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,296
Straighteners. Aw,
me ideal straightener

56
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,936
would defo be Vladimir
Putin, and saying,

57
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,136
"I'm not racist, lad, but..."

58
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,936
Let me do one.

59
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,936
Erm... yeah, him.

60
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,936
Name? Mo Fassi.

61
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,936
Achievements? Erm, I can
put my Goodfella's pizza

62
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,936
in the oven all by myself,
without me ma's help.

63
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,136
Hobbies? Staying up till 3am

64
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,936
watching some fella on
YouTube rate fried chicken.

65
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,616
THEY LAUGH

66
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,936
Anyways, girl, get you arse
here. It's a big week for you.

67
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,616
Er, I'm just doin' me nails.

68
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,936
I'll be there in a bit.

69
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,960
'All right, love,
I'll see you soon.'

70
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,960
Dad.

71
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,960
Dad!

72
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,136
I swear, I wasn't there!

73
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,936
Is it fair to say, Mr Duffy,

74
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,936
that you frequent that
area most evenings?

75
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,936
Yeah, but I wasn't
there that evening.

76
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,936
Is it correct, Mr Duffy, that your
previous conviction was for theft?

77
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,936
That was the biggest mistake of
me life, and I paid the price.

78
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,936
I don't even get to
see me kids any more.

79
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,616
HE SOBS

80
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:31,936
Oh, I'm sorry, Reece, I didn't
mean to hit a raw nerve.

81
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,296
LAUGHTER

82
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,296
OK. Very clever.

83
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,936
That was an example of
a cross-examination.

84
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,616
My name's Lorna,
I'm a barrister,

85
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,936
and I think it's great you're
all getting enthused about law

86
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,936
as this week, we'll be
staging a mock trial,

87
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,776
and my chambers would like
to offer a mini-pupillage

88
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,936
to the student that
shows the most potential

89
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,936
for a career in the
legal profession.

90
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,296
What's a mini-pupillage?

91
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,936
Connor's nickname
for his tiny cock.

92
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,296
It's a short work
experience placement

93
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,936
where you'll shadow myself
and attend court hearings.

94
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,136
You should defo pick me, Miss,

95
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,776
cos I am dead good at
just looking at someone

96
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,616
and knowing whether
they're a perv.

97
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,136
You wouldn't even need
to take it to trial.

98
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,936
I'll bear that in
mind. Thank you...?

99
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,937
Mia-Louise Turner.

100
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,936
Thank you, Mia-Louise.

101
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,936
OK, I have your answers here

102
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,936
to the legal question
we posed last week.

103
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,936
Barry has been charged
with manslaughter

104
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,936
after an altercation
with his friend Terry

105
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,936
ended with Terry falling
and striking his head,

106
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:28,937
causing his death.

107
00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:30,296
How would you advise Barry?

108
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,936
A lot of you gave
general advice to Barry,

109
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,136
when the question
meant legal advice.

110
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,936
"Change your name. Nobody's
called Barry any more."

111
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,936
"I heard it was a
sex game gone wrong."

112
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:39,937
LAUGHTER

113
00:04:39,961 --> 00:04:41,616
"Have you got Terry's
missus' number?"

114
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,936
"She's on the market, and
I heard she's a stunner."

115
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,136
But me two favourite
answers were Christopher,

116
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,936
who advised, "He should plead
guilty to involuntary manslaughter"

117
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,936
"for a reduced sentence,"

118
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,936
and Reece, who took a
more unorthodox approach

119
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,776
and said, "Bazza should
say he was sleepwalking."

120
00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,936
I got the idea when
Connor stayed at mine.

121
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,936
I punched him in the
head in the night

122
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,296
and said I was sleepwalking.

123
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,936
He believed me!
Classic automatism.

124
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,936
Very good, Reece.

125
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,976
Automatism is indeed
a valid legal defence.

