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[soft piano music playing]
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[Daniel] In Herman Williams'
seminal work on the joys
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00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:53,270
of being a model train
hobbyist, he writes,
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00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,320
"Many an hour have I spent
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00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,180
"blissfully lost in a world
of my own creation.
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00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,980
"For the model train
enthusiast,
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00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:07,590
"there exists a secret world
of order and symmetry.
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00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:11,420
"Nestled into the corners
of our basements and attics,
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00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:13,250
"we lord over a world
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"where the hobbyist
plays omnipotent creator.
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"There, in 1:87 scale,
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"the neighbors
are always kind,
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"the lovers
always end up together,
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"and the trains always
take you to the far-off places
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00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:34,090
"you always swore you'd go."
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In life, of course,
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00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:42,370
nothing is nearly
as neat and tidy.
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[woman singing]
♪ Well, if you close the door ♪
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[piano music playing]
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♪ The night could
last forever ♪
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♪ And keep the sunshine out ♪
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♪ And say hello to never ♪
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♪ 'Cause all the people
are dancing ♪
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♪ And they're having such fun ♪
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00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:09,700
♪ I wish it could
happen to me ♪
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- [piano music pauses]
- [cheering, laughing]
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00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:17,320
- ♪ So baby close that door ♪
- [piano music resumes]
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♪ And never have to see
the day again ♪
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♪ Oh, yeah ♪
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♪ I'd never have to see
the day again ♪
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♪ That's right ♪
Sing!
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♪ I'd never have to see
the day again ♪
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[all whooping and cheering]
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- [plays glissando]
- Encore, Allie!
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- No!
- [others groan]
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I am way too drunk
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to be singing
in front of people.
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Aw, but we love you! Come on!
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And I wanna keep it that way.
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Um, okay. That was
for my beautiful, sweet,
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darling fiance, Nathan.
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[laughter]
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Who loves that song very much.
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Bubba, you wanna come up here?
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- No. [chuckles]
- [all laughing]
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[Allison] Come on!
It's our engagement party.
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He's very shy!
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[all chanting]
Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
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Nathan! Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
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[whooping]
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[guests] Mm! Ah! Mm!
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- Did you like it?
- It was amazing.
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[Nathan inhales deeply]
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- Hey, y'all...
- [laughter]
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Um, I'll just briefly say that
she played that song for me
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on our very first date
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on a beautiful,
old piano she found
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at the back of an empty bar.
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- Well, you better go, girl!
- Come on. Come on!
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- Always be closing.
- [Molly] Absolutely!
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Welcome to the family!
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- Allison... [chuckles]
- Yes... [chuckles]
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Every memory I cherish
in my life has you in it.
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Some of them
are just tiny seconds.
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The way you close one eye
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when you really wanna focus
on tasting something.
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- [guests laugh]
- I do that. I do that.
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I go, like...
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[guests laughing]
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[laughing]
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I can't believe this is real.
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It's real, baby.
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- Thank God.
- [Allison] Mm.
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- I love you.
- I love you.
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[all] Aw.
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- Okay.
- Hey...
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- Um... Drink, smoke, be merry.
- [man] Yeah.
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And if you choose
to sleep with Chip,
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make sure he wears,
like, 11 condoms.
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[all exclaiming]
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I'm, like, literally a virgin.
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- [others laughing]
- He's kidding. He's kidding.
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- ["Time" playing]
- ♪ Time keeps on coming ♪
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♪ I've been all around ♪
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[lighter clicking]
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♪ I'll keep on loving... ♪
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No! No, no, no.
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- No. Come on, baby. No phone.
- Oh.
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When we get married,
we have to make rules
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- about phones in the bed.
- [scoffs]
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Oh, shut up.
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You are on your phone,
like, ten times more than me,
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looking up rusty old trucks.
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Uh, a '67 cloth top Bronco
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is a work of art, baby.
It's not a truck.
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- I'm looking at art.
- Yeah. Oh.
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- Like this butt.
- [Allison laughing]
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I am so high
from that gummy you gave me.
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- What the fuck was that?
- [Nathan chuckling]
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I still can't feel my ankles.
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You don't need your ankles
right now.
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Yeah, but I would
still like to feel my ankles.
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Hey, come kiss me.
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- Hey, babe?
- Yeah?
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This creepy doctor
from my sales list
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is really trying to flirt
with me on Instagram.
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[inhales sharply] Maybe you
gave him the wrong impression.
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What?
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Come on! As if!
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I go in there, and I'm, like,
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waving
my engagement ring around.
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You always say, "Flirting
is a part of the job."
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Someone's bound to get
the wrong impression.
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It's very light flirting.
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- Ah, okay. [laughs]
- It is!
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It's like... It's just...
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It's sushi with a smile,
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so that he can write
the fucking prescription,
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and I can get a fat bonus,
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and then
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you and I can maybe one day
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move to the city.
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If we don't go to hell first.
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Oh! Why would you say that?
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- Come on!
- I'm sorry.
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I'm only pushing HUMIRA, like,
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I won't go to hell for
moderate to severe psoriasis.
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Come on.
That would be so unfair.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Shut up.
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- Okay. Hey.
- Mmm.
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It's just a stepping
stone, baby.
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I know.
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Do you think it's too late
for astronaut school?
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- [laughing]
- What?
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- What?
- Nothing.
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I could be
a professional dancer.
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- Oh, word?
- Yeah. Yeah.
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- You got them moves?
- Ooh.
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- [laughs]
- Wait, let me stand up.
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I'm way better
when I stand up.
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- Okay.
- It's so much better
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when I stand up.
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- Are you ready?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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- Whoa.
- What genre is this?
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I don't know,
but my body just goes...
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[Nathan] Go.
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Is this modern, right?
[laughs]
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- This is professional.
- Wow.
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So I would appreciate it
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if you took me seriously
right now.
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I'm taking you very seriously.
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And then, we'll finish
with something like this.
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- [Allison humming]
- [laughs]
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But I'm not gonna
show you anymore,
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because it's
a work-in-progress.
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And the professional is tired,
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and I wanna cuddle.
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♪ Came into this life
on my own ♪
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♪And I'll try
Yes I'll try ♪
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♪ Hope for love
turn out the light ♪
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♪ And I gave my own life
My own life, my own life ♪
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[truck horn blaring]
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[Allison]
Oh, calm the fuck down.
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I swear, this road has been
under construction
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my entire life.
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When will New Jersey be done?
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- She's a work-in-progress.
- Never.
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[chuckles] Oh, by the way,
how's Ryan doing?
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Oh, you mean
your future niece?
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[gasps] Oh, my goodness.
She's so pretty!
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Yeah, the varsity coach said
she might start next year.
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00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:02,310
- Oh, yeah?
- [Jesse] Mmm-hmm.
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00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:04,620
She scored 19 goals
last season!
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00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:05,880
- Tell her. Tell her.
- Wow!
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Oh, my God.
You must be so proud of her.
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I can't believe
I haven't met her.
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I'm so sorry Nathan and I
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00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:11,970
haven't made it
down there yet.
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Don't worry about it.
I mean, it's far.
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00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:14,670
We're gonna try to come up
more often
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00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:15,980
now that our dad's
getting older.
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[Allison] Yeah.
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Well, I've only met
your dad a few times,
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but that we can't blame
on distance. [chuckles]
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This is fucking nuts.
I'm sorry.
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Wait, so tell us about
188
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,250
these wedding dresses
we're seeing.
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00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:31,990
Yes, please. I couldn't sleep
last night thinking about it.
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00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:34,340
- [laughs] Shut up!
- You are such a good sport.
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00:08:34,540 --> 00:08:37,130
No, he isn't. He just thinks
that after we see dresses,
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- we're going to go...
- Yeah?
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00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:39,650
- ...on a pub crawl.
- [Jesse] Mmm-hmm.
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00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:41,090
But actually
we're going to see a play.
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- You are?
- No, we're not.
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00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,090
You said that we'd have
to get tickets already.
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00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,140
No. We just gotta see some
shit nobody else wants to see.
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00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:47,530
- [laughing]
- Oh, great. That's awesome.
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00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:48,920
- Yeah, right?
- Great. Great.
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Hey, look,
it's finally opening up.
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00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:53,360
All right, so I think
it might be a little tight
202
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,890
getting you to a play,
203
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,490
but, um, let me just check...
204
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,890
- Okay, so now it's saying...
- [back-up alarm bleeping]
205
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:04,160
Allie!
206
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,410
- [Jesse] Look out!
- [tires screech]
207
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,560
[device chimes]
208
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,040
Here we are.
209
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,440
You got me here so early.
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00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,570
Yeah, well, it's
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00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:29,010
better to be a half-hour early
212
00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:30,570
than one minute late.
213
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,400
[chuckles]
214
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,450
Grandpa, have you ever played
any video games?
215
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,310
- No. [scoffs]
- [chuckles]
216
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,840
You've got that perfect
little brain up there
217
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,530
and you're just melting it
away with that crap.
218
00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:44,500
Okay.
219
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:45,720
- [automated voice] Nathan.
- [cell phone ringing]
220
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,020
[Ryan] It's Uncle Nathan.
Answer it.
221
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:49,370
Why would he be calling me?
222
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,800
Pick it up.
223
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:59,520
[sighs] Thought we weren't
talking anymore.
224
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,600
[video game sound effects
playing]
225
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,700
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Nathan. Nathan.
226
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,180
I've... I've got
Ryan here in the car.
227
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:17,970
I'm just dropping her off
at school.
228
00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:19,400
I'll call you right back.
229
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:24,850
Yes, I heard what you said.
I'm headed right there.
230
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:26,840
I just gotta
drop her off, okay?
231
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,850
See, that wasn't so bad.
232
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,410
Mom says she wishes you guys
could find a way to get along.
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00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,950
I... I've...
I've got to leave, sweetie.
234
00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:40,030
But I look like a dork
being here this early.
235
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:41,550
I'm sorry.
236
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:43,460
I'll, uh...
237
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:46,170
I'll be picking you up today.
238
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,690
Why can't Mom?
239
00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:49,170
She said they'd be back
from the city today, right?
240
00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:51,520
Well...
241
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,050
- she can't.
- [sighing] Okay.
242
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,220
I'll text her.
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00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,530
[Daniel] Okay.
244
00:10:57,730 --> 00:10:59,090
Okay. Bye.
245
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,260
Tell me you love me.
246
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,540
I love you, Grandpa.
247
00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:05,970
I love you too.
248
00:11:06,170 --> 00:11:07,400
[chuckles]
249
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,100
- Bye.
- Bye.
250
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,540
[somber music playing]
251
00:11:16,190 --> 00:11:17,150
[car door closes]
252
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,030
[sighs]
253
00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:31,390
[machine beeping]
254
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:34,390
[Allison weakly] Mom,
my head hurts so much.
255
00:11:34,590 --> 00:11:37,790
I can't even explain
how much pain my head's in.
256
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:39,310
[Diane] Can you click
on the morphine again?
257
00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:40,750
I've been clicking on it.
258
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,920
I'm clicking on it,
and nothing is happening.
259
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,230
Oh, shoot, you're right.
It is empty.
260
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:45,580
We gotta get more.
261
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:46,880
We'll have to get the nurse
to get us more.
262
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,180
Nathan, why are you
looking at me like that?
263
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,280
Like what?
264
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,240
Is it bad? Do I look that bad?
265
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,590
No, he's just upset,
sweetheart.
266
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,070
He's upset 'cause we've been
267
00:11:55,270 --> 00:11:56,550
- so worried all night long.
- [Allison] Okay. Okay.
268
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,640
This backhoe thing
just reversed
269
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,510
into the middle of the street.
270
00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:01,640
[Diane] I know, I know.
271
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,290
[Allison] I didn't know
what to do.
272
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,550
I know, but you don't have to
worry about that right now.
273
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,080
- Right, Nathan?
- Yeah.
274
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,600
No, you just need to focus
on getting better.
275
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:08,690
That's all you need
to think about, okay?
276
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:10,340
- [Allison] Okay.
- Right, Nathan?
277
00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,000
- Yeah.
- [Nurse] Sorry to interrupt,
278
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,650
but the police are here
to collect a blood sample.
279
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,000
Oh, no. Absolutely not.
280
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,650
Now is not a good time.
She is in a lot of pain.
281
00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:18,220
- You have to come back.
- No.
282
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:20,000
- [Nathan] She just woke up.
- Why are the police here?
283
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,610
Unfortunately, I can't.
284
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:23,960
Legally, the sample has to be
drawn as soon as possible.
285
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,400
We waited for her
to stabilize,
286
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,490
but with an accident
like this,
287
00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:27,880
it's imperative we test...
288
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,620
What is he talking about?
It wasn't my fault.
289
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:31,930
- Officer, she doesn't know.
- It wasn't her fault.
290
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,230
With an accident
of this magnitude
291
00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:34,670
involving fatalities,
we're required...
292
00:12:34,870 --> 00:12:36,410
- She hasn't been told.
- Fatalities?
293
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:37,720
She hasn't been told,
294
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,110
- you fucking asshole!
- [whispers] Fuck.
295
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:40,980
- [Diane] She didn't know.
- Mama, what's going on?
296
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:42,240
- I'm so sorry, honey.
- What is he talking about?
297
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,380
I'm so sorry.
298
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:45,120
[Allison] Nathan?
299
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,800
Nathan, what's going on?
300
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,940
They're gone.
301
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,600
They're both gone.
302
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,130
Who's gone?
303
00:12:57,330 --> 00:12:58,420
[Diane] Honey...
304
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,870
[melancholy music playing]
305
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:16,620
[sighs] No, Mom.
306
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,800
[gasping]
307
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,760
[voice breaking] Why, Mom?
308
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,930
[Diane] I'm so sorry, honey.
309
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:33,370
[melancholy music continues]
310
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,260
["Wake Up With The Sun"
playing]
311
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:54,490
♪ Wake up with
the sun in morning ♪
312
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:57,410
♪ Go to sleep with
the moon at night... ♪
313
00:13:57,610 --> 00:13:58,890
[on speaker]
Hey, guys! Bella here.
314
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,370
Welcome to my bathroom!
315
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,320
Today, we're gonna learn
to cut our own hair.
316
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,760
So let's jump in.
317
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,190
To get started,
we grab this first front layer
318
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,330
just like this.
319
00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:13,940
And put your scissors
at, like, a slight angle.
320
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,640
Okay, it's now or never.
[chuckles]
321
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:19,990
Go for it!
322
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,910
♪ What their purpose
is on earth ♪
323
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,690
♪ To love and be
loved in return... ♪
324
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:25,780
Fuck.
325
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:27,170
[Bella] You nailed it!
326
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:29,660
You're officially a stylist
just like me!
327
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,050
Now, go ahead
328
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,750
and grab the same layer
on the other side.
329
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:35,790
And just go for it!
330
00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:38,140
Okay. [sighs]
331
00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:40,970
♪ Happiness comes
from inside ♪
332
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:43,360
♪ At the center
of your mind... ♪
333
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,450
Fuck.
334
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,880
[Bella] Does it look even?
335
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:47,800
Uh...
336
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,590
Not exactly. No.
337
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:52,150
Good job.
You look amazing!
338
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,070
Thank you.
339
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,680
♪ You can change
the darkest day ♪
340
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,680
♪ Simply by
the things you say... ♪
341
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,210
Wow...
342
00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:06,340
♪ Oooh oooh ooh ♪
343
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,520
I love it.
344
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,080
[indistinct tv chatter]
345
00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:16,180
Oh, my God. Allie,
what the hell is all this?
346
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:20,000
You have got to stop buying
all this crap.
347
00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:25,100
Yeah, well, one of them
is an acrylic nail set
348
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,500
that I know you'll appreciate
more than I will.
349
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:28,890
And the others
are ankle weights.
350
00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:30,970
Remember? We said we were
gonna get in shape?
351
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,370
Oh, my God.
352
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,420
Allie, what the hell
did you do to your hair?
353
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,900
What? It's makeover Monday.
354
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,900
- It's Friday.
- Oh.
355
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,950
- It's so dark in here.
- No, please, don't open that.
356
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:44,340
Mama, that is so bright!
357
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,380
[Diane] Did you go
to physical therapy today?
358
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,340
Um, well, I tried to,
359
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:50,390
- but I overslept.
- Allie...
360
00:15:50,590 --> 00:15:52,780
What? I don't need PT.
I don't.
361
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,250
Allie, your hair.
362
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,520
You don't like it?
363
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,660
I just don't understand why
you would cut your own hair.
364
00:15:58,860 --> 00:16:01,010
Well, the girl said
it was easy, and it was not.
365
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,400
What girl?
366
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,790
This girl on the Internet.
She's an influencer.
367
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,620
She influenced me.
368
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:11,980
Such a pigsty in here.
I am not happy about this.
369
00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:13,800
Hey, Mama, can you tell me
where my pills are?
370
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,280
Which ones?
371
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,940
We said we were going to
wean off of them. Remember?
372
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,900
- Did we?
- Yes.
373
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,640
Because "we" are in pain
374
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,510
and "we" need more.
375
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:27,860
They're not gonna
give you more, Allie.
376
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:29,300
- They have to!
- No, they don't.
377
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:30,820
I need them!
378
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:32,430
Listen to me.
379
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:34,560
You're not in physical pain
anymore.
380
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,700
Have you been doing
the tapping thing
381
00:16:36,890 --> 00:16:38,090
that that one shrink
taught you?
382
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,310
Remember?
For anxiety and stress,
383
00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:42,140
and it calms you down
on the...
384
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,830
- eyes, and then the lips.
- Mom!
385
00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:45,530
[Diane] Or play your piano.
That always cheers you up.
386
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:46,880
I don't wanna talk
about this, please.
387
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,710
I have the worst headache!
Can you just stop?
388
00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:52,620
Can you call the doctors
and help me, please?
389
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,410
Which one? Patel?
He said no more.
390
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:56,760
Okay, well, fuck Patel.
Fuck Patel!
391
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,540
How about Goldberg, or...
392
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,410
or Fong?
393
00:17:00,610 --> 00:17:02,030
- Allie...
- Please, Mom.
394
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,200
- Just call 'em. Just help me.
- You're being a little...
395
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,590
- No.
- Just help me, please.
396
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,200
Guess what?
They all said "no."
397
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,250
Patel. Goldberg.
Fong. Rosenberg.
398
00:17:08,450 --> 00:17:10,160
Okay, well, I'll try Vromen.
He loves me.
399
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,080
Vromen is an orthodontist.
400
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,560
Yeah, but he used to
flirt with me
401
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,650
when his fingers were really
deep inside my mouth,
402
00:17:15,850 --> 00:17:18,170
and it was very inappropriate,
and so, he really owes me one.
403
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,040
Allie, I don't like
how you're acting.
404
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,260
You know what?
Enough is enough.
405
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,050
You gotta get out
of this living room,
406
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,660
take off your pajamas,
407
00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:26,570
and get your ass,
and go get a job.
408
00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:27,700
I'm sick of this crap.
409
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,010
As if you have any right
410
00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:32,100
lecturing me
on medicating myself.
411
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,490
What is that supposed to mean?
412
00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:36,670
It means, Mom, you're such
a fucking hypocrite!
413
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:39,500
You don't think that I clock
how many Xanax you take?
414
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,670
Or how many glasses of wine
you drink?
415
00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:43,680
You think I'm just a zombie
that doesn't notice anything,
416
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:46,370
but I notice
fucking everything! I see you.
417
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:49,990
So, can I have my pills,
please?
418
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:52,210
You're not listening.
There's no more.
419
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:53,810
[breathes heavily]
420
00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:01,350
[Diane] You get
right back here,
421
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:02,960
- you little brat!
- No!
422
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,390
What in the hell do you think
you are doing?
423
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:06,650
Get out of there!
424
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:07,830
- Get out of there!
- [Allison] Get off me!
425
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:09,310
- No! Get out of there!
- Let go!
426
00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:11,570
- [Diane] What are you doing?
- No! Are they in here?
427
00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:14,360
- [Diane] Get back! Cut it out!
- You are hurting me!
428
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,710
[Diane] Stop it!
429
00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:17,570
- Stop it! Put that back!
- [grunts] Mom!
430
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:19,620
No.
431
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,060
- Open the door.
- No.
432
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:22,670
- Open the fucking door!
- Stop it! Stop it.
433
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:24,020
- Mom, let me out.
- No.
434
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,200
Let me out. Let me out!
435
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,460
Mama!
436
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,240
- No! Stop it!
- Give me those... Ow.
437
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,420
- Stop it!
- [Diane] Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow.
438
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,630
- You fucking crazy little brat.
- [Allison] No!
439
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:35,760
[groans]
440
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,120
Shit!
441
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,430
No, no, no, no, no, no.
442
00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:42,510
Mama, no! Please. No!
443
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,650
Why the fuck did you do that?
444
00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:47,830
I'm in pain!
445
00:18:48,030 --> 00:18:48,960
I don't give a shit!
446
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,440
Your daughter
is in actual pain!
447
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:51,870
I don't give a shit!
448
00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:55,440
I fucking hate you so much!
449
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,100
[Diane] You're bleeding!
450
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,350
[panting]
451
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,620
You get back here right now.
452
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:04,060
- ALLISON: Leave me alone.
- You come back here.
453
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:05,150
- ALLISON: Leave me alone.
- I'm gonna grab your...
454
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,450
[arguing continues]
455
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:07,800
[Allison]
Leave me the fuck alone!