126
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,936
So, well done to Christopher,

127
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,776
who will be the
prosecuting barrister,

128
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,960
and Reece, who will defend.

129
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,936
This is the mock trial we'll
be getting our teeth into...

130
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,936
Er, Miss? Are you messing?

131
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,136
Who cares whether Benjamin
had his bike stolen?

132
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,936
He's about 30 and still
wearing those shorts?

133
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:29,976
Nonce territory, that, Miss.

134
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,936
Yeah, can't we do something
more interesting, like?

135
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,936
We should trial Lewis for
hacking Aimee's TikTok

136
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,936
and posting a video slagging
off girls in the school,

137
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,936
so everyone thinks
she posted it.

138
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,936
Freya Moore's dad is in prison,

139
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,936
and her mum is a
drunkard crackhead,

140
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,936
but the most tragic thing about
her is still that shocking unibrow.

141
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,776
And he's still denying
it, the rat. CLAMOUR.

142
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,936
All right, that. He's
bang out of order.

143
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:54,937
OK, OK.

144
00:05:54,961 --> 00:05:58,776
This is clearly a passionate
issue dear to all your hearts.

145
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,936
Let's do it. Lewis
is in the mud!

146
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:02,937
Mudded!

147
00:06:02,961 --> 00:06:05,000
CHEERING

148
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,616
Wealth.

149
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,936
What does it do?

150
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,936
Does wealth define dreams?

151
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,936
Or do dreams define wealth?

152
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,616
This door won't open.

153
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,936
It's locked!

154
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,936
Inequality within the
acting profession.

155
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,960
Glass ceiling?

156
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,800
Don't you mean class ceiling?

157
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,936
Eeh.

158
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,936
Oh, I'm a bell end.

159
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,936
Don't you mean, I'm
a complete bell end?

160
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960
APPLAUSE

161
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:49,936
That was a little piece that I
wrote about how access and success

162
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,936
within the British
acting profession

163
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,296
is increasingly dominated by those
from privileged class origins.

164
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,936
But I wanna change that.

165
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:02,936
I wanna show you how
to unlock that door.

166
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,936
Yeah? I just wanna say, I loved
your use of stage proxemics.

167
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,776
It really helped emphasise
the points of tension.

168
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,936
Thank you very much.
What's your name?

169
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:11,937
Grace.

170
00:07:11,961 --> 00:07:15,776
In Greek mythology, it means
charm, beauty and fertility.

171
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,976
Well, you're obviously a very
knowledgeable young lady, Grace.

172
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,936
Thanks. I go to an
evening drama school,

173
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,936
and we cover a lot of
the techniques there.

174
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,937
Fantastic.

175
00:07:23,961 --> 00:07:28,936
So, who else, like our Grace here,
has the drive to become an actor?

176
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,456
Me. My dream is to become the
first person from Merseyside

177
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,936
to win an Oscar since
Glenda Jackson in 1973.

178
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:36,937
LAUGHTER

179
00:07:36,961 --> 00:07:40,936
Eeh, why are yo use laughing?
Eh, it's called ambition.

180
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,776
Yeah, but you also
need hard work

181
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,936
to go along with
that blind ambition.

182
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,936
So, what do you do to
really push yourself?

183
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,936
I do drama GCSE.

184
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,456
Well, if you really
want that Oscar,

185
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,936
maybe you should be doing
more, like our Grace here.

186
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:59,296
So, the school has asked me to do
an acting masterclass this week,

187
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,936
but I'm also casting for
an indie film project

188
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,936
about young, working-class
kids growing up in Liverpool.

189
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,936
But I thought you were
a fancy film director?

190
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,936
No, I'm a casting director,

191
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,616
so I choose the right
actors for the films.

192
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,936
Oh, that sounds easy, that.

193
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,456
"You, you're good. Be in that."

194
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,936
I want to cast the
female lead locally,

195
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,936
so I'll be visiting a few
schools over the next few weeks,

196
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,136
and I'll invite the best from
each school to a casting day.

197
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,936
Why don't you just be a
real director instead?

198
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,936
Er, it's not exactly
as easy as all that.

199
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,937
So, if you're interested,

200
00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:34,936
auditions will be held
Wednesday afternoon.

201
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,936
Let's get rehearsing!

202
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,936
What are you having
a go at him for?

203
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,936
You do realise he's gonna cast
someone for an actual film?

204
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,937
It would kinda help
if he liked me.

205
00:08:43,961 --> 00:08:45,936
All right, well,
what's got into you?

206
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,936
And why did you say about
putting Lewis on trial?

207
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,936
Er, what do you mean? I
was trying to help you!

208
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,936
Rehearsals are where the
real hard work happens.

209
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,936
They'll either darken
your performance or

210
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:57,960
light it up.

211
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,616
Good luck, my learned friend!

212
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,936
May the best man win.

213
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,456
May the man with the
poshest voice win, you mean.

214
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,936
Oh, come on! You belong
in the courtroom too.

215
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,936
Putting in the doors!

216
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,936
Lad, you're obsessed,
you, aren't you?

217
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,456
Don't get so busy
making a living

218
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,160
that you forget to
live your life, yeah?

219
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,936
See you in court!

220
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,960
MUSIC: 'Black Betty' by Ram Jam.

221
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,936
I'm gonna cross-examine
these bad boys.

222
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,960
SNIFFS

223
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,936
Yeah, that's the one! That's it.

224
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,936
That's it. That is it, lad.

225
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,960
Seriously, Reece?

226
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,960
'Are you messing, lad?'

227
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,936
It's gotta be Fowler, dickhead.

228
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,000
He was nicer looking.
Yeah, he's nicer looking.

229
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,960
GROANING

230
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,936
Good luck.

231
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,296
Looks like you've got a bowl of
Koka noodles on your head, lad.

232
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,960
At least I make an effort.

233
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,936
Order!

234
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,936
RAP MUSIC PLAYS

235
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,136
JEERING

236
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,960
Look at the state of him!

237
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,776
What, then? What? What?

238
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:43,960
Tell me! Lewis.

239
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,936
We go way back!

240
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:47,937
She's the one that got me off

241
00:10:47,961 --> 00:10:49,936
when I was accused of
smashing a motorbike up.

242
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,936
She is a superb barrister.
That's very kind, thank you.

243
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,936
And I 100% did it as well,
so she's very good, like.

244
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,296
OK, Christopher, are you ready
for your opening statement?

245
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,936
Members of the jury,
this case is simple.

246
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,936
It is about an angry
man who sought revenge.

247
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,976
And when he remembered
his ex-girlfriend

248
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,936
doesn't use two-step authentication
on her TikTok account,

249
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,936
he saw his chance to strike!

250
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,936
Miss Aimee Morris is
a kind, passionate,

251
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,616
driven young woman,

252
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,136
and hacking into her account
and posting a defamatory video

253
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,936
was a deliberate attempt
to sabotage that reputation

254
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,936
and paint her as a villain.

255
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,936
But you will hear
evidence during this case

256
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,936
that proves the
only villain here

257
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,936
is Mr Lewis Connolly. Nah.

258
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,936
I'm no villain, me.

259
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,976
If any of yo use reckon
I'm guilty, yeah,

260
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,456
I'll bring your mas here
to the court and shag them.

261
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,936
And even if you say, "Objection,"
I'll keep shagging them.

262
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,936
JEERING

263
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,960
Order!

264
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,936
Reece, do you actually
have an opening statement?

265
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,136
Yes. Yes, I do.

266
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,960
Members of the jury,
would you please?

267
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,936
Reece! Reece! Reece!
Reece! Reece! Reece!

268
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,936
Lads, you need to
take this seriously!

269
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,936
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!

270
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,936
Order! Order!

271
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,936
Would you say Lewis was bitter
about you breaking up with him?