456
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:08,980
[Diane] I'm not gonna leave you
the fuck alone,
457
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:10,230
- you little brat.
- Ugh!
458
00:19:11,970 --> 00:19:14,020
[mellow music playing]
459
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:17,200
Allison!
460
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,340
- Leave me alone!
- [Diane] Where are you going?
461
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:21,290
Leave me alone!
462
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,380
[panting]
463
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:32,440
[crowd applauding and cheering]
464
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,300
[Daniel] Let's go, Ryan!
465
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,430
Attagirl! Attagirl!
466
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:42,790
[crowd groans]
467
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,010
Fuck! [sighs]
468
00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:47,760
So you're the Ryan
that's been talking to Damien?
469
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,020
Get the fuck outta my face.
470
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,240
See, you talk to people
like that, bitch,
471
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,760
that's why you have
no fucking friends.
472
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:52,930
Why are you
hitting on me, huh?
473
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:54,410
Uh, I'm not the one
named "Ryan."
474
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,160
It's a fucking dyke's name.
You a dyke?
475
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,150
- Only when I fuck your mother.
- Oh, at least I have a mother.
476
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,150
What the fuck
did you just say to me?
477
00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:06,080
Hey!
478
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,420
Stay away from Damien,
you fucking whore.
479
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:11,340
Hey!
480
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,300
Break that up, Ref!
481
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,700
- [Ryan grunts]
- [whistle blowing]
482
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:15,860
[referee] Break it up.
Break it up!
483
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,210
Hey!
484
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,740
[whistle continues blowing]
485
00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:22,790
[referee] Hey! That's it!
You're both out. Red card.
486
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:24,180
[Daniel] Ryan,
what the hell was that?
487
00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,660
[huffs] I quit.
488
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,970
[tearfully] I quit.
I hate this fucking game.
489
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:30,020
Why? Because you got
in a fight?
490
00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:32,060
Come on, that's not you.
491
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:34,190
You're tough.
You're not a quitter.
492
00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:37,240
- She made fun of Mom.
- What?
493
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,490
She said,
"At least I have a mom."
494
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,850
Well, fuck her.
495
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:48,630
Well...
496
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,340
And what kind of a punch
was that?
497
00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:54,610
You throw this hard right hook
498
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,340
and then you leave yourself
wide open for the jab.
499
00:20:58,430 --> 00:21:00,120
We're gonna have to work
on that.
500
00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,740
[mellow music playing]
501
00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:13,140
[breathing heavily]
502
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,930
Hi.
503
00:21:19,130 --> 00:21:21,500
I'm here to get
a prescription refilled.
504
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:24,330
Last name, Johnson.
Birthday, August 24th.
505
00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:26,290
Okay. For which medication?
506
00:21:26,490 --> 00:21:29,420
Uh... The Oxy. OxyContin.
507
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,600
It says here
you are out of refills.
508
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,210
I see you've been on them
for over a year now.
509
00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:36,300
Your doctor's probably trying
to wean you off of them.
510
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,690
As I'm sure you know,
they can be very addictive.
511
00:21:38,890 --> 00:21:40,640
Oh, really?
I hadn't fucking heard that.
512
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:43,570
Sorry.
513
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,390
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
514
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:48,220
Listen...
515
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:50,140
I was in a really bad
car accident,
516
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:53,230
and I need them,
because I'm in a lot of pain.
517
00:21:53,430 --> 00:21:54,350
Just now?
518
00:21:55,570 --> 00:21:56,620
What? No.
519
00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:59,190
Your elbow is bleeding.
520
00:21:59,390 --> 00:22:00,980
Oh, shit.
Look, it's fine.
521
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:02,500
Let me go get you a bandage.
522
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,450
I don't need
a fucking bandage. It's fine.
523
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:09,800
Then take this.
524
00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:14,810
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
525
00:22:17,110 --> 00:22:19,770
I feel so much better now.
Thank you.
526
00:22:20,290 --> 00:22:21,640
Fucking bitch.
527
00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:29,210
[hip-hop song playing]
528
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,790
[instructor on speaker] Burn,
but guess what that burn is?
529
00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:37,880
That burn is in your soul.
It is lifting you up.
530
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,320
You are climbing that mountain
531
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,230
and you are reaching
higher heights
532
00:22:41,430 --> 00:22:42,890
than you ever have before.
533
00:22:43,090 --> 00:22:44,310
Keep pedaling.
534
00:22:49,190 --> 00:22:51,540
[breathing heavily]
535
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,900
[unnerving music playing]
536
00:23:13,780 --> 00:23:15,780
[inhales sharply]
537
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,530
[sniffles]
538
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,710
[gurgles]
539
00:23:32,450 --> 00:23:33,800
[swallows]
540
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,930
[exhales sharply]
541
00:23:37,190 --> 00:23:38,760
[whimpers]
542
00:23:42,850 --> 00:23:44,640
[panting]
543
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:51,960
[back-up alarm beeping]
544
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,170
[horn blaring]
545
00:23:57,210 --> 00:23:59,260
[gasping]
546
00:24:01,350 --> 00:24:03,350
[panting]
547
00:24:12,270 --> 00:24:14,400
[mellow music playing]
548
00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:22,330
- [gasps] Hi.
- Hi!
549
00:24:22,530 --> 00:24:24,240
- Hey!
- Hi!
550
00:24:25,370 --> 00:24:26,430
- [giggles]
- [Allison] Hi.
551
00:24:26,630 --> 00:24:29,040
Oh, my God. I love your hair!
552
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,690
- It is so chic. Who did it?
- Ah, thank you! Um...
553
00:24:32,890 --> 00:24:35,300
I, uh, got a new gal.
554
00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:37,870
Well, I gotta get her number.
[laughs]
555
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:39,310
Okay.
556
00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:42,270
Oh, I was so happy
that you reached out.
557
00:24:42,470 --> 00:24:45,230
Because you weren't responding
to any of my texts.
558
00:24:45,430 --> 00:24:47,100
Of course, I wanted
to give you your space,
559
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:48,800
but I was worried.
560
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,280
- [waiter] Hi, good morning.
- Hey!
561
00:24:50,470 --> 00:24:51,580
Can I get you anything?
562
00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:54,530
Uh, yeah. Can I please get
a Jack and Coke?
563
00:24:55,050 --> 00:24:56,980
Uh...
564
00:24:57,180 --> 00:24:59,420
Sorry, our bar doesn't
actually open until 11:00.
565
00:24:59,610 --> 00:25:00,760
Oh.
566
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,250
Uh, okay. In that case,
I'll get a black coffee.
567
00:25:04,450 --> 00:25:06,110
- Oat milk latte.
- You got it.
568
00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:11,730
So, how's, how's work?
569
00:25:11,930 --> 00:25:12,910
You're still at Purdue, right?
570
00:25:13,110 --> 00:25:14,470
- Still repping Purdue.
- Yeah.
571
00:25:14,670 --> 00:25:15,870
You'd think it would've been
a shit show
572
00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:17,690
because of the bankruptcy
and all the lawsuits.
573
00:25:17,890 --> 00:25:19,570
- Mm.
- But, between you and me,
574
00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:21,440
my numbers
have actually increased.
575
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,700
Wow.
576
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:26,050
My bonus last quarter
was insane.
577
00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:28,230
- It sells itself. [chuckles]
- Yeah.
578
00:25:28,430 --> 00:25:29,450
Karl Marx was wrong.
579
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,580
Turns out
the opiate of the masses
580
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:32,670
is opium.
581
00:25:32,870 --> 00:25:34,530
[both chuckle]
582
00:25:37,490 --> 00:25:38,580
Anyway.
583
00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:39,850
How are you doing?
584
00:25:40,050 --> 00:25:41,370
When are you going back
to work?
585
00:25:41,570 --> 00:25:42,720
[smacks lips] Listen,
I'm just gonna cut right to it
586
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:43,810
because you're my friend
587
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:45,810
and I know
you're gonna understand.
588
00:25:46,010 --> 00:25:47,060
Um...
589
00:25:48,190 --> 00:25:50,730
I'm still in a lot of pain.
590
00:25:50,930 --> 00:25:52,250
Oh, Allie...
591
00:25:52,450 --> 00:25:56,380
I know, and my docs
are cutting my Oxy scripts
592
00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:58,650
because everyone's
really freaked out
593
00:25:58,850 --> 00:26:00,130
about addiction these days.
594
00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:01,960
Uh... [hesitates]
595
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,650
So, I was wondering
if it would be possible...
596
00:26:04,850 --> 00:26:06,530
Allie, please tell me
you didn't invite me
597
00:26:06,730 --> 00:26:08,870
to breakfast
to hit me up for pills.
598
00:26:09,260 --> 00:26:10,310
No.
599
00:26:10,510 --> 00:26:12,310
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [sighs]
600
00:26:12,510 --> 00:26:14,530
It's just until I can get in,
and see my docs.
601
00:26:14,730 --> 00:26:16,710
Um, because my fucking mother,
602
00:26:16,910 --> 00:26:19,570
she threw my last refill
into the toilet, so...
603
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,540
No way.
604
00:26:21,740 --> 00:26:23,240
Are you fucking
with me right now?
605
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:24,720
No.
606
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,720
If you have a problem,
you need to get some help.
607
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,160
I can help you
find the right rehab.
608
00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,200
Please don't hand me
a pamphlet.
609
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,730
I already have one.
610
00:26:32,930 --> 00:26:35,030
Well, then find them
on the street if you have to.
611
00:26:35,230 --> 00:26:37,080
Every dive bar
in this town's got a guy
612
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,250
with a pharmacy
in his front pocket.
613
00:26:39,450 --> 00:26:41,200
You know, Becka,
614
00:26:42,470 --> 00:26:44,550
I really didn't want
to do this.
615
00:26:46,340 --> 00:26:47,430
But...
616
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:50,740
there's a handful of things
617
00:26:50,940 --> 00:26:54,010
that happened
at your bachelorette party
618
00:26:54,210 --> 00:26:57,580
that I'm pretty sure
you want to be kept private.
619
00:26:57,780 --> 00:27:01,230
Allison, are you trying
to blackmail me for OxyContin?
620
00:27:01,430 --> 00:27:03,140
I'm just asking you for help.
621
00:27:04,270 --> 00:27:06,490
Like, as a friend.
622
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,490
But you did blow that dancer.
[chuckles]
623
00:27:11,450 --> 00:27:12,640
It happened for a second.
624
00:27:12,830 --> 00:27:15,850
I know, I know.
But you did it, and I saw.
625
00:27:16,850 --> 00:27:17,860
It never went in my mouth.
626
00:27:18,060 --> 00:27:19,560
It was in your mouth.
627
00:27:19,750 --> 00:27:21,430
It was in your mouth.
628
00:27:21,630 --> 00:27:22,770
Past the tip.
629
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,250
Past the fucking tip.
630
00:27:27,290 --> 00:27:28,640
Allie, you need help.
631
00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:31,390
Destroy my life
if you have to.
632
00:27:31,590 --> 00:27:35,010
But for the love of God,
get some fucking help!
633
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,480
Okay, bye.
Fuck you.
634
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,000
Fuck you!
635
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:43,840
[grunts]
636
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,150
Uh... I don't...
Oh, fuck.
637
00:27:46,350 --> 00:27:48,540
[sighs]
638
00:27:48,740 --> 00:27:50,240
I don't have any money.
I'm really sorry.
639
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:51,590
I can't pay for those.
640
00:27:51,790 --> 00:27:54,070
That's okay. Take it.
641
00:27:54,270 --> 00:27:56,060
I mixed in a little tequila
for you.
642
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:01,940
[slurps]
643
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,030
That's disgusting.
644
00:28:07,550 --> 00:28:08,550
Thank you.
645
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,350
[woman] Mr. Adams,
we really wanna do
646
00:28:14,550 --> 00:28:16,600
everything we can
to help Ryan.
647
00:28:18,870 --> 00:28:20,400
But she needs to take
some responsibility
648
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,400
for her behavior.
649
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,570
That girl does not listen
to a thing I say.
650
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:28,620
To be honest,
651
00:28:28,820 --> 00:28:30,360
I was hoping
you were calling me in here
652
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,140
to give me some advice.
653
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,630
I need help.
654
00:28:35,830 --> 00:28:37,630
[man] It's just that
we're a public school.
655
00:28:37,830 --> 00:28:40,550
We have 2,000 kids
to look after.
656
00:28:40,750 --> 00:28:42,120
We don't have the bandwidth
657
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,770
to micromanage her in ways
that she deserves and needs.
658
00:28:44,970 --> 00:28:46,590
So, what are you saying?
659
00:28:47,590 --> 00:28:49,210
I will give her
an extra strike
660
00:28:49,410 --> 00:28:51,650
because of the circumstances.
661
00:28:51,850 --> 00:28:53,300
But if she doesn't tone down
her language
662
00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:54,950
with her teachers
663
00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,900
and gets into one more fight,
664
00:28:57,860 --> 00:28:59,210
we'll have to expel her.
665
00:29:18,490 --> 00:29:19,670
[chair scraps]
666
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,760
Hi, can I get
a double tequila, please?
667
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:32,720
Allison.
668
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,770
Yo, I know you.
669
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:37,900
It's Mark.
670
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:39,960
Yeah, hey.
671
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,830
Yeah.
672
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,480
I haven't seen you
since high school.
673
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,920
This is Diego.
You remember Diego?
674
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,170
- Hey.
- [Diego] Hey.
675
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:50,920
You just having
a little breakfast?
676
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,790
Uh... Um... I just...
677
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,230
I just needed
to get out of the house.
678
00:29:57,430 --> 00:29:59,320
[chuckles] Yeah, I feel that.
679
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,760
I heard what happened to you.
The accident.
680
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:02,940
Saw it in the Star Ledger.
Sorry.
681
00:30:03,140 --> 00:30:04,370
What happened?
682
00:30:04,570 --> 00:30:05,590
[Diego] She was in that
accident on the turnpike.
683
00:30:05,790 --> 00:30:07,160
Two people died.
684
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:08,800
Holy shit.
685
00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:11,240
That was you.
686
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,120
Oh, bro.
687
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,080
That would've fucked me up.
688
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,300
It wasn't my fault.
689
00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:19,990
Yeah, I'm sure.
But, like, still...
690
00:30:25,860 --> 00:30:26,820
[Mark] Damn.
691
00:30:30,260 --> 00:30:33,260
[exhales sharply] Hey, can I
have another one, please?
692
00:30:34,570 --> 00:30:35,740
You having a tough day?
693
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,310
Just a day.
694
00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:41,930
I just wanna get as far away
from here as possible.
695
00:30:42,130 --> 00:30:43,280
Yo, there's this app,
696
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:44,670
it tells you
the exact opposite
697
00:30:44,870 --> 00:30:46,590
of where you are
on the globe is.
698
00:30:46,790 --> 00:30:48,680
That's where you should go.
I'll look it up for you.
699
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,240
[Mark] Yo, that's how I feel
every fuckin' day of my life.
700
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,680
I can't seem to escape
this town.
701
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,340
It's like there's
a force field around it
702
00:30:55,540 --> 00:30:56,990
or something.
703
00:30:57,190 --> 00:30:59,690
Like, some people know
how to get outta here.
704
00:30:59,890 --> 00:31:01,210
But the rest of us,
705
00:31:01,410 --> 00:31:02,950
we just keep banging our heads
up against the glass.
706
00:31:03,150 --> 00:31:05,130
It's Perth. That's the city
707
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:07,000
on the other side of the globe
from here.
708
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,870
You should go to Perth.
709
00:31:09,070 --> 00:31:11,440
I don't have enough money
to get to Perth,
710
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:12,920
but thank you.
711
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,960
Aren't you engaged
to Nathan Adams?
712
00:31:16,170 --> 00:31:18,050
I was, yeah.
713
00:31:18,250 --> 00:31:20,620
He was an amazing running back
in high school.
714
00:31:20,820 --> 00:31:21,800
He used to run
every fucking play.
715
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:22,930
- You remember him, Mark?
- [Mark] Yeah.
716
00:31:23,130 --> 00:31:24,060
[Diego] Every fucking play,
717
00:31:24,260 --> 00:31:25,670
they'd come
on the PA system like,
718
00:31:25,870 --> 00:31:27,630
"Nathan Adams,
the ball carrier.
719
00:31:27,830 --> 00:31:29,280
"Nathan Adams,
the ball carrier."
720
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,240
He was the whole fucking team.
You remember him, Mark?
721
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,110
Yeah, I remember him.
722
00:31:33,310 --> 00:31:34,680
Isn't he deaf?
723
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,070
Uh... In one ear. Since birth.
724
00:31:38,270 --> 00:31:39,380
Wow, that's impressive
725
00:31:39,580 --> 00:31:40,990
that he could be, like,
that good, you know?
726
00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:42,640
And half deaf.
727
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,950
So you're, like, single?
728
00:31:44,150 --> 00:31:47,000
[Mark chuckles] Yo.
Shut the fuck up, Diego.
729
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,430
What? You think
she's gonna date you?
730
00:31:49,630 --> 00:31:51,130
Where are you gonna take her?
You live with your mom.
731
00:31:51,330 --> 00:31:53,960
[chuckles] God damn.
732
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,180
Allison, I'm sorry.
733
00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:58,270
My fucking friend
has no tact at all.
734
00:31:58,470 --> 00:32:01,010
[chuckles]
We're not used to having
735
00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:03,660
pretty girls such as yourself
come in here.
736
00:32:03,860 --> 00:32:05,410
So, you gotta excuse his
737
00:32:05,610 --> 00:32:07,220
lack of decor.
738
00:32:09,490 --> 00:32:10,710
Decorum.
739
00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:12,620
What?
740
00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:15,940
"Decor" is
741
00:32:16,140 --> 00:32:20,110
the Bud Light lamp
above my head.
742
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,850
"Decorum" is his behavior.
743
00:32:25,460 --> 00:32:27,770
Neither is currently ideal.
744
00:32:29,070 --> 00:32:31,160
[men cheering]
745
00:32:32,470 --> 00:32:34,300
Hey, can I ask you
something, like,
746
00:32:35,380 --> 00:32:37,000
between us old friends?
747
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,270
You weren't our friend.
You were popular.
748
00:32:39,470 --> 00:32:41,520
- You were a bitch, actually.
- All right. Diego.
749
00:32:43,260 --> 00:32:45,970
That's old shit.
Right, Allison?
750
00:32:46,170 --> 00:32:48,450
We're past that.
We're grown-ups.
751
00:32:48,650 --> 00:32:51,360
Those of us stuck behind
this force field,
752
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,320
- we gotta stick together.
- [Allison] Yeah.
753
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,550
Um, do you know
where I could get some Oxy?
754
00:32:58,750 --> 00:33:00,070
[chuckling] God damn, girl.
755
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:02,250
No foreplay. No nothing.
756
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,470
No "How are you?
How's your family?"
757
00:33:05,670 --> 00:33:06,980
No, we don't fuck with pills.
758
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,080
I remember in high school
759
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,070
you were the guys
that could, like,
760
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,130
get anything.
761
00:33:13,330 --> 00:33:15,160
And now you're just
buttering us up.
762
00:33:16,770 --> 00:33:18,780
I don't have any money.
763
00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:21,220
How are you gonna pay
for that tequila?
764
00:33:21,420 --> 00:33:23,920
I hadn't got that far yet.
[sighs]
765
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,910
- Is that Rolex real?
- Wait a second.
766
00:33:26,610 --> 00:33:28,530
Wait. Allie Johnson.
767
00:33:28,730 --> 00:33:31,570
Miss lovely Allie Johnson.
[grunts]
768
00:33:32,700 --> 00:33:34,760
You just stroll in here.
769
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,670
[chuckling] You got no money.
770
00:33:36,870 --> 00:33:39,150
And you expect us
to get you Oxy?
771
00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:41,930
For free, and then you want us
to pay for your drink.
772
00:33:43,450 --> 00:33:44,930
Why the fuck would we do that?
773
00:33:46,410 --> 00:33:47,850
Nostalgia?
774
00:33:48,890 --> 00:33:50,250
Old friends?
775
00:33:50,450 --> 00:33:51,860
You thought you were
such hot shit in high school.
776
00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:53,040
You're no
fucking different now.
777
00:33:53,230 --> 00:33:54,590
All right. Shut up.
778
00:33:54,980 --> 00:33:56,340
Sorry.
779
00:33:56,540 --> 00:33:59,690
This guy. No decorum.
780
00:33:59,890 --> 00:34:00,950
No, he's right.
781
00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:04,910
I didn't think I was better
than you. I knew it.
782
00:34:05,950 --> 00:34:07,610
I looked down
on guys like you.
783
00:34:09,090 --> 00:34:11,920
I thought
you were Jersey trash
784
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,610
that would never be able
to make it out of town.
785
00:34:15,530 --> 00:34:17,050
[snorts, laughs]
786
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,410
Fucking bitch.
787
00:34:19,610 --> 00:34:21,320
But now you're sitting here
788
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:23,630
right beside us
789
00:34:23,830 --> 00:34:26,290
and you're looking for a fix.
790
00:34:26,490 --> 00:34:27,850
A favor.
791
00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:30,150
The favor is a fix.
792
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,900
- You're a fucking junkie now.
- No, I'm not.
793
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:35,990
- You're a fucking junkie.
- No.
794
00:34:36,190 --> 00:34:37,080
- [Mark] Yeah, you are.
- Yeah, you are.