272
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,776
So bitter that he
sought revenge?

273
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,936
Defo. He used to write me
these weird love poems.

274
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,936
For the purpose of the
court, Mr Connolly,

275
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,960
can you please read out
the evidence as presented?

276
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,936
A...

277
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,936
is for "amazing tits".

278
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:35,937
Vile.

279
00:12:35,961 --> 00:12:37,936
I...

280
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,936
is for "interesting arse".

281
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960
M...

282
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,456
is for "marvellous fanny".

283
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,960
Ugh! E

284
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,936
is for "excited to eat you out".

285
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,000
Knocks me sick. E

286
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,936
is for "eating you out".

287
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:55,937
Ugh! Hang on!

288
00:12:55,961 --> 00:12:57,616
He stole that from
a John Keates poem!

289
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,960
Who?

290
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,960
Miss Morris, could you
please look at this?

291
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,936
Let's all do the beach, man!

292
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,936
Let's all do the beach, man!

293
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,976
Nah, nah, nah, nah!
Order in the court!

294
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,936
Members of the jury,

295
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,936
I hired an online sleuth
to obtain the IP address

296
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,136
of where the TikTok
post originated.

297
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,936
What the fuck's a sleuth?

298
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,936
And this is the e-mail
I received which states

299
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,296
that the IP address matches a
computer in the school library.

300
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,936
So? Who cares?

301
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,936
OK, well, wait for this.

302
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,936
We have an eyewitness statement
that says they saw Mr Connolly

303
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,936
using that same computer
on Friday at 12:29.

304
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,296
What is he on about? Who cares?

305
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,936
The TikTok post
was made at 12:31!

306
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,936
GASPS

307
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,960
CLAMOUR

308
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:50,960
You're finished.

309
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,936
Lad, I need your
help. I didn't do it.

310
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,936
Look, like, that poem, yeah?

311
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,960
I just wanted her to know
I was hurting because

312
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,936
it kills me that I love her

313
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:13,976
and she doesn't feel
the same about me.

314
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,936
Please?

315
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:16,937
If you get me off,
no more dad jokes.

316
00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:20,456
OK, OK, maybe down
to, like, one a month.

317
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,936
I'll make a conscious shift
from quantity to quality.

318
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,320
Swear down.

319
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,936
Can someone get back to me and
tell me why it's been moved?

320
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,960
He's not going through
another two weeks of hell.

321
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,936
WAILING

322
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,936
Give me the drugs!

323
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,936
Cor, this dickhead
and his torches.

324
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,936
Don't make me shoot
my own brother!

325
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,960
WHIMPERS

326
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,976
APPLAUSE

327
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,936
And that was completely
improvised because in acting,

328
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,936
sometimes you have to
think on your feet.

329
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,936
Do you know, it actually
felt really real, Sir.

330
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,936
Like, me dad killed his brother
just last week for drugs.

331
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,936
And the street name for all
drugs these days is just "drugs".

332
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,776
Saves all the confusion.

333
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,776
Thank you.

334
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,936
And I'm sorry for your loss.

335
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,936
Let's do some improv situations.

336
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:24,937
I'll set you in pairs,

337
00:15:24,961 --> 00:15:27,936
and you can use this
torch as a creative prop

338
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,936
to help inspire the scene.

339
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:34,936
Welcome to the Socially
"In just this" podcast.

340
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,936
This week, we're
discussing white privilege.

341
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,936
My guest today is Mia-Louise.

342
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:40,937
Good afternoon.

343
00:15:40,961 --> 00:15:43,936
You're white privilege, girl,
for saying "good afternoon"

344
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,936
just cos white people have
generally had good afternoons.

345
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,936
What about Black
people and slavery?

346
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,976
They weren't good
afternoons, were they?

347
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,936
So, according to our records,
you've been unemployed

348
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,936
and on Universal Credit for
two years since leaving school.

349
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,936
How's that job search going?

350
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,936
I'm sure there's something
out there for me. Hmm.

351
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,136
Hm.

352
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,936
What is white privilege?

353
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:05,937
How do we define it?

354
00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:08,936
Er, is it a young white girl who
thinks she's interesting enough

355
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,936
to have her own podcast and then
constantly emails everyone about it?

356
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,936
I've found a cleaning
job here at Asda.

357
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,936
Would you be interested?

358
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,936
Nothing against cleaning,
but I'd like to do something

359
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,456
in the entertainment industry.

360
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:25,936
Oh, my God, the host of the podcast
has just been arrested live on air.

361
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,776
For a violent racial
hate crime. On a woman.

362
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,616
Who was also a refugee!

363
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,936
Then she's burnt the Pride flag,
and she's even chopped down a tree!

364
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,136
But sometimes you have to
be a bit more realistic

365
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,936
with our careers.

366
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,136
You know, we can't waste our
lives chasing an unrealistic dream

367
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,976
with nothing to fall back on.

368
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,936
For example, you try to
make it as a singer, fail

369
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,936
and end up becoming a
bad Elvis impersonator

370
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,296
who can't support his family.

371
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,936
Shut up, you
stupid, pouty bitch!

372
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,936
GASPS

373
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,936
Exceptional, Grace.

374
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,976
The conflict really helped
imbue the scene with emotion.

375
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:07,776
I'll see you guys tomorrow, at
1pm sharp, for the auditions.

376
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,936
Thanks for calling me
back. 'How's tomorrow?'

377
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,640
Tomorrow is great.
What time? '1pm?

378
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,936
'Love?' Yeah.

379
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,456
Yeah, that's OK.

380
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,936
Calling a hit on Grace?

381
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,960
My first was tough too, but
sometimes it has to be done.

382
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,937
Don't worry.

383
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,936
You're gonna do great
in the audition.

384
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,000
And tomorrow this whole school's
going to know what Lewis did to you.

385
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,976
Hello there. I'm so sorry,
can I cancel that hit?

386
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,976
Yeah, this posh divvy's
making me feel a lot better.

387
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,960
OK, thank you.
Take care, bye-bye!

388
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,960
CHATTER

389
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,936
Order!

390
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,936
In the absence of the
defending barrister,

391
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,136
and on the charge
of Lewis Connolly

392
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,776
hacking me mate's TikTok and
generally being a bad ming,

393
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,936
how do we find him?

394
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,937
Stop! GASPS.

395
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:10,616
The defence has some new evidence it
would like to share with the jury.

396
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,936
My "Leonard" friend said

397
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,936
that Mr Connolly was last seen
on said computer at 12:29.

398
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,936
And he's right, he was.

399
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,320
What are you playing at, lad?

400
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,936
But he wasn't on Aimee's TikTok.

401
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,936
He was printing materials off
for his big lunchtime wank,

402
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,976
cos everybody knows he's
not a good mind wanker.

403
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,936
MURMURS OF AGREEMENT Lewis
then took these materials

404
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,936
and enjoyed his lunchtime
wank in the bog.

405
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,936
Now, ladies and
gentlemen of the jury,

406
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,936
can you help me with a question?

407
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,936
What time did my
"Leonard" friend

408
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,776
say the TikTok post was made?

409
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,976
12:31.

410
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,936
Thank you for your assistance.

411
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,936
Now, as we all know,

412
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,936
Meachy likes to keep
a close eye on us.

413
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,136
So, here we have
Friday's CCTV footage

414
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,616
of the south corridor,

415
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,936
where you will now
see Mr Connolly

416
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,936
leaving the bogs in
post-nut clarity bliss.

417
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,976
Dirty bastard. Vile.

418
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,936
Now, I know what yo use are
thinking, ladies and gentlemen.

419
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,936
Lewis was on the
computer at 12:29.