795
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,470
Come on.
You're a fuckin' junkie.
796
00:34:38,670 --> 00:34:39,780
No. I'm not like you.
797
00:34:39,980 --> 00:34:41,210
Allie Johnson,
798
00:34:41,410 --> 00:34:43,610
you're so much more
like who you think we are
799
00:34:43,810 --> 00:34:45,210
than we actually are.
800
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,400
Come on.
Say it, say it, say it.
801
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,180
"I'm a fucking junkie."
You might like it.
802
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:53,010
Fuck you. It's a pill.
803
00:34:53,210 --> 00:34:56,140
It's heroin
in a pretty little dress.
804
00:34:56,340 --> 00:34:57,920
I thought you were
the nice one.
805
00:34:59,270 --> 00:35:01,880
Why don't you say it?
Say... Say,
806
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:05,060
"I'm a fucking junkie,"
807
00:35:05,260 --> 00:35:07,710
and then I'll get you whatever
you want. Anything.
808
00:35:09,230 --> 00:35:12,420
Say it. Just, like,
just come out with it.
809
00:35:12,620 --> 00:35:13,590
I'm currently reliant...
810
00:35:13,790 --> 00:35:17,120
No, that's not
what I fucking said.
811
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,990
You sneaky little bitch.
That's not what I fucking said.
812
00:35:20,190 --> 00:35:21,250
- Is that what I said?
- No.
813
00:35:21,450 --> 00:35:23,160
That is not what I said.
814
00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:27,430
Say you're a fuckin' junkie.
Look at me.
815
00:35:27,630 --> 00:35:28,690
Look at me!
816
00:35:29,690 --> 00:35:32,440
Look me in the eyes, and say,
817
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,660
"I'm a fucking junkie."
818
00:35:35,860 --> 00:35:37,130
Say it!
819
00:35:41,220 --> 00:35:42,920
I'm a fucking junkie.
820
00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:48,140
Good girl.
821
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,100
Beth, I got these tequilas.
822
00:35:53,410 --> 00:35:55,640
I'm sorry
for raising my voice.
823
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:56,890
We're just catching up.
824
00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:59,070
Allie, this is Beth.
825
00:35:59,270 --> 00:36:01,120
She's divine. She's the best.
826
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,420
[soft music playing]
827
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:09,950
That's not Oxy.
828
00:36:10,690 --> 00:36:11,900
Same shit.
829
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,960
[coughs hoarsely]
830
00:36:27,830 --> 00:36:28,830
[inhales sharply]
831
00:36:31,140 --> 00:36:32,190
[exhales]
832
00:36:32,390 --> 00:36:34,320
[breathing heavily]
833
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,770
[vomits]
834
00:36:38,970 --> 00:36:40,320
[groaning]
835
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,340
Thank you.
Ooh, she just walked in.
836
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,040
Oh, my God.
I was so worried about you.
837
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,130
Where were you?
838
00:36:56,330 --> 00:36:59,130
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, babe, oh.
839
00:36:59,330 --> 00:37:01,050
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh. No...
840
00:37:01,250 --> 00:37:02,750
I need help.
841
00:37:02,950 --> 00:37:04,100
I know. I never should have
842
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:05,580
flushed those pills
down the toilet.
843
00:37:05,770 --> 00:37:08,100
I had no right. I'm so sorry.
I was just so worried.
844
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:09,320
Can you help me, please, Mama?
845
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,100
Yes, yes, I already did.
846
00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:13,150
Here, I got these from Linda.
847
00:37:13,350 --> 00:37:14,760
She's the woman
who works next to me
848
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,410
in the toy kiosk at the mall.
849
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:17,890
Her doctor gave them to her
850
00:37:18,090 --> 00:37:19,680
after she got punched
in the face by a shoplifter,
851
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:20,890
but she said
she didn't need them.
852
00:37:21,090 --> 00:37:22,200
She swore by the neck brace.
853
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,980
But you need 'em, honey.
So here.
854
00:37:24,180 --> 00:37:26,640
That right there is a gift
from Linda, okay?
855
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,210
And we can worry
about kicking it later.
856
00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:29,640
Let's not rush things.
857
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,860
What matters the most
is that you're home safe.
858
00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:35,120
Oh, babe. [kisses]
Oh, my baby.
859
00:37:39,730 --> 00:37:41,180
Hey, Ry?
860
00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:42,790
[muffled music playing
on speaker]
861
00:37:42,990 --> 00:37:44,780
Got Chinese food!
862
00:37:45,690 --> 00:37:48,140
I got sweet and sour chicken,
863
00:37:48,340 --> 00:37:51,000
beef with broccoli,
steamed rice.
864
00:37:51,740 --> 00:37:52,700
Where are ya?
865
00:37:53,350 --> 00:37:54,660
Hey, Ry?
866
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:56,970
Ryan!
867
00:37:57,170 --> 00:37:58,630
[hip-hop music playing
on speaker]
868
00:37:58,830 --> 00:38:01,070
[gasps] What the...
Daniel, get out!
869
00:38:01,260 --> 00:38:02,370
- [boy whimpering]
- Hey. Hey!
870
00:38:02,570 --> 00:38:04,070
[boy] Okay. Whoa, whoa! Okay.
871
00:38:04,270 --> 00:38:06,160
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down!
It's not what you think.
872
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,420
I'm pretty sure it is
what I think. How old are you?
873
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:09,600
Daniel! Get off of him.
874
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,940
Shut up!
875
00:38:11,140 --> 00:38:12,560
I asked you a question, boy.
How old are you?
876
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:14,910
- I'm 20.
- She's 16, and I'm an ex-cop.
877
00:38:15,100 --> 00:38:16,470
Looks like you picked
the wrong girl.
878
00:38:16,670 --> 00:38:17,690
You're choking him!
879
00:38:17,890 --> 00:38:19,520
She said she was 18 online.
880
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:22,220
If I ever catch you
near my granddaughter again,
881
00:38:22,420 --> 00:38:23,870
I'm gonna rip
your fucking dick off
882
00:38:24,070 --> 00:38:25,480
and shove it down your throat.
You feel me?
883
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,130
[gasping] Yes, sir. Yes.
884
00:38:27,330 --> 00:38:28,920
Get the fuck out of here.
885
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,360
Yes, sir.
Uh, I need my clothes.
886
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,050
They're in my house.
They're my clothes now.
887
00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:35,310
Run away!
888
00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:38,760
[Ryan] Daniel!
889
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:40,800
Get out of my fucking room!
890
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,150
What the fuck?
891
00:38:42,350 --> 00:38:44,150
[loudly] Hey, look, everybody!
892
00:38:44,350 --> 00:38:46,630
Statutory rapist
from Williamsburg!
893
00:38:46,830 --> 00:38:47,850
I need my keys!
894
00:38:48,050 --> 00:38:51,200
Oh, his keys! His keys!
Look at him!
895
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,550
He's scrambling to his car!
Statutory rapist!
896
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:55,770
Hey, Belinda,
897
00:38:55,970 --> 00:38:58,300
I found this fool in bed
with my Ryan.
898
00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:00,170
She said...
She said she was 18 online.
899
00:39:00,370 --> 00:39:01,600
You're a fuckboy.
900
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,870
He's a fuckboy! That's what
the kids call them!
901
00:39:04,070 --> 00:39:06,440
Get out of
our neighborhood, fuckboy!
902
00:39:06,630 --> 00:39:08,000
[grunting] Okay. Okay!
903
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,090
[Belinda]
Get out of here, fuckboy!
904
00:39:09,290 --> 00:39:10,180
All right! All right!
905
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:11,440
Right fucking now!
906
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,530
- Wet, flaccid fuckboy!
- [boy] Okay, okay!
907
00:39:13,730 --> 00:39:14,700
Okay!
908
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,880
I cannot believe
you just did that!
909
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,050
Give me your phone.
910
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,140
Give me the fucking phone
right now!
911
00:39:29,190 --> 00:39:30,590
You're grounded.
912
00:39:30,790 --> 00:39:33,850
You hear me?
You're grounded until...
913
00:39:34,050 --> 00:39:36,990
Shit, I can't think of
when you won't be grounded.
914
00:39:37,190 --> 00:39:38,820
You can't just lock me up,
Daniel.
915
00:39:39,010 --> 00:39:41,770
For the last
fucking time, Ryan,
916
00:39:41,970 --> 00:39:43,820
you call me "Grandpa."
917
00:39:44,020 --> 00:39:44,900
[door slams]
918
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,350
[Ryan crying] I hate you!
I fucking hate you!
919
00:39:50,550 --> 00:39:52,690
[unnerving music playing]
920
00:39:58,780 --> 00:40:00,390
[breathing shakily]
921
00:41:00,060 --> 00:41:02,800
["To the Mountains" playing]
922
00:41:06,110 --> 00:41:09,940
♪ Oh, I'm headed
to the mountains ♪
923
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,690
♪ I'll be back
in a week or two ♪
924
00:41:17,510 --> 00:41:19,700
♪ Don't you try to reach me ♪
925
00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:22,520
♪ 'Cause I won't
pick up for you ♪
926
00:41:25,780 --> 00:41:28,440
♪ I've got some things
I neeed to do ♪
927
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:47,940
♪ Oh, I'm headed
to the mountains ♪
928
00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:52,900
♪ The only place
I feel at peace ♪
929
00:41:55,510 --> 00:41:57,910
♪ And I knew
you'd come after me ♪
930
00:41:58,110 --> 00:41:59,090
♪ So I threw away
your keys... ♪
931
00:41:59,290 --> 00:42:00,730
[indistinct chatter]
932
00:42:02,430 --> 00:42:08,830
♪ But I know you'd never go
when I say leave ♪
933
00:42:09,030 --> 00:42:13,970
♪ I'm headed to the mountains
don't wait up for me ♪
934
00:42:14,170 --> 00:42:16,490
[Allison breathing heavily]
935
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,540
Allison, don't go.
936
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,510
- This was a mistake.
- No. No, it isn't.
937
00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:34,510
Trust me, I know
how hard it is to get here.
938
00:42:34,710 --> 00:42:37,470
It's damn near impossible,
and you did it.
939
00:42:37,670 --> 00:42:39,600
Don't run away now
because of me.
940
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:40,870
There are thousands
of meetings.
941
00:42:41,070 --> 00:42:42,480
- I'll find another one.
- Well, yeah,
942
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,220
but this one
has the best snacks.
943
00:42:44,420 --> 00:42:45,870
- I wanna go.
- No.
944
00:42:46,070 --> 00:42:48,400
No, no. You've made it
this far, and I wouldn't.
945
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,570
I don't wanna be here.
946
00:42:50,770 --> 00:42:52,140
Nobody does in the beginning.
947
00:42:52,340 --> 00:42:54,580
[tearfully]
I don't wanna be anywhere.
948
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,310
Then you are definitely
in the right spot.
949
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,750
I thought you were sober.
950
00:43:00,530 --> 00:43:01,840
Ten years.
951
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,590
I kinda slacked off
coming to regular meetings,
952
00:43:05,790 --> 00:43:07,410
and then lately, I...
953
00:43:08,450 --> 00:43:10,450
I realized I need the support.
954
00:43:11,450 --> 00:43:12,590
Because of what happened?
955
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:15,730
No, no, no! No, it's...
956
00:43:15,930 --> 00:43:17,290
Is the accident the reason
why you came back?
957
00:43:17,490 --> 00:43:18,730
No, I just feel that...
958
00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:20,470
Daniel, am I the reason
why you're back here?
959
00:43:20,670 --> 00:43:21,680
Yes!
960
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:26,990
Yes, of course.
961
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,560
What the hell
do you want me to say?
962
00:43:31,430 --> 00:43:33,270
- I'm sorry.
- No.
963
00:43:33,470 --> 00:43:35,180
Look.
964
00:43:35,380 --> 00:43:39,620
I got ten years,
and lately, I've been feeling
965
00:43:39,820 --> 00:43:43,220
like I really,
really want a drink.
966
00:43:45,050 --> 00:43:46,400
This works.
967
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:49,670
Thank you.
968
00:43:49,870 --> 00:43:52,720
Um, I'm gonna find
somewhere else.
969
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,510
There are thousands
of these meetings.
970
00:43:54,710 --> 00:43:57,850
Yeah, but somehow you found
your way to this one.
971
00:43:59,460 --> 00:44:00,850
Now isn't that something?
972
00:44:03,770 --> 00:44:05,380
All right, come on.
973
00:44:09,990 --> 00:44:11,120
Come on.
974
00:44:13,210 --> 00:44:14,260
Okay.
975
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:17,750
[woman] Everybody, welcome.
976
00:44:17,950 --> 00:44:19,270
This is the regular meeting
977
00:44:19,470 --> 00:44:21,970
of the Live and Let Live group
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
978
00:44:22,170 --> 00:44:23,270
My name is Simone,
979
00:44:23,470 --> 00:44:26,060
and I'm an alcoholic,
and your secretary.
980
00:44:26,260 --> 00:44:29,050
Let us open the meeting
with the Serenity Prayer.
981
00:44:31,230 --> 00:44:32,280
God...
982
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,460
[all] ...grant me the serenity
983
00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:35,980
to accept the things
I cannot change,
984
00:44:36,180 --> 00:44:38,640
the courage
to change the things I can,
985
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,760
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
986
00:44:47,550 --> 00:44:51,130
Hey, you got up awfully early
this morning.
987
00:44:51,330 --> 00:44:53,130
I went to an NA meeting.
988
00:44:53,330 --> 00:44:55,870
- [gasps] What? You did?
- Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
989
00:44:56,070 --> 00:44:59,610
Oh, Allie.
I'm so happy to hear that.
990
00:44:59,810 --> 00:45:01,960
[Allison] Well, I'm not saying
I'm gonna go again.
991
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,270
Well, you gotta start
somewhere,
992
00:45:04,470 --> 00:45:05,840
and sounds like you did.
993
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,400
- Mm-hmm.
- So that's good.
994
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:12,020
I don't know if I'll be able
to just quit, though, Mom.
995
00:45:12,220 --> 00:45:14,110
I think I need real help,
996
00:45:14,310 --> 00:45:16,720
like an in-patient program
or something.
997
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,590
Well, honey,
neither of us has insurance,
998
00:45:18,790 --> 00:45:21,290
so how the hell are we
supposed to pay for that?
999
00:45:21,490 --> 00:45:22,850
I mean, you gotta get a job.
1000
00:45:23,050 --> 00:45:25,640
Mom, who's gonna hire me
like this?
1001
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,730
- Come on.
- Like, no...
1002
00:45:27,930 --> 00:45:28,900
What do you mean?
1003
00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:30,600
You're a beautiful
26-year-old woman.
1004
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,300
- You're smart, you're funny...
- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
1005
00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:35,040
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
1006
00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:36,780
That's the old me
you're describing.
1007
00:45:36,980 --> 00:45:37,870
You're still you.
1008
00:45:38,070 --> 00:45:40,830
No, I'm not! I'm...
1009
00:45:41,030 --> 00:45:43,210
[sighs] I'm something else.
1010
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,170
I'm something...
1011
00:45:47,220 --> 00:45:48,740
Ugh. Um...
1012
00:45:54,180 --> 00:45:56,230
I was thinking, um...
1013
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:03,370
You know how Dad was probably
gonna get me a wedding gift,
1014
00:46:03,570 --> 00:46:05,680
or, well, at least
he was gonna come, right?
1015
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,550
Maybe instead
of whatever it was
1016
00:46:07,750 --> 00:46:09,460
that he was gonna give me,
1017
00:46:10,980 --> 00:46:15,250
maybe he could help pay
for me to get help.
1018
00:46:15,450 --> 00:46:17,770
And so, I was wondering if you
1019
00:46:18,470 --> 00:46:20,000
would call him for me.
1020
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,310
Allie, I will never speak
to that man as long as I live.
1021
00:46:23,510 --> 00:46:24,790
Do you know what he did?
1022
00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:27,440
He packed his car up,
and he left us with nothing.
1023
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,440
But it is what it is, okay?
1024
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,960
So, you gotta pull yourself up
by your bootstraps, now.
1025
00:46:34,570 --> 00:46:35,710
Thanks, Mom.
1026
00:46:35,910 --> 00:46:37,490
Yeah, I'm sorry
I can't get over this
1027
00:46:37,690 --> 00:46:39,320
as fast as you want me to.
1028
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,010
- Allie...
- Nah.
1029
00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:44,320
[somber music playing]
1030
00:46:52,150 --> 00:46:53,810
[Daniel] Well, look who it is.
1031
00:46:54,550 --> 00:46:56,770
Hi, Dad.
1032
00:46:56,970 --> 00:46:59,950
What brings you to the less
glamorous side of the river?
1033
00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:02,350
Ryan asked me to come see her.
1034
00:47:02,540 --> 00:47:05,000
Turns out, she really
wanted me to talk to you.
1035
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,350
- Oh?
- She's worried about you.
1036
00:47:07,550 --> 00:47:09,130
She's worried about me?
1037
00:47:10,130 --> 00:47:11,920
That girl's crazy.
1038
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,840
She says she thinks
you need a friend.
1039
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:16,620
Hell, I don't need a friend.
1040
00:47:16,820 --> 00:47:18,870
I need a dog crate
the size of a teenager.
1041
00:47:22,310 --> 00:47:24,370
Look, Nathan,
I understand your need
1042
00:47:24,570 --> 00:47:26,400
to move on
after the breakup...
1043
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:29,810
but, hell, I never imagined
1044
00:47:30,010 --> 00:47:32,720
I'd be doing this
all by myself.
1045
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,380
You raised two kids.
1046
00:47:34,580 --> 00:47:35,720
I had your mother.
1047
00:47:37,550 --> 00:47:40,160
And you and your sister were
much better behaved than Ry.
1048
00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:41,770
[Nathan scoffs]
1049
00:47:42,900 --> 00:47:45,260
What? Come on.
Speak your mind, son.
1050
00:47:45,460 --> 00:47:48,250
We were good because
we were terrified of you.
1051
00:47:49,950 --> 00:47:51,660
So, I'm not surprised
1052
00:47:51,850 --> 00:47:53,090
you don't have any tools
in your arsenal
1053
00:47:53,290 --> 00:47:55,310
since you lost
the only one that you had.
1054
00:47:55,510 --> 00:47:56,870
Fear.
1055
00:47:59,870 --> 00:48:05,440
I have apologized 100 times
to you for the way I was.
1056
00:48:07,970 --> 00:48:11,410
Your sister found a way
to give me another chance.
1057
00:48:11,610 --> 00:48:13,070
How come you can't?
1058
00:48:13,270 --> 00:48:16,550
'Cause Molly never really got
the brunt of it, did she?
1059
00:48:16,750 --> 00:48:19,600
I guarantee you that if
she was standing here now,
1060
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,210
she would be begging you
to drop this shit,
1061
00:48:22,410 --> 00:48:23,770
and help me raise her child.
1062
00:48:23,970 --> 00:48:25,380
Well, she isn't.
1063
00:48:27,290 --> 00:48:28,770
No, she's not.
1064
00:48:32,820 --> 00:48:34,560
I have to catch the train.
1065
00:48:35,730 --> 00:48:37,170
I saw Allison.
1066
00:48:41,650 --> 00:48:42,710
Where?
1067
00:48:42,910 --> 00:48:44,870
Not supposed to say.
1068
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,450
AA?
1069
00:48:47,650 --> 00:48:48,670
Not supposed to say.
1070
00:48:48,870 --> 00:48:50,020
What the hell
does she need AA for?
1071
00:48:50,220 --> 00:48:51,880
- I'm not supposed to...
- To say.
1072
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,360
I got it.
1073
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,380
Of all the meetings,
she ends up at yours?
1074
00:48:59,570 --> 00:49:01,900
She saw me,
she tried to run away,
1075
00:49:02,100 --> 00:49:04,120
but I pulled her back.
1076
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:05,420
Why?
1077
00:49:06,590 --> 00:49:07,810
She's suffering, Nathan.
1078
00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:10,420
Broken.
1079
00:49:11,290 --> 00:49:12,300
Lost.
1080
00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:14,770
You're the one who blamed her!
1081
00:49:15,900 --> 00:49:17,220
I stood by her!
1082
00:49:17,420 --> 00:49:20,480
Yeah, until she left your ass.
1083
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:23,970
Sorry. Sorry, that came out
harsher than I meant.
1084
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,010
I have to catch the train.
1085
00:49:26,210 --> 00:49:27,440
[Daniel] Please, Nathan.
1086
00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:30,360
I need help.
1087
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,230
Ryan asked me to come by
and say "hi" to you.
1088
00:49:34,270 --> 00:49:35,530
And I did.
1089
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:37,880
Okay.
1090
00:49:40,580 --> 00:49:41,670
Hi.
1091
00:49:53,510 --> 00:49:55,680
[playing classical music]
1092
00:50:00,820 --> 00:50:03,430
- Best first date ever.
- I heard that.
1093
00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:11,000
[Allison laughing]
1094
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,320
[Daniel] I used to drink
whiskey until I blacked out.
1095
00:50:21,750 --> 00:50:23,840
Wake up the next morning
to find out
1096
00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:27,280
what I had done,
who I had been.
1097
00:50:29,850 --> 00:50:30,940
[chuckles]
1098
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:34,980
My father was a drunk.
1099
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:42,030
He beat me
right up to the day he died.
1100
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:48,040
And I vowed I would never
lay a hand on my children.