420
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,936
He printed his materials,
posted the TikTok at 12:31,

421
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:15,937
then went for his
elite lunchtime wank.

422
00:19:15,961 --> 00:19:18,136
Except he didn't.

423
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,936
Because the time here is 12:32!

424
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,936
I didn't post it!

425
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:23,937
I therefore put to you

426
00:19:23,961 --> 00:19:26,936
that Mr Connolly
was actually wankin'

427
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,937
at the time in question.

428
00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:29,936
GASPS Oh, and also,

429
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,936
he's a rapid wanker too.

430
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,960
Get in!

431
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,936
Thank you so much.
I didn't post it.

432
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,936
Y-You do believe me, don't you?

433
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,456
I know we've never been
the best of mates, but...

434
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,480
Oh, my God, you don't.

435
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,960
Oh, my God. She did it.

436
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,136
Thank you, son.

437
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,616
Reece.

438
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,936
Could you come by our
chambers after school

439
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,960
to sort out the paperwork,
meet your fellow cohorts?

440
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,936
Reece! Reece! Reece!

441
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,936
Reece! Reece! Reece!

442
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,936
Reece! Reece! Reece!
Reece! Reece! Reece!

443
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,000
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!

444
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,960
Aims? Where you going?

445
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,936
Wahey-hey! Come on!

446
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,936
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

447
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,936
And when CCTV caught me putting
six school laptops in me car,

448
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,456
Meachy deep faked it, lad.

449
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,936
I'm innocent! Come on!

450
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:27,960
Come on!

451
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,960
MUSIC: 'Dancing Girl'
by Terry Callier.

452
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,936
♪ I saw a dream last night

453
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,456
♪ Bright like a
falling star... ♪

454
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,936
Is she not coming?

455
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,936
♪ And the sources of light,

456
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,936
♪ Seemed so near... ♪

457
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,936
'Ere.

458
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,937
♪ Yet so far... ♪

459
00:20:56,961 --> 00:20:59,936
Right, next we have...

460
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,936
Grace.

461
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,960
Eeh, why is she
dressed like Aims?

462
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,937
I'll fucking hit her.

463
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:07,976
Thanks for coming in, Aimee.

464
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,936
As I was saying to your father,
we've analysed the MRI scan results.

465
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,960
Unfortunately, it has confirmed
areas of lesions in the brain.

466
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:17,937
I'll be OK.

467
00:21:17,961 --> 00:21:19,936
The cost-of-living crises

468
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,936
has brought you to the
bones of your arse,

469
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,936
and now you've just been fired.

470
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,937
You can't do that!

471
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:27,936
It's humiliating as it is,

472
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,936
having to rely on charities
for toothpaste and bog roll.

473
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,936
I have a kid, and
her da does nothing.

474
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,936
I'm on me own.

475
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:39,960
Please!

476
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,456
♪ Each of us is born alone... ♪

477
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,936
Look

478
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,936
we knew it was
coming, didn't we?

479
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,936
'Ey?

480
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:54,936
Just think, the shaky legs will
help with me Elvis routine.

481
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,456
Come on.

482
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,960
♪ Well, welcome to
The twilight zone... ♪

483
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,937
Right, I'm doing me audition,

484
00:22:02,961 --> 00:22:05,936
but I'm doing an improvised
monologue that fits the character.

485
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,960
Aimee, you're too late.
I have to get my train.

486
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,936
What do you do when you
feel like you're drowning?

487
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,936
When you go from being a kid

488
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,936
to suddenly having to
deal with heartbreak,

489
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,976
misery, anger?

490
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,320
They don't teach you
that in school, do they?

491
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,936
They act like

492
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,936
as long as you study
hard, you'll be happy.

493
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,960
What they don't say is, one day

494
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,976
you might get bad news

495
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,936
that makes you feel
like you've been thrown

496
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,616
into a deep hole of despair.

497
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,936
When you're a kid,

498
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,960
there is no problem that
your parents can't solve.

499
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,960
They're indestructible.

500
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,960
And then you get older,

501
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,936
and it's devastating to
realise that they aren't.

502
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:13,960
Maybe that's why no-one
prepares you for being an adult.

503
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,960
Because they're
still not prepared.

504
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,960
Maybe nothing can prepare you.

505
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,800
That was good, Aimee. Very good.

506
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,936
But you know what? I
just can't rely on you.

507
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,936
You're late, you're irritable,

508
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,936
and quite frankly,
you're trouble,

509
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,640
and people don't like
working with trouble.

510
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,936
Grace... I'll see you in London.

511
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,936
'Ey, Jenson!

512
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,136
I looked you up
on LinkedIn. Yeah.

513
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,936
You from around here,
are you? You're a fraud.

514
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,456
You're a joke, mate. This
whole school's a joke!

515
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,936
It's full of bad gimps!

516
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,936
You can all fuck off, mate!

517
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,960
Aims, what's goin' on?

518
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,160
All right, soft lad?

519
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,616
Where've you been?

520
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,456
The fella from your law
placement called me.

521
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,936
He said you did a runner.

522
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,936
I told him you better had
the shits or I'll kill you.

523
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,296
I've put it on Instagram, Reece!

524
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,136
"Hashtag so proud. Hashtag
lawyer in the family."

525
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,776
"Hashtag not the
accused this time."

526
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,936
I know, Mum. I saw
the 50 hashtags.

527
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,960
Then what the fuck happened?

528
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,936
There was this lad
there called Remington.

529
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,936
Some girl called Persephone.
She was quite fit.

530
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,976
But they were speaking about
Villa versus someone in 2018.

531
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,936
I thought they were speaking
about an FA Cup game,

532
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,936
but it turns out they were
speaking about some legal case,

533
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,960
a guy called Villa.

534
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,936
I felt like a tit, Mum.

535
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,960
So I just left.

536
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,960
Can't say I blame you.

537
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:02,136
Look, I'm not gonna force you to
go back if you don't want to, OK?

538
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,936
But I can't let you swerve it cos
you don't think you're good enough.

539
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,800
Fuck Persephone!

540
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,936
You've got just as much right to
be there as any of them have, son.

541
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,960
You've just gotta
start believing it, OK?

542
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,936
OK.

543
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,296
Your tea's inside.

544
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,960
Persephone!

545
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,960
"Hashtag so proud?"

546
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,960
I got you a gift to say well
done for winning the case.

547
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,936
For when you start your
joinery apprenticeship.

548
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,296
You mean to say sorry cos you
thought you were gonna win easily?

549
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,936
What? No. I gave you that impression
on purpose to help motivate you,

550
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:43,937
and it worked.

551
00:25:43,961 --> 00:25:45,936
I would never assume anything!

552
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,136
I'm not that entitled.

553
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,456
Eurgh, my shoes are
so dirty. Where is he?

554
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,936
WHISTLES

555
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:54,976
No, no, no, no, no.

556
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,960
Now I'm the boss.

557
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,936
WHISTLES

558
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,936
Now mighty Mo runs
biggest shoeshine company

559
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,936
in whole of Merseyside.

560
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:05,937
We shine shoes, sir!

561
00:26:05,961 --> 00:26:07,976
Yalla, yalla. Hey!
Curly haired boy!

562
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,936
Quicker! Quicker!

563
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,960
♪ You don't have
to take this crap

564
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,616
♪ You don't have to
sit back And relax

565
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:21,936
♪ You can actually
try changing it

566
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,936
♪ I know we're gonna
try To make this work

567
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,456
♪ Or spend your days
Down in the dirt

568
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,616
♪ You see, things can change

569
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,936
♪ Walls can come tumbling down

570
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,936
♪ Governments crack
and systems fall

571
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:38,776
♪ Cos unity is powerful
♪ Oh, lights go out... ♪

572
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,960
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