1101
00:50:50,350 --> 00:50:51,700
And I didn't...
1102
00:50:53,740 --> 00:50:55,260
while I was sober.
1103
00:50:58,180 --> 00:50:59,790
But in the blackness...
1104
00:51:03,580 --> 00:51:07,320
I always denied because
I really couldn't remember.
1105
00:51:09,060 --> 00:51:10,890
Sometimes there'd be a bruise.
1106
00:51:12,980 --> 00:51:16,290
"Oh, you must have
fallen down.
1107
00:51:16,490 --> 00:51:18,460
"I'm your daddy.
I would never hurt you."
1108
00:51:20,030 --> 00:51:22,550
August 11th, '99...
1109
00:51:25,860 --> 00:51:30,300
I woke up on my front porch to
the sound of church bells...
1110
00:51:33,220 --> 00:51:34,910
and an ice cream truck.
1111
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:37,970
So, I knew it was Sunday.
1112
00:51:38,170 --> 00:51:42,220
First thing
I saw was my captain
1113
00:51:43,490 --> 00:51:45,930
standing over me,
1114
00:51:46,130 --> 00:51:48,620
poking me in the ribs
with his nightstick.
1115
00:51:51,930 --> 00:51:53,280
An ambulance.
1116
00:51:55,110 --> 00:51:58,850
My son, Nathan,
sitting in the back,
1117
00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:01,680
bleeding from the head.
1118
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,730
Medics had bought him
a popsicle.
1119
00:52:08,030 --> 00:52:09,900
Turns out that... [sighs]
1120
00:52:11,910 --> 00:52:13,730
in the blackness...
1121
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:20,360
I had beat him so bad
1122
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,580
that he lost the hearing
in his right ear.
1123
00:52:23,780 --> 00:52:24,750
Forever.
1124
00:52:26,180 --> 00:52:29,410
And to this day,
every time I see him,
1125
00:52:29,610 --> 00:52:33,010
I beg for his forgiveness.
1126
00:52:34,450 --> 00:52:36,500
It's just a little dance
we do.
1127
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:39,410
A mere formality.
1128
00:52:41,410 --> 00:52:43,020
Because we both know...
1129
00:52:45,850 --> 00:52:48,380
that there are some things
that are just
1130
00:52:50,030 --> 00:52:51,990
impossible to forgive.
1131
00:52:56,210 --> 00:53:01,220
I do believe
even God knows that.
1132
00:53:08,570 --> 00:53:11,010
When I was a cop,
I used to eat here every day.
1133
00:53:11,970 --> 00:53:13,660
Free coffee refills.
1134
00:53:16,490 --> 00:53:17,490
You hungry?
1135
00:53:19,190 --> 00:53:20,190
No.
1136
00:53:20,930 --> 00:53:21,930
[Daniel] Hmm.
1137
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:26,630
Funny, the things
we stop caring about.
1138
00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:30,420
I used to want to travel.
1139
00:53:32,070 --> 00:53:34,220
I would leaf through
National Geographic
1140
00:53:34,410 --> 00:53:36,220
and dog-ear
all of the exotic places
1141
00:53:36,420 --> 00:53:38,600
I would visit once I retired.
1142
00:53:41,390 --> 00:53:43,310
Never do that now.
1143
00:53:43,510 --> 00:53:46,130
- You still could.
- No, no. I couldn't.
1144
00:53:51,220 --> 00:53:56,880
I wasn't drunk,
or on anything, by the way.
1145
00:53:57,660 --> 00:53:58,670
What?
1146
00:53:59,930 --> 00:54:02,360
When I saw you the other day
at the meeting,
1147
00:54:04,060 --> 00:54:08,120
I instantly got worried
that you may have thought
1148
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,300
that I was drinking
or on drugs
1149
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:12,990
on the day of the accident,
and I wasn't.
1150
00:54:13,190 --> 00:54:15,510
I was sober.
It wasn't my fault.
1151
00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:19,430
I have every report
ever written
1152
00:54:19,630 --> 00:54:21,300
committed to memory.
1153
00:54:21,950 --> 00:54:23,040
Right.
1154
00:54:25,340 --> 00:54:26,530
So, you know that it was
1155
00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:28,270
the backhoe guy's fault,
Alvarez.
1156
00:54:28,470 --> 00:54:29,970
I don't wanna get
into that all right now.
1157
00:54:30,170 --> 00:54:31,570
Okay, yeah, you're right.
1158
00:54:36,530 --> 00:54:39,230
Nathan said that he was deaf
since birth.
1159
00:54:40,580 --> 00:54:41,930
He never told you?
1160
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,490
Maybe he wanted me
to like you.
1161
00:54:47,060 --> 00:54:48,720
I doubt that.
1162
00:54:52,370 --> 00:54:56,380
I thought that raising Ryan
would offer me the chance
1163
00:54:56,580 --> 00:54:59,120
to be a better father
than I ever was.
1164
00:54:59,990 --> 00:55:01,650
Shit.
1165
00:55:01,850 --> 00:55:04,610
I'm in way over my head.
1166
00:55:04,810 --> 00:55:07,870
I got one of those audiobooks
from the library.
1167
00:55:08,070 --> 00:55:09,140
How to Talk to a Teen.
1168
00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:11,090
[chuckles] Oh, yeah?
1169
00:55:11,290 --> 00:55:12,750
How's that working out?
1170
00:55:12,950 --> 00:55:15,360
- Well, it's from the '80s...
- [laughs]
1171
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:16,710
It's on a cassette.
1172
00:55:16,910 --> 00:55:17,800
Right.
1173
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,490
Its advice is,
1174
00:55:20,830 --> 00:55:22,310
"Chaperone a dance."
1175
00:55:22,790 --> 00:55:24,450
[laughs]
1176
00:55:26,060 --> 00:55:28,240
"Chaperone a dance."
1177
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,160
I just caught her having sex
1178
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,500
with a boy
who looked like a man.
1179
00:55:34,890 --> 00:55:36,760
A dance would be delightful.
1180
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,110
Can I give you some advice
1181
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,120
from a former teenage girl?
1182
00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,380
She's gonna have sex.
1183
00:55:47,820 --> 00:55:50,780
And nothing you say
is gonna change that.
1184
00:55:53,260 --> 00:55:55,360
Just make sure
she's on birth control.
1185
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:56,570
- Birth control?
- Yeah.
1186
00:55:56,770 --> 00:55:59,010
She's 16!
1187
00:55:59,210 --> 00:56:01,310
No, we'll be going
the abstinence route.
1188
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:03,630
No offense, Daniel,
1189
00:56:03,820 --> 00:56:06,490
but, uh, there's a knot
in your logic.
1190
00:56:07,970 --> 00:56:09,280
You're trying to solve
a problem
1191
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:11,190
by looking
in the other direction.
1192
00:56:14,630 --> 00:56:16,510
I could talk to her
if you want me to.
1193
00:56:16,710 --> 00:56:18,470
Oh, well, no thanks.
1194
00:56:18,670 --> 00:56:20,080
- It's okay. Of course.
- That's not appropriate.
1195
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:21,510
I don't even know
why I just said that.
1196
00:56:21,710 --> 00:56:22,770
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
1197
00:56:22,970 --> 00:56:24,300
It's just that
I don't think that it's...
1198
00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:25,940
I just felt the need,
1199
00:56:27,420 --> 00:56:30,380
um, the instinct
to help in some way.
1200
00:56:31,340 --> 00:56:32,860
It's the least I could do.
1201
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:42,350
I don't know how to do this.
1202
00:56:43,350 --> 00:56:44,310
What?
1203
00:56:44,830 --> 00:56:46,350
Start all over.
1204
00:56:48,140 --> 00:56:49,490
How do you do it?
1205
00:56:50,750 --> 00:56:52,140
[Daniel] Takes work.
1206
00:56:55,150 --> 00:56:58,110
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Sure.
1207
00:57:03,110 --> 00:57:05,330
I'm not sure I have the will.
1208
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:30,010
What does "amor fati" mean?
1209
00:57:31,570 --> 00:57:32,660
[Daniel sighs]
1210
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:35,530
Certain things are private.
1211
00:57:36,710 --> 00:57:38,540
Do you think I'm fucked up?
1212
00:57:39,970 --> 00:57:42,020
Are you high right now?
1213
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:44,460
No.
1214
00:57:45,850 --> 00:57:47,770
I was a cop for 40 years.
1215
00:57:47,970 --> 00:57:49,550
I was an addict for 50.
1216
00:57:51,070 --> 00:57:53,160
So, I'm gonna ask you again.
1217
00:57:54,380 --> 00:57:55,900
Are you high right now?
1218
00:57:56,900 --> 00:57:58,120
Well, I...
1219
00:57:59,950 --> 00:58:01,530
I broke a pill in half.
1220
00:58:01,730 --> 00:58:03,040
So, half.
1221
00:58:04,870 --> 00:58:07,300
Yes, I think
you're fucked up, Allison.
1222
00:58:10,220 --> 00:58:11,530
Not half.
1223
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,190
All fucked up.
1224
00:58:14,390 --> 00:58:16,180
Do you think
I'll ever pull out of this?
1225
00:58:18,010 --> 00:58:23,320
I mean, like, maybe one day
I might be the kind of person
1226
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,160
that people want
their granddaughter
1227
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,200
to hang out with?
1228
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:29,980
I have no idea.
1229
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:33,030
Me neither.
1230
00:58:35,860 --> 00:58:38,210
[soft country music playing]
1231
00:58:48,350 --> 00:58:51,270
Can I have
my phone back, please?
1232
00:58:51,470 --> 00:58:54,180
I'm running out of ideas
on how to handle you, Ryan.
1233
00:58:55,270 --> 00:58:56,750
Grandpa,
everybody at my age has sex.
1234
00:58:56,950 --> 00:58:58,630
It's, like, not a big deal.
1235
00:58:58,830 --> 00:59:00,020
I know it was different
when you were younger,
1236
00:59:00,220 --> 00:59:02,930
but that's just, like,
not how it is anymore.
1237
00:59:06,890 --> 00:59:09,240
[smacks lips] Well,
let me ask you something.
1238
00:59:15,460 --> 00:59:16,500
Are you...
1239
00:59:19,030 --> 00:59:21,070
Are you using
1240
00:59:21,900 --> 00:59:24,130
any protection?
1241
00:59:24,330 --> 00:59:25,740
Oh, my God!
1242
00:59:25,940 --> 00:59:28,440
I am so not gonna talk about
this with my grandfather.
1243
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,520
How the hell
do you think I feel?
1244
00:59:32,830 --> 00:59:34,490
[both sigh]
1245
00:59:34,690 --> 00:59:37,010
- I know you're upset.
- I'm not upset.
1246
00:59:37,210 --> 00:59:38,350
Maybe you should go back
1247
00:59:39,220 --> 00:59:40,670
and see that therapist again.
1248
00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:42,050
No. I just
1249
00:59:43,180 --> 00:59:45,760
want my phone back.
1250
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,980
I don't have any friends
at Columbia
1251
00:59:49,180 --> 00:59:51,290
and I want to
1252
00:59:51,490 --> 00:59:54,020
hang onto the few I still have
on Long Beach Island.
1253
00:59:55,370 --> 00:59:56,990
How come
you can't make friends?
1254
00:59:57,190 --> 00:59:58,720
I've been through a lot
this year.
1255
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:00,500
[Daniel] Hmm.
1256
01:00:01,460 --> 01:00:03,940
And nobody really understands.
1257
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,600
They try. Some, but...
1258
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:10,090
I mean, it's fake.
1259
01:00:10,290 --> 01:00:11,990
Don't you think
most people are so fake?
1260
01:00:13,430 --> 01:00:16,040
I would probably say
"duplicitous."
1261
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:18,130
What does that mean?
1262
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:20,400
Fake.
1263
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:21,610
[chuckles]
1264
01:00:23,570 --> 01:00:24,920
I'm on your side.
1265
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:27,920
I know.
1266
01:00:28,580 --> 01:00:30,150
Tell you what.
1267
01:00:30,350 --> 01:00:33,020
You can have your phone back
1268
01:00:33,220 --> 01:00:36,900
if you promise to start taking
birth control pills.
1269
01:00:37,100 --> 01:00:38,900
Ugh! Oh, my God! Daniel!
1270
01:00:39,100 --> 01:00:40,110
Grandpa!
1271
01:00:40,980 --> 01:00:41,980
[sighs]
1272
01:00:42,940 --> 01:00:44,030
Grandpa.
1273
01:00:45,460 --> 01:00:48,340
Is it a deal?
I'll make the appointment.
1274
01:00:49,990 --> 01:00:52,170
Fine. Fine.
1275
01:00:52,370 --> 01:00:53,650
I just
1276
01:00:53,850 --> 01:00:56,780
never want to talk to you
about sex ever again.
1277
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,130
Oh, really?
1278
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:02,780
'Cause I just love this shit.
1279
01:01:09,700 --> 01:01:11,450
Have you ever been
on campus before?
1280
01:01:11,650 --> 01:01:13,150
Not since I was a kid.
1281
01:01:13,350 --> 01:01:14,810
I used to do swim meets here.
1282
01:01:15,010 --> 01:01:16,110
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1283
01:01:16,310 --> 01:01:18,110
- You were a swimmer?
- [chuckling] Uh, yeah.
1284
01:01:18,310 --> 01:01:20,640
Well, I was 12, but yeah,
I was pretty good.
1285
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,770
I still have all the trophies
and the ribbons.
1286
01:01:22,970 --> 01:01:24,730
- That's cool.
- Mmm.
1287
01:01:24,930 --> 01:01:27,680
- What stroke?
- Mostly freestyle.
1288
01:01:29,070 --> 01:01:30,330
Why'd you stop?
1289
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:34,350
Um, my dad left.
1290
01:01:34,550 --> 01:01:37,180
Yeah, it was kinda the thing
that we used to do together.
1291
01:01:37,380 --> 01:01:39,610
He would cheer so loud
I could hear him underwater.
1292
01:01:39,810 --> 01:01:40,960
[chuckles]
1293
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,040
Seemed kind of pointless
to do it without him.
1294
01:01:44,390 --> 01:01:46,790
- Where'd he go?
- Ohio.
1295
01:01:48,130 --> 01:01:49,620
Started a whole new family
in Ohio.
1296
01:01:49,820 --> 01:01:51,190
Wow.
1297
01:01:51,390 --> 01:01:53,930
He has 10-year-old twins.
Yeah.
1298
01:01:54,130 --> 01:01:56,020
I don't know
if they swim or not, though.
1299
01:01:56,220 --> 01:01:58,590
Oh, man. I am always
just amazed at people
1300
01:01:58,790 --> 01:02:01,160
who can, like, up and leave
their kids like that.
1301
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:02,290
[Allison] Mmm.
1302
01:02:02,490 --> 01:02:03,640
I just don't know
how you could,
1303
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,730
like, fucking sleep at night.
1304
01:02:06,930 --> 01:02:10,820
For so long, I thought
that I'd done something wrong.
1305
01:02:11,020 --> 01:02:14,330
Like, it was my fault,
or I'd let him down.
1306
01:02:15,510 --> 01:02:18,300
And then I just realized,
1307
01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:21,610
I don't know, maybe
some people just aren't good.
1308
01:02:21,810 --> 01:02:22,820
[Simone] Hmm.
1309
01:02:24,340 --> 01:02:26,570
It's kinda like he, like,
restarted a level
1310
01:02:26,770 --> 01:02:29,010
in a video game
with a fresh life.
1311
01:02:29,210 --> 01:02:31,530
- [both laugh]
- That's exactly what he did!
1312
01:02:31,730 --> 01:02:35,540
He packed up the car,
and left his Rolex
1313
01:02:35,740 --> 01:02:38,190
in the attic of my dollhouse,
1314
01:02:38,390 --> 01:02:39,840
and he drove away.
1315
01:02:43,670 --> 01:02:44,630
Hey, let's sit
for a second, okay?
1316
01:02:44,830 --> 01:02:46,500
- Yeah, yeah.
- [clears throat]
1317
01:02:48,150 --> 01:02:51,690
Uh... So, I'll sponsor you.
1318
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:54,820
- Okay.
- But, um,
1319
01:02:55,020 --> 01:02:56,810
you gotta start
taking this shit seriously.
1320
01:02:58,290 --> 01:03:00,650
You can't keep coming
to meetings high.
1321
01:03:00,850 --> 01:03:02,160
What? [chuckles]
1322
01:03:04,990 --> 01:03:06,660
How did you know?
1323
01:03:06,860 --> 01:03:08,010
[laughs]
1324
01:03:08,210 --> 01:03:10,790
Uh, because I was you.
1325
01:03:10,990 --> 01:03:13,790
And I've helped
dozens of women who were you.
1326
01:03:15,220 --> 01:03:19,010
And some beat it,
and some are dead.
1327
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:23,100
But, you know,
1328
01:03:24,270 --> 01:03:26,630
if you want my time,
you gotta commit.
1329
01:03:26,830 --> 01:03:27,940
Because I have a toddler
so I just
1330
01:03:28,140 --> 01:03:29,240
- don't have time for bullshit.
- Yeah.
1331
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,990
No, I do. I... I...
I really wanna beat it.
1332
01:03:33,190 --> 01:03:35,770
Then I want you to do
90 meetings in 90 days.
1333
01:03:35,970 --> 01:03:37,340
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1334
01:03:37,540 --> 01:03:40,250
And, um, we're gonna
get you started on step one.
1335
01:03:41,330 --> 01:03:42,290
Okay.
1336
01:03:43,550 --> 01:03:44,610
Okay.
1337
01:03:44,810 --> 01:03:48,390
Also, enough hiding out, man.
1338
01:03:48,590 --> 01:03:49,730
It's time you shared
with the group.
1339
01:03:51,820 --> 01:03:53,830
- All right.
- Uh...
1340
01:03:56,440 --> 01:04:02,490
[nervously] Hi, I'm Allison,
and I'm addicted to, uh,
1341
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:05,320
pills.
1342
01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:07,500
[group] Hi, Allison.
1343
01:04:07,700 --> 01:04:08,710
[Allison] Uh...
1344
01:04:10,190 --> 01:04:12,290
Sorry. Can I start again?
1345
01:04:12,490 --> 01:04:14,510
I've never done this before,
and I'm nervous.
1346
01:04:14,710 --> 01:04:15,720
You got it.
1347
01:04:16,890 --> 01:04:18,550
[breathes deeply]
1348
01:04:20,370 --> 01:04:25,340
Hi, I'm Allison,
and I'm an addict.
1349
01:04:25,540 --> 01:04:27,290
[group] Hi, Allison.
1350
01:04:30,470 --> 01:04:31,650
I...
1351
01:04:33,910 --> 01:04:34,870
Um...
1352
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:39,650
I was the driver
1353
01:04:41,090 --> 01:04:43,010
of a car
1354
01:04:43,210 --> 01:04:44,920
that was in
a really bad accident.
1355
01:04:48,180 --> 01:04:49,580
Two people died.
1356
01:04:53,190 --> 01:04:54,490
The woman was...
1357
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:01,680
The woman was about to be
my sister-in-law.
1358
01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:08,250
We were on our way to try on
my wedding dresses.
1359
01:05:10,950 --> 01:05:12,520
[shudders]
1360
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:13,730
And then we weren't.
1361
01:05:15,210 --> 01:05:16,470
It wasn't my fault. [sighs]
1362
01:05:18,130 --> 01:05:21,610
I wasn't on drugs or booze,
or drunk, or anything.
1363
01:05:23,700 --> 01:05:24,870
But, uh...
1364
01:05:35,270 --> 01:05:39,020
[voice breaking]
Surviving that day was, is...
1365
01:05:42,370 --> 01:05:44,210
the most painful thing
1366
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:46,150
I will ever
have to live through.
1367
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:51,030
[sniffles] I got hurt, too.
1368
01:05:52,030 --> 01:05:53,770
They put a hole in my head.
1369
01:05:54,820 --> 01:05:56,780
And, um, [sniffles]
1370
01:05:56,980 --> 01:05:58,440
that helped because
at least I had something
1371
01:05:58,640 --> 01:05:59,910
I could blame the pain on.
1372
01:06:02,650 --> 01:06:03,910
But then that healed...
1373
01:06:06,780 --> 01:06:08,220
and I was still hurting.
1374
01:06:10,180 --> 01:06:11,360
And I guess that's why
I didn't realize
1375
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:13,410
how bad it was because to me...
1376
01:06:13,610 --> 01:06:15,760
[breathes shakily]
1377
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:17,460
I was still in so much pain.
1378
01:06:17,660 --> 01:06:20,450
- [shuddering]
- [rubbing stomach]
1379
01:06:27,590 --> 01:06:30,770
I was, um, prescribed them
for physical pain,
1380
01:06:30,970 --> 01:06:32,980
and they really helped
with that. They really did.
1381
01:06:37,380 --> 01:06:39,900
But they made me numb.
Blissfully numb.
1382
01:06:45,470 --> 01:06:47,090
Without them I want to die.
1383
01:06:48,740 --> 01:06:50,350
[sniffles] Every day.
1384
01:06:54,090 --> 01:06:56,880
I've never said that
out loud before. [sobs]
1385
01:07:00,050 --> 01:07:01,010
Um...
1386
01:07:03,010 --> 01:07:05,800
I've never really faced
reality without them.
1387
01:07:06,580 --> 01:07:08,070
[sniffling]
1388
01:07:08,270 --> 01:07:10,290
And I don't know if I'll be
able to handle what I see,
1389
01:07:10,490 --> 01:07:13,720
but I'm here to try.
1390
01:07:18,510 --> 01:07:19,900
Okay. That's it. [sniffles]
1391
01:07:21,380 --> 01:07:23,690
That's it. [sighing heavily]
1392
01:07:27,430 --> 01:07:28,600
What happens now?
1393
01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:34,260
[breathing heavily]
1394
01:07:37,090 --> 01:07:39,790
[toy train horn tooting]
1395
01:07:44,930 --> 01:07:46,100
You made all of this?
1396
01:07:47,620 --> 01:07:51,250
Uh, I assembled it
and designed it.
1397
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:52,990
Yeah.
1398
01:07:53,190 --> 01:07:56,900
You see,
the houses come as a kit.
1399
01:07:57,100 --> 01:07:59,860
You just assemble them
and paint them...
1400
01:08:00,060 --> 01:08:02,380
Schoolhouse,
I built from scratch.
1401
01:08:06,820 --> 01:08:10,130
Hey, there are two kids
making out back here.
1402
01:08:10,330 --> 01:08:11,820
- That's me.
- [chuckles]
1403
01:08:12,950 --> 01:08:14,820
- You were handsome.
- [laughs]
1404
01:08:15,260 --> 01:08:16,300
And tiny.
1405
01:08:17,830 --> 01:08:21,480
Yeah, my very first kiss
behind the schoolhouse.
1406
01:08:23,140 --> 01:08:24,620
Olivia Williams.
1407
01:08:26,490 --> 01:08:28,850
It was fall.
Tip of her nose was cold.
1408
01:08:29,050 --> 01:08:30,110
[chuckles]
1409
01:08:30,310 --> 01:08:32,070
Little runny.
1410
01:08:32,270 --> 01:08:35,410
She stood on tiptoe.
Tasted like bubble gum.
1411
01:08:36,630 --> 01:08:37,510
[Allison] Is that
who you married?
1412
01:08:37,710 --> 01:08:39,510
No! No, no.
1413
01:08:39,710 --> 01:08:43,340
No, she dumped me the next day
for Charlie Cook.
1414
01:08:43,540 --> 01:08:46,650
- Oh.
- He smoked Camels.
1415
01:08:46,850 --> 01:08:50,260
And drove
a Buick Riviera Roadmaster.
1416
01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:52,510
So, is this all inspired
by your life?
1417
01:08:53,300 --> 01:08:54,300
Kinda.
1418
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:57,130
Supposed to be South Orange.
1419
01:08:58,480 --> 01:08:59,520
I grew up here.
1420
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,610
I was a cop in Newark.
1421
01:09:03,660 --> 01:09:05,010
I've always lived here.
1422
01:09:07,180 --> 01:09:08,180
Who's the soldier?
1423
01:09:09,010 --> 01:09:10,320
[Daniel] That's me.
1424
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,750
Day I got home from Vietnam.
1425
01:09:14,100 --> 01:09:16,500
That other little figure there
is my father.
1426
01:09:16,700 --> 01:09:19,900
He came down to the station
to pick me up.
1427
01:09:20,100 --> 01:09:21,940
- This is incredible.
- Mm.
1428
01:09:23,500 --> 01:09:25,170
How long did it take you?
1429
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,170
Years.
1430
01:09:27,370 --> 01:09:29,420
I started
with a single figure-eight
1431
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:32,080
and a two-car train.
1432
01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:34,510
I work on it when I can.
1433
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:37,600
Got more time
now that I've retired.
1434
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:40,350
My wife passed.
1435
01:09:40,550 --> 01:09:42,740
Ryan used to hang out with me
down here.
1436
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:46,880
She liked the whistle
and the microphone.
1437
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:48,230
There's a microphone?
1438
01:09:48,430 --> 01:09:49,670
Right over there.
1439
01:09:49,870 --> 01:09:51,280
How else you gonna tell
your passengers
1440
01:09:51,480 --> 01:09:53,050
- that the train's coming?
- [laughs]
1441
01:09:57,670 --> 01:09:59,460
[toy train horn tooting]
1442
01:09:59,660 --> 01:10:01,580
[chuckles]
1443
01:10:07,630 --> 01:10:09,120
[Allison singing "Take
The Last Train to Clarksville"]
1444
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:12,560
♪ Take the last train
to Clarksville ♪
1445
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:15,610
♪ And I'll meet you
at the station ♪
1446
01:10:15,810 --> 01:10:18,480
♪ You can be there by 4:30 ♪
1447
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:20,570
♪ 'Cause I booked
your reservation♪
1448
01:10:20,770 --> 01:10:22,400
♪ Don't be slow ♪
1449
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:24,530
[both singing]
♪ Oh no no no♪
1450
01:10:24,730 --> 01:10:26,920
♪ Oh no no no ♪
1451
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:29,230
♪ And I don't know
if I'm ever♪
1452
01:10:29,430 --> 01:10:30,930
[both sing]
♪ Coming home ♪
1453
01:10:31,130 --> 01:10:32,320
[Daniel laughs]
1454
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:34,710
That was just a little
serenade for your people
1455
01:10:34,910 --> 01:10:36,280
from the heavens above.
1456
01:10:36,480 --> 01:10:39,500
Think that's one of the
reasons I enjoy it so much.
1457
01:10:39,700 --> 01:10:42,200
Why?
'Cause you get to play God?
1458
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:45,890
Well, so much of my life
has been outta control.
1459
01:10:48,060 --> 01:10:50,160
Down here,
1460
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:53,160
I get to decide
if Olivia chooses me.
1461
01:10:55,070 --> 01:10:57,040
I get to decide
if my father comes
1462
01:10:57,240 --> 01:10:59,420
to pick me up at the station
when I get home.
1463
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:01,780
Did he?
1464
01:11:01,980 --> 01:11:02,950
No.
1465
01:11:05,210 --> 01:11:08,080
He was passed out drunk
in our backyard.
1466
01:11:10,780 --> 01:11:13,390
He'd lain face down so long,
1467
01:11:14,740 --> 01:11:17,310
an inch of snow had gathered
on his back.
1468
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,970
Next morning at breakfast,
he offered me a beer,
1469
01:11:25,620 --> 01:11:26,670
so...
1470
01:11:28,370 --> 01:11:30,590
I had a beer with him
at breakfast,
1471
01:11:32,940 --> 01:11:34,290
and I never stopped.
1472
01:11:39,730 --> 01:11:41,550
When did you last talk
to Nathan?
1473
01:11:46,250 --> 01:11:48,130
Daniel, this is God.
1474
01:11:48,330 --> 01:11:51,430
Allison would like you to
change the conversation now.
1475
01:11:52,910 --> 01:11:54,790
- I'll bet she would.
- [chuckles]
1476
01:11:54,990 --> 01:11:57,310
All right.
Let's get outta here.
1477
01:11:58,220 --> 01:11:59,270
[switch clicks]
1478
01:12:03,140 --> 01:12:05,320
[music playing on headphones]
1479
01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:10,070
[Daniel] Ryan?
1480
01:12:10,270 --> 01:12:12,420
It's only one o'clock.
Why are you home?
1481
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,900
We had a half-day
for the active shooter drill.
1482
01:12:15,100 --> 01:12:17,080
- I told you this morning.
- [Daniel sighs]
1483
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:20,170
Well, this is a friend of mine
from the program.
1484
01:12:20,370 --> 01:12:21,160
Hi.
1485
01:12:22,420 --> 01:12:23,950
Hi.
1486
01:12:24,150 --> 01:12:25,870
- You should probably get going.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1487
01:12:26,070 --> 01:12:27,740
I'm gonna go.
1488
01:12:27,940 --> 01:12:30,130
Wait, I know you
from somewhere.
1489
01:12:30,330 --> 01:12:31,300
No, you don't.
1490
01:12:31,730 --> 01:12:32,610
You do?
1491
01:12:32,810 --> 01:12:33,650
How do I know you?
1492
01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:36,270
Uh... My... I'm...
1493
01:12:36,470 --> 01:12:37,710
I'm Allison.
1494
01:12:37,900 --> 01:12:39,360
Yeah, I've seen you before.
1495
01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:41,670
I thought you said the active
shooter drill ended at 2:00.
1496
01:12:41,870 --> 01:12:43,890
Yeah, that's when the pretend
shooter fights back.
1497
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:45,970
Today, he shot himself,
so we got out early.
1498
01:12:47,580 --> 01:12:48,670
Why do I know you?
1499
01:12:48,870 --> 01:12:50,410
I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to say.
1500
01:12:50,610 --> 01:12:52,550
- You were Nathan's fiancee.
- No.
1501
01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:54,200
- You were in the car.
- No.
1502
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:56,460
- I was, yeah.
- Weren't you driving?
1503
01:12:56,660 --> 01:12:57,460
Wasn't she driving?
1504
01:12:57,660 --> 01:12:58,940
We're in the program together.
1505
01:12:59,140 --> 01:13:01,080
- But I thought you said
it was her fault.
- What?
1506
01:13:01,280 --> 01:13:03,340
How could you bring her
into our house?
1507
01:13:03,540 --> 01:13:04,910
Get out of our fucking house!
1508
01:13:05,110 --> 01:13:06,820
- Okay. It's okay.
- [Daniel] I'm sorry. I...
1509
01:13:07,020 --> 01:13:09,520
I'm so sorry.
I thought you were in school.
1510
01:13:09,720 --> 01:13:10,960
You ruined my fucking life!
1511
01:13:11,160 --> 01:13:14,220
I know, I know, I know.
I'm... I'm really sorry.
1512
01:13:14,420 --> 01:13:17,530
[crying] You shouldn't
be here! This is our house!
1513
01:13:17,730 --> 01:13:18,790
My mom grew up in here!
1514
01:13:18,990 --> 01:13:21,010
I sleep in her bedroom.
I use her sheets!
1515
01:13:21,210 --> 01:13:23,050
[Daniel] All right. All right.
She's leaving.
1516
01:13:23,250 --> 01:13:25,270
Uh, just in case
this is the last time
1517
01:13:25,470 --> 01:13:27,440
I ever get to talk to you,
please know,
1518
01:13:29,180 --> 01:13:31,660
I also wish it was me.
1519
01:13:32,490 --> 01:13:33,750
Okay? I do.
1520
01:13:35,010 --> 01:13:36,240
I'm gonna go.
1521
01:13:36,440 --> 01:13:38,190
[voice breaking]
I never got to say goodbye.
1522
01:13:39,410 --> 01:13:42,110
[Allison sighs] I know.
1523
01:13:45,420 --> 01:13:48,680
They were going to see a play.
1524
01:13:54,340 --> 01:13:55,470
I know.
1525
01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:58,570
She wanted to see a musical,
1526
01:13:58,770 --> 01:14:00,910
because she loved
all the fancy costumes.
1527
01:14:06,050 --> 01:14:07,450
I didn't know that.
1528
01:14:07,650 --> 01:14:10,410
She said you made Nate
really happy.
1529
01:14:10,610 --> 01:14:12,440
That you were the best thing
that ever happened to him.
1530
01:14:13,790 --> 01:14:15,320
He made me happy, too.
1531
01:14:20,150 --> 01:14:22,240
[softly] Okay, I'm gonna go.
1532
01:14:23,190 --> 01:14:24,410
- [door opens]
- Allison.
1533
01:14:27,150 --> 01:14:28,150
Yeah.
1534
01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:31,030
Would you like to stay
for dinner?
1535
01:14:31,900 --> 01:14:33,160
What?
1536
01:14:34,900 --> 01:14:35,730
Uh...
1537
01:14:45,780 --> 01:14:49,050
So, you're an alcoholic, too?
1538
01:14:49,250 --> 01:14:50,400
[chidingly] Ryan.
1539
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:51,570
Uh, no.
1540
01:14:53,010 --> 01:14:55,670
Alcohol's not exactly
my problem.
1541
01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:57,540
- What is? Meth?
- [Allison snorts]
1542
01:14:57,740 --> 01:14:58,850
Ryan.
1543
01:14:59,050 --> 01:15:02,100
No. Not meth. Um...
1544
01:15:05,190 --> 01:15:07,280
[smacks lips]
Prescription painkillers.
1545
01:15:08,020 --> 01:15:09,120
Oxy.
1546
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:10,770
How do you know about Oxy?
1547
01:15:10,970 --> 01:15:12,470
Kids at my school snort it.
1548
01:15:12,670 --> 01:15:13,600
It's heroin!
1549
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:14,950
No, it's not.
1550
01:15:15,150 --> 01:15:16,340
I could get it easier
than I could get a beer.
1551
01:15:16,540 --> 01:15:17,730
They sell it at Rite Aid.
1552
01:15:18,290 --> 01:15:19,430
[Daniel scoffs]
1553
01:15:19,630 --> 01:15:21,260
- So why'd you dump Uncle Nate?
- Ryan.
1554
01:15:21,460 --> 01:15:22,650
[Ryan] He said you ghosted him.
1555
01:15:22,850 --> 01:15:23,960
It's not your business.
1556
01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:26,830
I just don't understand how
1557
01:15:27,030 --> 01:15:28,620
if he was gonna stay with you,
1558
01:15:28,810 --> 01:15:30,700
even after
everything that happened,
1559
01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:31,780
why'd you dump him?
1560
01:15:33,130 --> 01:15:34,350
I was upset.
1561
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:40,060
And so I ran.
1562
01:15:40,260 --> 01:15:41,760
- Like you, quitting soccer.
- [curtly] Shut up!
1563
01:15:41,960 --> 01:15:43,590
You don't say
"shut up" to me!
1564
01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:44,970
Ever again!
1565
01:15:47,890 --> 01:15:49,550
Why'd you quit soccer?
1566
01:15:49,750 --> 01:15:51,070
- She got into a fight.
- 'Cause I hate every girl
on the team.
1567
01:15:51,270 --> 01:15:52,190
Oh.
1568
01:15:53,890 --> 01:15:55,940
Your parents were telling me
how amazing you were.
1569
01:15:57,500 --> 01:15:59,210
- They were?
- [Allison] Mm-hmm.
1570
01:15:59,410 --> 01:16:01,170
Your dad actually was saying
1571
01:16:01,370 --> 01:16:03,120
how you were definitely
gonna get a scholarship.
1572
01:16:04,990 --> 01:16:06,560
I wanna go to Stanford.
1573
01:16:07,170 --> 01:16:08,830
[Daniel laughing]
1574
01:16:09,030 --> 01:16:10,430
Why are you laughing?
1575
01:16:12,520 --> 01:16:16,140
You quit the team,
you're mouthing off in school,
1576
01:16:16,340 --> 01:16:17,490
and you're not doing
your homework.
1577
01:16:17,690 --> 01:16:19,270
You're gonna get into Stanford?
1578
01:16:19,470 --> 01:16:20,930
I didn't say
I quit the team permanently.
1579
01:16:21,130 --> 01:16:22,890
I said I wanted
to take a break.
1580
01:16:23,090 --> 01:16:24,280
And I had a 4.0 down the shore.
1581
01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:26,410
I could get it back
in a second if I cared.
1582
01:16:26,610 --> 01:16:27,670
Why don't you care?
1583
01:16:27,870 --> 01:16:28,620
Why, do you think?
1584
01:16:30,450 --> 01:16:31,590
- [Daniel] Shit.
- [Allison] Okay.
1585
01:16:31,790 --> 01:16:32,850
Why don't we just
call it a night, okay?
1586
01:16:33,050 --> 01:16:34,240
[Allison] Yeah,
I'm gonna go home.
1587
01:16:39,200 --> 01:16:40,510
Hey, um...
1588
01:16:40,710 --> 01:16:41,770
[tears off page]
1589
01:16:44,030 --> 01:16:47,080
Um, just in case you,
I don't know,
1590
01:16:49,030 --> 01:16:50,470
wanna talk, need to talk...
1591
01:16:51,910 --> 01:16:52,920
This is me.
1592
01:16:53,120 --> 01:16:55,040
And it's up to you,
but I'm here.
1593
01:16:56,350 --> 01:16:57,480
Okay.
1594
01:16:58,090 --> 01:16:59,610
[receding footsteps]
1595
01:17:01,870 --> 01:17:03,540
[Daniel] I'm sorry
about all that.
1596
01:17:03,740 --> 01:17:04,830
[Allison] Uh, it's fine.
1597
01:17:06,660 --> 01:17:08,450
You see what I'm dealing with.
1598
01:17:08,650 --> 01:17:10,060
Honestly, it's okay.
1599
01:17:11,190 --> 01:17:12,410
Look. [sighs]
1600
01:17:13,540 --> 01:17:15,450
She's a very fragile kid.
1601
01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:20,980
So, I'd appreciate it
if you didn't contact her.
1602
01:17:22,890 --> 01:17:23,940
Oh.
1603
01:17:24,590 --> 01:17:25,590
Okay.
1604
01:17:27,120 --> 01:17:29,390
Yeah, I just...
1605
01:17:29,590 --> 01:17:32,610
[stuttering] I just wanted her
to know that I was available
1606
01:17:32,810 --> 01:17:35,090
if she wanted to talk
or anything.
1607
01:17:35,290 --> 01:17:37,300
I'm just asking if you will
1608
01:17:38,260 --> 01:17:39,740
please just let her be.
1609
01:17:40,610 --> 01:17:41,750
Scout's honor.
1610
01:17:41,950 --> 01:17:44,620
No, that's Spock's
"Live long and prosper."
1611
01:17:44,820 --> 01:17:46,270
We Boy Scouts do this.
1612
01:17:46,470 --> 01:17:48,480
Oh. I prefer Spock.
1613
01:17:49,400 --> 01:17:51,320
Live long and prosper, Daniel.
1614
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:52,490
- [Daniel] Good night.
- Thank you.
1615
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:02,370
[piano keyboard playing]
1616
01:18:08,420 --> 01:18:09,420
Mmm.
1617
01:18:13,470 --> 01:18:16,300
[humming]
1618
01:18:30,440 --> 01:18:32,890
[resumes playing keyboard]
1619
01:18:33,090 --> 01:18:36,410
[plays descending notes]
1620
01:18:36,610 --> 01:18:37,800
[keys clang]
1621
01:18:50,550 --> 01:18:51,680
[cell phone chimes]
1622
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,430
[indistinct background chatter]
1623
01:19:22,620 --> 01:19:23,670
[chuckles]
1624
01:19:32,850 --> 01:19:34,030
[chuckling]
1625
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:44,170
[crowd cheering and applauding]
1626
01:19:45,860 --> 01:19:47,830
Go, baby! Go, go, go!
1627
01:19:48,030 --> 01:19:49,220
[quietly] Come on,
come on, come on.
1628
01:19:49,420 --> 01:19:50,620
[woman] Come on!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
1629
01:19:50,820 --> 01:19:52,440
- Yeah!
- [crowd cheers]
1630
01:19:52,640 --> 01:19:53,700
Attagirl!
1631
01:19:54,700 --> 01:19:56,180
Attagirl!
1632
01:19:57,700 --> 01:19:59,530
[cheering continues]
1633
01:20:00,660 --> 01:20:01,790
[mouthing] Thank you.
1634
01:20:06,320 --> 01:20:08,620
[somber music playing]
1635
01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:15,730
[bed creaking]
1636
01:20:15,930 --> 01:20:17,810
[heart beating]
1637
01:20:20,290 --> 01:20:21,810
[breathes heavily]
1638
01:20:24,470 --> 01:20:26,030
[fan creaking softly]
1639
01:20:30,650 --> 01:20:31,870
[cell phone chimes]
1640
01:20:43,920 --> 01:20:45,310
[Ryan] Why do you ride
your bike everywhere?
1641
01:20:45,920 --> 01:20:46,970
Um...
1642
01:20:48,450 --> 01:20:50,490
I haven't been in a car
since the accident.
1643
01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:52,840
'Cause you feel guilty?
1644
01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:56,460
Uh, no.
1645
01:20:57,150 --> 01:21:00,640
Because I feel... scared.
1646
01:21:00,840 --> 01:21:02,240
Daniel says
you were using your phone.
1647
01:21:04,550 --> 01:21:06,470
[Allison] Uh, I was using Maps.
1648
01:21:07,770 --> 01:21:08,780
Everyone uses Maps.
1649
01:21:08,980 --> 01:21:10,650
Yeah, well,
he has all the reports.
1650
01:21:10,850 --> 01:21:11,950
He's memorized them.
1651
01:21:13,170 --> 01:21:15,220
He stares at them at night.
It's weird.
1652
01:21:15,420 --> 01:21:18,230
Okay, well, I was there.
1653
01:21:18,420 --> 01:21:23,010
And the person who wrote
those reports wasn't, so...
1654
01:21:23,210 --> 01:21:25,450
[Ryan] Tell me
why you ended it with Nate.
1655
01:21:25,650 --> 01:21:27,400
My mom would want you guys
to be together still.
1656
01:21:28,620 --> 01:21:30,710
Ryan, I don't even know
what to say to that.
1657
01:21:31,710 --> 01:21:33,620
My mom used to really, um...
1658
01:21:35,890 --> 01:21:38,800
just, like, look out for him
and stuff, you know? Um...
1659
01:21:39,760 --> 01:21:40,800
And...
1660
01:21:42,200 --> 01:21:44,900
I've been thinking
maybe now I'm supposed to.
1661
01:21:45,770 --> 01:21:46,900
Because she can't.
1662
01:21:48,460 --> 01:21:50,870
I bet that would make her
really proud.
1663
01:21:51,070 --> 01:21:52,130
I could tell you
about what's happening
1664
01:21:52,330 --> 01:21:53,170
- with him if you want.
- No, that's okay.
1665
01:21:53,370 --> 01:21:54,520
Thank you, though.
1666
01:21:54,720 --> 01:21:55,920
I've tried really hard
to avoid all of that...
1667
01:21:56,110 --> 01:21:57,130
He moved to Tribeca.
1668
01:21:57,330 --> 01:21:58,210
Wow.
1669
01:21:59,300 --> 01:22:01,180
Yeah. He has a dog.
1670
01:22:01,380 --> 01:22:02,840
- A dog?
- Mm-hmm.
1671
01:22:03,030 --> 01:22:05,580
A French Bulldog named Jasper.
1672
01:22:05,780 --> 01:22:07,400
He never really struck me
as a Frenchie type,
1673
01:22:07,600 --> 01:22:09,230
but okay. [chuckles]
1674
01:22:09,430 --> 01:22:10,570
It's his girlfriend's.
1675
01:22:15,190 --> 01:22:16,190
Oh.
1676
01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:18,410
[Ryan softly] Yeah.
1677
01:22:19,890 --> 01:22:21,980
I... I don't need to hear this.
1678
01:22:23,190 --> 01:22:24,850
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.
1679
01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:28,900
How long have they been
going out?
1680
01:22:29,100 --> 01:22:31,850
I don't know.
Like, four months, I think.
1681
01:22:32,640 --> 01:22:33,470
Wow.
1682
01:22:33,670 --> 01:22:36,900
Yeah. She's a paralegal.
1683
01:22:37,950 --> 01:22:39,050
I don't even know what that is.
1684
01:22:39,240 --> 01:22:40,860
Is that, like, a good thing?
1685
01:22:42,130 --> 01:22:43,960
[voice breaking] Yeah. Wow.
1686
01:22:44,160 --> 01:22:46,100
- You just keep saying, "Wow."
- Yeah.
1687
01:22:46,300 --> 01:22:47,610
It's just a lot to take in.
1688
01:22:49,390 --> 01:22:50,800
Um...
1689
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:53,360
I'm really happy for him. I am.
1690
01:22:53,560 --> 01:22:55,050
He really deserves to be happy.
1691
01:22:55,920 --> 01:22:57,370
I...
1692
01:22:57,570 --> 01:22:59,410
- I shouldn't have told you.
- No, no, no. It's fine.
1693
01:22:59,610 --> 01:23:01,500
But you're upset.
1694
01:23:01,700 --> 01:23:03,630
We went through
so much together.
1695
01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:08,940
I really want good things
to happen to him.
1696
01:23:09,810 --> 01:23:11,080
I'm really sorry
1697
01:23:11,280 --> 01:23:12,340
- I made you upset.
- [Allison] It's okay.
1698
01:23:12,540 --> 01:23:13,510
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- I really
1699
01:23:13,710 --> 01:23:14,910
meant for this to be friendly.
1700
01:23:15,110 --> 01:23:16,910
Yeah. I'll see you in a second.
1701
01:23:17,110 --> 01:23:19,640
[breathing heavily]
1702
01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:23,170
[door slams]
1703
01:23:27,780 --> 01:23:30,230
[brooding music playing]
1704
01:23:30,430 --> 01:23:32,180
[crying softly]
1705
01:23:39,660 --> 01:23:40,660
[phone camera clicking]
1706
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:43,670
[sobbing]
1707
01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:54,110
[continues sobbing]
1708
01:23:59,990 --> 01:24:00,990
[sniffles]
1709
01:24:08,170 --> 01:24:09,570
Hey.
1710
01:24:09,770 --> 01:24:11,050
Is something wrong?
1711
01:24:11,250 --> 01:24:13,400
I, um... I forgot
I have a job interview.
1712
01:24:13,600 --> 01:24:16,100
So, I'm gonna go. [sniffles]
1713
01:24:16,300 --> 01:24:17,480
- You sick?
- [sniffles]
1714
01:24:18,090 --> 01:24:19,010
[voice breaks] Yeah.
1715
01:24:19,210 --> 01:24:21,360
- Withdrawal?
- I'm trying.
1716
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:23,310
All right. Look, don't stop.
1717
01:24:24,230 --> 01:24:25,230
- Okay?
- Okay.
1718
01:24:26,840 --> 01:24:27,800
Don't use.
1719
01:24:29,540 --> 01:24:30,630
Okay.
1720
01:24:30,830 --> 01:24:32,030
Don't stay home tonight.
Do something.
1721
01:24:32,230 --> 01:24:34,060
- Okay. Okay.
- All right? Okay.
1722
01:24:35,280 --> 01:24:36,150
You need a hug?
1723
01:24:38,070 --> 01:24:38,990
[voice breaking]
Um, if I hug you,
1724
01:24:39,190 --> 01:24:40,780
I'm gonna sob, so no.
1725
01:24:40,970 --> 01:24:42,300
Well, I can handle that.
1726
01:24:42,500 --> 01:24:44,340
No, I shouldn't. Not in front
of Ryan. [sniffles]
1727
01:24:44,540 --> 01:24:45,870
Okay.
1728
01:24:46,070 --> 01:24:47,820
Well, I'm hugging you
with my eyes.
1729
01:24:48,250 --> 01:24:49,210
Thank you.
1730
01:24:50,470 --> 01:24:51,860
- Be careful.
- Okay.
1731
01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:58,780
[Allison] I have to go.
So, I'll see you another time.
1732
01:24:59,130 --> 01:24:59,960
Bye.
1733
01:25:02,440 --> 01:25:03,570
[whispers] Fuck me.
1734
01:25:04,010 --> 01:25:04,960
Hey.
1735
01:25:05,360 --> 01:25:06,370
Let's go.
1736
01:25:06,570 --> 01:25:07,890
This asshole
charged me six buck
1737
01:25:08,090 --> 01:25:09,010
for a cup of coffee. Come on.
1738
01:25:11,230 --> 01:25:13,900
Okay.
1739
01:25:14,090 --> 01:25:17,070
["A Love Song Seven Ways"
playing]
♪ It starts so early now ♪
1740
01:25:17,270 --> 01:25:20,820
♪ The sun has gone
to Birkenau ♪
1741
01:25:21,010 --> 01:25:24,430
♪ As shadows creep
across your brow ♪
1742
01:25:24,630 --> 01:25:26,770
♪ I love you just the same ♪
1743
01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:29,480
[breathing heavily] Fuck!
1744
01:25:29,680 --> 01:25:31,570
♪ These freakish holidays ♪
1745
01:25:31,760 --> 01:25:35,480
♪ That make us act
like renegades ♪
1746
01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:39,090
♪ A blood bath
at the Ice Capades ♪
1747
01:25:39,290 --> 01:25:41,360
♪ Just makes me love you ♪
1748
01:25:41,560 --> 01:25:47,190
♪ More than I should ever
have been allowed ♪
1749
01:25:47,390 --> 01:25:50,410
♪ In a world of candy guns ♪
1750
01:25:50,610 --> 01:25:55,940
♪ Sweet as demons
in the candy apple sun ♪
1751
01:25:56,140 --> 01:26:02,030
♪ Think it quiet but then
don't sing it loud ♪
1752
01:26:02,230 --> 01:26:05,160
♪ Through a world
of number ones ♪
1753
01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:07,950
♪ Pointed skyward at the... ♪
1754
01:26:08,150 --> 01:26:09,080
Look at me!
1755
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:10,200
[glass shattering]
1756
01:26:11,770 --> 01:26:12,950
[plays chord]
1757
01:26:13,150 --> 01:26:15,440
♪ ...here like Buffalo ♪
1758
01:26:15,630 --> 01:26:18,830
♪ Now it feels like Bamako ♪
1759
01:26:19,030 --> 01:26:22,080
♪ I love you seven ways ♪
1760
01:26:23,560 --> 01:26:26,220
♪ You wear those baby tees ♪
1761
01:26:26,920 --> 01:26:28,190
[knocking on door]
1762
01:26:28,390 --> 01:26:29,880
[Diane] Allie!
1763
01:26:30,080 --> 01:26:32,490
- [knocking continues]
- [in sing-song voice] Allie!
1764
01:26:34,010 --> 01:26:34,980
Allie?
1765
01:26:35,180 --> 01:26:36,840
Did you job hunt today?
1766
01:26:40,970 --> 01:26:42,370
Please leave me alone.
1767
01:26:43,110 --> 01:26:45,380
I was looking on Etsy.
1768
01:26:45,580 --> 01:26:47,470
And I was thinking
it would be so cute
1769
01:26:47,670 --> 01:26:49,300
if we found, like,
a craft that we like.
1770
01:26:49,490 --> 01:26:51,590
And maybe we could
make a little money.
What do you think?
1771
01:26:52,990 --> 01:26:54,560
[groans]
1772
01:26:54,760 --> 01:26:56,080
[cell phone chimes
and vibrates]
1773
01:27:08,310 --> 01:27:09,620
[Diane] I was thinking
it'd be so cute
1774
01:27:09,820 --> 01:27:11,490
if it was like something fun
that we could sell.
1775
01:27:11,690 --> 01:27:15,410
Like little bibs for babies
that catch their food,
1776
01:27:15,610 --> 01:27:18,020
or salad dressing.
1777
01:27:18,220 --> 01:27:20,330
Or you know, just...
1778
01:27:20,530 --> 01:27:21,980
[gasps]
1779
01:27:22,180 --> 01:27:23,240
And you know what?
1780
01:27:23,440 --> 01:27:25,110
We could be on Shark Tank!
1781
01:27:25,310 --> 01:27:26,980
Can you imagine, Allie?
1782
01:27:27,180 --> 01:27:28,200
And I know you're like,
1783
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:30,510
"Oh, shut up, Mom!
You're drunk again."
1784
01:27:30,710 --> 01:27:31,720
But listen...
1785
01:27:42,430 --> 01:27:44,350
[Diane] Ooh, I just thought
of the best idea!
1786
01:27:44,550 --> 01:27:47,430
We could do, um, papier-mache!
1787
01:27:48,260 --> 01:27:49,750
Papier-mache!
1788
01:27:49,950 --> 01:27:51,440
So it would be like,
1789
01:27:51,640 --> 01:27:53,230
do a little dance,
a little song.
1790
01:27:53,430 --> 01:27:55,360
"Hey, Sharks! You know how
everybody likes papier-mache."
1791
01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:58,800
I would be like,
"Hey, Sharks! Hey, Sharks!"
1792
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:01,280
Hey, Sharks! Oh... Sharks!"
1793
01:28:01,480 --> 01:28:03,720
Wait, that's too hard.
We'll be like,
1794
01:28:03,920 --> 01:28:07,500
"I'm Diane.
This is my associate, Allison.
1795
01:28:07,700 --> 01:28:12,720
"And this is our... whatever!"
You know...
1796
01:28:13,890 --> 01:28:15,640
[softly] You weak piece
of fucking shit.
1797
01:28:15,840 --> 01:28:17,770
You couldn't make it go
two days.
1798
01:28:19,030 --> 01:28:20,510
I fucking hate you.
1799
01:28:21,330 --> 01:28:24,690
I hate you so much.
1800
01:28:24,890 --> 01:28:27,480
Allie, do you remember
when you were in fourth grade,
1801
01:28:27,680 --> 01:28:29,960
you made
that giant mitochondria?
1802
01:28:30,160 --> 01:28:34,920
That's something that
would sell, I promise you.
1803
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:37,530
We could be like,
"Hey, Sharks!"
1804
01:28:37,730 --> 01:28:40,060
We got them for you!
Papier-mache!"
1805
01:28:40,260 --> 01:28:43,710
You know, like all the...
1806
01:28:43,910 --> 01:28:46,620
[Diane's voice becomes muffled
and indistinct]
1807
01:28:51,190 --> 01:28:53,930
I knew you would like
that idea! I knew it!
1808
01:28:54,720 --> 01:28:56,720
[breathing heavily]
1809
01:28:57,810 --> 01:28:59,500
[pills rattling]
1810
01:29:06,340 --> 01:29:07,640
[bottle cap opening]
1811
01:29:12,820 --> 01:29:15,350
[shuddering]
1812
01:29:25,830 --> 01:29:27,880
[breathing heavily]
1813
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,320
[gasps]
1814
01:29:37,110 --> 01:29:38,930
- [panting]
- [faucet running]
1815
01:29:55,040 --> 01:29:56,560
[sniffles]
1816
01:29:57,430 --> 01:29:59,390
[continues panting]
1817
01:30:07,700 --> 01:30:09,750
[train horn toots]
1818
01:30:21,410 --> 01:30:22,330
Yes!
1819
01:30:22,530 --> 01:30:23,540
[laughs]
1820
01:30:24,410 --> 01:30:25,940
You're on the wrong side.
1821
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:28,590
What? No, I'm not.
1822
01:30:31,730 --> 01:30:33,210
Oh.
1823
01:30:33,410 --> 01:30:34,740
Well, good thing you came!
1824
01:30:34,940 --> 01:30:35,990
Oh, my God!
1825
01:30:36,510 --> 01:30:37,780
Get over here.
1826
01:30:37,980 --> 01:30:39,350
Whoo! Party!
1827
01:30:39,550 --> 01:30:41,210
[train whooshes by]
1828
01:30:48,440 --> 01:30:49,480
[knocking on door]
1829
01:30:58,190 --> 01:30:59,850
- Hello, Diane!
- Oh, hey!
1830
01:31:00,050 --> 01:31:01,900
I don't know
1831
01:31:02,090 --> 01:31:04,280
how much Allison has told you.
1832
01:31:05,540 --> 01:31:07,420
But we've been going
to the same program.
1833
01:31:07,620 --> 01:31:09,590
Oh, yeah, she said.
She told me, yeah.
1834
01:31:10,500 --> 01:31:11,690
My granddaughter, Ryan,
1835
01:31:11,890 --> 01:31:14,690
has taken an interest
in Allison and,
1836
01:31:14,890 --> 01:31:16,390
well, now I can't find her.
1837
01:31:16,590 --> 01:31:19,380
So I just thought I'd drop by
and see if she might be here.
1838
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:22,050
I tried texting them,
1839
01:31:22,250 --> 01:31:25,400
but, you know,
they all go green.
1840
01:31:25,600 --> 01:31:26,400
Do you know what that means?
1841
01:31:26,600 --> 01:31:27,660
I have no idea.
1842
01:31:27,860 --> 01:31:29,880
I hate when that happens,
when they go...
1843
01:31:30,080 --> 01:31:31,320
It's all green
1844
01:31:31,520 --> 01:31:32,880
and you don't know
if it's sent. It's so weird.
1845
01:31:33,080 --> 01:31:34,670
- [Daniel] Right. Right. Right.
- Drives me crazy.
1846
01:31:34,870 --> 01:31:36,410
You'll have to let me know
if you figure that out.
1847
01:31:36,610 --> 01:31:38,410
[both chuckle]
1848
01:31:38,610 --> 01:31:40,060
I'm not tech-y.
1849
01:31:40,260 --> 01:31:43,500
But I actually tonight was
trying to find Allison myself.
1850
01:31:43,700 --> 01:31:45,670
But do you really think
they're together tonight?
1851
01:31:47,500 --> 01:31:49,370
Both missing
at the same time. It...
1852
01:31:50,590 --> 01:31:52,120
seems a little curious.
1853
01:31:52,320 --> 01:31:54,430
[sighs] Seems like
no matter how old they get,
1854
01:31:54,630 --> 01:31:56,730
- you never stop worrying.
- Yeah.
1855
01:31:56,930 --> 01:31:58,250
But they always seem
to turn up.
1856
01:31:59,730 --> 01:32:00,950
Not always.
1857
01:32:02,820 --> 01:32:04,220
Yeah.
1858
01:32:04,420 --> 01:32:07,000
Well, can you let me know
if you find them?
1859
01:32:07,200 --> 01:32:08,610
- I will.
- Great.
1860
01:32:10,610 --> 01:32:11,520
Thank you.
1861
01:32:12,390 --> 01:32:13,750
What's that?
1862
01:32:13,950 --> 01:32:14,920
Oh, I was just... I...
1863
01:32:15,120 --> 01:32:17,100
I was just saying
thank you so much
1864
01:32:17,300 --> 01:32:19,410
for being so kind to Allison.
1865
01:32:19,610 --> 01:32:22,720
She said you've always been
so warm to her and you know,
1866
01:32:22,910 --> 01:32:26,070
I... just wanted to say thanks,
'cause, you know,
1867
01:32:26,270 --> 01:32:29,770
like, some people
wouldn't be like that, so...
1868
01:32:29,970 --> 01:32:33,510
Well, we're all just trying
to move on, I suppose.
1869
01:32:33,710 --> 01:32:34,810
Yeah.
1870
01:32:35,010 --> 01:32:35,950
I don't think
Allie and I are doing
1871
01:32:36,150 --> 01:32:37,810
a very good job of that,
Daniel.
1872
01:32:39,200 --> 01:32:40,470
You know what they say.
1873
01:32:40,670 --> 01:32:42,260
[Diane] What?
1874
01:32:42,460 --> 01:32:45,000
"Comparison
is the thief of joy."
1875
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,430
Oh. I didn't know
they said that.
1876
01:32:48,860 --> 01:32:49,910
Well...
1877
01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:52,310
somebody did.
1878
01:32:52,510 --> 01:32:54,350
[laughs] Yeah.
1879
01:32:55,830 --> 01:32:57,360
Well, I best be going then.
1880
01:32:57,560 --> 01:32:58,790
Oh, yeah, of course.
1881
01:32:58,990 --> 01:33:00,270
- [Daniel] Night.
- Good night.
1882
01:33:06,790 --> 01:33:08,930
[downtempo music playing]
1883
01:33:14,450 --> 01:33:16,850
[singing "Stardust"]
♪ Stare into space♪
1884
01:33:18,370 --> 01:33:20,030
♪ Out in the blue ♪
1885
01:33:20,230 --> 01:33:21,470
Oh, my God, there he is!
1886
01:33:21,670 --> 01:33:23,290
Look at him! Isn't he so hot?
1887
01:33:25,030 --> 01:33:26,780
Is that a face tattoo?
1888
01:33:26,980 --> 01:33:28,990
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God!
1889
01:33:29,950 --> 01:33:32,130
[sighs] I love this song!
1890
01:33:32,330 --> 01:33:33,570
Quinn sent it to me
in a playlist.
1891
01:33:33,770 --> 01:33:36,080
He, like, knows so much
about music.
1892
01:33:38,130 --> 01:33:39,220
Thank you.
1893
01:33:40,350 --> 01:33:41,610
For getting me to come.
1894
01:33:42,480 --> 01:33:43,570
Yeah.
1895
01:33:44,740 --> 01:33:47,970
[singer]
♪ You're the only thing♪
1896
01:33:48,170 --> 01:33:49,500
That's the guitarist, Thomas.
1897
01:33:49,700 --> 01:33:52,410
He's staring right at you!
1898
01:33:52,610 --> 01:33:54,760
[Allison] Oh, stop.
No, I'm okay. I'm fine.
1899
01:33:54,960 --> 01:33:56,070
I know, you can do
so much better.
1900
01:33:56,270 --> 01:33:57,770
- [Allison] What? No.
- But he is fucking hot.
1901
01:33:57,970 --> 01:33:59,730
[both laugh]
1902
01:33:59,920 --> 01:34:03,820
Uh... Okay, I, um...
I gotta go get someone in.
1903
01:34:04,020 --> 01:34:04,770
But I'll be right back.
1904
01:34:04,970 --> 01:34:06,120
- Should I come with you?
- No.
1905
01:34:06,320 --> 01:34:07,820
- Are you sure?
- No, I'll be right back. Yeah.
1906
01:34:08,020 --> 01:34:10,030
[singer]
♪ Take a photo♪
1907
01:34:11,550 --> 01:34:13,640
♪ Make it real♪
1908
01:34:15,690 --> 01:34:17,650
♪ You're the stardust♪
1909
01:34:23,650 --> 01:34:26,930
♪ Stardust♪
1910
01:34:27,130 --> 01:34:30,140
♪ Lighting the fields♪
1911
01:34:31,880 --> 01:34:34,270
♪ Caught in a state♪
1912
01:34:35,750 --> 01:34:38,320
♪ Watching it fall♪
1913
01:34:39,450 --> 01:34:42,020
♪ Aquarius bloom♪
1914
01:34:43,460 --> 01:34:45,940
♪ Just bought a car♪
1915
01:34:51,940 --> 01:34:53,470
Surprise!
1916
01:34:55,340 --> 01:34:56,690
Nathan?
1917
01:34:57,820 --> 01:34:59,300
- Hi!
- [Allison] Hi!
1918
01:35:00,520 --> 01:35:01,740
Ryan?
1919
01:35:01,940 --> 01:35:03,560
- What?
- Hi!
1920
01:35:04,740 --> 01:35:06,660
Uh, sorry.
1921
01:35:06,860 --> 01:35:09,920
Allie, uh,
this is my girlfriend, Joelle.
1922
01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:13,090
[voice cracking]
Hi. I'm sorry. Um...
1923
01:35:13,830 --> 01:35:14,840
Nice to meet you.
1924
01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:16,490
I've heard so much about you.
1925
01:35:17,360 --> 01:35:18,400
Oh.
1926
01:35:19,670 --> 01:35:20,590
Okay.
1927
01:35:20,790 --> 01:35:22,020
I think we're the victims
1928
01:35:22,220 --> 01:35:24,510
of a teenage girl's
good intentions.
1929
01:35:24,700 --> 01:35:26,250
- [Allison] What?
- I said...
1930
01:35:26,450 --> 01:35:28,850
I said I think
she meant well. Ryan.
1931
01:35:31,460 --> 01:35:33,210
[voice breaking]
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
1932
01:35:33,410 --> 01:35:34,340
- [Nathan] Are you good?
- I'm fine.
1933
01:35:34,540 --> 01:35:35,650
I'm fine. I'm gonna go.
1934
01:35:35,850 --> 01:35:36,860
Allie!
1935
01:35:40,470 --> 01:35:41,910
Ryan.
1936
01:35:42,110 --> 01:35:43,910
What the fuck
did you just do that for?
1937
01:35:45,130 --> 01:35:47,140
No offense, but you weren't
supposed to come.
1938
01:35:47,340 --> 01:35:49,270
I know being a paralegal
is a good job,
1939
01:35:49,470 --> 01:35:50,840
but he's supposed
to be with Allie.
1940
01:35:51,040 --> 01:35:53,270
- I'm sorry.
- [Nathan] Ryan?
1941
01:35:53,470 --> 01:35:54,960
What the fuck did you just do?
1942
01:35:55,880 --> 01:35:57,320
I'm fixing it.
1943
01:35:57,520 --> 01:35:58,970
For Mom.
1944
01:35:59,170 --> 01:36:01,450
Go find her
and then I'm taking you home.
1945
01:36:02,620 --> 01:36:03,580
[Ryan scoffs]
1946
01:36:05,060 --> 01:36:06,450
I am so sorry.
1947
01:36:07,100 --> 01:36:08,850
Serious... This...
1948
01:36:09,050 --> 01:36:10,250
- It's fine. It's okay.
- Yeah?
1949
01:36:10,450 --> 01:36:11,510
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You good?
1950
01:36:11,710 --> 01:36:12,860
I'm fine. I need a drink.
1951
01:36:13,060 --> 01:36:14,030
- But I'm fine.
- Yes.
1952
01:36:14,230 --> 01:36:15,370
Oh, fuck!
1953
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:21,390
[singer] You guys
have been great,
1954
01:36:21,590 --> 01:36:22,560
- thank you so much!
- [cheers and applause]
1955
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:23,960
Allie!
1956
01:36:24,160 --> 01:36:26,350
Why the fuck
did you just do that?
1957
01:36:26,550 --> 01:36:28,400
I thought it was gonna
make you happy.
1958
01:36:28,590 --> 01:36:31,440
You thought
that would make me happy?
1959
01:36:31,640 --> 01:36:33,180
- [Ryan] Yeah!
- Are you insane?
1960
01:36:33,380 --> 01:36:35,360
Hi! Can I please get, um...
Hey, I'm sorry.
1961
01:36:35,560 --> 01:36:38,060
Could I just get a glass
of tequila, please?
1962
01:36:38,260 --> 01:36:39,360
Fuck, I can't breathe.
1963
01:36:39,560 --> 01:36:40,670
- Ryan, I can't fucking breathe!
- Calm down.
1964
01:36:40,870 --> 01:36:42,500
Calm down, okay? I'm sorry.
1965
01:36:42,700 --> 01:36:44,630
You fucking did that
on purpose!
1966
01:36:44,830 --> 01:36:45,930
You did that to hurt me, right?
1967
01:36:46,130 --> 01:36:47,760
Is that what you did?
Yeah, you did.
1968
01:36:47,960 --> 01:36:49,240
- Just admit it. Yes, you did!
- No, I didn't!
1969
01:36:49,440 --> 01:36:50,810
- You did that
on fucking purpose!
- No, I didn't!
1970
01:36:51,010 --> 01:36:53,770
You killed, baby! You killed!
1971
01:36:53,970 --> 01:36:56,210
- That was incredible, man!
- [Ryan] Hi! Hi!
1972
01:36:56,410 --> 01:36:58,470
I'm Quinn's friend, Ryan.
1973
01:36:58,670 --> 01:37:00,340
You guys sounded so good!
1974
01:37:00,540 --> 01:37:02,170
You're gonna be so famous!
1975
01:37:02,370 --> 01:37:04,870
I know. I really have to savor
my anonymity.
1976
01:37:05,070 --> 01:37:08,610
Hey, we're gonna go to this
party over in Williamsburg.
1977
01:37:08,810 --> 01:37:10,210
You guys wanna come?
1978
01:37:11,820 --> 01:37:13,530
[sighs] Fuck, yeah, whatever.
Let's go!
1979
01:37:13,730 --> 01:37:14,780
I need to get outta here.
1980
01:37:15,560 --> 01:37:17,440
[whooping]
1981
01:37:21,050 --> 01:37:22,750
Do you have the time?
1982
01:37:22,950 --> 01:37:24,700
- [cell phone chiming]
- Yeah.
1983
01:37:28,320 --> 01:37:30,370
Hey, Danny. Everything okay?
1984
01:37:30,570 --> 01:37:34,110
I can't find Ryan.
I've tried everything.
1985
01:37:34,310 --> 01:37:38,070
Anyway, my mind
can't help but wonder if...
1986
01:37:38,270 --> 01:37:40,340
Well, if you've seen Allison
or not.
1987
01:37:40,540 --> 01:37:43,600
Uh, no, I haven't, but I can
text her if you want.
1988
01:37:43,800 --> 01:37:44,990
Well, I've tried texting
both of them,
1989
01:37:45,190 --> 01:37:46,390
but neither one is answering.
1990
01:37:46,590 --> 01:37:47,600
What's wrong?
1991
01:37:47,800 --> 01:37:49,040
Daniel can't find
his granddaughter.
1992
01:37:49,240 --> 01:37:51,430
Um, well, if he pays for
the phone, he can just log
1993
01:37:51,630 --> 01:37:53,050
into the account,
and use Find My Phone.
1994
01:37:53,240 --> 01:37:55,480
Yeah. Daniel, do you know
what Find My Phone is?
1995
01:37:55,680 --> 01:37:56,960
No, what the hell is that?
1996
01:37:57,160 --> 01:37:58,790
[hip-hop music playing
on speaker]
1997
01:37:58,990 --> 01:38:01,130
[Ryan] This is amazing!
1998
01:38:01,910 --> 01:38:05,620
Whoa!
1999
01:38:05,820 --> 01:38:07,220
[indistinct chatter]
2000
01:38:20,760 --> 01:38:21,930
[cell phone chiming]
2001
01:38:28,110 --> 01:38:29,120
Fuck!
2002
01:38:30,600 --> 01:38:34,040
Allie, this is Jarvis. He has
the stuff you asked for.
2003
01:38:34,240 --> 01:38:35,300
Hey!
2004
01:38:35,500 --> 01:38:37,050
I don't have any thirties,
just dope.
2005
01:38:37,250 --> 01:38:40,130
Uh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, whatever you have.
2006
01:38:41,950 --> 01:38:43,570
Can you spot me?
2007
01:38:43,770 --> 01:38:45,740
- I'll pay you back, I promise.
- Uh, okay, all right.
2008
01:38:52,570 --> 01:38:53,570
Thanks.
2009
01:38:59,320 --> 01:39:00,410
[snorts]
2010
01:39:01,670 --> 01:39:03,240
It's coming. Look like!
2011
01:39:06,590 --> 01:39:07,470
Yeah, here it is.
2012
01:39:07,670 --> 01:39:08,720
Okay, what does it say?
2013
01:39:12,250 --> 01:39:14,340
[muffled music playing]
2014
01:39:14,540 --> 01:39:16,610
[Ryan grunts]
2015
01:39:16,810 --> 01:39:19,380
- [cell phone ringing]
- The whole room is spinning.
2016
01:39:21,340 --> 01:39:22,860
Oh, that's my phone.
2017
01:39:24,130 --> 01:39:25,390
Don't worry about it.
2018
01:39:27,260 --> 01:39:29,880
Can we just stop for a second?
2019
01:39:30,080 --> 01:39:31,270
Where is my phone?
2020
01:39:31,470 --> 01:39:33,360
[cell phone continues ringing]
2021
01:39:33,560 --> 01:39:35,050
I think I'm gonna throw up.
2022
01:39:38,010 --> 01:39:39,270
What the fuck!
2023
01:39:40,620 --> 01:39:42,810
She's in the fucking city!
2024
01:39:43,010 --> 01:39:45,030
She's in fucking Williamsburg!
2025
01:39:45,230 --> 01:39:47,120
Okay, Daniel, wait.
I'm gonna come pick you up.
2026
01:39:47,320 --> 01:39:49,070
I don't want you to do
something you're gonna regret.
2027
01:39:49,270 --> 01:39:50,770
I'm gonna kill
that motherfucker.
2028
01:39:50,970 --> 01:39:52,680
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm
worried about. I'm on my way.
2029
01:40:06,390 --> 01:40:08,880
- [Allison grunts]
- Okay. Easy does it.
2030
01:40:09,080 --> 01:40:10,880
- You're wasted.
- No, I'm not.
2031
01:40:11,080 --> 01:40:13,320
[hip-hop music playing
on speaker]
2032
01:40:13,520 --> 01:40:14,480
Ryan?
2033
01:40:16,350 --> 01:40:19,010
[breathing heavily]
2034
01:40:39,160 --> 01:40:40,380
Ryan?
2035
01:40:44,600 --> 01:40:46,260
- Ryan, are you in there?
- [knocking on door]
2036
01:40:46,460 --> 01:40:48,610
[Quinn] She's fine.
Go the fuck away!
2037
01:40:48,810 --> 01:40:49,790
[Allison] Ryan?
2038
01:40:49,990 --> 01:40:52,040
[techno music playing
on speaker]
2039
01:40:57,220 --> 01:40:58,190
[knocking on door]
2040
01:40:58,390 --> 01:40:59,350
[Allison] Ryan?
2041
01:41:00,830 --> 01:41:03,050
Can you just
open the door, please?
2042
01:41:05,360 --> 01:41:06,280
Ryan.
2043
01:41:06,480 --> 01:41:07,500
[Quinn] Go away!
2044
01:41:07,700 --> 01:41:09,720
[Daniel] Allison? Where's Ryan?
2045
01:41:09,920 --> 01:41:11,200
What're you doing here?
2046
01:41:11,400 --> 01:41:13,460
Where the fuck is Ryan?
2047
01:41:13,660 --> 01:41:15,770
She's in here. I'm trying to...
She won't answer.
2048
01:41:15,970 --> 01:41:16,940
- [knocking on door]
- Ryan!
2049
01:41:17,890 --> 01:41:18,940
[Daniel] Ryan?
2050
01:41:20,370 --> 01:41:22,070
It's your grandpa,
open the door.
2051
01:41:23,290 --> 01:41:24,690
Open the door, baby.
2052
01:41:24,890 --> 01:41:26,080
[Quinn] Fuck off!
2053
01:41:27,080 --> 01:41:28,130
[kicks door]
2054
01:41:28,330 --> 01:41:30,180
- What the fuck!
- [Allison] Ryan!
2055
01:41:30,370 --> 01:41:32,830
[Daniel] You again!
Get the fuck up!
2056
01:41:33,030 --> 01:41:34,010
- Danny, no, no, no.
- Oh, my God!
2057
01:41:34,200 --> 01:41:35,570
- Don't do that!
- Nothing happened.
2058
01:41:35,770 --> 01:41:38,140
Tell me why I shouldn't
kill you, motherfucker?
2059
01:41:38,340 --> 01:41:39,580
We were just making out.
2060
01:41:39,780 --> 01:41:40,870
You hurt my baby.
2061
01:41:43,530 --> 01:41:45,150
- Now, I'm gonna hurt you.
- [gun cocks]
2062
01:41:45,350 --> 01:41:46,660
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [Simone] Danny!
2063
01:41:47,620 --> 01:41:48,530
Dad!
2064
01:41:49,050 --> 01:41:50,850
No!
2065
01:41:51,050 --> 01:41:53,370
The hell you're doing here?
This is family business.
2066
01:41:53,570 --> 01:41:55,030
Don't do this.
2067
01:41:55,230 --> 01:41:57,030
Go on back
to your new life, Nate.
2068
01:41:57,230 --> 01:41:58,680
[Quinn] Put the gun down,
please.
2069
01:41:58,880 --> 01:42:00,030
[sobbing] Please, please!
2070
01:42:00,230 --> 01:42:01,420
He's not worth it.
2071
01:42:01,620 --> 01:42:03,690
I got nothing left to lose.
2072
01:42:03,890 --> 01:42:05,070
You got me!
2073
01:42:06,420 --> 01:42:07,510
You got Ryan!
2074
01:42:08,290 --> 01:42:09,610
We need you!
2075
01:42:09,810 --> 01:42:11,950
You do this, it's over!
2076
01:42:14,340 --> 01:42:15,870
We get no more time.
2077
01:42:16,070 --> 01:42:18,080
[Simone] Danny,
put the gun down.
2078
01:42:20,260 --> 01:42:21,260
Please.
2079
01:42:26,050 --> 01:42:27,140
[sighs]
2080
01:42:28,570 --> 01:42:29,570
[Quinn] Oh, my...
2081
01:42:31,180 --> 01:42:32,230
That's my niece.
2082
01:42:32,920 --> 01:42:34,360
She's 16 years old.
2083
01:42:34,710 --> 01:42:36,240
[groans]
2084
01:42:36,440 --> 01:42:37,630
[Simone] Oh, my God! All right,
we gotta get out of here.
2085
01:42:37,830 --> 01:42:38,770
Hey, Ryan, baby?
2086
01:42:38,960 --> 01:42:40,330
- Please get up.
- My fucking nose!
2087
01:42:40,530 --> 01:42:43,340
- [Daniel] Get over here!
- [Quinn] My fucking nose!
2088
01:42:43,530 --> 01:42:45,850
[techno music playing
on speaker]
2089
01:42:50,720 --> 01:42:51,730
[door creaks]
2090
01:42:53,120 --> 01:42:55,080
[Allison breathing heavily]
2091
01:42:56,640 --> 01:42:58,090
The fuck is the matter
with you?
2092
01:42:58,290 --> 01:42:59,530
I was trying to protect her!
2093
01:42:59,720 --> 01:43:00,920
- [Daniel] Protect her?
- Yeah!
2094
01:43:01,120 --> 01:43:03,180
I told you to stay away
from her!
2095
01:43:03,380 --> 01:43:04,440
Who the fuck are you
2096
01:43:04,640 --> 01:43:05,970
to be talking
about protecting somebody?
2097
01:43:06,170 --> 01:43:07,580
- You're a mess.
- Dad!
2098
01:43:07,780 --> 01:43:10,010
I was... I was trying to help.
2099
01:43:10,210 --> 01:43:11,620
I was... I was trying to...
2100
01:43:12,440 --> 01:43:13,800
I was trying to make it right.
2101
01:43:14,000 --> 01:43:15,270
Let me tell you something.
2102
01:43:15,970 --> 01:43:17,540
You will never ever
2103
01:43:17,740 --> 01:43:19,750
be able to fix the things
you've done to me.
2104
01:43:20,930 --> 01:43:22,020
You hear me?
2105
01:43:22,800 --> 01:43:24,380
I want my life back.
2106
01:43:24,580 --> 01:43:25,720
I want my child back.
2107
01:43:26,850 --> 01:43:29,460
My baby, my... Molly.
2108
01:43:30,810 --> 01:43:32,250
You took my baby away from me!
2109
01:43:32,450 --> 01:43:33,600
Dad! Enough.
2110
01:43:33,800 --> 01:43:34,990
Nah, it's okay.
2111
01:43:36,730 --> 01:43:37,730
Say it.
2112
01:43:39,160 --> 01:43:40,600
Shit, I wanted to hate you.
2113
01:43:41,990 --> 01:43:43,210
But I stopped myself.
2114
01:43:45,870 --> 01:43:49,130
And when you walked into
that meeting, I thought...
2115
01:43:50,130 --> 01:43:52,360
This is God testing me.
2116
01:43:52,560 --> 01:43:56,760
This is proof of a higher power
2117
01:43:56,960 --> 01:43:59,050
testing me in this church.
2118
01:44:00,750 --> 01:44:02,140
Trying to see
if he could break me.
2119
01:44:03,230 --> 01:44:04,360
But I'll show him.
2120
01:44:07,060 --> 01:44:08,240
I'm unbreakable.
2121
01:44:09,760 --> 01:44:11,590
I will offer my hand
2122
01:44:12,280 --> 01:44:13,890
to this sorry
2123
01:44:14,720 --> 01:44:18,560
little fucking pill-junkie.
2124
01:44:18,760 --> 01:44:21,820
All I asked you to do
was stay away from this child.
2125
01:44:23,300 --> 01:44:24,340
Now look at her.
2126
01:44:25,690 --> 01:44:26,950
She got no mother.
2127
01:44:29,130 --> 01:44:30,130
No father.
2128
01:44:32,220 --> 01:44:34,180
And how many years
can I have left?
2129
01:44:36,530 --> 01:44:38,880
What a fucking waste you are.
2130
01:44:39,220 --> 01:44:40,060
Dad!
2131
01:44:40,260 --> 01:44:43,180
What a fucking waste of a soul.
2132
01:44:45,270 --> 01:44:46,460
Of a chance.
2133
01:44:46,660 --> 01:44:48,810
Danny, enough.
You've said your piece.
2134
01:44:49,010 --> 01:44:50,800
This isn't
how it was supposed to be.
2135
01:44:52,850 --> 01:44:54,020
I'm a good person.
2136
01:44:55,980 --> 01:44:58,160
I never said
God has to be fair.
2137
01:44:58,940 --> 01:45:00,070
I just never thought
2138
01:45:01,680 --> 01:45:02,990
he could be this cruel.
2139
01:45:06,600 --> 01:45:07,830
Taxi!
2140
01:45:08,030 --> 01:45:09,260
[Simone] Hold on, Danny,
let me take you home.
2141
01:45:09,460 --> 01:45:10,350
[Daniel] No.
2142
01:45:10,550 --> 01:45:13,350
I'll go with him.
Hey! Hey, Ryan!
2143
01:45:13,550 --> 01:45:15,870
Come on, wake up.
We're taking you home.
2144
01:45:17,390 --> 01:45:18,520
[Ryan grunts]
2145
01:45:29,190 --> 01:45:31,200
You drank!
2146
01:45:31,400 --> 01:45:35,320
You turned your map app
back on at 17:36:22.
2147
01:45:36,630 --> 01:45:39,720
Impact was at 17:36:24.
2148
01:45:41,240 --> 01:45:45,200
Skid marks show you lost
30 feet before you swerved.
2149
01:45:46,380 --> 01:45:49,130
You didn't have time to stop
2150
01:45:49,330 --> 01:45:52,040
because you were looking at
your fucking phone, Allison.
2151
01:45:53,560 --> 01:45:55,080
Stop blaming Alvarez.
2152
01:45:56,520 --> 01:45:58,480
They're dead because of you.
2153
01:46:08,360 --> 01:46:09,450
[stifles sob]
2154
01:46:09,650 --> 01:46:10,710
[car door closes]
2155
01:46:11,580 --> 01:46:13,360
[sobbing softly]
2156
01:46:17,890 --> 01:46:19,810
All right. All right.
It's all right.
2157
01:46:20,010 --> 01:46:21,200
Come here. Come here.
2158
01:46:22,890 --> 01:46:25,070
It's all right. Okay.
2159
01:46:28,200 --> 01:46:29,560
[kid] No, that can't go
over there.
2160
01:46:29,760 --> 01:46:31,210
That can't...
2161
01:46:32,210 --> 01:46:34,300
That can't... That can't go...
2162
01:47:05,630 --> 01:47:08,240
[soft music playing]
2163
01:47:30,310 --> 01:47:31,570
Good morning.
2164
01:47:32,310 --> 01:47:33,490
Good morning.
2165
01:47:34,830 --> 01:47:36,400
I made a house.
2166
01:47:38,660 --> 01:47:40,010
Do you have a headache?
2167
01:47:42,540 --> 01:47:43,540
Yeah.
2168
01:47:49,500 --> 01:47:50,900
Hey.
2169
01:47:51,100 --> 01:47:53,030
Can I, uh, sell this, please?
2170
01:48:02,470 --> 01:48:03,560
I'll give you $12,500.
2171
01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:06,390
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thank you.
2172
01:48:07,130 --> 01:48:08,350
It is a beauty.
2173
01:48:10,520 --> 01:48:12,050
[piano music playing]
2174
01:48:12,250 --> 01:48:15,570
[Allison singing
"I Hate Myself"]
♪ I woke up today♪
2175
01:48:17,310 --> 01:48:20,310
♪ At least that much is true ♪
2176
01:48:24,140 --> 01:48:27,280
♪ I saw what people see ♪
2177
01:48:29,280 --> 01:48:33,240
♪ What a year this made of me ♪
2178
01:48:40,420 --> 01:48:44,520
♪ I tried a hundred times ♪
2179
01:48:44,720 --> 01:48:49,080
♪ But each time
I thought of you ♪
2180
01:48:50,740 --> 01:48:52,490
Thank you.
2181
01:48:52,690 --> 01:48:54,790
♪ I hate myself ♪
2182
01:48:54,990 --> 01:48:57,710
♪ I hate myself ♪
2183
01:48:57,910 --> 01:49:01,620
♪ I fuckin' hate myself ♪
2184
01:49:07,540 --> 01:49:08,500
[crowd cheering]
2185
01:49:08,700 --> 01:49:13,190
♪ And I ♪
2186
01:49:15,070 --> 01:49:18,900
♪ I want days of pain♪
2187
01:49:21,590 --> 01:49:24,740
♪ Oh, to feel♪
2188
01:49:24,940 --> 01:49:28,990
♪ The things I need♪
2189
01:49:33,650 --> 01:49:36,050
♪ To pay off this shame♪
2190
01:49:36,250 --> 01:49:39,970
♪ And I know
that makes me broken♪
2191
01:49:40,170 --> 01:49:44,090
♪ I know that makes me weak♪
2192
01:49:46,440 --> 01:49:50,670
♪ I guess I'll put
my armor back on now♪
2193
01:49:52,230 --> 01:49:55,110
♪ I found a way♪
2194
01:49:55,310 --> 01:49:58,020
♪ But I turned around♪
2195
01:50:00,500 --> 01:50:03,120
♪ One step to start♪
2196
01:50:03,320 --> 01:50:07,990
♪ But I'd rather fall down♪
2197
01:50:10,900 --> 01:50:13,790
♪ Too much of a coward♪
2198
01:50:13,980 --> 01:50:16,960
♪ To just say I'm wrong♪
2199
01:50:17,160 --> 01:50:19,090
[Ryan] Grandpa, you are not
gonna believe this.
2200
01:50:19,290 --> 01:50:20,270
One of the girls on the team
2201
01:50:20,470 --> 01:50:21,830
invited me to a party
this weekend.
2202
01:50:22,180 --> 01:50:23,400
You?
2203
01:50:23,600 --> 01:50:24,870
- Yes, me!
- [laughs]
2204
01:50:28,920 --> 01:50:32,580
[Allison continues singing]
♪ Help me, please♪
2205
01:50:34,190 --> 01:50:37,940
♪ Try to fix yourself♪
2206
01:50:38,140 --> 01:50:40,800
♪ That's all they said to me♪
2207
01:50:49,730 --> 01:50:52,770
♪ Try to fix myself♪
2208
01:50:53,990 --> 01:50:57,340
♪ To know how hard
that would be♪
2209
01:51:05,520 --> 01:51:07,490
[song ends]
2210
01:51:07,690 --> 01:51:08,480
Hi.
2211
01:51:10,700 --> 01:51:11,700
Hi.
2212
01:51:15,970 --> 01:51:17,490
Thank you so much for coming.
2213
01:51:18,620 --> 01:51:19,540
Sure.
2214
01:51:24,060 --> 01:51:25,670
- You look great.
- [both chuckle]
2215
01:51:26,590 --> 01:51:27,770
I nearly put makeup on,
2216
01:51:27,970 --> 01:51:29,980
and then I just laughed
at myself. [laughs]
2217
01:51:32,330 --> 01:51:33,380
Do you like my clips?
2218
01:51:34,120 --> 01:51:35,560
Wow, yeah.
2219
01:51:35,760 --> 01:51:37,080
I stole them from a pharmacy.
2220
01:51:37,820 --> 01:51:38,830
- [scoffs]
- Not recently.
2221
01:51:39,030 --> 01:51:41,080
- Like, a while back.
- [both laugh]
2222
01:51:45,480 --> 01:51:46,660
I don't know where to start.
2223
01:51:46,860 --> 01:51:47,740
That's okay.
2224
01:51:48,310 --> 01:51:49,920
Um, I'll start.
2225
01:51:51,790 --> 01:51:52,830
[smacks lips]
2226
01:51:53,530 --> 01:51:55,310
[breathes deeply]
2227
01:51:57,530 --> 01:51:59,230
Nate, I didn't have...
2228
01:52:01,410 --> 01:52:02,890
the faintest idea
2229
01:52:04,410 --> 01:52:06,370
how to handle my own grief.
2230
01:52:09,810 --> 01:52:12,290
I didn't even know
if I was allowed to grieve.
2231
01:52:12,490 --> 01:52:14,650
We were all flailing.
2232
01:52:14,840 --> 01:52:16,900
Yeah, but I abandoned you,
2233
01:52:18,030 --> 01:52:19,680
and that was so selfish.
2234
01:52:22,120 --> 01:52:24,430
I ran as fast as I could
away from you.
2235
01:52:25,600 --> 01:52:27,610
I still wanted you
to be my wife.
2236
01:52:29,090 --> 01:52:30,130
I know.
2237
01:52:35,050 --> 01:52:37,180
But the truth is, Nate, I...
2238
01:52:39,270 --> 01:52:40,880
I was so sure
2239
01:52:42,360 --> 01:52:43,230
I was gonna...
2240
01:52:47,490 --> 01:52:49,630
- try...
- I know.
2241
01:52:51,760 --> 01:52:53,110
And you know I tried.
2242
01:52:55,590 --> 01:52:57,370
I tried, but I couldn't.
2243
01:52:59,900 --> 01:53:01,690
'Cause I didn't wanna
hurt you again.
2244
01:53:01,890 --> 01:53:03,480
It wasn't your fault.
2245
01:53:03,680 --> 01:53:04,730
It was.
2246
01:53:06,470 --> 01:53:07,860
Your dad was right.
2247
01:53:09,470 --> 01:53:10,740
If I hadn't been looking
at my phone,
2248
01:53:10,940 --> 01:53:12,350
I could have stopped in time.
2249
01:53:16,650 --> 01:53:19,700
You deserve an apology that
never came, and I'm so sorry.
2250
01:53:24,360 --> 01:53:25,490
I'm really sorry.
2251
01:53:27,840 --> 01:53:28,940
[sighs]
2252
01:53:29,140 --> 01:53:30,100
[chuckles dryly]
2253
01:53:32,320 --> 01:53:34,160
I've been spending some time
with him lately.
2254
01:53:34,360 --> 01:53:35,280
Yeah.
2255
01:53:36,590 --> 01:53:39,110
- Oh, it's a work-in-progress.
- [chuckles]
2256
01:53:40,330 --> 01:53:41,330
Good.
2257
01:53:44,730 --> 01:53:46,290
He kept me alive, you know.
2258
01:53:50,340 --> 01:53:51,600
I know about your ear.
2259
01:53:57,560 --> 01:54:02,090
Hey... I need you
to be clear on one thing.
2260
01:54:04,880 --> 01:54:06,440
I loved you so much.
2261
01:54:10,190 --> 01:54:11,840
[tearfully] And along
with everything else,
2262
01:54:13,320 --> 01:54:14,720
I will forever grieve
2263
01:54:14,920 --> 01:54:17,060
for the life that we might
have had. [sniffles]
2264
01:54:19,940 --> 01:54:21,020
Me too.
2265
01:54:24,590 --> 01:54:26,810
- We were a good team.
- [both chuckle softly]
2266
01:54:28,200 --> 01:54:30,000
It would be nice
2267
01:54:30,200 --> 01:54:31,910
if we could one day
find some way
2268
01:54:32,110 --> 01:54:33,860
to be in each other's lives.
2269
01:54:34,820 --> 01:54:36,310
Maybe that's unrealistic,
2270
01:54:36,510 --> 01:54:37,600
- but...
- Maybe.
2271
01:54:38,740 --> 01:54:39,690
[softly] Yeah.
2272
01:54:41,350 --> 01:54:42,520
Maybe.
2273
01:54:53,710 --> 01:54:55,370
I think
we can all thank Elaine.
2274
01:54:55,570 --> 01:54:56,980
Thank you so much.
2275
01:54:57,180 --> 01:54:59,240
I really appreciated
getting to know you,
2276
01:54:59,440 --> 01:55:01,330
and talking to you.
2277
01:55:01,530 --> 01:55:04,030
Everybody, our deeply
inappropriate stories
2278
01:55:04,230 --> 01:55:05,420
- from yesterday...
- [all laughing]
2279
01:55:05,620 --> 01:55:08,600
...have been well in my head.
King's laughing.
2280
01:55:08,800 --> 01:55:11,070
Your stories are foul. [laughs]
2281
01:55:12,380 --> 01:55:13,910
Mama,
2282
01:55:14,110 --> 01:55:15,220
I'm so grateful for you.
2283
01:55:15,420 --> 01:55:17,350
Thank you for everything
you've done for me.
2284
01:55:17,550 --> 01:55:18,910
And I love you.
2285
01:55:20,470 --> 01:55:22,920
[all applauding]
2286
01:55:23,120 --> 01:55:25,350
[soft piano music playing]
2287
01:55:28,920 --> 01:55:31,840
The food was terrible.
Thank you.
2288
01:55:32,040 --> 01:55:33,800
[Allison singing
"The Best Part"]
♪ I can't shake you off, dear♪
2289
01:55:34,000 --> 01:55:37,240
♪ It's something
I have tried to do♪
2290
01:55:37,440 --> 01:55:41,420
♪ But I can't
shake you off, dear♪
2291
01:55:41,620 --> 01:55:44,590
♪ Sit on trains
and think of you♪
2292
01:55:44,790 --> 01:55:46,290
♪ But I...♪
2293
01:55:46,490 --> 01:55:50,940
♪ Oh, I can't tell♪
2294
01:55:52,030 --> 01:55:58,210
♪ If it hurts or it helps♪
2295
01:56:00,430 --> 01:56:06,260
♪ So breathe me in♪
2296
01:56:07,300 --> 01:56:11,740
♪ One last time♪
2297
01:56:15,050 --> 01:56:17,800
♪ And we play♪
2298
01:56:18,000 --> 01:56:23,020
♪ Our rehearsed♪
2299
01:56:23,220 --> 01:56:27,190
♪ Goodbyes♪
2300
01:56:30,850 --> 01:56:34,600
♪ I can't shake you off, dear♪
2301
01:56:34,800 --> 01:56:38,870
♪ It's something
I have tried to do♪
2302
01:56:39,070 --> 01:56:43,480
♪ But I can't
shake you off, dear♪
2303
01:56:43,680 --> 01:56:47,390
♪ I sit on trains
and think of you♪
2304
01:56:48,430 --> 01:56:54,830
♪ But you are the best part♪
2305
01:56:56,530 --> 01:57:01,790
♪ You♪
2306
01:57:04,620 --> 01:57:05,810
Thank you.
2307
01:57:06,000 --> 01:57:09,330
[scattered applause]
2308
01:57:09,530 --> 01:57:12,860
Um, I recently recorded
my first EP,
2309
01:57:13,060 --> 01:57:14,290
and it's at the coat check
2310
01:57:14,490 --> 01:57:16,770
because I'm also
the coat check girl.
2311
01:57:16,970 --> 01:57:18,950
Uh, so come buy a CD,
2312
01:57:19,150 --> 01:57:20,470
or I won't give you
your coats back.
2313
01:57:20,670 --> 01:57:22,550
[people laughing]
2314
01:57:26,080 --> 01:57:27,510
[cell phone ringing]
2315
01:57:31,870 --> 01:57:33,570
Hi.
2316
01:57:33,770 --> 01:57:35,570
I know you're calling
about my one-year clean,
2317
01:57:35,770 --> 01:57:37,830
but I need to tell you
what I just did.
2318
01:57:40,570 --> 01:57:42,090
Yeah. No, I can talk.
2319
01:57:43,880 --> 01:57:44,790
Okay.
2320
01:57:54,890 --> 01:57:56,800
[somber music playing]
2321
01:57:57,980 --> 01:57:59,160
Hey, Dwayne.
2322
01:57:59,360 --> 01:58:00,690
Could you take these
to the kitchen for me?
2323
01:58:00,890 --> 01:58:02,340
Thank you so much.
2324
01:58:02,540 --> 01:58:05,080
[soft, indistinct chatter]
2325
01:58:05,280 --> 01:58:06,780
[Simone] She'll give it back.
Right, Ryan?
2326
01:58:06,980 --> 01:58:08,260
- That's nice.
- [Ryan] Thank you.
2327
01:58:08,460 --> 01:58:11,570
Hey. How's it going?
Ooh, wait, I have cupcakes.
2328
01:58:11,770 --> 01:58:13,920
- Need any help?
- No, no, no. I'm all good.
Thank you.
2329
01:58:14,120 --> 01:58:14,870
Actually, we broke up
2330
01:58:15,070 --> 01:58:16,090
- a few months ago.
- Yeah...
2331
01:58:16,290 --> 01:58:17,400
- [Allison] Hey, Mama.
- Yes?
2332
01:58:17,600 --> 01:58:20,100
Could you go pass these around
over there?
2333
01:58:20,300 --> 01:58:21,230
I think they would like some.
2334
01:58:21,430 --> 01:58:22,490
- Sure.
- Thank you.
2335
01:58:22,690 --> 01:58:24,740
- Ooh, they smell so good.
- They are good.
2336
01:58:45,810 --> 01:58:47,810
[somber music continues]
2337
01:59:01,910 --> 01:59:02,830
[switch clicks]
2338
01:59:38,730 --> 01:59:40,350
[Daniel] Dear Allison.
2339
01:59:40,550 --> 01:59:43,880
Down here in 1:87 scale,
2340
01:59:44,080 --> 01:59:45,520
the lovers always kiss,
2341
01:59:46,390 --> 01:59:49,010
the neighbors are always kind,
2342
01:59:49,210 --> 01:59:52,060
and the trains always
take you to the far-off places
2343
01:59:52,260 --> 01:59:54,400
you always swore you'd go.
2344
01:59:56,100 --> 01:59:58,150
In life, of course,
2345
01:59:58,350 --> 02:00:00,490
nothing is nearly
as neat and tidy.
2346
02:00:02,230 --> 02:00:05,370
Everything I own has been left
to Nathan and Ryan.
2347
02:00:06,370 --> 02:00:08,120
Nathan has agreed to move home
2348
02:00:08,320 --> 02:00:10,980
and be her guardian
until she's off to college.
2349
02:00:12,110 --> 02:00:13,240
He'll need help.
2350
02:00:14,250 --> 02:00:16,820
Please help him, Allie.
2351
02:00:17,020 --> 02:00:20,260
Molly always said Nathan was
the best version of himself
2352
02:00:20,460 --> 02:00:21,510
when he was with you.
2353
02:00:22,730 --> 02:00:24,310
Who knows,
2354
02:00:24,510 --> 02:00:28,880
maybe you can even get her
into Stanford. [chuckles]
2355
02:00:29,080 --> 02:00:30,910
When we first met
in that diner,
2356
02:00:31,780 --> 02:00:34,490
you asked what my tattoo meant.
2357
02:00:34,690 --> 02:00:37,450
- Amor fati is Latin.
- [typewriter clacking]
2358
02:00:37,650 --> 02:00:39,710
It means "to love one's fate."
2359
02:00:40,920 --> 02:00:44,110
Neither of us
chose this fate, Allie.
2360
02:00:44,310 --> 02:00:47,770
But perhaps we can find a way
to love it.
2361
02:00:47,970 --> 02:00:51,860
Fate has given me
one final year with my son.
2362
02:00:52,060 --> 02:00:54,990
He looks at me differently
these days.
2363
02:00:55,190 --> 02:00:58,080
Once in a while I even
catch him smiling at me
2364
02:00:58,280 --> 02:01:01,510
with a look that might
just even be love.
2365
02:01:02,860 --> 02:01:04,900
Amor fati, Allison.
2366
02:01:06,080 --> 02:01:07,430
Until we meet again,
2367
02:01:08,820 --> 02:01:09,820
Daniel.
2368
02:01:13,350 --> 02:01:14,350
[Ryan] Allie?
2369
02:01:14,960 --> 02:01:16,190
Yeah?
2370
02:01:16,390 --> 02:01:17,350
What are you doing?
2371
02:01:18,790 --> 02:01:19,800
Come on upstairs.
2372
02:01:20,000 --> 02:01:20,830
[Allison] Yeah, okay.
2373
02:01:29,320 --> 02:01:32,450
["Deep In Love" playing]
2374
02:01:36,460 --> 02:01:37,460
[switch clicks]
2375
02:01:46,470 --> 02:01:51,470
♪ Down in the valley
the first of May ♪
2376
02:01:52,650 --> 02:01:54,960
[door creaks]
2377
02:01:55,160 --> 02:02:00,660
♪ Gatherin' flowers
both fresh and gay ♪
2378
02:02:03,750 --> 02:02:10,630
♪ Gatherin' flowers
both red and blue ♪
2379
02:02:10,830 --> 02:02:12,760
♪ How little thought
of what... ♪
2380
02:02:12,960 --> 02:02:15,590
[Allison breathes deeply]
2381
02:02:15,790 --> 02:02:18,020
♪ ...what love could you do ♪
2382
02:02:19,460 --> 02:02:23,720
♪ Don't you♪
2383
02:02:27,340 --> 02:02:31,510
♪ Break my heart ♪
2384
02:02:36,820 --> 02:02:40,350
♪ Don't you♪
2385
02:02:44,660 --> 02:02:48,310
♪ Break my heart ♪
2386
02:02:55,710 --> 02:03:01,190
♪ I put my hand in
into the bush ♪
2387
02:03:04,680 --> 02:03:08,680
♪ Finding the sweetest
sweetest rose ♪
2388
02:03:13,030 --> 02:03:18,950
♪ I pricked my finger
deep to the line ♪
2389
02:03:20,080 --> 02:03:24,270
♪ And left the sweetest rose♪
2390
02:03:24,470 --> 02:03:28,580
♪ Sweetest rose behind ♪
2391
02:03:28,780 --> 02:03:32,180
♪ Don't you ♪
2392
02:03:36,530 --> 02:03:40,280
♪ Break my heart ♪
2393
02:03:45,850 --> 02:03:49,770
♪ Don't you ♪
2394
02:03:53,680 --> 02:03:58,080
♪ Break my heart ♪
2395
02:04:37,380 --> 02:04:41,990
♪ Don't you ♪
2396
02:04:45,080 --> 02:04:49,000
♪ Break my heart ♪
2397
02:04:54,530 --> 02:04:59,440
♪ Don't you ♪
2398
02:05:02,580 --> 02:05:06,540
♪ Break my heart ♪
2399
02:05:13,280 --> 02:05:18,730
♪ Thousands and thousands
all on this Earth ♪
2400
02:05:18,930 --> 02:05:20,820
[song ends]
2401
02:05:21,020 --> 02:05:22,730
["On My Mind" playing]
2402
02:05:32,080 --> 02:05:35,530
♪ Honey you've been
on my mind ♪
2403
02:05:35,730 --> 02:05:39,010
♪ Like Christmas and birthdays
when I was five ♪
2404
02:05:39,210 --> 02:05:41,190
♪ Like the ticking clock
for racers ♪
2405
02:05:41,390 --> 02:05:43,320
♪ And those
in the prison line ♪
2406
02:05:43,520 --> 02:05:47,020
♪ Like Everest for Mallory and
how drinkers know their wine ♪
2407
02:05:47,220 --> 02:05:50,720
♪ And the birds and the bees
when you hit nine ♪
2408
02:05:50,920 --> 02:05:54,860
♪ And pearls for those girls
2409
02:05:55,060 --> 02:05:58,510
♪ Who always have their hair
in pretty curls ♪
2410
02:05:58,710 --> 02:06:00,690
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2411
02:06:00,890 --> 02:06:02,860
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2412
02:06:03,060 --> 02:06:05,080
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2413
02:06:05,280 --> 02:06:07,740
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2414
02:06:07,940 --> 02:06:11,260
♪ Honey you've been
in my head ♪
2415
02:06:11,460 --> 02:06:15,220
♪ Like homework on Sunday when
I've been laughing instead ♪
2416
02:06:15,420 --> 02:06:19,100
♪ Like cigarettes for the cool
kids behind the garden shed ♪
2417
02:06:19,300 --> 02:06:23,750
♪ And love for the lovers
and the elephant by my bed ♪
2418
02:06:23,950 --> 02:06:27,800
♪ And pearls for those girls ♪
2419
02:06:28,000 --> 02:06:31,760
♪ Who always have their hair
in pretty curls ♪
2420
02:06:31,960 --> 02:06:35,850
♪ And football
for English boys ♪
2421
02:06:36,050 --> 02:06:39,600
♪ Who always have
the newest toys ♪
2422
02:06:39,800 --> 02:06:41,820
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2423
02:06:42,020 --> 02:06:43,950
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2424
02:06:44,150 --> 02:06:46,210
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2425
02:06:46,410 --> 02:06:48,430
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2426
02:06:48,630 --> 02:06:50,030
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2427
02:06:56,730 --> 02:07:03,480
♪ So don't you
go away too long ♪
2428
02:07:04,920 --> 02:07:11,450
♪ Oh don't you
go away too long ♪
2429
02:07:11,650 --> 02:07:18,450
♪ Oh don't you
go away too long ♪
2430
02:07:19,280 --> 02:07:23,380
♪ Oh don't you go♪
2431
02:07:23,580 --> 02:07:27,340
♪ Away too long ♪
2432
02:07:27,540 --> 02:07:29,730
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2433
02:07:29,930 --> 02:07:31,640
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2434
02:07:32,550 --> 02:07:34,830
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2435
02:07:35,020 --> 02:07:37,480
♪ You're on my mind ♪
2436
02:07:37,680 --> 02:07:38,650
[song ends]